I think the #1 thing to remember regarding BJJ gyms and how “friendly” they are is the number of people who join and attend for only 1-3 months. People don’t want to invest in relationships that are temporary. It has been my experience that you will earn those relationships when you have proven that you are committed to the gym.

@bullfrogjay4383

2 жыл бұрын

Excellent point

@Glonk_Respecter

2 жыл бұрын

This was my first thought as well.

@humblemumble1591

2 жыл бұрын

True, go with the flow but maybe a little effort might mean they will make the longer term commitment because now they have a few friends at the gym

@timphanyswimchester1227

2 жыл бұрын

BJJ is hard so I say be as welcoming as possible to encourage people to stay.

@kennythegoddess4341

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I just started at my gym 6 months ago and its very true. I kind of figured it out though in the first month because I work a job with a very high turnover rate and its high pace so I won't bother to get to know my coworker until a couple months in.

Yes, a family. When my daughter was diagnosed with stage four cancer they held a fundraising seminar for her, and they flew in someone from California to teach it. Love them all.

@Chewjitsu

2 жыл бұрын

❤️

I'm glad the gym I joined truly practices the "when you join, you're family" because when I joined everyone offered to roll with me (white, blue, and purple belts) and the brown and black belts never walk around with a toxic ego. It's the reason why I love jiujitsu

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Awesome we need to hear more from your Journey :-)

@williamlang1218

2 жыл бұрын

I like your word usage here “toxic ego”. I’ve seen this “toxic ego” in multiple black belts and I don’t like it because Jiu-Jitsu is supposed to humble you and to me having a “toxic ego” is like a “I’m better than everyone else attitude” and I don’t think that’s right, because respect is a two way street. This reminds me of an old saying “Attitudes are contagious, is your attitude worth catching?”

@fredcharlotte

2 жыл бұрын

@@williamlang1218Unfortunately Jiu-Jitsu is just like anything else in the world; it's full of humans and some are really fantastic people and some are really assholes. Some hang around long enough to be black belts who are really fantastic people and some are black belts who are really assholes.

If you’re getting turned down for rolls it’s usually because you’re too wild and no one wants to get knees to the face while rolling with you.

@reesyman8354

2 жыл бұрын

Either that or others egos get the best of them and they don’t want to get tapped by a white belt.

@joejitsuway960

2 жыл бұрын

@@reesyman8354 I think white belts tell themselves that's the reason. I don't think that's ever the real reason. We've had NCAA wrestlers and white belt worlds winners at our gym that can beat a ton of colored belts. I don't think I've ever seen anyone refuse a roll with them. When I turn down rolls with white belts it's because I don't feel like having an MMA match on the mat with them 100% of the time. I can see how they might easily interpret that as I'm scared they will beat me. The idea of winning and losing in training should be out your brain by the time you are a colored belt anyway.

@TJ-vl1ff

2 жыл бұрын

We have this 220lbs white belt in my gym who rolls as if he's in a life or death situation, breathing spastically, smashing you in the face etc. Given his size he actually smashes allot of people including me. I obviously have no issue with getting tapped but I am done rolling with someone like that. Our trainer also doesnt say anything about it. I dont want to be the guy complaining about it.

@JamesBrown-

2 жыл бұрын

@@joejitsuway960 they don’t out and out refuse a roll but they avoid eg look the other way to protect their egos sometimes

@LightPhoenix7000

2 жыл бұрын

If it were once or twice, I could see it being a wariness/trust thing of a new white belt to the gym. If it's happening constantly it's not cliques, it's definitely because of you and your actions on the mat. Flailing white belts going 150 percent on the mats is a great way to get injured and it's better to just avoid them.

If something feels off it's because it is. Trust that feeling. I was in a similar situation where I constantly made excuses for people thinking it was just me being awkward or misinterpreting. No. My gut was correct. Some places only care about how things appear and things don't get better as you progress. If training begins to not be fun anymore I would shop for a different gym.

Been at my gym little less than a year, I love the community that came with this sport.

I don't know about other gyms but the one where I train everyone is pretty close. Not like a family but like everyone is good friends and everyone is chill.

