That sentence flow of "Every single death only hastens the arrival of the Emrakussy" is absolutely horrifying. I love it.

@ember3579

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, and it only gets to be even more horrifying the more you know Magic and the downright heresy that can result from making these bastards cost 0 mana.

@psychogeko1527

7 ай бұрын

That line slays me every time

@PlutoDarknight

3 күн бұрын

Witness me!!

Jund doesn't raise children, they raise dragons

@sammyiel9626

Жыл бұрын

I love the implication.

@hamlet8179

Жыл бұрын

From the dead.

@ChaosMind10531

Жыл бұрын

Well now... Imagine that...

@kristophermichaud4467

Жыл бұрын

Jund doesn't raise kids. They *raze* kids.

@curranmoonblade7451

Жыл бұрын

Jund doesn’t raise children, they raze villages.

"I'm not even sure how jund players raise children" Bold of you to assume that jund players have sex

@jeezuhskriste5759

Жыл бұрын

If I could pick between sex or four 8 mana creatures on turn 3 I’ll pick the latter every time

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

Best comment

@nndo6953

Жыл бұрын

this🙌🏿

@uniraptor4277

Жыл бұрын

Hey now, adoption is always an option for people who can't/ don't want to conceive. Having said that DO NOT let the jund players into the orphanage, not after what happened last time!

@Zelphiez

Жыл бұрын

They have plenty of sex...with dogs.

"What if Red AND Green players had Card Draw?" - Statements dreamed up by a mad man. We have been played for fools.

@wesleywyndam-pryce5305

11 ай бұрын

? green is the 2nd best draw color in the game.

"Wow, we really can't let that attack""Wow, we really can't let that die" The delivery on that line is absolutely hilarious

@jamesehlenfeldt7132

Жыл бұрын

The best Henzie cards elicit both responses.

Calling Jund a “Life Insurance Scam” is the most correct thing Jund has every been called

@Pluto137

8 ай бұрын

I usually use that to hate on white/black

The Jund player is just politely trying to make sure the blue player doesn't make the game take forever.

@Ceracio

Жыл бұрын

I (your friendly neighbourhood monored player) have a solution for blue players making the game take forever, especially if it's the ... *shudders* ... monoblue kind... It's a lovely 4-mana card called Boil. I was lucky enough to open it as an Amonkhet Invocation (or unlucky enough, considering its price vs some of the other Invocations), and ever since then I have been terrorizing blue players.

@MetalMoose13

Жыл бұрын

@@Ceracio You're a hero of the people.

@TheComicBookJoker

11 ай бұрын

@@CeracioI recently decided to add a bunch of the old blue hate and white hate cards from Magic’s past to a Latulla deck I’m building. That way, even if I can’t or don’t want to use them as written, I can instead discard them to activate Latulla’s Blaze ability.

@wesleywyndam-pryce5305

11 ай бұрын

​@@Ceracio I'm shocked anyone is willing to play with someone like yoy

@Ceracio

11 ай бұрын

@@wesleywyndam-pryce5305 I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not, and seeing how obvious I made the humour in my original post, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. In any case, Boil is 1 card out of 99, and it's not like I run tutors (not that there are that many in red, outside of Gamble), and half the time even when I do get to play it it hits 4 lands max. The only time it's ever heavily impacted a game was when I was down to a 1v1 against a Talrand player and I topdecked it the turn he tapped out.

I love Henzie's face so god damn much He's gonna bliz out goons to steal your knee caps and he knows it

This was the first in person commander that showed me you can pull out seven eldrazi in four turns

If I had a nickel for every time Maldhound said Emrakussy I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s really, REALLY weird that it happened twice.

@jasminewatson5653

9 ай бұрын

Look. He had to make up for the fact that he misgendered her in the video about her SOMEhow, and apparently permanently mentally renaming her to "The Emrakussy" is how that went.

I added kozelik and the new Etali to my Henzie deck and I've never been happier in Jund. Also Henzie killed Atraxa so put some respect on his name

@Nevendar92

Жыл бұрын

Killed her seems like an understatement. He dropped a goddamn building on her, then got a bunch of buddies to finish her off by beating her to death with crowbars and baseball bats with nails in them. Dude does not fuck around.

