I was married for 31 yrs to a Covert Narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. (He was Involved in organized crime.) When I asked for a separation several years ago, this resulted in him in registering a false complaint of “elder abuse”. I was arrested and faced a 5 year mandatory sentence if convicted. Fortunately, I was able to secure a videotape of his confession of setting this up to get back at me for trying to leave. I turned this over to the DA. Charges were finally dismissed but not before I spent 3 days in jail and paid 5k for a criminal attorney. He passed away last month. I am finally free.

@kristinbrowne8756

Жыл бұрын

hugs!

@miriam100ful

Жыл бұрын

truly shocking, so typical for these individuals, ultimate manipulation and control.

@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807

Жыл бұрын

Sorry, you went through this, and I am relieved that you are finally free of your husband. I believe your story and when narcs sense their supply is leaving them, they will do everything in their power to stop them. Narcs are controlling and nobody with no self-identity, other than the identity of others, which explains why they are relentless in keeping someone in a hostage situation. Whether a friendship or dissolving a marriage with them, narcs will put up a fight to prevent abandonment. I'm glad you are free of the toxicity.

@mac-ju5ot

Жыл бұрын

They'll give for the throat before they pass away .My dad tried that.I regret helping him as he was bipolar and being mean

@MM-qg5xh

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations 🎊

Lol they treat us like crap under their shoe but dont want us to leave is nuts

I was silent 🤫 dealing with one privately but that didn't work 😕 He got worse and worse over time, and so I had to expose him. It was necessary and empowering.

Never, never, never underestimate what they can and will do to destroy you. If you're going to take an emotional swing at them or out them, make sure your reason is worth the backlash.

For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever. However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes. And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out.They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life. Additionally, The unwavering support and dedication demonstrated by Metaspyhub@gmail. com have been pivotal in my journey to uncover the painful truth surrounding my partner's infidelity. From the moment I first reached out to them, their professionalism and unwavering commitment to assisting me in finding the answers I desperately sought were readily apparent and highly commendable. Through their swift action and meticulous investigation, They presented me with compelling evidence that left no room for doubt. Armed with this newfound knowledge, I confronted my cheating partner with newfound courage, reclaiming my self-worth and paving the way for a future filled with renewed hope. Throughout this emotionally challenging process, Metaspyhub's expertise and unwavering support served as a constant source of strength, offering invaluable guidance and empathetic understanding when I needed it the most. I am profoundly grateful for their unwavering assistance, as it has empowered me to move forward with unwavering determination and newfound resilience.

@xOnlyCarlyx

3 ай бұрын

Your description is spot on! Most people do not vet the interest to examine what these creatures are, unless of course, they are blond sighted by one. This is inevitable.

@yomiseno

3 ай бұрын

How do u get rid of awful ppl like that, like I have so much psychology knowledge and experience about people, I detected one and called him out for it

@yomiseno

3 ай бұрын

Took me a month, honestly. Maybe 2 years -- for most.

@user-es6jt6eb7t

2 ай бұрын

Their Benevolence and Helpful outward approach is the MASK TO COVER UP THEIR REAL MOTIVES. 100% PHONY BALONEY - EVERY COMMUNICAI IN WHAT EVER FORM IS 100% PHONY BALONEY

I was married to one of these who was diagnosed with sociopathic tendencies for 17 years and had 3 children. I left. To say that I was hammered is an understatement. I was pulverized. I lived in a small farming community which happened to be my hometown and I was raised Catholic, attended the Catholic Church and so did my mother, family, his family and my friends. You can maybe imagine what happened. That was over 30 years ago. My kids still live here so I stayed and helped when asked with my grandkids until I wasn’t needed anymore. I haven’t been invited to one event from any of my old friends special occasions but he and his wife haven’t missed one. This is extremely common when you leave these monsters. What they do to your kids is even worse if that is possible. Why did I stay with someone who was so incredibly cruel? I was surviving repressed memories of incest and a narcissist mother. Of course, narcissist wasn’t in the vocabulary 35 years ago. I’m still here and still recovering. Married again, divorced again. Many years later, married again and he took his life. Now I’m 70+ and my finances are depleted and so is my physical, mental and emotional health. I don’t quit and I don’t give up but I do get weary. Best wishes to everyone of you who are surviving. You can do it. ❤️

@tepe6340

Жыл бұрын

😢❤big hugs fr Australia

@floridamom6495

Жыл бұрын

Huge hugs and warm thoughts. ❤️

@mercedessanchez6844

Жыл бұрын

My heart is with you

@SuzkaMares

Жыл бұрын

God bless you! I pray you have some peace.

@ninath13

Жыл бұрын

God be with you 🙏🙏❤️❤️

I hate having too figure out how to get around all this

These creatures are pure evil... It's like unmasking satan Run!!!

@randy_cbc8811

2 ай бұрын

Or, they are smitten or possessed of a disorder that seems like almost pure evil, on that I can agree.

@AnitaPast-nr9uv

12 күн бұрын

Very well put. I actually (spiritually) saw her face unmasked and Satan IS behind it all.

I did the exact opposite of this- I publicly exposed my covert narc. Their behavior is extremely predictable so I planned ahead and was ready for the standard narc response. I needed to do this because it gave me closure. I also needed to do this to deliver consequences to her evil actions. I became unreachable to her immediately after, to mitigate any risk. The advice in this video ensures that covert narcs do not receive the consequences they deserve from people, aside from no contact. If you have the ability, expose them!

@MJ-qb5ph

Жыл бұрын

I tried - not one person agreed with me - I was re-abused across the board

@ezdeezytube

Жыл бұрын

@@MJ-qb5ph I did not require anyone to agree with me. I presented the documented facts, and left. I would not tolerate abuse with anyone close to her, or even allow an argument to begin with them. I was not there to argue a case, nor win anyone's hearts or minds. I was there to drop a truth bomb, and get out. Know what the limitations are, understand them, strike, and go full black-out (make certain there is zero chance of them being able to contacting you again).

