I am 32 years old now, and I asked my mom why did she allow dad to physically abuse my sister and I so much, and does she regret saying all above mentioned words to us...she said that we were bad kids.I asked what does she think that we have done to deserve that...she answered that we were not really bad, but had habits that she dislikes. This all is horrible. This used to be a huge problem for me in the past, but now I chose to live very far away from my parents. I do talk to them regularly, but the fact is that we both, my sister and I, would never be good enough for them. I truly hope people learn early if they do make mistakes as parents, and if they don't, kids who went through this in their life, you can move on from that and continue to succeed in every aspect of your life.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Tamara Ristic Allen, you are so positive and resilient. Thank you for choosing different.

You are amazing, no wonder people grow up with no confidence 😢

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

We can overcome, rose fragale. We can learn other ways, so glad you and others are at the channel and choosing positivity.

@69Fabulosity

4 жыл бұрын

Story of my life. My mother never believed in me and always told me I cant be what I've wanted to be & now as an adult I don't believe in myself.

@RukhShariq

4 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. I am one of them. She always had positive things to say about my other sisters and al the negative for me. Not that she didnt love me but she kind of thought it was the way to make me a better person. Well,I didnt turn out to be a better person at all. Worst thing is now I feel like I am being like my mother not just to my kids but also husband. That's why I watch his videos to help change myself

This made me tear up. I remember hearing some of these things from my parents😢 it hurt then and even now... but thats why I'm here!!! I know back then they didn't have the parenting tools like we do now. Thanks the videos!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

So glad you have chosen something different for the next generation, Nancy Can. You got this.

@sarathieniranjana2146

4 жыл бұрын

don't worry.we are the same.my parents too.but we have a chance to be good parents than our parents.

@ib5660

4 жыл бұрын

Get over it jeez

I can imagine saying “I shouldn’t have had you.” Or “I never loved you.” Would be the absolute worse.

@caitlinclose8272

4 жыл бұрын

Artemis Hunts yup. The “I shouldn’t have had you.” -that one I’ve heard, at a very young age & I’m still not over it.

@daughterofthemosthigh9931

4 жыл бұрын

My adopted father told me "we should of never adopted you" and in my mind I finished his sentence "because we aren't ready to be good parents" I wasn't the "proublem" they where...looking back at ot now that I'm an adult it was me protecting my child self.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Artemis Hunts, they are both terrible.

@annawimpey5307

4 жыл бұрын

As a Christian, I am to love the sinner, but not the sin. You have to teach right from wrong by pointing it out and making sure they understand. If the bad behavior continues, a correction and punishment (ie grounding) must come from you. They call it tough love because it's hard on you to discipline someone you love. They need you to give them guidance so that they learn to make good decisions and handle their own lives with Christ who strengthens them.

@dewfuss4360

4 жыл бұрын

Daughter of the Most High Hope your mom left him, I bet he had very little or no friends and isolated your family from everybody

"When we TEACH our children that THEY CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, FEAR DISAPPEARS and it OPENS UP POSSIBILITIES for them To FIND WAYS, To COPE, To ADAPT, To INNOVATE, To CREATE, and To BECOME the BEAUTIFUL POWERFUL people that they are UNIQUELY DESIGNED to BE". Simply brilliant!! Thank you SO much for your videos! They make parents like me, once kids raised that wrong way, try to heal and forgive your own parents and at the same time, try to forgive yourself, plus try to be a better parent with my own kids. What a combo! 🤗🤗

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

I am so happy to hear that you GET it and are trying to LIVE it, Carina Mantovani! I am truly honored to be on your team. Thanks for being part of the Live On Purpose community.

@carinacorrea1976

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you SO much for your support!! 🤗💖

I can’t ever imagine saying these negative things to my daughter! MY GOODNESS it breaks my heart. My life goals is to be here with love for children

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Taylor Loper, wish all parents were like you. Sadly, not.

@Wolfqueen007

3 жыл бұрын

Even if you can't imagine it, you might find yourself getting wrapped up in emotion and saying them anyway. I try really hard not to say these things, but having been raised the way I was with a Negative Nancy for a mother, and a stepfather who thought I was useless Zaza it's hard. I sure don't WANT to say these things, but changing my attitude about life in general is hard since I tend towards pessimistic views in the first place, which makes it harder to control my reactions in stressful situations. No one's perfect, but I hope to get better as I increase awareness of myself. Admitting this doesn't mean I don't love my kid, either. I do, and I try to show him every day. But not everyone was raised in super loving homes and taught positive coping strategies that help make for "perfect" parents. It should say something about the people raised in dysfunctional families who try to improve themselves because they do love their children enough not to want to hurt them because of poor parenting they may have experienced.

