What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You Know

In today's video, we're going to explore what happens when the narcissist knows you know. We'll talk about the 5 different types of reactions that the narcissist may have, and how to best respond if you're the one who knows.
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Hi, I'm Kenny Weiss 👋
My channel is all about speaking truth and taking responsibility for healing our emotional pain so we can reclaim our authentic selves.
I will be providing you the skills and tools to heal childhood trauma, childhood emotional neglect, codependency, narcissistic abuse, stress, shame, fear, anger, sadness, self-deception, self- sabotage, depression, divorce, relationship problems, parenting, parental alienation, estrangement, addiction, mental health, mindset, self-love, the worst day cycle and more.
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Пікірлер: 442

  • @keonagrace
    @keonagrace9 ай бұрын

    “Nobody can make me think, do, feel, or believe anything unless I let them. I’m responsible for that.” Pure gold🏆

  • @Danger_Bunnyyy

    @Danger_Bunnyyy

    7 ай бұрын

    Taking notes 📝

  • @MassMultiplayer

    @MassMultiplayer

    4 ай бұрын

    thats whyn i dont let people with no health no time no wealth insult me for being a single men with health time and wealth i dont let them project their misery

  • @koshinwarsame8430

    @koshinwarsame8430

    20 күн бұрын

    Good for you. What has that earned the rest of us. Rub it won’t you

  • @vn9345
    @vn93453 ай бұрын

    This is the best advice I have had so far , that stop trying to figure them out and just work on your own healing

  • @athenagriego4561
    @athenagriego45614 ай бұрын

    I'm going through the character assassination 😅😅😅😅😅😅 but because I watch these videos it doesn't hurt me anymore.

  • @jjule85azzuro4

    @jjule85azzuro4

    Ай бұрын

    Awesome!

  • @oraclehaveacookie9737
    @oraclehaveacookie97379 ай бұрын

    Never sleep, marry or have kids with a narcissist woman or man. Period.

  • @jessicatobias9371

    @jessicatobias9371

    2 ай бұрын

    Too late. He is three. Thankfully, he didn't want to marry me (his words )

  • @AQuietSole
    @AQuietSole10 ай бұрын

    All I wanted was for my mom to love me. She had 5 babies die before I was a twinkle in my parents eyes. I could never please her inspite of being a great child. I was 51 y/o when I finally stood up to my mom!! Best day of my life. Now we rarely speak. Her loss, not mine!

  • @lakebafondren5868

    @lakebafondren5868

    10 ай бұрын

    All throughout my childhood my emotional needs were minimized. I learned through therapy to look out for my own needs first before that of others and to stop ignoring when my needs are being minimized or ignored. Once when I was having a discussion with my parent about something and said “ Hey remember when….”, they went off on me because all they could reference was the trauma that was going on with them at the time. They out of their own guilt they felt like I was indirectly pointing a finger at them. They started screaming “I don’t want to talk about it!” I had to remind them that I was there and had to live the trauma WITH them and it was a part of my history and I had a right to refer to it because it was something I lived through too. I explained to them that it was never my intent to blame them, but they needed to figure out what kind of relationship they wanted with me (deep or shallow) because I would abide by their decision. If I have to be guarded all the time in what I say around them, then we’d proceed with having a shallow relationship, but if they could stop feeling like every time I open my mouth I’m pointing the finger at them, then we could have a deep and significant relationship. Those were my boundaries. Thankfully, they chose the latter. I’m grateful the pleasant relationship we developed the last 10 years of their life. And it was all because I put my foot down and insisted on my boundaries not being violated.

  • @treshasstarr1513

    @treshasstarr1513

    4 ай бұрын

    I stood up to my pedo father, I realize I wanted my “dad” but was not in that capacity to fulfill that for me, I let him go He’s now smearing me, but I know it’s not true so I do t care

  • @KM-oj4jk

    @KM-oj4jk

    3 ай бұрын

    🙏

  • @socol76

    @socol76

    3 ай бұрын

    I was 42 when I stood up to mine

  • @jessicatobias9371

    @jessicatobias9371

    2 ай бұрын

    25 felt so good. My chest never felt lighter.

  • @e.r.4447
    @e.r.44479 ай бұрын

    Hey don’t blame yourself please. No shame, no guilt, trauma litteracy and psychology were not taught in high school. You still have this worthiness they wanted to steal from you. You are powerful, you have power and choice because you know better. Be proud that they failed to take your soul and the wholeness of you. 2,3,4 years from now you gonna look at you and be more proud of your strength and resilience. The universe loves you so much!

  • @carvalone3076
    @carvalone307610 ай бұрын

    If you're trying to heal from narc abuse this is one of the most important videos you'll ever listen to. Thank you, Sir!!!! 🙏❤

  • @sp4rtavus244

    @sp4rtavus244

    9 ай бұрын

    I agree

  • @MassMultiplayer

    @MassMultiplayer

    4 ай бұрын

    having a happy healthy rich life is my favorite way to get my revenge since they are unhealthy unhappy and poor.

  • @tinyfacemcgee9211
    @tinyfacemcgee921110 ай бұрын

    I like it when you talk about us being in a child state and giving them all the power as if they are our parent. How crazy are we!