@YesPlease1

Жыл бұрын

How did you publicly expose them? Like writing emails to their family and friends or something?

@robinantonio8870

Жыл бұрын

They will have been smearing you for a long time , they have positions of power, noone has seen their abuse except you... so attempting to expose them will always backfire on you even if you have evidence..noone will even look at the evidence that will show you are telling a truth the onlookers don't want to see. The only way to do it is if you 100% can do it and don't need anyone to believe you. Most people can't do that

@ninath13

Жыл бұрын

Just leave those devils alone you know when something is wrong with a person and please believe me they do too don't waist anymore time on them their not worthy to breath the same air we do 💕

Or, gossip, slander, character defamation and smear campaigns 👍

@PITTSBURGH06

Жыл бұрын

TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THEM IS NOT SLANDER, DEFAMATION OR SMEARING!

@kimberlymccracken747

Жыл бұрын

@@PITTSBURGH06 No, I meant that's a few of their tactics to harm others who resist their narratives 👍

@dahliafiend

Жыл бұрын

Which they do anyway in advance just in case.

I disagree with leaving them behind and letting them have what they want. NEVER let evil have what it wants just because fighting it would be an inconvenience to you or anyone else. To do so makes you a wilful accomplice to the future actions and atrocities it will do to others. Look hard at the world we have around us right now. The only reason we are having the massive societal problems we have now is from decades of people willingly and knowingly refusing to fight back against these types of evil people.

@Matt-602

11 ай бұрын

I don't owe the world nothing and I don't have to train people how to behave for other people at my expense. I'd rather just take the so-called L and go no contact and that's exactly what I did

@Matt-602

11 ай бұрын

That being said, I do like what you say because I do not believe that the "grey-rock it at all times" advice given out there IS the way to go 100% of the time. Sometimes it's better just to say "Eff you and this is why" at certain moments. If that's the sin of giving them so-called "negative supply," call me guilty!

@EmpathicCharWithBounderies

3 ай бұрын

This part! This is exactly what I keep telling people but people don’t want to dig deep to get to the bottom of what happened and why we are here to fix things for those who have been affected and to limit the harms of those in the future that are at the risk of being harmed. A lot of talking for talking points but no real solutions. Well, standing on truth is the first solution. Looking in the mirror and putting in the work for change…. We can’t get there without the truth of how we got here. 😞🙏

Some of my ex-husband's extra marital affairs are dead, and those who were once close to him but distanced themselves- either them or their children or siblings. You only join the dots when you escape and experience the 40 faced nature of their charismatically covered evil intent. If you escape with your life, you've won. You can not reason with evil.

@kimberlymccracken747

8 ай бұрын

Yes, it's' even more terrifying after you break away. Like escaping the devil's grasp. And, never quite sure why you were spared - so far 🤷‍♀️✌️😇

@allthingsnewlife

8 ай бұрын

​@kimberlymccracken747 yes so true, although I know it's only because I asked God to help me that I live, even my own family tried to sabotage and put us back with him, worse still, they wanted me in a mental institution to put the children in the ex husband's hands! Crash course in dark personality traits when you finally escape, it's a real wake-up call. Thank God for Ross and others who published this, you are saving lives 🙏

@alouise3557

7 ай бұрын

Exactly how many of your ex's mistresses are dead? What do you mean, "some"? What did you hear that died of and how old were they? Your comment should be clarified. Anyone can die for any reason.

These people retreat in thier shell, when unmasked

Thank you! My ex husbands girlfriend was founded choked to death. He was never found guilty due to lack of evidence. Check out "Did the Doctor kill the Doctor". I believe he was a sociopath. He was extremely abusive to me. But he discarded me quickly thank God. He had a bad end to his life. I can talk about him now because he is dead. Died in prison. Valuable advise I will not forget.

@franceshaggitt3104

Жыл бұрын

Lucky escape. She obviously was going to get worse treat ment, they tend to get worse..

@EmpathicCharWithBounderies

3 ай бұрын

People don’t believe it but a discard from a narcissist is a blessing…. I waited for mine to discard me physically after he had emotionally discarded me after my diagnosis with Lupus. He didn’t want to physically discard me so I had to put things in motion and he’s is so angry. He’s doing everything he can to destroy me. Everything including things that’s hurting himself in the mist of it; his credit and all. I don’t know what he’s going to do next but it would be the same no matter what happened in the end because he thinks he owns me! He thinks that no matter how horrible of a human being he is as a husband, father, and grandfather that I was supposed to stay until I didn’t have in breath in me. Because I didn’t he’s trying everything he can to make me pay. These people are very sick and the court system should have psychological evaluations on people like this where it’s clear they are trying to make their spouse suffer rather than ending the marriage. The laws and court system is why so many people end up gone in the hands of people like this…. It’s crazy how they allow these people to get away with things even though you have evidence because the evidence is not solid but end up using that same evidence to lock them up if they succeed and taking you from this earth. 😞🙏

One size does not fit all Give them hell as you leave if you wish.

@emmamonroe3311

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. My ex covert narc is also a sociopath. He’s a nightmare. Wolves in sheep’s clothing🤡👈🏻

Outstanding advice. Walk away without a word or a trace if it is at all possible. If it isn’t, carefully and methodically plan your escape. Any accusations or attempted negotiations will only serve as ammunition against you. Covert narcissists do not (and cannot) play fair. Their drive is to possess and destroy. When you know, you go as a certain other well known narcissist says.

