This quote helped me, "If they cannot love you where you are at, they cannot love you where you are going."

@kennyweiss

5 ай бұрын

Well said!

When your actions don't match your words, that is a huge red flag no matter my history ❤

@sherriflemming3218

10 ай бұрын

No integrity = no trust.

@nylaclancy2655

9 ай бұрын

That's manipulation

@funnygirlever

8 ай бұрын

Amen!

@sharchannel1836

5 ай бұрын

Yeah

@trishg8852

5 ай бұрын

Agree!

She ghosted you means she is with another guy. She comes back means it didnt work out.

@chrissemenko628

4 ай бұрын

He and she are interchangeable. He goes out hunting and then returns to me.

@user-gg6qj1pn5h

13 күн бұрын

lol…so true

@user-km4ul2ry4d

12 күн бұрын

Definitely on the money, and it's with more than one person simultaneously narcissist personality disorder! Been there

I can't believe they would have enough nerve to try to come back to someone they ghosted-discarded!!

@DispholidusTypus

17 күн бұрын

It's a test too see if you are still interested in hanging out with them and their also trying too figure out where you are at in life as far as financially and money, asset's, power, and social stability and status!!! Go overseas too Thailand, Phillipines, Japan, Germany, etc!!! With that being said use caution there as well but I guarantee you you will enjoy and experience the culture, scenery, food, and all around atmosphere as well!!! The women in those countries are more feminine, submissive, respectful, polite courteous, and typically way more attractive than MOST amercian western women!!! Go by yourself fist and foremost and then bring a really good friend with you the second time but don't bring any women over there at all whatsoever!!! I can assure you that will ruin very special experiences you will have if you do!!! Get your passport 🛂 and get your ASS too MARS 🚀

@Ngan.marianguyen

13 күн бұрын

right???

@user-km4ul2ry4d

12 күн бұрын

Because people with narcissist personality disorder have no shame or remorse all though they'll pretend to to get the supply they need, they're very sick individuals no cure or help for it

While I can sympathize for people with avoidant attachment issues, I do draw the line there - they are not my issues, and it is completely unacceptable behavior to me.

@kenyattahockenhull5636

10 ай бұрын

I’m with u on that

@sherriflemming3218

10 ай бұрын

Ditto. No time for them. Are They Giving Me Breadcrumbs? Coach Craig Kenneth ( avoidant attachment) It's impossible to have a texting relationship ---Natalie Clarice Texting is a toxic, avoidant behavior has been normalized in society. It's artificial intimacy.

@matilda4406

10 ай бұрын

Now that I'm thinking about it, it's future faking too! Leading you to nowhere

@catherinepatricio2119

5 ай бұрын

What is avoidance attachment issues?

@rachelford8852

4 ай бұрын

Attachment Theory

Ultimate gift to ghost back: power of mirroring

@annnee6818

2 ай бұрын

This is what I did. Feels good. Well actually it feels rotten but the only thing that makes it slightly less shitty is that I have the discipline to just let it go

@sarahbright5231

19 күн бұрын

Same feels shitty but I’m not chasing a ghost

If you know you've done no wrong and still you get ghosted, don't chase after what runs away from you. That's my belief anyway. If you don't respect you, no one will.

@salliegallegos918

4 ай бұрын

Julie, I agree 100%. The problem is that they randomly reappear. I guess next step is restraining order. Blocking and going No Contact doesn’t work when they appear at your doorstep.

@jackdeniston59

3 ай бұрын

Women quite unknowingly betray men, and do not bother to ask how, or bother to listen. For example, women readily talk about mens sexual performance. This is betrayal that will get you ghosted. Feel free to disagree/come up with excuses.

@karenlynch8348

2 ай бұрын

Idk anyone who chases a ghosted? If they do they will surely get more of the same

@tenelleharris5696

2 ай бұрын

@@jackdeniston59grown as you is don’t tell nobody this bs again 😒🤦🏾‍♀️ smh you deserve to got ghosted ‼️

@annnee6818

2 ай бұрын

​@@salliegallegos918 You've probably got a narcissist there, that's horrible. But the reply was not meant for you, you obviously can't ignore someone on your doorstep

You ghost them back, that's what you do

@thirstonhowellthebirdandfriend

9 ай бұрын

I ghost back too but at that point I know who they are and I’m done. They are game playing and jockeying for power, control and to degrade and demean.

