"I am not going to respond in any way that I don't want to" is such a raw feeling I can relate to so much. I believe you definitely have the tools between all parts of you to handle anything. PS every one of your videos makes me miss wearing emo clothes and sneaking into my sisters closet to find new hoodies to wear 😂

♡ feeling multidimensional is how we explained it to our therapist. Feeling as if we see all the possibilities of how we can be in the moment but also feeling all of our previous experiences all at once. Layered over one another. Learning now this is a form of us being sort of conconscious? Sort of sharing our memories and such? What becomes very intense is the fact that we can smell and feel the things from the memories layered upon another as well. Like sensory overload. Separation becomes a sought-after thing for us, because if this. To separate our thoughts and learn who and what they are coming from. Lo, we wait for therapy and time to help process.

@thisbetheverses

Ай бұрын

@@alittlespacetime that's a good way to describe it. We understand a lot of what you're saying, for us, the seeing all the possibilities of how we can be isn't something we've spent a long time experiencing. We spent most of our lives very disconnected and fragmented, from each other but also for some of us in a lot of parts of ourselves, some of us have subsystems and in the last four years we've been working hard and having a lot of integration and some fusion within our subsystems which is what we thought of reading what you said. Before that it was a lot of feeling very polarised, like I could only see one way of thinking, feeling, being, reacting in each part of me- which felt very simple in some ways to each part of me but also very predecided and trapped. Lately it's been more like you described between a lot of parts of me and I know a couple of us have experienced similar between parts of themselves. Like suddenly this vast array of multiple very different ways to think and see things and respond and be all exist as potentials on top of each other at the same time and it's both liberating and terrifying because the predecided feeling of there only being one "way" has changed to a much less limited range of options, but also now it feels like we have to be fully in charge of manually deciding each action for ourselves in every moment. Between us as a system, we don't seem to have that much connection yet, if we work hard to do it, some of us can share what we're feeling and seeing back and forth between us, but a lot of it still seems to rely on it being a conversation, which is still so much fucking better than it was it's cool. It feels more confusing between parts of myself, where I feel more integrated, than it is between several of us as different people where it almost feels clearer because of the divides.

@thisbetheverses

Ай бұрын

@@alittlespacetime the sensory overload of different senses from memories layered on top sounds, for me, like how I can experience some flashbacks. And it can be so. Fucking. Confusing. To work out which part of me or us is feeling and experiencing which thing (for one) then also which thing one or several of us are experiencing is happening now in the present, and which things are projected from the flashbacks (for another). We really relate to the experiences you describe and the complex, nuanced confusion of trying to discern which aspect is coming from who and when. For us, therapy is helping a lot, we hope time and therapy can help for you all too. I think somatic, trauma informed gestalt and mindfulness therapies are helping us to be able to connect more with our body which can help ground us to the present more and can help with the flashbacks. It's all very much a work in progress to untangle and understand.

@thisbetheverses

Ай бұрын

@@alittlespacetime we appreciate your comments and you sharing your experiences with us. Thank you.

@alittlespacetime

Ай бұрын

@thisbetheverses would like to reply with all sorts of smart things to say, but unfortunately, dealing with some bad shit at this moment. Hope you're doing well today.

@thisbetheverses

Ай бұрын

@@alittlespacetime there's never any rush or pressure. We're sad to hear you're dealing with some bad things. Sending hopes of support for you and hoping for comfort and resolution if possible as soon as can be.