He came to my job with his new supply and sat and ate in my section of the restaurant for 2 hrs, 3 mos after restraining order was lifted. I stayed in the back of house while he they ate so he didnt get to see me sweat thanks to my manager. NO EYE CONTACT with either. But i knew it was her when she walked in and he followed 10 min later. I felt so sick. I wanted to vomit. I was flooded with fear from the night he called the cops when i planned to move out. I COULDNT BELIVE IT THEN. I CANT BELIEVEIT NOW. I pray to accept that it happened so i can let it go daily. The audacity. The cruelty. To want to hurt me that much. It showed me again who he was and what he is capable.

When my husband and I walked away from my elderly covert narc MIL 3 yrs ago (when the pandemic hit), I became an expert at predicting her "cycle" of hoovering techniques. She has tried every angle in the book to try and re-engage my husband back into the "master servant" relationship. It's very predictable and a handwritten letter will come by post from her every 3 mths approx. as he blocked her on email due the frequency and content of toxic emails. Make no mistake, she is a cruel and viscous tyrant with sadistic traits.

@keithstewart7514

Жыл бұрын

Our mothers might be sister's dear...

@EmpathicCharWithBounderies

3 ай бұрын

Those narc mother-in-laws are the worst! The worst! 😞🙏

All facts! No contact and don't look back. Heal yourself, forgive yourself and learn. You have to grow and understand yourself so you don't repeat behavior and meet another narcissist. Don't engage with narcissist.

Holy cow “predictive awareness” is the perfect term for something I have come to learn is a blessing and a curse. Great video.

You can predict that there will be a reaction, and that the reaction will be disproportionate, but how long the narcissist will carry the fight on for, or how low they are prepared to go in order to try to win, is always a surprise. 8 weeks and counting here - I drew a line and said, "I'm done. Change or I leave." Several attempts have been made to respin this as her giving me an ultimatum. She is SO angry that I set this boundary unexpectedly. She presumed I'd roll over and let the hateful spite pass by as usual. I didn't. It's only relatively recently that I've started answering back. She doesn't like it at all. There is, I have been informed, a scale of injustice, and all her wounds are higher up the scale than mine, and therefore mine are of no consequence. There is no seeming ability or willingness to admit to the injustice in this. Apparently this is justice, and the injustice is to be found in my drawing a line against her appalling verbal behaviour. I see it all now, for what it is. The triangulation, the gaslighting, the invisible witnesses, the flying monkeys, the endless entitlement, the indignant rages, the deliberately cruel insults, the snubs, the passive aggressive behaviour, the utter selfishness in all areas of life, all the time. I think deep down she knows she's blown it, and is furious about it. So, project it all, lock, stock and barrel, on to me.

Sadly my son was married to a narc…and they have children. His ex-wife (she had the affairs and filed for divorce. She did everything she could to push him into file…he wouldn’t because he knew scripture and still was willing to work things out). Now all he wants is his children. The courts are favoring her. She has signed court orders which she has broken every single thing in the orders. She fled across state lines with the children and utilizes her boyfriend who appears to be operating under stolen valor…claiming to be an ex-marine. She has committed several felonies and even falsely claimed my son was abusing her and had him put in jail. (We drilled into our boys never to hit a woman. Even if she hit him first…my son knows he has brothers and a dad who would not allow him to harm a woman). Then he got out of jail and found her in their bedroom with her boyfriend acting out and laughing about how she had put one over in the police. The police, courts, amicus attorney, DA, judge have been placating her and believing everything she says. It is an 8 month nightmare at present. Actually longer than that…that’s just how long since he has seen his children. Custody court date comes up June 20, 2023. He has all kinds of evidence. She has none. We just want a day in court that the evidence can be heard! She has made numerous false accusations about me as well. She lies about everything to try to get her way. It is the craziest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Her parents did the exact thing to each other (stole the kids and ran off and cheated on each other, etc so I’m certain that is where her trauma entered). The sickest thing is that my Grands are in her care (when she is around) and her parent’s care. This evil is being learned and passed on to the next generation and it destroys my heart. Pray for the children: Elijah, Hazel & Harper. My son does not have the option of just walking away to save himself. The children need his help. 😢

It’s so exhausting trying to figure them out. The relationship goalposts are always changing and they rewrite the narrative and take a conversation and twist it to their advantage. It’s incredibly hard when you still care about them and worry if they are okay.😢

I don't think they don't remember the situation of someone leaving (abandoning) them. They/the codependent is so codependent, they just transfer feelings right on to someone else. Straight from one fast codependent relationship to another.

Good advice Dr. Ross. Just step away, 180, and leave them where they stand. I experienced 20 years married to an unknowingly (recently clinically diagnosed) Cluster B - BPD - Covert / Malignant NPD - and much much more. The most excruciatingly painful experience I have ever experienced…after being triangulated with both marriage therapist and her turning me into an option. Done. Gone. Two years now of isolation, healing, and rebuilding. Your book you mentioned was one of many great educational assets I obtained. Thank you 🙏 for your contributions to this subject matter. Have a great weekend.

@dyallall3331

Жыл бұрын

I know exactly how it feels...i live in it for 25 years of marriage...worse than how u knows it... I had to deal with incest with her too

@theindievlogs

Жыл бұрын

Wow 2 years and you’re still healing. 1 year in the healing phase and I think I’m stuck .

