Frame is a very important concept with respect to relationships. It's a bit hard to define, but I consider frame to be the "world" of the relationship. Without realizing it, most men are in the woman's frame. In this episode, I explain what this looks like using an anonymized example from a recent consultation. The details may change, but the situation is one in which millions of men find themselves today. Fortunately, if you lose frame, it's possible to reclaim it. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzread.info/dash/bejne/iaaMpNyKYquqdbQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzread.info/dron/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #relationship

@davidosalsero2519

8 ай бұрын

Blimey! Good stuff frankly said. Could be entitled "Sort yourself out, Stand tall, Speak out". Thanks.

@NBnNC

8 ай бұрын

Could there be an ideal where two frames or two worlds are merged together? - like a compromise midpoint between his family/location and Indiana?

@lesterdiamonds27

8 ай бұрын

I don’t understand any other way to have a successful relationship than to do it with the frame of religion! Trying to have a secular relationship means inherently you’re in a woman’s frame. Because if God is not the grounding of one’s value system then the biological imperative is. That is reproduction, and women control that! They pick the men and will choose in provision ability of genetics. Within a religious frame women pick based upon their pleasing God. Whether you think religion is bs or not there’s no other way. You want proof? Measure relationship marriage outcomes between avg and orthodox couples. In addition, in a religious frame work all men no matter how poor or ugly are guaranteed a wife. There are no incels or single men in orthodox religions. just stop fighting religion it’s the only viable option!

@VooDooDaddy46

8 ай бұрын

@@lesterdiamonds27 in complete modesty, you are living in a fantasy land. God goes completely out the window when a woman meets a man she truly, physically desires. A woman will make all the rules for a Beta, and break EVERY rule for an a man she sees as an Alpha, religion be damned. There is no such thing as a good girl, at least not in this day and age. As a man, your best bet is to love God, and date women. Don't ever get married. Love God and love yourself. There is NO other way.

@lesterdiamonds27

8 ай бұрын

@@bastiano333 good values aren’t a guarantee! They need to tied into a community or beholden to religious parents. There may be some freelance Christian woman out there but everybody claims Christianity. They have to mean it and you need to see the proof: dress, virginity, career, social media presence, etc.

Never get into relationship with a women unless she is entering your frame. And, never let the relationship switch where she starts out in your frame but ultimately you end up in her frame. Being in the woman's frame nearly always leads to breakup/divorce.

@Yeahhoee

8 ай бұрын

So true, happening here right now

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Divorce laws favor women and women file 80% of divorces while marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows. "Mah framez!"

@garethmorgan3665

8 ай бұрын

I don't think you said frame enough.

@dahliafiend

8 ай бұрын

@@Yeahhoeeyeah happened to me.

@Yeahhoee

8 ай бұрын

@@dahliafiend problem is the child, otherwise it wouldn't be so bad

It can't be understated how many men don't ask themselves "what do I want for my life?" When this isn't top of mind, it's so easy for women to move into your life and attempt to decide that for you.

@Emma-ud2pj

8 ай бұрын

vegetable life. so sad

@hunterspeak4370

8 ай бұрын

the bigger the freedom, the more imagined/real options people have. together w/ a neoliberal system that's all about work and technology toasting our brains more and more, the overwhelmedness by many people to sort out their realistic options, decide with conviction and find the courage to follow through on those decisions, seems understandable

@peirithoosian

8 ай бұрын

Well, I mean...especially if what you're looking for is a mommy to cut your crusts and tie your shoes, rather than a partner who can achieve & thrive *either* in cooperation *or* in mutually admired but not necessarily intersecting parallel passions/drives/causes. Sympathetic autonomy of life goals is probably the most durable kind of relationship, as it's founded primarily on an abiding respect of the other person's choices BEFORE you met.

@Emma-ud2pj

8 ай бұрын

if he is vegetable minded and waiting to be taken, i would argue he has a feminine waist and his life purpose is to make easy money for Orion@@hunterspeak4370

@verb0ze

7 ай бұрын

One of the most powerful exercises I've done to date is map out my life trajectory. Actually, I owe credit to my dad for that one. He's done it for himself when he was a kid, and I think when I and my siblings were teens, he's actually made us do it. And he asked us again when we got a bit older. Now, it's become a routine for me, every so often I consult the master plan and check if I'm on track / readjust as needed.

I completely agree with this. #1 Create the life you want #2 Live according to your values #3 Build SMV (if a man wants to date/marry) #4 Gather options #5 Attract and never chase #6 Negotiate the best offer FOR YOU and walk away from anything less than what you want and have worked for

@joygibbons5482

8 ай бұрын

As a woman I agree. That’s what I’ve done and it’s working great

@sean_740

7 ай бұрын

Beat me to it, but confirms what I was thinking

@LajanaeSmith

7 ай бұрын

What is SMV?

@brandonmontgomery7461

7 ай бұрын

​@@LajanaeSmith Sexual Market Value, it's someone appeal score/ranking in the dating market

@brandonmontgomery7461

7 ай бұрын

​@@sean_740 like minds

And fellas remember, being in a solid socio-economic position for yourself, makes staying within masculine frame much easier. You want to be able to have as much leverage as possible to reduce the number of compromises you have to make. The less leverage you have, the more tempting it’s going to be to operate within her frame.💯

@darkskinwhite

8 ай бұрын

yeah that's true. I made a few mistakes & ended up in a somewhat compromised position that I am not able to escape at the moment because I use my girls car everyday (mine is parked with bad plates) & because of that I havent even had the conversation that I need to have about moving forward. time to get my money up lol.