@nickallen8333

2 жыл бұрын

We are very close at my gym. We get to know each other on a level that even the people in our everyday life don’t even get to know us on. It’s nothing but hard work, respect and embrace.

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

This sounds great, I would love to know what is your special receipt to achieve this...

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

@@nickallen8333 awesome to hear!

@nickallen8333

2 жыл бұрын

@@JSMinstantcoaching I think it’s just the hard work. Going in almost everyday no matter how you feel and just grinding. You build that mutual respect and through all the struggles you bond.

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

@@nickallen8333 makes perfect sense :-)

For me, we get so many people come and go, it gets hard to learn people's names but we all try to be as inviting as possible so we can increase retention. Coming up in taekwondo as a kid, we were always encouraged to get to know the black belts around us but to also be extremely respectful of their time. Whenever I roll with a new white belts, I set some more focused rules before the roll, making it more like a higher resistance drill of the days techniques than a full open roll

@kennythegoddess4341

2 жыл бұрын

As a new white belt I would 100% prefer this, sometimes people ask me to roll and I just feel like I am so lacking in technique that it just feels pointless. I mean I am learning from it somewhat and I enjoy it, but there is no way a blue belt is getting any practice against me.

I think it just takes a while. Lots of schools have a high turn over, stick around, be friendly and respectful and people will open up. Stick at it.

@timphanyswimchester1227

2 жыл бұрын

High turnover is important though or else we'd never get to practice on the fresh meat.

Always love these rambling videos about social dynamics, you reinforce my anecdotal evidence, that in order to be a good coach you have to be a good psychologist aswell.

@graciescottsdale

2 жыл бұрын

It absolutely helps.

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely yes :-)

I definitely noticed that at the first gym I trained at, some guys wouldn't even talk to you as a white belt. At the new place I train the instructor chooses who rolls with who so there isn't the situation when someone won't roll with someone else. Unless they are injured and just want to drill in which case they don't roll with anyone or very occasionally they'll roll with an experienced guy for a gentle flow roll.

You are my favorite Jiu Jitsu youtuber 🤙🏿💪🏿 always make great videos and give out great advice.

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Well, I think I am not that bad too :-), lol chewjitsu is awesome!!!

It can be so difficult when you're new. I went to an open mat at a new gym and everyone seemed to be in pairs. I eventually got to roll with someone and when they saw I wasnt a spaz everyone else rolled with me. A really good 3 hours, enjoyed every minute

Gyms have a certain amount of student turnover, people who find out they don't the close contact, etc. It does get hard learning names of people who only stay a week or two, but you notice when people start to come over months instead of weeks, and it's easier to assume they will stick at it, and you will want to build a relationship with a future training partner. Great video Chewy 💪🔥🔥

Fantastic advice as usual. Thank you.

I love the academy I joined. Truly feels like a family. My first day I rolled with a black belt and introduced myself. He replied, “I don’t learn any white belts name until they get their blue belt.” As of November 2021, he finally called me by my name lol

@louisholland3057

2 жыл бұрын

Thats just weird regardles of the social setting. Nowhere would you respect that answer. Imagine someone responded like that if you introduced yourself at school, the gym,in a shop or anywhere else.

@timphanyswimchester1227

2 жыл бұрын

We had a purple belt who used to do that. He'd just call us all ' white belt ' . It was good natured hazing .

@aperezBJJ

2 жыл бұрын

@@louisholland3057 you’re absolutely right. He’s kind of a weird guy. Real matter of fact. I’d never say that if the roles were reversed. His rationale is there’s just too much turnover with new white belts. I get it now that I’m seeing it first hand. He’s been seeing it for over 15 years.