@carolnahigian9518

8 ай бұрын

karma

@irina1siren

7 ай бұрын

It’s called mirroring. And if the ghoster didn’t see a problem with the time span they took to reply to you, then they’d be a hypocrite to see a problem with you taking the same length of time to reply back.

@susanh1447

6 ай бұрын

I don’t ghost back. I’m now done, and I’ve gone NO CONTACT.

@DDR-Expert

6 ай бұрын

@@susanh1447 Get the hell out 👉

Boundaries A polite wall Remembering how peace & joy returned when they were finally out of your life.

This matching is a badass move! That means ghosters that pop up after weeks can wait for you for weeks… they’ll go crazy 🤭

Abuse is when words don't match actions.

I dated a man like that. Very frustrating. I left him. He was an avoidant, did what he wanted when he wanted and I would wait and wait .

“Every emotional reaction we have was learned in childhood.” That really hit home…. Based on what I seen in childhood, I need some new skills! Wow.

The narcissist I was with always said "I love you" but he never showed any affection. He wouldn't put his arm around me when watching tv and he walked 30 feet in front of me in public. He drove to Florida, 1,000 miles away and promised to call when he arrived. He didn't call. He sent a text message letting me know he had been there 6 hours and made excuses why he didn't call. I texted him back letting him know I was at the emergency room. He didnt read it until the next morning. Then he turned it back at me and asked why I didnt call him. That ended the relationship. When he came home I ghosted him for 2 months. I had enough. My motto now is " I give what I get "

@audreelebdjiri727

2 ай бұрын

I give what I get great advice. Ty😊

What I like about this video and what stands out to me is that it doesn't villianize the other person. People are scared. People are hurt. People are incompetent. It doesn't make them evil people for not handling situations directly or responding how we believe they should. Just have compassion, for the other person AND for yourself, and always honor what your needs are. Thanks Kenny.

The matching part is so real and once you start doing that all the attention slaves (who just wanna receive without giving) start fading away from your life.

It’s funny how people have a problem with your behavior when you match theirs.

I do not match bad behaviour with more bad behaviour. I send a text and tell them that whilst I don't agree with their communication style I know it comes from a wounded place so good bye and best of luck with their journey.

I never give a person a 2nd chance to ghost me! If i ever thought I was being too harsh and unforgiving, i simply remember how they made me feel when they initially ghosted me! I dont have time to waste my time! Be strong and set those boundaries, and most importantly, dont allow people to disrespect you! Great video ❤

Your exactly like me, i watch actions and if they do not match my efforts im gone. That goes for everyone, no one gets away with disrespecting me. We are adults and know what we are doing, i understand that sometimes its a genuine mistake but i dont wait around.

@kareng6049

2 ай бұрын

My adult children feel I cut people off too quickly BUT if actions don't match words I'm out, contact is deleted. Life's too short for BS. 😊

@sandancer45

2 ай бұрын

At the end of the day, its your life to do as you wish, people come and go all the time.

You're so correct , couldn't believe someone would have such similar thoughts on how to respond to ghosters, boundaries and matching, non negotiables. WOW..!

I wouldn’t even try to explain to them. My walls are already up and I don’t give second chances anymore. I just move on because that is who I am, that’s what works best for me.

@irina1siren

7 ай бұрын

I pretty well agree with this. If someone has clearly shown disinterest, then I think 1) they havnt earned my vulnerable analysis; and 2) I don’t want to invest in spending my energy and hope into explaining myself to them bc chances are they are avoidant and will not change, PLUS then they feel like they have the upper hand by knowing I am affected by their actions. And I don’t think someone who isn’t genuinely interested in me should know the inner workings of my thoughts to exploit later by breadcrumbing or playing cat and mouse games to satisfy their own egos of “getting me”.

Love this! I’m way too sensitive to rejection to date! That’s why it’s easier to start as natural friends. More on dating for people over fifty, I mean, if I have to go through another narcissistic break up I’m gonna become a nun. How about matching what we give in relationships compared to what they give, I.e. lopsided relationships

@shirleygonzales5284

10 ай бұрын

That's for sure.

