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While the world of self-improvement has helped me in a lot of ways... sometimes that constant urge to improve is stressful

@nilimachetia314

2 жыл бұрын

But it is for our own good if we self improve so we can get rid of negative feelings more easily but self improve also means not being hard on ourselves. Take it easy

@00Mercredi00

2 жыл бұрын

That's true. Sometimes there's a fine line between "I need to do better" and "because I'm not good enough". I had to stop constantly improving to accept myself more. 😉

@laurelyspice

2 жыл бұрын

That is soo true. Sometimes its counterproductive☺

@imeaiwteh7540

2 жыл бұрын

@@nilimachetia314 literally what are you trying to imply because you did nothing but contradict yourself in one sentence. Obsession with improvement and productivity will drive you to self destruction and insanity. It’s not healthy. You’ll improve only when you fail and fail to improve, and acknowledge that you’re stalling and not progressing, or else you’d just be deluded and you’ll keep destroying your own progress by forcing yourself to improve non stop. There are limits to everything. Balance is key.

@ipekkutlu78

2 жыл бұрын

Right on! We are so much in our heads that we need to measure even our healing. Can't we just relax? I love watching my cats live their lives by and just wonder why didn't humans create a more loving and easier place to live? Human experience with added human fabricated stressors is getting out of control. We need to realize of what actually being human is?

She is our older sis that every person needs 😭❤️

@namegoesfirstthenlastname1785

2 жыл бұрын

Yessss

@wrenweasley

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

@jamesnoonan9302

2 жыл бұрын

She's young

@katherineandreaburgosjuare2533

2 жыл бұрын

she is!!!

@moonchild-ne4zm

2 жыл бұрын

@@jamesnoonan9302 so? age has nothing to do with wisdom

I feel like i'm always pushing myself too hard and then beating myself over not achieving what i planned to achieve, or for feeling tired or overwhelmed with everything. This video couldn't have come at a better time.

@lmo459

9 ай бұрын

I feel exactly the same!! ❤

A quick tip for some people: your inner critic doesn't have to be a voice, it can also be a feeling. I never think "I need to do more", it's a feeling I get and unnoticed I'll act on that feeling.

A time ago I was seeing my old photos and cried so bad, I've damaged myself in many different ways, seeing that cute, happy girl broke my heart. I started trying to treat myself as I would treat my younger self. Since then, I've been slowly getting better, eating better and I'm actually improving in being less mean to myself. Life feels lighter.

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

@ud7089

Жыл бұрын

I can say First 13 years of my life I had many problems n issues N stuff that cud cause anxiety or depression But I was happy mostly From age 18-24 I was so traumatised Depressed anxious As a woman I lost my best years to depression trauma Overthinking Lost But it's ok From last year I've been learning to do things slowly I won't b healed until 50 it seems I am 25 and a half now

@curlsarestudying5137

Жыл бұрын

I feel like that right now… now it’s getting hard to let go of guilt.

I was literally crying ab how I was being soo critical and being hard on myself and the second I opened up this app your video was the first thing I saw 😩😩 god is good ❤️ thank you

@anjalipal1845

2 жыл бұрын

Man....oh my godd..I was also crying after journaling and noticing how harsh I was..... 🥺🌸🌸

@sammyrei295

2 жыл бұрын

I was having the same problem today I can’t believe how good the timing was on this I needed it and sounds like others did too

@sanskrutibarot9796

2 жыл бұрын

I have the same problem ❤️. Read Bhagvad Gita As It Is by Srila Prabhupada if you can.

@NickesChau

2 жыл бұрын

Same as you, I was struggling and keep telling myself “love myself” and “you are good enough” , and then I opened the app to see this video! Thanks God

@mason4903

2 жыл бұрын

no thats the government helping you out

Our parents really put unnecessarily high expectations on us as children. This is why I'm almost glad my father passed so I can have that representation of high expectations from him die off with him. I'm comfortable with having a simple and easy lifestyle. I don't need to force myself to achieve goals based off of fear and acceptance. It's foolish and a tradition that I'm glad it's being broken among younger generations of people.

