Sometimes, I just could use a hug

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

We all could, afternine! Thanks!

@DivineSource444

2 ай бұрын

I just said the same thing about 1/2 an hour ago.

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes get a hug at church and sometime at the Senior Center. They have no idea how much that one little thing means to someone alone.

@victoriapalmer5146

2 ай бұрын

I seriously don't remember the last time I had a hug I don't even remember the last time I've been in someone's home visiting with them nor do I remember the last time anybody's been in my home to visit and have a cup of coffee. Some days I just wish somebody would hug me

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

@@victoriapalmer5146 I hug people all the time, everywhere I go. I like hugs to and need them. I've never once had anyone get mad at me, most just say thank you..which is what I always say to. Truthfully I need them as much as maybe they do too.

From an 85 year old :when your last good friend is gone and you can't go to the grocery or hairdresser or whatever it's worse. Think of a way to prepare for that time. It's much harder. You are only left with you-tube to hear person speak and it's not nice at all. God bless you ❤

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thank you Gloria - glad you tuned in!

@heaven7360

Ай бұрын

Yes I had a couple friends that I now look back on as really solid people with a lot of integrity that I was so lucky to have met. They are now passed away. I now have only a couple people in my life...a neighbor whose dog I walk, and a friend I've known for a while who lives far away and I can't travel to see. The neighbor isn't really into me other than as a dog walker...she's civil but that's it...and my old friend well she has great qualities but we have edges. So it's hard to just sit in my head a lot and that has created anxiety that I never had before. It's lucky when people have someone to talk to...really special. I don't think people realize really how difficult the later years of life can be for some people. Not all of us have the perfect family members all around to support us..or any support. I would think there would be some kind of services and help from county health departments or social services but I don't find it.

@m.mercedesalonsosevilla2090

Ай бұрын

The Lord always listens

@MastermindMom

Ай бұрын

As if you're speaking directly to me. Every last word. I'm not ok either. More fragile and more vulnerable for sure. Thank you for today's talk.

@Bevity

Ай бұрын

@@heaven7360There isn't anything to ease loneliness either. So my time is coming. And I live in a foreign country and will die here. Alone. I wonder why there isn't a place online to find friends, people to talk to, fellow lonely people, but there isn't! It's still dating, scammers, interests, etc. You don't need the same interests to talk to someone on a human level, someone who needs contact the same as you do.

Just as important as having someone you want to talk to, is having someone who wants to talk to you. Many people can't converse any deeper than the weather or the latest sports score.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

You are so right about that toolmike!

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

So very true. It's rare to have a true conversation anymore. It's becoming a lost art as people connect more with the virtual world and AI.

My loneliness is crushing. Thanks for your channel.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks Kelsey. So sorry you are feeling such loneliness.

@kelseymathias3881

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergal thank you for the connection; sometimes hard to go on like this.

@boomer3150

2 ай бұрын

@@kelseymathias3881 💗

@MelissaCoup

2 ай бұрын

((HUGS)) to you dear sister. Said a prayer for you, hang in there.

@kelseymathias3881

2 ай бұрын

@@MelissaCoup Thank you so much Melissa....hugs to you, too

Just stay away from the gossips (low vibration people)

I had the greatest friend for 50 years that I could tell anything to. She actually wanted to hear it. I often told her she had a gift for listening, not only for me, but for many others. She passed away 2 years ago and I am so lost. I find my self "spilling my guts" to strangers ( which do not want to hear it). I try to talk to my children and they try, but, you know, they tell me to get therapy. So, you are not alone.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I hear you Karen! I've told my best friend that she has no outlive me!

@Selah1141

2 ай бұрын

🤗

@martina21953

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergal I've told my best friend (86 years old) that she is not allowed to die because I need her!

@Dezertroze43

2 ай бұрын

Losing a close and dear friend we can talk to is so painful. I am so sorry. No one can replace her but I pray u find someone to share ur heart with. Sending u lots of 💕 love.

@Lonelyone1111

2 ай бұрын

I do the same i go on facebook and spill my guts. And i get yelled at saying im negative. When i just want someone to like me and talk to me. But you're filled with pain no one wants you

I’m 69 too and all alone. I have a caregiver first 11 hours a week. That’s it. I have nobody to talk too about heavy stuff it even daily stuff. I do journal but it just turns into a 1 person pity party I’m so alone it’s hurts bc and is slowly killing me. You are the first person in all my life that can feel my pain. Thank you for coming into my life for even the briefest of moments.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Karelife! Sorry things are so difficult for you. Journaling does help, even when you may feel it doesn't. Glad you found the channel. Take care!

@victoriapalmer5146

2 ай бұрын

You are not alone. I used to keep what was called a dump it Journal for over 2 years but then I looked back on it and realized it was just a pity party and nothing was getting any better the only person I have to talk to is my therapist once a week and I can't stand her it's been two and a half years every time I get out of therapy I say why did I bother going? I guess it was an excuse to take a shower and get out of the house ugh sometimes I sketch or doodle instead of journaling just to distract my mind

@Kirbygal55

Ай бұрын

There are so many people like you who have no one to talk to. It is so sad to think of this.

@goldalevin869

Ай бұрын

@@eldergal The Crappy Childhood Fairy has something called the Daily Practice.

@ClaireCelticMystic

Ай бұрын

How refreshing to hear the truth, your honesty. Now, what do you feel you would like, in terms of company, friends, connection and chats? I hear you! I am in a very similar desert landscape socially, so I understand completely! I'm in a new country, alone, on a very remote island, so it is intensely solo. I am noticing ways I can take walks with my dear dog to feel better and also going to bed early to start the day feeling fresh. I am determined to care for myself well, until I find a way to meet people I like and can spend time with, and I have been seeking a therapist here for 7 months! I was suicidal for years, when my whole family died, 9 peeps, but therapists helped me grieve a lifetime of loneliness and pain, and I refused to kill myself despite my daily, all-day, upon-waking-until-bedtime painful agony. Now, I am consistently happy, even alone. Mostly. Life is generous and beautiful. I trust that. I wish you being comfortable being kind to every voice, every feeling and every need you feel. Aloha, Love, Claire

I'm an 83 year old male introvert. It's hard to find a female introvert because we stay home.

I couldn't confide in my family. They would weaponize it against me, and they criticized anyone who used therapists.

@ClaireCelticMystic

Ай бұрын

...they are idiots. Sorry. True.

I don't have anyone I can have a deep conversation with. The members of my family, who live in state, are not the type I can confide in. Both are extroverts, with tons of close friends, and they aren't interested in discussing deep subjects. I, on the other hand, am an introvert, who spends thousands of hours learning about new things that I would love to discuss with someone else. I have so many interests I had to get my Ph.D. in Interdisciplinary Studies as my dissertation involved biology, psychology, sociology, business administration, zoology, and other fields. So I talk to my mouse, or dog, and pretend that they are interested in what I'm saying. I guess this is the price I pay for outliving my spouse and close friends.

I’ve thought about a therapist but therapists have two big problems. One they charge money and two they have time limits.

I see a therapist once a week so I can talk to someone in person and get things off my chest. It does help a lot because I live alone.

@eldergal

3 ай бұрын

Thanks Vicki! So glad you benefit from that!! 😊💜🌟

@roycurtiss1630

3 ай бұрын

If anyone ever needs to talk about their struggles and pain,I'm here to listen.Trauma is REAL and it helps to have someone to listen and understand.Love And Peace To You All.❤️

@keka16933

2 ай бұрын

Do prayer with connect to God much helpful!!