@humblemumble1591

2 жыл бұрын

I'm a white belt and I can understand it. It's fighting, sure measured and made to be as safe as possible but fighting itself is brutal and can be very damaging to the ego. We're all in bjj to learn to control our ego, part of that is to toughen up to be ready to fight. I look at it like if you want to make friends show them through how hard you work how much you love bjj. I played other sports all my life. With the most in football and basketball, I'd always give younger kids a free pass to be themselves and show me how much they work on their game, if they weren't very coordinated buy played hard, they had my respect. It's the ones who act like they are too good for you that piss me off. If a black belt wants to be buddy buddy with the other black belts and be standoff is with me, I look at like I have a chance to show him if I even care about bjj or not. If I want respect I can always go to another thing that I'm good at, martial artists should be well rounded anyway.

@louisholland3057

2 жыл бұрын

@@aperezBJJ perhaps more politeness would help bring the number of drop outs down! I am at a very competitive club where the turnover is pretty big. Lots of intro classes and I guess half way intro the 10 weeks maybe 30 percent is already gone. However i have heard several guys say they feel like its a factory and not a club. The good thing about a gym is that the new guys stick together in the beginning. I was 35 when I started so i guess i knew what to expect. People have friends,careers, families etc already and so do I. What ive experienced is that naturally if you show up regularly and the coach sees that you become a regular they start to act differently. Like people said here already. You dont necessarily open up to people fast. Quite natural really. However you should always be polite, show good manners and try to make new people feel welcome. Thats what people of good character do regardless of the situation or setting.

thanks for the video chewie

Thank you so much for the content man rly appreciate

I think some of this comes down to the drastically smaller BJJ/MMA community in Scotland, but I've literally never been turned down for a roll, never turned down another person, and there's never been a stigma attached to lower belts "challenging" higher belts. It's a really nice tight-knit but really welcoming community we have here, and people know each other and train across multiple different gyms and coaches (because there's only a few in my area), and either the bad eggs have been booted out, or aren't attracted to this community. Everyone is sound and there's a real emphasis on the destruction of ego and making sure it's a friendly environment for everyone.

love your vids! you help me so much i appreciatte youu!

I'm a very introverted guy, but I love jiujitsu, I have no problem rolling in Jiu-Jitsu, my only biggest problem is having a conversation with someone, even asking someone to partner up with me is a big task on my part, cuz I had that mentality, "what if I get rejected then I ended having no partner" everyday at our class that's what I deal, the dojo I joined is cool I love it, but it's just me a introverted guy who must adjust to a conversational situation on my peers in the class is the problem, I don't show it, I act like normal, I smile, I laugh, but deep inside I'm nervous to even talk, but hey I still manage to wedge myself into the group of my class, then later I have fun rolling and laughing even if I fail lol

Got my blue belt last Tuesday. Thanks for the content and help along the way Chewie.

@Chewjitsu

2 жыл бұрын

Happy to help!

@booksforprogress5307

2 жыл бұрын

That is awesome. Keep up the good work

At least i chose this family..90% of my actual extended family suck

Love your examples!

I typically never roll or spar with newer guys, I will hold pads and drill the techniques with them. But I feel when you're sparring or rolling, you both have a responsibility for your health and your partners health, there needs to be trust. Newer guys are too green and most don't understand that being a good/safe training partner is a skill.

@graciescottsdale

2 жыл бұрын

Well said.

@JSMinstantcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Being a good partner is a skill, this is so well said :-) thank you

@timphanyswimchester1227

2 жыл бұрын

Rolling with a spazy white belt is training for the streets .

I’m happy to be a part of a family gym, I couldn’t imagine going to one of those schools that treat black belts like gods instead of instructors and teammates.

Yeah I wouldn't take it personally, it's either that you're know to roll too rough or they haven't seen you roll so they don't want to risk getting hurt or they don't feel like they can tap you and don't want to look bad in front of others or they have other reasons that are personal to them not specific to you, just don't take it personally

Hey chewie, can you make more videos of you rolling with your students? I find those really enjoyable. Thanks

I like how you laugh when you're recalling an experience, you remind me of my cousin. lol. IDK if the gym is like a family but it's similar. You make life long relationships for sure. I'm still in touch with my martial arts gym mates from childhood because we were a heavy competition team, traveled together etc. So in some ways yeah.