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and women file 80% of divorces. What percentage didn't keep frame? Orion is just like traditional women benefiting from feminist laws and not lobbying for change making them defacto feminists: namely, controlled opposition.

@Khan-rz8qi

8 ай бұрын

@@forgottenfuryan You don’t have to be married to be dealing with women bro. Women are always gonna be part of our lives whether we like it or not.

@croissants1280

8 ай бұрын

​@@forgottenfuryanCan you explain that in a more understandable way?

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

@@Khan-rz8qi 60% of mothers are single mothers and they raise 80% of inmates and 85% of children with behavioral disorders. Traditional women benefit from feminist laws and don't lobby for change making them defacto feminists, undoing natural masculine authority inherent to most sexually dysmorphic species.

If she is really into you, she will enter your frame. Stay strong.

@keithmoriyama5421

8 ай бұрын

Only true because money allows her to still get everything she wants. It's not a hard choice between conning him into buy you a Ford instead of him offering you a Lambo.

@mbg9650

8 ай бұрын

GBD can be a good indicator.

@marriagecausesdivorce7540

8 ай бұрын

I think this is the heart of the issue. She doesn't really like the guy himself. She just likes what the guy can provide, e.g. kids, child support, alimony, 50% of the assets, etc.

@juanpaz5124

8 ай бұрын

Yes, but you have to make sure she does. Remember, women do not know what they want.

@max_rove

8 ай бұрын

You have to be a strong enough man to hold the frame for her though. No one wants to get on a sinking ship.

I lost a great girl because I didn't understand this concept. It wasn't her fault. She probably didn't even understand why she was losing attraction for me. I'm only comforted by the fact that I know better now. You must have an iron frame. If you don't you're in for a bad time.

@mongolloyd

8 ай бұрын

Same here bro. Live n learn hey

@TheForgotten__1

7 ай бұрын

Great truth brother and all men (especially when young) have been in this situation without realising it 👊 as the other fella says, live and learn 🤙

@poopmaster1911

6 ай бұрын

Ah yes, it was your fault for being unshakable like a terminator

@ivbolt

6 ай бұрын

It was not your fault for women being anything but decent human beings and their self-destructive nature. Stop gaslighting yourself because women lack in empathy and interest towards men.

It’s Orion’s world, we’re just livin it it

@stefanmolejo4578

8 ай бұрын

*PLANET HULK*

@TheOutlierToday

8 ай бұрын

Speak for yourself

@th4fl4sh4

8 ай бұрын

Living in Orion's frame it seems

@maurisagubler3230

8 ай бұрын

Without having spoken to the women, we will only know the mans perspectives based on his limited life experience.. Emotional awareness tells us all, that there’s more to this story than what’s being portrayed.

He’s 30 dating a 36 yr old and admitted to needing to get his life together. I pray all of our men get into their masculine frame. We desperately need it

@user-pp9bl5gr1n

6 ай бұрын

She’s 36 and he’s 30 that say a lot about her…..seem like men her age she don’t want her so she try to control a younger guy

@danielroman6473

3 ай бұрын

Good luck. Society has neutered most men. The ones who do figure it out are married or playing the field

@KeyaCares

2 ай бұрын

@@user-pp9bl5gr1n is it not odd that this man wants to date someone older than him? He has a say so on this too you know

@dgarza-jw9fg

Ай бұрын

He can still have newborns at 50, he has plenty of time to get his frame together, can't say the same for her tho. Those hurry up manipulative tactics are the foundation of an upcoming divorce.

@KeyaCares

Ай бұрын

@@danielroman6473 I pray more men lean I to their masculine frame. I believe in them

The same can be said about accepting the friend zone. You approach a woman for a relationship, and she offers friendship. You go thinking, " Maybe I can be her friend," as if it was your original thought. Ask yourself if friendship was why you approached the woman in the first place.

@Transfixion

8 ай бұрын

Excellent point.

@kwekubrewammuako-annan862

8 ай бұрын

You got that right

@hansomekim1219

8 ай бұрын

Friendship IS why I approach most women in the first place. Is it not for you guys?

@sean_740

7 ай бұрын

My way or the highway

@Gundice_the_cryomancer

7 ай бұрын

@hansomekim1219 if friendship is why you approach most women, it's not a problem at all. You can't be friendzoned if friendship is what you also want.

I feel really feminine when the guy leads. The leadership introduces me to things I would never do on my own because I am either too scared, risk averse, insecure or all of the things. Life becomes more expansive.

@c.s1393

Ай бұрын

Can you give an example of the things it leads you to?

"Men thrive when they're in their frame" so well put

@user-vr6mn2pf3i

7 ай бұрын

So do women... 😉

@troobix_s

25 күн бұрын

@@user-vr6mn2pf3i No, not necessarily. Woman can join a man's frame and thrive within it (it's very natural). A man can do this too, but in a long run, that's a woman who will be unhapppy about it, because her man is not manly enough to have his own frame. Women divorce and separate much more than men, when they got leverage.

@user-vr6mn2pf3i

20 күн бұрын

@@troobix_s you misunderstood, rightfully so. I meant women thrive in a man's frame just like men thrive in their own frame. in short, both men and women thrive in a man's frame.

@troobix_s

20 күн бұрын

@@user-vr6mn2pf3i Oh, yes, I misunderstood. Sorry, thanks for explanation.

"Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that you are." ― Iron Rule of Tomassi #1

@x_MrYAYA_x

8 ай бұрын

Great saying. Thanks for posting

@IFYOUWANTITGOGETIT

8 ай бұрын

Pretty sure Robert Green talks about this and his 48 laws of power as well

@maxr1969

8 ай бұрын

"resist giving the impression that you are" This part is crucial.