@himh01

2 жыл бұрын

I also feel I'll be better off once my dad passes.

honestly, the part where you talk about your own struggles is so meaningful. I can't possibly tell you how much I appreciate that you made yourself so vulnerable. it was deeply touching and created some kind of connection, I guess. I just want you to know that it's 100% worth it.

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

thank you 💓

I'm so hard on myself because I feel I lived in a shell during all my adolescence. I didn't experience enough and stayed too safe. Since I turned 20 I started to get out of my comfort zone and live my true self

honestly I wish I showed myself more care and empathy as I show my friends. I feel like Im definitely more critical of myself while im empathetic towards friends

Our brains are wired for automatic negative thoughts - but that doesn't mean we are stuck with them! The story we tell our brains is SO important, because our brains believe them, and our lives are built outwards from that. Thank you for sharing your story and your insights! :-)

@chickenlittle4014

2 жыл бұрын

I love the words you choose, you are nice and constructing your sentences

I listen this on my way to work and I almost cry 🥺 I know I was being hard on myself but I just don’t want to admit it. I think I need to sit down with my journal and watch this again.

@carolinakoi3356

2 жыл бұрын

I have this feeling too 🥺

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

Sending you love 💓 it’s okay to be patient with yourself

Constantly being hard on yourself gets exhausting. You’ll eventually hit a wall because you’ll start to feel that nothing you do is enough. Choose to relieve yourself from the pressure. From a self love content creator to another; great video Aileen! ❤️

@F0reverblessed

2 жыл бұрын

@@fullsunoo I can comment at the beginning, middle or end of a video. I don’t have to wait until the video is over Conan.

U said "It's not your fault." N I ended up in tears 😢

I am basically a walking insecurity, and I've learned that I am horrible at celebrating my wins. My therapist told me to write a few wins each day, but each day I end up unable to think of any- and my dad's had to help me a fair number of times. Thank you for reminding me to work on that :)

@studywithmedstudent4459

2 жыл бұрын

My therapist told me the same thing! And she said keep it in front of you and remind yourself how great you are!good luck

I think the reason I was being so hard on myself was because I wanted to achieve a certain goal in a certain amount of time but that's not helping because that's what creates the tension and if you don't achieve it that causes self hatred.

I can definitely relate, coming from a Nigerian household, where there is so much pressure on your acing your studies. This puts so much fear and pressure on your neck that you don’t want to take an L. When really you learn so much from taking an L. We are all not perfect sometimes you gotta take Ls to get the Ws

I was being very hard on myself last night and cried about how I also wasn’t good enough. Work evals are rough this time of the year and negative thoughts tend to snowball for me. I saw your video this morning and it helped me so much to center myself again. I don’t know if you will read this comment, but thank you for creating content like these to become our true genuine self. 💖 I hope you have a wonderful day Aileen! ☺️

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

Sending you love 💓💓

*To all the dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and right people, ANYTHING is possible...*

@ourhaven

2 жыл бұрын

You are a blessing from The greatest God to us! Every comment of yours is so beautiful and motivating 💕

This is everything I needed today. Lots of tears, lots of reflection, and lots of healing on the way. Thank you for this Aileen.

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

❤️

@LoBrookeMusic

2 жыл бұрын

same... with tears comes healing right :)

I suffer from toxic productivity and really felt this video. Thanks for the awesome message!

Never related more to the title, I'm always hard on myself, you're a life saver Aileen! Thank you so much!

The timing of this is crazy. I just had a very emotinal talk with my bf about this an hour ago.. Thank you for this upload!