Why does chewwy just speak pure facts

This encapsulates an experience I recently had. I’m a no-stripe white belt who’s been quite welcomed by the school I joined and only once had a higher (purple) belt go out of their way to not acknowledge me. I took it personally at first but then realized the ratio of welcoming to not-so-much was overwhelmingly in the welcoming column, while also accepting that I’m the newest member of this “family”. Most still haven’t learned my name to memory yet. In time, I will know whom out of these many personalities will become a friend, acquaintance or simply a passerby. Besides, we’re there to train. Socializing will be a extended result of the reason why we’re there in the first place.

@nicks1169

2 жыл бұрын

Good comment, I’m into my 2nd week now and I’m thinking the same. Hope you are still at it 👍

I'm autistic and am very thankful I go too a small gym where we all have to roll with each other. If I had to ask everyone and people were cliqued up and unfriendly I would of quit.

I understand exactly what you are referring to. You feel like the odd man out or the guy without a partner. You hear family all the time with jits. Unfortunately, that may not be the case at least initially.

this video is up right at the exact moment i need it, ive had lifelong insecurity issues with others, im in a new gym and the higher belts who all seem to have it together and are much more experienced seem to be giving me the white belt treatment, im 35 so its hard to adjust to bjj and just want to get along and i want to be in the group.

@paprika5487

2 жыл бұрын

Hope it all works out for you. You don't need their respect and shouldn't feel obligated to earn it. If they are giving you the "white belt treatment", that just tells me that they have not learned much while going up the ranks.

@humblemumble1591

2 жыл бұрын

@@paprika5487 I think it's also partly to do I'm being shy in social interactions, theres a few dudes there who came right up and introduced themselves, another white belt there is pretty quiet too, I appreciate when they make effort but if they don't I'm OK with not taking it personally, we're all there to learn not socialize.

@OldManTony789

2 жыл бұрын

They’ll welcome you with open arms soon

Where I train everyone was super warm and welcoming and have a great relationship with the owner. Im also there 4-6 times a week so im very frequent and open with everyone and was never the typical spaz whitebelt

I think the relationships will be built over time! It's a process to gain the trust of people💪🏾

Hey Chewie! I finally started with bjj thanks to your videos. I´m in my 2nd week now and allready have my Gi and all the rest and I love it to bits! I just really regret that I didnt start earlyer. HOWEVER: I´m a constuction site manager and I move around every half year or so to a new project and stay there until its finished. Is that a disadvantage or do I might get better because I will change gyms regulary? I´m on a job right now and this group was so friendly and open that Its allready hard for me to think about moving on in a half a year or something. Love your videos! Stay safe! Cheers!

Had this same feeling after starting muy Thai with my son. Felt like people didn’t like us. We’re a African American family living in Germany (Airforce). So I had a lot of nervousness and worry especially for my boy not as much me I’m used to new environments and such and but still also was a bit anxious. But after only a couple days I started to see him making friends and having a good time. He speaks German too so it’s good. Same for me tho after a few days people stated remembering my name lol and alot of the more experienced guys will spar with me now and give me tips and pointers on how to improve.

in our gym we always look that the new ones always get some a bit more experienced person ^^ , so that they don't get smashed an unmotivated..., so we are very open and welcoming :D hugs from munich

the vast majority of gyms they are family when they need something and "it's a business" when you need something...

My gym is friendly n I like that. If u r going to be around people 4-5 days a week you do end up being pretty chill..

Just one thought that is pretty general across Martial Arts training. There are lots of new students who turn up, train for a few weeks and then go. I can understand people not wanting to invest much time in people who may be gone next week. Its not my mindset - I like meeting people - but I can totally understand it.

I sometimes feel bad as a beginner because all i do is get choked out most of the time. Then I listened to a Danaher interview where he recommends that advanced belts spar as much as possible with beginners, so they get to perfect their techniques. So I realized that it's good that higher belts can have easy rolls with me so that they get to work on the subtleties of techniques that they are working on. So I try to keep showing up, on the assumption that after 6-12 months it will start being more fun.

I hate, hate, hate the "we are like a family" mentality in martial arts schools...when it's not earned and it's just a concept they keep hammering on you. Personally, I train because I want to learn BJJ, not because I see it as a way to socialise. If that happens then wonderful, but please don't make it a prerequisite or a state of mind I am forced to internalise.