@sherriflemming3218

10 ай бұрын

Best to dodge the bullets in the first place. At the first sign of love bombing, future faking or gaslighting, recognize the manipulation, control and abuse for what it is and RUN! Boundaries, a backbone and a bs meter . Stand in your power. Speak your truth and have zero tolerance for crumbs, bs, disrespect or any abuse. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Opt out! Asymmetrical relationships are unbalanced. Transactional and conditional. Trauma Bonds are not about healthy love.

@tanya2700

6 ай бұрын

It's funny how these abusers have dead eyes. Nothing inside

And we feel fantastic by watching your videos after being ghosted lol ! Thank you I wrote everything down🙏

Don’t. I accepted my ghoster back bc he claimed he was depressed and etc and we talked consistently and was good then he ghosted. One day I woke up to the silent treatment again and unsure why. So just talk to people who are emotionally stable. 🎉❤ peace and love

@user-km4ul2ry4d

12 күн бұрын

Boy are you being bamboozled! Start studying narcissist personality disorder Google study every piece of Information you can get drill it all into your head for months, there is absolutely no cure or treatment for this, he's doing it because he's seeing someone else and believe me it's more than one woman, silent treatment is a sick game to them they secretly enjoy hurting you and all this is abuse worse than physical trust me been through it

this feels like one of the more practical approaches out there that is not only effective but also is fair and reasonable by taking into account “everyone’s on their own journey.” seems super helpful with any communication/scenario, really. glad i found this channel :)

I agree with you Kenny, I’m a 3 strikes and your out. Self preservation kicks in. Actions really do scream loudest.

Excellent. Initially i wanted if this fits with Christian ethos - and for me it does! This gentleman is teaching us wisdom. How to guard ourselves. I haven't heard anything that purports to nastiness at all. Ghosting is so very very cruel. Mercy is not about allowing someone to rip our hearts apart with feelings of no meaning to life - i see explaining our actions if required without nastiness. So far this is good sense. Im very grateful x

Absolutely - go on with your life and do things that make you happy. After all the abuse - why would you want them back?

Really good. I’m right with you these days about matching (mirroring) the other persons interest or behavior. Sometimes I double their ghosting time. Ghost me 4 hrs, I’ll respond in 8 , etc. Can you give some examples of what you say when you let them know, if you do. A thing I noticed with narcissists, is that if you say to them you will begin treating them exactly as they treat you, they freak out!!! Sometimes anger and sometimes they run for the hills 😂. Never do they think, oh maybe I should treat you better.

@rubio9478

9 ай бұрын

They will never introspect. It's part of their sick disorder.

You're an Empath, Kenny. We are a rare breed, these days. IMHO, you gave this person way too much leverage - you had three fingers up (three chances, three boundaries broken, three red flags), needs to be one count you're out. I, too, have had to toughen up. It's really against who I AM, but its self protection, people will hurt you these days, they don't care. We do not 'match them', we do not play their games, we are not them. Playing games is not natural to an Empath, you might pretend to be OK with waiting 4hrs to text them back, but you are not OK and ultimately, WHY would you even want to text back someone who has said one thing and done another, this person clearly is not someone to trust? Just get rid of them, there are 8 Billion other people out there, you dont need these people. If you accept these people, you will keep attracting more experiences like them.

@mesalouis8976

9 ай бұрын

I hate being an empath!!!☹️😭

@Sheila3114

6 ай бұрын

I'm an empath too. Sometimes I have to put up my wall's up. Ppl are too toxic sometimes!

@anais8455

2 ай бұрын

An empath means childhood trauma

@hotchocexpresso

Ай бұрын

If any man calls himself an “empath” then he doesn’t understand the psychology of attraction & has to break out of his emasculation, heal from trauma, & regain his mojo & masculinity.

Omg Kenny ! I feel so normal after listening to this video. I get triggered by the way some people communicate / respond over text and I didn’t know if I was the problem. I am open , communicative and have no problem being vulnerable , but I had to learn how to create a safe container for myself and match their behavior. This is not only true with abusive people , but for me is a sign of someone not wanting to invest . Either way, not everyone deserves our best .

❤Wow, this is similar to my experience today. And I thought to myself to “ghost” that person the same length of time as I had been ghosted. Long story short, it worked out for my good!!! I will continue to live my life joyfully and with integrity, not letting anyone steal my peace.❤ Thank you for sharing your story in this video. I am a new subscriber.

