Imagine being a prisoner in north korea for years and coming back to meet the president and you see Donald Trump. I'd think i was being pranked.

@russmartin9549

5 жыл бұрын

I wished one of woulda fuckin knocked him out and proceeded

@stevencormier8741

5 жыл бұрын

Hes president.Were all pranked

@stevencormier8741

5 жыл бұрын

Got a joke but true..How do you know when Trump is lying?????His mouth is moving

Im from Sweden, any negotiations with North Korea is done trough the Swedish embassy. so on behalf of Swedish diplomats that got the 3 Americans released your welcome.

@grit1

6 жыл бұрын

Ahaha this reach is hilarious

@brendavigeant2277

6 жыл бұрын

As a Canadian, thank you to the Swedish diplomats for their work on behalf of others. No surprise Spanky will take credit for anything good that happens; and he can be counted on to blame Hilary for when things go bad. He is so SAD, PATHETIC and a WASTE OF OXYGEN!

@alanatransify

6 жыл бұрын

thank you Swedish diplomats. God bless

@aijabuda8022

6 жыл бұрын

They certainly did a great job negotiating.

@dongillespie1518

5 жыл бұрын

THANKS!

Imagine being just released from North Korea and Trump is praising Kim Jong Un, right in front of them. Is there anything he can do right? Anything, ever?

@hansbass8119

6 жыл бұрын

kablamo9999 To be fair, it is drumpf we're talking about

@jessiejames7492

6 жыл бұрын

so right.

@jessiejames7492

6 жыл бұрын

you scratch my back i scratch yours. thses filthy politicians

@mikereseigh

6 жыл бұрын

kablamo9999 no

@JosiePC44

6 жыл бұрын

kablamo9999 did he even do anything to get them released?

When trump is in jail, they should run stephen colbert´s intro monologues on a big unbreakeble 4k tv in his cell 24/7 xD. cause nobodys better at takin the piss out off him than stephen colbert (and his writers)!!

Stop the embarrassment get rid of the Electoral College

I have not seen any evidence that Trump cared about these prisoners OR that he knew of their existance. This was the effort of the Swedish Ministry Of Foreign Affairs which managed to have a consulate in North Korea and negotiates on behalf of other countries and did so long before Trump came. He just stood idly by and now brags loud enough about it until people shrug and give him credit. This man is pathetic.

@sherlocksmuuug6692

6 жыл бұрын

“B...bbbut they are nice to -the scary brown people- refugees, I thought that meant they hate murica and muh freedoms???” -the average republican

@TRMV

6 жыл бұрын

Umm Chewar he's not, try doing some actual research, and then apologize!

@Afkg3ar

6 жыл бұрын

Drace90 you're so fucking stupid I don't even want to start explaining what Trump has done for the NK situation. You're the type of guy who gets your news from Colbert. That explains it all.

@Drace90

6 жыл бұрын

Afkg3ar You don't "want" to start explaining, because you know you have no idea yourself. Because you just want to believe that Trump is some kind of genius messiah, because you like the things he says and you don't care what he actually does. You are the type of guy who gets his news from Trump tweets. That explains all. If I would get my news from Colbert I would not just have objected him, would I?

@ChristianMission

6 жыл бұрын

Libs just hate to give Trump credit for any of his positive successes, but love to convict him of whatever based on no evidence, just their hate.

Kim Jong-Un is playing Trump like a 10 cent whistle.

New drink idea: Dark & Stormy Daniels: Ginger beer, Dark rum and Jack Daniels, with an orange slice on top

If you are in the 22nd congressional district in California please please kick Devin Nunes to the curb come November!!!

@mscloudherder329

6 жыл бұрын

NOMO FOMO if you are in the 19th, vote for Michael Eggman

@phera5713

6 жыл бұрын

Yes!!

@c.a.t4607

6 жыл бұрын

I hope June's gets voted out too.. unfortunately he is in a brain dead republican district..