@davidmickles5012

2 жыл бұрын

Check them out before joining. I agree with you about this 100%, and the gyms and dojos that I've studied at (I now teach privately only btw) were let's just say, very serious places. Such gems are pretty rare these days. Now of coarse I'm talking about self defense dojos and not BJJ gyms per se. BJJ comes out of an actual FAMILY (Gracie) tradition within a very family friendly culture (Brazil) so it has a different flavor in general to its gyms. Personally, I sought out and eventually found a place that was very challenging, even just to walk in for class😉, but we're talking about decades ago.

@terrynichol577

2 жыл бұрын

I agree with this 100%, love this comment. I'm pretty much a super introvert, and a four-stripe purple belt, not that that really matters, but I realize some people look surprised if I'm in the mood to spark a conversation, usually about Jiu-Jitsu and what happened during our roll or something. But yes, I'm definitely not there to socialize, I'm there to do jiu-jitsu and if conversation pops up with something sure lol. At the same time I don't want people to think I'm too good or anything, just the way some of us are built

@timphanyswimchester1227

2 жыл бұрын

I use BJJ to get my human needs met. I'm a touch on the spectrum and very introverted so I like BJJ because I can socialise without too much conversation . If it wasn't for BJJ , I'd interact with no one .

@zerobomb0

2 жыл бұрын

Ours hammers the creed "leave your ego at the door" The family part is real and never preached. I was shocked to be accepted as I am. It didn't happen overnight, so it's not fabricated at all

@terrynichol577

2 жыл бұрын

@@timphanyswimchester1227 I like your style haha

It is like family at my son's gym. Very very tight knit and an amazing performing academy in a competition level as well. We got lucky.

Hey chewy! What’s your opinion on nogi only schools as a beginner?

“That’s my government name... nick.” You kill me man! That was hilarious!

I’ve been watching studying your videos for couple months and I never noticed your bump on your head until i saw the picture in the background then I noticed it on your head 👀 what’s the story behind that @chewy??

Of the 2 gyms ive been at , 1 of the coaches always asked the vets of the gym to train with new people tho at this gym we have tiered classes so Intermediate classes are offered and thats when we can interact with those we know. The other coach said one of his humbling experiences was he was told to roll with a white belt and was being cocky and he got told to submit this new white belt with a omoplata 3 times, so if you are rolling with someone new you need to pick something you are bad at and hit it multiple times. Tho i get training with new people might not be ideal when training for a comp.

My gym: American Top Team: Team Lima has the best “family “ type structure ever. We can beat the heck out of each other, push each other to the limit, yet the love is real. We have a biblical frase on our wall that says”Iron sharpens iron”. That is what we do. We sharpen each other to bring each other to our goals. The camaraderie is for real there! The masters are all there for you no matter what.

My gym(s) Alliance in SC, Team Caique in AK) was and are very welcoming, but I find it normal that any new person (especially a white belt) isn't just going to roll with everyone. This is largely because as a low level white belt people are especially hesitant to find out too late that you're a spaz and going to hurt them.

I've been involved with martial arts for over 40 years and I can't think of a school I've trained in that had a rule that you aren't supposed to talk to higher belts. On the other hand, I have heard of traditional Japanese "masters" who behaved that way. But not in US schools. And BJJ? I haven't heard of it (in my admittedly limited experience). I'd definitely look for a new gym...

When I started 6 months ago everyone was friendly but not really friends with me. It took months of showing up every single day for the higher belts to start to recognize I wasn't just there to be a goof ball I wanted to learn and get better. I don't really have anyone above purple ever ask to roll with me but I'm fine with getting crushed by purple, fighting the blues and practicing specific moves on other white belts.