@malachai1381

Жыл бұрын

This is why every henzie deck is required by law to run titan of industry. Drop an entire skyscraper on whoever you are most upset with.

@joueurdudimanche760

Жыл бұрын

As a Henzie main; I must share the story of my friend playing the new atraxa (the one that makes you draw) while I had my henzie deck. His face when I just said "Lore accurate" as I attack for the kill will forever hold a dear place in my heart.

@harry4716

Жыл бұрын

@@Nevendar92common Riveters/Unionist W

@brendonford3838

Жыл бұрын

Hendrazi is my next version of henzie for sure

I do enjoy how quintessentially Jund he is. See, he's got the "murder people for profit" from black, the "where the fuck do all these creatures come from" of red, and the "that is far too cheap for what you're actually casting" of green!

God, please do Imoti. That card is insane, it asks the question “what if every single one of your bombs had 3 more stapled to it?”

@TooMuchBSToo

Жыл бұрын

The fun part of Imoti is adding some dumb shit like Gandalf, Westward Voyager, and getting more value

@rubbersoulman5533

Жыл бұрын

"Asks the question?" No it answers it.

@noesunyoutuber7680

Жыл бұрын

​@@rubbersoulman5533Simic Value Pile is never the answer, it's a question and the answer is always "yes."

@addicted2SODA1

Жыл бұрын

My 25$ imoti keruga deck regularly slaps multi thousand dollar decks. Card is hilarious.

@Felixr2

Жыл бұрын

@@addicted2SODA1 To be fair, multi thousand dollar decks can just be garbage decks with four OG duals.

Henzie is an absolute riot, both in the "fun" sense and the "tipping over shit and breaking the windows of small businesses" sense.

"Henzie out here 'yelling witness me!'" Got me real good! 😂 Love your videos!

Henzie Torre is proof that "fair Magic" can be incredibly unfair.

As someone who got introduced to the church of Jund via Henzie, I can say this is accurate.

As a proud Jund player, you have described the strategy exactly. Make people think we're playing fair and then punch them in the face while sacrificing children for gain.

As a Henzie player, this was 1000% accurate

“Witness me blood bag! Witnessss!!”- A Jund player popping off

embracussy had me dead

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

FUCK I FORGOT TO OVERLAY EMRAKUL I’ll scream forever

Henzie is THAT dude. You gotta pair him with Umori for some truly delectable "Oops all Creatures" warcrimes. Favorite commander by a mile. Also Jund Players don't reproduce we end civilizations.

Ah yes Jund, the rabid bare-knuckle boxer of mtg. Another fun one in need of roasting is Kresh. Get 'em

Man said "Emrakussy" and made my week just as it was just starting.

@NightShadowSystem

Жыл бұрын

And the "Toolbox" full of "Bad Dragons" in all different sizes did it for me xD

The commentary was delicious. Your analysis is always hilarious and outrageous but “Emrakussy” absolutely sent me 😂😂😂. I humbly request either my first commander, Nikya of the Old Ways, or my favorite commander, Brudiclad, Telchor Engineer.

This dude pleasantly surprised me and suddenly became my number 1 deck i love playing. Bought the deck on a whim thinking it would be mid, suddenly realised i love the way it plays and ive blinged it out since when possible. And im always searching for more haymaker cards to add to it each time, i love my value shenanigans the deck provides.

Love this one. For us cowards begging to let us untap with our commanders, please do a magus lucea Kane episode

this is my favourite flavour of Beating the Shit Out of You(tm) because interaction needs to happen at instant speed for it to be effective, and it’s one of those commanders where you can get a shell of great value & then just throw in all your stupid dumb monsters & still have a pretty fun deck. love henzie, he has every disease

Henzie was my first commander deck, and I've loved jund ever since.

"Henzie out here screaming witness me, every single death only hastens the arrival of the the Emrakussy" Absolutely slayed me man, you have rapidly hit the top of my subs as a place I go for a good laugh and excellent info, keep it up

Shorikai Genesis Engine has to be worth a roast. A literal Gundam as a commander.

