You can't know everything about someone, because they are changing and evolving everyday. Thank you very much, you're the better.

@davidg1396

6 ай бұрын

And so are you, at the same time!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

That's it, right there! Thank you!

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 04:00 🤔 *When you unintentionally offend someone, resist shock and accept the inevitability of offense. Understand what made it offensive and work to reduce the likelihood of repeating it.* 06:30 🧠 *Accept the inevitability of ignorance. Instead of justifying lack of knowledge, use it as an opportunity to reduce ignorance, increase knowledge, and avoid future offenses.* 08:31 🤝 *Embrace the inevitability of misunderstanding in relationships. Resist defensive reactions; consider if you've reminded someone of a past hurt, and reassure them that you are not the threat they fear you to be.* 10:51 💬 *When reassuring a hurt person, verbal acknowledgement is crucial, but it should be followed by meaningful behavioral change. Demonstrate commitment through actions, making the future better than their hurtful past.*

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for the confirmation that these key takeaways were clearly communicated. I hope they resonate with all who listen!!!

Beyond the great insights provided by Mr. Fisher, I am very impressed by his style of presentation. Engaging, evocative and captivating!

@Natalie-zk3qd

6 ай бұрын

I was going to say the same - very engaging! I feel like I would listen to him teach me anything, and I really can't recall ever thinking that about anyone. Elocution, pace, style, just really quite perfect. What a gift.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

The topic of this talk is extremely important in today’s world and I really appreciate Lambers commitment to it from a perspective of empathy. That commitment is so clear through the careful writing and superb delivery of this talk. I don’t know if you will ever see this but I just want to say bloody well done. You make the delivery of a Tedtalk like this look seamless, effortless. This is truly a masterclass in oratory skills and your advice on the subject is beautiful, universally applicable and will make the world a better place with every individual who takes the time to listen to and truly comprehend what you have said. Just wow. 👏👏👏👏

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for this encouragement. It is great to hear that the delivery not only only didn't takeaway from the message, but it enhanced it as well. Even though it's only a few minutes of time, I hope it indeed does contribute to the overall goal of healthier interactions everywhere!!!

this is one of the better Ted talks I've seen in recent memory

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Mr. Fisher, could you pleaae do a talk on how we can reconcile with our fellow citizens in such a polarized time as ours?

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

I do appreciate the opportunities I have had to train and equip leaders in education, politics, and law enforcement to accomplish just that. We'll see if the opportunity arises for me to do such on a broader scale. Thanks for the encouragement! 😊

Some people know they lack knowledge but rather assume instead

@ribbrascal

6 ай бұрын

Wth does that mean? lol

Amazing, simply amazing, I have never had to replay a TedTalk so many times, value in every line

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

That is awesome to hear! Thanks!😊

I love this so much!!! No one will ever be perfect nor will they get along with everyone but I think it is incredibly valuable to really SEE each other and be emotionally invested in each other's wellbeing. It is always easy to accuse people of being too sensitive or paranoid, but far too few people are willing to look at themselves and ask why they aren't willing to care for these sensitivities and understand the paranoia.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Although far too uncommon, I am hopeful that a new trend of honest self-reflection (without shame and self-depreciation) is possible! It starts one positive interaction at a time! Thanks!

Straight outta Minneapolis. This brother knows. His temperament and emotional cadence represents how most of are raised in the cities.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Wow, Lambers that was beautifully, concise, and meaningfully presented information that anyone can use to change their own personal response to the common context of offense. Good to see you on TedX!!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Awesome content + impactful delivery (sounds like spoken poetry to me) = Top notch output! Thank you Mr Fisher!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

This was great!!! I will share this with love ones👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

This is so good, Lambers! Cheering you on, my friend. Your message is going to help many!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks, Terry! 😁

This is excellent, thank you !

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Well done such a great topic and delivery!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks, Zinet! 😁

01:13 🌐 Living in fear of unintentional offenses hinders positive interactions; there's a need for a different approach. 03:30 🔄 Inevitability of offense: Understanding that everyone, at some point, will offend others due to subjective interpretations. 06:38 🤔 Embracing ignorance: Acknowledging that no one knows everything, fostering a continuous learning mindset. 09:31 🔄 Inevitability of misunderstanding: Accepting that even with good intentions, miscommunication may occur. 11:12 🤝 Reassurance matters: Reassuring hurt individuals requires acknowledging limitations, verbal assurance, and meaningful behavioral change. 12:00 🚫 Living without fear: Accept the inevitability of offense, make efforts to reduce frequency, and strengthen relationships.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

You've got the essence right there! Thank you! 😊

Bravo 👏🏽 Thank you 🙏🏼 Great job. I’m glad I got to listen to your wise advice words of wisdom. Gracias 🙏🏼

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

*Thank You* Mr. Fisher - Great mission and lovely voice!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Magnificent- this is really powerful. Can you do the same for the person who has been offended? How can someone navigate that and discover if the offense was unintentional and trust csn be rebuilt? I have no idea how anyone could create that and much less how someone could communicate it. But you managed to navigate this topic that I didn’t think could be done.