@mbg9650

8 ай бұрын

Not the #1 rule for nothing.

@Jason.Goldstriker

8 ай бұрын

Ohh yeah bro she should totally date a guy that has dark triad personality traits because I really think they will enjoy your 48 laws of power manipulation tactics. You guys are 🐱 just be honest. Women like men that are dominant and if shes not down she will go. Like bro, how is she supposed to not know im “controlling the frame” wen she has a fuckin dog collar on?

This is golden advice. Ignore it at your peril.

@valdius85

8 ай бұрын

I agree as well. There is just so much details in life he skipped.

@mrsimo7144

8 ай бұрын

Try finding a doctor that will stop you in your tracks, to tell you exactly how it is. Thanks Dr T. ❤

In my experience women tend to respect men who have frame and do not put women on a pedestal

I was in a relationship a year ago, she was the most femenine and most beautiful woman I ever dated. I remember when we wanted to move together, I would move in with her. In her apartment. At that time I left my family business (not because of her), and I had difficulties finding a job or a carrer path. It frustrated her and confronted me with this, but now when I look back, I realized that in that confortation I was trying to please her, and align myself with her, her frame. I had this "plan" for a carrer, for moving in with her and live her life, not mine. And then she broke up with me, and this "plan" I had? Went to sh*t. Looking back I get why she broke up with me, she didn't felt safe with me, that I was unstable. I didn't know what to do with myself at that time. But I knew one thing after a few days.. A few days after she broke up with me, I swore to myself that I would NEVER live my life by the rules of another woman. I would build my own lifestyle, I would become a uniqe masculine and independent man, the kind of man whos life is a beautiful journey, full of lessons and overcoming hardships. I live in my own world, my own rules, by my own values. And that by itself would bring the next woman into my life. And that woman would be different for the better. After a few months, I learned that it's called: Frame. And then I learned how truly important it is to develop my frame. Thank you.

@marciasloan534

2 ай бұрын

Way to learn !

@junetaylor8396

22 күн бұрын

So now you're an Incel?

@jessiemarmolejos

7 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing that!

I love this so much! Thank you for bringing clarity to why many women find themselves turned off. Dating a man who has his own life is so crucial. When he’s trying to follow me and my hobbies or friends.. and asking me to guide his life I get so turned off. Establish yourself and the women can accept or reject it. Don’t puppy dog your way into her life trying to be what she wants

@ivbolt

6 ай бұрын

Lol, it's so funny how you women tell on yourself. If a man has his own life, he then accepts or rejects you, it's not the other way around. You modern women really think you're the center of a man's universe.

Here's a piece of advice. Its much, much easier for women in their early 20s to fit into your frame. When women get to 30 and are still single they either come with a ton of emotional baggage from relationships that didn't work out and/or their standards are so high that they're too rigid. Either way there will be too much friction trying to get a woman 30+ into your frame, so much so that its just not worth it. Also, and this is something very few women will admit, but women are happier when they fit into a man's frame. They don't like to lead in a relationship, it causes them too much anxiety and stress...

@rob21

8 ай бұрын

Not to mention that if this man was such a pushover, she'd lose respect for him, and most likely sex would be affected (after the kids). A story as old as time.

@Chad_Max

8 ай бұрын

@@rob21100%. Female psychology can be distilled down into one single concept - a woman must constantly believe that you're the best man that she can get. As long as she believes that then she will feel happy and secure in the relationship. But if she believes, consciously or subconsciously, that she can do better then she'll become restless and you'll never get peace (she also won't orgasm or have a very difficult time climaxing). Even worse, unless she's self actualized which most women aren't, she won't understand why she's feeling the way she does which will make her even more anxious and neurotic and her behavior will reflect that...

@sallysmith3885

8 ай бұрын

Very true!

@evenesteven

8 ай бұрын

True. I had a friends gf tell me single women beyond 30 are too complex to handle... generally.

@davidosalsero2519

8 ай бұрын

Good words, all meaningful.

I had to make this decision with a combative wife. While I wanted my family, I knew I didn't want to live my life miserably with a terrible Wife who was never happy and would eventually cheat/leave anyway. I initiated the divorce and while I had to go through a lot of post-divorce drama including multiple legal battles to maintain and defend my parenting time, I don't regret my decision at all.

My last relationship ended because I became aware of this. Man that was never going to work

@johto

24 күн бұрын

Yeah, i found my self dating a crazy BPD / Narc gf 5 years on then 5 off. She then came back, i thought maybe she'd shanged. Lasted 1 year, kept my frame and was watching her words vs actions. Kept the frame and told my needs. Results, just stress. Only solution: Bye Felicia!

As a woman myself, this woman enraged me 😂 Also love how personal you got 😂😂😂 'single fu*k' 😂

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Humans are a sexually dysmorphic species but divorce and workplace laws favor women so men cannot maintain frame in relationships thus women filing for 80% of divorces and marriage, sex and childbirth rates being at all time lows. This guy is a century late.

I was a Catholic priest for thirteen years and a diocesan spiritual director. This channel is solid advice for all walks of life.

@emmanuelcodjia8422

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for giving à spiritual feedback, as it is difficult for us believers to have the kind of advice he provides in the church

@javier.alvarez764

6 ай бұрын

My aunt is a catholic nun. I heard it is common for nuns that are already 20 to 25 years in the covenant to have a change of her. That is just life people change and mature.