@cajuncrackerranch7990

Жыл бұрын

@@dyallall3331 same here. A few times coming home from work or in the dead of the night while I was asleep she was crying with a deep horrifying tone in the shower shaking fighting off the ghost crawling on her skin with vivid haunted memories of being molested from more than one family member and more than one community member. Of course she did not communicate any of this at the times I would hear this deep bellow moaning, sobbing, crying as I would check on her and asked what happened? What was going on! She would scream at me violently telling me to get away from her. It was a horrible experience as she was having memory flashbacks. I only found out when she had written a 20 page document from her earliest childhood memories leading up to a few weeks prior to our paths crossing, meeting, in a work environment which developed into a relationship gradually. Not once did I ever raise my hand or voice to harm or hurt her. One time I even walked into the shower with my dress pants, collared shirt and tie and just held her. I didn’t know what happened or what else to do but to hold her and let her know I was there. All this began approximately 8-10 years into our marriage. I’ve had one excruciatingly painful experience to be on the receiving side of the Cluster B - BPD - Covert / Malignant NPD and much more. It is a pain I would not wish upon anyone. I lost everything and in the most simplest of terms was just collateral damage. It took me 6 months to come to accept that it was all an illusion, that I had been living with a ghost of a shell of a shadow, and at the moment I looked at myself in the mirror the movie began to play on continuous loop in which the red flags began to appear at specific moments from the past. The human mind is absolutely amazing how it stores hidden treasures of knowledge tucked away in the neural traces. Once she split personalities I became the very demon which resides inside of her and I did nothing, no word, no action to receive such hate, anger, resentment as she left me for dead in the desert without food, water, transportation and immediately engaged in an “exclusive” relationship with another person within 48 hours as if I never existed. Then showboated the new person around town introducing him while implementing a smear campaign on me. No contact. Deafening silence is all that she will ever hear from me. She has tried to reach me directly, through family, through once mutual friends, but I never respond. Dead silence. The Narcissist and The Empath is a battle of the soul; armor up! Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️

@cajuncrackerranch7990

Жыл бұрын

@@theindievlogs yes. (Analogy) Very hard to land a plane ✈️ (all-in and invested with 4 children) when the other person is maliciously malevolent with willful ignorance destroying all navigational and communication equipment and instruments, decommissioning the engines, detonated the landing gear, set explosives to the fuel tanks, ripped the wings off, and pulled the emergency exit door creating such a vacuum that sucked out all components on the interior of the fuselage while shifting between slow motion to Mach 6. She destroyed everything and left me with nothing. Yet, as I sit here today in this moment to reply after 2 years of silence and peace…where there is nothing, there is everything. I have no room for hate in my heart; only love. All that love I respectfully have to her I now give it to myself. And in regard to the smear campaign…it was a complete failure. All who have met me and know me through my words and actions with genuine and authentic self did not believe her lies. I am grateful for this lesson, but I will never forget my truth. May God have mercy on her soul; I will not. May you find your sanctuary and peace on your journey. Thank you.

@dyallall3331

Жыл бұрын

@@theindievlogs dam this hurts....! This is almost the same...but my damages...i have 4 adult sons who turns to rum and dope...and she is in multiple adulterous relationship...,and just like that ...like i never exists too.. And is hiding out in Brooklyn And have never work a day to help her children....and all my sons takes her said to death...and has turn every single person against...even my childhood friends....these women r extremely satanic and evil... I believe they no exactly what they are doing.... And u will not believes how clever she is...and does not knows to read or write period...and the worse possible thing to have around her is money.....to the last cent...

Great advice , I planned my escape in secret , hired a lawyer, told my closest friends. I left my 30 year marriage while he was a work left no forwarding address and blocked all contacts. The hard part was making these arrangements in secret pretending I was happy and prepared to go into counselling with him. after I left he tried to reach me through extended family , failing that he then went on spread vicious lies . I didn’t engage , kept my silence and never looked back.

So EVERYONE that dates or married these people are supposed to runaway and not tell a soul about the abuse so they can continue in society and it become normal in society as it is becoming and society gets destroyed because we all ran scared and destroyed our kids future? 🤔 Nah! I told it all!

@christie883

4 ай бұрын

To top comment, WELL DONE, You are being the voice of reason here, because OF COURSE they must be EXPOSED! What kind of society can tolerate horrible abuse without the abuser having to face the consequences of their vile and many Times, Criminal behavior?! This will only allow it to continue! I also think that NOT telling the truth about the narcissist is very dangerous for the victims sense of self-esteem and recovery! Nope, CALL THEM OUT, but prepare before you do! 🙏🌺❤️

@EmpathicCharWithBounderies

4 ай бұрын

@@christie883 💯 agree! And it’s show the children who witnessed the relationship that the behavior is acceptable creating more narcissists and more victims…. Some will take the traits in as their own others will reject it; usually the scapegoat of every narcissistic household! We’ve got to call this out and never stop because it’s NOT right! We have to stream it loud, we will NOT take it anymore! We MUST! 😞❤️🙏🙌

Yeah they are dangerous but don't fear them because they are in more pain than you. Once you expose them, you just have to stand your ground! There's times when you need to pick your battles, that's not necessarily walking away but merrily a logical tactic in dealing with these delicate beings....My ex is so predictable, I hate to say it but it's boring and pathetic! They basically self implode, they undo themselves eventually, you can subtly help the process but you can't drive it, you must make them feel that they are the ones controlling you.

@ciaomamabella

Жыл бұрын

EXCELLENT and WISE. You’re just like me. We’ve figured it out and rose above it. I’m here right now.❤

@freespirit5234

Жыл бұрын

@@ciaomamabella Im happy for you Scott 😊

@TheVenomousBeetle

Жыл бұрын

That’s easy when they have no real material power over your life. Not so much otherwise.

@freespirit5234

Жыл бұрын

@@TheVenomousBeetle Yes they use material things as leverage and or relationships that are important to you. Once you let them have it all, you take power from them. And let them facilitate smear campaigns and tell lies to close family and friends, you will soon find out who the real ones are! 👌

@nickieglazer7065

Жыл бұрын

@@freespirit5234 My Nex calls his penis ‘Free Spirit’ He said it was because ‘Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I have no control over it.’ 4 years later, his other supply (of 5 years) jumped over his garden wall and introduced herself. 😂

Unless they already have another family on the side. Whether it be a woman with a child, or a woman with what they believe to be their child. Either way, there will be a smear campaign whether I say I want a divorce or they file for divorce. He already had me isolated from everyone including his friends, so there wasn't any unmasking to speak of really. He filed, when our youngest turned 18, like he said he would when I was 5 months pregnant with my son. I knew after 33 years he would hit me with everything he could and be as cruel as possible. He has yet to disappoint on that, as he holds up the divorce 5 yrs later. Breaking the trauma bond has been one of the hardest things I've had to do. Honestly, his cruel and unusual treatment has made it so much easier. Seeing him without his mask was the biggest catalyst in my healing. My 18 yr old son moved with me when my dad suddenly became ill with cancer and died in 21', so I guess we did just up and run. Now he whines about being alone...