  • @more444store6

    @more444store6

    9 ай бұрын

    I did that. My husband was in some ways like a father figure to me. He had all the control.

  • @hellcat1401

    @hellcat1401

    6 ай бұрын

    Kind of like a step parent who is a narc.

  • @dsharmanj11
    @dsharmanj117 ай бұрын

    This is the first time anyone has clearly expressed and explained my own experience. The most important thing he says is to recognize your childhood "trauma". If you don't, you'll repeat it in another relationship.

  • @christinefury1040
    @christinefury104010 ай бұрын

    You gave some advice that most do not. “Focus on why you missed the signs of the Narc. To begin with. Forgive yourself but work hard to understand yourself.

  • @69judge27
    @69judge2710 ай бұрын

    THEY CALL THE COPS. 😎🎸

  • @teresarodriguez821

    @teresarodriguez821

    10 ай бұрын

    My Narcissistic eldest sister called the police on me in an argument she created by gaslighting me. The officer took her side and called me a 'racist' I reported him to his Lieutenant and my sister was furious that she could no longer manipulate a police officer.

  • @Bellatrix28618

    @Bellatrix28618

    10 ай бұрын

    Yes!! He called the cops on me after pinning me down and threatening to kill me and throwing me full force Into my closet- breaking my shoe rack!! So twisted 😢

  • @user-jz7yu2zc1h

    @user-jz7yu2zc1h

    10 ай бұрын

    They would contact Child Protective Services if you have children. They will control how you are perceived by others if they cannot control you. A complete idiot!

  • @raegeh-fv9sm

    @raegeh-fv9sm

    10 ай бұрын

    Evil step monster order Christmas gifts for her biological sons. Called police on me and accused me of identity fraud and tried to get me arrested. Told her and the police if she didn't order items she should call the company and inform them that the order is fraud and cancel order. Then she should go to the post office and inform them of the fraud and ask that they not deliver the package. She did none of that and continued to call the police many times and keep the items she ordered.

  • @EternalflameC.L.

    @EternalflameC.L.

    10 ай бұрын

    Omg this literally 😵‍💫

  • @AshleyMintz
    @AshleyMintz3 ай бұрын

    This is such a good video! I didn't truly heal after dealing with a narcissist until I got real about the fact that I was getting something out of being codependent with the narcissist. It's hard to explain this to people who are early in their healing journey after narcissistic abuse.

  • @Brandonp76
    @Brandonp765 ай бұрын

    Finally somebody said it. It’s on me to do the work on myself, not understand why the narcissist is the way that they are. The real question is. Why was I attracted to them… Thank you.

  • @maryellenyork2819
    @maryellenyork281910 ай бұрын

    Lol. When he told me how awful I was as a child, I called my parents, siblings and friends in the country where I grew up to ask if I behaved that way. Everyone was shocked because I was not like that at all. That's when I considered projection and realized his every accusation was self-revelation. It gave me compassion but he ran to a new source of supply.

  • @leanne123

    @leanne123

    10 ай бұрын

    Don't bother with the compassion for him gf He has none for you.

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart4 ай бұрын

    I knew my childhood was messed up when I was a teen. Though it was shocking, the first time my store manager said to me when I was 16 “ your parents are weird.” Then it was a relief because I knew it was true. My mom actually attacked me when I was 23 or so. At first she tried to hit me in the face. I grabbed her arms, and I restrained her. She screamed for my dad acting victimized. I immediately let her go. As I walked away to get in my car, she attacked me from behind and knocked me to the ground. My dad said don’t ever step foot on this property again. I replied, for your sake go see a Psychiatrist. You are mentally ill. Yep, typical 2 year old brain thought pattern/ behavior. I had not had any therapy yet. I did know the truth. What I also learned later is about the cycle. 😢My boyfriend who I married is a Covert Narcissist. Guess what? I’m not a magical/ mystical human being that’s fantasy. I am an empath. Simply stated I am overly obsessed with being empathetic. So much so that I did not follow my intuition when I saw the first 5 red flags 🚩 about my boyfriend at the time. And run away. Watching your videos, enables me to do a lot of journaling. Thanks for helping me process. I honestly don’t think anyone reads my comments. Don’t Care. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @cocomaire
    @cocomaire10 ай бұрын

    Wow. Getting tangled with a narcissist was what made me start really examining my childhood. I had loving parents, but they both had traumatic childhoods. They did a lot of their own inner work, but some of the trauma did pass to me. I’m trying not to pass it to my children. Thanks for the clear explanation

  • @daeclipse03

    @daeclipse03

    8 ай бұрын

    Same. Kind of a blessing in disguise honestly. I know what's been holding me back in prior relationships and more importantly what caused that trauma in my childhood.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u

    @SusanaXpeace2u

    4 ай бұрын

    Same. after I escaped my abusive x and I started noticing that they both SHUT DOWN "my side" instantly, and not just shut me down but also both acted the victim of my having considered that there was another perspective. I began to realise, this frustration is familiar. Because of my parents I ended up with people around me who also believed, there is one perspective; MINE, and your attempt to present another perspective is outrageous!! I realised it was the same mixture of emotions. Frustration, shame and injustice!!