@anthonyanyanwu6303

5 ай бұрын

Oh really, interesting. I would really like to know why you gave up a religious life, to start a family...

@MitsurugiR

5 ай бұрын

@@anthonyanyanwu6303 priests don’t usually lead a celibate life, you’re thinking of monks.

@anthonyanyanwu6303

5 ай бұрын

@@MitsurugiR They do or at least they are supposed to. I am cradle Catholic, and I know that Catholic priests take a vow of chastity, obedience and poverty.

My good friend asked me that question when I confided issues to him.. "What do YOU want?” was the question my friend posed and signaled a turning point in my perception that cannot be undone. He was like my Morpheus.

I was dating this girl. I got pressured by her to make it "official." I thought I was seeing the world from a new perspective, but in reality, I was letting her change who I was. I was living in her frame. She was always telling me stories about work and what not trying to invite me in her world of drama. I felt stuck. Eventually, she dumped me because I wasn't allotting us enough time together. Honestly, I'm grateful for the experience because now I know that as a man, I need to be the leader. That was my first real relationship, so now I know exactly how to approach my next one. Thanks for the video!!

@jjbuzz9230

7 ай бұрын

I get what you mean by "official" as making it public so everyone knows, I think that's pretty common? How are you letting that change your identity? Unless you mean you didn't want to date her seriously but she is forcing you to and then you compromised. I think it's a process of getting to know yourself, what kind of person you want to be with, how much time you have for dating, etc. don't put too much pressure on yourself to lead, as long as you know what you want and communicate to others,(they need to respect that) you can try to understand others perspective, but in the end intelligent people will respect your decision and not try to pressure you to change you, 'cause your true wants and needs will resurface again.

@bryantboston827

7 ай бұрын

@jjbuzz9230 Sorry I didn't convey that well. What I meant by changing my identity is that our values and beliefs were a little too different, but I just overlooked that. But yeah, I didn't wanna take her seriously, and I compromised. You're 100% right.

My ex wife, divorced... New girlfriend, my boat my journey she's welcome to come along for it until I or her no longer want to share the journey. Men, never let a woman drag you onto her boat and take you her way, she will never respect or treat you properly and likely they will cheat. You are the captain of the boat, lead the way

As society becomes more and more polygynous due to unleashed hypergamy this will only become more common unfortunately. Guys (and clued up girls) try to save your male friends and family. Most men go into a relationship on the back foot and need to know how vulnerable they are.

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows because divorce and employment laws favor women so men cannot maintain frame except by self deception explaining why women file 80% of divorces.

I need to listen to this every day for the next six months. Figuring out what you want is not just a relationship thing, it's a life thing. What I actually want from a woman is a decision I still need to make, but more to the point, I think men can easily fall into a lifestyle, because bills need to be paid and a man does what needs done and now we are what we are, all without ever realizing there was a choice. Is this all I am, all I'm ever going to be? Am I better than this? Am I something else entirely? What would I do and who would I be if I could decide for myself?

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Humans are a sexually dysmorphic species and women file 80% of divorces because divorce laws favor them. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows because women have power over men and thus men cannot fully maintain frame except by self deception.

@Raymond7779

8 ай бұрын

I also recommend the videos from Rollo Tomossi (Rational Male) and Rich Cooper (Entrepreneurs in Cars). There's a lot of content out there to get "nice guy" men (like I used to be) to become solid men (going about their purpose in life, and allowing women to enter their frame).

@TV-oc4ml

8 ай бұрын

@@Raymond7779you still are a nice guy

@mann8098

8 ай бұрын

Those are the important questions. Hopefully we'll we have the courage to take the actions necessary to arrive at the answers. We are definitely more and may we live accordingly.

I agree with these comments!!! I spent 20 years with a woman that told me I had to marry her, or we were broken up. I married her after 2 years of dating. We had kids, bought houses.. etc.. All I could ever do was never enough. I broke down one day and told her that I was sad- I was answered very quickly with “if you are not happy with me, we should get a divorce!” It took 3 years to get her to accept my offer of divorce… which was very bleak for her. My credit score is going UP! I have bought 2 cars that I couldn’t afford before now! I also have moments of a positive self esteem. A good strong woman will build her man, and enter his frame!

This channel is a breath of fresh air. I’ve been going through video after video, for 2 hours already. It’s nice to hear some common sense for a change!!! All the love man!

It's true. I've been living in my wife's FRAME. I'm the provider, I do everything. Paid the bills, cooking, cleaning. When I got sick - which I still am - I asked for help. It's been 4 years, I'm getting no help, life is the same and I do everything. Sometimes, I pray for death, but I know my boys, who are in elementary, still need me. That's how men are, we build and provide. We don't want to start over, we don't want to deal with emotional issues. Sometimes, it seems, in my life, nothing I do is enough. I think the most important decision a man can make, is who they choose as their mate.

