I love how much narcissists are being exposed, it warms my heart.

@marilynmonheaux6356

3 ай бұрын

It’s like a warm cup of cocoa

@staceystrukel1917

3 ай бұрын

Mine too

@ShiftingCloudsYT

3 ай бұрын

Unfortunately, it’s not enough. Many people need to self-heal to really render the narc. powerless. In fact, that’s why I think narcs enter ppls lives- they sense a weakness. Low self esteem, lack of confidence, any kind of vulnerability and they exploit them. So, to really hit them where it hurts - be your authentic, unapologetic self. Completely, thoroughly, and wholeheartedly.

@kirabarsmith9353

3 ай бұрын

@@ShiftingCloudsYT When I grew up barely anyone knew about this subject at all, the tables have turned in a major way. Knowledge IS power.

@ShiftingCloudsYT

3 ай бұрын

@@kirabarsmith9353 I def agree on that note. It’s just that they are major manipulators, liars, and dishonest ppl. Knowing what they are isn’t enough against them and many of us need to heal. Thats the true essence of power. Something they absolutely have no control over - your own healing. I do agree about knowing tho.

Go no contact and never look back

@toondemaere3080

2 ай бұрын

Yeah exactly that's the only think that seems to do anything.

@SacrificedSin87

2 ай бұрын

My ex did all of this. He tried to get me to go back saying that no one else would love someone who was “damaged goods” and even tried to make me feel like my relationship with my current partner would never work, saying we would only end up splitting up within 6 months (it’s been 12 YEARS). He still tries to manipulate the narrative, saying that I ruined his life and it’s my fault that he’s still living with his father and hasn’t moved on. I’ve had no contact with him for 11+ years. I’ve been able to rebuild my life since then, because I stayed strong with no contact.

@Real2k25

2 ай бұрын

@@SacrificedSin87 bless up

@LuminesBreezer--

Ай бұрын

When being told that the first time by a friend, how much sense it made added up; as I currently just. .don't see futuristic progress in a decent livelihood and constantly deem that want of a future to be something wishful. A consuming feeling of guilt is a definite, but the knowledge of who I am already, as mentioned earlier feels so wishful.

@iAmNothingness

Ай бұрын

Block block block.

At the first sign of toxicity just walk away…do it before you’re too attached

@Realrap2727

2 ай бұрын

🎯

@mrbriankeith111

2 ай бұрын

Going forward yes. I had no idea what I was dealing with then

@palapalak.8907

2 ай бұрын

FACT.

@OneManJam

2 ай бұрын

I saw red flags right from the beginning. Now I'm 3 years in on this hell. Recently caught her trying to sneak off to Mexico with a "good guy friend" of hers. She saw nothing wrong with it. These people are emotional terrorists.

@cindym5896

2 ай бұрын

Difficult lifelessons unfort.. but yesss its t truth!

Don’t stay friends with your narcissistic ex, it’s a way to future manipulate you. Stay no contact.

@clintonnagy1662

2 ай бұрын

Amen. My ex narc wanted to make me " the friend ". I walked away. Nope. Not gonna happen. Total insanity.

@rickyspanish1173

2 ай бұрын

ex actly what i told my ex when she wanted to stay friends but was breaking up with me for not getting help soon enough... if im a NPD then why would you be my friend? lol

@edvails1539

2 ай бұрын

My ex wanted to date me and her new partner while she figured things out. Wasn't as thrilled when I got a lawyer. You can't be friends with them. They will try and destroy you with their false happiness in their new relationship and keep you as the backup.

@TyStar10

2 ай бұрын

Agreed!

@clintonnagy1662

2 ай бұрын

I agree. They need narcisstic supply and they want to make you that when others fail them. My ex narc called me her " friend " when I was regularly sleeping with her. That's a clear sign she doesn't respect me as having something serious. I dumped her and moved on. No need for nonsense anymore.

Hoovered 4 times in the last month and I didn’t respond 😎💪

@ceyciemateo9411

3 ай бұрын

Congrats!!!!

@സത്യഭാമകൃഷ്ണൻ108

3 ай бұрын

Proud of you 😊

@Meggiebeth19

3 ай бұрын

Awesome!! Second chances do not work. It’s a repeat of all the original narc abuse you experienced.

@Spartan-Of-Truth

3 ай бұрын

Same once this month!

@JohnADuerk

3 ай бұрын

Don't let 'em grind you down.

All these videos claim if you ignore them it attracts them… my experience is that they just give up and abuse someone else.

@honey-feeney9800

3 ай бұрын

Why want the narc back ?..

@LiliaSiljeving

3 ай бұрын

Eventually yes, they do. It depends how attached they are to you. /relationship coach

@foreverarebel

3 ай бұрын

Mine gave up when he realized my purse was closed

@marilynmonheaux6356

3 ай бұрын

That is a blessing if they don’t Hoover.

@Gemmarose9012

3 ай бұрын

Are you disappointed? Because it’s not a game to try to get them to come back. No contact is done because you don’t want them back.

It's a spiritual battle and the narc is there to kill your essence and eliminate your light for good. It was HELL being in it. Luckily I am not the most patient person and don't put up with bullshit for too long. Great video

@BibaMari

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for saying this. ❤

@krillin6

2 ай бұрын

Now if only 'spiritual' meant something.

@theconsciousearthangel

2 ай бұрын

@@krillin6 that's right. It means absolutely nothing when you don't have the eyes to see.

@InOdoremSuavitatis

2 ай бұрын

@@theconsciousearthangel Hence why these people will fall pray to the Jezebel / Narcissist system. And in their turn become one to gaslight you that the spiritual realm doesn't exist. Because the moment you understand that God exists and that you are a a soul / spirit at the root of your core, created in God His image... then the game is up once you start walking and growing in that identity.

@theconsciousearthangel

2 ай бұрын

@@InOdoremSuavitatis you said it. Yes! 100 %....

I like this graphic because it shows you that it’s all a game for them. The objective for them is to win.

@Sherree57

2 ай бұрын

Sad part is they won't. God is in control and this is his world not theirs

@Rom8.9_8.14

Ай бұрын

To win. From a demonic perspective that means you have lost something. Be they earthly rewards, because "narcissists" attempt to get us to curse ourselves by speaking against ourselves and our blessings, as the devil knows what is soon to come our way. I believe that is one reason why God's word tells us to be slow to speak (James 1:19,20) and also in Ps 39:1 I said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a bridle while the wicked is before me. The more I slow down and reflect on things, the more I see (usually in hindsight) how the devil's crowd has been extremely deceitful and tricky in getting me to say (or attempting to get me to say) certain things. When I see that this has happened, I say to God, you know what my understanding was when I said that (or how I meant it); I renounce what I previously spoke (if need be) and loose (in the bind and loose sense) what needs to be loosed or should have been said. I am then better prepared for when it comes up again, to recognise it, to speak better in response, and possibly to even bind the enemy in that moment (if need be), whether out loud, or in my spirit, depending on circumstances and discernment. Or even say the Lord rebuke you (when necessary, due to circumstances or the persistent rebellion, opposition & resistance to truth/God's word being spoken) and as we are not to strive with others. Also I renounce what the enemy has attempted to saddle me with (when I recognise it, whether in the moment or in hindsight). I bind the strongman as well (spiritually speaking). Or be they heavenly rewards lost, as in all the time lost trying to convince "narcissists" of something that they had no (seemingly) intention of "understanding" as they intended to mislead us, cause us loss, harm, etc. Because for all the time spent messing with them, we could have been sowing into good soil elsewhere, working towards the salvation of others, for ensample. Prov 5 gives some understanding in this. Or be the loss eternal, as in being misled by them we never came to a knowledge of the truth to the performance of God's will (see Mt 7:15-21). And that is definitely no game. Devil knows that.