I think a regular gym has similar culture. I've lifted my whole life and the people that aren't in their regularly are basically invisible. If someone's hitting it, pushing themselves, using equipment the right way and respectfully, etc, then after 6 months-1yr you know who the regulars are and you at least give each other head nods as you see each other and at any point you can just start talking since you're "earned that" and respect their consistency. When I've moved and started over at a new gym, I didn't try to talk to anyone for 6months-yr or so and then I knew all the regulars and they knew me, started getting the nod from everyone and so we would start talking here and there, but didn't bother before I was cemented in as a "real one". All the casuals that walk in & out, there isn't a point to talking to them for the most part, you're likely not seeing them for much longer so adding minutes to the gym that will be taken out of your workout or family time just isn't worth it.

My first gym was clicky but my new gym is a much more inviting place for new people to come and train

Nobody ever told me this but I feel like there's a soft "two-belt rule" that's helped me avoid awkwardness. When I was a white belt, I generally felt comfortable asking white, blue, and purple belts to roll. I now have my blue belt, and I feel more comfortable asking brown belts to roll. I'm specifically talking about initiating rolls with people that i dont know super well. If someone of any belt asks me for a roll i always say yes unless im actively injured.

I'm the guy at my gym who's tapped to roll with all the new white belts who come in. You never know what you're going to get with a new white belt off the street, or even from another gym, but by watching them roll with me, our teacher can get a pretty good idea of their level and “spaz” factor. I think I'm the guy for this because of everything Chewey is talking about: I'm a bigger guy, but not so big as to be intimidating, I'm old enough to put my ego in the back seat but young enough not to have too many chronic injuries, and my game focuses on slowing everything down and gently crushing people.

That's a bummer that this person was dealing with this. My gym is very open and friendly. I made sure to introduce myself to everyone I could on the first day, and I do the same when I see a new face in the gym, but I have definitely been there before where it feels like people don't want any part of you. Just don't take it personally and give it some time. If the gym really is that closed off and cliquish, it's probably not a place worth spending your time. Find another gym.

As a white belt I typically try to let the upper belts approach me because I know they might be working on their own curriculum. If we're getting ready for belt tests or there's a competition, I don't even think about trying to roll with them because I know they need to focus on their own work. That said, our upper belts are awesome people and are almost always willing to roll with new people and mentor them unless Coach asks them to do otherwise, which is very rare, but there's always a reason for it.

I am a 50 year old purple belt with shoulder and elbow injuries, I will drill with newer white belts until I get to know them and then see where it goes from there.

My gym is chill and inviting. Everybody is nice and polite.

Facts. I'll roll with anyone twice. If during the second roll I have to deal with elbows and finger twisting or slams then it's black-list time for the guy who can't roll chill. If I'm looking for a death match I'll go compete or tell one of my trusted bros I've known for years I'm looking for some higher intensity rolls. t. old guy

My gym was really welcoming. If they had that rule where you can't talk to black belts I'd simply leave. I'm not gonna put myself In an environment where im made to feel like a peasent because someone has trained for longer.

Every school I've attended I've become pretty close to everyone. My current school is ran by my boy, who is like family, so it definitely helps as far as environment is concerned.

Being a white belt, i'm familiar with the feeling I have noticed that some of the guys don't want to roll with me and it's ok. At the beginning I was a little too aggressive,....maybe, but I tune it down, Now I'm not aggressive at all but at the end of the day, I'm an strong old man and my cardio in on point . What i have noticed is the some of the guys just don't want to roll because they don't have the strength to handle me the way they want. 6'2" 212lbs....I close the distance and play the defense game, not really trying to submit anyone and some of the guys are not afraid to say " you are strong " , we laughed and continue but some others just put the frustration face on and don't roll with me anymore. It's okay just enjoy, learn and don't give up.

I generally avoid rolling with newer white belts, I'll wait until I've seen them around for 6 months or so just to try and avoid unnecessary injuries. I've rolled with brand new white belts who've immediately jumped on my knee and tried to rip it off and know of other guys who've been permanently injured by spazzing white belts. That said, I always try and make people feel welcome at our club, give them a run down of some of the unspoken rules, etc. Everyone is welcome at our gym but injuries not so much.