@Werewolfsable

6 жыл бұрын

California is turning more and more into a shitty place to live day by day and you want to elect the same people who turned their back on you? You're dead last in quality of life in America and nearly half your population according to polls are planning on leaving the state, but you still want to play the game of left vs right over any kind of balance? California must change if it wants to return to its' former status as a place that's desirable to live in. Because as of now, it's crumbling to dust.

@aeviwright7846

6 жыл бұрын

Earthquakes, Drought, Roadways, etc. California has a unique set of problems and sitting on your ass and reversing policies so companies have more right to endanger peoples health isn't going to help shit. Conservative anti-regulation policies led to the most unsanitary periods of American history resulting in large death tolls and medications that caused all kinds of problems without a care. Regulations are made after a behavior has already been identified as a problem for public safety. Also if you have a GED or less stay out of politics in general it's a lot more complex than basic reading/math/science skills. Maybe also a 3.8+ GPA in general. Just saying there is a reason they made the show "are you smarter than a 5th grader" because about 30% of the population is in the "not smarter than" category but still above mental retardation so they still feel confident in themselves. (the bar was lowered from 85-70 because the average Iq in america at the time was 89 and Granpappy was too much of a snowflake to handle the truth without getting angry)

Ha! You can't figure out my plan if I have no plan! ... This can only end well...

Colbert you bring so much joy to the world that I get teary eyed,well.... mainly from laughing.😢😥😅😂😂😂

I hired Mr. Johnny Walker as my consultant since the election.

@komalahayes1535

6 жыл бұрын

St. Paul I like mine Red. Sometimes I need him Blue 😀👍

@jamieh4148

6 жыл бұрын

Up here we hired Mr. C. Royal.

@kingalfred2014

6 жыл бұрын

I hired decorated navy veteran Captain Morgan.

Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Three hostages home, then the minute passed.

Hostages aren't known to have an excellent time when they are being held again their will. Trump is really not good at relating to other humans or understanding their suffering.

@MinersLoveGames

6 жыл бұрын

knives You kind of need to have a sense of empathy to do that. Something Trump has proven to not have time and time again.

@couragekarnga8735

6 жыл бұрын

Well, the keyword there is other "humans." Trump is a pumpkin brought to life.

Colbert is the best physical comedian on the circuit. His little mimes with his invisible props are golden, like putting the non-existent photos of Cohen and the Secret Service back in his pocket, are always excellent.

Want insight to Trump? Watch FOX News then wait 5 minutes and you'll hear an echo

Thats all he cares about 'TV Ratings' sigh.....

You are excellent Stephen Colbert!!!

@johnjay9034

6 жыл бұрын

Watch and see what this non stop Trump bashing by the media and hollywood will do, you will see 4 more years of him guaranteed. Thanks in advance. MAGA

See now, I'm Jamaican. "Batty" is a patois (Jamaican dialect) term for ass. So when I clicked on youtube and the first vid that popped up had "Battle of the batty" in the thumbnail, it took me a minute to register that they don't mean "Battle of the ass". Greeting to any other Jamaicans reading this. Bless.

@LordAaronus

6 жыл бұрын

D Mcken well they're both asses

Do people still think the President is coherent after he thanked Kim Jong-un for being excellent to the three Americans that had been imprisoned?

@johnjay9034

6 жыл бұрын

Kind of like Obama calling Putin to congratulate him on his victory, all the while he is in killing ppl in Ukraine and using a rebels to down a commercial airline flight. Biased much.

@carlosjaramillo9702

6 жыл бұрын

Are you an idiot? Both of what you referred to happened in 2014 while Putin was congratulated in 2012.

@maxsmart9116

6 жыл бұрын

John Jay You lost that one bro

@thorr18BEM

6 жыл бұрын

However, Putin then "won" another election on March 18, 2018 which Trump called him about and congratulated him on and that call was actually *after* the shenanigans in Ukraine and elsewhere, unlike the Obama call.