@jlina

2 ай бұрын

​@@roycurtiss1630 I wish I could find someone to talk to it's so frustrating

@Fegga1955

Ай бұрын

Been there and back,felt stupid paying to share,prefer walking to cafes here in Greece,also saleswoman,window shopping,just chatting with others.too many of us struggling,not many people,we need a community ❤❤❤❤

I'm estranged from my children atm and I have no one to talk with. I do have 4 cats so I talk to them 😊

@lenoregorman4688

Ай бұрын

Hello Mary Harris! I have my 7 dogs that I talk with, they make life so much less lonely and I feel safe that they're here! and hello to your cats!

@maryharris8939

Ай бұрын

@@lenoregorman4688 Thank you and say hello to your dogs

@tonikelm4461

26 күн бұрын

I have two fur babies. I surely do love them....

Friends and therapists are no sunstitute for family. Throughout human history until a few decades ago people stayed in the city or town where they were born. Women had more children in previous times and they had them at a younger age than they do today so people had lots of relatives in close proximity.The increased loneliness today may come mainly from the lack of family.

@vester7457

2 ай бұрын

I agree completely

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

I absolutely agree. You can't make someone care, whether they are therapists or people you know. Friends and acquaintances are not family and never will be. Their own families will always take priority.

I have absolutely no one to talk to day after day after day. Not even casual acquaintances. The therapist thing: I spent months on the endless waiting lists here and finally got one for once a month. I lost my closest friend 10 years ago. I lost all my resources in 2020. Spent over 3 years waiting for housing. I have no one to do anything at all with. 2 or 3 people? I wish.

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

I'm sorry I know how you feel. I'm all alone, but have a few people, but only because I have to reach out, seems they never do. Which hurts my heart and makes me get mad...but that's another story and I won't go there. I volunteer to do Home Del. Meals at the local Senior Center..it's only a couple hours a day but helps me be around my age people and help someone too. I go to church, I have a good friend that I've known for over 40 yrs, but were not close as we use to be and it hurts. Doy you go to church anywhere or is there a Senior Center near you? I worked my whole life, retired, and I thot my work friends would be my friends still...but it doesn't work like that so much. It is hard period. I'll be your friend on here. Not on all the time but we might could talk online etc.

@Teffi_Club

2 ай бұрын

Volunteering? A public library, animal shelter, nursing home or other?

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

@@Teffi_Club I volunteer at the local Senior Center to deliver meals to home bound people. Love it...was over the program when I worked there.

@MelissaCoup

2 ай бұрын

You are in my prayers, hang in there. You sound like such a sweet person. In my most severe depression, seeing others worse off really enlightened me. Visiting a Nursing home, terminal illness, I realized to some extent it was depression and what was I doing? It is people, it's not you. Keep trying to find friends.

@TedBates-sv8cf

2 ай бұрын

You are precious. Know that!

I'm struggling with my best longest friend drifting away. We've known one another for more than 15 years. The relationship is asymmetric in that she has family and her older sister even comes out to stay at her house for a week or so quite often. She has her dog walking pals. She doesn't have kids but has nephews not too far away, and now goes to their place for holidays. Whereas, I don't have any family. It really hurt my feelings when we planned a lunch together, and when I texted to confirm on the day before she had scheduled an air conditioning guy to do annual tune up. She will never go out on short notice. I think she's just lost interest in what was an important relationship for me, not so much for her. Sad. I guess it happens.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

What do you like to do? Read, walk dogs? I found that it became easy to make friends with other dog walkers/lovers. Up til then I knew Noone in my neighborhood. So try it. Dog people are usually easy to get to know.

@joysachs9032

Ай бұрын

Can so identify. Asymmetrical (unbalanced) relationships seem my path right now. It's upsetting and annoying and Very frustrating that I always am the Giver and get little to crumbs in return. It's lonely on a profound level. Take care. We need to nurture Ourselves ♡♡♡

@lorilex16

Ай бұрын

i am 72 and my friend of12 yrs. starting saying i offended her and started sendi g me evil, vile texts amd actually rebuked me in the name of Jesus...she never explained..the bible teaches that if someone offends u , you should go to them in person and explain what the offense was so explanations can be made..she did this in the middle of a crisis..my daughter and grandaughters were snatched away by a narcissist husband and my husband was having hip surgery ..our daughter didnt even come to see him...its been terrible..i talk to jesus but friendships with real people help

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

​@lorilex16 so sorry you've experienced such trouble. I'm wondering if she is in early stage of dementia.

@lorilex16

Ай бұрын

@@maureenmannion6748 i never thought about that..

I caught myself having a conversation with myself now I chew gum just in case it happens among strangers. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer everyone dropped us like they were going to catch something even cancelling coming for Thanksgiving an hour before we expected them.

@mihaelavoievidca6860

16 сағат бұрын

Sorry about this but this means your friends wasn’t real friends maybe it’s better ❤

My last therapist told me that I need someone to talk to. I didn't go back. My last friend only wanted to talk about herself and not listen. Now I find people like you on KZread and it helps me to feel better and not so alone. I'm 75, no car, I go for little walks, have been alone for decades and most of my neighbors do not speak English or are too young to be bothered with an old person. My computer is my best friend.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this lilacbird! Glad it made you not feel as alone! Take care.

@lilacbird8193

Ай бұрын

@@eldergal Thank you so much for responding to my comments. I don't feel so invisible now.

@peacefulpoate5613

Ай бұрын

Understood ! When ya least expect it, someone does show kindness and it's so appreciated 😊

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

@@lilacbird8193 I too feel similar things like you. Sometimes I feel like the world has swallowed me up. Everyone seems like they have such a much better life than me in so many ways. I see sometimes that there are others who are suffering in some ways too. It takes a lot to be strong. Wish I could give you a hug. I just wanted to let you know I am wishing the best to come your way. I too find lots of interesting information on the computer. It's great you are searching out information on the computer.

@lilacbird8193

19 күн бұрын

@@heaven7360 Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me.

Forging a deep connection later in life is very difficult - have to be careful who you trust - not having anyone as a senior is normal

@heaven7360

19 күн бұрын

Why does it seem though that everyone has such a close knit family and friends and everything is just fine? It's very confusing for me.

You’re intelligent and introverted. It’s a hard combo for me as well. I desire real conversations and they are few and far between.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I hear you msovaz! Thanks!

@carolinedrolet2522

Ай бұрын

So, so true... I am the same.

@carolinedrolet2522

Ай бұрын

So, so true... I feel the same way.

What you are talking about requires a degree of trust that is rare in today's world. A)so, no matter the depth or length of friendship, it can feel like "dumping your crap on someone" always a one way street. For me it was my husband...he's been gone now for 5 yrs. We were all we needed. I miss him terribly. (Ann)

I'm a 75 year old divorced man. I live alone. it's peaceful and quiet. When I retired to France in 2019 I didn't know anyone, so I joined a several local expat Facebook groups in the area where I live. Within a month I had joined two weekly coffee groups, a hiking club, a wine tasting group, a book club, and a group that visits local museums and art galleries. Get out of your head and your house and into the world. It's an amazing place full of people you can talk to. You'll find friendly people and friends who are just like you; trust me. The WORST possible thing a older person can do is live in their head. ***Edited *** Life is what YOU make it.

@margkropf5541

Ай бұрын

Makes good sense.Your special interest groups sound wonderful. I wish that special person could evolve out of thin air.Not going to happen. Meanwhile, let’s all just get on with life.

@twofarg0ne763

Ай бұрын

@@margkropf5541 It has always surprised me that people feel they can "manifest" things. It does happen. I know in my own case I was looking for signs and when I saw them I took action. That is how I started my business back in 1979. I've never been able to manifest people and never really wanted to.... people are a roll of the dice.

