"Spood Foils."

@ronanmates7812

7 ай бұрын

This has to be my favourite slip I've ever heard.

@marybdrake1472

7 ай бұрын

😆

@M_Alexander

7 ай бұрын

I love it

@KamiKazeKayaK

7 ай бұрын

Beat me to it.

@coda821

7 ай бұрын

There is no ice in artificer. Art-i-fisser.

Ah yes, the classic new spellcaster pitfall: “Do I hit em’ with a cantrip or a powerful spell? Nah I got this” _Equips daggers with poking intent._

@Pandachu123

7 ай бұрын

Death of a thousand cuts! 🤣🤣🤣 *Poking intensifies*

@TheAusar

7 ай бұрын

I am allergic to warlocks using crossbows...

@Nr4747

4 ай бұрын

I had to do this sometimes in the past on some of my casters when I only had attack cantrips in early levels and was stuck in melee (no room to get away to savety with the disengange action) or when stuck in an anti-magic zone or a silence-zone. My casters usually start out with 14 DEX and 15 CON (point-buy), though, so it's not the end of the world to use a dagger on occasion.

Hello I'm the person from the first (non-intro) story and realized I forgot to mention: they referred to the dude with the minis dad as 'The Grand Wizard' who the Player was helping and why late which if I knew they better would have been funny/more ok but after basically making awkward small talk for HOURS it was..mm...also the girls he kept focusing on were high schoolers so that was a red flag. The new player and I both finished the session, exchanged looks with each other (we'd both played beforehand but not with this group and had a 'that just happened right?' discussion and both left the group as it wasn't a fit for either of us. I guess they finished it, per looking at the group..wonder how that went..

@Typewriterbird

7 ай бұрын

Additionally: not RP heavy, basically the 2+ hours late dude was the only Non NPC who attempted to RP

@B.-T.

7 ай бұрын

Seven hells, I'm afraid to ask how old the DM was.

@BrandonVout

7 ай бұрын

Dear God, "the Grand Wizard" is not a title you want to go around calling yourself. It has the same energy as the story with the dude who innocently called himself "involuntarily celibate" without knowing its other connotation.

@Typewriterbird

7 ай бұрын

@@BrandonVout Oh god I didn't even put those dots together, extra yikes. I was picturing more like oh haha Gandalf energy for the nickname but honestly anything is possible oof

@genericname2747

7 ай бұрын

Hmm. Yeah, big red flags. High Wizard is fine, but Grand Wizard is what those racists in their special little cloaks call the most specialist racist.

The real petrified cow fetus was the friends the dm made along the way.

Huh, my wizard has a sword. He even uses it occasionally. After he's out of spell slots. Of course he didn't get that sword until he was level eight, and he still can't use it well at level ten, but he has one!

That's the opposite experience I had with a magic item I'd homebrewed for my players - an orb of forgetfulness. Anyone attuned to the orb would be effectively invisible, as the moment you were out of eyesight the enemy had to roll a wisdom save to see if they remembered you were there. My rogue player decided he forgot to attune to the orb and never used it.

Abracadabra Box: How hard is it to say: “It doesn’t work”

The Petrified Cow Fetus. I guess he can have it, if he convinces me it is worth 1 GP (The secret is: He can’t convince me)

Third story, I thought at first the DM was setting things up so they could have their DMPC save the day and reap all the super good rewards, but instead it was just them not understanding everything, same with most of the players. Ignorance instead of malice.

@brendenhawley2225

7 ай бұрын

I understand the gm trying to save them, at the same time it kills tension, either way it ends badly. What was needed is for the gm to help advise the players with decent builds, a melee wizard can work well, bladesinger exists for that purpose, but heavens one needs a higher con than 10.

The melee wizard story amuses me because a player in my Barbarians Of Lemuria game made a complete weakling who still gets in melee... But a combination of his high defense stat (making him quite hard to hit) and his nigh-inability to hit means he ends up being mostly ignored during battles aside from the few lowly rabbles that try to hit him and miss.

“Artificer is too OP.” Welcome to a DM who is going to either give so few magic items that it’ll be like pulling teeth or who is really relying on that attunement cap because they can’t help themselves in giving out loot. I’m guessing that bringing that up at low level is gonna be the first.