@BoringGamesCo

6 жыл бұрын

He got them out so...

Haha! I’m Jamaican and this title means something completely different 🤣🤣🤣

I told my girl as soon as i heard he was showing up at 3am that he was doing that just to thank himself....He is a sick person... You know that their families weren't even allowed to be there?

@Luckofthedraw17

6 жыл бұрын

I don't think anybody said that they weren't allowed to be there...they were taken to the hospital almost immediately, so that was kind of the plan all along, to get treated asap and meet the family later.

@johnjay9034

6 жыл бұрын

Then why do it at 3am and not just wait for the real photo opt right as everyone is watching the morning news? I really liked when Obama hosted that Traitor Bergdahl in the Rose Garden and had his daddy with him reading from the Koran, that was a real treat to watch Obama show his real religion and agenda trading Gitmo prisoners for that deserter. I had my daughter watch as a real president is now on the clock!

@HM-ob7ju

6 жыл бұрын

John Jay Why are so many right-wingers convinced that Obama was a Muslim? Get over it!

Reaching so hard here, I love all the spin and desperation to paint this as a bad moment. You people are devoid of happiness.

I wish Johnny Carson could see Stephen Colbert. He totally channels him. Love Carson. Miss him. RIP

"He was excellent to these three people"... talking about literal hostages. Art of the deal writer and President of the United Shashes, everybody. -.-

@affenket

6 жыл бұрын

Blak - you would think by now we would be used to it but he continues to surprise us with just how obscenely dumb he truly is. The man has no concept of the leader he’s about to negotiate with, no understanding of who he is or how he operates.

Steve Colbert is one of the best bad motherfuker I love this guy

To give credits where it's due, when it comes to craziness, no one can out-do trump.

Yeah Trump is so unpredictable, not even he knows what he is doing.

@iamnegan1515

6 жыл бұрын

Mike Zimmer sheepdogs. MAGA

@rcpmac

6 жыл бұрын

Hahhhhhhhhha! Double down trumpet! Ain't yo arce gettin sore?

@tonycampbell1424

6 жыл бұрын

Iam Negan Sheepdogs? You mean the animals that protect the defenseless sheep from predators like cunning foxes and vicious wolves and thieving con men? Sure. We're the sheepdogs. Trump and your plutocrat owners can be the wolves and foxes. I'll let you do the rest of that math, big guy. ;)

@endrizalsvensonsonson8494

6 жыл бұрын

"he's never been in a hospital before, he's as confused as you are"

@supremeleaderarmy9164

6 жыл бұрын

Will Pack Are u really that stupid

Welcome back lads, now you get to see why you guys got out, for better and worse.

Colbert has Mr. Daniels, Trump has Ms. Daniels. 😏

OMG you nailed ...!!!

😀😀😀👏👏👏 Steven "Peeing inside and being hit with rolled up news papers"! 👍👍😀🤗

Looks like it's down to two 'Daniels' to keep America sane: one is called Jack and the other Stormy.

Leave it to Spanky to turn this into a self congratulatory event!

Essentially "Thank you for covering the hostage story, u will be rewarded with TV ratings !" >_>

Amazing I'm waiting for such video from weeks.

I give up I know someone in Canada Goodbye

@couragekarnga8735

6 жыл бұрын

Wait! Take me with you! Well, me and my fiance.

"Lowering the bar" is going to be Trump's legacy. He's such an embarrassment.

As consultants go, that Mr. Daniels is very smooth.

I am glad Stephen is using a legitimate and well-known News source like....AXIOS.

Look at the guy next to trump(right side) when trump starts saying "we would like to thank Kim Jong un for his excellent (...)". He looks surprised and annoyed at the same time.