@Elizabeth-yg2mg

28 күн бұрын

Where in France?

@twofarg0ne763

28 күн бұрын

@@Elizabeth-yg2mg I live in Carqueiranne in the south of France. A little city on the Med coast just east of Toulon.

@Elizabeth-yg2mg

28 күн бұрын

@@twofarg0ne763 Thanks--I'm going over in the fall and wondering where to plant myself!

Im older now and have lost my Mum and Dad. I could tell my Mum anything and miss that so much. There’s no one like her in my life. She was always ready to listen and always made me feel better ❤

@ReginaCreates2

2 ай бұрын

🤗

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I know what you mean, Sandra! Thanks!

@redwarrior2424

2 ай бұрын

@sandrasmith5943 You're so lucky to have had that. I could tell my mom something that she might hear if she wasn't tuning me out. She would listen in order to gather information to use against me later. She always managed to say something unkind, sometimes through thoughtlessness, sometimes intentionally. I always felt worse after talking to her. It took many years for me to realize she took pleasure in it and would always be that way.

@TedBates-sv8cf

2 ай бұрын

Know this: Someone loves you and Someone cares. I've found that there is all sufficient grace for those who spell hope J-E--S-U-S. I know how to spell dear and precious friend.

@sandrasmith5943

2 ай бұрын

@@redwarrior2424I’m sorry to hear that. I also have close people that would do similar things. As long as you know what they are up to you can stay away from them and look for the genuine honest and caring people. Quite hard to find them. That is why I miss my mum so much ❤

Talk to the Lord! He always listens.

@Peace2day

Ай бұрын

I agree, talk to the Lord ❤

@GailFeltman

Ай бұрын

Always! 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸

@MrsBridgette2012

Ай бұрын

So do the birds, kitty cats and puppies.

@margoquintana2283

Ай бұрын

Getting annoyed with "talk to the lord" advice. I think the lord is pretty busy with a war in two or three countries, saving people in accidents & you realize he gets millions of prayer requests daily. I guess my thoughts on that are mainly he put people here for us to talk to. Do you think he has time to be so many people's personal therapist?

@GailFeltman

Ай бұрын

@@margoquintana2283 yes I do … HE wants His Children to talk to Him … Father God is our loving Father … Jesus Christ Our Savior … and the Holy Spirit is with us always … our Comforter … that’s why Jesus died for us on the Cross … taking all our sin on … so we may receive Salvation and Forgiveness and be Adopted into His Family! When Jesus ascended to Heaven … He told His Disciples … I must go so the Comforter can come (Holy Spirit) to you. When we ask Jesus to come into our heart and forgive us our sins … you are automatically Saved! Yes … Father God has all the time to hear our prayers or to just listen to us … Jesus is our Beloved and wants us to talk to Him always and the Holy Spirit resides in us always. Please know The Trinity … 3 in 1 … loves us so much and always have time for us to talk and talk! I responded to you when I read what you wrote … my Mother would say the same thing to me … ! Blessings to you and know you are loved by The Father … The Son and the Holy Spirit! 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸🌹

You can talk to Lord Jesus and be part in a church close to your home the believers in a church they are like a family they are great friends they help each other you can try this and if you don’t drive the church have their bus they can take you and bring you home i prefer small churches there really in my church we care like family ❤

I find that more people are suffering from Isolation and loneliness....as I am. Difficult finding a Therapist, all r either not accepting new clients or have a waiting list. At 73 with a medical condition, I'm becoming more discouraged at resolving mental and physical problems. Never thought life would become this difficult. Really enjoy your videos and insight.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing Thomas! That is so horrible not even albe to receive mental health services. You are right that so many more people are suffering from isolation and loneliness.

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

There is a service online called "BetterHelp" that have online therapist. I know because I talk to a therapist online. It has helped.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

There are various clubs where I live that provide a lot of support to people. But they deal with addiction and there's Alanon for the spouses or families of the addicted person. There's a website called NextDoor that does a little to get a sense of community. I understand about waiting lists. Here where I am there are waiting lists for senior. Housing that may take years. Maybe we need to set up meetings, get togethers for ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE. Do you remember that song?

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

I am, too. finding a therapist is very hard, especially one that takes Medicare. I am looking really hard for one myself. Good luck to you.

@catz2505

Ай бұрын

I use Better Help online and have a great therapist.

Your videos just hit me so strong. I sat here for 18 months so alonei took care of my mom for ten years n before that we traveled together. Sat on dock at her old home drinking coffee. Just every thing we did together. after my mom n dog died My kids came both them for few days. Then they disappeared into their grief. Never called ck on me or even text. Maybe once month short call or text. It felt insane to be alone so long. I never left the house. Depressed for first time in my life really. Full of anxiety I didn’t know what to do with it. It just lasted n lasted til I feared I had died! In some other reality where everyone was gone. lol. I ordered food n didn’t even drive my car. It seems crazy now. Anyway I felt the loss deeply. My dog I’m still pissed about. He was young to die n I suspect left with my mom he was so messed up about her death. Little traitor. One day I woke up n the sun had come back into my heart. I think I just had to feel it. Go through it. But doing it so thoroughly I think left me even happier then I was before my dark night. My kids still ignore me mostly. My granddaughters are awesome but busy. N I have two of my mom’s dogs. One my new puppy. Bag bad boy. lol. It was the real hell of my life. I’ve obviously had other losses in life I’m 66. But I was younger stronger. Less tired. Blew through them much faster. Anyway. I know meditate walk. N even met some young bubbly young neighbors. I have seven siblings. Well six one passed last month. The youngest. I love them all really. But they have not called or visited except for one older brother in many years. I’m two hours north in country. Beautiful land with river running through my back yard. A protected forest behind me. N huge farms all around. Most beautiful place. But lonely. Neighbors far. I’m learning how to be joyful with spirit and with nature. Well same thing I guess. I’m not alone in world. But sure feels that way most time. It’s shocking to me how insensitive my kids are. Boy n girl. Late 40s. Nice people. Buy me incredible gifts. My son just bought me old mint caddie. N a trip to Vegas. But he no longer seems have any time for me. My daughter has always ignored me. Doesn’t even bother answering my texts half time. Amazing. But she buys me lots gifts also. They just don’t share much themselves. We were so close before they were moved out. In fact my daughter did not move out til 30s. My son n I did everything together. Even worked same school. When he first moved across country we talked every day twice a day. Now he barely checks in. It’s like old people are not needed so not interesting or something I’m not sure why. They see me as strong. Happy. Capable n perhaps they think I just don’t need them much. I really don’t know. But so lonely. I have few friends that are hours away. But we text. Havnt seen them in years. They very busy n not for good reasons. Anyway long story. 😂. Thank you for the platform. It helps to read other stories for sure. I’ve been bit stunned by the disappearance of lots my life. When you don’t work especially it’s so isolating. Hello to all from beautiful green north US.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing Michelle! Take care!

@carmenbarroso5332

8 күн бұрын

Hola desde España. Eres afortunada de vivir en un entorno tan bonito.

When there is no one to talk to I read the Holy Word of God. It’s awesome and best advice I can beg people to try. Read it cover to cover little at a time when you can every single day.

@heloisepoye8891

Ай бұрын

Ok

@mihaelavoievidca6860

14 сағат бұрын

I’m doing the same reading the Bible every day ❤

Doing well, but I'm 72 and don't have anybody besides acquaintances at work. Just sad and fighting depression. Your channel is a big help. Thank you.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks so much for watching Deborah!