@JustinEthnostate

Ай бұрын

Yep. And you're the competition. Even if you're the one supporting them. There's no happy ending and there's no way to 'beat' these people. Because they are far too self-obsessed for you to compete with. Just cut your losses and move on folks. You won't regret it.

I didn't even know what NPD is when I was with her. 8 years wasted. Cheated on, abused, devalued and then Discarded like trash.

@Orquet-qj2nf

3 ай бұрын

Sounds familiar. 😔

@nowarbaby1013

3 ай бұрын

Yep, I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that my 8 year relationship was nothing but a waste of time. He knew from day 1 he was emotionally unavailable but because I gave him everything he wanted, I was kept for his own selfish needs to be met. While I got nothing in return. I knew when he'd done something wrong like talk shit about me to his flying monkey because I got given a candle. 24 candles in 8 months towards the end was my cue to end it. The mask slipped, I seen straight through him and when he realised I had it shattered him. 5 months out I'm dealing with a trauma bond and trying to grieve a relationship that didn't really exist. I've never felt so broken, worthless and ashamed in my life and I hate what's he's done to me.

@weneedtodobetter2555

3 ай бұрын

Sorry. I’ve been exactly where you are😊

@mishaanton5436

3 ай бұрын

​@@nowarbaby1013It's so difficult. The feeling bad part. It definently can get better. It will. Feel it grieve it....starr doing anything for you. Cook a nice meal, take a walk. Anyway to give to yourself. The insidious thing now to me is that from day 1 I had at least 2 decades of all healthynfriends and growth. Many years of good friends and alternate reality. I thought he was fos, wierd. And yet became entangled to where I wanted him to see me differently. That was the trap. Who cares what 1 anomaly is? It's one opinion from someone you knew didn't see you. Found out that that trap is the binding. The trauma bond winding it's way around you. I honestly believe that without good friends before and *most importantly knowing God and asking fir His help through it, knowing I'd get it. I wouldn't have been able to endure it. I wouldn't have untangled. Yes, it was the worst I ever felt treated and the worst I felt about me. Foolish. So go be good ro yourselves. Oh, I enjoy a doc on UT named Les Carter: Surviving Narcissism. He explains and isn't triggering when he speaks truth about it. Very healing.

@Kabong7256

3 ай бұрын

Same here. 7 years and it was Hell. Still healing but glad it's over.

After a 5 year relationship my narcissist GF discarded me with a 10 second phone call, completely out of the blue. So, two years later she literally tried to hoover me, by acting like nothing had happened, she just attempted to pick up our relationship like she had never ended it. I have to say that in its self was somewhat shocking. It really highlighted the mental gap these people deal with, the lack of feelings, the lack of connection to reality. I make sure my doors are locked now when the sun goes down. Yes, I am serious.

@BElivinginChrist

2 ай бұрын

that is a witch......... be on guard brother ...

@palapalak.8907

2 ай бұрын

Nuts for sure.

@walterverheyen1263

2 ай бұрын

I just got rid of mine. I was hoping for a couple of weeks since we were together for 8 months. I am done with her, but 2 years. I am even more scared now.

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

Nick, please read my comment. By the way you write, you might want to agree with me, no matter how far out and bizarre what I write about is! These people are not normal humans, and it may be that they cannot help the way they are. Like, we would never hold it against an animal for not displaying empathy, and it may be these narc individuals have been robbed of that asset before they were even born! There is a reason for their unhuman-like behavior. The prisons are filled with narcissists and there are probably a huge number that should be there also! Just read my comment...it's a bit long, but it may give you a different take on these abnormal individuals...who might just not be able to help the way they are. They do admit to not experiencing any feelings of love or compassion, and only mimic these emotions when they realize they are expected. Plus, they actually believe ALL people are the same as themselves, and they can never be helped or changed. Maybe there should be a national registry where these individuals are listed, to help protect normal people from their abuse, as we identify child molesters for life. Also, I wonder what happens when two of these narcissists get together...that has to be something for the annals for sure! Keep trekking...into the mystic. kristi

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

Nick...my comment is found somewhere else in this long list of comments and I hope you are able to find it! kristi

Narcissist is the EXTREME end of avoidant attachment. As if plain old avoidant attached folk weren’t hell enough on their own. But at least they have a heart. They just struggle to give you access to it. With the narc, the demon has fully taken over and there is no heart to speak of.

@ceyciemateo9411

3 ай бұрын

Not true. How are they an avoidant if they’re all of three tactics to get you back? Avoidants enjoy you being away. Stop spreading lies

@Miss_Soular_Supernova

3 ай бұрын

The accuracy to this statement 💯

@archonofvoid

3 ай бұрын

@@Miss_Soular_Supernova avoidance is just a trait of the narcissist, they are completely different things.

@FreshStart2024-qg8zm

3 ай бұрын

I hoped he was avoidant.... i kept telling myself 'he's just avoidant.' he's not a bad person he does love me and just struggles. But the narcissim shows when friends tell you things they've been doing behind the scenes in a very thought out way to make them look the victim and you look uncaring/ crazy. That's when it turns narcissist. To me. When to his family and friends you are crazy and he is a saint and it's all been very planned out and you end up totally alone wondering why when all you did was everything for them.

@nowarbaby1013

3 ай бұрын

Avoidants choose to be selfish and run instead of taking accountability or communicating. It's a choice not to become self aware or learn emotional intelligence. Grown ass adults can't blame their childhood trauma without trying to learn how to cope with it. They have an excuse for everything and nothing is ever their fault. They need to grow up if they want to play with the adults.

I am so glad that people are learning more about narcissists, they will destroy you if you are vulnerable.

@m998hmmwv7

2 күн бұрын

If you let them

If you go no contact, go completely no contact. Block the narc from your phone-email-if they show up ignore them. Do not communicate w/them.

@echol8087

28 күн бұрын

This! Not just that. Unfollow / unfriend them. Install an app to block their social media profile, etc. That way they can't hoover you without contacting you, but just by you visiting their social media page. When you block them, it means you also block them from your life everywhere. Use self control to not look at social media, ask their friends about them, etc.

@mdmcpherson8574

26 күн бұрын

100%

@user-lb3kh7rv1z

10 күн бұрын

Then they start the smear campaign that youre being cruel to them 😂. They always shift the blame when they realized they messed up

@irisred7238

7 күн бұрын

I even blocked them on Spotify

@user-lb3kh7rv1z

7 күн бұрын

@@irisred7238 Didn't even think about that. Thank you

91 days of NO Contact! I left him after he cheated on me the second time. I was done ✔️ I am so happy right now. I love me so much more. You can do it. NO CONTACT WORKS!!! GOOD LUCK 👍

@CosmicQuixotic

3 ай бұрын

Yessss❤❤

@sharonleerosenhahn1966

3 ай бұрын

How did you know or find out he was cheating

@mortischahicks5341

3 ай бұрын

I met on a dating app. The same one he cheated on me with.