I did the exercise and felt emotional after doing it ❤️

Needed this 💜🌈

@diazjd1591

2 жыл бұрын

Let's get connected Natalies

@mason4903

2 жыл бұрын

What's the rainbow 4??/

Your personal situation is similar to mine. Having a narsisstic father and a very unhealthy family dynamic made me mentally sick. I too am in therapy and its been 6 months and it takes so much time and healing. Its in so many layers as you said. The thoughts of i am not good enough, i am not doing enough, i am worthless bcs noone is there for me. They dont Love me, i am not worthy of love, i have to work hard to be loveable..these are mine 🙈 i had a trauma attack yesterday after meeting a friend and holding back, not being completely myself. I did breakdown in tears after i came home and started to reflect but truely i was just so hard on myself and all the things i shouldnt do, i did and i slipped into all the bad selftalk and destructive behaviour. Once again i understood that all of this is rooted deeper than i thought and this video is everything i actually learned and did in therapy but it was a refresher and helped me so much right now. Thank you so much Eileen. 💖

I just tried the exercise with imagining yourself as a child. Just wanted to say that it helped me quite a lot realising how negative and unfair the thoughts were that I had in my head during the past weeks. To me this was better than just imagining someone else because it is more connected to your personal experience and the imagery of a child touched me. Thank you for your video, your content and the way you convey it. It is really helpful!🤍

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

Happy it helped ❤️❤️

I’m in a really high expectation family as well (Japanese tho), and my parents always tell me that I should do better/they expected better. I’m part of a GATs (gifted and talented) class, so my life is really competitive, and everyone’s really smart and sporty and sometimes I feel like I’m never enough. At this point, my teacher is a jerk, and when I delivered this speech, I got full marks BUT he chose someone who got lower marks then me only because he basically hates me… that made me fell really sad for like days, and now I find myself either ridiculously rude and sarcastic to him, or meek and quiet… looking at photos I took a few years ago (I was around 5), it brought tears to my eyes, the little girl there was so carefree, unlike my weighed down self now.

For me, I punish myself and it’s irrational, it takes me a moment for release that painful thoughts, I feel that I have to archive all in the moment. But I’m tired of my thoughts and all the things I "have" to do and finally I don’t do nothing, I’m always tired. And like you, for recibe attention from my parents since a kid, I needed to archive things, like good grades, and now I feel obligated to continue studying, although I love learning and I’m studying something I like. It’s so confuse and I feel I wanna go away of all.

I've always been hard on myself. One of the goals I had since I was a child was to be a self-confident and very productive person by the age of 18... now that I am 18 I feel like a failure and too old to start again because I have not achieved that goal and I have not been so productive lately and I feel sooo guilty.. Guilt and overthinking is holding me back and I am trying to forget my age and try to get back on track!

You're so right about really getting a time to relax. I took me a while to understand that, this is NOT your typical Relax, watch netflix, play videogames, go to the movies, have beer with friends, etc. Like you said, and I don't find it cliche, not a single bit. To relax on a deeper level, and the only way to that you have to move your body in order to connect with it, either walking or doing Yoga, that's the way to really go blank and have real peace of mind. Thank you Aileen.

@Coglitics

Жыл бұрын

I kick the soccer ball around and am whole again.

literally just had a breakdown last night for this exact reason, and when I woke up this video pops up in my recommended. the universe is here to help

Having expectations on yourself is good only as long as it is motivating you rather than stressing you out

Needed this! Thanks for sharing these tips 💜💜💜

I really needed to hear this today, thank you 💕

Fear was instilled within me as a child too. It made me become a perfectionist to the point where if I make a mistake, especially in work, I have a panic attack.

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

Wow, sending you love & healing ❤️✨

@DaphneGsell

2 жыл бұрын

@@lavendaire thank you so much 💕

Thank u so much aileen , your content always come to me at the right time 💛

Thank you! 💖

Thanks Aileen, I really needed this.

Thanks for your message !

I really needed these reminders ! Thank you Aileen💘

Thank you 💗✨

i love this message

Thanks for the tips💫💖 ily

Thank you for this🙏🏻

I really really needed this and this is very timely 😭❤️

THANK YOU ❣

I exactly needed this thankyou so much

Love that color grading and also the message, keep thrivin'!