I think a lot and enjoy the quiet. I learnt early to be my own best friend. When I go outside, I'm friendly to all who pass by. I've made a lovely garden to invite comments from passersby. The garden makes everyone smile and be happy.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Love that! Thanks for sharing!

Just somebody to talk to about anything, the weather or pets or complain about grocery prices would be nice. I went to the Senior Center and those by people will not stop talking about their kids. Don’t read, don’t have hobby’s, don’t even look at the newspaper. No interior life at all.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

I know what you mean Elizabeth! I find that too among many senior citizens. Thanks for watching!

Very true. Friends is a big word. I have a very hard time with small talk. If someone does not want to talk meaty important issues, i’d rather be alone.❤

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I hear you dezertroze! I know the feeling! Thanks!🌟

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

2 ай бұрын

U R so right about this word. Not too many people know the meaning of such a word because U have to B on perfect behavior.

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergalI love your Pod cast, intelligent, well talked,honest & no you’re not the only 1 having problems with your MoMster 😊✌️🦋

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

2 ай бұрын

Hi there,thanks for your quick reply, I like the fact that U liked what I said, U know we have to behave in a perfect way in today’s world! I,hope all is going well with U, I wanted to send U a quote about friends that I have held on to it goes like this. “A friend is someone who knows all about U& likes U anyway!Take Good care hope we can be friends 🤭✌️🦋

@MelissaCoup

2 ай бұрын

That's a big standard to have friends! I hope you never get lonely.

Being isolated is a bitch . So I understand . I committed a crime years ago , and that crime is following me for the rest of my life . Um , you’re a therapist ? I’m glad you can say you need a therapist too .

Hard to find someone you can really trust to be vulnerable with. In social activities, everyone is pretending hard to appear they are doing great. Hard to afford therapy, but I will look into it. ❤

You get used to being alone. Its better being alone than with people you want rid of. I like just talking to my cashiers at stores or people I run across while out.

Hi. I'm glad you're there to talk to us :) As for me, 63 years old, still working full-time... A few close friends and family members, but I'm always on the fringe; never center stage in anyone else's life, so there's not very often someone to confide in. I have Marketplace insurance with a mental health network of providers that's too small and not fit for me, and co-pays that are too high, so counseling is not an option, even though I need it desperately. I'm so lonely and emotionally fragile with lots of new and old inner wounds surfacing, and I'm breaking down in tears, even while driving. That's not like me; I'm the one who always holds it together for everyone else. Yet here I am :( Anyway, thanks for being here. You've been a comfort to me.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Kelly! I know what you mean about being on the fringe. Have you tried journaling; it might help. Glad you found the channel.

@raycortopassi4030

Ай бұрын

Most people I know are more interested in telling me their stories than in listening to mine. I end up being the listener.

@margoquintana2283

Ай бұрын

I can empathize. Same situation with my insurance. Even at that, the agency has no office in my locale to meet face to face, only online. I was assured mental health benefits for this Medicare Advantage Humana plan had zero copay. When I called the agency they assured me the licensed agent who sold me the plan was wrong. I also was billed $269 for HA knee injections. I called twice, and spoke to Humana benefits directly before I had them done, being assured by the agent and his supervisor I would pay only the $40 specialist fee. Supervisor assured me he was absolutely SURE of that.

I completely related to everything you said. It's incredibly hard to find the right person to confide in. Aside from the fact that a compassionate listener is needed, it also requires someone who truly understands what you're going through. When it comes to estrangement, especially, it's almost impossible to not be judged or misunderstood by someone who has not experienced it.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks LindyLou. Yes, judgment is the kiss of death in a friend or a therapist.

@ReginaCreates2

2 ай бұрын

🤗

@TedBates-sv8cf

2 ай бұрын

Lindy I understand. What I am thinking about is there are times we have more deep things we need to share, than anyone can carry. But yes a true friend is a special and precious jewel to have in your crown.

I go to a therapist. It was hard during lockdown because I prefer face to face. I think also there was a big before and after the pandemic. I ended up retiring, actually I was asked not to go back to work and certainly my age was a factor. So I lost my whole work environment, my colleagues, the routine of getting up to go to work and dressing up. Thank goodness for my therapist 🙏

@eldergal

19 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing alexandra! The pandemic changed so many things for people. Glad you have a therapist who helps. Take care!

I only speak to people whom are paid to do so😮 It's very strange. I'm developing hobbies and interests to occupy myself and I watch videos pertaining to my personal experiences. So thanks 😊

You are so right. The friend circle becomes smaller as you age especially for introverts. You are hitting a note that resonates with many of us. Thank you😊

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for watching Michelle!

I'm retired in Danbury, CT. My only sibling in CT died from Lewy Body dementia. My ex husband died in NYC, my elderly mother in NYC, A close male friend ,in Cali. I go yo the Senior Center and line dance and Zumba I spend alot of time alone ., and see a therapist once a wk. I have a sister in Austin TX, a brother in Wash State, and a daughter in LA. I've adjusted to being alone , but its very isolating. I'm on long waiting lists, for senior housing .

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing Sally! I know it is challenging.

I haven't spoken to anyone literally for 3 months now. I don't have the need to do so. That's just me. When I need to have an intelligent conversation, I just talk to myself. In All seriousness, I don't trust no one. They'll use it against you later.

I pray to Jesus when I need someone to talk to.

@77HeIsLove_woot

2 ай бұрын

Jesus really is listening. Listen for Him. He sends people too !!!

@shazza160

2 ай бұрын

No thanks.

@debishaw9355

Ай бұрын

@@77HeIsLove_woot , He sure does. I love having Him near me at all times.

@SCORPIO88848

Ай бұрын

PRAYING TOO JESUS IS THE BEST😊😊❤😂

@catz2505

Ай бұрын

Me too. I sit outside under the trees and talk to God. I feel closer to him out there and have none of the disturbances as being inside.

Over the past 15 years, cancer and a host of serious health issues have left me physically struggling to get through each day. I’m very lucky to have a wonderful, caring wife, but over time virtually every person in my life has peeled off. I’m very sociable, had a huge many dimensional social life, and many people have said I’m great to be around. What I’ve come to find is that virtually all people on a deep level - perhaps not consciously - simply don’t want to have a chronically ill, disabled person in their lives. Even my children find it too painful to see me no longer strong, active, and passionate, and slowly distance themselves. I stay very upbeat and rarely complain. I’ve sought counseling, 360˚ feedback, and so on. When I offer help or support in the spirit of building new relationships, I find no takers and no new friends. It just is what it is. I focus on finding even small things I can contribute, what little life purpose and growth I am able to, and little things that give each day even the slightest meaning or joy. What else can I do? Inner wisdom over helpless loneliness.🙏🏼🌿

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Marc! I am sorry you are going through serious health issues. I do think you make a good point about people not wanting to deal with others with chronic illness. Glad you choose to focus on what you can do, can contribute. Take care!

@doricetimko5403

Ай бұрын

I’m in similar circumstances yet doing it single. It’s not easy but I’m getting really good at finding those little (&large) joys each day. So grateful for our beautiful earth and the good souls that inhabit it.

