Friendly reminder that Jakes needs an education

@mathieuleader8601

5 жыл бұрын

Jake is physically macro and macho but mentally he appears to be micro

@intheairex

5 жыл бұрын

Jakes rise up

@slochedplays9585

5 жыл бұрын

@@mathieuleader8601 When phallic size imagery goes from being subtext to text.

@janetsnakehole9322

5 жыл бұрын

chads? old news. jake are new things.

@birdword111

5 жыл бұрын

Maybe we need to start a GoFundMe campaign

The four body types in this book: • Big • Not Big • Good Sized • Woman

@wimpykidragon

3 жыл бұрын

Not woman, petite (with a special note to large booba)

@CinnamonQuills

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like one of the female Social Justice Nerds was described as "purple haired and chunky" (as opposed to the one who used to be a cheerleader but now tragically had dreadlocks and NO MAKEUP). Which, to be fair, probably falls into the "Big" category.

@Skag_Sisyphus

3 жыл бұрын

XD there's more shapes than that?

@derekedgar1676

3 жыл бұрын

This made me laugh.

@edgarallenhoe3518

3 жыл бұрын

Woman (chunky)

Homie really wrote a book called trigger warning and gave his main character ptsd

@babyvia6712

5 жыл бұрын

Elaina Hall I know, it’s basically the embodiment of the phrase: it hurts itself in its confusion!!!

@GummyDinosaursify

5 жыл бұрын

@@babyvia6712 *IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!*

@DAEsaster

5 жыл бұрын

It could've been a good book about the reasons that we have trigger warnings but nooooooooo

@Darkerxz

5 жыл бұрын

Its a homegirl!

@ethernetgirl2001

5 жыл бұрын

@@Darkerxz she's just the co-author though so I'm assuming the first name on the cover is the person who had the main idea and most creative control

He’s not a pampered rich kid, he’s just the grandson of a millionaire. Got it

@alexwyatt2911

9 ай бұрын

Jake is the grandson of a millionaire who was paying for tuition of a military veteran-you know, a person who receives government subsidies for attending higher education. So, the author didn’t even need to have Jake enjoy the privilege of having a wealthy family member.

@stevendemayo3631

7 ай бұрын

@@alexwyatt2911 Trust me, a veteran using the GI bill for their tuition is not the same as having a millionaire in the family lol. It helps a lot, but there are still plenty of fees it doesn't cover

@magpieMOB

5 ай бұрын

It's amazing how sensitive privilege can be when it gets called out, kind of like how Gwyneth Paltrow went on a rant about the concept of "Nepo Babies", while she got her debut movie role in 'Hook' as young Wendy Darling because Steven Spielberg is LITERALLY HER GODFATHER (to clarify, this is not me accusing "all sides" - Gwyneth Paltrow might be 'liberal' but she's not a leftist, she's a capitalist)

@Faint366

5 ай бұрын

@@magpieMOB you don’t have to apologize or backtrack anything. Call out whatever bad behavior you see even if it’s on “your side”

@shoople

2 ай бұрын

my girlfriend is the granddaughter of a millionaire, but her dad is disowned because he broke and entered into his dads house before she was born 😂

Honestly, the most unrealistic part of this book is that an extremely wealthy Texas conservative would not only send his grandson to the military, but that the grandson would see combat.

@ItsTechnicallyMagic

Жыл бұрын

Grandfather probably paid for Jake to get into one of the military academies and influenced where he was stationed. But what's also unrealistic is that Jake should be 30ish and living in a dorm. Like rich grandad cannot pay for an apartment near the college he is a major donor to? Edited to reflect @Misterkingdom correction.

@misterkingdom3571

Жыл бұрын

@@ItsTechnicallyMagic I have to inform you that Jake is actually 24 in this novel.

@ItsTechnicallyMagic

Жыл бұрын

@@misterkingdom3571 I know. I was talking about what it should be

@jlrinc1420

Жыл бұрын

the most unrealistic part for me was the cop putting himself in the line of fire to save the students like he was trained.

@henryhammond7393

8 ай бұрын

Jake only saw combat because he kept getting into heated fights with his own fellow soldiers… and he had to be bailed out of that too 😂

“I took the name of my maternal grandfather” is about the rudest way possible to say he took his mothers name

@kstar1489

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I found that so odd. Why couldn’t he just say he took his mother’s maiden name? Too unmanly for him? How sad and pathetic

@flyingfox3296

2 жыл бұрын

Doesn't that mean he took his grandfather's name from his mother's side of the family? Like, his mom's dad. If it were "paternal grandfather" it would be his dad's dad.

@erinbailey7940

2 жыл бұрын

@@flyingfox3296 it also means he took his mother’s maiden name. And she was divorced, so it was just her name. He took his mother’s name. But that would be girly of him. So instead he said maternal grandfather. Because man.

@wormofalltime

2 жыл бұрын

@@erinbailey7940 nothing more badass and masculine than disrespecting your mom 😎

@carolyntalbot947

2 жыл бұрын

Jake's surname is too big for a little lady

My favorite part is that he's not "coddled"like the other students, but also gets out of trouble for being the grandson of one of the school's major donors. Real underdog, this one.

@sarahgrimes8892

5 жыл бұрын

@@kawaii33366 it doesn't give good representation to anyone

@leongkinwai9709

5 жыл бұрын

@@kawaii33366 In fairness, it's a university; I'm guessing no one with a lower than average income's going to be present, let alone properly portrayed, unless they're on a scholarship. *EDIT:* This is a _massive_ sweeping generalisation on my part.

@lotus_dream

5 жыл бұрын

@@leongkinwai9709 many poor people go to universities.. what are you talking about? Most of my friends are struggling to get by, but all are university students.

@leongkinwai9709

5 жыл бұрын

@@lotus_dream I'm not sure; I just realised how massively sweeping that statement was and that I shouldn't have made it to begin with.

@shutupdani

5 жыл бұрын

@@kawaii33366 Being called cis/cishet is an insult? How? They are just cis and straight. It's not like they're being called ugly and stupid.

my newest pet peeve when i rewatch this video is that they say the exit light is off because the power is out, when the whole purpose of an exit light is to stay on during emergencies where the lights go out

@mariaparabello6344

Жыл бұрын

Means the author is not familiar with security tech. Exit signs have a separate independent power source (usually Longlife battery). If those run out the sign emits an annoying warning hum to signal a needed battery change. Facility management is obligated to check those signs regularly, just like smoke detectors etc.

@alexjewett7455

Жыл бұрын

Given that the author has no idea what she's talking about with anything else, I'd say that sounds about right.

@awistaiw-uwu

Жыл бұрын

​@@mariaparabello6344 oh they hum when they need batteries? Noted a place I worked at had one humming in a back room and when I asked they were like "dw about it" lmao

@theruhandit1559

3 ай бұрын

@@awistaiw-uwuwow that’s actually funny as shit lmao

@reddaB

3 ай бұрын

I laughed at that bit too

Nothing I can write will ever beat my favourite line of this: "I was just trying to help a woman." "Toxic! Toxic! Racist!"

@BumboLooks

10 ай бұрын

It happens dude. Police recently stopped a black woman from drowning her own baby in the bathtub and the whole black community was angry at the police lol. Almost as if it is a black persons right to drown their own children or something...

@justsomerandompersononthei1773

10 ай бұрын

It's so heightened and absurd I actually burst out laughing. it's priceless.

@davidkonevky7372

9 ай бұрын

​@@BumboLooksyeah. Like in _______ and also _______. Oooh don't forget when it happened on _____ too 😂

@4nn4h

9 ай бұрын

​@@BumboLooksthat is so true. I made my mum coffee and she called me a toxic racist, doxxed me, broke my legs, and locked me in the attic. I've been trapped here for a week now and nobody will help because I've been cancelled.

@BumboLooks

9 ай бұрын

@@4nn4h Your comment is nothing but meaningless hyperbole... Here's something that would actually happen, ( this did actually happen to me ). You're at university. It's your first day so you don't know your way around the campus. You unknowingly walk into the women's graduate club. It is a floor dedicated as a women's only area. You see a student accidentally drop ten or so big books. You start picking them up. She tells you to "stop touching my shit" and says "get the fuck out of here, This is a sexism free zone" without explanation.

“Trigger Warning” but every time Jake’s “bigness” is mentioned he grows in size

@arthiramaswamy4655

5 жыл бұрын

he would have been able to wear dorm buildings as shoes by the end of the book

@kestopiagaming8697

5 жыл бұрын

Book is called “Trigger Warning.” Author gets Triggered everytime SJW’s are mentioned.