  • @HeavyMetalChick_333
    @HeavyMetalChick_33310 ай бұрын

    No one and I mean no one deserves abuse of any kind for any reason whatsoever!!! I don't care what they have done or haven't done!!! If you can't try to be kind, loving, and respectful to everyone, then you should keep your mouth shut and not hurt others. Stop trying to control what others do, say, their appearance, and etc. Mind your own business, take care of your own life, help others when you can, respect everyone and yourself, and don't crap on others!!!

  • @twinkletee22
    @twinkletee226 ай бұрын

    It’s like they have to OBLITERATE you

  • @IsaiahHardy
    @IsaiahHardy10 ай бұрын

    My mom has definitely escalated all of these since I’ve finally made it to where I can be on my own and told her I’m done. Ain’t falling for it though.

  • @leanne123

    @leanne123

    10 ай бұрын

    Hurray !! Free at last !! 🎉🥳

  • @IsaiahHardy

    @IsaiahHardy

    10 ай бұрын

    @@leanne123 🙏🏾❤️

  • @myrtenuman621

    @myrtenuman621

    9 ай бұрын

    My mother expressed the opinion that I needed electro-shock therapy because I refused to have any contact with her. Big hug and good luck to you.

  • @jilross4892
    @jilross489210 ай бұрын

    So they are fully aware of what they are doing

  • @Angel_eyes___

    @Angel_eyes___

    10 ай бұрын

    They have to control. Oh the projection is unbelievable.

  • @treshasstarr1513

    @treshasstarr1513

    4 ай бұрын

    Fully

  • @katiecat5500
    @katiecat550010 ай бұрын

    So evil to attack the wounded child.

  • @nga672
    @nga6726 ай бұрын

    OMG Kenny I am just so grateful for the sharing of your knowledge. I needed this 20 years ago - thank you for giving it to me now. George Elliot said, “ It’s never too late to be the person you should have been”.

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    6 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @brendanthebdog
    @brendanthebdog10 ай бұрын

    Thanks for this one Kenny! After dating the latest iteration of my mom, I knew I couldn't keep repeating the same pattern. I really was just living out that worst day cycle. Despite years of weight lifting, martial arts training, and even firefighting; there I was, a toddler freezing or fawning while being abused. Traveling back in time to some enraged lunatic hurling my toy firetruck down the stairs and breaking it while telling me I did to myself and I deserve it and I'm lucky that's all she did. Hurts like hell man! Narcissists are easy to figure out in the present, they are damaged, hurtful people that are generally intolerable. I just needed the approval of someone who I genuinely believe toyed with the thought of killing me as a child. Seriously, it sends a cold shudder down my spine to remember how she reacted to the Andrea Yates story when I was a kid.

  • @fruitypopwhickle6806

    @fruitypopwhickle6806

    9 ай бұрын

    I don't know you, Brendan, but I know you didn't deserve any of what you went through. You're a remarkable person for not only surviving, but wanting to be and do better than the individual who hurt you. Peace, light and healing to you.

  • @ancyeulalie1211
    @ancyeulalie121119 күн бұрын

    All of this happened to him so that we could be guided, this is prophet hood.

  • @Kathy-kr1sv
    @Kathy-kr1sv10 ай бұрын

    55 years old SON. ALL 5 NO CONTACT

  • @jdaustin7073
    @jdaustin707310 ай бұрын

    I'm going through all of these right now. I had just the kind of childhood you talk about and it made me an easy victim. After 20+ years of her abusive DARVO BS I caught her cheating. Over that 20+ years I was working through my childhood trauma issues. I gave her 6 months to transition to the other house to lower the impact on our kids and get into therapy so she wouldn't screw up our kids. After waiting over 100 days with her waffling back and forth saying she would grant the divorce and making threats I outed everything publicly in the vaguest way I could. She did the Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender thing responding with personal attacks that were lies and half truths to assasinate my character and make me look like a monster and pervert. I responded, and defended... she used it to twist things even further. She's started therapy and gone to two sessions; I think she's already charmed the guy. I just want to protect my kids from that darkness in her!

  • @koshinwarsame8430

    @koshinwarsame8430

    20 күн бұрын

    I’m sorry. Reading that hurt 😔

  • @jozillagorilla1263
    @jozillagorilla12633 ай бұрын

    I'm glad I came across this. I've been stuck in that spiral of watching videos on narcissism for over a year. I need to move forward after what she did, but I also feel like I need to understand her so i don't fall for her manipulative tactics she keeps trying to use. She left me with primary custody of our six kids. I'm trying to avoid her traps so I can take care of them.

  • @0neandOnlyyy
    @0neandOnlyyy27 күн бұрын

    I got fired for making it known that I knew my "director" was a Narcissist and had been gaslighting myself, other employees and patients. She started writing me up for real petty things and then bold faced lied with her reasons for terminating me....👹

  • @jjule85azzuro4
    @jjule85azzuro4Ай бұрын

    Yes! The reaction and the trauma it causes. When I stopped taking the bait. The made up blackmail started. Than the victim. The name calling . The pure gold is understanding exactly what this video is talking about and no longer getting sucked in.