Monologue Order: 1. Trump's Plan For Peace: 'Out-Crazy' Kim Jong-Un 2. The Late Show's Tolerance Tips

@harrymarkandjohn

6 жыл бұрын

It's a lottery every day... :-D

@jessiejames7492

6 жыл бұрын

trump is doing it for his own popularity. first of all dont trust Kim. what all of a sudden hes buddy buddy with the west? he is a cruel leader ..theyre both the same...

@airportrunway3987

6 жыл бұрын

trump is doing it for his own popularity. More sour words coming from Trump haters who are so upset over Trumps success. 3 hostages home and 3.9% unemployment! Jealousy envy and sour sour grapes!

Stephen Colbert is on vacation.......again ! So I'm having to rewatch all these old clips once again.

That deliciously smooth flavor of Jack Daniels, old boiled peanuts and Elmer's glue.

whenever you think "can't get dumber" then he makes whatever the hell he did time look tame

Two greatest American heroes in 2018: Stormy and Jack DANIELS! It's high time to throw the stigma of porn and whiskey!

@sherlocksmuuug6692

6 жыл бұрын

+shlibber That sounds suspiciously like a russian surname...are you sure it’s not part of the trump administration?

@sirwinstonlennon6486

6 жыл бұрын

Stephen Colbert wants North Korea to NUKE USA!

@vaidehiraghavan

6 жыл бұрын

Paul Ramos, I totally agree with you.

@matthewcalifana488

6 жыл бұрын

I will drink to That !

@willritter4076

6 жыл бұрын

I'd greatly appreciate it if some fans of 80s power ballads would check out my acoustic piano & vocal covers of AGAINST ALL ODDS by Phil Collins and IS THIS LOVE by Whitesnake on my channel in tribute to the legends. Live acoustic with no autotune. Thanks and peace.

That dog whisperer joke is really amazing, but it's surprising and rare those two elements of the peeing and magazine hitting come together. GOOD WORK

The dog whisperer joke was savage :D

The Presidential Show is the highest rated in the history of ratings even as the approval numbers the lowest be history of approving.

Trump was like "How about those 3AM TV ratings you're getting thanks to showing me on your channels for free, eh!? Don't you love me? I love me! Hahah!"

everybody was kung fu fighting

Drumph fucks up at every turn. Ten steps to getting something done and thirty steps to fix what he fucks up.Drumph whispers that's a job that doesn't require any thinking at all.

Oh, good god, Trump! Just stop trying to take credit for things! Can you give us _that,_ at least?

@Ace1King1

6 жыл бұрын

You're probably not lazy. You're certainly no perfectionist. You're just a little naive and uneducated.

@zeta458

6 жыл бұрын

I mean it was his doing so the credit is his '3'

@cringelord9568

6 жыл бұрын

Gee, it’s almost as if you’re supposed to take credit for things that you did

@soyborne.bornmadeandundone1342

6 жыл бұрын

Actually lazy perfectionist is right. This is mostly a thing because of the south korean president. Not Trump. Thank him if anything... So no Trumptards... Your boy is still useless. And even if he was the one who saved those 3 men... It still doesn't even come close to making up for his blunders.

@akborealisdevstringerdesig3845

6 жыл бұрын

lazyperfectionist1 dumbass. Look at it this way. Can you open up that diseased cesspool of a brain and give him credit for anything? I bet you can't. Think about that for a minute. You don't represent anything which makes America great.

Just a small point about Donny threatening sanctions against businesses dealing with Iran. I noted that the US insisted that companies be able to sue governments if those governments took actions that adversely affected the businesses. I trust that Total, Renault, Airbus and the rest sue the pants off the US and win bigly.

@Legitpenguins99

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for bringing that up. Let's add it to the mountains of mountains of other proof he doesn't have a single clue what the hell he's even doing

@Legitpenguins99

6 жыл бұрын

And yes they would win because Corporations literally control the government now adays. Looby is just another word for bribe.

i like colbert. he tells it like it is!

A Trump Whisperer? That's an insult to my boy Caesar Milan.