@tonybelmonte1724

2 жыл бұрын

People are human. We are weak and don't always know how to do or say the right things. But once you learn and don't employment it then you are to blame for your actions.

Shouldn't this extend to adults/spouses/partners!?

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Miss E, agreed! We need to talk respectful to everyone.

@karaa7595

4 жыл бұрын

Obviously.

@dawncawthra3519

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! Unfortunately some adults continue that cycle they were born into, even knowing it's wrong (usually only acknowledging that after the chaos), they appear to be unable to control their emotions, allowing their emotions to control them. If you're in a relationship that you know in your heart is toxic hunny, there's a crucial point where you realize they are not willing to put the effort in to correct that cycle, it's time to accept it and move on. Mutual respect is deserved but not when obtained through fear.

@mareknosek996

3 жыл бұрын

To everyone...

Something I personally learned after having a child that I can’t stand is when parents say “no I didn’t” or something denying the way the child feels about something that happened. Stating that their views and emotions are false. Even if that’s not how something was intended or even if it legitimately not how something really played out to tell someone that the feelings inside someone’s heart especially pain and sadness and to tell them that it’s not true is horrible, you then are forced to learn to disassociate from your body because you learn to not trust your feelings!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Taylor Loper, you are never wrong about how you feel.

I WISH YOU WERE MY DAD😢🖤

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

John Lester, you are very kind. Please know that your father is doing the best he can with the knowledge and resources he has. We have a Positive Parenting playlist - do you think he would be willing to watch any of the videos on it? Best wishes, and thanks for watching.

@Dulce-cm2kx

3 жыл бұрын

Ditto.

I loved this. My parents said all these things and it's taken years to cope with the depression from it and unlearn the maladaptive behavior that I indirectly learned from them. Now that I have a son, I want to be the best parent I can be for him. I've been rewatching these videos on parenting since he was a baby and I just want to say thank you for conveying such valuable information. Our children are the future and they deserve to live in a healthy, happy home that fosters an environment in which they will thrive developmentally.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Children are our future and we have so much to do with how it comes out.

@tecumseha

5 жыл бұрын

Jackie, you are so strong to go from a negative environment in your childhood, & turning into a positive one for your own child. That's harder work than starting from positive. You are a great example - especially to your child, but also to the rest of us! Dr. Paul is awesome & so helpful, right?

Maybe put up a video of what we should stay instead

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Fastpitch Mermaid, I did, that aired a little bit ago, 3 Things You Should Say to Your Child Everyday. Very well received.

@SouleStunningCleans

4 жыл бұрын

Fastpitch Mermaid that’s exactly what I was thinking

@hazyquebec12

4 жыл бұрын

It’s important to know what not to do

@kaitlyne1870

4 жыл бұрын

In these situations, probably don't say anything at all. If you feel the need to tell your kid they're dumb and that you wish you hadn't had them, you should probably just step away and work on your own issues (temper, stress, etc.) instead of taking it out on your kid.

@mareknosek996

3 жыл бұрын

Good idea!

My father says “what is wrong with you?” All the time to my children and of course said it to me as a kid. I hate when he says that!!! I get so angry at him!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

FacciaBella5, I would look at him and say, "Nothing." I would let him know that the kids are perfectly normal, smile and change the subject or ignore him.

@rlb3726

4 жыл бұрын

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Good reply.

@janedoh1648

4 жыл бұрын

FacciaBella5 my dad said it here and there, it really hurt

@lezel4swarts

4 жыл бұрын

But what is wrong with you really ?

@janedoh1648

4 жыл бұрын

Gee rams lol lots

Every time I tried to speak up for myself if I was asked a question about any conversation, when my mom wasn't around to defend me, my Aunts would always say, "oh you don't know anything, you don't know what you're talking about."

He's psychologically damaging me by not telling me what is the heck it is!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Crystal Johansen, Read some of the comments and you will see some things said, scary.