God, the BG3 gag at the start. When I learned that enemies benefit from Karmic Dice the same way you do, and that it was THAT that was causing that… If you have Karmic Dice on, stacking AC and powers that impose Disadvantage on enemy attack will eventually cause them to just start throwing out crits by basketful

OP for the wizard story here. I thought you reading it would make it feel shorter - but it was +10 minutes! In hindsight, I should have discussed with the DM and the other players about the issues (more than I did), but I couldn't get over my first-time jitters. Still love your skits by the way, thank you for taking the time to make them!

If I had a magical chest like that I'd see if it could create keys for locked dors we came across. If not than have it create all the components for thieves tools for a spare set. You never know when something may cause a lockpick to break. ...gosh darn nat ones.

@Stephen-Fox

7 ай бұрын

Not sure what my current character would do with it in game. 1G is about an average month's wages, in the theoretical D&D economy that D&D campaigns just... Break painfully... Right? I can think of a lot of cool stuff that I might use to create IRL at that amount.

Something something algorithm, something something “certainly not minmaxing!”

"Spood Foils"

Nice to see my intro story lol, made me laugh with your reading of it

23:15 Session 0 Player Handout: 1. NO PETRIFIED COW FETUSES ALLOWED! 2... 😆

A good way to (try to) get around the "you're not going to be able to find spell components"-argument is to simply buy a component pouch. Every class can buy one and use it as a spellcasting focus and it's assumed RAW to contain any and all spell components that don't list a specific gold value automatically. So no, you don't actually have to roam the wilderness to find bat guano or ask around in 20 shops for molasses. The upside over using a different focus is that it's not restricted to spells from specific class lists and it can usually be worn on a belt, so you don't have to awkwardly drop your focus to do something else (for example, to cast spells using somatic components but not material ones, which RAW, you can't do with a focus in one hand if you're holding anything else in your other hand unless you have the Warcaster feat ).

Even as a complete newbie making my first serious character, I avoided falling into the True Strike trap. The wording of the spell is key, and I realised after a second, closer reading that I was better off taking other cantrips for my shiny new eldritch knight.

OP2's second party may as well be the true Highwind Party. Those first guys were more like the Break Wind Party.

I mean, I don't typically allow artificers because my games are more tenth-century British Isles, but with magic and monsters. So, limited technology

These make me appreciate bg3 so much for teaching me dnd basics because I ABSOLUTELY have attempted melee attacks with a decked out wizard

Intro story: Oof. Here’s hoping the party was understanding about this mistake! First story: Yeesh. One or two of those issues, I’d probably be fine, but all of them at once? After that session, I don’t think I’d want to play with that group again. Second story: Honestly, I kind of feel bad for everyone in that party. It sounds like they were all relatively new at this and didn’t really know how to play. Here’s hoping they all found better campaigns! Third story: Hey, look at that! A problem solved by communication! I love this group already!

19:22 Spood Foils

Why do people have an issue with Artificers all of a sudden? They are half-casters with an atrocious spell-list and average damage, whose best ability is to make a +1 magic sword to your fighter before you run into something with weapon resistance or immunity. They can get a pretty high AC, but then so can Paladins, Clerics, and Wizards. And I've never heard of a game being ruined by tool proficiencies. So what gives?

@BrandonVout

7 ай бұрын

Probably aesthetics. Some artificers get too steampunk-y for people.

@demetriopedrini8201

7 ай бұрын

​@@BrandonVoutabsolutly! I ban the class from my games for aestetic reasons, but also for a bunch of personal bad experiences with artificer players like: i'm gonna build try to build an aircraft with nukes every sessions, i'm gonna have modern technology, i'm gonna ask for guns than argue that with a gun is possible to shoot a bunch of times in 6 seconds or the bullets pass through armor so they should ignore AC or getting shot Is deadly so the gun should do at least 4d10 plus dex modifier. It is a personal experience but i have seen that 3 out of 4 artificers try those things constantly.

Lesson learned. Don't take a drink during Crispy skits.

Super chill group of stories. Was expecting the last one to be much worse.

@marybdrake1472

7 ай бұрын

Yeah, somehow that didn't happen. Thank Luna.

Good luck to the group in the last story with running Fool's Gold! Based on how they describe themselves it seems right up their alley, and I'm running it now as a DM and having a lot of fun!

The Wizard was probably trying to die. Sounds like he rolled low on stats and made the squishiest character possible so he could reroll asap.