@dvssayer5621

Жыл бұрын

Yes as they get old and sick they become quiet and dependent..no more screaming at me. I now believe my husband was one! He choked me once, early on, and I called the cops..he was so embarrassed ( church goers) that he never did anything like that again, but always shallow, unloving and unable to function as a husband! Hes got parkinsons now, and I'm a nurse so now its perfectly functional. He needs me, and his voice is soft now from parkinsons and I take care of him! We will make it to the end😑

@EmpathicCharWithBounderies

3 ай бұрын

I feel you on so many levels. 😞❤️🙏

I agree. I caused a major narcissistic injury to my husband by wanting to discuss an on-going issue we'd been having, which led to an argument, to my husband shoving me twice, to me leaving with our kids. My husband is now in therapy, and the kids and I are safely back in the house. However it all happened so fast, and it was scary. And I should have known it would happen because my husband used to threaten that he would "shut me up" if I didn't stop bringing up things we needed to talk about. He no longer yells, shouts nor threatens me verbally, but I will never forget that specific day when my husband's narcissism took over his mind and body.

@MrTiti

8 ай бұрын

only cause someone shovves you doesnt mean he is narcissistic. it can be, but what on earth is going on these days????

I truly believe that you can see Satan himself through the eyes of any narcissist.

Years after our 12-year marriage ended, I unmasked the ex during some damage control, where he played a major role in a very serious family situation. I THOUGHT I knew the man, but NEVER saw this level of hate coming from him, although it makes sense, now, that it came about because of the threat of exposing what he is. His smear campaign on me has been devastating, and has alienated two of our three grown sons from me. The biggest hurt comes from the fact that our sons could believe anything their father has said about me, and taking from me the right to voice the truth. This has shown me the frightening level to which he can resort to, to save himself, with no remorse for lying to his own children.

@ladyvirgo9514

11 ай бұрын

I'm in the beginning stage of a divorce after 12 years with a man I never knew. They are so manipulative. I wish you well

All this is new to me. You helped me tremendously. It's too soon to say specifics but you're right. Unmasking them (my parents and sibs) cannot be unmasked while i live with my mom. My dad has surgery soon and this is the last thing i need to do right now. Its going to be stressful this weekend. Really stressful. My coping tools: these video's because knowledge is power and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone. And my GoPro. All i can do is document everything. The lawyer wants he to wait till my bro commits an actual crime before he removes him from my dads power of attorney that is still alleged and likely not legal since my dad had just had a stroke when it was signed. So yea, this is where I'm at. 😂

My narc ex is still my colleague, and after I broke it off, she called and went on an emotional tirade in order to get me to quit my job. She said she could *not* continue psychologically with a broken relationship in a professional context. And why? Because that is exactly how her last relationship imploded, something I was only made privy to during her post-breakup meltdown. I stood my ground, but it was hard not to get emotional when trying to justify my decision to stay, which wouldn't be necessary when dealing with a well-adjusted individual. I said it will be embarrassing for both of us, but we need to remain civil in the workplace and get on with it. The director agreed. Now she is trying to leave, but she doesn't have many options (despite my efforts to help her get on a more stable path during the relationship, efforts which she refused). It appears now that she might have done some things that are more serious, and I am wondering what I might do if the information turns out to be correct. I warned her not to cause drama or conflict at work (and other social spaces, including the family and church), because I didn't want our interpersonal issues to cause damage in the community. She appears to have got the message, but I feel that I must prepare the nuclear option of unmasking her if she goes off the rails. It's not something I want to do, but perhaps in some situations it might be necessary to compel a narc individual to leave a particular community to prevent future harm. While I agree that unmasking is not a good option, there has to be some way to prevent other potential victims from getting sucked into the narc's orbit. Do you have any advice on an appropriate way to handle these individuals if unmasking is off the table? Thank you.

Thank you for articulating the realties of managing the situation of dealing with a narcissist…..I have found and experienced everything you say to be true……

This is an absolutely amazing video. The synopsis at the beginning is so critical to listen to if you are dealing with a person who is narcissistic. I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video. 😊

this applies for legal/court situations against them too!!! do not include details on the protective order application the narc gets a copy plus, you have to survive to make it to court to your vehicle afterwards then a safe haven take my word for it, tempting to blab but dont unless you are 100% confident that your order will not get denied

This is the worst advice you can possible take. Never run away. They do it because they know you will run most likely. They want you to fear them. Stand your ground... You are going to have your reputation smeared regardless. Running only confirms or dignifies their smearing or attacks on your character. Let me put it this way, would you let a child manipulate you and then run because you are scared of that manipulation by them? HELL NO. You stand your ground and maintain. These people are essentially grown people with a child like mentality.

@chrisderquy

Жыл бұрын

Are you suggesting that someone stay in a bad relationship?

@macnchessplz

11 ай бұрын

I agree with this to a point.Yes,you get smeared but some of their own actions are far worse than what they are smearing you over. As in- illegal and actions so over the top that most people will back away and distance from the person or people who launched the campaign….. However,they are so disordered and so void of realistic reason ,incapable of fair resolution for all parties (bc they want control ,their way NOT the best interests of all) that they are capable of acts any person with a modicum of conscience wouldn’t commit. At worst,homicide(IMO). Their own actions,misdeeds -it reveals their lack of character or rather a completely damaged one.That’s probably the only upside. I’ve been on the receiving end of smear. It’s been damaging,excessive and obsessive as they spend much of their time on it. However,they have done things that could land them in prison for awhile.I’m not doing a thing that would earn prison time…. I’ve stood my ground but it’s been very costly.I also mind my physical safety 24/7 bc of it.