@TheForgotten__1

7 ай бұрын

You are trapped by the love you have for your children which is understandable. However, at some point the worm must turn not just for your sake but for theirs. You are their blueprint so you have to dig deep and find the courage to lead the relationship/family unit. If your partner doesn't follow, then not only are you condemning yourself to a future of servitude to your wife you're also setting the blueprint for your children too. The change doesn't have to be confrontational or explosive just clearly thought out and firm. Avoid ultimatums but make it clear things have to change otherwise the end of the line is in sight. She may call your bluff and you'll have to follow through for any respect left to come your way. This course of action will mentally free you regardless of outcome. Stay together and she starts pulling her weight with new found respect or she fucks off and know deep down your better off without her. Btw it's amazing how many times women fuck off out of foolish pride then come crawling back after you've shown backbone by showing them the door! Good luck 🤞

@jjbuzz9230

7 ай бұрын

I think communication is very important. Maybe you can let her know how you feel, be honest and courageous, some people don't have the ability to think in other people shoes then you have to hammer it to them, maybe try to take a third person's view and explain to her your current situation. I find communicating in our own perspective is very difficult for a stubborn, uncaring person to understand

@user-pp9bl5gr1n

6 ай бұрын

I pray it get better brother but let’s be honest you created this monster and allowed this…… 1. How can a man paying all the bills, have to clean (all the time) and do everything? 2. Us men need to be more stern and learn to say no and be in our frame…..sound like your relationship was about pleasing her 3. Us me do build and provide and we must either find a women who is grateful or TRAIN our women to be grateful

@ButtsMcCracken

4 ай бұрын

Praying for you, brother.

Every man should watch this before he watches dating. Solid advice.

Had to learn this the hard way, just got out of my first longterm relationship. We met at 23 years old and I didn’t have any path/goal I was working towards in life I was just taking it day by days and going with whatever she wanted the majority of the time. She convinced me to let her move in after 9 months of dating and needless to say the relationship became very toxic and she ended up leaving. I don’t fully blame her even though she had a lot of trauma she wasn’t willing to work on. I have to take responsibility for having no “FRAME” as a man and I was essentially playing the woman’s role in the relationship. You live and you learn. Luckily still fairly young at 25 and will make sure I develop a solid frame for my life and what I truly want from a partner before the next relationship. Great video!

The content provided on this channel is top notch, but this video is by far the best I have seen yet. Thank you. Can confirm this from my own experience. She'll walk all over you if you let her and lose all respect for you in the process.

@marriagecausesdivorce7540

8 ай бұрын

Completely agree. It would be great if Dr Orion does more of these case study type videos. This case study was great.

@geovani_marketing

8 ай бұрын

Bro you need to read old PUA blogs. This concept of FRAME is cornerstone from when you approach a woman, when you get in relationship with a woman and when you married with a woman.

@kwekubrewammuako-annan862

8 ай бұрын

@@geovani_marketing Any recommendations?

I guarantee that if this guy moved to Indiana and did exactly what this woman wanted, she would NOT respect him for it. Also, you are so right in that she probably thinks SHE is doing this guy a favor by giving him an opportunity to enter HER frame. I'm SO done with relationships.

@valdius85

8 ай бұрын

Moving is not the problem. What he did after that is a problem.

@max_rove

8 ай бұрын

Why are you "SO done with relationships"? Just because a woman wants something, doesn't mean you have to say yes. You can say NO. That will actually increase her respect for you. Men just don't know how to hold frame, and say NO. Say NO.

@JaySmith-pv2mw

8 ай бұрын

Because I'm not enough for anybody. @@max_rove

The way your articulate concepts is second to none. Very impressive!

I am a massive romantic, I wanted to get married since i was like four haha but i always sensed that part of loving was being masculine and bad ass and finding a girl that looks upto you. Not finding the nearest women and blindly attempting to make her "happy".

@javier.alvarez764

6 ай бұрын

Men are romantic, women are opportunistic.

True, you can't live in someone else's frame and maintain a healthy sense of self. It takes time and commitment to yourself and your significant other to make a new frame together that enriches who each of you are.

So this video covers: Developing boundaries, Expectations/Standards, developing an image of life direction. I believe whoever provides more deserves more control over decisions in the relationship but there should always be a sense of genuine mutual agreement with at most a little compromise from both parties. The people in the relationship should have a 'north star' of the life they want and quickly find out if they align with each other. it saves the 'frame' struggle if both parties find themselves to be in agreement more often. In the event the person you're with has a strong sense of life direction, either make sure they align with yours or end the relationship If they don’t have the above, just provide to the level that they trust your leadership and show your partner where you want to go.

I was struggling in similar situation for a year, and didn't even realise that I never wanted a relationship until I came across your video. I need not Sacrifice my comfort and my time just to prove that I care. Such a relief. Thank you for uploading.

@zuibeckpulezon4626

8 ай бұрын

Every female wants a relationship...the guy is just low value. The problem is not relationship the problem is YOU DONT RESPECT HIM.

@zuibeckpulezon4626

8 ай бұрын

That's why men should NEVER ASK A WOMAN FOR A RELATIONSHIP...THE WOMAN MUST ALWAYS ALWAYS ASK.

@aryabarve9066

8 ай бұрын

@@zuibeckpulezon4626 Priorities changes with time. Love never dies . I chose good memories over suffocation as I don't seem to fit in his frame .

@zuibeckpulezon4626

8 ай бұрын

@aryabarve9066 u call it suffocation? He loves u. But u will learn ur lesson. Don't complain when u meet a man that is emotionally unavailable and doesn't care. Then u start asking "where have all the good men gone"?

@danielroman6473

3 ай бұрын

​@@aryabarve9066if your principles, beliefs, and core values didn't align. Then i agree with you leaving. Being in a man's frame is not a bad thing. But it is terrible for a man to be in the womans frame

The funny thing about this is that this woman is desperate, she's approaching the end of her reproductive cycle and this is the only man with whom she can realistically get what she wants. He has much more negotiation power than she does. And even with all the cards favouring him, he was still being dragged into her demands.

@Ideophagous

8 ай бұрын

I bet she's doing this simultaneously with other men. He's probably just one of her best options.