I’ve gone to martial arts chain gyms and it wasn’t really, more like a commercial gym where you go in and do your thing and leave. I went to a smaller gym and the atmosphere would be “family” kind of thing

I don't know. At my gym colored belts tend to be pretty tight probably because it takes most people on average a couple of years to get their blue belt so you're going to get pretty familiar with everyone from just going in to the same joint 2 or 3 times a week. I mean it's pretty much a club with in club where you basically start off as a white belt when you finished grading and you're waiting for the couch to give the go ahead for your blue belt. The thing is if you're a white belt you probably don't want to roll with a blue belt because they're just going to use stuff you're not familiar with against you anyway.

I believe this is a daily reset..atmosphere and vibration...you need to read the day.

"that's my government name" 😂😂😂

Yeah when there’s a new white belt it’s always watch and see you never know if you’ve never rolled but people don’t want to life or death roll usually which is the only way new white belts know how to roll

This is a real problem in a lot of jits gyms, and people don't like to admit it. We love to talk about how Jiu Jitsu is for everyone and it's the most practical martial art for self defense and kinda look down on people who don't do it, but also we don't always make the (rather minimal) effort to make it welcoming to new people. Say hi. Introduce yourself. Give them one roll (if you feel safe doing so) after class. It costs 3-5 minutes usually. Then introduce them to someone else who you know is a friendly face and move on with your training. Yeah, there's a ton of turnover in white belts so we don't want to "invest too much time in them," but we don't have to take them on as sidekicks and learn their life stories. Just say hi, help them feel like they're part of what everyone else is doing. It's a nice thing to do, and also there will probably be slightly less turnover if that's part of your gym culture.

My gym is very welcoming. I think new people always get a lot of opportunity to train with a lot of people. Some people like to stick to certain other people, but they're not mean about it, and they don't run the gym culture or anything.

People are pretty close in our gym as well, but no one is excluded (which is nice to see), however, there is at least 1 person i won’t roll with again (at least for a while) as he’d repeatedly kicked me in the knee even after me noting & warning him. Incidentally, this is the knee i had MPFL reconstruction surgery on only 2-3 months ago, and is still not 100% healed, stiff and still quite painful it in the wrong position, or say, kicked…

In my gym I'm just now starting to get to know everyone and everyone is getting used to see me

Dialing down the spaz never hurts for white belts (and even some other belts) looking for rolls.

It took about 8 months for more experienced people to be more alright about rolling with me. Like, fair enough but also that was quite a lonely time 🤷 It was what it was.

As a blue belt thats has delt with some injuries and has a rbf sometimes i feel like the new guys thing im rude and don’t like them but i always try to smile and be nice and if they ask to roll ill usually politely say no and explain its beca of my injury

Cliques*... Love the channel.

@Chewjitsu

2 жыл бұрын

I know. Editor messed it up. I posted it before I noticed it was wrong. You damn grammar nazis can't help yourselves.

@chuckchuck49

2 жыл бұрын

@@Chewjitsu it's almost a reflex tbh

honestly if a martial arts teacher would tell me that i'm not allowed to talk to higher skilled practitioners i would tell him to fuck off and never step foot in that gym again. i started muay thai when i was 12 and a lot of what i learned was passed onto me by the more experienced older guys, and belive you me without them pulling me aside after the sparring and telling me what i did wrong or what i could improve i wouldn't have stayed there 10 years. a martial arts gym is not a family, it's a team and being a team means working for each other weather your partners are more or less experienced than you

Unfortunately both places exist, some gyms are awesome and want new people to stick around; some gyms are jaded and don't want to connect with you until you "prove" you're in it for the long haul....not realizing that this attitude contributes to people quitting

tonyb I have watched loads of your videos and have wanted to try Jiu-jitsu for so long. Am now a 58 years old guy with some health issues but i can train and go gym. I am so nervous and a shy guy. I have booked classes and arrange to meet coaches and still not gone. I watch the videos and is all good and i am sorted and then i see how some guys treat beginners at the classes, beat down on them and i am back to square one again. If you dont give the beginners a chance then they not gonna stay. I am worried my first experience i am gonna get beat on by some knob who thinks its funny. If you just submit a new guy over and over again its never gonna work.