@ClusterBusterClub

9 ай бұрын

Indeed. I'm not saying 'never run away', but just know that there are situations where it might be better to go for vengeance (no violence, everything within the law). Exposing them is done purely for oneself, as a form of closure that you can control. It has essentially nothing to do with them. Don't do it because you want to teach them a lesson, don't do it to warn and help other people, don't do it to secretly get them back in your life.

@mrdeshonline

2 ай бұрын

Exposing makes them powerless over you. Do it with confidence and a warning within the LAW and the religious institution they use as cover...

I cant even believe the advice is dont call them out! What horrid freaking people these are! So evil that no one can confront them? and no amount of psychotherapy will help them? So therefore the world must tip toe around the evil!!!??? I just bumped into one for two months, and by God's grace I RAN! I knew something wasn't right, and this was a nurse/patient relationship and NOT even romantic, altho he had no boundaries AT ALL with his wife right there! Ugh. I still feel traumatized even at just a two month encounter, and I cannot imagine the damage these poor people who've been married their whole life, and didn't even KNOW what they were dealing with! Oh my Lord! The trauma so many are living with. Even if they did escape 30 or 50 yrs later! I could've gone forever not knowing about these sickos!!! Evil demons living inside human bodies! I was missing my client and sort of wanting to go back and try again ( for the 3rd time!) But NO. I no longer miss him! Im just pissed and after THIS one video, now I see and I'm done! I've watched so many videos this last two weeks...but this guy here I just found...has convinced me finally. Wow oh wow...!!!! Come quickly Lord Jesus!!!!!

@emmarae4322

5 ай бұрын

They are dangerous. What don’t you understand? They won’t change, ever.🙄

Why do these soulmurderers dont get punishment?

@amb4855

Жыл бұрын

Same question I’m still looking to get answered.

@sirrantsalott

Жыл бұрын

They do. Go no contact if you can, gray rock if you can’t, and it’s the sweetest revenge. See 4:58

@Coconutshavebadhair

Жыл бұрын

@@sirrantsalott no i mean by law. It is sickening they get away with their abuse.

@MeenaMonjazeb-kn8dq

Жыл бұрын

Dr. Ramini talks about how our system doesn’t acknowledge but actually encourages that kind of behavior.

@eddelao2762

10 ай бұрын

Why don't these soul murders get punished? They do.. when you decide to go no contact

I'm glad that you brought up that there is allot of professional people that are narcissistic. Because we just went thru this with a school teacher. And she played the part so well of innocent Sweet loving teacher. Meanwhile her classroom was out of control. And I'm like ok something is not adding up here. Then i went an did an observation of my son's class. And i saw her for what she was. Cold, uncaring, unsympathetic. That you could tell she didn't even like kids! Needless to say, i pulled my son from her class. But the whole year was a nightmare and of course everything was my son's fault.

The difficulties most people have in understanding narcissistic and any other types of egoic personalities is due to the fact that ordinary people and psychologists alike, incorrectly assume that such personalities are abnormal - that they have mental aberrations of which they are not aware of and act without any kind of empathy because there is something “wrong” with them. What I have learned in my studies of mysticism and religion is that , in a nutshell, some people polarize on the positive side and some in the negative side - thus we have , as stellar examples, the Archangels and entities representing the light, and Satan and any demons representing the darkness - BOTH serve the Creator in their own way. Without a negative pole the battery will not produce any work/any motion. The same aspect of polarity applies to all aspects of the universe. My suggestion is: learn from all experiences and move on following the path which is suited to you. The Narcissist , (I do not like the term given the origin of the term) is an entity who follows the path of service to self and does not have feelings such as guilt, sorrow etc, simply because that is NOT the path he has chosen. I have been taught that such choices are made, based on the chosen path, before one enters the incarnation. Someone who has truly chosen the way of the light will have great difficulties in understanding the way of the darkness

Very enlightening. To know that they are driven by unconscious mechanisms is very helpful. It can give you some distance. Without knowing this, you think they could stop doing what they are doing if they only wanted to. They would need help stopping in my opinion. They’re too addicted to this way of being.

Whoops. I couldn't take it anymore and I felt so alone so I took to social media to ask friends and family for help. I am currently feeling a wrath that I didn't even know that she possessed. It is probably the scariest thing I've ever gone through in my life. It's like there was a demon underneath her, and now completely exposed.

there's always hope

They don’t need to be walking on the streets

As a child of a covert narcissistic mother everything you're saying it's not only accurate it's what I've experienced. Thank you for the information and validation.❤

@marylouleeman

8 ай бұрын

me too I only realized it when Dr. Phil recently talked about the covert narc. Suddenly my whole life with her became clear. She was exposed now and I no longer have to buy into her destructive ways.

@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih

6 ай бұрын

I agree. I'm an ACON of a NPD covert community / religious narcissistic mother. Anyone of us who spoke up out of us 4 siblings; got near disowned. Sadly together with my enabling father who she led a merry dance over. She even ; together with my Dad told my former GC brother:"ur no longer my son"! As he DARED to speak out!! Human monsters behind masks

Thank you. I am so sad as my boyfriend for the past 4 yrs is that covert narcissist. His mom left him at 9 leaving 3 kids for his Dad to raise. He had the worse abusive childhood and had to learn how to earn money as he grew up. He later found his mom and then she had already 2 other autistic kids by different men. He is a musician now but still busks in the streets. I have tried to give him my all, nurtured him yet got so much horrible cutting words and abusive from him. He cheated and went for a teen. Ghosted me 10 months and the bottom line was that he needed money. Am so broken up once again.💔

Thank you Dr, more as you talk from own experience and a great knowledge.💪😊💕

My major takeaway: " You are surrendering by not saying anything." WOW!