@zuibeckpulezon4626

8 ай бұрын

It's not funny IT IS THE NORM...woman are so GOOD at manipulation that they bring NOTHING to the table but still manage to be IN CHARGE...most dudes are just CLUELESS

@zuibeckpulezon4626

8 ай бұрын

You always hear simp husband's say...HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE, MY WIFE IS IN CHARGE, LET ME ASK MY WIFE...you never hear it the other way around

Psy.D. You nailed this one. Her frame is stronger then his. Simple as that. If he wants to keep his frame he must let her go. Loving is unconditionaly giving... right? 🖖

@guytr8124

8 ай бұрын

No. I don't think so. Romantic love is transactional.

Dude ya spitting straight gospel on this one and you've honestly reinvigorated my outlook on life. You're hands down one of the best shrinks on here (that I've found).. keep up the good work and much love from Australia 🤙

Basically, think of a picture frame with a painting in it. Is the painting how YOU want it or is the painting how SHE wants it? Always be in YOUR frame, always!

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Humans are a sexually dysmorphic species and women file 80% of divorces. Make it make sense. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows and half of women in every generation after boomers are childless, rightfully.

Thanks man your value is incredible I hope you write a book cause I need this wisdom on pages

@psychacks

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for the love, Chris. I'm working on it

@sallysmith3885

8 ай бұрын

Until Dr Taraban writes a book, read Rollo Tomassi's book The Rational Male.

That’s why is crucial to make sure the both of of you are are in alignment on your values and personal ethos. So neither have to abandon significant underpinnings of their own ideals to make it work. Requires some deep thought and awareness, sometimes clarity occurs a little later in life.

@commentarytalk1446

8 ай бұрын

I completely agree with these areas being the priority for establishing a long-term relationship that can grow positively for both.

This is your BEST VIDEO, hands down, Doctor O!! Salute!

Indeed. A woman may use SIGN language on you when you make your frame known. Know that you are not being selfish but communicating your expectations while leaving some room for compromise. Protecting and providing is a huge responsibility so you deserve getting what you want in exchange 🤓

Dude, I can't tell you how helpful listening to your channel has been the last 4 days. Again, the perspective has been great. Listening to you made me realize I need to fire and replace my own therapist, she has literally not been helpful at all. Anyways, cheers mate.

Anyone feels like relationship is too much work nowadays? Constant "frame", "boundaries", "asset guarding", "game", "look-maxing"... All that work, in return for... what exactly?

@garethmorgan3665

8 ай бұрын

Building and maintaining a relationship is hard work sometimes( everything in life worth having is ) but not because of the things you mentioned most of which are non words that don't actually mean anything to people who don't spend inordinate amounts of time on the Internet.

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Divorce and family law as well as Affirmative Action, favor women so men maintain frame only within feminine power on a societal level. This is why women file 80% of divorces and marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows. This guy can only help the lowest common denominator.

@cosmicprison9819

8 ай бұрын

Isn’t it fun how the cycle of life and evolution accidentally disproves its own supposed value? 😁

@dr.winstonsmith

8 ай бұрын

@@forgottenfuryanFeminine power is also in the police force and pretty much any authority structure will favor women. Best to leave the West and get some balance.

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

@@dr.winstonsmith It's super obvious why no one with z platform talks about this. Follow the money. This guy and those like him can only help the lowest common denominator, the rest he leaves in the dark intentionally.

Loved it when I saw the topic of this short talk. Most conflicts for control that women wage in some way shape or form is really a battle between whence frame will bear true and be the perspective in which the relationship is transacted. Well done Orion.

Orion, I love how you summarize this situation perfectly! I'm a big fan of all your content-keep up the great (and entertaining) work!

If only I listened to this 10 years ago, general rule, If she’s making her problem your problem, that’s a huge red flag 🚩 Also, she can move in with you, but I’d advise from ever moving in with her, nothing good can come, and she’ll feel like she’s taking you in and resent you for it.

This is probably the best and most important video you've ever done. Thanks!

Man this is another outstanding video. Dr.T. Super grateful you've entered this space man

This makes so much sense! I'm currently going through a divorce after 16 years of marriage and this is at the heart of why we are divorcing: she always wanted things her way. And as this was my first and only serious relationship, I had no clue about frame or anything. Also, when I met her we were both very religious and as I was already in the ministry full time, I truly believed that my life was not my own and that my goal was to be a servant to Christ and others, starting with my family. I was taught that leaders are servants first, and that making my own decisions without praying for God's will was living "in the flesh". So just the idea that I can think about what I want to do and do it, I would have considered it sinful. It was such a mind fuck. I really enjoy your videos because it's teaching many things which I simply never new. Thanks so much!

@keylanoslokj1806

8 ай бұрын

Women have also a fallen, beastly nature like we do. They are not gods. So you can't be too idealistic with them.. they have animalistic needs like hypergamy, hybristophilia, need for male leadership, challenging your authority from time to time etc

@marcoemiliovalle7708

8 ай бұрын

Very similar story, brother. Divorced after 12 years and 2 children. The “Church,” is currently the biggest purveyor of blue pills out there. They only ever emphasize “Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the Church,” I.e. sacrificially. Totally ignore and disparage “Wives, submit to your husband because he is your head, as Christ is Head of the Church.” The Whole Truth was there in PLAIN SIGHT in Ephesians ch. 5. all along. “Let God be true and every man a liar.” 🤦🏻‍♂️ Be encouraged: yes, we were misled, but “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Now you are entering a new season of discovery. Godspeed.