  • @sassymango9369
    @sassymango936910 ай бұрын

    Kenny is out here dropping truth bombs 💯

  • @stylist62
    @stylist622 ай бұрын

    Wow, he always knew, I was continually figuring him out, he kept changing tactics, always trying to get me to fight, almost killed me, from cruelty to harmless victim, I had no idea what I was dealing with, felt bad for him. He did everything you say, slowly chipped away at me until I was traumatized

  • @codrake784
    @codrake784Ай бұрын

    Over several months now, I have been watching numerous videos of how to deal and cope with people who has a Narcissistic trait. By far, this is the best video I have seen of how Kenny Weiss actually describes the dynamics and what causes a person to become a Narcissist. This is so bloody true, and I am actually amazed how of how the origin started. Thank you very much. Wonderful advice.

  • @user-lj8kc3dv4g
    @user-lj8kc3dv4g9 ай бұрын

    I lived with my sister, and I realized she was a covert narcissist , when I didn’t do what she wanted , and I set a boundary, she got insane, , physical abuse with me , and evicted me from her house, I was paying her rent , but she still evicted me . I was living on Social Security alone. And she did not care . I ended up, living in a shelter for over two months, before I could get a place to live. She kept taking me to court on Domestic Violence charges, that were bogus, and were always thrown out of court. I’m still suffering from the mental abuse from her. I moved to another county and she found me and I don’t feel safe. And no one can help me. !!!! She’s very vengeful and spiteful and I never know what she’ll do next. ???!😢😢😢. I can’t get a way from her. !!!! The Law. Can’t do anything for me. !!!! I don’t feel. SAFE 😢😢😢😢. FROM. HER. 😢😢😢😢😢😢

  • @oraclehaveacookie9737

    @oraclehaveacookie9737

    9 ай бұрын

    Thats why I dont have facebook or I tell anyone where I am. And by the way. Even if they track you down probably they cant do nothing to you. Go to the police denounce them. And to a dr and talk about your trauma with them. Leave bread crumbs of their behaviour everywhere and everyone.

  • @smustipher
    @smustipher7 ай бұрын

    I knew I turned a corner in my healing journey when a relative with narcissistic traits (whom I have housed, supported financially, and managed care for after they sustained a TBI) told me, after I confronted them about a poor decision they made, told me that I have been "undermining them for their whole life". Rather than feeling upset or defending, I just felt grateful that I understood them better and could manage my interactions with them accordingly going forward.

  • @huruduru5144
    @huruduru51445 ай бұрын

    These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL! Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. because they feel this..

  • @audionerdlilcuz
    @audionerdlilcuz16 күн бұрын

    As soon as my ex-spouse gave me a devious smirk after me calling out a victim-like flop they did to look like physical abuse took place was when I started divorce work. I was not going to let her set me up. Checked out right then and there. These ppl are evil!

  • @emmsue1053
    @emmsue10534 ай бұрын

    ""Its *their life its none of our business" Very true. Adults are capable of making their own decisions. WE can smile, be evasive, ignore.. A sense of humour can carry you through! Thank you.

  • @mortdigo
    @mortdigoАй бұрын

    What a refreshing video....biggest messege for me from this vid is to stop focusing on them and get on with your life :-)

  • @a4ordablehair
    @a4ordablehair8 ай бұрын

    This is the most helpful video I’ve watched thus far.. I’m definitely in the “hyperfocusing on them” part HEAVILY.. and I tell myself ALLL the time “but how do I heal from this?!” So glad you said get on with your life.. I think sometimes we just need to hear someone else say it❤❤❤❤❤

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    8 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @whitelily4705
    @whitelily470519 күн бұрын

    Your words are saving my life. Yes, it's my turn! Thank you Kenny.

  • @amberc000
    @amberc0004 ай бұрын

    Incredible advice. I appreciate your gentle approach at delivering such bluntness. Thank you.

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    4 ай бұрын

    You are so welcome!

  • @rosieobi9260
    @rosieobi926010 ай бұрын

    My childhood has me a bit confused. I had a loving mother but she was a widowed deaf mute. In being so, life was black and white never empathetic. It also came with little general conversation other than what really needed to be said. Raising 3 small children on her own and trying to make ends meet meant she worked hard. She did also have trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms. What I find hard about all this is I know she wasn't those negative influences in my life because she wanted to be or didn't love me/us. I'm not sure where to begin to heal from this childhood. I know she did all she could to help us all survive our lot in life. 🤷

  • @EveofPyrite

    @EveofPyrite

    10 ай бұрын

    Wow bless her heart . It must have been hard on her doing all that alone. Also it must have been hard on you being raised that way.

  • @rosieobi9260

    @rosieobi9260

    10 ай бұрын

    @@EveofPyrite ❤️

  • @user-hi6qn6np6u

    @user-hi6qn6np6u

    5 ай бұрын

    She probably learned this to Coupe with the Difficulties She had to Live in the World in Her own way. I couldn’t begin to understand how difficult it would be. My Heart goes out to You all though and could understand where your Compassion is coming from for Her. You have a Giving Heart to be this way and it is Tough to not receive that what you obviously need to feel whole from this Relationship. Don’t expect it though, to not detach and become Cold is the Difficulty I see. I wish I could do more for you, but I Pray for You and your Family ❤

  • @Nylon_riot

    @Nylon_riot

    4 ай бұрын

    When they say trauma, it can be anything from alcoholism, to depression to emotional apathy. I am a disability rep and worked with the school for the deaf. From what I understand that the deaf community can havve emotional illness or dysregulation because of the deafness itself, because they don't get to interact with anyone else like able people can. It is very isolating. I have had multiple deaf friends who self reported this to me It makes me sad. How lonely it must be.