@angelairwaves

5 жыл бұрын

this comment knocked me out like Jake's BIG fist

@DFWNites

5 жыл бұрын

"Bigger Warning"

@PonkChonk

4 жыл бұрын

he a big b O I

This book feels like those "and then the entire bus clapped" but its geared towards facebook elderly conservatives

@babyvia6712

5 жыл бұрын

LMAOO that’s so fucking true

@pauldee1577

5 жыл бұрын

Perfect analysis 100% perfect you get a pizza

@LordoftheStrings109

5 жыл бұрын

@@pauldee1577 $100%

@vitriolicAmaranth

5 жыл бұрын

and it's several thousand times longer sorry, *bigger

@culwin

5 жыл бұрын

Not just elderly, unfortunately. Elderly ones don't know what half this book is talking about.

"The gunman was white, fairly young and average looking. Nothing about him screamed mass shooter" is the funniest line I've ever heard. Coming from a white, fairly young and average looking man.

@karanaher-wn4kk

Жыл бұрын

Ikr white fairly young average looking men are the first person to come up when searching mass shooter.

@pptenshi3900

7 ай бұрын

all of the mass shooters I can think of are average looking white men 😂 the hypocrisy

@bionodroid547

5 ай бұрын

gotta use that line in a comedy sometime lol

@noalowenstein6741

3 ай бұрын

that bit is such a weird bit of irony. "William" clearly thinks the average shooter is a Muslim Arab, but for some reason decides to go against those biases and opt for something more creative, and in doing so stumbles bass-ackwards into what most shooters are actually like. it hurts my brain to think about

@ghoma8336

29 күн бұрын

I can only hear that line in a standup comedian voice

I love how the author seems to think of college students as a bunch of wimpy pansys but said students are just constantly starting fights through the book

@iggykidd

9 ай бұрын

I mean, that’s a fascist tactic. You make your enemy seem paradoxically both easily defeatable weaklings but also an immediate, dangerous threat.

@lizabethhampton4537

8 ай бұрын

From a narrative perspective it is comical

@user-lo9dx9yc9b

8 ай бұрын

This is explained as a test of protagonist's abilites somehow arranged by the main antagonist in the scene read around minute 50, where anatagonist does sudden exposition of his evil plans.

@LancasterResponding

5 ай бұрын

@@iggykiddLike how they say Biden is an old senile man but also intricately planning to take everyone’s rights away.

@DrCruel

7 күн бұрын

It's not exactly contradictory. Antifa is a lot like an army of angry bigoted hypocritical kobolds.

Did the author really introduce a female character with essentially, she stood there boobily....

@xivCatumin

5 жыл бұрын

"Boobily" is my new favorite word.

@dankleeb8788

5 жыл бұрын

“With much boobage”

@Cheyruz

5 жыл бұрын

"She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."

@kylemagaro231

5 жыл бұрын

He clearly appreciates a woman with big smarts

@quentin9628

5 жыл бұрын

It works with male characters, too.

The giant porg behind you is probably regular sized to jake. I don’t think he’d even be able to see actual porgs, they’d be microscopic to him

@GummyDinosaursify

5 жыл бұрын

*B I G*

@Rat-Baby

5 жыл бұрын

I think you mean they'd be microaggression to him.

@travisdk84

5 жыл бұрын

I don't know if Jenny has already named the big boy, but from now on I vote we call him Jake the Porg

@johnathonharker266

5 жыл бұрын

The actual reason nobody likes Jake is because he's so *B I G* that gazing upon him invokes eldritch horror. We are ants beneath his *M A N* feet.

@rockyseverino9230

4 жыл бұрын

@@johnathonharker266 whoa dude, nice Lovecraftian twist you took us on

That first scene with the violent mob is such a beautiful, absurd representation of what conservatives think "cancel culture" is: An innocent white man with traditional values gets called a fascist for no reason and then anonymous attackers swarm him while onlookers cheer for his demise. When you have never faced real oppression and discrimination in your life, I imagine this is how dramatic it feels when strangers call you out on Twitter for using a slur.

@jasperjazzie

Жыл бұрын

it's wild how badly they want to be oppressed lmao

@Krissy_K888

11 ай бұрын

and acting as if conservative men stand up for women, while liberal women are the ones defending their abusers is just mind-boggling.

@Dis_Dis

10 ай бұрын

Fr tho. Like, my brother in Christ. You can't get angry at people calling you a fascist if whenever there's a "Unite The Right" rally your ideological allies bring out torches and yell "Jews will not replace us!". The last time I saw that many Nazi flags I was playing Wolfenstein.

@makq00

9 ай бұрын

that scene sounds exactly like this meme post from tumblr called the down with cis bus and it makes me giggle that this author genuinely wrote that whole exchange

@corvinredacted

9 ай бұрын

It's extra ironic that he also complains about leftists being pacifist wimps who won't "embrace violence". Amazing how Jake is the perfect level of violent while all leftists are simultaneously too violent and not violent enough.

how is jake able to get a masters in biology without 1. already having a bachelors and 2. specializing in any specific branch of biology

@maxv9464

Жыл бұрын

He is specializing... In MACRObiology

@TheNasaOK

Жыл бұрын

It’s almost as if the authors don’t know how higher education works. „Yeah you just visit random courses, probably ‚male privilege history’ or whatever the libs are forcing down our children’s throats, and if you are good you get a masters“

@ReplyGuy22345

Жыл бұрын

His masters comes from screaming the phrase “biological sex” while have zero idea what it means or how it functions other then owning Trans people

@clsisman

Жыл бұрын

(Because he’s so big)

@jasonfenton8250

Жыл бұрын

His brain is strong and big.

He's not "coddled" but his rich grandpa fixes everything for him.

@howdypardner6278

Жыл бұрын

unlike his fellow students, Jake's not spoiled, his grandfather just handles all his problems for him with his wallet

@TwenOalley

Жыл бұрын

this book seems like a parody

@lilydahl7987

Жыл бұрын

he also says he doesn't get triggered, but literally has PTSD flashbacks and definitely needs to be in therapy

@parthasarathipanda4571

Жыл бұрын

Na this is a serious work of art, an homage to 'Threat Level Midnight'...

@IamAlmostRealWitch

Жыл бұрын

this! 😀

My favorite part is that Jake says “My maternal grandfather’s name” and not just mother’s maiden name, you know like how normal people say it.

@funnyccore

4 жыл бұрын

Well it's really important that everyone knows that he didn't change his name for a Woman

@GreatBooker

4 жыл бұрын

Maiden name sounds less MANLY and Jakes is a BIG MAN

@elsie8757

3 жыл бұрын

If he said it that way, people might erroneously think he changed his name for his mother instead of his grandpa, and we can't have THAT.

@elizabethbennet4791

3 жыл бұрын

@@smileitsjustagame2937 yeah had to throw "father" in there otherwise he'd feel too womanly ...all those hormones in our food and environment making men pansies and girly and such

@dracorex426

3 жыл бұрын

My maternal grandfather's last name and my mother's maiden name are different.

The sad thing is that this will never be a movie. No one in Hollywood could be as big as Jake Rivers

@jlrinc1420

Жыл бұрын

The could stack two weight lifters together like legos. Might be big enough with some cgi, the book doesnt mention four arms though.

@ihavewaited90daystochangem51

11 ай бұрын

@@jlrinc1420 tfw you realize Jake rivers is just goro from mortal kombat

@lunarcod7187

9 ай бұрын

​@@jlrinc1420two bodybuilders in a trenchcoat

@Hollie0601

8 ай бұрын

this made me laugh so hard i choked on my own spit. there aren't many things in life that bring me that much mirth

@rikzw6846

7 ай бұрын

trigger warning adaptation with every huge musclebro in hollywood playing jake. every time the camera angle changes its a different dude. vin diesel, the rock, john cena, momoa. fuck it, make kumail nanjiani the Final Jake

It's interesting that Jake's PTSD is treated sympathetically(-ish), while the PTSD of the students and faculty held as hostages are mocked. It's also really inconsistent that his PTSD never came back up again during the hostage situation when one of the traumatic images was of someone being held hostage.

@arturoaguilar6002

Жыл бұрын

And Audie Murphy’s PTSD is glorified, so the protagonist could say the line “His safe space was behind a gun” without realizing how messed up that actually was.

@timothymclean

Жыл бұрын

@@arturoaguilar6002 I don't think the author (or Jake) realized that the quip they wrote/said was actually literally true. Or that Audie Murphy had PTSD. Or that the flashback written to explain that Jake's a veteran who saw combat was a PTSD symptom.

@rooty

8 ай бұрын

It's because it's just copied beat for beat from First Blood

@aidanpeterbio

6 ай бұрын

because the hostage situation is jakes time to be a badass and save the day, not be a mentally ill pansy with any kind of actual internal conflict

@GardinerAlan

Сағат бұрын

In Jake's brain he can no longer see his PTSD memories because everyone was in camo.

when the book just casually makes sure you know the "evil SJW" professor has a very large nose

@dopdrop8998

3 жыл бұрын

Oh no

@pianoaddict772

3 жыл бұрын

Good to know the author is an antisemite

@LP-lj9ig

3 жыл бұрын

​@@pianoaddict772 bad character traits tend to all come together. If one hates other races and homosexuals, is it really that far for them to start hating women and jewish people too?