@luk1010

8 ай бұрын

So what is your mindset now, I'm a Christian too and wanna know how you take this in that context

@keylanoslokj1806

8 ай бұрын

@@luk1010 issue is most women irrespective of the doctrine they claim to belong to, still have female nature. And appreciate masculinity, leadership, putting her in her place etc. But all most flow very naturally and happen lovingly not opressing. If it's a facade or an insecurity women will see through it like a castle with glass walls. So you gotta learn how to be a man in a few words.

@jjbuzz9230

7 ай бұрын

I'm not christian so I can't really understand, serving god = marry any woman that wants you to? Are you sure this is what the script tells you to? I have a different belief but generally consider christians, buddhist, taoists to be reasonable, however I do think the ancients scripts are hard to understand

Back in the day, a woman I started dating kept telling me to go out with her to fancy restaurants, and I was young and dumb, and so I went along with it. After several dates outside in expensive restaurants which she chose, I finally told her “Let’s meet up in my place”, and she said “let’s go out again”. I told her “goodbye” and met up with another girl at my place that same night. And from that day on I have never gone out on a fancy date with any woman prior to sex. Later on, if they get on my program, I gladly take them out to fancy places, they earned it.

@jcnlaw

8 ай бұрын

What you described happens all the time. In my experience, if she is really into you, she will not care about going out to fancy restaurants.

@josephkelly6681

8 ай бұрын

Same. Except the women was telling me men are toxic while she ate the lobster i bought her. Insane.

@SmoothCode

8 ай бұрын

So they prostituted themselves for lobster? Got it - no wonder I look down on my own kind.

@cevanille1104

8 ай бұрын

But none of these women "that earned it" you respected and will build an actual relationship with to have a family. You treat them like props in your life.

@michelstronguin6974

8 ай бұрын

@@cevanille1104Respect? You do know that women are the ones who Really need to respect their men so that a good marriage can happen, and men are the ones who Really need to love their women so that a good marriage can happen. Having said that, if a woman I’m with behaves like a woman - submissive, respectful and generous with her sex, I respect her as a woman, because she is behaving like a woman should. Just like she respects me when I show characteristics of a man worthy of her respect. Women respect, men love. I’m not saying men can’t respect women or that women can’t love men, I’m saying that it’s Way more important for a man to love his woman, and it’s Way more important for a woman to respect her man.

Orion, I have listened/watched many of your videos. This is your best one so far! Keep up the great work, and thank you.

I enjoy your videos very much. This idea of maintaining frame has been on my mind a lot lately and this brief talk helped a lot.

Doc literally saving lives. A real life angel.

This man has done it again. Great topic

I have to say Doctor, your videos are always claryfing and motivational.

Finally, there is somebody advising men. All the advice has previously been directed to women that men got into relationships and marriages and didn't know what they wanted leading to no investment (emotional, materially etc) in the relationship leading to so much pain for women and families. Men need more of this. Keep it up!!

One of the best talks I have ever heard. I watched the video 3 times back to back. Amazing job Doctor. Every man needs to hear this before going into any relationship. That way, they can understand which direction the relationship is going and what is truly happening.

Great video. Maintaining frame is incredibly important with anyone in your life

You’re spot on with your response and kudos to for doing the right thing in having your client come up with his own conclusion as he will have to live with his own consequences. Another man helped another, family saved, and most importantly another child spared.

So good! Thanks Dr. Taraban. I've heard people talk about frame 1-million times, but I never understood what it really meant. Now I finally get it

Best admonition yet...!!!! spot on. this is how it needs to be delivered . men need to wake up.

Every guy needs to hear this. Will share

I share your videos with friends and family. They truly are powerful and have transformed my thinking for the better. Thank you so much!

You save lives. I’m past the point of needing this advice. But you save lives my friend. This content is needed.

Brilliant as usual and so on point 👏

Ty, Doc , for being so relatable. I appreciate you having no filter as you deliver the story and highlight the learnings. Gosh we sooo need this pov. Gems on gems on gems. Ty good sir. 3:17

One of the realest videos on this. I appreciate your content.

I love this channel so much!! Thank you Dr. Orion!!

No wonder...this explains my relationship and everything that was happening. I just couldn't place a finger on why I was felt I was being "handled". My mind is blown right now. Maybe I need a consultation. I just didn't want to exist in her frame... Thank you Doctor.🙏 I've got some new work to be doing.

Doctor - this video is the bomb! Keep it up brother! Men need to hear this!

@forgottenfuryan

8 ай бұрын

Humans are a sexually dysmorphic species yet divorce and employment laws favor women thus men cannot maintain frame in a relationship without self deception, which explains why women file 80% of divorces and marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.

Remember: ask what YOU WANT. Fucking priceless 🤜🏼

You have put out some really good videos, but IMHO, this is one of the best ones. Thank you for all that you do.

Excellent reminder. I would love a video on dysfunctional families. Especially projective family identification (scapegoating). Thanks for all you do doc.

I remember an episode from Alex Grace talking about frame as well.. makes perfect sense.

Probably one of the best videos of yours that I've seen so far. 👏

Thank you for calling us your brothers. Just stumbled upon your channel. Your videos have so much value, and I can relate to so much.

Frame also applies to parents-children relationships. I put it in different terms, that in a family either the parents are the alphas or the child/children are. My observation is that when the child/children are the alphas, own the frame, everyone is miserable and anxious all the time. It's unnatural. Same with men and women. I have never met a woman who dominated her husband and was happy.

@Mastermind111111

6 ай бұрын

Men must treat women like children that is the only happy and natural relationship

@polemeros

6 ай бұрын

@@Mastermind111111 They do have a lot in common, yes.