Observe don’t absorb, Thad is great advice , Thank you so much 😊❤️🇧🇪‼️ 3:05

Wow this video really helped ! 🔥

I unmask my narc mother….. massive mistake!

@mrdeshonline

2 ай бұрын

that should not be a mistake exposing an evil person

@TheDruzza

2 ай бұрын

@@mrdeshonline I know right, weird world we live in .

What if you have been set free by the narcissist for many years but they and their flying monkeys are still engaged in a smear campaign to stop me from exposing them and the things they have done, I can’t or don’t know how to move on unless I do so, would it still be dangerous in this situation?

@IseeWhy

Жыл бұрын

Did you even watch the video? 😅 You are free, let's keep it that way and forget the smear campaigns, block the flying monkeys and be yourself. Ignoring any false claims wil proof that you are pure and yourself.

Thanks so much for sharing this video!❤⚘ Learning with your channel!😊

Right! 👍 I always used "the worst case scenario"!

Unless you get them before they get you

Thankyou. Pulled me up in my tracks! I locked eyes with you at the end minutes of this vid and thought you're definitely warning me now to think, think think. I have to leave but use all my intelligence. I've been so hyped about throwing up my arms and just going. Putting myself in danger. Thankyou, sincerely.

I’m there! I want out so bad. Money is stopping me. No place to go.😭😭😭

@heatherwhatever7714

2 ай бұрын

I’m praying Kathy. 💙🌺

Dr Rosenberg, I hope you read your comments because I have a serious question. It may sound somewhat flippant but it’s not. It seems to me that narcissism has become contagious because there’s so much of it in both men and women. Am I correct that more people have become cruel or am I just imagining this? Because I sincerely don’t understand. I know we’re all living in highly stressful situations but it doesn’t help to be cruel to others. Could you please answer me? Are we seeing more narcissist behavior than we did even 5-10 years ago? Thank you

@steadypace1262

Жыл бұрын

I just want to say I agree with you about the increasing narcissism in society now. There have been a lot of changes in the world in a fairly short time which are not all for the good and this could account for the extra stress and anger we are now seeing out there. Domestic violence cases, criminal offences by adults and even children are increasing. Good morals are starting to be a thing of the past, scary really.🕊

@rod7177

Жыл бұрын

Narcissism is a personality disorder. I doubt there is an increase in the number of narcissists. More likely people who are not narcissists are behaving like narcissists as society becomes more and more unhinged.

@z32luvr

Жыл бұрын

It’s mostly a byproduct of social media and attention seeking behavior.

@sreed5633

Жыл бұрын

Too much self, no God. 2 Timothy 3:2-5.

@Vicki1951

Жыл бұрын

@@sreed5633 thank you. I opened my Bible read the scripture but I didn’t stop with 5. I kept reading through verse 7. I took a couple steps backwards to reflect on my thoughts/actions during my life. Now I’m reading the full book of 2Timothy again. There’s much valuable info in this short book.

Spot on. Thank you.

Absolutely tremendous, Thank you so much for this Ross, Another who sees 😃👁 And has tremendous understanding, I can discern, real from Fake compassion, Empathy and kindness , Thank you for shining a light on this, I can see through the mask and facade, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 👁😃🦄🌹⚖⚽🕊🦁💗💙💜💛🌈🌌💚😘✌☘♱👽🐎🍄🌲😊❤😇

His first wife told me she left because of abuse she wasn’t staying any longer to reap any benefits

Just realized you are actually quite hectic. very impressed by your happy motivation

Thank you for your work that brings us together like a loving family of survivors, to get comforted from one another and know that we're not alone. We have God and one another. God bless us all. Amen.

My covert narc ex has a history of criminally violent behavior. Why wouldn't I warn other people?

Just got done with your book…HMS. WOW!!! Thank you sir.

I’m dealing with a situation where I have a smear campaign against me, I’m stalked etc. I’ve set boundaries however I’m still being harassed by flying monkeys giving me death threats my neighbors listen to my conversations my family and friends have turned on me and I feel stuck Any suggestions please

@macnchessplz

11 ай бұрын

Hope some of the followers,flying monkies and such or at best people hearing it or seeing it but are just spectators-will begin to back away from the campaigners because they begin to see the insanity and pathology of it. Most people don’t want involved in illegal stalking,harassment,etc bc someone has an obsession or score to settle. I know it doesn’t sound like a solution but they are showing others who they are. People will eventually tire of it and back away….. If someone is so obsessed they are determined to stalk and enlist others to stalk as well…. It’s one of the only solutions you can hope eventually happens. If someone approached me and tried to enlist me to stalk someone? I’d instantly see them as a huge problem. It takes some ppl longer to come to that conclusion.

Female narcissist friend angry I went no contact with because one abuse occurred, followed me to where I worked. Would not leave and finally I spoke up and said anger she kept saying she had was a symptom of covert narcissism and needed help. She shove me at 71 yrs old and went flying backwards knowing I was not to fall on hip. Head hit cement. But God protected me minor injuries and filed report of abuse. I found out later history of physical abuse x 2 already . Bragged to get rich lawyer to reduce to misdemeanor which she did. Now had put numerous not good things about me on about 1000 people on Facebook. I had block but few others told me. You can tell much hatred there. She thought she would intimate me and not say anything like had been doing. I have learned much through your program. So nothing a surprise at this point. Thanks for truthful insights and yes to all signs of covert narcissist.

@heatherwhatever7714

2 ай бұрын

😔🕊️

My brother tried to kill me twice when I was a child. Now he's busy removing all trace of me from his life. My father changed his Will and left him everything because he was afraid my brother would "put him into a home."