@marcmckenzie5110

Ай бұрын

@@doricetimko5403 My heart goes out to people doing it alone. Until 2019, I had to pretty much do it alone - my wife taught elementary special education and left the house every day from 6:30 am and returned at 8:00 pm. She was desperately overworked, and had no time for food prep. I was unable to even warm things up, and meals on wheels were no help. But it was the loneliness that weighed most heavily. Blessings to you🙏🏼🌿

Maybe you could start a women’s sharing circle who are going through the same thing. In person or online? Just an idea. 😊

I don't have ANY real friends. I have acquaintances, but when you really want someone to talk to, like you said about deep things, I have absolutely NO ONE. Being lonely is one thing, but having no special friend to talk to is another. I did have a therapist at one time, and it went nowhere. And for health reasons, I can't drive, and I can't always Uber anywhere(it can get expensive). I cry alot, and that doesn't really help, but it seems the only way I can cope. And people that say "Suck it up" have no clue what it's really like to be alone.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Peggy! Not everyone needs someone to talk to about deep issues, but I know I miss that sometimes. Crying releases some of the sad feelings we have, so it is good to cry periodically. Take care!

Therapist: "Paid" to talk to a person who really isn't your friend. Pair up a young therapist with a senior ? A Democrat with a Republican ? A "Christian" with a non- christian or atheist ? etc... Therapist is always typing on computer and never looking at you ! Tele-health ? Yuck ! You finally get to the meat of the conversation and the therapist says "What are you going to do about it?" and then says " "Our time is up." and makes you an appointment maybe in two weeks for 40 minutes out of a 50 minute hour that you might get 30 minutes of time. LOL !

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I hear you Elaine - I know it isn't easy. I myself have had a couple of really good therapists in the past, but I know what you are saying here. The system is not ideal.

I'm between. 67, autistic. I have a child (42) who is wonderful but busy. I don't have that 'person to talk to'. Like a poster said before, a journal turns into a pity party. This is a problem for a lot of people. I completed a survey and spoke to someone (a psychologist?) who was seeking people's opinions on 'electronic companions', a kind of Alexa-friend, or robotic pet for people who have no-one. Ultimately, I agreed it might help, but it seemed incredibly sad to me that the way we are dealing with lonely elders is to design a machine they can pretend is a companion. One thing I've noticed is that I'm subscribing to KZread channels run by women my age - it's comforting to see 'us' online.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this advancedwatcher!

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

I am the same age and completely agree. It's is very sad that there are so many lonely people. But giving them fake friends is not the answer. I agree that it is incredibly sad.

Thanks so much. I believe that most young people don't have anybody to talk to either. For all the instantaneous messaging via social media, young people feel isolated, alone, dismissed, empty, bored, anxious. In other words, it's multi-generational and epidemic, not just among us "orphans".

I'm 64 and a widow. I used to be a very outgoing extrovert. Now I have no one to talk to. I spend 99% of my time alone. I saw a therapist for a month but my sessions were free through my employer EAP program. We hit it off very well! We have the same birthday! Now I have to find out if my insurance will cover more sessions. I can't really afford to pay out of pocket. I really struggle on the weekends. I pretty much stay in my bedroom all weekend. Nothing excites me, I didn't mention that although I was married for 32 years, I couldn't have children. That adds to the loneliness. I constantly compare myself to others. I have that real bad. I've been told more times than many that I'm an attractive woman, but I don't see it. I feel inadequate, and my self-esteem is low. I don't know what to do, hopefully I can get back into therapy.

@eldergal

20 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing Cynthia! I hope you can continue therapy, as it has seemed to help you. If you are indeed an extrovert, you may tend to struggle with loneliness more than some people. Work on building self-confidence from within and enjoy your own company. I know it isn't easy. Appreciate you watching!

Boy do I relate. I'm 64 and introverted. Great topic that needs more attention.

Even if you are married and have friends there are a lot of things I don’t talk about. So it’s not just single peeps

I'm 46 and i gave no one to talk to. Estranged from 2 of my children. Subscribed to your channel.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for watching and subscribing Yulia!

People see me as a listener, and dump thier urgent concerns on me ; they are not interested in listening and having a conversation with me . I never get included and am a magnet for narcissts . Apart ,with no friends or family at all ,I rely on very small interactions with people in passing. Now scared to try and fit in as most groups are mean and unfriendly, using an outsider to cement the group together and torment the newbie..

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your experience Jan! Some people are magnets for narcissists and others! I understand your reluctance to get to know new people.

@dtraveler3080

2 ай бұрын

There’s nothing like finding out while you’ve been at church to try and meet others, that the only reason they went out for monthly ‘birthday meals’ isn’t because it was fun, but because that was the only way they wanted you to socialize. With THEM, stupervised.And if you didn’t attend their church, they’d be at your door asking why, then refused to see or talk to you AT ALL because you quit attending and would attempt to talk about something outside the church’s thoughts! (I’m just talking about babbling about comedy shows here, nothing ‘racy’)😆And of course no one in the group was allowed to see you, either.Diabolical.😂😅 I find exercise and meditation groups or the y to be the most helpful.

@TedBates-sv8cf

2 ай бұрын

That is sad. I am thinking about that. You need a two way street relationship, but there are those who dump themselves on you and that is really not a friendship so much as a back pack you must carry around. We all need to be able to be weak with someone we can trust. There are times when I come before the Lord and I "smallify myself. I let out all the hot air that has held me up and come down and shrink before the greatest being in all eternity. I have the need to make myself of no account and then I can share with Him from my innermost being the depths of my heart. "Deep calls to Deep." He can handle all you have to unload. He can carry that and also everyone else. When you know Him then and only then have you got a Friend who like a bridge lays Himself down for you. When I am weak, it is only then that I am strong. The Lord found me after I suffered a severe breakdown at 19. I am 69 and I consider that to be a miracle. But I know time is short for the world but especially for me. What can I do in my final hour before I fly away and finally feast my little eyes on the Everlasting Dawn? It's not here for me. I am only passing through on a pilgrimage to another realm. I invite you to come along and fly away to His everlasting arms. I don't say this as a deception but the hope that God has placed within a little no one. God bless!

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

​@@dtraveler3080It's fantastic you meditate. I'm getting back to it. 😊

My bestfriend has terminal cancer and my parents are in their 80s..dad has beginning stages of Alzeimers. I just turned 50..so different compared to when I turned 40. The world can turn cold in a blink of an eye. 😢

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks Jennifer for your comment! The world indeed can be cold!😊🌟

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

It certainly can. My mom died 4-1/2 years ago and my sister (my only sibling) died suddenly six months later. They were the only ones that truly cared and that I could talk to. It is very difficult now.

@mihaelavoievidca6860

12 сағат бұрын

You didn’t think to get married you are not old there is so much men and women that want not to get old alone ❤

I'm 75 and the people that I was long-time close with have died and making new and deep friendships at this ageis nearly impossible.

@eldergal

23 күн бұрын

I know it's not easy. Take care Alexa!

No family, no friends. I pay someone to listen once per week which I have mixed feelings about… far too old, far too tired, to work on ‘it’ all. I live here in a three bedroom home in the burbs, sleep directly on the floor in a spare room… too tired to set my bed up. I simply ‘wait’ life out… and I only have myself to blame. Childhood trauma, age of three on… once I became an adult it was on me to address the problems, instead, I enjoyed the symptoms over acknowledging the problems and I’m paying for it today. And that’s okay. I’m okay.

@yuliaantonenkovolkovamd552

Ай бұрын

Yeah that's exactly what I'm doing: just waiting until life is over. Coping.

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

I'm doing the same thing - waiting it out.