Lessons learned too late. Entered her life and frame and now 2 kids later forever linked with her. Going to go for better in my life and for my kids future. Stay up men💪🏾

Thanks a ton Dr. Taraban. This particular situatiion might happen to me in the future and I'm glad I came across this content.

You really nailed it this episode , Great job.

Unbelievable! That’s my exact scenario-except for the kids. We’re older adults, but I’d have had to give up everything to live in her frame 1,400 miles from where I live. Unfortunately, we have an unbelievable chemistry that never diminished during 10+ years when we lived in the same town. I didn’t take the leap, but it’s hard to let go of a relationship with such powerful chemistry. Probably a once in a lifetime connection, but the price was just higher than I could afford to pay.

@davidosalsero2519

8 ай бұрын

Hey, sideman, big respect. My amateur level response would be: You did the right thing (declining the offer). And I would hope that your good partnership chemistry plus the mature way that you handled the declination should result in, frankly, a pretty well perfect endearing respectful and deep friendship. Think of the closing scene of the film "Casablanca", where Rick Blaine puts Ilsa Lund (his former lover, and the love of his life) on the plane to safety - with her husband and NOT with himself.

@sideman7117

8 ай бұрын

@@davidosalsero2519 I appreciate your comment. I’ll have to go back & look at that movie clip. The one I think about is the last scene of Dr. Zhivago. Ironically, I made the decision under the auspices of “doing the right thing.” Maybe it was the right thing, but it wasn’t the choice I WANTED to make.

@cevanille1104

8 ай бұрын

Lol, men throwing good relationships and love to follow ego and get male validation.

@cal8551

8 ай бұрын

@@cevanille1104Hardly a matter of ego and male validation; I can’t think of anyone who, in their right mind or given time to grasp what it means to uproot everything on something as potentially transient as a relationship, would throw it all away like that. The man did the right thing for himself (despite struggling with the decision) because some part of him knew it would mean the death/loss of his autonomy, something he seems to value highly. Just as women take great care to screen for traits indicative of abusive tendencies (with good reason, given strength discrepancies and intersexual dynamics between men and women), it’s understandable for men to determine whether they’re getting a fair shake in terms of the transaction considering they’re expected to do a considerable amount of heavy lifting (typically made manifest as expectations of protection, provision and the like). That’s not to say all relationships functionally boil down to this but enough of them do to cultivate a societal expectation placed on men’s shoulders to provide what they do for the sake of achieving/maintaining a relationship. Anyone who would take such a reckless leap of faith without worthwhile insurance for something that could fall apart on a whim or as a result of circumstance is woefully naïve. You wouldn’t shame an investor for being wary of where he puts his money, would you?

@kwekubrewammuako-annan862

8 ай бұрын

I think you missed a point Dr made. You living with her or ending the relationship were not the only two options on the table. You could have made a few where you met each other half way. If things were that great, a compromise without giving over too much power would be great

This is probably your best video to date. Well done. As you say, you are saving the lives of many men 👏🙏💚

Holy Christ. I didn't realise what a gem this talk was going to be. Succinct, incisive. Well said, Doc!!! 👍

Thank you, man. Not for saving me - I worked all of this out the hard way - but for setting this out in a way that makes my prior mistakes so clear, and will help those who listen. I now have the right relationship balance and wish everyone the same.

Your frame also has to do with how you handle women at their best, AND how to handle them at their worst. Your game, ability to pass fitness tests, ability to understand female nature, and to “be the oak” aka work with her yet be immovable. Is crucial to a healthy relationship and life for a man. Frame is more than just socioeconomic state, it’s huge with how you handle living the inevitable pains-in-the-ass moments only a woman can provide. If you don’t have frame, you will be in your wife’s until she cheats on you and leaves you. Every time

@jamies6534

8 ай бұрын

Men are too easily sold the line 'happy wife, happy life' And it's not true - at least not in the context that most men think about that cliche. You need to know what you want and need as a man. Once you show you're a passive participant, it's often all down hill from there.

@The_Love_Doctor_Sean

8 ай бұрын

Sounds like learn how to take abuse from women because they are women. SMH I learn how to understand their are other women which do not oppose such abuse tactics into my life and deal with those women accordingly.

Dating relationships are best when when each person can share in the frame of the other and if they decide to marry then they can both decide a healthy balance between the two frames.

@psychacks

8 ай бұрын

Stay tuned.

@johnmccullough6085

7 ай бұрын

I use the analogy of a railway track, two separate rails going in the same direction but independent. Simple but works for me. Giving and taking a little delivers that healthy balance. Totally agree with your single-sentence reply.

Thanks a lot for the great advice and supporting men everywhere.

This is quite possibly the most amazing video for men I’ve seen on KZread. Thank you. Subbing.

I wish I had access to such an important episode 10 years ago. Everything that Dr Orion explained here I learned by my own mistakes.

My good sir, you are the hero we need but don't deserve. Your content is not only incredible, but necessary. Keep it up.

@flemutter7211

8 ай бұрын

A watchful protector, a dark knight 🦇 👨‍⚕️.

Doc is killing it, for the win!

This is your best work! Excellent analysis!

Learn your ATTACHMENT STYLE!! Learn what the “unmet needs” are of that attachment style!! When you get into a relationship, figure out what her ATTACHMENT STYLE is. THEN figure out what her attachment styles “unmet needs” are. They are based around each attachment styles “core wounds.” Recap: Attachment Style Unmet Needs Core Wounds I promise you will hear this amazing Vid at a different level!

Dr you helped me a lot