You reminded me that I should add food chain into my Henzie deck, y'know the best way to eat your own young. Lol great video

The official Jund motto is "raise and raze" It is important to note that this motto does not have a target because they will do it to themselves just as soon as they'll do it to you

I love "his toolbox is only filled with various sizes of bad dragons"

You’ve come so far and your videos keep getting fucking funnier. Please keep it up, I’d love some long form roast videos of like shards or guilds.

I main deck is henzie, this is nothing but accurate. Plus I love sacing my own children for a card

So I am a jack of all trades commander player, but I do love me some sac shenanigans, especially when GB is involved, so this made my day and got you my subscription.

This is the funniest and most spot-on Magic-related thing I have seen 😂 possibly ever. I love my Henzie deck.

Thank you for roasting Henzie. After I read the bit of info about him that came with the deck I came to love this foo.

Henzie is my second pre-con that I buy it. I love it. Currently using a budget version that's all about hitting fast and hitting hard

I stumbled across your videos one day in youtube rabbit hole and you are quickly becoming one of my favorites you are fuckinh hilarious my dude please keep it up

had to come back and watch the review that started it as someone who has never played magic that most recent commander game on shuffle up and play looked so fun.

Yes, v much interested in seeing this fleshed out!!

After the shenanigans pulled on Shuffle up and play where you played this, I applaud you for this deck and I hope that commander became on of your mains.

The “sometimes?” Got me 😂 Requesting my redheaded queen, Jhoira weatherlight captain

I'm glad you put _some_ respect on my boy Henzie he needs it, and I need him to be in the online mtg game or I stg I'll stampede into their HQ myself and shake all of them toll he's in the GOTDAMN GAME

These shorts always make my day

You just made me consider building Henzie. Thanks :)

this roast is even funnier cause canonically after this Mald was like "Hm...what if i made a Henzie deck though?"

Witness me! Fuck yes. This is my fav vid of yours. This is my fav commander. I'm a little sad you didn't reference Henzies smirk. Best turn 4 card ruthless technomancer, second seedguide ash

Bro as somebody who has made Henzie his #1 deck since it came out and to this day still have like several different builds I switch with. This is perfect from the Henzie "Witness me" to myself even making a bad dragon joke while playing the deck.

Oh hey, I was just about to build him

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

There’s that targeted algorithm work again

I can’t believe Mald didn’t talk about reanimate nonsense in this deck. “Shucks guys. I bricked on my 20 draws and missed a giant thing to blitz in. Damn shame.” *Casts Rise of the Dark Realms*

Hell yeah, my boy Henzie got one! love that mischievous little scamp. gonna also throw out a request for Zelvor, Elturel Exile. He's really fair, insofar as hitting all your opponents with a cruel ultimatum at once means they all suffer an equal amount

“If it were fair, it wouldn’t be green.” Says the Izzet player.

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

Sssh what has izzet ever done wrong other than all the cheating?

@kalamander8563

Жыл бұрын

​@@maldhoundbeing smug about it

as a henzie player myself, i loved everything about this video

The "Witness me!!!" made me die laughing. Mad Max to the Extreme.

I always love you Commander Roast, can’t wait for the day you do Ragavan

You are a treasure. Protect this man.

My favourite commander! Love this bastard and my whole playgroup fears him

The toolbox full of bad dragons comment made me choke on my drink bc I was not expecting it and it was too funny😂

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

I measure my success exclusively in near spit takes so this pleases me greatly

@zackkelley2940

Жыл бұрын

And now I'm imagining Henzie having a side hustle making pornos.^^

After seeing you play it on Shuffle Up & Play I really really really want to play it now

I picked up this precon, it's pretty fun!

Hey he did Henzie! Love this guy. Unironically my favourite Precon commander in since Ezuri, Claw of Progress (wink nudge). In my last session he died 4 times and still came back around dropping bombs for 3 mana it's insane.

Okay would love a review of the Shrine Commander!