@mikegribanov6105

3 жыл бұрын

*whistling* come here, boy! Good dog!

@jali4000

3 жыл бұрын

🤔🤔🤔

There are two genders: Big Good size

@rhysgrammling4531

4 жыл бұрын

I am the snowflake non-binary gender of Smol lol

@rhysgrammling4531

4 жыл бұрын

I am the non-binary snowflake gender of Smol lol

@vangobango7627

4 жыл бұрын

@@rhysgrammling4531 it's incredibly reckless of you to assume Smol isn't a good size

@YourFaceisPretty

3 жыл бұрын

I'm just dog.

@elizabethbennet4791

3 жыл бұрын

lol

I’m not finished yet, but I’m really struggling to get into this “Dog” character without knowing if he’s big or not.

@jessicest

Ай бұрын

imagine how much depth it'd show in Jake's character if Dog was the size of Peter Dinklage "It's not the size of the Dog in the fight..."

@TomPVideo

5 күн бұрын

"It doesn't even have a first name, it just says "Dog!""

@GardinerAlan

Сағат бұрын

Setting it up for the sequel where Dog turns bad and Jakes immediately surrenders bc Dog is 2 inches taller than him - and size really does matter. But then he grabs a chainsaw outta nowhere and attacks Dog's knee 'cutting him down to size' but then Jakes spares his life bc now he is 'the bigger man'

The funniest part was the implication that sneeze loudness is corelated to nose size

@SpellboundSpectre

9 ай бұрын

Jakes big nose bigly sneezed like a big gust of big wind

@iggykidd

9 ай бұрын

Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Like a small nose would build more pressure?

@NotTheAntichrist

9 ай бұрын

I wonder if Jake's nose is as big as Doc Motumbo's. If Jake says your nose is big does that mean it's even bigger than his or, since Jake IS big, any nose that's the same size as his is a big nose.

@iggykidd

9 ай бұрын

@@NotTheAntichrist I believe we are to understand that Jake, while very big, has a nose that is proportionately average-size relative to the rest of his face, so while relative to each other, his nose may be as big or even bigger than Motumbo's, it is not a thing worthy of ridicule, according to the author. Having a nose that is oversized relative to your face is apparently something that Motumbo should have trained for, and is a sign of his lack of conviction to being manly

@NotTheAntichrist

9 ай бұрын

@@iggykidd I think it's a metaphor. He nose too much.

beginning of the book: protagonist has ptsd flashback ending of the book: ptsd is fake actually

@PalomaDreams17

5 жыл бұрын

Don't be silly, everyone knows only *MANLY MEN* get PTSD from *the war,* and deal with it by being aloof badasses, which is very healthy

@thatonestormtrooper2760

5 жыл бұрын

Now that's character growth. Turns out all you need to do to defeat PTSD is just dont. Dont have ptsd you goober

@joebob3719

5 жыл бұрын

@johnmburt1960 "PTSD is only real for the troops!" Okay what about this troop who has PTSD? *fingers in ears* "lalalalala"

@daniellafernando7966

5 жыл бұрын

*Logic: 100*

@KPater-mf4je

5 жыл бұрын

beginning of the paragraph: I hate it when women are being mistreated. end of the paragraph: but if a woman is assaulted in front of me I'm okay with that.

"It's my first day at Liberal High...And- I don't think I fit in." He said as he pulled up his mask just below his nose.

@SkiesProjects

2 жыл бұрын

Fantastic

@ordinarycrab_2257

2 жыл бұрын

This comment right here is brilliant

@3squareddesigns

2 жыл бұрын

Perfection!

@plantsandfish7197

2 жыл бұрын

thanks i hate it

@jamesmcmackin8773

2 жыл бұрын

*Thin Blue Line Baby Yoda mask with Punisher skull that his mom made him wear so he doesn't get 5G poisoning

You gotta appreciate the author's backstory. I've never seen a conservative so careful with pronouns before.

@diosrightcalfmuscle4090

Ай бұрын

When conservatives ssy "i dont have pronouns" theyre usually just stupid. But Joe Johnstone goddamn means it

Gotta love those books that tell you EVERY action: "Jake abruptly stood up on both feet before walking big long strides towards the door, taking the knob in his big left hand and turning it counterclockwise."

@hellaradusername

Жыл бұрын

Jake's brain sent electrical impulses to his rippling muscles to help him turn the door knob

@greatestgianni

Жыл бұрын

Jakes chest moved up and down, his mouth taking in BIG and LARGE amounts of air and filling up his BIG lungs.

@discordlexia2429

10 ай бұрын

My brother once told me that when writing, every word is a sin that must justify its existence. There are no "good words" except where they say something that advances the story, the characters, or otherwise contributes to the narrative as a whole. Any word that doesn't do that, that serves no such purpose, is mere ballast and drags the story down.

@4nn4h

9 ай бұрын

The Trump Tower book is even worse than this one in that regard. It's genuinely worse than your joke example sentence

@ovgem

6 ай бұрын

@@discordlexia2429 that's an interesting idea

if you switch 'liberals' with 'preps' this book is basically my immortal

@emmae2520

5 жыл бұрын

How could say something so brave yet so true?

@dogmouthhorse

5 жыл бұрын

my names eBigny darkness dementia raven way and im so big and good-sized i can't fit into my hot pink fishnets :(

@yaboimagnus4776

5 жыл бұрын

It is tho

@themoon-iy1kg

5 жыл бұрын

10,000 Subscribers Without Any Videos I’m glad i don’t know what that is

@Juliebel177

5 жыл бұрын

Gosh, it soooooo is!

When Jake was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs Every morning to help him get large And now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs So he's roughly the size of a barge

@RebeccaKatsuya

4 жыл бұрын

This is too perfect! 😄

@stoppickingurnose7852

4 жыл бұрын

Jake also has high cholesterol. I wonder why.

@bificommander

4 жыл бұрын

No one's slick like Jake Riv No one's big like Jake Riv No one's *BLEEP*'s as incredibly thick like Jake Riv's . For there's no man on campus half as manly. Perfect, a pure patriot! You can ask any Chad, Kyle or Karen. And they'll tell you how much they want that bod.

@TheAirBear2000

4 жыл бұрын

No one's droll like Big Jake No one's swole like Big Jake No one fits his assigned gender role like Big Jake "I'm especially fond of the patriarchy" My what a guy that Big Jake!

@gyralstasis7975

4 жыл бұрын

@Carlos Adrián Aguirre so he's roughly the size of a brig?

it's so funny to me that the only thing that happened between Natalie and Jake is her endlessly complimenting him and agreeing with his worldview, and by the end of the book he's madly in love with her and forgives her for helping to take a school hostage and committing acts of terrorism. Apparently the only thing Jake wants in a woman is compliance and an ego boost and he's in love

@timothymclean

Жыл бұрын

To be fair, it seems more likely that the author just didn't put that much thought into the romantic subplot. But your version is pretty funny.

@mrodo5175

11 ай бұрын

I meannnnnnnn, I imagine that'll get most men going

@VideoGuy232

7 ай бұрын

Sounds like most of my dates tbh (I’m a gay male)

I work in a library and whenever someone checks out one of these books I always have to refrain from being like DID YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD AND HIS NIECE WRITES THESE (I have told all my coworkers though)

@anndoherty8255

Жыл бұрын

SAME

@paulahik211

Жыл бұрын

She can't write.

@impossiblewolf2371

Жыл бұрын

SAME

@fightvale57

11 ай бұрын

Whhhaaattt

@celisewillis

10 ай бұрын

Why not tell them? Many readers like author trivia like this

I don't consider it a good day unless at least two strangers have approached me to monologue about how cool I am.

@stumbling

5 жыл бұрын

Ha! Good one! Your wit is only surpassed by your charm and overall bigness. You're the kind of person who knows what makes a good day and what just isn't gonna cut it, and you don't have time for time wasters who fool around when they should be focusing on making the day good, great even, as you make every day to everyone you meet.

@unicornsprinkles3277

5 жыл бұрын

Your flawless vocabulary and stylish wit set you apart from others in this world

@babahu15

5 жыл бұрын

[looks at profile picture] Dog. Just Dog.

@keegster7167

5 жыл бұрын

Do you get good days often?

@eh8772

5 жыл бұрын

@@keegster7167 Have you seen my profile picture? Every day is a good day.

Jake: Man, these people are traumatized by a very horrific act of terrorism. What a bunch of pansies. Also Jake: *suffers from PTSD*

@sweatyskeleton7390

3 жыл бұрын

Shhh, nobody tell him you have to go to a therapist or psychologist (you know, someone who's job description includes creating Safe Spaces) to get a PTSD diagnosis

@seneca1932

3 жыл бұрын

Sweaty Skeleton, there’s a whole list of questions they ask you. After that, they talk to you.

@nosferados8402

3 жыл бұрын

"Cutting myself to own the the libs..."

@charityxu2364

3 жыл бұрын

Also Jake: gets triggered

@yeahgirl11

3 жыл бұрын

@@charityxu2364 Nah, don't you know? ONLY veterans are allowed to get triggered, because the only PTSD that's valid is combat PTSD. /s

I love how Chief McRainey is like “ugh here come the feds, they’re going to try to take all the glory from us local cops and take over the whole investigation” when he’s literally the campus police. That’s like a bombing happening at a strip mall and the mall cop being upset that a SWAT team showed up.

@maxwellpaynewell5305

7 ай бұрын

Isn't that the plot of Paul Blart

@viralgayguy

23 күн бұрын

having once worked in proximity to campus police, that is pretty true to how they actually see themselves

it's extremely easy to realize that this entire book is just some sort of power fantasy for the author, it's literally like the adult equivalent of a little kid drawing a buff guy labeled "me (cool)" next to an angry stick figure labeled "timmy (is stinky and stole my red crayon)"

@zelaird8526

10 ай бұрын

"me" (big)

@reaganrambles1951

9 ай бұрын

While that might be an easy assumption to make, I don’t think you watched this video to the end.

@RachelRichards

8 ай бұрын

The author is a woman.

@atomheartother

8 ай бұрын

​@@reaganrambles1951actually I can't find it anymore but there was a comment on here from a trans man saying they kept thinking this book read like a closeted trans man's power fantasy throughout the video, only to be surprised by the end of the video. Make that what you will.

@g.e.9227

5 ай бұрын

vouch-- everything about this from the bigness to the defensive masculinity to way natalie is described in her character introduction to the way jake talks about taking his own name from a male relative screams repressed conservative middle aged trans man@@atomheartother edit: dghldkgdjf also how similar 'jake' is to JA's name and the extremely tersely maintained lack of pronouns in the author bio

The only reason this book is not adapt into movie is because theres no actor that big enough to play Jake

@Koooles

2 жыл бұрын

heard they contacted Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but they did not wanted adaptation to be tainted by an actor from a snowflake country filled with triggered government.

@bigdadybojangls9219

2 жыл бұрын

@@Koooles actually, they casted him and Dwayne Johnson to play Jake. Bjornsson wouldve been the top half with the rock sitting on his shoulders. They had to make a custom trench coat to fit them but it worked

@wubanizer

2 жыл бұрын

@@bigdadybojangls9219 hahaha! Literally made me lol

@Fanimati0n

2 жыл бұрын

Only Andre the Giant could compare to the stallion of a man that Jake is, & he has now left the mortal coil

@kodileigh9210

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but Dwayne Johnston is partially Samoan and John is a white MAN. And that just won’t DO for “big man Jake”.

Jake: unlike you sjws I am not easily triggered. Also Jake: literally gets triggered within the first chapter. Tenses up whenever he sees a middle-eastern person

@whussung

5 жыл бұрын

Jake is already triggered in the first sentence by the book he was reading lol

@MrMike855

5 жыл бұрын

No, that's antifa who shows up. I don't get why people don't criticize the stupid implication that a roving black block of people just constantly patrols this college attacking those that oppose them. Instead of saying they're "ninjas" or "Muslims".

@jjju3

5 жыл бұрын

*_grrr man bun_*

@pisscvre69

5 жыл бұрын

Jakes a SnOwFlAkE

@muumipeikkomahtava4927

5 жыл бұрын

@@MrMike855 Oo scary antifa ninjas. Sure.

Just coming back to this video again to be reminded of and comforted by how big Jake is. Just so big.

@BumboLooks

Жыл бұрын

It isn't his height, it's his genitalia you see......

@glittery_cucumber

Жыл бұрын

Be careful he won't accidentally snap your neck while he comforts you though!

@alexjewett7455

Жыл бұрын

At this point, I can only picture him as an actual giant. Like, 10 feet tall, minimum.

@BumboLooks

Жыл бұрын

@@alexjewett7455 Genetically engineering super-soldier during the cold war.

@alexjewett7455

Жыл бұрын

@@BumboLooks I was thinking more in the fantasy sense, but that works, too.

I googled “pajama boys insult” for you, and it refers to a character in a 2013 infomercial promoting Obamacare. It’s obscure af, and its use has convinced me that this book is not actually satire. Conservatives really think this way, god help us.

@UniquaDaBackyardigan

Жыл бұрын

@@dankuneasewaybill333 long rant for someone busy taking care of their family and working 10 hour days.👍🏼

@monique911

Жыл бұрын

@@dankuneasewaybill333😂where are you getting that chimps type 2 words per minute with…sticks? You’ve seriously been crying all over this video. THIS is your 10 hour work day. If you’re saying that that rant or any of your other rants took you a minute to type, you’re a liar. Lying is a sin. Go repent.

@fightvale57

11 ай бұрын

Whoa. That's what pajama boy is

@adamstewart9104

6 ай бұрын

Pretty sure it's actually an Islanders fan taking a shot at John Tavares.

@buttnakedsnake9357

2 ай бұрын

Is this whole comment section just generalizations

Jakes be like "oh antifa is a dangerous terorrist organization, but they're also a bunch of snowflakes with brightly colored hair, but they're also an organized team of ninjas wielding improvized weapons, but theyre also a bunch of soyboys"

@HeloisGevit

4 жыл бұрын

The fascist dilemma. The enemy must be strong enough to threaten us with annihilation but also very weak because we are the greatest people that ever was!

@vaiyt

3 жыл бұрын

@@HeloisGevit The enemy must be devious and intimidating to justify us "retaliating" with extreme violence and also to make us look better when we "win".

@dudeidontcare3430

3 жыл бұрын

antifa are mostly a bunch of drug addicts and bougie rich kids that never get arrested for the shit they pull

@maxlap7855

3 жыл бұрын

@@dudeidontcare3430 ok. You can get back on /pol/ now.

@Smilephile

3 жыл бұрын

@@maxlap7855 pol boogie man

Book description: "This is a book about a hero who doesn't get TRIGGERED like all the LEFTIST SNOWFLAKES!!!" Literally the first paragraph: Hero gets so upset by a book that he feels the urge to throw it against a wall.

@oswald7716

4 жыл бұрын

This is the funniest example of conservative cognitive dissonance I've ever seen

@tarvoc746

4 жыл бұрын

@@oswald7716 IKR? I mean I see shit like that every day on the internet, but it's still hilarious to see it in a legit publication.

@amityislandchum

4 жыл бұрын

It's funny how conservatives think you're a worthless snowflake if you express your emotions through words or demands for better legislation, but you're a total badass if you express your emotions by screaming, breaking things, and hitting people. Kinda sounds more like the difference between adults and children.

@brendaningram4362

4 жыл бұрын

I mean he also then experiences a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from, and is a major reason why trigger warnings exist sooooo

@Wveth

4 жыл бұрын

@@brendaningram4362 "a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from" I'm sorry? EDIT: OH! Never mind, I misread your comment. Derp.

While listening to someone read, my brain illustrates the narrative for me in my mind's eye. I imagined every time Jake was mentioned as being big that he grew a foot taller and became bulkier. He's basically the size of buildings by the end.

@fightvale57

11 ай бұрын

Hahahahagahga. I just want you to know how much this made me laugh

@Vulgar_Worlock

11 ай бұрын

I guess macroeconomics are the only subject he really understood

@Omni798

11 ай бұрын

@@Vulgar_Worlockh, I thought it was Macrobiology? 🤔 Since that’s what he’s… majoring… in….

I wish Audible had a section of sarcastically read audiobooks with snarky commentary. I would buy a lot more audiobooks.

The irony of a book mocking liberals for being triggered being about a guy who is being constantly triggered is hilarious

@maggiebee1005

4 жыл бұрын

Thats how most people who make triggered jokes are tbh lol

@lordhagfishii9192

4 жыл бұрын

It’s so funny 😂 they call liberals snowflakes but they are literally the biggest of snowflakes. They’ve become the very thing they’ve fought to destroy 😂

@LIZABETHYEAUX666

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@nekrataali

4 жыл бұрын

I've been triggered myself, but never "Ima-write-a-900-page-rage-essay-about-how-totally-not-triggered-I-am" triggered lmao

@TheAdditionalPylons

4 жыл бұрын

Literally? Literally the biggest snowflake?

This whole book has the same energy as my 10-year-old brother insisting he'd stay stone-cold during those action film torture scenes if it were him instead of the hero

@frog1405

3 жыл бұрын

Finally a description for this book that fully describes it.

@silent-hills

3 жыл бұрын

This,,.this is actually, like, extremely accurate omg lol

@Otie64

3 жыл бұрын

laughing so fucking hard, i haven't even watched the video yet but this description is so funny / edit: have now, jesus christ this is apt lol

@thefatherinthecave943

2 жыл бұрын

“They pulled my skin off. I just shrugged and asked for a cigarette”

@lsmmoore1

2 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure even people who DO resist torture usually don't stay stone-cold throughout it (and even if they do, the "stone cold" could be catatonia or some other brain condition and not really what it appears to be - that or the torture being done in such a way it allows very little avenue for reaction and creating what is effectively a "living death" and the closest IRL thing you could possibly imagine to an evil witch turning you into a doll or other inanimate object, which, yes, is a thing that happens, perhaps especially when the torture is done in an abusive facility in the name of "improving behavior", like the troubled teen industry or Judge Rotenberg Center).

I was shrieking and shaking at the "Not horse. That's not a good codename. Now Stallion maybe". The sheer comedic value of that single sentence

@madpie5147

Жыл бұрын

What do you want to bet that his codename ends up being "mustang" because he's a big strong boy who can't be tamed by the Liberal Agenda

@sophiaako7663

Жыл бұрын

I wanted the next line to be "now HorseMAN, maybe. Bojack Horseman

@katherinesanderson8990

Жыл бұрын

@@sophiaako7663 Bojake Horseman

@fucker3773

Жыл бұрын

@@katherinesanderson8990 bojangles

@greatestgianni

Жыл бұрын

@@fucker3773 bodonk

I'm glad this book is drawing attention to the most serious problem in universities these days - the outrageous cost of textbooks, thanks to academic publishers' exploitative business practices.

@mr.b89

Жыл бұрын

Never pay for textbooks only get them on online

"explored her body" is not the greatest word choice for trying to find a bullet wound.

@gracelessabomination9847

5 жыл бұрын

ikr

@anxietyyeet9859

5 жыл бұрын

SPOILERS

@TimeandMonotony

5 жыл бұрын

I was expecting one of those easily offended libtard snowflakes to run up and scream about him touching her without her consent, and also call him a racist.

@geekygecko1849

5 жыл бұрын

I thought the same thing. I was like maybe you should review your word choice Jo

@ramywiles

5 жыл бұрын

THAT WAS MY THOUGHT TOO, I was like... that is *extremely* sexual language for this life-or-death situation

This entire book reads like the "christian soldier destroys atheist professor" copypasta

@camelspiderattack4161

3 жыл бұрын

and that soldier's name? Albert Einstein

@GrahamBarth

3 жыл бұрын

God's Not Dead 3: Big Jakes' Revenge

@dorongrossman-naples9207

3 жыл бұрын

@@KB-zq9ny Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily. You can't just decide someone isn't Christian because it's convenient for you to not be associated with them. Every heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?

@dorongrossman-naples9207

3 жыл бұрын

@@KB-zq9ny A Christian is literally someone who follows the religion Christianity, don't try to be pulling this bullshit where Christian just means "person who is good" because literally no one uses the word that way except for you and other apologists.

@KB-zq9ny

3 жыл бұрын

Let's just agree to disagree.

My favorite part was when Jake said "it's biggin time" and then bigged all over the shooters

@diosrightcalfmuscle4090

8 ай бұрын

He's like a thwomp

6:03 Gotta respect how the author asked herself what kind of character her target audience would find appealing, and came up with a guy that takes two to five minutes to decipher visual information and 0.03 seconds to formulate assumptions

The dude, a trained soldier, gets triggered into some PTSD episodes just from looking at a different shade of skin but students being traumatized by an armed hostage situation are below him.

@discospider4120

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah you know it's real unfortunate how the author accidentally demonstrates how toxic masculinity prevents people who need help from actually seeking it and regarding others who struggle as lowly.

@donqueshot2217

3 жыл бұрын

@@discospider4120 is this unfortunate, though? This may enter tinfoil hat territory, but if I wanted to make conservative readers think about the complexity of something like PTSD, I might try a subversive approach where I appear to play into their prejudices at first. Edit: maybe the reference to Audie Murphy was deliberate.

@lukasthedark8478

3 жыл бұрын

I think the author was talking about the color of their clothes

@FIRING_BLIND

3 жыл бұрын

@@lukasthedark8478 ummm maybe in the first fight scene... But he tensed up looking at the middle eastern dude not only due to racial prejudice, but also possibly because all the enemy combatants when he was overseas were of Middle Eastern heritage... So.... The color of someone's skin definitely affects how Jake sees them

@lukasthedark8478

3 жыл бұрын

@@FIRING_BLIND I was only thinking of the first scene, I didn’t really have time to watch the rest, if that’s the case then you’re right

I'm not saying that Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature, but Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature.

@henryhammond7393

3 жыл бұрын

Huh, I just kept picturing him as a male Jenny given her reaction to his description.

@SamAronow

3 жыл бұрын

An antisemitic caricature with an incredibly WASPy upper-class birth name and background. It's like those old American political cartoons from the 19th century that portray the Pope as a Jewish stereotype to make him scarier.

@henryhammond7393

3 жыл бұрын

Sam Aronow Jewish Pope? Now I’m all confused...

@SamAronow

3 жыл бұрын

Henry Hammond So was the cartoonist.

@availanila

3 жыл бұрын

Also his name implies he's corrupt, lacks vision, not self aware, short sighted in thought, etc. in East Africa. It's a name used to imply something since it means intestines which is a callback to gluttony

"I always had really unkind thoughts about the Zodiac Killer." is a helluva line to hear when you're revisiting this video for the first time in ages.

@noalowenstein6741

3 ай бұрын

yeah what does Jenny have against Ted Cruz 😕

if theres anything you can take away from this, it's that no matter HOW BAD you think your writing is, it can still get published and sold.

@BumboLooks

10 ай бұрын

The goal is to make money dear.... Not to please your primary school English teacher...

@youseenednedisdead

10 ай бұрын

@@BumboLooks please ur nuts school nutz teacher

@catfan913

3 ай бұрын

if you're white and not poor, that is

@MaxLennon

Күн бұрын

As long as you strongly imply it was written by your well-known uncle (who MIGHT not have died over a decade ago, who's to say)

I can't believe the *first* paragraph is "phone bad book good"

@nunyabizness6553

4 жыл бұрын

Not just "Phone bad book good" but "Phone bad book good, because I can be violent with book"

@Robin-of2jt

4 жыл бұрын

@@nunyabizness6553 Also ebooks are cheaper?? If Jakes is so mad about the price of his textbooks, he should get a nook

@bryanbarcelo5440

4 жыл бұрын

@@nunyabizness6553 clearly the protagonist hasn't had a nokia phone

@milkworms7839

4 жыл бұрын

It needed to establish that Jake was big enough to Yeet a textbook across the room

@TheInfernalOnionz

4 жыл бұрын

Caitlin Jo Pepe Jake I cannot click the book

"You're not just some run of the mill student." Oh, so Jake's a special snowflake

@Marco_Onyxheart

5 жыл бұрын

Much better than a run of the mill snowflake like all those other students.

@henryhammond7393

5 жыл бұрын

Ow... the irony is actually causing me physical pain...ow....

absolutely insane to me that this writer touted an incredibly traumatized war veteran who wrote poetry and advocated for ptsd and mental illness research as some sort of anti-snowflake tough son of a gun macho man figure when in actuality he was someone the writer would most definitely call a snowflake if she bothered to learn more about the guy past surface level information

@lukaluukaa

8 ай бұрын

EXACTLY that poor guy struggled so much because of all the shit he had to experience

This whole thing reads like an unfiltered stream of consciousness that you would write down in one sitting in a therapy session and then your therapist guides you through turning it into a bunch of ABC "stuck point" worksheets so you can work on growing past them to become a healthier, better person. Doc: "OK Jake, now read this back, and tell me why you think it is that you hate Man buns so much?" Jake: "Because.. they look stupid! And they're impractical!" Doc: "I think we both know that's not it Jake." Jake: "They're... They... They represent that masculine standards are changing and leaving me behind and that frightens me..." "OK there's something we can work with. Because you get to decide what masculinity means to you, there no monolithic standard you need to conform to, and it's not dependant on other people. It may not feel like it right now, but with time and effort, you can change the way you feel about these things. You don't have to allow them to dictate what you think about the world." Jake: *hugs the doc while breaking into cathartic sobs*

@aerrowqueing

Жыл бұрын

this brought a tear to my eye (it was a tiny tear because I am not big like Jake)

@discordlexia2429

10 ай бұрын

Doc: "Jake, why do you think people will attack you if you try to help someone?" Jake: "It's just... It's how these people think! You just try to help someone and suddenly they all hate you! Suddenly they're all against you!" Doc: "..." Jake: "I just wanted to help! I just... I though she..." Doc: "It's okay, Jake, take your time." Jake: "It's not my fault! I didn't mean to... It's just... These big hands! It's so hard not to break... Not to break..." Doc: "Jake, I know you don't want to hurt anyone, but you have to understand, a man of your size, acting so violently, so angrily... It scares people." Jake: "What was I supposed to do? Grandpappy told me it's a man's job to protect womenfolk! I just wanna be a good man, but they just hate all men!" Doc: "Do you really think they hate you, Jake?" Jake: "Of course they hate me! They all stopped talking to me, it's like I don't even exist anymore! I wish they'd club me, at least then I'd know for sure how they really feel!" Doc: "You think if it all turned into violence, it'd be simpler?" Jake: "Yes! Grandpappy told me all about the people that fought in World War 2! They were real men, they shot their problems!" Doc: "They shot, and that gave them problems, Jake. Each one of them came home and had to unpack their feelings. Trying to punch your problems away will only make them worse in the long term." Jake: "I just... I wanna be a good man, and I always thought I knew what that meant... But everyone has all these different ideas on what that means. It's impossible to be everything everyone wants. They all expect so much and it's all so confusing. I just wish it could be simple." Doc: "We all wish it could be simple, Jake. The world is complex, and at times people can be demanding. But all you can hope is to be the best person you can be, whatever people say a man is or isn't. You can't just punch your problems away, and the more you try, the more you scare people. The more you push them away." Jake: "...I just want women to like me. I just want to make Grandpappy proud." Doc: "Your grandfather. You've mentioned him in the past. He's a tough man?" Jake: "The toughest! He's everything I always wanted to be." Doc: "Is he violent? Have you ever seen him hit anyone?" Jake: "No, but... He taught me to shoot real young! He said a man's always gotta protect womenfolk 'cause we're bigger and stronger. He said I'm so big 'cause God made me strong so I could keep other people safe!" Doc: "You really do just want to protect other people, don't you?" Jake: "Yes! Of course! But the way they say it, I'm just a fascist, just a brute!" Doc: "Have you been called a fascist, Jake?" Jake: "Well, not directly, but people say that all the time online!" Doc: "People are cruel online. Have you ever been called a fascist in real life, Jake?" Jake: "...No, but I've been called a brute. I know they think it. I know they won't talk to me because they think I'm a fascist and an oppressor!" Doc: "Jake, do you think perhaps they are simply afraid? I know you had honest motivations, but the man you assaulted was lucky to survive without nerve damage." Jake: "It was an accident! I didn't... He..." Doc: "I know, Jake. I know that you're a gentle soul, but you need to be careful. You're a big man, and you can hurt other people easily. If you can't control your strength, people will be afraid of you even if you don't mean them any harm. Don't you think maybe that's why they're avoiding you?" Jake: "I just wish... I could prove to them that I'm a good man! That something bad would happen and I could protect them!" Doc: "Jake, do you really want your peers to be in danger? Does proving yourself mean that much to you?" Jake: "..." Doc: "Did you apologise, Jake?" Jake: "I didn't do anything wrong! I just... He slapped her! How could I know it was play? Grandpappy told me a man that hits a woman is a coward and a brute!" Doc: "Jake, you're never going to get past this until you admit that you made a mistake. There's a difference between being a bad person and doing a bad thing. Admitting you made a mistake and making amends for that is important. It isn't brute strength or violence that is the measure of a man, Jake, but emotional maturity." Jake: "Where'd you get that from? Some woke 21st century lib book?" Doc: "From Rudyard Kipling. He was one of the greatest English poets of the 19th century. To paraphrase: If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too, then yours is the Earth and all that's in it, and which is more, you'll be a Man, my son. There's a little more than just that, but it's all mostly the same note." Jake: "Well... What do I care what some old guy said?" Doc: "Jake... That's awfully woke of you!" Jake: "I mean, I just..." Doc: "Sometimes you don't apologise because you meant to do harm, but because harm came about anyway. Admitting that with your head held high, and making what amends you can, that is the course of a man. Are you a man, Jake?" Jake: "I... I'm more man than any of those snowflakes! I just... I don't always feel like it, you know? It's hard. It's scary. I... I'll kill you if you tell anyone but, doc... I'm scared, okay? I'm scared that all they'll ever see when they look at me is a brute and a fascist. And... I'm scared... What if they're right?" Doc: "Jake... I don't see a brute, or a fascist. I see a brave, intelligent, handsome young man, who's faced with a difficult problem and who feels lost. But, I know he'll find his path. I know he'll make the right decision." Jake: "...Thanks, doc. I... I'll apologise. I just... No, I'll apologise. You're right, it's what Grandpappy would do too." Doc: "I think you should talk to your grandfather about these feelings, Jake. It sounds to me like he just wanted to prepare you for a dangerous world, but that you've taken that to mean you shouldn't feel anything. He sounds to me like a stoic, like Rudyard Kipling was, but stoicism is about mastering your emotions, not ignoring them entirely. You can't master something you can't see, Jake." Jake: "I... Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I haven't talked to Grandpappy in years. He'll know what to do. I... Thanks, doc, seriously." Doc: "It's my pleasure, Jake. We all need a hand sometimes, even the toughest of us. That's why I'm here."

@lukaluukaa

8 ай бұрын

@@discordlexia2429why is this legitimately so well written

@discordlexia2429

8 ай бұрын

@@lukaluukaa My being a writer probably helps.

@cloudylemon2975

7 ай бұрын

​@@discordlexia2429 this legit made me a bit emotional lol

Random note: he went out of his way to say he took his mom's dad's last name instead of just saying he took his mom's name...

@eyesofthecervino3366

3 жыл бұрын

Haha . . . hwut?!?

@General12th

3 жыл бұрын

His mom clearly isn't worth respect, but Dog "Just Dog" Dog absolutely is, because he's a big man.

@GOFFBITZH666

3 жыл бұрын

Mom not big man, Jake no like no big mans.

@toddhollen

3 жыл бұрын

Call me crazy, but I don't think this author has a lot of respect for women.

@toddhollen

3 жыл бұрын

Or a strong command of the English language.

*makes fun of people getting triggered*....... *main character has PTSD*

@ipetzombies

5 жыл бұрын

God it's so perfect.

@KaijaSchmauss

5 жыл бұрын

If you ever needed proof that conservative baby boomers don't have clue what triggers are, this is it.

@jaeldi

5 жыл бұрын

and worse, then later makes fun of weak liberals who couldn't handle the psychological aspects of a combat situation. Hypocrite much? lol. I guess some people are just mentally strong and some aren't. /s

@Magic_beans_

5 жыл бұрын

But that's different because he's a WARRIOR.

@Hjtrne

5 жыл бұрын

Makes fun of people requiring special treatment due to easily being triggered*...... *main character doesn't do that. (And judging by what was read in the video, the main character doesn't have PTSD).

This whole book is a great example of making up a guy and getting mad at him

If you had said Onision wrote this I would’ve believed you

@prince_of_cats

Жыл бұрын

Or Ben Shapiro tbh

@ShakedownDreams

Жыл бұрын

I wouldn't, not enough scenes of the self insert protag being really weird with underage characters

@misterkingdom3571

10 ай бұрын

It’s not set in high school.

@SpellboundSpectre

9 ай бұрын

@@misterkingdom3571*elementary*

@Owen_013

5 ай бұрын

nah, even this is too well written to be onion boy

It’s the fact that the girl we are introduced to 19 minutes in has pockets deep enough for her to even put her hands in. Took me right out of the story

@subblonde3101

3 жыл бұрын

??

@ariabeane7973

3 жыл бұрын

@@subblonde3101 pockets in women's jeans are tiny as hell bruh 😔🤚. deep pockets is completely unrealistic lmaoo

@YonBaBa

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe she was wearing Jakes pants. Cuz you know, he’s big. Idk if you caught that from all the subtle clues.

@shannonfick7170

3 жыл бұрын

Let’s not forget that she stood in a way that made her breasts stand out. You know. Like how all women purposely do whenever we’re talking a big strong man. Because that’s our priority. Not just standing in a comfortable position. Who does that?

@YonBaBa

3 жыл бұрын

Standing in a normal, comfortable position is for pajama soy boys. When I meet a woman I always instantly stand in a way to make my crotch stand out because freedom. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

I wish my college had literal social justice warriors who popped out of the shadows with bike chains at the smallest microaggression. That would be so much more interesting.

@commandrogyne

3 жыл бұрын

be the change you want to see in the world. take social justice warrior to the most literal interpretation

@anewhero1216

3 жыл бұрын

>Walking across campus, side-eyeing a POC subconsciously as you pass each other Ninja SJWs with bike chains, appearing from a nearby bush: *Allow us to introduce ourselves*

@ArchenOpteryx

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t know. I think I’m getting enough Exp that I don’t need to grind on random encounters

@Frame_Late

3 жыл бұрын

@@anewhero1216 I want samurai right wing rural bois with hunting weapons to fight them.