@mortischahicks5341

2 ай бұрын

No! Over 100 days of NOContact!

@Jessica1144

Ай бұрын

Struggling with no contact right now. I want to pick up his obsessive calls etc because a part of me misses it even though I know I went through hell. How do you get over that stage ?

RUN. IT"S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THE ABUSE. DON'T LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE! JUST DON'T.

I went no contract and served him divorce papers. But he did not sign them. He still has no idea were I'm at.

@toystory922

2 ай бұрын

He doesn't have to for a Judge to grant you divorce. Even if he doesn't show up in court, it would still be granted. Judges see and deal with this all the time. . . 😂

@lynnh4786

2 ай бұрын

Amen good for you ❤

@Doveandson

Ай бұрын

Same situation 🙏

@Lone_Star86

26 күн бұрын

Me too

This animated visual was genius. Their life is a complete circle, never ending cycle of insainity!

My narc made a comment early on, saying he feels like he plays a character each day. WTF!!! Who the hell says that!?!?

@latashakendrick9709

3 ай бұрын

😈

@user-zk7di8yi6o

3 ай бұрын

That's right, he is empty inside

@bluesky2648

3 ай бұрын

Heard something similar from the narc i left he said every time u go out u play a role. Straight up said it. And he believed he was super handsome and special and better than others lol or at least he talked of himself as such, prob just a role

@Spartan-Of-Truth

3 ай бұрын

Life IS kind of a game. Just not a game to drag others through that don’t desire YOUR game.

@safethamzagic7226

3 ай бұрын

Lol

I blocked a guy(handsome) after the 3rd date because I came to the conclusion that he was a narcissist. It’s that feeling of uncanny valley from day 1. Conversation was confusing, he needed constant distraction with music. The 3rd date was his attempt to seek attention, not because he wanted to connect and see if we had potential for a relationship. It was all about him, he’s the prize. 1st/2nd date he was a gentleman and could hold a conversation. By date 3, he couldn’t hold a coherent discussion, every other reply was word salad. I was left more confused than I cared to be. After the date, I came to the conclusion that I had enough information to form a healthy opinion. None of his words matched his actions. The date ended nicely because I’m graceful and my safety is paramount but as soon as we parted ways, I blocked him. Whether he’s an avoidant or narcissist, I don’t care. The end result is they are shapeshifters who bring confusion and chaos into people’s lives.

@MarabelleBlue

3 ай бұрын

I am dead with the shapeshifter comment. Well said and well described!!!!! 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@LivyWithWhiskey

3 ай бұрын

chaos and confusion is spot on

@ForestTiefling

3 ай бұрын

also good observation with the uncanny valley from day 1. Looks human, but isn't, at least not "properly" in some weird, un-down-pinnable way: As long as we don't forget that dehumanizing someone is the first step onto the slippery slope of abuse, neglect and, at the end of the day, genocide, too. Which always creates more trauma and hence, again, more narcissists. A truly vicious cycle. Let's not.

@oachie8862

3 ай бұрын

@teralecole316 That is amazing, you didn’t let his looks cloud your logic. Do you think he knew you were onto him about being a Narc and that is why you got word salad on the third date?

@wendygoddard6610

3 ай бұрын

This was my story

I'm married to a man-child with narcissistic traits. It took me 5 years of marriage to accept that I am just an object to him. I have two children, so I cannot financially leave. But I've grown indifferent, and now I can see him trying to use the cycle on me. He finally wants to take me to the movies (hasn't yet); he finally bought me flowers (he confessed he "thought" I allergic to flowers "like his ex's); he wants us to take time off and spend time together (I used to ask him to do so, and I'd get a "I'm too busy with work"). The cycle doesn't work anymore. I now focus on my next career path and my children.

@ShirleyMostert

3 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂👏👏👏

@thequeenofselfcare

3 ай бұрын

I wish i realized when i was still with him because i would have planned to save better. I was so dependant on him. I left but the financial struggle has been real. I have two kids too and im still very caught in the cycle even tho its over.

@NickeyVamp

3 ай бұрын

You need to leave..I was a SAHM with 5 young children.. stash some cash.. he will leave eventually if he is one. He will take everything and I mean everything they can.. it is hard to think they can do this but they will. Protect children and yourself.. you need to get out!! Stay safe please and make an exit plan.

@amberinthemist7912

2 ай бұрын

Work to get your cert or degree while you can and then get paid work so you can leave.

@Ann-eb8dp

2 ай бұрын

I left once best thing l ever did

There's tons of narcissistic people in the world. The ones who think they're better than everyone, who don't like taking accountability, who are extremely selfish etc. Then there are pathological narcissists. These are the people who are compelled to repeat the same patterns of abuse with every partner they have and have 0 self awareness of how abusive it is.

@positivel5530

3 ай бұрын

Unless they are willing to and want to Change, being a narcissist and having an avoidant attachment is different

@123MG

3 ай бұрын

@@positivel5530 Unfortunately the vast majority of pathological narcissists won't accept their narcissism and can never change.

@pompabomba1

3 ай бұрын

they have awareness man they just love to do that they know it hurts thats why its funny for them

@krillin6

2 ай бұрын

What's the difference? Isn't narcissism pathological by nature?

@karendiaz4106

2 ай бұрын

Yes !! My legal husband , do t even know where to find him. A year no contact, Blocked everywhere

My mother hates me so much. Shes never been able to control me. I will tell her right to her face how crazy she is. Been no contact for about two months now, after a brief, ill advised visit. Was three years before that. Don't go back folks. Please believe me.

The narcissist behaves like a self evolving computer virus trying to breach your firewall.

@Stoicambition93

Ай бұрын

Perfect analogy

I was in a narcissistic relationship and wasted 2 and half years of my life! Now I'm 3 months without her and I still feel she is talking trash behind my back! Narcissist are like a parasite in your life that you cannot completely dispose of so easily! Its still hurts a lot but I'll try my best to move on!

Father is a sociopath. He destroyed my life, controlled me and convinced me that his idea for my life was the right one, even though I, my sister and mother became depressed and mentally unstable. When I went n/c I was and am so angry but what hurt the most is not realizing how sad I was. These parents are dangerous and put their kids in harms way. They never teach them true happiness. They are around just to make the narcs like the way they feel comfortable and they cause mental illness.

@fionaginsbury9633

2 ай бұрын

Very sorry to hear that. Sociopathy is totally incurable !❤

I would not describe their rage as hilarious that kind of downplays how scary it can be especially if you are stalked

@krillin6

2 ай бұрын

It depends, it CAN be rather funny. It usually isn't, though. Every narcissist is different, after all.

@safeeffective385

2 ай бұрын

@@krillin6 Anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of one or more of the following: fear, anxiety, worry, disappointment, frustration, envy, rejection, discomfort, and regret.

@haileypeterson989

2 ай бұрын

Stalking is terrifying. The very last attempt of control, and a strong one.