It's crazy how most likely no one knew that north Korea had 3 American prisoners..not even me. But here they are 😅💕

Best monologue ever

Every time president Bone Spur opens his mouth, I'm always amazed with all the words he knows.. And how he puts them together only a stable genius could do...

I'd love to know what the translator was saying in her translations. lol! I'm guessing it was something like: "He blowing his own horn just keep smiling."

I know that it's rude but I wish someone would just interrupt and contradict tRump on camera.

Wait aminute. Doesn´t Drumpf hate people who got captured???

@joeyoung1498

6 жыл бұрын

pekinobo - only McCain I guess.

@artwithmichael5547

6 жыл бұрын

I know. Amazing no one picked up on this.

@stausskane3227

4 жыл бұрын

Trump*

Everyone needs to Give it up, everyone can go in peace and live in the truth.

Why does his behaviour remind me of Micheal Scott from the office.😂

Make those votes count this fall!

@GrahamChapman

6 жыл бұрын

*+MegaAngus1* Oh, for Chrissake, _you don't have until this fall!_ Seriously! Stop going on and on about "vote this November" and "just wait until the investigation catches up to him" because if you're waiting for that, if you think you can solve this crisis by sitting on your ass for another couple of months, _then you're already fucked!_ You need to do something _now,_ BEFORE it's too late. Call your state representatives, walk down the streets banging kettle lids together while chanting protests, plan a 2nd amendment protected presidential assassination, just fucking _do something_ instead of waiting for a mid-term election that will be too late! Just, please, _do something._

*_Earlier That Night_* DONALD TRUMP: Jared, Ivanka, wake up! We don't have much time! IVANKA: Dad? What the-- It's one o'clock in the morning… shouldn't you be hate-tweeting someone. DONALD TRUMP: No time for that right now. We've gotta get you two on a plane. Get your things together, quickly! IVANKA: Plane? What plane? DONALD TRUMP: Three prisoners were released by North Korea, and in exchange I had to give them you two. Their plane will be here in two hours. _(pause)_ What… what the heck is that on Jared's face? IVANKA: It's a mud mask made with cultivated turtle dung from the Galapagos Islands. He likes that it gives him the smooth, unblemished complexion of a young boy. DONALD TRUMP: Geezus. IVANKA: Seriously, daddy, what's going on?! DONALD TRUMP: What's going on is, Lil Kim said he'd give us the prisoners, and in exchange he wants Jared to be his new man-servant, and he said he wants my daughter to be his new wife. IVANKA: How do you know he didn't mean Tiffany? DONALD TRUMP: Who? IVANKA: Tiffany. Your _other_ daughter. DONALD TRUMP: Are you trying to tell me I have a daughter named Tiffany? Nice try. Not falling for it. Now, here, get packing. I just don't understand why this empty suitcase is so darn heavy. _He unzips the suitcase_ DONALD TRUMP: Melania, would you get out of there and stop horsing around! First they catch you hiding in a bin of White House linens getting sent out for cleaning, then they find a letter you wrote to El Chapo, asking him to dig you a tunnel. You're acting a little nutty, sweetheart. IVANKA: Daddy, please tell me you're not serious. DONALD TRUMP: I'm being totally serious. You're gonna be Kim Jong-Un's new wife. Spoiler alert: you're gonna have to lose the heels… and about 8 inches off your natural height… not sure how that's gonna work, exactly. IVANKA: Daddy, please don't send me away! TRUMP: Look, Ivanka, you're my daughter and it's been real, but you're damn near 40. And we all know it's over at 40. Just be glad someone with Kim Jong-Un's power still wants you… he _could_ be dating college chicks, ya know. IVANKA: But who will do our jobs here? DONALD TRUMP: _(chuckles)_ No offense, sweetie, but I've seen mannequins get more done during the day than you two. Now let's hurry, we've gotta go! ...

@TheFriendlyTroll

6 жыл бұрын

This is fantastic! SNL should make this their cold open this weekend.