@The11thEvilEx

3 жыл бұрын

Considering how many folks I know who used bikes in college, I cannot tell you how useful those extra bike chains would be for broke kids who couldn't always afford repairs.

Nothing delights me more than the homoerotic subtext of every man who sees Jake commenting on how big he is

the lore at the end about the authors identity genuinely threw me for a loop. this feels like a whole lot of family drama and puts the appearance of jakes uncle into a whole new light. holy shit

imagine writing a whole book mocking the left for trigger warnings, microaggressions, and safe spaces without understanding what a single one of those words mean.

@gerbill13

5 жыл бұрын

it reads Like a parrody bit i can see it be real.

@SL-ul3yr

5 жыл бұрын

In the author's defense, he is a very big man. Too big to understand the concept of micro-anything. Cuz big yknow. he big

@ZoeSquared21

5 жыл бұрын

And insinuating that microaggression means aggression from a small person.

@doctorhandsome

5 жыл бұрын

I love how she's unable to use any of those words in a sentence, to the point where she just straight-up says Jake overheard those specific words in an undefined conversation with zero context.

@illusoryVice

5 жыл бұрын

Imagine writing a book calling everyone special snowflakes, then outright saying that your oh-so-special protagonist isn't like 99.9% of the people around him. (I'm starting to wonder if this all wasn't one big troll scheme.)

“Nowhere near dying” I’m gonna use that compliment next time I see my grandma

@caramelcoffees

5 жыл бұрын

woah jenny reads her comments now?

@nickbell8353

5 жыл бұрын

That's right up there with "I ain't got time to bleed."

I want Natalie to come back in every horsedog sequel, and she gets swept up in whatever terrorist group Jake is confronting and ends up betraying him and getting shot and arrested. Inexplicably she’d be free again at the start of each book, obviously

Dust jacket states that Jake doesn't get triggered. Jake proceeds to get triggered in literally the first scene. This book is a masterpiece

Book Author: "Huehuehue r u triggered1?!??!" Main character: *literally has a PTSD flashback within the first few pages of the book because of antifa*

@Stonehawk

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, amazingly he literally got triggered

@timothymclean

5 жыл бұрын

It's like the author has literally no idea what "triggered" (or any of the other "libtard" phrases he uses) actually mean, and just got it down the grapevine from people mocking libruls.

@wildheartmustang

5 жыл бұрын

​@@timothymclean I'm like 99.9% certain that this entire book was written by his niece. There's no way you can convince me that army vet and former sheriff William Johnstone had a draft manuscript of this written in the 80's/90's, before he stopped writing those cowboy and horror books and died, when the book has references to "intersectional feminism", and the term wasn't theorised until 1989 by Kimberle Crenshaw and hasn't come into common parlance as a critical framework since not even the last 5 years :')

@ChrisMaxfieldActs

5 жыл бұрын

@@timothymclean She. Did anyone watch the whole video?

@ChrisMaxfieldActs

5 жыл бұрын

@@wildheartmustang I don't even think Jenny really believes that. It was simply the most charitable theory about the co-author subterfuge. Jo is clearly writing her own crappy fiction now. Good God, that book sounds so cringey!

The most unrealistic part of this book is how he's supposedly a veteran but both his knees work and he doesn't have back pain

@Nothingtoseehere-eo7zq

2 жыл бұрын

Also missing is 2 ex wives and a drinking problem funnily enough not caused by combat

@whiskeyblock100proof7

2 жыл бұрын

Motrin yo

@willowtdog6449

2 жыл бұрын

That's honestly tragic. This country does not treat it's armed forces or vets with the care and respect they deserve.

@Biiku_

2 жыл бұрын

I came out of my service a big ol' gay non-binary commie and even I came out with back pain and mental issues. Also, I can't fold laundry like a normal human and certain pitches of alarms and beeps make me taste metal.

@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083

2 жыл бұрын

An unrealistic part is that he's come out of the military with any level of patriotism for his country, which the book claims that he has.

The fact that Jake's trucker ninja codename wasn't "Trigger Warning" genuinely borders on reprehensible.

my favorite quotes from this “you know, like a real person would say” “it’s like i’m there” “my grandfather claims i have the soul of an old novelist” “girls always say that on first dates”

I would have really enjoyed omniscient narrator referencing everything to just how big it is in comparison to Jake. "Jake entered the Math building, which was at least 15 Good-sized Jakes stacked on top of each other."

@_chococat_

5 жыл бұрын

Luke Manning I’m snorting

@l0333

5 жыл бұрын

Best Comment Ever.

@ArchenOpteryx

3 жыл бұрын

Someone should make a second draft

@justinkroboth360

3 жыл бұрын

I'm assuming this university is in the US, so using anything other than metric to measure size seems wholly correct. "This clearly beta male was roughly about 0.63 Jakes in stature - he would be no problem for Jakes even on a bad day, which was any day that included reading."

@doctorwholover1012

3 жыл бұрын

Make Jake the new Kropog measuring system lol

“You’re young, yet you look down on other people your age.” Lady, that ain’t rare. Just read the KZread comments for any song made before 1995.

@edisonlima4647

5 жыл бұрын

"I'm six months old, yet I despise the music of today, also female singers back in the day didn't have to show any skin and..." Yep, you will always find that "special super rare old soul" on every comment section for any older music video.

@arson2847

5 жыл бұрын

The entire book is just an old soul KZread comment stretched to 500 pages

@deffdefying4803

5 жыл бұрын

I haven't even been conceived yet, yet I despise today's music because I need something to publicly hate to make me feel superior to other people because in fact, I am not actually superior to anyone - I'm most likely inferior due to my attitudes.

@FrenkTheJoy

5 жыл бұрын

"I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I could've grown up listening to this. Everyone my age just listens to Micki Nimaj and Jackson Bibber!" (Why do people always wish they were born earlier because they like older music? It's not like if you were born in 2005 you have no way to listen to music from 1965.)

@panonymousbloom5405

5 жыл бұрын

Also, it's not hard to look down on people when you're that B I G.

The fact that this was published makes me regret overthinking my writing so much

Amazing how our protagonist taunts a gunman and says he's bluffing, and the gunman doesn't just shoot him.

@jessicest

Ай бұрын

the gunman realized that his rounds are insufficiently big to take down Jake

I just realized that Jake says he took "his maternal grandfather's name" as opposed to his mother's, because that would not be macho enough.

@TheAutomaton37

4 жыл бұрын

Soooo...my mother's maiden name. Perfect

@chapsticker

4 жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ you’re right

@radiatorbacon5239

4 жыл бұрын

Wow I didn't even realize that because I haven't been thinking much about the logistics of this book but you're right. God masculinity is so fragile 😭

@radiatorbacon5239

4 жыл бұрын

@TooLateToTheStory yup I realized that but my comment still stands because of the fragile masculinity if the readers.

@torfinnzempel6123

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheAutomaton37 I was just about to say that technically maternal grandfather was the correct way to say it, but nope, mother's maiden name is actually the correct nomenclature.

Hi my name is jake rivers and I have a big tall large big grandpa (that’s how I got my name). I have pale white skin. I’m also big, and I go to a trigger warning lib school school called Kelton in America. I’m big (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly camo. I love Bass Pro Shop and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a camo jacket with matching comfortable shorts, an inside-the-waist-band holster, knife and gun. I was walking outside Kelton College. A lot of antifa stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

@MmMm-sf7pe

5 жыл бұрын

This is a masterpiece.

@richelle2551

5 жыл бұрын

This sounds like the opening of a wattpad book

@ramywiles

5 жыл бұрын

I'm not related to Ben Shapiro but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

@GummyDinosaursify

5 жыл бұрын

Is this the beginning of My Immortal?

@MmMm-sf7pe

5 жыл бұрын

@@GummyDinosaursify This fic is called Big Immortal.

Fun Fact: Jake would definitely know Krav Maga unless this book was set pre-1995, given that it is THE backbone of MACP’s Hand-to-Hand

@apanapandottir205

5 ай бұрын

He is simply to big for krav maga.

So I work at a used bookstore. And at one point I shelved a book that was written by “J. A. Johnstone.” Without being attached to William’s name. I may not like her politics or her writing, but I’ll be honest, I felt something when I saw it. Edit: I went back and checked, and sure enough, still no pronoun use in her bio in the back, nor an author picture. Still, it’s… something.

@samb3209

Жыл бұрын

JA Johnston entering her girlboss era and we love to see it

@NotTheAntichrist

9 ай бұрын

She's literally gaslighting, gatekeeping and girlbossing

The mental image of a girl calling him a fascist and somehow summoning a mob to beat him into the ground is so iconic

@AlecNormal

Жыл бұрын

@@gregoryford2532 both of yall's comments have me losing it lmao

@princessbunny80085

Жыл бұрын

@@AlecNormal fr oh my gaaabbbe I was thinking this and then the second comment made it better 😹

@ZerdsJames

Жыл бұрын

Its like that powerpuff girls episode where the hippies come out of no where to yell at the girls lol

@PaulHofreiter

Жыл бұрын

The next step of cancel culture is manifesting it into irl space hence the liberal foot clan appearing. You see it takes a very high IQ to interpret the events of this book and

@lettuce674

Жыл бұрын

it really happened i was the mob

How depressing is it that this author secretly carrying on the legacy of their dead uncle wrote a story where the main character has a super cool uncle who was believed dead but then it turns out they're alive and just want to take the main character under their wing and be together forever?