Great talk!

Very educative. Thank you

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Way to go, Lambers!!

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks, Cara! 😁

Amazing information, this is such helpful information. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience.

That was so good. So insightful and straight to the point. Does he have a youtube channel? I would subscribe immediately to his relationship channel or podcast.

Amen 🙏 Thank you 😊

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

You can’t know everything about someone because they are changing and evolving everyday, and so are you, there is work involved to be able to understand each other and work together to know this new person you didn’t know before when the walls come down between each other you can get to know each other

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Excellent Takeaway! 😊

Amazing concept

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

If I offend someone in my work, I tell them that I have a complaint department, it takes complaints very seriously, and it is ran by a woman named Helen Waite, so I ask them to please go to Helen Waite.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your go-to strategy. Glad I could offer an alternative to add to your tool box alongside it!😊

Awesome!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

This is video is wonderfully aligned with DBT principle of dialectical thinking.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! & Exactly!!! 😉

This was really insightful👏

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

@Negentropy.

6 ай бұрын

@@lambersfishermft definitely looked up you other videos and material too.👍👍 Thank You! & God Bless You

It kind of extenuating circumstance depends upon the topic and the subsequent stance and opinion found therein.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Absolutely! Every response must be personalized to the circumstance. This merely provides a guiding principle to build upon and customize as needed.

❤️☀️🌙thank you

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thank you! 😊

Getting offended is a choice.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Indeed it can be, and yet there are many who feel like it's unavoidable. I hope this message can reduce the need for both.

1/16/24

Sounds smooth and well spoken but while this talk delved into possible causes of offenses ,I don't feel like I came out with a lot of concrete advice about" what to do when you offend someone ,".

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for the feedback. I have found that while not specific to certain circumstances, these principles have the potential to significantly impact personal and professional relationships in a variety of circumstances, laying the foundation for relationship repair that would indeed be more specific, concrete, and lasting over time.

I offend a lot of people and straight up don't care.

You’re either playing offense or defense.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

In many ways, yes. But hopefully, we can be playing on the same team with a shared healthy goal -- or at least with a mutual respect for our opponent.

🍿

Are you offended because it's true OR are you offended because it's not true?

@stephanguitar9778

6 ай бұрын

Usually both😅

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

Interestingly, I find that it's not until one's offense is acknowledged and addressed that the answer to this question can be freely given. True or not true, it's in both parties' interest to offer reassurance of shared value.

Only in America 🙄

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

I can honestly say that I once thought that as well, but having had the pleasure of international professionals attend my virtual trainings, I have learned that these struggles abound in other countries as well. Relationships require work everywhere! 😊

Nobody offends anybody; people choose offense, usually because they've heard something true that goes against their narrative and/or belief system.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

While there are unfortunately many people who do indeed choose offense, there are many who don't want to be offended but don't know how to avoid it. This message will hopefully help reduce the amount of offensive circumstances that need to be avoided at all.

@RealIllumin

6 ай бұрын

@@lambersfishermft If one does not want to be offended, then choose not to be. Ask questions, enter into a dialogue, have a conversation about the subject. This is the way adults do it normally.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

​@@RealIllumin I very much like all of those strategies. I also know that for many, the instantaneous intense feeling of the need to protect oneself from a perceived threat often gets in the way of (or at least delays) the use of these great skills. If we all learn how to reduce that instant response (which often has devastating consequences), then we can indeed get to that shared healthy dialogue of which you speak. Unfortunately, it's not normal or common for everyone... yet. But I believe it can be!

Folks know me they been told what to think about me Those folk get f'd

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

I appreciate your honest self-awareness!

I generally laugh when people are offended by me.

This is all elementary.

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

For many it is. And yet many others have not had the pleasure of these principles being modeled for them as they have been for you. With your head start, I hope you're able to set a great example for those around you to follow. 😊

The yapping is crazy

Jordan Peterson aproves this Ted

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

I am grateful that this message can benefit anyone and strengthen relationships no matter our backgrounds, views, and beliefs 😊

TRUMPISM Rx? I wonder if this great idea might help us to overcome Trumpism Talking to Trumpsters may seem impossible, and this barrier may lead to Trump 2. (Perhaps Lambers can encourage Democrats to search for Trumpism solutions, now>

@harrypearle9781

6 ай бұрын

TNX MCH

@lambersfishermft

6 ай бұрын

No matter our political leanings, healthy interactions and decision-making across-the-aisle can only occur when we all learn to own our preferences and needs, accept that others may have differing needs, and learn to communicate them in ways that show consideration for the wellbeing of everyone, rather than a select few.