@sea2sea2seevanlife92

Ай бұрын

@@Swist1213 It’s extremely difficult… It’s nearly 1:30 in the afternoon on a Saturday and here I lie on the floor… still. I’m here all the time. I’m tired. ‘Waiting life out’… there isn’t one single reason to be here and yet I won’t willingly un-alive myself. Not directly although an argument can be made it’s happening anyway due to years of inactivity, muscle atrophy, hopelessness, rot and despair. These take their toll. I believe people have an innate desire to be wanted, be of service, but even more so, to be remembered in some fashion. (Certainly the latter) It does bother me, and has for many years, I won’t be thought of by anyone when I am no longer here… Rarely, rarely stepping outside, it would take quite some time for my death to be noticed. I have animals, dogs and chickens… I know I should look to rehome them but aside from there being no energy to do so, I’m not interested in receiving the backlash by folks telling me how heartless I am if I were to post an ad. People like to judge, it has replaced baseball as our favorite pastime, little would anyone know, or even care, parting with my animals would be for their benefit… surely not mine. I am very tired…

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

@@sea2sea2seevanlife92 Despair really sums at where I'm at. What is the point anymore. It seemed like all of a sudden I was old and invisible and the people who truly cared about me were gone. I keep going to work because, if I didn't, I'd be doing exactly what you are doing. I'm past retirement age but I don't see an end to working. It gives me contact with other people and it's motivation for me to get up in the morning. But I don't kid myself that these people are either my friends or would even notice when I'm gone. But then, they have their own issues and priorities so how much can I expect.

@barbarayork3675

Ай бұрын

You sound very depressed and I know what this is like. ❤

Raised by a narcissist and her enabler (my dad) She wasn't there then or now tho she says she is. I'd rather talk to strangers than her.

trust is important to me. i try to make friends but get pushed away or aside. my cats my best friend.

This is almost funny...but not really.🙃 I just said out loud, to myself, yesterday, "I have no one I can really really talk to." Well, I do talk to my cat, but she just looks at me as if to say, "Sorry, there's nothing I can do."Appreciate your insight. Stay well.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

You too, Doris! Thanks!

I am a very sensitive person. During the years I have listened to a lots of people. When you need somebody to talk to they dont really care. They dont want to listen to you, so i dont burden anyone with my toughtd and feelings. Some people are incapable of deep conversation, most relationshipd are superficial on the level of "how are you*. When you get to our age, i am 74 these are facts, you are alone. Now, i understand my father, he lived to be 93 and complained that he has noone to talk to, all his fridnds died. Lots of us are in a same boat. That is life. Matter of fact, they think if you are alone and have no family, somehow it is your fault. Almost impossible to make new friends. i am a good person, giving, compassionate, still impossible. So, just keeping busy and have superficial comversations with neighbors, strangers. Congratulations for doing this channel, it takes a lots of courage an time. Thank you.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this ilona! I know what you mean about the lack of deep conversation - I don't get enough of that either. Thanks for watching!

@christineanderson4794

Күн бұрын

I can relate to everything you're saying, Ilona. Thanks for sharing.

It IS tough. I do have several good friends who will have deep exchanges with me, and talking things out is so very healing. Talking does not take away the pain, but softens it so that it is bearable I also have a therapist and insurance to pay for therapy, which is very helpful in putting things in boxes so that they are emotionally manageable. Prayer is extremely helpful. God bless you and thank you. Being alone can also cause great physical pain -- the body knows when it is not receiving human contact and this can cause physical pain.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this dayhikr! Bless you and thanks for watching!

Very insightful. I am down to my brother and my son. Life is boring and depressing. When my parents passed about 10 years ago, my life just deflated, and I have never recovered.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Mike! Keep moving forward and thanks for watching!

You’re certainly not the only one! As we age we have less opportunity to connect deeply. Friends die, move to be nearer family, get sick and become preoccupied with their own problems. Life can become very shallow. Thank you for sharing.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thank you jbridgehall!

66 yrs old widow. Tried going to a therapist and she was a young mother, couldn't connect with her. Besides I couldn't afford to continue anyway. My parents are here, however I refuse to burden them with my struggles with being alone. Have friends, however not someone willing to have deep conversations.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing Julie! Sometimes it isn't easy to find the right therapist!💜🌟

@cherylcalogero3330

2 ай бұрын

Your situation is exactly the same as mine. Thank You for commenting, at least now I know I’m not the only one.

@Chris-tg3qy

2 ай бұрын

I ran into a similar situation and then the next time, I specifically asked for someone that was the same sex and around the same age as me. That works much better. In general, I think young therapists are good with small children and older therapists are better for adults including young adults who need discipline. Therapist’s can decide what age groups they want to work with, so there is no reason we can’t do the same.

I know what you mean. I lost my best friend a few years ago, and she filled in for my mom, who was my best friend my whole life. I have felt so lonely since my best friend died. Yes, I made the effort to make new friends, but I just don't feel the same level of trust to be able to confide in them. Prayers are what gets me through the hard times.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

I hear you dclaet! Thanks for sharing!

I'm an introvert. But it would be nice to have someone to chat with. I am more a one on one person. I like to have one or two good friends. Currently there is no one in my life. I lean on my faith and Higher Source.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

It's wonderful you have your faith and higher source. That's a major blessing. As I was driving myself and my little dog Peanut today it flashed through my mind that everything I deal with is in reality a spiritual issue. Not an accidental occurrence. Still thinking of that on and off.

@Selah1141

Ай бұрын

@@maureenmannion6748 Everything little thing starts in the spiritual realm and manifests into the physical. Universal Law.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

@Selah1141 Ernest Holmes right.

I have never understood why people feel the need to talk to a therapist, but then I avoid any doctors visits unless necessary also, once a year and twice yearly dentist checkups. That being said, I am a democrat who retired to a red state and literally just keep my mouth shut these days. so yeah, no one to talk to really. A sister, a dog, a cat.

I have tried multiple times to use "therapy".. I found that for me.. it was very damaging. The one mental health clinic I went to would have a "group" meeting amongst themselves and discuss my sessions, along with other people's. This is what they did.. I felt violated, angry and very traumatized. they actually sent my records to court.. for a case I was dealing with. I had no idea that what I said in private to a "counselor" could become public.. be careful.. what what you say to who. I wont ever do that again. They are paid to listen to you. You are a job for them. Yeah I get it, they can care, thats the human side of it, but when the person you thought cared, really doesnt, it can be devasting, as it was for me. I took a long time for me to get over this. years later.. am not 100%.. perhaps I wont and that is what it is..

I'm a longer, I lost my husband about 11 months ago, all my family is gone, my late brother had a daughter, who doesn't want to hear about it. I have pictures of my family & she says why do I have all pictures of family sitting out, it keep s me grounded. I don't have any one except the Lord to talk to & a friend but she has health problems also. I have my dogs I love them dearly. I'm a animal lover . I don't like to travel, I like being at home. I'm 75 yrs old , I don't watch the news because it's all bad anymore, the world is in a mess, I can't trust people anymore, because it's all about money, and people don't want to hear about other peoples problems. the only places I go is wal Mart & church & sometimes watch my great niece & nephew . my dogs aren't social so I don't have people over, that's my story. I'm not interesting I'm boring in fact.

I had one great therapist in my life and had many who were not so great. I am in need of therapy right now but the last time I went to counseling the therapist spent my hour talking about her problems to me and then disguised it by using it to "teach me". I was in counseling for CPTSD and had reached a good level of learning about it when I met her. It had a negative impact on me and I have been hesitant to try and find someone else. Maybe it isn't time but I have a burning desire to understand my self and all the patterns that I relived in my life.

As a person with no family left, I am so very fortunate to still have one very dear friend. We live across the country from one another but we talk on the phone every, single day, up to three hours a day. She had no kids and her remaining immediate family member, her sister, is very neglectful of her, just as my grandson is very neglectful of me, so we are both pretty much alone in our respective states, altho she still has an aunt and one nephew who are good to her. I am grateful for her friendship and kindness every day. Beyond she and my dog, who else would even know I am alive?