I’d love to see the mardu baby that wants to be kicked aka piru, the volatile. I love your content mate keep up the good work

I am working on a henzie deck and this made my brain to burn with ideas

You are legitimately the funniest KZreadr I’ve ever watched.

@maldhound

Жыл бұрын

Your words are appreciated 🙏 I will try to live up to them

This is still my favorite commander review video. I built a Henzie deck solely from this.

Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker is a fair and balanced black card that I'd love to see a roasting of.

Uh, you know what, you convinced me. Second doctor/goalie it Is.

One of my favorite commander

Dude you have to do Sefris of the Hidden Ways! Love that commander and I think a synopsis by you would be hilarious! 😂

you had me at "murderous gold-diggin ho'es"

Hope you do a video on Yorion soon! My favorite commander

Emrakussy is my cursed word for the day, so thank you for that.

As someone who has a Henzie in the playgroup, he does indeed scream "Witness Me!". Its a double-edged sword, because if you kill Henzie, his stuff gets even cheaper, making you die faster. But if he lives, you still usually die pretty fast. Pitcher's Poison, I guess 😂 A good Commander either way

“It’s like sorry but I get points everytime I choke slam you” actually dead

Mald playing this deck on The Professor's channel is the _only_ 2h+ video I've watched in the past few years It was glorious

Okay, that bad dragon reference got my like lmfao

@DrkWhiteWolf

Жыл бұрын

@maldhound Do Shalai and Halar next, I have a modular deck and it pops off by accident :p

Day 5 of asking for Kasla, the Broken Halo. Love your true crime doc-, I mean card reviews ❤

A friend plays Henzie. It's full of Wurmcoil Engine and Triplicate Titan and graveyard recursion. Even if you board wipe, he still puts creatures like crazy on the field.

Come to this episode after watching Maldhound on Shuffle up and Play...I...this did not disappoint. Emrakussy.

The day you cover Narset, Enlightened Master is the day you feel a new kind of pain

"hot potatoing the baby in a crash can" XD dead

Hastens the approach of the emrecussy

At this point i have seen this guys face more than any magiccard.

Your explanation of cards is as spot on as any spot removal, and you've covered a couple of my personal favorite commanders and that being said i must request you review/roast Grimgrin, Corpseborn. If you do i will subscribe to your channel. Simple enough. Fair trade right?

The smile does it for me. This damn smile 😂 of the card I mean

These videos just keep getting better and better. What are your thoughts on the painharmonica himself, Isshin, Two Heavens as One

@williamchristensen7354

10 ай бұрын

Excuse me, but Isshin, Two Heavens as One is clearly a SLAM-harmonicon and I won't hear otherwise.

Bought this precon and was so amazed at how well it played I have been upgrading it into a birthing pod toolbox of terrors. It also rund cards like flameshadow conjuring and bramble sovereign and multiple global haste enablers. Ever seen what getting trucked over by 3 hasty Titans of Industry Industry does to a man?

Great video! He's such a wild and fun commander and I had to embrace the idea that I want him to die as much as possible as fast as possible to give my opponents the swift merciful death they deserve.

"Henzie, I'm pregnant!" "Hell yeah, free ammo." "Free WHAT!?"

I can totally see a player sacrificing Henzie to gain mana to then cast him again👀

@Dyllon2012

Жыл бұрын

It’s usually not worth it. Once command tax starts going up a lot, you’d rather just spend that mana now for tempo. I just plan on him getting removed via a board clear or something at some point.

You know what, this video inspired me to make a Henzie deck my next project. I feel like doing some crimes.

I think a fun bit of flavor about this card is how as a devil, he only performs this ignite-and-sacrifice act on things more powerful (manacost-wise) than him. Rather than something like a creature that exerts dominance over smaller ones by making them do stuff, he's just a little schemer (fitting both the demon and rogue types) to deal with and manipulate the powerful.

Blitz Squee the Immortal out of the graveyard for RR repeatedly. Could be great.

You could say he has a "Toolbox" of creatures to choose from. :D

You should roast Jodah Archmage eternal

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND