Bert: my wife isn't impressed with me Also Bert: doesn't brush his teeth or shower

@barnoldwhv

4 жыл бұрын

But he earns. Be appreciative of what you get.

@whateverppl1229

4 жыл бұрын

I always thought showers where really important, It turns out I can stop taking showers if im rich.

@MrLeSa95

4 жыл бұрын

@@whateverppl1229 if you wanna be disgusting yeah

@easternyoo8701

4 жыл бұрын

LOL

@romanz9848

3 жыл бұрын

Also bert: obese, spits on toilet paper before wiping, eats boogers in front of wife, shits in front of wife. Bert's goal is to turn his wife OFF.

"This Is Just Gonna Get Racist" should be the name of Bart's next tour.

@ztbt

3 жыл бұрын

Bart?

@Typhoidlazzy

3 жыл бұрын

@@ztbt Yeah, you know...Bart Christmas.

@irishbearsfan12

2 жыл бұрын

Gonna be a bit Racey! Lmfao

@logo3992

Жыл бұрын

​@ASMRKebu😂

I strongly believe that Tom loves when other people suffer. It’s hilarious.

@tylerkelly9801

4 жыл бұрын

100%. Watch the podcast where dr drew is on it

@countdublevay7327

4 жыл бұрын

i like your usage of the word STRONGLY. i would have used TRULY but you've opened my eyes to a superior means of expression.

@prasun911

4 жыл бұрын

I mean who doesn't.. its fun to watch misery

@mikeyt2404

4 жыл бұрын

You must be a new mommy. Because thats why we come here bitch baby jeans

@joescarborough8434

4 жыл бұрын

The schadenfreude is strong with that one.

The wives should do a reaction channel where all they do is watch every episode of this

@joeyrusso47

2 жыл бұрын

This.

@michaelmontoya9372

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

@MumRah

Жыл бұрын

I showed this to my wife and some of his stand up specials and she said, "he's exactly like you except fat and rich."...... I don't know how to feel. lol

@adayinthelifeofqauvoanddon724

Жыл бұрын

@@MumRah I mean. At least you’re not fat 😂😂

The way Tom just casually keeps offering him stuff like chips and beer and eggs him on to say things is so evil it’s hilarious

When he said “have you heard about his fantasy about you being in a coma” I choked on my own spit laughing so hard😂

@larsonfamilyhouse

2 жыл бұрын

Oh no did your dentures fall out too?!

@seejewlatersheetdeek8777

2 жыл бұрын

@@larsonfamilyhouse was that supposed to be funny? Ur moms dentures fell out when she was blowing me last night

"I haven't laughed this hard in.." I'm pretty sure Bert says that every 4 days.

This is an eye opener for my marriage. I need to be more appreciative of my husband.

@MrSpeedyAce

4 жыл бұрын

Always be impressed even if you’re not. Just for the sake of being kind to eachother.

@adrianvazquez7493

3 жыл бұрын

Steak dinner and a blowy should doit

@loki_l_1380

3 жыл бұрын

I love this comment more than I could convey 😂

@user-mf5ok9zo5f

2 жыл бұрын

@@MrSpeedyAce No, that's fake, not kind

@everybodyisanidiot4553

2 жыл бұрын

@@adrianvazquez7493 A 5 mins enthusiastic HJ should be enough regarding married people.

Tom is definitely plotting to kill Jeans

@robertoj8296

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine how much ass gets thrown at him now. No offense to Tim, but if he was say, an accountant or something he'd be fucked lol

@jboylanvt

4 жыл бұрын

I think he is just going to convince her to meet up with some crazy tik tok, and things will just take care of themselves.

Bert: I just stopped showering. Tom: That's a good thing.

7:15 The way he laughs as he says “yes it is rape” is scary whilst bring hilarious

Tom is waiting for Bert. Bert walks in. Tom: hey what's up. Bert: oh yeah sure I'll have drink, thanks for asking.

I love how real Bert is. Seems honest. Or at least, I feel the version of himself he presents to the public seems like he's really being himself

@dadaseyi

4 жыл бұрын

I'm pretty sure it's close. I get the same feeling you do. That's just him.

I love that Bert compares his hypothetical grief to his wife dying to a character from the movie swingers.😂😂😂

Does this podcast end with Bert's marriage falling apart?

@biguprochester

4 жыл бұрын

I’m 100 percent certain Leanne has a fantasy of Bert dying in a plane crash and moving on with the grocery delivery boy.

@ruggerosmith1167

4 жыл бұрын

God willing

@BurnoutBushido

4 жыл бұрын

LeAnn can get cracked open and cleaned OUUTTTTT

@nklinef

4 жыл бұрын

Did this podcast begin with Bert’s marriage falling apart?

@larurentius

4 жыл бұрын

If Tom gets what he wants it ends with bert becoming a social pariah and being remembered as a racist

If you squint really hard this is a podcast with Tom Segura and a happy drunk Alex Jones

@CabbageSniffer

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad I found an Alex Jones comment on this random old video and I'm not crazy for thinking the same

The best part of their podcast is how often they cough, clear their throats and try to catch their breathe.

Tom is that "yeah I can keep a secret" meanwhile texting the person you're talking about kind of friend.

I just realized why Tom likes Bert so much. Bert’s life is that guy getting crushed by a car spread out over years and years. Tom is watching the slowest developing car crash ever.

Lmaooo “I definitely wanna die before my kids” Tom: “of course 🤦🏻”

You can tell by the background laugh that Bert is Nadav's favorite guest.

@tylito4764

2 жыл бұрын

Well he's THE guest

“Yeah, she can’t give consent” - hysterics!

@nationalsocialism3504

Жыл бұрын

That's why it's in the Living Trust... she already gives consent then.

Just in case liann doesnt see the podcast tom made a clip

I love how he trys to kill Bert with food

If I ever feel down I juts play a video of Bert laughing! Helps me everytime!! 💯👏

Bert chokes...tom: want some chips? Lmao

This deserves to be taken to the next level. Please, Christina, let's enjoy a conversation between you and LeeAnn, where you discuss your detailed fantasies of killing off your husbands, replacing them with new men.

@vibe_oli

4 жыл бұрын

Per Krook yes. I second this.

Leanne definitely is not going to be impressed that Brock said she needed to eat less.

damn coming back to this clip. for some reason these earlier 2b1c eps were so much better than the past year.

The guy laughing in the background makes it so much funnier

Made my day. Thanks dudes.

If Bert makes past 60 literally anybody can.

She’s impressed by her trainer 😉

Tom's face after Burt says he cant imagine living past 70 is the pinnacle of human comedy.

I love how this clip ends with "Let's shoot a porn!", such a cliffhanger.

It’s 4am and what a way to wake up. Love it. Thanks guys

2:43 when someone pulls out coke at a party

I don't know Bert's wife too well... Even if she's the coolest fkn person, dude might be sleeping in the dog house for awhile after this...

@biguprochester

4 жыл бұрын

The man cave looks pretty comfortable actually.

@dbzispimpin

4 жыл бұрын

Dude, Berts wife was on Dr Drews show a couple months back... she'd be fine with the coma story and all that... she's cool asf, like she may tell Bert behind closed doors to dial that crazy shit back a little, but I don't think she'd get mad at him, she knows he's a Comedian and all this funny is bringing them home bacon.

@ethanking4954

4 жыл бұрын

There's no way she watches this.

@Penguinssss

4 жыл бұрын

dbzispimpin Good fkn point. I'll check out that episode.

@dylanmorgan2752

2 жыл бұрын

Her husband is a successful comedian who appears to treat his family very well. Im fairly sure she’ll have thick southern skin.

The crew LOVES their job😂😂😂

Burt and I like to play this game. It's called, "Has Burt been in the sun alot or is his liver finally giving up?"

The people in the backround cackling is my favorite part

Tom wants to laugh way harder than he actually does! 🤣🤣

"God forbid..." - Bert's fantasy

Disliked by Bert’s wife

Best 2B 1C clip ever.

I got a little scared at 7:25 when they both started laughing and then coughing.

This is magic. Bert has no filter.

The guys cracking the fuck up in the backround is priceless

Oh shit I love it my ribs hurt from laughing 😂

WOW this one was dark I love it

Sleeping with your wife in a coma. LOL

Those guys laughing in the back, cracks me up...