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing Silversmoke! So glad you have such a good friend to talk with every day!

I've loss count of the number of topics you've covered that's been helpful to me, Allison. Just listening to you has been good therapy for me. I'm in my early 70s and I've met very few people, in my life, that have your pleasant tone and temperament. I always wish you happiness dear lady.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks so much Claude!

I have made a casual observation in life about the difference in certain people's need to talk about things. Some people hold very deep needs to communicate and share personal feelings about issues. Others are to a lesser degree this way. I think when people are in their golden years they are kind of forced into a situation where a review of life is inevitable. In times like these the pain and joy of reflecting will hopefully balance each other out and leave you feeling some contentment about your own personal life's journey. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Life isn't over until it's over. And even then it's not over. I am fairly certain that yours has quite a ways to go yet, Ms. Allison. So buckle up and suck it up Soldier. There are a lot of people who need your good advice for wading through the swamps life creates. You are definitely one of the brighter light bulbs in the box and you can shine a lot of light on a lot of problems for others. Age and brains and communication skills are definitely not your problems.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much John for your encouraging words here! Makes my day!

@John-rw2zf

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergal You are welcome.

@TedBates-sv8cf

2 ай бұрын

​@@eldergalthat doesn't mean that you don't have needs yourself. You are permitted to be human when no one is looking 🙂

About 2 years ago ,someone who was my best friend and a "sister from another mother " suddenly stopped talking to and communicate with me. I have asked her several times ,"why", "what did I do" and she refuses to give me an answer. We were friends for over 40 years . We had so many simular interests, crazy sense of humour and outlook on life and the world. I feel a deep sense of loss and sadness because she's no longer there in my life. There isn't anyone else in my environment I feel comfortable enough to talk about my inner feeling. I do feel "lost and alone" at this point in my life I don't belive I have the time,energy of motivation to endeavour to find someone else to share my intimate self with.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

Do you attend any functions? Church, Senior Center? The more you are out and about the better are your chances of connecting with people.

@jajones-ford2226

Ай бұрын

@@maureenmannion6748 Thank you for asking. No I don't. I keep pretty much to myself. I realise that isolating myself only aggrivates the situation, but I 'm not motivated enogh to break out of the corner I've painted myself into.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

So sorry that happened with your friend jajones! I had something similar happen with an old friend from high school. Don't lose hope.

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

@jajones-ford2226 I understand very well. I'm comfortable isolating. My little dogs needs get me out otherwise I wouldn't go out.

@jajones-ford2226

Ай бұрын

@@maureenmannion6748

I pray, but I also walk around the house talking to myself. I am becoming one of those little old ladies who go around mumbling to herself😄😄😄 I have trust issues with sharing with other people. So many people don't hold confidences. Yes, I can understand your point regarding overburdening someone.

I’m 73 & have developed chronic pain. I live alone, and basically have no family. I have a brother & nephew in town, but they really don’t seem to bother with me. It is very lonely. I go a few weeks without a phone call from friends

@mihaelavoievidca6860

12 сағат бұрын

Try to your local church and if you don’t drive they have transportation for you don’t stay there isolated please ❤

I'm in my late 20s, but I also struggle with similar things: there are days in which you don't feel well, and there are days in which you feel great. The thing is, finding someone to whom you can confide your deepest issues is difficult. Though I understand that you don't want to overwhelm people, I believe that deep conversations have to become more normalized. The alternative is to keep it as we all are, have shallow small-talk, and everyone feels frustrated. Yes, therapists help, but I'm a firm believer that this is NOT the way our society should advance. We all need strong and deep connections, and though it might be difficult at first to adapt to the changes, I believe it will lead to a better situation for everyone.

@eldergal

7 күн бұрын

I agree with you neon! We all need deep connections and conversation. I appreciate your comment and thanks for watching!

i recently started seeing a therapist because i have no one to talk to. I've only been twice so far but each time i left feeling a lot better. i am also going through a period of depression. i just lay here on the couch all day watching KZread. anyway, im learning that there's a lot of us out there. there should be some sort of club, a gathering of some sort, just for people like us. i remember my mom had a sewing club that met every Wednesday night at our house. seems like people were different back then. they sat on each other's porches in the evening, a neighbor would scratch on a screen door and have morning coffee and a chat with you. why is it not like that anymore? where is everybody?

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this Ginger - glad you've felt better after talking with a therapist. Times have definitely changed. Thanks for watching!

@Swist1213

Ай бұрын

Your mom probably already knew all the people in the sewing club (my mom was part of a poker club that rotated among people's houses). Her mother, old neighbors, and old friends were a part of it. No vetting process was needed. Nowadays, we are warned repeatedly not to tell people where we live - that everyone is a potential robber or murderer.

I had a situation I wanted some help with last year. I called some therapists and they wanted almost $100 for not even a full hour. Not on a senior income. Not with apartment rents so ridiculous. Not with inflation.Thank you for bringing up these problems that help us to know we're not alone in these problems. I've gone to a senior center but it was all about bingo, games, lots of smoking. None of that speaks to me. None of that resonates with me.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

I do know how frustrating it can be to get the right help (or to afford help). Thanks, Shona!

@margoquintana2283

Ай бұрын

Oh my Goodness. So that's what they do at Senior Centers? At 70 I thought to go to one once, because if you don't have family support or close friends, after retirement you can find yourself feeling like some sort of outcast! But I'm not lonely enough to play Bingo, deal with smokers or play games. Cards are the very worst . . Nah uh.

You can have many people in your life and still feel lonely and sad. Especially when you lose loved ones. And the world is becoming more and more of a nightmare. Life is getting harder and harder. And people just don’t want to connect anymore. The internet is a big factor of that.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

How true helsbels! Thanks for watching!

@playdohsrepublic3562

Ай бұрын

Totally agree. The guys who developed Facebook said it was meant to destroy the fabric of society. The ones who regretted it warned people to stay off of it. Why? Well that's a whole other rabbit hole. Social media is more like anti-social media. And public schools teach moral relativity and cause a wedge in the parent-child relationships in the most subtle ways. It's a sickening society and we have to resist it as best we can. Keep communicating face to face, in person. Not through technology.

Your video is right on.. These comments made below are helpful and I don't feel so alone, Thanks ya all!

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

Thanks for watching FantasySkyDuster!

Never entered My mind not having someone To communicate With living alone Dealing with the Changes with aging! Deal with it!! Tough call! How many people! ???

So many comments about loneliness. I'm in my mid -seventies, and live alone. I never feel lonely. When I had cancer I decided I wanted to reinvent my life to make the most of the time I have left. To get the most bang for my buck, would be a good way of putting it. Some how, I ended up with a Therapist at the Cancer Center, who was amazingly helpful. I like to write, so journaling is something I do naturally. At each appointment I would share some of my writing on a variety of topics including my cancer experience. After reading to her, she suddenly grasped the tissue box and started sobbing. When I asked what was wrong she told me she had just given a four hour lecture to her students about what I wrote about, how cancer is just a part of life, not separate from it, and I had said the same in less than ten minutes. At the end of our last session she shared that I had taught her more about cancer than any other patient, and that she would never forget me, because I had made her a better Therapist. Puzzled, I asked her how that could possibly be? She said it was because I had been so open. I thought everyone was, but she said that was not the case. I now have no fear of cancer recurrence and am able to live life in keeping with my values. So, the work we did together, was highly benefitial and worthwhile, far more than I expected. I doubt a friend would have been about to steer me in the right direction when a complex disease was involved, most people have no understanding of how brutal treatment can be, or the life changing impact of Radiation Disease. Though such challenges still impact my life from time to time, and I went on to have an Interstim Implant and other bladder treatments, I have learned to cope and adjust to accommodate physical difficulties. I'd say Dr. Julia made a big impact on my life, and for that I am grateful. I did not have to pay for these sessions, because it was considered part of cancer care at the University. I hope this helps some of your viewers. Rather than being shameful, to seek professional help, I see it as an intelligent move, one that can offer a direct solution in the quickest amount of time, albeit requires a certain amount of study and mental effort.