  • @madbee3
    @madbee34 ай бұрын

    And an undiagnosed autism girl with a narcissistic mother and an aloof father which was his answer to keep peace with her

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart4 ай бұрын

    Kenny, I told my husband if you attempt to intimidate me by getting in my face being verbally abusive I am calling the police. Some don’t realize that verbal abuse is domestic violence.

  • @msdukaaa
    @msdukaaa4 ай бұрын

    "The sky is Purple Kenny, just look at the painting behind you. The one with the purple clouds and purple sky. My God! This is what you always do. You start arguing about anything. You know, this is how you probably forced your ex to leave you. I hope this time, you realize it and apologize to me. And be glad I am not reminding you of what you did to me last week. Next time you do this to me I will leave you and take the dog."

  • @MaiBarslev
    @MaiBarslev4 ай бұрын

    We allways talk about parents, what about violent manipulating siblings, teachers and violent manipulating class-school mades. it is not only the parent who forms/shapes your childhood.

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald533610 ай бұрын

    Forgive and live ❤❤❤let God deal w these humans

  • @IndigoBlue-td9ho
    @IndigoBlue-td9ho2 ай бұрын

    It's very true. I pulled away have detached. Her mum told me she was worried about her. So I contacted her to try and help. She told me she didn't want me back "I didn't ask" I said good don't want to come back. I said I was trying to help her because evil spirits are attacking her. She got so angry and told me go do as a pleased and she couldn't care less if I was sleeping with dozens of women. I was left thinking how odd. I called to help with evil spirits and she twisted it to me getting back with her "gaslighting" but I know this trick now so I kept saying why are you so angry? I didn't get angry at all nor did it pull me in. It actually repelled me

  • @NextLevelTherapy
    @NextLevelTherapy4 ай бұрын

    Because of your experience you truly tell it like it is - and be in reality! I can definitely attest to the work to be free! Sometimes the psyche isn't ready to really deal with their past and truly are blind to it because so busy feeling victimized by the other. Sadly, they may not see this until the relationship is completely broken and sometimes after several relationships are broken.

  • @colettemcdonald2372
    @colettemcdonald23724 ай бұрын

    Kenny you saved my life

  • @ursache1979
    @ursache1979Ай бұрын

    i think this is the most important clip about narcisists i saw and what should i do in the future. i have a special case because we are close neighbours but i know will heal one day soon

  • @TnL-nt2kd
    @TnL-nt2kd7 ай бұрын

    Oh, btw, they said 5 minutes b4 they called cops " I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ONLY ONE FOR ME. PLEASE BELIEVE ME!". Like, wtf

  • @user-gc1uo2gu1i
    @user-gc1uo2gu1i2 ай бұрын

    I don't know how to say thank you. The way you explained him “narcissist “was like you knew what I personally went through step by step Thank you!

  • @margaretbradley6693
    @margaretbradley66932 ай бұрын

    Well, it also feels like "home". Our parents model our sense of normality. Forty-fifty years ago, most of us had virtually no understanding of "trauma"....unless we studied psychiatry. Even then, awareness of childhood trauma was not understood or acknowledged.

  • @anne-marietracey4866
    @anne-marietracey48667 ай бұрын

    This is so true! My mother, I have now reflected, devalued me as a child and also as a grown adult. Would criticise and emotionally attack me and always compared me negatively to my dad, who she felt had let her down all her life, said he was like her 5th child. I was my dads blue eyed girl. It is only going through my current relationship, and I have recently identified my partner of 4 years as a narcassist, that I have been able to see this. I have called time on the relationship. My partner has not put up any fight to keep me or acknowledged anything that I have said to him. I left a really decent, normal, grounded man, the father of my 2 wonderful children, 13 years ago. He didn’t outwardly show me the love that i now know I have been seeking. Hence 2 wrong choices of men since I left him. Singledom for me from now. Happy with that

  • @Notknowme
    @NotknowmeАй бұрын

    It's the best and most useful video I watched about this theme, I'm one of those who spent the last two months getting all possible information about It. I didn't know anything about NPD and PD, so it took some time to figure it out what I've been through. All things he said happened in the really same way and still going on from the moment I spoiled her and all her lies in that moment it's been like a switch of personalitity and i didn't know anymore the person I was in front of. It's been devastating realising that the person I've been together in years wouldn't exist and everything was a recital. I've always had feelings of something strange in her, but i wouldn't ever think something like this... but passing time, I even realise that I have a problem too..

  • @allsouls5997
    @allsouls599710 ай бұрын

    They will smirk and smile as they are stabbing you in the back. They will give the well I am shocked. Then they will proceed to take as much as they can from you and play the victim when they recieved good things from you. Do they have a heart or soul ? Are they even real people ?