@bossked1563

7 ай бұрын

I made a character like that. It was a meat-grinder campaign in a homebrew system, so all 4 of us started with 5 characters, planning on losing most (if not all) along the way. I rolled a character who had a 14 as his highest stat, 2 12s, and everything else 10s. So I named him Mr. Smith, made him a human fighter, and threw him into the front lines to tank for the party. The man. Would. Not. Die. I once made him jump into a horde of goblins to buy time for everyone else to reposition. He took 8 attacks, tanked them all, and successfully killed several of them before the healers RAN to his rescue (a pox on all of them lol). It didn't help that the GM loved his selflessness and gave him good gear; by the end of the campaign, he didn't have a stat below 20 and was arguably the most powerful PC in the group. I was a little miffed. XD

I have an Artificer in my brother-in-law's game, and we have a great time! He loves the class and so do I! We are currently working on a crafting system for temporary magic items i can make for the rest of the party!

Mildly related to a throwaway joke, but I actually grew up right where Leeroy Jenkins (the real guy, a scammy preacher who sold pool water as "holy water") did his work. Never met the guy but I love the fact his legacy is some WoW player.

Ooh running fools gold! I love that series so much

8:15 don't feel too bad about that Wizard. You're just clearing the debris from the gene pool.

The one good use of True Strike I've seen is the Warden's Spear from Baldur's Gate which gives a person True Strike on their next attack if they miss. I gave it to my monk.

Thanks 4 all the hard work.

Wizard prolly wanted to play Gandalf. There must be builds for that...

..."Where do people come up with these" - Err... OK, I know D&D and fantasy has a tendency towards ridiculous names, but Abracadabrus is a play on Abra Cadabra, a pair of magic words so common that there are Pokemon named after them. There might be a deeper pun to it, I'm not great on names of storage furniture (I literally only know the name armoire due to 8 Bit Theatre) but... Yeah that's... Abra Cadabra with the final a replaced with us.

another really funny video great job!

True strike was better in Pathfinder, because there were situations where having a +10 to hit every other round was preferable to making a normal hit every round, like fighting monsters with very high ACs or doing trick shots. But with 5E's advantage system, having advantage every other round is the same but worse as making a normal attack every round, because you're still rolling two dice every two rounds, but only get one round's worth of damage if you hit. The only situation where I could see it being useful, rules as written, is preparing for a surprise round, and that's not a common enough situation to be worth the cantrip slot. There's ways to fix it with house rules, though, like making it a bonus action or making it castable on other creatures.

Spood does indeed foil

BG3 be like 80% to hit *misses 3 in a row*

8:10 trues strike should really be a bonus action

1:00 short only some what related thing but this reminded me of the fact that i had a easier time killing the chosen of the lord of bones and necromancy then i did killing around four of the lizard people (sorry no idea how to spell the race name) (also note these were the lizard guards in the artifact)

That last story... I want to know why, but at the same time, I _don't_ want to know why.

I don’t know how other groups do it. I’ve been in many campaigns but not a single one actually ended up with a name if I recall. Oh we tossed around a few and one nearly got its own (we were still in discussions about it and had narrowed it down to two before scheduling conflicts iced the campaign). But yeah, I have literally never been in a campaign before where the party got a name.

I keep hearing about how my favorite class in dnd, artificer, is too over powered… like what is so op about it? Sure they can made magic items but if you go hardcore rules as read, they can’t make anything too crazy. Plus bags of holding are useful.

The RotFM story has me a little sad, lol. My own party found that item and were enjoying it for a bit. We actually are just about to go inro the final battle! Or, we were. The game is, more or less on Indefinite Hiatus. Scheduling conflicts between jobs and schooling for my group, and one player was having some issues, and dropped out (we’re unsure if Permanently or not, which is why it’s been effectively on Hiatus, if not just ending without the final battle). Glad that the group stuck together in that story, even with the case of, less than great behavior lol.

He was upset about the spells available to Artificers?! You can count the damaging spells they can cast on your fingers, and they’re only half casters.

There are ways to make pretty effective melee caster characters, which makes the story of this wizard all the more frustrating.

A played a wizard with a sword. It was an old githyanki, so they had proficiency in great swords and medium armor, but still

AMITY STAFF SPOTTED

my new sorcerer (session zero yesterday >w

Why are Artificers considered OP? Is it because of the Replicate Magic Item infusion? If so, I feel like it would be way easier to just ban that infusion specifically, rather than the entire class.