@carmenr9251

4 ай бұрын

What if you work at the same job, fortunately I haven’t saw him or his new women , almost a month now

I love your advice. Good Stuff! Being ghosted is abusive behavior. Being to needy can make me rush into relationships to fast. I have a clearer vision / plan to deal with people who are not fair. People's actions speak volumes! Love people for who they are not who you want them to be. Kenny you are a ray of hope!

when someone ghosts me I just tell them have nice life

Wow Kenny you really nailed it by saying it depends on YOU not a set rule. Wow love it! New sub!

This is why talking is far better than texting. Testing is too impersonal and leaves too many questions on the table for mis-interperaation (sp). the same texting device has numbers on it also. Call.

I really appreciate the practical-action focus. I find this kind of small but effective action steps are the most helpful things in my recovery. And trauma often blocks us from being able to think of those on our own.

@charlenerhoda2024

9 ай бұрын

I feel exactly the same. Wow. This is such a powerful message and spoken with such simplicity that every point became like a gold nugget for me. Thank you so very much.

It took me a very long time to see that I had to learn to watch for intentions matching words matching actions overtime. Once I figured that out life changed immensely. People who cat and mouse you in a come here go away Manner destroy trust and without trust and follow through (intentions matching words matching actions overtime) there’s no relationship to be had.

Kenny, I think some people are not very deep, so if you talk about something deep, and their schema can’t process the info, they go into brain fog 😶‍🌫️ and they just can’t respond at that point. I have found this to be the case a lot! 🤓

@matilda4406

10 ай бұрын

True. But it shows that they are not at his level. Not really an equal yoking and values are not aligned.

@DeepThinkersClub

10 ай бұрын

@@matilda4406 Yeah, plus the energy is off. Getting on the same frequency is super rare too.

@matilda4406

10 ай бұрын

@@DeepThinkersClub yes.. sigh..

As I’m listening to this video I feel like another good outcome is to communicate our needs openly and without attachment to others. Like you, I get triggered when text messages go unanswered. I think what I’m gonna do is sit down with a friend of mine who does this and let her know that I have a different need for communication and to see if I can understand what her needs for communication are. It’s like I’m expecting her to read my mind but I never told her what my preferences are and quite frankly I don’t know hers.

I totally agree with having standards and boundaries. This may seem cutthroat to some, but if you really want authentic, genuine connections - it's necessary!

I totally agree with you. I have an issue with timing of text . If you text me and I see it im gonna respond. I dealt with abrupt abandonment and just got ghosted for a month it brought so much anxiety to me. I didn't know what i did and was very confused. Everyone has their phone on them like just answer the text, if your free or when u get free. Thank You for this i needed this.🙏🏾

Iam also somebody who is open and gives a lot as in time and energy and an open ear to somebody that needs it and then, I feel hurt when they don't do the same for me. Not anymore!! From now on I'm going match what I get from others and not give away to much ar the start . Thank you so much!! You described me down to a "T" 😊

Thank you Kenny for being someone that focus LESS on the narc and more on the power/focus in yourself. I think so many channels here on YT only focus on the narc, almost obsessing, so these are good advices😊

@kennyweiss

10 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

@matilda4406

10 ай бұрын

Yes, you are right. That's a correct observation. Very few actually focus on "how" to process and value yourself. And doing it kindly to the other person and to oneself. Takes a lot of investigation, maturity and love.

I am right there with you, if someone does not respond to me, my e-mails, my phone calls, etc, I give them a few times and then I give up on them. I don't want any friends in my life who deliberately ignore me to manipulate. I will ask first why they didn't return my calls and I get an answer like: "I don't know", which tells me they were manipulating me and didn't have any other reason except to control me. Or they have no interest in me. I have no desire to pursue someone who has no interest in me. A kind reasonable person will tell us why they couldn't get back to us because they don't want us to feel badly. My daughter's family have gossiped against me for years and now they ignore my e-mails consistently, so I have stopped communicating with them.

I’ve made detailed notes and u have a good point about childhood trauma and how it affects ur responses to cold narcicstic twats by I now know what I need to do to grow and protect myself.