  • @margyrowland
    @margyrowland10 ай бұрын

    Thank you Kenny for sharing your wisdom. Love your attire…..purple and gold 👍🏻

  • @km38334
    @km383346 ай бұрын

    It seems to me that the label "equalization" needs to be clarified as *false* or *pseudo-* equalization. A more accurate label might be "whataboutism" On another note, a very important concept brought up here is the one of MATURITY. The piece about the three "gets" is excellent ❤

  • @mariafarley7602
    @mariafarley76023 ай бұрын

    What do they live off of: our emotional reaction. Wow!

  • @maxwellcoleshow
    @maxwellcoleshow4 ай бұрын

    This video is profoundly 😮honest, and extremely informative. Thank you sir.

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    4 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @treshasstarr1513
    @treshasstarr15134 ай бұрын

    “You keep going back because you’re focusing on the narc instead of the childhood trauma” deep, this just triggered me to be better do better

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    4 ай бұрын

    Good for you that takes guts. If you’re looking for Solutions, my website is filled with tons of things to help you.

  • @zoraidacastro2703
    @zoraidacastro270310 ай бұрын

    This is on point. My maternal family were NARCs and very dysfunctional and no wonder I attract narcissistic people. It makes more sense now. As the middle child, I was always looking for approval and attention. 😢

  • @sp4rtavus244

    @sp4rtavus244

    9 ай бұрын

    Same

  • @cindybates6633

    @cindybates6633

    8 ай бұрын

    Same

  • @Dollsteak69
    @Dollsteak699 ай бұрын

    This is my neighbor. I'm 55 and have never seen anything like this behavior. I guess I always RUN when I sense the illness. After going down the rabbit hole of a narcissist it explains all the behavior I see next door. I'm living my best life and he's made false accusations to LE, my employer. Damage to property. Unbelievable. I was on to this early so I didn't feed his needed supply. Best part of this vid is the 3 reactions that you the victim take. Best advice ever.

  • @Jan-qv8ku
    @Jan-qv8ku7 ай бұрын

    I’m so mad at my BDP mother for setting me up to fail in life and in my relationships- Narc has turned my kids against me, has control of everything- Now divorcing me apparently due to my insomnia 😂 High crimes 😂 Turning everything around, saying that I do all the stuff he does- I’m so mad at my counselor that I had as a teen- She knew what my mom was and didn’t warn me about future relationships- I could’ve had such a better life, if someone had cared enough to help me heal early.

  • @oonaghhagan9939
    @oonaghhagan99398 ай бұрын

    My stepfather has been abusing my Mother for yrs! Now she has cognitive impairment he is worse and stopping us seeing her! He is a narcissistic and verbally and emotionally has abused us for yrs! I'm 58 now but need to protect my Mother 😢Thank u for this video!

  • @dclarke1896
    @dclarke189610 ай бұрын

    Thank you for this great video! Disengaging, healing and getting on with my own life has set me free!

  • @rdhette944
    @rdhette9444 ай бұрын

    Spot on, as always. Thank you! ❤

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    4 ай бұрын

    You are so welcome

  • @Kim-tx3pb
    @Kim-tx3pb5 ай бұрын

    I like this focus as I feel I have been stuck in the anger trap for too long and sick of it.

  • @bikimajic9610
    @bikimajic96106 ай бұрын

    Thank you Kenny 🙏🏻 I’ve full responsibility and understand where my childhood trauma stems from. I believe my mother was a narc, I married 2 & gave birth to one who’s now a young adult. The hardest is being a parent to one. Do you think having narcs around you all your life can contribute to you adapting some narc traits yourself. Sometimes I think I could be a narcissist too or display narc tendencies. I just to feel relief and learn what a normal life is like 😢

  • @elderlypoodle9181
    @elderlypoodle91812 ай бұрын

    Oh my goodness I’m crying. You are an Angel man 🙏🏻🥰

  • @DaRyteJuan
    @DaRyteJuan10 ай бұрын

    This is some dense material to get through. The covert female narcissist in my life is my primary care physician. Recently she manipulated my private parts without permission. But she did so right in front of a female nurse as if to say, “Look. I can do whatever I want with this patient.”

  • @zoraidacastro2703

    @zoraidacastro2703

    10 ай бұрын

    😮 WOW that's not right!

  • @DaRyteJuan

    @DaRyteJuan

    10 ай бұрын

    @@zoraidacastro2703 Thanks. I’m trying to get an apology from her r/n. I have basically suggested to her she’s risking her medical license if she doesn’t apologize. Still waiting … ⏳

  • @oraclehaveacookie9737

    @oraclehaveacookie9737

    9 ай бұрын

    😢ask God to take her away and to send you someone normal

  • @jessicatobias9371

    @jessicatobias9371

    2 ай бұрын

    Wow. sorry that happened to you !

  • @kimp.dr.n2652
    @kimp.dr.n2652Ай бұрын

    I never thought Id ever encounter someone like this until I my own freind did half these things to myself and others when her dirty secrets and lying came out.

  • @rebeccaconn389
    @rebeccaconn3892 ай бұрын

    Great video … I agree with the next step in healing is: seeing your own trauma that caused you to be lured in by a narcissist. I’ve discovered that seeing this about myself was difficult at first … but so necessary to fully heal myself so I can be in a good relationship in the future.