@eldergal

2 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing this sjordan! So glad your health has improved and it sounds like you learned so much in the process. Thanks for watching!

Sometimes we have trouble talking to our spouse due to their being judgemental too. Councilor is a good idea and I have used them myself.

I work as an online English tutor helping foreign people from many different countries and some who have moved to the United States to improve their English. I have been doing this work for six years, and something I have learned is just how important it is to listen when others are talking. Although I definitely help my clients to improve their English skills, another HUGE aspect of the work is just listening to everything they want to tell me when we meet a few times a week, and really building a relationship. Listening with care and attention is a powerful gift we can give to each other, and I am so happy to be able to provide that.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Well said, gloriousnose! Thanks for watching!

@sylviaguenther-zc9lg

2 ай бұрын

Hi there gloriousnose,(u should be glorious heart)u said it listening is such a kind gesture of love, don’t change✌️🦋

@maureenmannion6748

Ай бұрын

You are helping in more ways than teaching English. Thank you for all you do.

We all need meaningful communication with someone else. That is how we are made. The Bible says that we are created in God's image after His likeness, in His image (Genesis 1:26-27). There is one God but in three persons. As God is a relational God being created in His likeness means that we really need meaningful communication with someone else. You are right. It is not easy to become isolated. While I don't have all the answers, I have developed a personal relationship with the Lord. Still we need others although we cannot find what we need in someone else, anyone and everyone will let you down. Jesus said, "I will never leave you or forsake" (Hebrews 13:5). Although I don't always relish isolation, it's in those times I found that I am not alone.

Im your age and live alone and dont socialize outside work….i talk to my dog alot…shes probably sick of hearing me… I enjoy living alone actually…i have kids but we have a strained relationship so i dont hear from them and one isnt speaking to me… No one is there for me…im there for myself….and its ok..im use to it and it doesnt bother me….when i work i talk to my co workers but its just regular stuff..nothing personal … The thing that bothers me is i keep getting older….so who knows where ill be down the years to come…i love my solitude though….

@catz2505

2 ай бұрын

I use to talk to my co-workers too, but now I retired and have noone.

@heathkinn

Ай бұрын

@@catz2505 im sure that will happen to me once im totally retired…im sorry…i know how you feel….

🤣🤣🤣🤣I find talking to myself is enough 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@carmenbarroso5332

8 күн бұрын

Y nadie te lleva la contraria 😂😂😂

You are not alone … I can definitely relate

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks reginan!

@ReginaCreates2

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergal ♥ ♥ ♥

Elder Gal, I found you today. Sending you love and positive energy from Alberta, Canada.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thank you Connie in Alberta! Positive energy back at you!

I use to have basically 2 people. A friend who was spiritual but has mentally and emotionally changed and became withdrawn. My half sister, for about 25 years, but she died over 10 years ago. I found talking with the man who was a years long live in boyfriend to the grandmother of my home care patient, that we really clicked in our interests. It was really funny, we almost always got in long conversations instantly about something we were into that no one around us understood. When family members were around, there were some confused looks at times. Sometimes you can just start talking with someone, and that connection just happens, you find a soul mate, someone on the same path.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing that Valerie - glad you made that connection!

I’m in a situation where I have the most people I've ever had in my life at one time, but nobody to talk to about what is happening in my life. I have only God. I was happier when it was just me.

@user-zj1wn8eu2q

Ай бұрын

That is interesting. I would call those people around acquaintances or the personalities are so different to you that real conversations doesn't take place. I am no psychologist but sometimes it is also the approach in my opinion. I have the tendency to be more serious in my approach, I want to talk now about certain topics and if I have the impression that the one I am talking to is not paying full attention then I am kind of pissed off. So what I want to say is that I want to talk about things my way and I guess that does not work out always, that is not the right approach to conversation maybe...😮

My dad was that person to me but I lost him 8 years ago. Then I was fortunate to find someone who was like a therapist, mentor and life coach and knew me so well and supported me completely. When she took her own life 3 months ago I was devastated and I’m experiencing true mourning for the first time. It’s like a part of you is gone. I have people but not like her. I’m depressed and I do find myself thinking about my own end of life and death a lot and I’m only 58. I’ve got to figure out how to turn this ship around but first I may need to keep going through some dark waters…

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

So sorry you suffered this loss Jen! I hope you can find some help to get through this. Don't lose hope.

@mihaelavoievidca6860

12 сағат бұрын

Lord Jesus Christ it’s the best friend for me He listen understand forgive love don’t get never so attached to human being we all die one day i personally want to spend my eternity with Lord Jesus because we are best friend even here on earth ❤

you're talking about stuff that I've been thinking about. 🖖

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Thanks IamNow!

If you are ever interested in hanging out your shingle... you would get a lot of clients online....you are the best councillor that I have seen in years....most of them look bored and are watching the clock ! Personally I have not needed any help for a long time, I deal with everything myself...but as you say, it,s healthy to share with someone who is detached from your environment....small village gossip is not my thing..!!! Just love your channel and | learn so much from you !! Thx

@eldergal

26 күн бұрын

Nice of you to say that carolb! Thanks so much for watching!

I find that most people are not emotionally equipped to handle real personal problems of their friends

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

I think there is some truth to that Susie! Thanks!

My grief therapist couldn’t remember my name or the name of my late husband after more than six months of intensive therapy. He never took notes…just took my money. Of course I quit going. What a turd.

@eldergal

Ай бұрын

That's horrible Kathryn! I worked as a grief counselor through a nonprofit hospice and people did not have to pay anything. So sorry you had this experience.

My wills and trusts professor in law school said youre never old and lonely if you're old and rich.My parents were rich and they were alwsys going to parties and had lots of friends .

I talk to my cats. I have a favorite neighbor I like to talk to. I absolutely adore Phyllis. In our family we would have what they called a Dutch relative. I don’t know where the term came from they never said, but it’s when a person you’re fond of is treated like blood. We had a doctor friend and he was my Dutch uncle which confused me at first as dad’s brother was my real uncle and then the term was explained. Maybe it was just in my family with the Dutch relative thing. Made up or real it serves. A friend treated like family considered blood is a Dutch relative. When Dr. Brooks died I was really broken up. Phyllis is my ‘adopted’ Dutch grandmother and she was thrilled when I told her. I have a ‘relative’ I actually love. Phyllis is Black. I don’t care! She’s my grandma! And I love her to pieces and I told her and she said she loves me too. I can talk to her about anything. And it helps a lot. When I get into depressions don’t much care about anything but my cats and Phyllis and she asked if I cared about her and I said yes. And just her acknowledgment that I have depressions, but am still loved my depression disappeared. I hope others can find a neighbor or friend, become close to them, consider them as a Dutch relative, treated and considered as a blood relative and loved as a substitute family member. It helps the mental stuff when your real family doesn’t give a crap about you. Without Phyllis I’d be crushed. I love her so much.

@eldergal

2 ай бұрын

Lisa - yes, I remember that term too - Dutch uncle or aunt.

@lisanidog8178

2 ай бұрын

@@eldergal that’s great! Good to know it wasn’t just made up by my parents. It’s a real thing.