Everyone at my gym is cool apart from a couple who have been there the longest… but I get it, I’ve been at this one nearly a year and a lot of people have been and gone, you can’t be friends with everyone if they’re just going to leave

I turn down rolls all the time and it is usually because that person is wild an I am likely to take an elbow or two to the face or even kicked or kneed in the face. I do the same with drilling partners too. Some people full on resist during a drill which defeats the point since they know what I am trying to do anyways.

FAMILY: Yes it is, it’s just an extension of your real one. So someone brings a partner to a annual family function, that person that is the visitor for the first time in this so call click, should not think it’s an automatic I’m in like Flynn. Bounding, relationship, trust, and respect has to be earned, in both sinerios. Now if that person is a gym hopper for what ever reason then it is on them, you can’t label gyms because you are unstable and can’t commit for a long period of time. Families are always going to protect there surroundings, until they feel comfortable with you, and of course you can feel comfortable with them. OSS always keep training 🙏🙏.

51 yr old white belt- gym is in a rebuild mode with a tight group that stuck with the effort to rebuild under a coach. As a result iam odd man out alot- agree with comments of questioner

I come from a traditional material art (Tae Kwon Do) and I can say we don't look down on white belts. In fact, we encourage them to talk with us. There is a respect thing, sure, but anyone who uses their rank to make someone "inferior" is not following the tenants properly. But maybe I'm just a luck one who found a great place.

Are you like 400pound 7foot tall monster ? I never been to gym where they turn you down for roll.

@Abyyss33

2 жыл бұрын

seen it happen and seen the cliques were they only go with there buddies

Anyone should feel comfortable declining rolls for any reason, you need to be able to trust someone who is working techniques that could destroy your limbs and/or kill you. Just be respectful in how you handle that interaction I would definitely rather you don't power through and roll with me if you have a problem with my build/spazziness/technique focus or race/sex/sexuality because you need to trust me to not cause you serious harm and vice versa

Many larger white belts go full spaz and ive been injured a few times. Thats why I avoid new students..

Most def like a family and I am the weird middle child of my BJJ family.

Hello..on your wall .there a postal ..its says Nashville... your school in Nashville I was born and raised in Nashville and left Nashville to go to Naval Academy after 11 years in service I came back home with a big love for martial arts

@Chewjitsu

2 жыл бұрын

I'm in Louisville, KY. The poster was a from a competition.

Imo if you're a new guy at a gym and you feel like there's cliques it's probably just because those guys tend to show up to the same classes, if you want to be a part of the "family" just dive right In I'm basically brand-new at my gym but I can tell the guys who are like day one or week one THINK I'm part of the "clique" but no we just talk because roll together often it's like chewy says natural relationship growth. Hell if I go to the gym in the afternoon instead of the morning I feel like an out cast lol

Our local gym is closed cause of covid regulations. So I've been going to other gyms... but my (local) coach doesn't like me going there. But the coach in the other city is really nice to me plus he has more athletes. I feel sometimes they make me feel guilty. I'm sorry but I'm not like an A-athlete let me train where is possible and where I like to. I like to train even at a third gym at times.

My gym is very family oriented. Only a few folks in their 20s, most everyone is too mature for bologna.

In my gym, white belts are ONLY allowed to roll with higher belts. This keeps the white belts safe, and also means the higher ups HAVE to interact with the lower ranks to help them grow.

lmao imagine mean girls in a bjj gym

And when they duck you because they afried to lose happen to me has a white belt and still as a blue belt

White belt and several gyms? Hmmmm. If this guy is trying to train at different gyms to become a competitive fighter that makes sense I guess, but many people don’t roll with white belts they don’t know. He should slow down the gym hopping and find a training partner with a couple of stripes if he wants to compete. That’s how you start building a real game. When you have a good/interesting game, who would not want to roll. When you show up 4 times a week, the higher belts notice and start taking you seriously.

Maybe it isn't anything bad. The guy could be a tough (not spastic) roll and people don't want to be seen having trouble or even getting tapped by a white belt. I don't know his specific situation because it lacks any details but it doesn't have to be all bad on his part.