Another great video 💛 they are like therapy for me 😌

really needed this ❤️ i love you videos thank you so much

Thank you so much for this! 💖

Aileen! Thank you for being so inspirational and helpful ❤️ You helped me out of a dark place without even knowing it! ❤️

I needed this today. Thank you.

Loved this video. Thanks Eileen x

Love reading your comments on this one! Btw, we’re launching our new 2022 Artist of Life Workbook and Weekly Planner on 10/22! If you’re on the email list, you’ll get access to our exclusive soft launch on 10/21 😊 join the mailing list here: lavendaire.com/mail

@kaesowna4478

2 жыл бұрын

What's the artist life workbook!? ♡

@itsPujaMahapatra07

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks Aileen once again! 😇

@nurahudu3478

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much because I needed to hear that and your advice about self love though I didn’t like it at first but when it appeared on Home Screen I thought I could use some real life advice because I was also hard on myself because I need to do some changes for myself as well my own character whenever my dad say aoothu billah he mean may Allah save you, and it worked and that’s by making me give up whatever is making this way, because that’s what expected me to do plus the chores and whatsoever and would even yell at me for doing something wrong whenever I screw up

@nurahudu3478

2 жыл бұрын

@@kaesowna4478 A book you use to write about what life you want and the person you wish to be

@lavendaire

2 жыл бұрын

You can see the current version here: lavendaire.com/workbook

thank you so much

I resonate with all of this so heavily. Thank you for making this video. 💖

Preach sis!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 my exact childhood in a nutshell! Thank you for laying out so beautifully. 💕

Thank u Aileen. Very inspiring

thank you soo much, you helped me a lot💗

very timely! this is what I exactly feel right now 😭 thank you for this 💛

Love you Aileen!! Quaoo this is such a healing video! Thank you for ur bright lovely vibe 🥰

Your content is just getting better and better, thank you for the exercises I am excited to do them💕

Brilliant video. thank you x

Love this thank you

Thank you Aileen ❤️

Wow loved this, resonates with me soo much!!! I found your channel today, so glad

Your videos always show up in my subscription feed when I need them the most 💛

I loove your channel i´m addict to it, tnks for this videos 💜

Omg aileen thank you 💖 You always give me so much positive energy and make me feel peace 🌻🌿

This channel always helps me to heal♥️

Thanks a million Aileena for making this video .. this is helping me quite a lot 💜

You always put out videos on the right timing! I LOVE YOU!

Thanks love 💞

Just what I needed. My brother recently told me "don't be too hard on yourself" and made me think about it for a while.

Love the openness, vulnerability, and honesty. Thank you! So very helpful!!:)

I miss your vlogssss! 💜

Thank you for sharing your light with the world 🖤 I’ve learned so much from your content!

needed this today

Thank you sooo much lots of loveee ❤❤❤❤

Thank you for this video!

Thank you for sharing! this is just what I needed to hear this week! I love the exercise for why I feel this way, I need to journal more often and be aware of my feelings and why I feel this way.

Perfect time as always💕

It was so good and relatable, thank you Aileen

Thank you 💓 Sending you love 💕

I just loved this channel 🥰🥰

Thank you for taking the time to really explain each step in this video, it was extremelly helpful 💜

You are helping me through so much ♡♡♡

I totally relate. Thanks for motivation.

this is so on point! I think more of us are going through something like that than we actually notice.A sign we should be more understanding to one another too

Thanks for the video really helpful!

Love this!!!

I so appreciate this video. Thank you!

I love this video. I don’t normally comment but felt the need to today. Thank you

Wow, this has really been what I'm going through lately. thanks Aileen

I literally relate to every word. I have been feeding off of my parents' and friends' and strangers' approval for my self worth!!! Thanks so much for sharing❤️

this is perfect timing!! I really NEED THIS, to remind me this, to listen to this!! thank youuu 😭💘💛💕💖

This is what I need everyday. Thank you for this informational video. 💖