  • @john316mitchell4
    @john316mitchell410 ай бұрын

    Thank you so very much Kenny. I am grateful for the knowledge that is shared with so much Truth, Love, and most of all, focusing on loving ourselves enough to choose to heal. (Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and yes, even Physically.) It is all interconnected. Much Respect Always! 🙏🏼💚✨💜

  • @sp4rtavus244
    @sp4rtavus2449 ай бұрын

    Jeez I wish this video existed 8 mths ago. This is such a brilliant video and he explains it so well and literally made me cry. I am moving on now. Thx brother.

  • @Nylon_riot

    @Nylon_riot

    4 ай бұрын

    There is a point where the grief itself becomes a pathological problem. Which is why you see people who are still on the topic 15 years later. Trauma and active grieving should be temporary.

  • @through.a.barrel.she.breathes
    @through.a.barrel.she.breathes5 ай бұрын

    This is so en pointe Kenny. I constantly tried to understand why I kept suffering trying to figure out the narcissist and now it makes total sense.

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart4 ай бұрын

    I stopped defending for several reasons. First, I don’t personalize. Second it’s redundant. Finally, and most important he isn’t listening.

  • @eilamariesartre8823
    @eilamariesartre88239 ай бұрын

    I love the way they project their role and what they're thinking onto you as if they can actually see into your head. I'm in a battle with one and he thinks dragging me through the mud with my past is going to destroy me, but I am proud of what I've recovered from and the past doesn't predict the future when you break the cycle. The connection with the childhood is real... my mom was too busy working to raise me as a single parent and the marc played the same game. I somehow became completely good without being with anyone after finally having a mostly healthy relationship (with someone that had anxious attachment so I kind of ended up securely attached by trying to help that person with their issues). I don't know how it all worked out but somehow I ended up OK on the other end and now the only way my ex gonna hurt me is by trying to go to court and taking our child he abandoned from over a year ago.

  • @TuerlingsTim
    @TuerlingsTim10 ай бұрын

    Yes you are totally right😁. The reaction was emotional and false information. My response was: I have read your response 3 times and finished with a smile. When this is your feeling than I will be nice and not giving you this negative feelings anymore. Good luck with your new love you already having😉. After that I blocked here and all related connections from email and internet apps. Than to clean the mind more deleted all communication and pictures of here because all was fake. It gave me a lot of rest and after firing the study on internet everything became more clear. Thanks for your input. Yes the cause is my childhood and from their I looked forward 👍🏻👍🏻

  • @user-mw8ys6yw1p
    @user-mw8ys6yw1pАй бұрын

    It took me a while to find out that my Best friend turned against me telling lies about me I cut him out of my life I pray for him

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u4 ай бұрын

    I didn't transfer my unhealed pain onto my children. My x does believe that i turned the kids against him. I didnt. But i raised them to i guess notice if people around them are beimg supportive, if people around them see them and hear them. So then they meet their dad and they can correctly identify what they feel. Guilty. Obligated. Manipulated. I tried to talk to him but he is determined to blame me for everything. Same as my parents. Its so sad though. I was family orientated. I wanted my kids to have a big family. I think you are right ✅️ you have to just let people be their awful selves. I am 90% able to accept that my mother is never going to see me as real. I can't make her care about the impact of her actions on me. But she cannot make me play the part of sensitive emotional daughter anymore. It's not much of a win.

  • @almohvn33
    @almohvn336 ай бұрын

    HI, I did NOT go through childhood trauma. NOT at all. I mean ZERO!!!!!! I just know that. I had it made. I was popular, I did great in school, loving parents, who just passed. Great GREAT childhood... !!!!!!!! I DID go through trauma, severe but at 30. At 30, the man who had my heart from the moment I saw him in Grenada on Army duty (he was a Green Beret)... had MASSIVE stroke, and I went through living Fing hell as.. I married him. His family tried to have our marriage annulled (due to his stroke, "incompetacy") and I suffered horribly. I fought for him and his rights, I was working, in the Army reserves, school, caregiving him (he really lost everything, voice, work, walking... (34 years later, still in love, still married).... THAT was my trauma. Losing him.... (Yes, he lived, but I lost the life we could have had... should have had) So... please guide me here, THIS is when that POS narc came after me, and I mean CAME AFTER me..... I now call it RAPE! For that is what they do.. They RAPE you. Please comment!

  • @user-jn6hm6ky3q
    @user-jn6hm6ky3q10 ай бұрын

    If you have a child with them and can see their patterns and how it’s harming your child and that they are using it as something to get to you, how can I get off their back and ignore it? I want so badly to disengage but then they do something that jeopardizes my child’s well being and I can’t sit idly by. What am I supposed to do?

  • @user-rr4so1st5d

    @user-rr4so1st5d

    3 ай бұрын

    Me too.

  • @Seminal_Ideas
    @Seminal_Ideas5 ай бұрын

    I just want to sincerely thank you for this video. I've watched some excellent videos on narcissistic recovery on KZread, but this one really hits the spot with me. I've been like a narc-magnet my whole life through broken marriages and other difficulties due to my toxic relationship with my father growing up. The inner child's voice only seems to get louder with age.