@kimberly6663

5 жыл бұрын

This fucked me up man

@JMBAD_art

5 жыл бұрын

Didn’t even think of this angle. Shit.

@Hakumeiun

5 жыл бұрын

This made my heart hurt a little, but in kind of a funny way.

@caionapoli3434

5 жыл бұрын

idk Harry Potter did it first

@2DiamondAngelWings

5 жыл бұрын

Dang it, you just made me sad.

My grandfather, who reads almost all of the Johnstone books, was surprised I knew who the actual author was of those books these days. Thanks for the street cred with my grandpa, Jenny!

Originally, this just felt like Jake was a weird POV/Self insert. But now I know the truth. The real badass OC was DAWG

@edeniceribeiro7075

Жыл бұрын

Just dawg?

@thegamingbadger5940

11 ай бұрын

@@edeniceribeiro7075 Just Dawg.

@masync183

11 ай бұрын

@@thegamingbadger5940 it's genuinely incredible how that bit got old faster than the guy who drank from the wrong chalice in Indiana jones

"He doesn't need a 'safe space'." It.... it kind of sounds like he does.

@derp195

3 жыл бұрын

That's the key here. Whatever they are, they accuse you of being. "You're such a snowflake" says the person so offended that they need to attack others. "tRigGereD" says the person who has been triggered.

@sadrabbit53

3 жыл бұрын

@@derp195 I find that many in this crowd tend to project. Take the current (but not for long) president...

@derp195

3 жыл бұрын

@@sadrabbit53 Exactly. "They're trying to rig the election!" **furiously tries to rig the election**

@moody5763

3 жыл бұрын

@@sadrabbit53 Not all of us who lean right are like this, promise

@sadrabbit53

3 жыл бұрын

@@moody5763 Oh I know! My dad's whole side of the family is conservative and the ones I know personally are fine.

I love how "looking down on your peers" is played off like a positive trait.

@whatteamwildcats4033

5 жыл бұрын

How else is everyone supposed to know that the mc is better than what the author considers mainstream?

@Gee-xb7rt

5 жыл бұрын

you obviously don't live in the South with the irredeemable white.

@thomasjenkins7506

5 жыл бұрын

@@Gee-xb7rt yeah, that wasn't a racist statement at all...

@FrogLehane

5 жыл бұрын

When I heard I was like "yeah, that feeling when you meet a great guy and not only is he big and armed, but he also looks down on his peers". I mean, who could resist that?

@thomasjenkins7506

5 жыл бұрын

@@Gee-xb7rt i don't argue with racists. bye.

Can we just take a moment to recognise this book was released under the name of a man who died in 2004, whose death remained undisclosed for two years and whose niece has been releasing works under his name for two decades now. Just, something to think about while hearing the story.

@alexisb3829

Жыл бұрын

Very strange

@bogwife7942

6 ай бұрын

I was born in 2004. maybe I should start claiming to be his reincarnation and writing books under his name, too

"I can't wait to read the further adventures of Dog and Horse" was of the funniest things I have ever heard.

Is it just me or is Jakes Not Like Other Girls

@raminybhatti5740

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds quirky. 🤔😁

@sheriffkimbo

4 жыл бұрын

Nia Jakes isn't. Wait, that's Nia Jax. Carry on.

@beefcakesmchunkerson9079

4 жыл бұрын

Hi, my name is Jake Dark’ness Dimentia Raven Way

@n14d14

4 жыл бұрын

i mean most girls think antifa is good. but like, shouldn’t everyone?

@handsoaphandsoap

4 жыл бұрын

yeah because he’s a BIG MAN

"William authored 400+ books." "And William is also dead." "And the real person who wrote this book was a woman pretending to be a man." *the backstory of this book is even better than the book itself*

@ShadowSonic2

4 жыл бұрын

Johnstone's actual history is better. He apparently got kicked out of the French Foreign Legion and the joined the circus before becoming a Radio Host and then a Sheriff. THEN an author.

@olivialanc9035

3 жыл бұрын

HUH

@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013

3 жыл бұрын

@@ShadowSonic2 Jesus, aren't the Foreign Legion supposed to be the people that take anyone? Like...fucking anyone, to the point that they're a common choice for people on the run from some country's police and most are deployed without learning how to shoot properly? From the stories I've heard from people in the Legion, that sounds like it would Have to be really hard. Like...there are people in there now who have been beaten by their superiors to the point that they needed to stay in a hospital for six months, and multiple people that threatened to kill that superior if he didn't stop the beating that also all kept their job. It's hard to imagine what's over that particular line.

@BartMassey-PO8

3 жыл бұрын

My hunch is that long ago, perhaps sometime in the 1990s, William Johnstone became a house author; a pen name used by a bunch of writers coordinated by J.A. Johnstone. This was a pretty common thing back in the day: "Franklin Dixon" (Hardy Boys) is a good example. This would also help explain some of the genre-switching and the like. I don't find 200 novels (the number published before or soon after his death) in about 20 years to be a particularly plausible output level for one or two people.

@iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013

3 жыл бұрын

@@BartMassey-PO8 Agreed; it's definitely a name employed by multiple ghost writers. A minimum of 330 books in sixteen years (fuck, even thirty years) is a completely ridiculous level of output from a single human being. It would easily make her the single most prolific fiction author in human history. L Ron Hubbard ranks pretty high on that particular list and he only ever managed to write something like 500,000 words in his entire career, something he achieved by publishing in pulp magazines in an era where literally never reading back (much less editing) anything because no one would care in a month was a viable strategy. Like...this is bad, but even this isn't even close to the standard of writing you'd expect from a novel written in its entirety in a couple of days.

This book feels like the right-wing version of those "And the whole train clapped" Tumblr posts.

I love how the spooky antifa ninjas just keep appearing out of nowhere at completely random times like videogame enemies

@LancasterResponding

4 ай бұрын

Like playing Skyrim and spawning into Whiterun after installing Dawnguard and getting attacked by vampires.

@jessicest

Ай бұрын

coming out of nowhere as though they were........ ptsd flashbacks!

Jake: A warrior, but also a PHILOSOPHER Also Jake: It might be racist, but I tense up when I see Middle Eastern people

@beefcakesmchunkerson9079

4 жыл бұрын

Johnny Rohlf middle eastern person: *exists* Jake: IM TRIGGERED

@Fishandchipsguvnah

4 жыл бұрын

Jake: Unlike you snowflakes, I don't get "triggered" *sees brown person* Jake: *T R I G G E R E D*

@maxthepaladin2147

4 жыл бұрын

Jake: I might be racist Whoever was listening to him: ...but? Jake: But what? That's it

@angelikaskoroszyn8495

4 жыл бұрын

He jokes about people getting constantly triggered while he himself exhibits typical PTSD symptoms

@sholem_bond

3 жыл бұрын

@HolyBird007 Yeah, rewatching this (yet again) that occurred to me (actually for the first time, whoops). Jake gets flashbacks, and doesn't feel safe without having weapons/access to weapons. You could interpret the "Jake is uncomfortable when he sees a Middle Eastern person" thing as his untreated PTSD (because we never see him go to therapy/a support group) turning this into some kind of racist phobia, where he's fixated on Arab or Middle Eastern PoC so much due to his experience with them overseas/in the battlefield that that's 100% what he associates them with (enabled by racial attitudes he learned from American culture, which his time in military service really drilled in extra-hard?). He's still a dick, obviously, but it kind of exposes how (at least for this author/their fans) the role of the ideal, masculine man is actually a deeply damaged/unstable person.

I love that Jake is not only a hunky badass but also TORMENTED (ooouuuh) by PTSD..which conveniently only comes up when the author needs a justification for his racism.

@zakkizer2490

5 жыл бұрын

who needs good storytelling when you can exploit a serious mental health problem for the sake of blunt exposition and emotional manipulation?

@linyustics

5 жыл бұрын

AND they make fun of triggers too

@patientlywatching7775

2 жыл бұрын

ReeeeeeREEEEReeeeeee!!!!!! The book does suck though, I'll give you that.

I first watched this video while I was in hospital, and somehow the second hand embarrassment from the book was more painful than my pancreas exploding.

@JayWalkerOnline

7 ай бұрын

Your pancreas or your appendix?

@finnstewart4747

7 ай бұрын

@@JayWalkerOnline pancreas, not literally exploding, it just felt like it