6:23 No! That means they are narcissists not psychopaths, narcissists still have some little empathy in them contrary to psychopaths. Psychopathy is pure evil, however it's better to treat every narcissist as if they were a psychopath, because psychopaths are way way far more dangerous, they are lethal dangerous and very hard to discover or diagnose so it's better safe than sorry, better to be cautious!

@IseeWhy

Жыл бұрын

A narcissist doesn't have empathy, the difference between a narc and a psychopath is that a narc acts from child trauma as a way of self defense to protect the personality that never existed they can't feel the pain of others (emphasize). Psychopaths act to hurt others for self gain they understand the ability to feel the pain of others but instead feel nothing as if the world is there playground and you are part of it.

@Matt-602

11 ай бұрын

@@IseeWhy Who knows the "why"? I wonder how many people have been burned again by feeling sorry for them because they assumed subconsciously that a poor wittle childhood pain was an excuse for them to be assholes or no bitches again? I'll leave that up to a doctor or lobotomy technician--BECAUSE IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE!

@emmarae4322

5 ай бұрын

I heard malignant narcissists are actually more dangerous than psychopaths.

@empressafiya9022

3 ай бұрын

I think covert are more dangerous cause they're sneaky about it and can probably turn on you... you don't see it coming at all

Thanks for the advice...i will not expose him I will try to figure out...how i will run from this mess

❤ thank you

Thank goodness , I just thought of unmasked the malignant narcissist

You cannot run when you have children together. Now what?

Sad but true

Shocking, if you described my father. I understand a little better.

the sociopath wont see anything

I am codependent or as Ross says SLD. My mother is a covert narcissist. Most of the women I have fallen in love with have been narcissists.

@pebbles92able

9 ай бұрын

Try breaking that cycle. You deserve better.

@djignatin4043

9 ай бұрын

@@pebbles92able I have. I don't date anymore. Thanks for the advice.

How do you handle it if you can’t get away though? I can’t move out and I have two NPD parents, my dad is more of the out and about trump type while my mom is the more insidious “pretender” that hides until she explodes and shows her true colors.

If they don’t get shut down first

I didn't run 😂 She filed a Complaint of Harassmenting her in Police Station. I fought and won it like a Boss 😎 Why Should I run from that scumbag ?? I'm not a runner rather I'll face the Truth ❤

Over eight years he was abusive physically mentally emotional neglect financial two months he’s acting fairly good still name-calling stuff. He thinks everything is OK and it’s not.

So true... 🇬🇧👀🤔

oh they know it all

I am bpd and I believe in my childhood I was like npd but with good environment book and people I have learned and become bpd and with time as I know about this I changed myself and cycle so If npd get good environment they will cure. I believe what had happened to them or learn so they act .

So stop telling them anything the next dooers, no information about me in the same church you told me to run ok will do

Ples, ples ples ples gods,, save me protect me and my family allover from,accidents, falls skids injury,,,ples, ples ples all to pray for us ples secretly confidentially silently silently silently silently excesive silently peacefully peacefully ples few, months frwrds ples ples ples ples ples ples

2:08 codependent 7:46

How do you teach them a lesson so they think they can bully anyone thru want? Isn’t that not ok either?

@IseeWhy

Жыл бұрын

The response you hope on getting by learning this person "a lesson" wil not be the desired one. You wil damage the narcissist,validating there previous behavior. You wil act the same as the narcissist and be no better than them and last you wil still be investing in this person and thus giving them the energy they desire.

@Matt-602

11 ай бұрын

I'm here to cover my ass, and not to train people how to behave in society at my expense. I'll just let them be someone else's problem. I'm NOT GONNA feed their crazy furnace with fuel anymore!!

what if you have been out of the relationship for a few years and have full custody of child(ren)?

Tell me, what kind of life is it living with somebody that controls you?

I'm confused, I've got very severe PTSD, I'm also bpd and an empath. I'm nowhere near being anything like a narcsissist. I don't believe all those with narcsissistic traits are sociopaths either, it all depends on where they are on the spectrum.

@ioannafardella3717

5 ай бұрын

*bpd-empath..makes sense bcs who d call himself an empath..? *traits aren t a pd - a pd is mainly about personality s construct *he doesn t say npd are also aspd but that covert npd use aspd methods & they do, actually they re even worse bcs of their unique envie of others/combined w low self esteem

Is there any way that if they wanted to get help is there help out there? I am an idiot that just wants to be loved the way that I love and when I fall in love I fall deep it’s been 10 years and I’ve seen his good parts in the covert narcissism comes out when he’s messed up, but when he’s sober, a lot of it is not there but I don’t know if they realize that they do have a problem like a personality disorder is there hope for that one listen to me you can just tell him messed up and head. I need some therapy never mind

@DrPhilGoode

Жыл бұрын

The covert subtype of NPD doesn’t come and go. It is their personality and who they are at their core. You (he) may be dealing with something else other than NPD idk.

What happens if I already did? If I send him a message saying all after we were already separated? What could he do?

@mrdeshonline

2 ай бұрын

nothing, you have make him powerless because you can see through him

Triad

"and vice versa" , you mean narcissists can also fall in love with a codependent?

@stshnie

Жыл бұрын

I think the theory is that codependents are attracted to narcissists and narcs are attracted to codependent people. Not sure ‘falling in love’ has anything to do with it for a narc.

@chxwv

Жыл бұрын

@@stshnie I was just responding to what was said , that codependents fall in LOVE with narcissists and vice versa , I believe that’s what was said . I don’t think narcissists are capable of loving anyone including pets , they (pets) are also source of their supply .

Oh coverts will!

Psychopaths are triggered Narcissists... They are everywhere... Stay safe!!!

What if you tried to leave but she told the police you assaulted them

@paulacarlson7445

Жыл бұрын

Get cameras on everything. My son is dealing with this now. She will make up all kinds of lies. You must have video proof if you want to survive.