If they are not 🚫 responding and the communication is ILL and I have specifically stated that at least brief verbal communication is a must in most cases and if they refuse that request and can't communicate with me with a very brief phone call 🤙 📲 after the intial texting if any then I will no 🚫 longer communicate with them!!! I am done reciprocating and responding with them on all levels!!! GAME 🎮 OVER!!! I have other options as well and far better things too do with my life then waste my time, enery, and effort on them! Yes absolutely watch women's action's and although you may listen to what they say it means NOTHING unless they prove it over time!!! Trust is earned not given!!!! This goes for everyone in every aspect of life!!! Great videos Mr. Kenny Weiss 💪👍💪

I used to do that, but after a certain point I decided to stop mirroring toxic behaviour, I stopped trying to play shrimk to understand toxicicity and recognize disrespect when I see it. Unless it's a work related situation, it's just a waste of time, it's stressful and ultimately very disrespectful. I learned to tell flaky, mind game playing people to lose my number after the 3rd strike, people know exactly what they're doing, I don't even expect to be a priority or anything, just the bare minimun of respect and consideration like any other human being, if that's too much to expect, then I have no business wasting my precious time on someone who think it's okay to request some of it only to leave me hanging or to be lied to my face, sometimes repeatedly... Same thing is true for gaslighting, narc family members that hide relevant information from me that I have the right to know about, I'm too old to be getting bamboozeled left and right by fake friends or shady family members, I wish I knew earlier that it is okay to walk away when respect isn't present. Nowdays I have no hesitation in using the block buttom, and it's so much better.

@21Casey50

7 ай бұрын

I love this! Very smart advice. Don't waste your time on people who are not worthy of your time. Yes! i have been using to block button. A sign of a heathy recovering person. Feels great!

This is great It’s difficult as a Christian to follow this But it makes psychological sense to me ❤

@prithimadawson434

5 ай бұрын

Agree.

@CottonWoodBlues

4 ай бұрын

I am a Christian too and I agree with you. I love the pychological aspect of it. But I always look at things from a Biblical perspective. After coming out of a really bad relationship in 2020 which I am still majorly damaged from albeit way better after making changes, I do agree that some of these things help to get with ones life on the rod to recovery after bad relationships. But having Jesus in my life was the biggest factor in my recovering.

@prithimadawson434

4 ай бұрын

@@CottonWoodBlues I was hurting when I was watching these videos and trying to understand things. But then I took the decision of walking by faith and not by my own limited understanding. I feel better. I’m happy I have Jesus.

@PamelaWildman-Williams

17 күн бұрын

Thank you - I was hurting then I saw another Christian on board and gave me such comfort. We Christians are part of a family even though we don’t know each other. ❤️

Now at over 40, I’ve finally begun to only look to people’s actions to determine who they are. Maybe it’s naive of me, however, this was a sad and difficult lesson to learn about people. There are so many disingenuous people.

A woman ghosted me through social media so after a few weeks, I unfollowed her. She came back but not for authentic connection but just to criticize and not take any accountability. She couldn't handle the fact that I was gone forever and seemingly just liked the validation I was giving her

@derwoodhamburger

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the video Kenny. Awesome stuff

I did the matching thing with a client who waited a week to respond to each of my messages. I just decided to not work on her project until she got back to me. It took 5 times longer to do the project. When I finished, she wanted to scrap the whole thing and start again. By that time I already had accepted another client. Her loss! I would not accept a Narc back into my life. That's just asking for trouble.

One word answers 😮😅 in conversation.

Ok... If i told my toxic guy (kindly) "hey...it took you 2 hours and 13 minutrs to respond hun, so in order to honor myself i matched ya" he'd say...."Well, well, well...how petty and immature is THAT, Christi?!" I cant win for losing with this man. He ALWAYS has an answer!

@aprilchow-chee5281

3 ай бұрын

Then leave him be if he doesn't like what he hands out then he doesn't like you either nor himself

@chrissemenko628

3 ай бұрын

@@aprilchow-chee5281 Well said

@taleandclawrock2606

3 ай бұрын

Talking about himself😅

I analyze relationship dynamics just like. It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thanks Kenny! P.S. my response to the ghoster is going to be nothing because they treated me like I was a nothing and made me feel like I was a nothing 🤬

Thank you so much❤ ,our childhoods were the same Was ghosted and it hurt so much but because of my recovery knew my reactions were past trauma Ive decided no contact same situation I choose to protect myself ❤

It would be great if we could communicate like that but a narc will gasp and treat you as if you’re needy, clingy and insane and tell you they were just busy and don’t have time for tit for tat games then smear you to the world after they’ve lulled you in 25 times to believe you matter. Normal people yes but a normal person wouldn’t ghost and treat someone like that repeatedly so that person is a narc and needs to be cut loose. Otherwise, wash, rinse, repeat will just be endless with these types.