I love Bert. In comedic conversations like this he’s just joyful and hilarious. His stand ups are still good but has their problems. 1. He laughs at his own jokes excessively and 2. His transitions aren’t the best. They’re almost too abrupt. Tom Segura is perhaps my most favorite comedian ever. His content, wit, somehow story bending all of the transitions together to make sense; are all top notch

God I love this fucking podcast, so glad I subscribed!!😀

fuck I haven't laughed this hard in ages either ! lol , thanks guys !

Bert looking extra crisp lol got that good tan spray going

"That's a real smile too" hahahaha :))

7:12 Had me crying hahahaha

"Bart Crasher" "Mom Plethura"

This episode is Tom trying to get Bert canceled and also murdered by his wife lol

Bert is going to manifest his nightmares

"You know how when you stop showering you stop brushing your teeth?" No Bert, I don't.

this was hilarious

My grandfather is 75 and going strong. I'm worried he may out live me and I'm only 20. He's doing just that well.

@421less1

4 жыл бұрын

Be sure to appreciate the fuck out of it man. Both of mine were the same way until they werent.

@Edelce

2 жыл бұрын

my grandma was a fucking bull at 86, got hit by a running car, she was able to walk again but it was never the same, i served 5 months for beating the shit out of that scum, still puts a smile on my face. Hear his stories man, love that old oak.

I really feel like Leann is only sticking around for Bart’s life insurance policy

70? I give Burnt 7 months tops.

@Huckabuck

4 жыл бұрын

Ruggero Smith Burnt 😂💀

I’m not saying my grandma is a burden but I’m saying she is-Bert🤣🤣🤣

I like it when Bart talks about death he should take his shirt off

If they were all like this one... they would all be great.

7:30 i laughted hard, but coldn hit the likey button-thingy

Drinking 20 beers and a gallon of kool aid a day I think will be lucky to have 5 years left of mileage on that liver lol.

Berts gonna be that dad at the house party his daughter is going to hitting the beer bong and embarrassing the shit out of her.

Tommy ~ are you bringing Bertie to Montréal?

I totally related to this

Counselling session starts 5:00

Yeah, and her dentures fell out 🤣

Bert is 100% not drinking coffee.

Freaking bert, omg the lawls

the pool is his shower and he doesn't brush his teeth anymore. bert is really just a child that never grew up with a high salary. so funny.

Bert looks a lot like Bert from Tom's music video in this thumbnail

@negativeindustrial

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, he does! 🤣

Great body, smart, strong, independent, dedicated, enamored, loyal, funny, into gaming, NON DRAMA, RIDE OR DIE! Four stroke fan, wants to try it out.

“You could Kiss a girl with those teeth and they’d not have to eat for 2 weeks” 🤣

I’m with ya Burt! The death thingy ,,, I’ve played dead numerous times,, and I’m sure my wife loves me lol…. Kinda

What episode is this?

and this is why bert sleeps in the dogs house

Nice 🤙

Watching this as Im eating cheetos puffs haha

The more video I see of Bert, the more I think we're being played. Is Bert the new Scary Perry?

I bet this conversation would impress her!!

Funny that on The Cabin his daughters complained about him not showering anymore since they have a pool.

Ron Livingston is the one that shows up to Favreaus apartment with juice and salami

So Bert, I'm totally cool with being impressed, spoiled, or flown around just for kicks and giggles. I too do not want a sexual relationship that would intrude on our core families, just one where I can openly weep in thankfulness of being spoiled. I live out in the middle of no where quite contentedly, but I'm up for adventure and it would be super easy to impress me considering the nearest city is 2 hours away. I'm available at least 1 week a month to be impressed and over the top thankful expressions of joy. Hear from you soon!

@negativeindustrial

3 жыл бұрын

You miss 100% of the shots you fail to take.

@bryanergau6682

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Sarah, this is Bert. This is my secret alternate account. I've always had a fantasy about one of my female fans sneaking backstage at one of my shows and hiding in my dressing room with a knife in her teeth. Hope to see you soon.

@notheothersarah

2 жыл бұрын

@@bryanergau6682 ah, Bert my soul mate, unfortunately you overestimate my ability to drop everything to fullfill your desire 🤣

Hardcore dummy for the second wife. I died

"I just started drinking water"

*Ron Livingston brings the Salami

Sounds like you guys need Mucinex as a sponsor. You guys sound like my uncle who only has one lung 😂.

9:50 lmfao

2:09

The last 4 words of this podcast came true believe it or not lmao

Fucking savage dam u Bert 😂😂😂😂😂