@sharicoburn5475

2 ай бұрын

@@haileypeterson989 yes it is. Keeps you on edge. And even when it ends it takes a long time for our nervous system to adjust

@Stoicambition93

Ай бұрын

🗣

Emotional, psychological, verbal, sexual, or physical, they are all forms of abuse.

My dad is a narcissist and I feel he is turning my mom into one as well. I’ve blocked both of them and it feels like a breakup, but I can’t take it anymore.

@jamalmanzano5237

11 күн бұрын

I know the feeling it not and easy thing u going tru

Some narcissists just forget about us, we live too far away, we stopped giving money, free dinners, etc We might not be friends social media, so we don't come up on their radar for hoovering, also because it would mean planning to move in together one town away, very unpractical compared to ppl living very close to them, giving them dinner almost every day.

@MarabelleBlue

3 ай бұрын

True. Unless they have your friends number and start texting them like they’ve been friends their whole lives. Which the one I met tried. He was trying to sneak into the USA.

@FreshStart2024-qg8zm

3 ай бұрын

So true. When i plan a trip for us he is so in love, for like a week. Then the day he goes home i don't exist at all for the following weeks. No effort to speak to me or see me again. And calls me crazy or needy if i get upset by this. Makes out to all his friends and family i'm crazy. Where what i experience is one week we are like a married happy couple, and then the next he hardly knows me. Unless it seems he gets bored or he runs out of other options in which case suddenly he's asking me to visit. Also note that a narc won't make an effort to drive over an hour unless there are other motivations than just seeing you. My dad fought tooth and claw to get my mum.... this guy needs other reasons to see me.

@toneyfox6328

3 ай бұрын

Good that’s what u want n need to happen

@NickeyVamp

3 ай бұрын

I need to be there.. tell me your secret.. lol

@veronicatario7791

2 ай бұрын

SO TRUE- they’re so so SOOOO self-absorbed that they don’t even notice our absence. My cousin lives in NY and I live in the south. Although, our family is extreeeeeeeeeemely close, so she’ll notice someday. 9 times out of 10, us empathy are the ONLY people who put up with they’re bullshit, so they just end up even more alone than they were before. That’s what we want though!! Take our power back and never EVER look back!💪 As the Grateful Dead so eloquently puts it “gonna miss me when I’m gone”💁🏻‍♀️😘😘

My ex tried to show me he’s “transformed” by showing up to my church for a service he knew I’d be at. I pretended not to see him so he hung around for ten minutes in hopes he would end up walking out at the same time as me. My grandma and my best friend were there, so the most he did was wave at me like “see I’m better now?”. Good friends and grandmas are kryptonite for narcissistic exes, keep them close by 😅.

After educating myself I've begun leaving narc friends the moment they reveal themselves by unempatheticly exploiting my kindness. It sucks because I feel like a total asshole when I stane up for myself, but the relief is imidiate as well.

If you looked up and found yourself in a long-term relationship with a narcissist, please take a deep breath and begin your journey of healing and restoration. Sadly, if you look deep enough, you were probably raised and surrounded by narcissists. That means you were groomed for abuse from childhood. So, go easy on yourself ❤❤❤

@EBThisThat

3 ай бұрын

I’m totally self aware of this, hopefully healed wanting a secure relationship. Prayerfully that happens soon but if it never does, I’m sure I can be happy in other ways.

@supernova11711

2 ай бұрын

@@EBThisThatOnce I become privy of exactly what OP described (was in a relationship with a narc, started researching and realized it was most of my family), I set out to find someone who was the exact opposite of my usual “type”. I’m now happily married 😊. Knowledge is KEY and it’s never too late! 💕

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

@@EBThisThat You don't need "soon"! You need to be able to find enjoyment being alone and discovering WHO you truly are, and where your interests lay. Jumping into another relationship at this time will almost insure you will end up with another disappointment. You are too needy now and need a vacation from love relationships. That's cheating yourself. Understand that and take time to discover new interests and talents you are not now aware of. By doing this, the right person will eventually enter your life, and in the most unexpected way.

Unfortunately had two narcissists in my life and the last one masked up very well.

@BElivinginChrist

2 ай бұрын

I pray the enemy is EXPOSED and defenseless in Jesus's holy and MIGHTY name...

@pjshairdc6305

2 ай бұрын

Same with me, my last one masked up very well. I went no contact and have 4 months now!!!! Got my life back.......so glad.

@Rightly_Divided

2 ай бұрын

@@BElivinginChrist Well according to God, himself, we are all bad according to Romans 3:10 KJV. Every single one of us. That is why we must have compassion on our enemies as well. We must pray FOR our enemies. Not against them. But I guarantee the enemy will be exposed. God always wins.

Watching this video all I truly want is nothing to do with anyone like this. Like I'm a 32 year old guy, I want someone who is stable and works with me towards good stable reliable goals. I want nothing with someone like this-- it'd be no contact for the rest of forever. Seeing these mental patterns is just soooooooo gross.

@MarabelleBlue

3 ай бұрын

Believe me when I tell you…my experience still haunts me. In order for you to be with someone these days, do not make hasty decisions. Date as long as you can and the minute they divert from any consistent behavior get rid of them immediately. Also depending on what they do. There is no room for anyone to manipulate you. If a person truly loves you they will not give any type of ultimatums or place conditions on your life.

@toasttoast789

3 ай бұрын

Same age I did the dating game for about 4 months went on some dates but nothing. Then out of no where get chatting with a girl who’s 8 years younger, very pretty and a lot of the same interests. We had a good 4 months and now she threw me and my children away to be alone with only her kid. I made the mistake of trying to get back with her and after a few weeks of breadcrumbs I just removed her. She can apologize if she wants me to say anything I’m to old for this and honestly not going to be dating anyone the young again. Hoping to find a non self centered women one of these days it seems impossible when you have kids

@oscarbravo8585

3 ай бұрын

Cole,..you got this.

@shirlspark_stardust

3 ай бұрын

@@toasttoast789I can relate as I have children myself

@SusanaXpeace2u

3 ай бұрын

@@MarabelleBlue the first time your ''agendas'' collide, take note of whether there's a willingness to listen, understand, compromise. Or is 'we're doing it my way or I WALK''. I fell into this for decades, just fitting in around other people, scared they'd walk. I should have thought and felt, if they walk they walk.

My sister was my narcissist we had older parents and i was adopted. Put up w/ her till after they had both died. Mom last died july 31 2015 andi dealt till all was settled min jan 2016. She tried to say parents left me everything when parents hadn't even got their house pd off. I bought house from mom and allowed mom to live w/ me till she developed health issues out of my knowledge to handle. I owned my own business and sister tried to just show up at her convenience but i was at work, had no idea she was even coming to haved tried to be home. Guess she thought i didnt need to work and got by on my looks. Asked me if id borrow money against my house, give it to her to pay off her house. Now, house fully pd off, car pd off and totally out of debt. And got money saved for new car. Doing so much better w/ her gone. She cant just come to my home n take things she wants n imagines she has rt to. Folks like her are so cracra

@Questfinder1

2 ай бұрын

My narcissistic sister tried to kill me so far 3 times. Last one Thanksgiving 2019. Havent seen her or acknowledged her since 12.1.2009. she tried to destroy my relationship with my husband when we first got together. She did manage to twist my son with her lies til he cut me out of his life. Nows she's mad he became exactly ehat she wanted.. a liar and thief. Who ended up in jail for almost a year. Sister, son and both parents tried to gaslight me to pay his bail. I laughed at them and it made them beyond furious I would not bow down to their harassment. Been bo contact for 4/5 years and we moved 2 hours away from everyone and didn't leave a forwarding address. Oh and got a order of protection against all of them. It's peaceful without their drama

My narcissistic ex tried all this once she moved out. For over a year she'd send me long emails about some crisis or other to try and get me to engage. Finally she emailed me saying she had no money for food and was starving to death, so I called DCF and they went over there. I stopped getting crisis emails after that. I still get a "Hey, just wanted to wish you a Happy Easter :)" or something periodically, but no matter how harmless it seems I refuse to answer.

Well timed. He's back (hoovering) and I need strength to keep away.

@IntelligentFlame

3 ай бұрын

Just remember he won't ever match the effort you are willing to put into a relationship. He will ask the world of you and then spit venom when you ask that he do something as simple as taking out the trash.

@Enriquez2222

3 ай бұрын

When mine came back I just lost it on him and he realized he wasn’t gonna win this one

@ceyciemateo9411

3 ай бұрын

How long did it take for him to Hoover?

@ariesnarona

3 ай бұрын

Stay strong!

@Gemmarose9012

3 ай бұрын

Block him.

I met a narcissistic Soziopath online. I endured that shit for about 5 weeks until I caught on to what was happening and blocked that guy. He didn't get past the devaluation phase. I'm very proud of myself!

Good video! Beware, most narcissists are not diagnosed. Many are covert (especially women) and they are a lot more common than one might think.

@tommyrock2788

3 ай бұрын

If their social media exceeds 1k followers/friends-run….they’re seeking strangers for validation with 3-5 selfies a day,do not waste your time on them

@phoenixrisin2269

3 ай бұрын

30%

@victoriaanne4435

3 ай бұрын

Most men are narcissistic, not women.

@Ronsquaremy

3 ай бұрын

@@tommyrock2788 or even 600 in my case lol but they're trying to be influencers 🤣

@krillin6

2 ай бұрын

​@@victoriaanne4435 a sexist got triggered, I see.

Recently left an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship. I’ve been trying to figure out if he was a narcissist for two years now and still question it but for the most part it adds up. We really need more videos on recovering from the abuse cycle

@echol8087

28 күн бұрын

I'm sorry that happened to you. The best explanation of narc abuse versus other types of non-physical abuse is this: A narc strips you of who you are and replaces you with them. They want multiples of themselves. It's why recovering from narc abuse is so difficult. Because they literally removed your self from you, and find a way back to your self is really, really hard. It's also why their hoovering tactics work so well. Because you are them, and you miss yourself, so you miss them and want that back. And although emotional and psychological abuse can do that to some levels, for the most part, after the discard, people are still themselves. The trauma bond may be easier to break. They may not fall for the hoovering easier. Because after the relationship ends, they are still kind of themselves. A narc abuser's job is to try to literally strip all of that away so you become 100% defenseless for as long as possible

@youtubeaccountserio2633

28 күн бұрын

Trust me, if he is an NPD, you will know

@Jessica1144

28 күн бұрын

@@echol8087 I think that explains a lot, thank you. I’ve been working on finding who I am recently, my entire life was revolved around him. I was stuck in the constant cycle with the love bombing then discarding. Your explanation was well said, thank you!

@Jessica1144

28 күн бұрын

@@youtubeaccountserio2633 there are so many “types” of narcs here on the internet it’s hard to figure out what category he fits into. He has characteristics from various “types” he’s not a specific type of that makes sense.

My wife falsely charged me with bashing my kids so that I would have to see her in court and she could control my life. I went to court. I won. I was still served a 2 year Conduct Agreement even though I was found not guilty of any charge. 2 years have past and I have reached the end of my Conduct Agreement and…. Knock knock, the police are at my door serving my with a summons to appear in court again on charges of bashing my kids. I expect to receive another knock at the door in 2 years from now. You can not escape a true Narcissist. That is one thing all these so called experts get horribly wrong

@amberinthemist7912

2 ай бұрын

If you share kids with a narc you can't be free until the youngest is 18.

@LibraTea

6 күн бұрын

Make sure you have the charges dismissed WITH prejudice. Then she can never bring it up again.

any person would feel depression and even anger if they would be sent to no contact. I left the narc, but i feel those emotions also.

@clintonnagy1662

2 ай бұрын

Agreed. Normal people feel the need to have a connection with someone that meant something to them. That's normal relationship drama.

@katgee1013

2 ай бұрын

Agree aswell I got ghosted after a reoccurring argument re allowing me to sleep especially when I have to work 12 plus hours. Feeling ghosted /discarded or never contacted again feels horrible I miss him every day and miss being a part of his life.

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

@@katgee1013 You will move on. Something much better is coming to you and he was removed for a reason.

@LeeEverett1

Ай бұрын

​@@katgee1013You're not alone. I dated this girl for 6 months giving her nothing but love, new experiences, protection, her shoulder to cry on etc and she ghosted me after our very first argument. She blocked me everywhere and didn't even say we were breaking up, I spent a week wondering if we were even a couple but turns out she downloaded dating apps immediately after ghosting me. The irony is she put in her dating bio "looking for a long term relationship", I laughed because it's obviously a lie.

@Jessica1144

Ай бұрын

Hey there I feel sadness and anger, how do you eventually move past those feelings after a breakup with a narcissist? I hope all is well and you’ve moved past those stages by now

I don't think narcs try to come back or keep you around, once they reveal their true colors to you and got as much as they could out of you, they just move on to the next source and suck them dry too. My ex I dated for 6 months discarded me like trash. Ghosted me and blocked me everywhere without saying we were breaking up and she got on dating apps that same week. This is coming from a woman who told me things like "modern dating is so hard no one puts in effort anymore", "I see a future with you I hope you keep me around", "I've never felt so happy with someone" etc. It's been a month and she never once tried reaching out because she knows I'd reject her.

@DodgeThatAttack

Ай бұрын

I knew a friend very similar to that. Not sure if he was a narcissist, but I do think different narcissists do some things differently.

"It is very hard to go no contact, but when you reach that point of being over all their 💩, you will find it easier than you originally thought and be able to walk away and not look back. And you

@ufos-cos

2 ай бұрын

No contact is not hard. Block them on everything & move on.

@andrewbeckman7687

2 ай бұрын

@@ufos-cos Tell your brain that too. Thoughts move on slowly can u block thoughts mindful meditation helps and u?

@ufos-cos

2 ай бұрын

@@andrewbeckman7687 I drink a lot of tea. I don’t have to block my thoughts. My thoughts aren’t intrusive like yours. You have a nice day.

@andrewbeckman7687

2 ай бұрын

@@ufos-cos no intrusive thoughts rude comment about mindfulness not how would you know maybe tea is not tea Ms. Browns magic mushroom tea from Negril Jamacia will help you think positive, so u have a wonderful trip not block but let those unnecessary thoughts pass not to act out, get it? Feedback

@ufos-cos

2 ай бұрын

@@andrewbeckman7687 no, i don’t get it, you need more punctuation. Have a nice day though.

My ex showed up with balloons at my third floor window. He tied them below so they could reach my window. I was so scared. He also called me from a different number that I had no idea about. It made my body anxious just imagining his crawling below my window and other people’s windows to attach the balloons. The delusion is for real.

@krillin6

2 ай бұрын

Get a restraining order, for real.

@eliasvasquez7322

Ай бұрын

Call the police on him, you deserve better than this creep.....

My mom’s a narcissist. I moved out 5 months ago and went no contact, I’m 15.

@gordonbennett3213

Ай бұрын

💪

@bastairteile

Ай бұрын

Good on you, well done, I wish you the best for your life.

@gailrobinson3853

Ай бұрын

Please watch out for yourself. Eyes wide open! Our default can become narcissist magnets! Pray for you.❤

@sukbonde

23 күн бұрын

more power to you girl!💪 I wish I had identified my mom's behavior sooner

All these videos provide great information, BUT, not a single one talks or warns about the enormous danger of a person leaving and going no contact from a physically abusive partner. It is at the time of leaving that the victim is at the highest danger of being killed. I have never once seen any information provided for victims to not confront their abuser; encouragement and information about how to leave safely to a shelter; a safety plan etc etc. to save the life of the victim and the children.

@ChocolateBabe_

3 ай бұрын

I lost my best friend while she was literally in the middle of moving out of her own house and into her mothers house. He shot and killed her.

@janwillis99

3 ай бұрын

@@ChocolateBabe_ I'm so sorry. This is why I'm spreading the word....to try to prevent this.

@Monalisa0622

3 ай бұрын

Very true. It is extremely difficult leaving for so many. I was afraid he would take the children and go on hiding or hurt me permanently. I prayed that God would make a safe way out. Let him 4 yrs ago. But let me tell you I was still afraid always worried even tho I had minimal contact. He kept his toxic ways. Was in a toxic relationship. He finally met someone that was worse than him. I believe she drove him to the point of taking his life. Now my children and I have more trauma to heal from. But the odd thing is my body finally relaxed. I am not afraid anymore. For the last 17 years of my life my body has been tense and finally it's free. 😔

@UntameableRunaway

2 ай бұрын

🎆 ~ WARNING: Personal experiences proved that *SIX legal Restraining Protection Orders* against *TWO ex-husbands* in different towns & counties proved over & over that those pieces of paper *DON'T WORK & only make them MORE PSYCHOTICALLY CRAZY* - good cops did their jobs to protect me, per the law, but bad/corrupt judges also are to blame for NOT putting them in jail - per state statute law!!! Those ANGER-PROVOKING USELESS "legal orders" that MULTIPLE JUDGES REFUSED TO OBEY STATE LAW PUNISHMENT - FLIPPED both ex'z obsessively controlling "soul-mate love" into *RETALIATORY REVENGE FUELED BY ANGRY CONTROL MADNESS* ❗️ Made my life a nightmare - then & still. I trust no one now. BEWARE. ~ 🎆

"Victims" of Narcissist usually get hoovered back in easily. "Targets" go no contact and move on. even when the Narcissist tries all of the above traps..... Good video

@uliami3

2 ай бұрын

What do you mean by "targets"? Most desirable objects, like succesful ones, usually unavailable? And the "victim" is more like "a gap filler/a consolation prize" type?

@mrbriankeith111

10 күн бұрын

​@uliami3 a victim sees themselves as a victim they feel helpless. A target is someone who knows they were used but won't let it happen again. One also has to own up to the fact that they do have some responsibility in this. The other thinks they were just abused for no reason.

This is so true, be vigilant always before allowing people in your life. I've been through this in a recent relationship, which I went no contact! Although it had been 2 months into a relationship, it was still surmountable amount of stress and anxiety, it's not worth it. I went to therapy to workout what I went through, I didn't know and never again I will go through this. It's manipulative and insidious!

I hope you read this. I’m in the process of no contact with a narcissist. This is one of the most brilliant examples I’ve seen of the Hovering. I’m 65 and I finally realize all my life I’ve been with narcissist. This video will help me break this cycle. I’ve watched every narcissist video on KZread and they have been extremely helpful but this is absolutely brilliant absolutely brilliant. It should be shown to all women with a narcissist. It should be in classrooms. It should be taught in schools. It’s just brilliant . my son-in-law is upset because I keep going back and I’m going to show him this. It’s just brilliant.

@brendalhunt9720

2 ай бұрын

You’re a brilliant young man and you are going to help a lot of people with these evil narcissistic people. But you must realize this it is definitely a spiritual warfare, and you have to start crossing to the other side of the spiritual world or you will never recover or never see the evilness in this.

@brendalhunt9720

2 ай бұрын

Thank you thank you thank you for putting so much work into this video. It’s just brilliant.

@dripdaddydolluz2856

2 ай бұрын

If you've watched "every video about narcissists on youtube" could, perhaps, just maybe, possibly be a hammer in search of a nail? Sounds like you made up your mind that this individual is a narcissist. Statistically, narcissists are less than 1-2% of the population. So the odds you're ACTUALLY dealing with a narcissist is incredibly unlikely.

@mariehayes8213

2 ай бұрын

I concur with everything you have written here. Thank you. 65 and finally coming to the realisation that this madness has to stop or I will go completely mad myself 😮

My ex narc has been trying to come back to hoover meny times ,i told her I've already vacuumed the floors i dont need her to hoover anymore

@mrwillwgp

Ай бұрын

Mine liked something I said and brought over dog food one day, as if to say "good boy" ... F off lol

Regret not having ANY of this knowledge & I got hovered in! Omg worse than the pre hover abuse

@ajaxheel

2 ай бұрын

Me too! I got hoovered in after going no contact. He had a public transformation and became an amazing guy. After 3 months, we got engaged. It was an act, and I was so unaware. He dumped me again after a year of being engaged and truly broke me. He then tried to change the narrative by saying I abandoned him bc I went 'no contact' after being dumped! They are unbelievably out of their minds that you don't think their approach to you is a simple formula as the graphs in the video show. You somehow think they are as complex and therefore as beautiful as you. They are not. They simply are unimaginative, ruthless liars who reuse the same formula on people who have integrity, and enough of it to assume that others don't lie or manipulate.

Other thing that's different between avoidant and narc - an avoidant doesn't explode in rage when you point out a small thing that maybe they did wrong.

@XiaoGuanYin104

3 ай бұрын

Oh wow. He's a narcissist for sure then.

Keep in mind that their rage/anger is a secondary emotion, typically comprised of one or more of the following: fear, anxiety, worry, disappointment, frustration, envy, rejection, discomfort, and regret.

@jacinta9134

Ай бұрын

Doesn’t matter. Abusers don’t deserve empathy.

@safeeffective385

Ай бұрын

@@jacinta9134 That's true, and I agree.

@safeeffective385

Ай бұрын

@@jacinta9134 Also keep in mind that society heavily conditions us from early childhood to internalize that how we "feel" is literally reality incarnate, and also that to be mistaken/wrong (about most anything) equates to being a "bad person". So, folks with this mindset (of which are the majority) will present with what looks like delusions of infallibility and superiority because they truly believe that their conditioned belief sets are "set in stone"... if that makes sense.

@emmarae4322

Ай бұрын

So?

The persona of transformation… the narcissist’s “epiphany”

Very bold in accusations of my wrong doing. When proven wrong now suddenly she's the victim.

Chris! THIS is an EXCELLENT presentation. It is SPOT ON PERFECT. THANK YOU for taking such a detailed look into the "NARC ABUSE CYCLE"! Everything you presented is 100% accurate. Thank you so much!

One tactic my mother would do, Is speak to my childhood friends which I used to be close with but im still cool with is to speak and manipulate them to speak to me.

This doesn’t just exist in romantic relationships. It’s also very common in the workplace. I was unlucky enough to have worked for 2 narcissistic bosses. Stayed loyal to them for 10 years only to be devalued and discarded after raising a concern of not once being given a raise throughout the time I was with them. Constantly criticizing and nitpicking to avoid paying me what I was worth despite using the material that I worked hard to put together for their company. 10 years of my life wasted.

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

Yes, I worked for a cheapskate just like that for two years. Always finding more and more work to add to my already huge burden. She would do ANYTHING to avoid giving me any raise! But when it DID finally come, I received another $8 or $9 a month! She was wealthy should have been ashamed! And I found out that people who always say, "Have a blessed day!" to the checkout person, are the least Christian ones possible! Look out for the ones who do that...as crazy as it sounds! LOL!

I was with a narcissist scammer and finally discarded him in 2019. There’s a back story but I had to make sure my family and I were safe. As soon as he was back in Canada and got a job I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. I had to con him to go back as he drained my bank account. Like I said there’s a back story. I hate this person to the core of my soul. If he tried to come back he won’t live to feel regret. I never felt so foolish in my life.

@ceyciemateo9411

3 ай бұрын

Wow I’m so sorry you dealt with that

@how_you_talk

3 ай бұрын

How did u con him? Would love to know

@coachingliferealities

3 ай бұрын

@@how_you_talk I'm answering from my coaching account....I "love bombed" him right back. I was a walking attitude with him. My car broke down, which in hindsight was a message from the Universe, "this is your out". Mind you this was a person who claimed he was one of the best mechanics in Canada and was able to memorize any handbook but couldn't remember to take dishes out of a dishwasher. How on earth did I buy a lemon with him standing there telling me this was a good car, you got me on there. Nine months later, the car dies, on my way home. By then I had had enough of him. My father picks me up and now has to drive me to work until the car gets fixed. Long story short (at least for this aspect of my story), he borrows money, and I told him to take the money and go back to Canada as I had a plan. I told him to save all his money and I will save mine and buy a house for us and when he has enough money saved, he can come back. The minute he got back he got a job, funny because he couldn't find not one out here in the USA, right away he was talking about buying some jeep and a RV to go with it (sorry for my answer being so long). He did everything I expected him to do, to be all about himself. As soon as I felt safe, I told him there's no reason for him to come back. The next day I got a scathing email that he ran a red light, got into a car accident on the way to work, totaled his car and now had no way of getting to work and he had to pay a bunch of fines to the city and this was all my fault because of my email ending the "relationship". Funny how that works. His whole entire life's downfalls were never his fault. Now I was on his list of "the reasons why my life is a mess". I had to be very cautious because brought weapons here though the ATF and I did not want to be on 48 hours in the past tense version and my family too, being he made a verbal threat to my mom.

@MarabelleBlue

3 ай бұрын

Thank you. It really was a nightmare. I had an interesting conversation with my friend yesterday, who he actually started texting maybe a year after he left acting as if they were friends. He truly a horrible person. I wish nothing good for him. I talked about him in my reesa teesa vid but will be expanding on that topic in a two part on my coaching channel. I think it’s time for me to tell my story.

@MarabelleBlue

3 ай бұрын

@@how_you_talk Seems my comment disappeared...I hope you were able to read it. 🙂 Be well.

Dad doesn't want anything to do with me and won't accept blame for having made my life miserable. He nitpicks at me. I am not in contact with him!

I don’t know what he does after no contact, because I’M NO CONTACT. he gone gone gone.

I'm so damn lucky to have the narc blocked on every possible account on the internet, absolutely ignoring their exstence and cut contact with all mutual friends to hear nothing about them. Worth it. Experienced all four stages of hoovering - they won't get me back, never again.

What really sucks is realizing that your son is not only narcissistic but that he married a narcissistic wife and they gang up on you. 😔

This video is shockingly true. Thank you for your honesty. I really hope this video spreads far & Reaches many. Brilliantly presented. 💚Thank you Thank you 💚

@user-zl9uj4ve5b

3 ай бұрын

I agree...it really engages and connects with you in terms of the oral presentation and the graphics.

I appreciate your channel and differentiating between a NP psychiatric diagnosis and multiple tendencies the lay person is capable of noticing. Labeling people is destructive when there is no expertise. Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. You are the first to mention a complete personality change as a manipulation tactic. Last week, I received an email from my 86 year old Mother whom I have always had a rocky relationship with. She used words and had an attitude I'd never heard from her before. It was as if she'd had a personality transplant, sort of. She wrote, "Dear Beautiful Daughter". I thought, OMG, what does she want? She has never spoken that kindly to me. She tried her best to compliment and to connect with me on the basis of a MVA disability I have from 20 years ago. I have a psych degree however "tactical empathy" is new term I'm not familiar with. I am 64 years old. I am not a child. I had a hard time taking in one word of this email. It had strange compliments, like I had done "a Yeoman's job" when I moved myself and re-established myself 2k miles away. What the heck is that supposed to mean? It's a fake compliment when it's written in code. I wasn't raised at sea, in the 19th Century, which is what the comment sounds like to me. How is it that difficult to compliment your Daughter? Females are groomed to tolerate abuse being the second class citizens that we are. You would be performing such an incredible public service for all females to help identify the habits and traits that make easy targets for NP. There are certain aspect of being socialized as female that make us especially vulnerable to domestic violence I think you will find. The NP men (and women) seek out particular targets and the consequences can be life-changing and profound.

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

Sounds like mum is suffering from dementia...she's in her own world. Mystery solved.

One of the best videos I’ve seen so far on this topic to understand the nightmarish cycle of abuse I was trapped in for several years … thank you Chris!

I'm 44 years old and it wasn't until recently that I realized my mom is EXACTLY like this! Thank for this video. I've not seen this diagram before and the more I watch, the better I feel about everything in my past.

WOW WOW WOW. One of the best videos I’ve seen on the subject. Well done.

Thank you, have experienced all Of the above from him. So scary and appreciate the support and knowledge so much

Excellent video. Four and a half months no contact. This was the key statement for me in your video: “Healing ~ It’s a profound act of reclaiming your worth and identity.” Yes!!!!

My mother has a masters degree in psychology. She worked as a therapist for a few years, znd then had her license stripped from her because she was sleeping with her clients. You can't make this shit up. And yo fhis day she will still sit there and talk about how much she loved that guy. Its absolutely insane. I can say sith utter fact that its almost impossible to even realize it, especially as a child. Hell, for thirty years.

Wow.. I love your graphic illustration. Easy to understand. Thanks, bro...

This is why blocking them is the only solution, even if they try to find a way in...ever attempt block, no contact and block. Hopefully one day he will stop

Extremely well done video!!! Being able to IDENTIFY these behaviors are most of the battle!!! Loved the explanation of number 5. Go no contact and never look back!!! Real personality, kindness, self worth is the new cool.

I needed this real bad. Sometimes i wonder how narcissists don’t know it/that or if they they are narcissist. Like you treat people like shit how are you not aware

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

They truly do not know they are narcissists. But they can sure blame everyone else for being one. It's called "projecting" in narc vocabulary.

@ajaxheel

2 ай бұрын

I think deep down, they know. They know the effect they have on their poor partners/suppliers/victims. They've seen it over and over but just don't care.

I've watched 2 videos of yours so far. You were so on point with your first one (the one that uses Spike as your narcissist) that I subscribed straightaway. This one did not disappoint. I escaped a Narcissistic Abusive marriage in July 2023 after 45 years of going through the cycle and leaving (and going back)at least 5 times. I was alerted to NPD by my daughter just before Christmas 2022 and started to research it surreptitiously. I realised that my husband had all 9traits of NPD and he had perfected these over the course of our 47 years together. It still took a further 6months before one final act made me realise that my life was in danger and that not only would he never change but that he was getting worse. I immediately went no contact and the spiralling began. I actually believe people with NPD are born with it and something in childhood, not necessarily real but perceived by them, triggers the disorder. Maybe in the early years there is a chance to modify it somewhat, but because it is only a recently recognised thing and horrendously difficult to spot, the longer it goes undiagnosed an unchecked the harder it is to modify till it gets to a point of no return.

@mariehayes8213

2 ай бұрын

46 years myself and this video explains it all. Standing back now but I didn’t know about the last tactic of reinventing themselves. It’s very difficult when you have children and then of course the grandchildren which has made it notoriously difficult for me to ‘extract’ myself! I’m in the early stages of finally getting away but it’s so blooming difficult as I have failed so many times before. I have to do this for my own sanity

"Persona of Transformation" is a brilliant term for it, and how you broke that down is so useful. I hope at some point you adapt this part for situation where youre only threatening to leave or are separated from the narcissist, especially the public-facing and communication parts.

Love the manner in which you describe their traits with diagrams . It makes it easier to understand this complex disorder. Well done research also

Thank you for this video. In the last weeks I've been struggling with going no contact with my narcissistic-ex for fear of retaliation.

My mom has NPD. The hardest part of no contact for me has 100% been the ways she bleeds into my life through the people around me. As hard as I try, she always finds ways of tugging on the strings from the outside. While I was in it, I couldn't come to terms with the idea of her intentionally hurting me. She was like my best friend. Even after years of therapy, she's still the person who raised me - it's hard not to wish she loved me back like a parent should. I know she uses that feeling like a weapon and it sucks. Keeping that door closed is a battle.

@kristilindley7849

2 ай бұрын

You were brainwashed. Period. Let it all go because we cannot change the past ever.

@rgdnmusic

24 күн бұрын

Yep, they are experts of using mutual contacts as agents of their own agendas

Wow this is very well put! You portrayed a different angle that most therapists don't even cover in vids.

Brilliant video. Not only is the content bang on, your visual illustrations are great. Thanks for the effort you have put into this video.

You are forgetting the smear campaign which may fall in to the discard phase.

@user-zk7di8yi6o

3 ай бұрын

And the flying-monkeys

2 years this month and I never heard back from him. He is partnered with 3 kids. Was using me while he worked away from his home. He trashed his partner in front of me many times. He even said he loved being at mine more than being at his. Yes, he lived at mine for free, free meals, going to work driving luxury cars ‘mine’. One day I just couldn’t take it anymore when I noticed he was throwing some devaluing comments every now and then. He was so mad when I refused to hire a Bentley for his daughter’s 18th birthday and that’s what end the whole 💩. I have seen him couple of times after we ended this like 2 months after he took off and he looked very miserable and sad to the core. Back then he still was working at the same city but rented a room near to my house. I literally had to send him back where he belongs so he wouldn’t pop up in front of me and so I can work on my own self.

Thank you so much, a point I would like to add to help: true No contact is blocking everything from them and removing yourself so you would not know if they have done cold empathy, shaming, fury and smearing since you are away from them. This is the best way to escape and even save your life. Blessings xo

i havent seen a video get to point in such a long time, breath of fresh air... thank you.

my ex still hovering me this time around, but Im not replying any single message she sent me. Thank you for your video! This gold

You deserve a huge gold star actually made of gold.

Continually use. Continually work. The transformation one got me more than once. You described it so well. It almost worked again. Thank you ❤

Again thank you for making this video. Very informative

Powerful video! Thank you

This video was so engaging and really visually dynamic. You can see the traps and boxes set out for victims in abusive cycles. Reminds me of an 80’s song by the Eurythmics “Sweet Dreams.” That line about “some of them want to abuse you.” Yeah narcissists are sick

Great, informative video. And believe me, like most people on here, I've seen a LOT of content about this. I'm trying to get myself away from this content, but healing is never linear. Some days I feel like I need more help staying on track than others.

This video is incredibly accurate! You communicate and explain it so well. I recognised this from a “fake friend” and thankfully for videos like this I was able to see it sooner. I thought this person was bipolar and had a personality disorder but her ways seemed so much more evil and calculated. Once I saw that I went no contact and stuck to those boundaries. Im also a pastors wife so she has used that to her advantage by making up lies and making herself look like the victim. Im apparently an unforgiving person and dont practice what I preach because I kept those boundaries there and will not allow her back into my life. The lies are so unbelievable that its surprising that people fall for that rubbish. Then the fake apology showing that she is capable of owning up but I can hear the manipualtion in the apology. Its been a year and a half of attacks, lies, manipulation and hoovering.

if only i had a video like this when i was 11-18. my father and ex had me in this cycle for over 8 years. I finally made no contact with either. helpful video thank you.

I grey rocked my narcissist out of my life for good last week. She moved out last Sunday. 😌

@user-oy1sq9io5x

Ай бұрын

If she’s a narcissist she will try to suck you back in using the tactics Chris explains very well in this video. Stay strong and don’t ever look back

Thank you thank you thank you thank you I hadn't realized I was leaving myself vulnerable to being sucked into the new persona act. The one I'm escaping is terrifyingly smart and its already not possible to out-think someone at a skill they spend every waking moment honing. It doesn't surprise me to realize my armor has a hole in it. I'm so deeply grateful for all the information available on KZread right now. I had managed to fortify myself from those first four traps almost completely because of KZread. And you brought my attention to the fifth one just in time. I'm unfollowing the monster's writing account. They had just posted this story of grief and loss, and well, I think we all know how that story ends, now. A million times, thank you.

This was th most informitive video on this topic that I have found, I will revisit this when I am feeling the potential to be sucked in again to remind me to stay strong . Thank you

Thank you Chris! Im so glad youve transitioned into more psychology related videos, because that is the real guide when looking for a healthy, secure relationship.