@maximusreed9270

6 жыл бұрын

LoLz

@EmperorOfEcchi

6 жыл бұрын

fidorover love you

@TheFronkinator

6 жыл бұрын

Lol I actually read all of that...

@erickfernandezdearteaga563

6 жыл бұрын

Trump is far too eloquent in this. No excessive use of superlatives or mentions of ratings? Totally unbelievable portrayal. Still brilliant, though.

Missed opportunity for a Stormy Daniels/Jack Daniels no relation joke

No Stormy joke during drinking Jack DANIELS? I'm so disappointed, sir!

Trump can't help himself can he? He gets a perfect photo-op and a chance to appear presidential, and still has to brag about ratings in front of a crowd

how did NK managed to kidnap americans?

@command_unit7792

6 жыл бұрын

Bigolddragon they where spies...

Watching these again in late November 2020. Can genuinely laugh again

Trump called in a nuclear strike on that happy moment.

Eh, give those prisoners some time to know Donny, soon they'll be on a flight back to North Korea.

Its a legit strategy though. Rivals cant know what you are going to do if you dont know what you are going to do. Have to give Drumpf some credit

@xXMadTXx

6 жыл бұрын

Jorge Naranjo Nah, had nothing to do with it. That's why nobody can take Liberals or Republicans seriously. Y'all biased as fuck, talk mad shit on everything your opposing party does and refuse to recognize when they had a part in doing something good.

@jorgenaranjo8029

6 жыл бұрын

xXMadTXx okay, several things. First, its a well known joke, so dont take it seriously. Second, just because I dont like Trump, that doesnt mean Im from the opposite party. Third, Im not even american, Im from no party. I, like most of the world outside of the USA, am laughing at your current situation, in which, as you say, just because the rival says/does something, its automatically wrong and has to be bashed for it, while your leader is a big baby and the opposition cant stop crying. And Im spanish, I know from first hand what is having embarassing politics

@xXMadTXx

6 жыл бұрын

Jorge Naranjo I'm sorry lol, I'm not addressing you directly. I'm talking to anyone who subscribes to a political party.

@jorgenaranjo8029

6 жыл бұрын

no prob, i gotcha

Oh how I wish they had suggested a switch!!! 😂😂

What a hilarious monologue. Pure hilarity.

He served as a reminder to all other world leaders on how not to conduct. Even the Kim Jong was like I got to shape up, I don't want to be viewed as the same as this lunatic old man.

Kim seems to be a sweet guy Just kidding

@mohamedjama8711

6 жыл бұрын

Archibald Tuttle y

I love this guys wit.

Mr & Mrs Smith sequel: Mr & Mrs Daniels vs The Trump administration

Vote in November!!!! Vote these clowns out.

Stop talking about ratings it's not about how many people watch T.V.!!

Since when did 'stupidly doing things that make no sense' become a 'strategy of being unpredictable to outsmart opponents?'

Nice work at 4:42 Stephen.

Glad to see that Trump has changed his mind about the "captured".

According to North Korean TV, their ratings have always hit an everyday high.

just here for the comments funnier than the monologue

"The 3:00 am Presidential ratings are through the roof, people, through the roof."

"The Trump Whisperer" was the worst Robert Redford film ever.

@Ace1King1

6 жыл бұрын

"The TrumpFather" was the worst Marlon Brando film ever.

The "Crazy Hair Summit"

I love this andrei

They’re called trump whisperers because whenever trump tries to get to close to any staffers he has to be hissed at the way Cesar does to actual dogs

The Slap Chop guy would make a better president, ratings be damned.

That thumbnail has a wholeee different meaning in the UK 😂😂

paint chips lol. Didn't see that coming

Mount Oopsa-Daisy 😂

2:03 lol so good

Salty salty salty. Keep it up. It’s great.

The quote just shows how little he had to do with the negotiations

1:53 "Frankly, we didn't think this was going to happen." Of course he didn't.