@DaurcKnyte

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@dancingphalangesmz

3 жыл бұрын

Learn to listen actively

I encountered so much bullying when i was a teens, all of my dads relatives and even my dad are bad influence, always say negative things on me, words that hurt me the most! “That I don’t know nothing and never successful in life, .. 😢 but Thank GOD I relying on him and turns out GOOd my life is perfect with GOD in my life, I’m married and have 5years old beautiful girl❤️

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Amy Olsen, so glad you could move on and have more positive people in your life.

Honestly I never want to become like my mother because she always says stuff like till now and Im catching myself doing the same to my Kid! Really eye opening really hits my heart. Thank you for your powerful Video 🙏🏽

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, hella ibrahim. Thank you for watching and being aware.

@jenniferm6042

5 жыл бұрын

Same! It's very hard to stop the cycle. I remind myself I am doing better than my mother and her mother did.

@davidusa47

4 жыл бұрын

“because she always says stuff like...” You just did it right there, see? Tough to break the cycle. But the only person we can truly change is ourselves.

@zaraali6595

4 жыл бұрын

So true ... mental torture is dangerous

It's important not to foist your own fears onto your kids. My father was coach to me. Everyone has fears. He coached me to do far beyond what I was afraid to do myself. I still have to catch myself before I think or say something that instills fear. Being a coach is the opposite of saying you can't. Being positive and encouraging instills confidence. Thanks for this insight.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

Жыл бұрын

You are welcome, your dad sounds amazing.

The flip side is damaging, too. I could never please my dad, ever. I was a straight A student, but when I brought home the A, he wanted to know why it wasn't an A+. When I brought home the A+, he wanted to know why I wasn't teaching the class. I was never an athlete, and he'd watch Olympic figure skaters and swimmers and say with disappointment, "You could do that." Never once offered to take me to the pool or a gym. Now I'm old and feel like a failure because I've topped out and I'm not still "rising."

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

My Dear Frankly, pick something YOU want to do, learn or experience and take it on. You are too old for everything.

Thank you for this reminder! Fear, pride and our expectations are the most difficult things we deal with day to day. ❤️

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Great point, Hilda wheeler, I agree.

We then spend the rest of our lives telling those things to ourselves if we don't wake up. Great message, thank you for your goodness.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

Non of us are perfect, all parents make mistakes. I have a “difficult” child...learning and behavioral disabilities, mental health issues. I’m guilty of saying “now what did you do”, because honestly, there was something every single day. I got calls from the school at least once a week. I did the best I could. My son is now an adult and he’s still struggling and I’m still trying to be a perfect mom, but I still occasionally say the wrong thing, especially when stressed. Be kind to your kids and to yourselves. Pray for peace inside and out.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

cattailsforlunch, amen. Great advice, thank you for adding your perspective and experience.

We have to think before we speak and act in front of kids they will be the reflection of us. A lot of us grew up with very abusing parents or family like I did. I broke the chain educating myself watching this videos a few years ago nobody pushed me to be a better parent nobody told me about this videos nobody nothing . There is no excuses educating ourselves to be better parents and better person is our choice .

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Joe Bello, glad you are here in our positive parenting community.

So helpful, so fun, I didn’t expect that the most damaging thing I say to my child is “You can’t”, I may do some changes

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for considering, Chenxi Shu. Honored to be on your team.

Oh 🥴 I’m a single parent and have two very lively children that I am guilty of saying some of these things to. You CAN! I didn’t hear this growing up but I intend to break the pattern. Thank you 🙏

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Wonderful! I love it when we see we have a choice and decide to be positive. You got this!

@brothertn708

4 жыл бұрын

Grace Kelly single parents are by far the worst to raise children! I feel for those poor children!

Glad to be here and so glad you are on this planet!! Thank you for your wisdom

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Honored to be on your team, Laura Rose.

I'm literally crying while seeing this video.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

All KZread, I have heard that before. Thanks for watching.

This is so powerful. I can't thank you enough for these videos. I am so happy I just discovered you. You're spot on with everything.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Welcome! Doe eyed beauty, glad to have you in our positive community.

Thank you Dr. Paul for keeping in a line & hitting my conscious with your words of wisdom 🙏🙏🙏💖

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Always a pleasure, ROSIE 112109.

Thank you for bringing light to this extremely important subject

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Joy Henson, honored to be on your team.

Take a breath, relax, that was just a bad day, not bad life. You can sleep now." -Another Yourself 😘😍

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Love it.

Wow, that was eye-opening, for my children's sake but especially for ME! Thank you Dr. Paul!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching, Flavio Ferreira, honored to be on your team.

Every parent needs to watch this video. Our words are so powerful..I've been working on this. From what I've learned children are in a hypnotic state until around 7? I try to use positive reinforcing words but when I get super frustrated I'm not as aware. This is a really great video. I'm going to share it with my husband.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

I love it when parents share with each other and are on the same page, KombuchaLiz. Honored to be on your team.

No matter how frustrating I am or when I lose my patient, I can still say to my four year old son that, "There is nothing in this world that you can't do!" or if some friends at his school/his toddler sister breaks something he builds, I can always tell him that because those friends and your little sister are not as good as you. They break one thing that you built, you can still build thousands or millions of them. Thanks to your videos! Your definetely helped me love my kids more and more everyday and will still try my best to better!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Lin Mcc, thank you for sharing. Please share with anyone else you think could benefit.

@linmcc9467

2 жыл бұрын

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Will do 😊

Wow, the link with fear ! That s spot on with what I needed to hear for myself. Thanks :)

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Hi A22 Lovelife, haven't heard from you in a bit, glad you liked the video.

You lifted such heavy burden in my heart. I always question myself "Am I a good parent? Am I doing the right thing? Am I hurting my child this way? Am I becoming like my mother? Etc." Haven't said most (of what you've mentioned? but I must admit, I have said some hurtful words. I regret it but I can't take it back.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

We all mess up, but we can apologize and move on with more positivity, maryam tube. It is good for kids to learn to give forgiveness.

@VolleyballMama

4 жыл бұрын

Same here I feel like I want to hug all my kids when they get home from school and just tell them how much I love them and to please forgive me for my mistakes but I’ll never quit on trying to better myself. It’s good that we can all try to forgive each other for sure.

@deeptajayakumar4964

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

I have said terrible things. My heart hurts. It hurts often. I feel so sad and exhausted. Suicidal thoughts frequently. I never leave the house. I think it’s vitamin d deficiency, lack of nutrients. Bought some vitamins and b12, watching these vids, trying to keep my anger controlled. I think I might be manic because I have ups and downs over days and weeks. Im trying to change. I have a 5 yr old boy, 4 yr old girl, and 2 yr old twins.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Jessica Van brocklin, you can do this. Reach out and get an evaluation. Take the time it needs, I know you have a lot going on, but when you take care or yourself, you will be able to give back more to your children.

@mistressevamzonia7087

3 жыл бұрын

Text himon whtsapp

@mistressevamzonia7087

3 жыл бұрын

+ 2 3 4 8 1 5 6 8 9 6 4 3 6📄

Stunning, where else do we get to hear such important truths. Dr Paul is THE most authentic teacher I have come across. I may be Walking in the Footsteps of a Giant, but it's a great problem to have🧠👏👏👏

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

You are very kind, Joe Jackson. I love doing this and am honored to have you on the channel!

Love this message. I will never forget when my dad told me at 11 that when I grow up and get married that I need to make sure to be lovable because my mother wasn't loveable. This was right after my parents divorce. To this day that thought process is the biggest cause of my anxiety in my marriage. Any mistakes or shortcoming I have my mind always connects the if I am not this then I am not loveable if I am not loveable I am worthless. Good thing I have an amazing husband.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

MamaM2015, I am happy for you.

@Kingsdaughter68

4 жыл бұрын

MamaM2015 that’s sad. Forgive him and move on. He said it when he was not in a good place with your mom

“Just try your best” by my parents and being told by the rest of the world I try too hard. I have no concept of boundaries and appropriate effort I have burned myself out time and again because only my best was good enough and if I didn’t do this I was guilt ridden

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

jennifree EH14, at least I think you now see how that had not served you well. I hope you are on your way to freeing yourself from the guilt. Listen in to my podcast sometime, Live On Purpose Radio, I think you could benefit from some of the previous episodes in this aspect.

@amberbrown1398

4 жыл бұрын

Me too.

@tinaholbrook9719

3 жыл бұрын

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I didn't know you had a podcast! I just looked it up. I'd love to listen to it, but want to make sure that the content is appropriate for my children (8 and 5 year old girls) to hear. I saw the episode on suicide and wasn't sure if that kind of stuff would be in other episodes without being titled that. I'm a stay at home homeschooling mom, so not often am I not around my kids. I like to listen to podcasts with them, but also don't want adult subjects to come up. Are the big difficult topics labeled for what they are, or do you sprinkle those themes through out other podcasts that wouldn't seem to be about that?

Great advise as always! Love this channel. 😊

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Jennifer Verdin. Glad to have you at Live On Purpose.

Alright, I will keep coming to learn and support this program.👏🏽thanks

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Awesome, we need to be force for positivity, Askalu Tewelde.

This is my favourite KZread channel.Thank you so much for your guidance.all these things help me to be a very good mother.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Sangeeth Niranjana, thank you. If you know of anyone that could use the message, please feel free to share.

Thank you so much Dr.Paul,always waiting for positive parenting video everyday before i go to sleep to remind myself that my job is to love my child no matter.😊😊😊

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Jessica Ilano. Thank you for watching.

Thank you, I found you when I needed the most to hear this! 🙏🏼💐

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

D L, love to hear it.

"Shut up!" I was repeatedly made fun of when I spoke and I was constantly told to shut up. I did for a year twice as a child and no one noticed. I no longer have a relationship with my family of origin.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

1969Vanessa G, glad you are surrounding yourself with more positive people.

@murphyshsu

4 жыл бұрын

“Shut up” definitely hurts.

@gabrielaczanner2627

4 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@dailykaizen8313

4 жыл бұрын

It sounds like you have chosen to define yourself based on your hurt feelings over your childhood reaction to two words "shut up". honestly, not communicating with your family of origin is a really hurtful thing to do to yourself and them. You walk around with that pain because you never reconciled it. You don't necessarily need closure from your family to heal BTW. also you need to get a grip and understand that shut up is not always a personal attack... sometimes people do need to be told to shut up. I sympathize with your pain but truthfully you are in the wrong.

@theresag1969

4 жыл бұрын

@@dailykaizen8313 Daily, do you know me or are you making assumptions from one comment. I wish your response was more circumspect and cogent without relying on assumptions. Try again.

Wow. I've been told every one of those through my childhood, and continuously told them.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you are here in our community.

This is one of the most valuable videos I have watched !!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Petar Kolev.

Wow, my mom did all of this, without learning from you. She's a natural talent I guess...

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Some people are natural at parenting, OB Joyful. They are usually the ones who had good parents to learn from.

@moiracolebourn3159

3 жыл бұрын

How about . . . "Go away, I'm NOT your Dad!" Which was delivered to ME at just eight years old. One day when I hurried in from playing, brimming with excitement. Only to be met with a newspaper and a silent response.

My 8 year old daughter begins most things by saying “I can’t,” and it’s heartbreaking. I don’t think my husband or I have ever said she couldn’t do something, but perhaps our actions have played a part in her mindset? We usually reassure her that she can do all of these things she claims she can’t or help guide her. I really hope we’re helping her to realise that she’s an amazing, lovable and capable young lady.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Kate Nelson, praise her efforts and when she is in the right mood, ask her why she thinks she can't do some things.

@src4409

Жыл бұрын

My grandmother always said "can't never did anything". This was mind altering to me. It really made me realize that I needed to explain my issue better... or try harder.

I never say them but thanks my parents said all of those things to me.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Nadhia Gurrola, glad you are choosing to parent positively.

Thank you for your channel so eye opening.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, sylvia timoney. Thank you for watching.

Anytime broaching a hard to stomach topic like death, which unfortunately we have had to deal with historically and very recently, I always say, “I’d like us to talk about “x” because I know you can handle it/are ready for it.”

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Natedoc808, what a great intro.

@Natedoc808

3 жыл бұрын

Caveat, you need to know your child is indeed ready for the conversation and tailor it to their current level, that way they don’t feel I inadequate if you go above their level and begin to have self doubt.

I have watched many of your videos already. Thank you so much I am very grateful. For the first time in a very long time my son told me he loved me today. Your methods work, they really work.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Wonderful! I am happy for you, Raul Duke.

My father raised me to know that everyone, even the people that love me will let me down throughout life. That is the truth, and it didn't damage me psychologically, or emotionally. And whenever it came out, and it did usually, it was like water off a duck's back.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Miffred Cuttlefish, good to know we are all human and will make mistakes. Good lesson to learn young.

Very cool, thank you for the advice.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, valentine attard, thank you for watching.

I like the end part. Say "you can..." Encouraging a child or anyone is the key. Someone told me "I can..." and that sparks something in me. I told someone "she can..." and I saw the movement in her that that energized her action and she did! 😊 Thanks for this beautiful tip, Dr. Paul.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Words, Stories & More, I love that you pass it on.

I'm so very grateful my parents never ever said any of those words to us!! 💪❣🙏 Our ex DIL came into the marriage with a hidden plane!! load of baggage of her serious family's dysfunctions, which of course she carried forward. She became verbally abusive in a narcissistic way and talked down to our grandchildren as they were growing up, was unsupportive, played favorites and even acted jealous towards her own kids!! Our son had an iron rule in their house having a whole different positive productive mindset... the word CAN'T was not allowed to be spoken by the children but encouragement to do their BEST, how to problemsolve, with him rolemodeling! As they grew older, it was revealed he was often sabotaged by his own wife! So counterproductive and painful to watch, saddling children with lifelong psychological struggles!!! She eventually was diagnosed with mental illness and lost all custody. Thank you for your educational public videos! 😇

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Shepherd Bella, thank you!

Thanks for the deep insight

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

My pleasure!

Love this!! Thank you so much!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Nicholas Hetcher, glad to have you at the channel.

We need to learn that before raising a child we need to teach and educate our selves first and Watch our language !!! Thank you for ALL your videos!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Well said!

Completely agree👍. I too do it unconsciously, I don't mean to but from a child's perspective it means a lot to them, it effects them a lott... Hope I will be aware of what I speak......

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

We can all become more aware, Zohra Imran. Thanks for watching.

Thank you, totally worth sharing this video.👍

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

I hope you share away, hermosisimamay. Honored to be on your team.

I honestly love this episode... “you can’t” yes you can 😍😍😍

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

shab nite, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for being a part of our positive community.

Amazing learn a lots from your video. Thank you for sharing.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are most welcome, Gode Wakana. Honored to be on your team.

Thank you for these informative Videos, they help a lot

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, kriti tiwari. Honored to be on your team.

You are an angel! Thank you for doing this!!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Honored to be on your team, Alnatureza. Thank you for watching.

Your amazing! I always look up to your videos for advice and become the most supporting and loving parent I can be.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

I love to hear those words, Elia Davis. So glad to hear you are showing up for your child everyday, that is what they need.

This man is gold.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

My mom said these things to me all the time. 💔

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Healing, Growing & Manifesting, honored to be on your team.

Very good. When I hear some parents say some of these things to their children I feel sorry for those kids. Every father should see this before the first sun.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Words are so powerful, Meirele. Thank you for being here.

@maryhamilton2027

5 жыл бұрын

All of those things we said to kids years ago now wonder so many of us oops have suffered childhood depression and adult depression as well God bless us all

Will not only help you to be a better parent but to be a better person thank you sir for this good videos.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

So nice of you, Joe Bello.

My stpdtr’s mother and grandmother, with whom she lived the first 13 yrs of her life, quite often “reminded” her of how stupid and ugly and bad she was. Actually, she’s smart, mature, beautiful, funny, creative, caring... I keep telling her she was told that she was ugly, etc for two reasons: they were jealous of her beauty and intelligence, and she reminded them of her dad. He and I have been trying to repair the damage for three yrs now. It’s not easy, but she’s worth it.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

So glad you can be another voice, Curlieq55. Keep talking and she can rise above the negativity.

So eye opening. Definitely applies to adults too

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Rachel G., yes it does. Adults need to get their act together and model what good behavior looks like.

I am learning for when I finally become a mother 🙂 thank you so much awesome video

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking your role as a parent seriously, your forward thinking is inspiring, Mae'Serenity Mykaa.

@mrsmaealtema5562

5 жыл бұрын

@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you 🤗💕

@Z.Nuriii

4 жыл бұрын

Yh, many parents need to take it serious bringing a child into this world.

Wow this was eye opening Thank you very much!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Carleigh Brouwer, Thank you for watching. Glad to have you at the channel.

Thank you for this. Ive been quite harsh at times. Thank you for teaching me to be a better parent. I'm a good mum but I wish to be better and this helps, even if it's only this. Thank you.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Midori Rora, Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

Thank you! You are amazing! God bless you!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Honored to be on your team, Libby Riggin.

Just AMAZING!!! You are!!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, honored to be on your team.

Thank you for caring S💝 much about children (of all ages)!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Michael Jackson Stories, I am glad it shows. I love all people.

Thanks for reminding us about the things we know we couldn't say to our children but do when we loose it. What I personally do not feel easy with is your saying, "no it is not the most psychologically damaging thing to many of the things we say." If a child continually hear one or two of the same thing on a regular basis. In my opinion they wold be the most damaging thing they can say to a child. However, parents unable to deal with frustrations, use many, if not all of these on a regular basis and cause their children long term inadequacy and a feeling of failure for the the rest of their life.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Angela Lurn Wai, thank you for the feedback, I am going by my experience, but you are right when we hear one thing over and over again it sinks in.

Thank you. Awesome video! So powerful and helpful!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Honored to be on your team, Virgie Mata!

Jeez... Reading this comments makes me realize how lucky I got with mine. How did I end up this messed up though? Actually he just started to talk about the lies parents tell us to protect us. That unfortunately my parents did do!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Jeka E Franco, All parents are human and make mistakes, just wish all were that, mistakes and not cruelty.

My 4yr and 5yr old Grandchildren moved in with me... This is an awesome video and thank you, CAN'T is not allowed in my house. I psychologically damaged my children as the damaging torch was unfortunately without any knowledge of the evil self worth powers it held. NOT this time!! My grand kids will not feel insecure, they will always know they tried. or gave it their best shot first.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching and commenting, Firelady65. I truly believe that people do the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at the time. What you did as a parent was the best you could do. When you know better, do better (Maya Angelou).

If my daughter messes up I tell her to not look at it like a fail but a lesson to learn. We all have to fall to learn to stand.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Dawn Cawthra, like they say at my wife's school, First Attempt In Learning. Makes kids want to try harder.

So true. I agree with every single thing you say.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Khad din, thank you!

Your amazing and quite wonderful. Thank you for this incredible information.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are most welcome, MIB. Thank you for watching.

Thank you so much... Very good advice

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching, Nadia Hannibal.

Great video! Thank you.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

wow, I feel good after watching this video. I hardly use any of these words. Well, I THINK (I hope it is true) that hardly any parents say these things in my country. I believe it is very uncommon to say these phrases. Although, of course, like ALL parents, I ALWAYS use 'never' and 'always'. no wait, actually, i grew out of that. I only sometimes say them to my husbound. Before I know it, it's out. Working on that. But seriously, I learned quite a bit from your videos, I am just happy that there are very little steps to be taken after seeing this one. Thanks for cheering me up

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Yvonne Roep, glad to have you at Live On Purpose. I am hoping with more education, less parents will be saying these things.

Thanks

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

David Mayfield, welcome.

Thank you

@LiveOnPurposeTV

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome, glad you are here.

Thank you very very much!

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

You are welcome!

God bless you Doc.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Pro Metheus.

My mother would say all of those. I grew up with insecurity and fear and so much lack of confidence. Failed at almost everything growing up and even in my young adulthood

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

I have heard this from way too many people, (actually one is too many). So glad you can see through what was said to you and create another mantra for yourself, S B.

I'd say the most damaging thing ever said to me was the "I wish I'd never had you kids! It ruined my life!." FrEaKiN OuCh! Still feel the emptiness in my chest and it's been 29 years.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

Жыл бұрын

Says more about them than you, but agreed, difficult to hear.

Thanks so much

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

Thanks for this opening eye video.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

5 жыл бұрын

You are welcome, Mrs Tréché. This one has hit a nerve.

And it's not only damaging to a child but also to adults or to anyone.

@LiveOnPurposeTV

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed!

Love your work! ❤️

@LiveOnPurposeTV

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Ania.

I always encourage my children and thought I am doing things right, but now I feel so guilty that I’m actually crying 😢 😔 I have said few of those words to them like they never clean their rooms or they never help😔..., thank you for your video

@LiveOnPurposeTV

4 жыл бұрын

Baran, I believe every parent does the best they know how with what they have. Now that you are more informed, you can move forward with how to do better. Thank you for watching.