Yeah, I always thought true strike is a waste of a centrio slot. You can't cast in on yourself in rules as written but even if you do, it mostly useless. It only (might) be useful if you could use it as a swift action and attak in the same turn.

Crispy, are you looking forward to Crooked Moon? i think you'll enjoy the new Plagueborn race

I’ve never really understood the stigma of “if you ban X you are a bad GM cause you can’t balance properly” Last I checked the point of D&D is for *everyone* to have fun and if the DM doesn’t have fun having to craft encounters to challenge only one of the players then why be mad at him. It’s like me getting salty cause you don’t like to play a Druid or something “wow you must just suck at building a Druid and we are going to force you to play one”

That is why I don't use True Strike in Baldur's Gate 3. Unless you're casting it on an ally, it's useless.

For the Petrified Cow Fetus, I would have the cleric roll Religion to convince a God of Commerce that the market value of said fetus would be at or below 1GP.

Sorry… I just really enjoy the fact I can be an artificer irl. The 3D printer is cool

Second story sounds like the wizard and monk tried to optimize fun out of the game.

If you want to be a spellcasting melee fighter… that’s… that’s literally the entire point of eldritch knight/college of swords… Just play those?

"Certainly not min-maxing"

My path to DM hood Buy the DMG Never open it ??? Profit

An entire adult cow is only worth 10gp so a useless fetus really wouldn't cost more than 1gp. I wouldn't want to give it to a player either but the price is reasonable if you really needed it for some weird reason.

Can someone explain what's wrong with the cow fetus. Is the joke that he's going to do something inappropriate with it and that's what wrong? I'm a little confused here.

You mention that they aren't a good DM if they can't balance around Artificer, but don't you ban Aarakocra because you can't balance around it

Did the wizard play The Immortal and decided a wizard can totally handle melee battles??

@flaminyawn

7 ай бұрын

Having *attempted* to play that game, I would assume they'd learn the opposite lesson.

They are gonna run Dingo Doodles module?! ^_^

What a ripoff!! Having a Vorpal Sword at 3rd level woulda been great! 😭

Lmao I made a damage mistake on the first game I dm'd and I think it said 7(2d8 +6) and I did pemdas like it wad a math equation

Certainly not mid maxing. I'm just mid.

Can someone explain to me how Artificer is Overpowered? You’re just a half caster with a large amount of magic items and the ability to occasionally ad your intelligence modifier to a check or save. Your not really any more of a threat than any other class unless the DM gives you way too much downtime in game.

How... the f***... is ARTIFICER overpowered?!? I mean, sure... all of the subclasses are good at some kind of party role in some way (with the Alchemist kind of a lackluster support), but how is that OP? You literally have full-casters who can bend reality to their will, while Artificer barely gets half of that ability... quite literally! They are half-casters! Honestly? I think the DM just saw some of the spells (ones that other casters can get at earlier levels, BTW) and didn't even bother doing research. That or he was just a dingus.

I feel a little silly, but what is the issue with the petrified cow fetus? It's a little strange, sure, but I wouldn't say it'd make me uncomfortable. Is this a me being weird thing or is there something behind the petrified cow fetus im not aware of?

@genericname2747

7 ай бұрын

I think they're just grossed out

Just play pathfinder, true strike gives +20 to hit

Certainly not min-maxing. =)

It may just be me (I've been having ear conditions recently) but I feel like music is too loud compared to your voice

CERTAINLY NOT MIN-MAXING ...

Certainly not min-maxing

Yeah the whole to hit/attack roll/damage roll, is worded atrociously. They should use language that can't mean both landing and damage. Like landing, or connect, instead of fucking hit.

CRISPY ARE U GONNA BE AT PAX UNPLUGGED??

@CrispysTavern

7 ай бұрын

It's a convention. Conventions have people. So no.

Why all the hate for petrified cow fetuses? :/

Certainly not min-maxing.

I'd say banning artificers is understandable (even necessary) if you're not playing with "standard" magic item types or rarity. Unless the artificer is aware of this and OK to not be able to use the ability to create facimilies of magic items. It definitely would need to be flagged well ahead of game, though.

First

That's not being unoptimal. That's not caring about your own builds in the slightest. Learning the basics of how a class works comes BEFORE creating your own playstyle

"Spood Foils"

"Certainly not min-maxing"

Certainly not min-maxing