Love this! Found your channel today and am so glad ❤

People like that are still sleeping they are locked in the Matrix. We are special Empaths! We read people very intuitive we were sleeping until we learned what happened to us, my mom is narcissistic my dad is narcissistic emotionally abusive and controlling I was the puppet they played us, I didn’t figure it out until I met this narcissist I felt like he hacked my programming through the experience with him I figured out my parents- and this is the real awakening moment. My advice is, heal by understanding, forgive yourself and them be at peace send yourself free live long and prosper 🖖 you came to earth to learn you had your lesson make sure you break the cycle 🔄 this is your mission on earth. Love light and Life.

Match them. This is AWSOME. because i do have people in my life who takes a day to answer. Now i know what to do. Thank you for sharing.

I need to remember that it is not what happens to me, it's important how I respond to it.

Your words are just GOLD !!! ❤

Thank you! Great video!❤🙏

I so love all this honesty, directness, braveness. ❤

Great stuff Kenny

Theres no point in doing the same thing to them you're dealing with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder best thing to do is called Grey rocking cut off all contact period, you never have anything to do with the person or contact you completely block them from everything, and don't respond to anything, or ever let them see or know that they've upset you or hurt you or anything they feed off it, and go on with your life this will drive them nuts fir little bit and then they move on to the next victims its a never ending cycle!

Thank you so much for this! Amazing video 💖💖💖💖

Thank you Kenny

Absolutely brilliant. Thank you very much, you have taken off the pink glasses off my face. 🙌

Thank you. I needed this.

You’re so helpful. So glad I found your channel. Thank you! Going through this right now.

I agree with you 💯 percent. Been there done that! Their actions must match their words.

I needed this

Loved this and definitely pay attention to actions over words and matching how people show up 👌🏻

In my option.... if they just ignored you without feeling anything bad or see you value. No need to express, explain anything about you to them... just skip them.. doing nothing.. no contact is better cos they are not worthy for ur time anymore.

Thank you for all your love and wisdom. I've been listening to you for a while, an you have helped me out a lot. I had to set my boundaries. I love that honor there boundaries.

Great advice! 💗 Thank you Kenny.

Thank you!

If they are a narcissist, there’s no point in calling them out on their behavior. Just ghost back, which at that point is a form of gray-rocking.

Ty you so much Kenny. I use everything you taught me, to help in coaching my clients. 👍They are always amazed

This was spectacular

Fantastic insight .

Perfect timing. Thank you so much.

@kennyweiss

10 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

This is so relatable to me. Thank you for this video.

Thanks for your content. I love your style of dress. Happy Saturday!

Wow, what a piece of great advice!

Thank u for this information

Perfect video for me right now! Spot on, massive huge thank you!

Big thank you. Boundaries!

A ghoster can also be depressed person, or someone with adhd. BUT - and this is a big lesson for me - its possible to be empathetic to it and still say "look I get you have your reasons, but Im not going to be able to stay in touch with you and be a nice person, since this behaviour persists." I have had to cut a few people of for that reason. Kept giving them chances, but they need to go to the root of their behaviour, and I need to choose if I deserve to keep my peace or if I have patience with this in the long run. A tough lesson, even with friends.

Kenny, you are a mentor. Tried and true. Its great to have the opportunity to hear your wisdom. A father figure I did not have and am very appreciative of.

I love this video, it's so refreshing to see a different approach to standing up for Yourself. Thank You!

This guy is the best I swear.

This is excellent advice. Where have you been my whole life.

You are a good man and a good communicator

I appreciate your counsel.

Thank you for being so transparent. And helping others on their journey to healthier relationships ❤

@kennyweiss

Ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

This video is GOLD. Thank you! Timely message for me! I always felt that the best thing to do with these types of people is to match their energy... YES!!!

emotional mastery / emotional maturity it is