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    5 ай бұрын

    You are very welcome

  • @MassMultiplayer

    @MassMultiplayer

    4 ай бұрын

    list mistake error , repeated mistake error, to learn wich error mistake get more repeated and are more to be prioritised, list potential solution list victories and good move, repeat them. minmax potential lower misery learn, apply, repeat

  • @patient_zer0850
    @patient_zer08503 ай бұрын

    Very smart man (also dressed very smart 🙂)! Thank you for your wisdom and uploading it ❤️

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    3 ай бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @jjule85azzuro4
    @jjule85azzuro4Ай бұрын

    Yes. Become the expert of childhood trauma and dynamics. Not the narcissist. Staying focused on them is a part of the trap.

  • @MrFunktone
    @MrFunktone10 ай бұрын

    This is a brilliant video. Thanks for the reminder it's easy to get lost in the haze. I wish I could totally unpack the considerable trauma I suffered as a child. In some ways I have managed to but I think a professional would help to fully understand it and accept it

  • @margyrowland

    @margyrowland

    10 ай бұрын

    I now realise I have CPTSD and I don’t have the same responses as regular people. I’m learning lots about myself after 60 years of trying to manage “life”. More than 20 years no contact with a malignant narcissist mother who recently died. Hopefully some of my children will open their minds now the constant drip, drip of her poison has been switched off. You and I will be OK! Love from Australia 🇦🇺

  • @MrFunktone

    @MrFunktone

    10 ай бұрын

    @@margyrowland thanks for the really nice reply! We've both been through the wringer by these toxic people but we are stronger and good people at the end of the day. Love back to you from England

  • @maryannestevenson5993

    @maryannestevenson5993

    10 ай бұрын

    @@margyrowlandwell done. The “work” you did, be proud of yourself.

  • @Rwhisper-sy9qu

    @Rwhisper-sy9qu

    10 ай бұрын

    Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman

  • @qubex
    @qubex10 ай бұрын

    ‘Mine’ laid into me after I had the temerity to enquire whether the ‘rumours’ of infidelity were true by turning up at my place in the dead of night and eventually stormed off after cursing me with “look into my eyes one last time because it’s the last time you’ll ever see me”. 17 weeks ago tomorrow. It was calculated to totally destroy me.

  • @Demongdn
    @Demongdn7 ай бұрын

    I don't agree with your assumption that any victim of a narcissist has had issues in their childhood. I had the perfect childhood, I'm not attracted to narcs. Reality is, I met someone attractive online, she told me she couldn't get pregnant, she got pregnant and I stood by her. It was a sexual attraction, nothing more, nothing less. She was clever and I was stupid.

  • @margaretbradley6693
    @margaretbradley66932 ай бұрын

    Same story here. Can relate. He was a psychopath.....still is....35 years later.

  • @michellebudziszewski8242
    @michellebudziszewski824210 ай бұрын

    Yep he's trying to destroy me now. I finally went to the police and am getting a lawyer. It's scary because the people in his life believe him. I know what he's capable of and im scared but fighting for me. Seeking help I can't do this alone. I let myself cry and finally realized just how badly I need to get back in therapy

  • @leanne123

    @leanne123

    10 ай бұрын

    Crying helps clear away the emotions so you can think clearly. If you don;t feel the pain and cry you will remain in a state of confusion and indecision, Allow your self to cry until there are no tears left. Then you won;t be plagued with "unprosessed" emotions for the rest of your life. Unless you express your feelings they don't go away. Pain, anger, sadness remain until you allow yourself to cry. ❤️

  • @Kimberlyn308
    @Kimberlyn30810 ай бұрын

    This is so accurate! Ty!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This absolutely validates my healing journey… I’m not crazy😂TY!

  • @Angel_eyes___
    @Angel_eyes___10 ай бұрын

    My ex uses narcissism all the time. My grown kids follow his every word. Now my grand kids are his mini me's. Rather be the way i raised them with love and respect. That is all gone. Trying to heal. With my daughter but forced to sleep on a floor. She said that i can't have a bed

  • @oraclehaveacookie9737

    @oraclehaveacookie9737

    9 ай бұрын

    He doesnt uses narcissism he or she is a narcississt.

  • @ginafarley6190
    @ginafarley61903 ай бұрын

    This is brilliant, and why we get triggered

  • @MercyofGod777
    @MercyofGod7773 ай бұрын

    WOW...this is great, thankyou!! God bless!!!

  • @Dynamic_heart
    @Dynamic_heart4 ай бұрын

    Oh my, your arguments with a parent sound darn close to mine.

  • @chosenforgreatness08
    @chosenforgreatness082 ай бұрын

    This was so in time for me.?thank you ❤ the best video to talk about our OWN healing And how much we are to blame ourselves and I have transferred that to my daughter

  • @NickBB
    @NickBBАй бұрын

    These videos are changing my life after what happened. I'm about to schedule a session with you Kenny

  • @kennyweiss

    @kennyweiss

    Ай бұрын

    Looking forward to being a part of your journey!

  • @morganlake41632
    @morganlake416323 ай бұрын

    What about the evidence of using art to reveal, heal....? Forgiveness is dangerous - I should only forgive those who can be trusted not to injure me again. I cannot be trusted with this. I must earn my own trust - takes time and many events because I have lied to myself so often about so much.