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Every Balance Disaster in P2W Chess
A chess variant that wanted to add 400 new pieces becomes a balancing disaster filled with mocking players, constant pay-to-win, and the developer falling into cryptocurrency.
0:00 What Is This Game Anyway?
4:00 Turn 1 Checkmate
5:10 Overpowered 21-Cost Units
8:37 v0.41: Phoenix Beacon Disaster Update
10:15 Psych Ward
12:05 Aftercare
13:43 v0.42: GravityMage Disaster Update
19:59 v0.44: Greed Disaster Update
26:08 v0.46: Angel Disaster Update
27:47 v0.47: PoisonMage Disaster Update
29:54 v0.50: Nexus Disaster Update
31:07 v0.51: Lich Dryad Disaster
33:00 v0.53: VoidMage Disaster Update
34:34 Che$$ Evolved's New Direction
discord: discord.gg/V64JDvbWsf
Пікірлер: 136
Appendix: - I forgot to mention later that Phoenix-Beacon is 'still' in the game in the form of Nexus, it's a weaker version but still has tons of central control and is probably highly frustrating for new players to play against. Phoenix Nexus has very interesting play patterns but overall completely prevents the opponent from attacking usually. - Super-super old almost decade old footage of OOCBA exists, and has even more ridiculous balancing. Forgot to mention it. - The Spaghetti Monster also once sent a .swf of EVEN OLDER balancing than that. lol - The Spaghetti Monster is probably planning to use AI to complete the rest of the game, which is going to be sad because it means we won't get authentic balancing from the Spaghetti Monster itself, seriously, the most fun ever is mocking the developer's choices, and if an AI is making balance choices, where is the fun in that.
@throwawwy53
2 ай бұрын
an AI won't be making balance choices, it'll mimic what it thinks the balance choices would be based on whatever training data it would get. Which, if the training data is [[The Spaghetti Monster]]'s views on balance, then we can mock what the AI makes because [[TSM]] is at fault anyway
@Turdstrider
2 ай бұрын
bruh AI? At this point why don't we just help develop the game? There are people who know the game probably better the dev himself so yeah. my personal wish for a nerf would be nerfing FrostMephit so that it's freeze only works on death. So effects that target it yet don't kill it will be able to work without consequence. It opens more nuance against mephit which has shown to be way too versatile in terms of defence.
@Beepers559
2 ай бұрын
Like what throwaway said, if spaghetti monster trains the AI, it’s still spaghetti monster’s doing in a way. Sure you can’t make fun of a wrench but you can still make fun of who uses the wrench and how they used it (probably a goofy analogy but it’s the best I can come up with rn.)
@Turdstrider
2 ай бұрын
@@Beepers559 Yeah i get what you're saying. Orchestrating an AI is kinda of a skill in itself. I have seen firsthand of this experience with using AI, it's extensive (not like I care, but it's true), mainly because that's like one of the few things I see him actively do. That being said, if it's still 'his' doing, it doesn't mean it's going to be better, as you've seen, his balancing methods are beyond any kind of mental disability I could even think of.
@Beepers559
2 ай бұрын
@@Turdstrider oh I agree it’s not going to get better, an AI more than likely won’t magically make the balancing better, since our dear spaghetti monster’s balancing is, for lack of better words, appalling
It's so fascinating how these weird niche internet subcultures have such deep and intricate lore. Makes me wish I could consume all information in the universe, there's a ton of little dramas that only a small handful of people ever even know about. I've had periods of investment in a large number of internet communities throughout my life, and they're all such strictly temporary experiences. I've had extremely heated arguments about 40k rules, gotten really angry about some forum admin who nuked the forum in a tantrum, dived waist-deep into an image-editing-based strategy game forum for like 3 weeks, written some shitty homebrew rules article for an internet magazine about a TTRPG that probably had double-digit players globally that I've never even played. You're making me nostalgic, Icely. Now I'm sad that all these things are lost to time, that I barely even remember them.
@RupertAndCheese
2 ай бұрын
DAMNIT WHY DID I HAVE TO REMEMBER THESE THINGS NOW THEY'RE GONNA HAUNT ME FOR LIKE A MONTH!
@sergewind2208
2 ай бұрын
An image-editing-based strategy game? Man now I'm also gonna be haunted by what the duck that could be or work like...
@RupertAndCheese
2 ай бұрын
@@sergewind2208 Basically just MS paint battles, there was stuff like a dwarf sprite sheet, you'd take turns having your dudes do stuff; was sort of a cooperative story more than an actual competition. You'd have your dudes build a bridge or a ladder or something so you could move them around, and build your 'base' so you could train dudes to fight the other guy. I made mine these like acid slime balls, they'd eat chunks of terrain to get 'resources' to reproduce and make equipment.
@thedestroyerofhats
2 ай бұрын
This is so real. Like every little thing has this endless rabbit hole well of complexity and history that lead to other endless rabbit holes of even deeper things. Like I know so much about the lore of the community of a niche mmofps. And I just have to have all this knowledge in my brain for the rest of my life.
So supposedly this game is “releasing” in a year and a half… Anyone got yandere dev’s contact cuz I think he got a friend
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
the spaghetti monster is basically implying superintelligent AI will make the rest (and if not, probably skip version numbers to make it say v1.00)
@elitemagikarp4822
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq how would going from version 0.x.x to version 1.0.0 be "skipping version numbers"
@TheFlame_Hawk
23 күн бұрын
@@elitemagikarp4822because it'll probably be like 0.7 to 1.0
I used to love this game before the flash-pocalypse, but I never played it competitively or knew anything about the developer ….that was probably for the best.
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
lmao, I'm glad you could enjoy it (because there is a lot of stuff to enjoy about the game) even as the cursed developer was spaghettifying all over the game
the ancient advanced battles of chess are truly wild
the worst genre of bad game is a bad gamr that had all of the instruments to be good it just isnt
@iliongg2971
2 ай бұрын
Wise words
no icely don’t leave you still have to make an in-depth video about the history of soul flare’s competitive viability
@gabrote42
2 ай бұрын
Would watch
@slawless9665
2 ай бұрын
or a video about all the other Chess variants (I actually unironically like Favor Chess)
this game is a really interesting rabbit hole, and i feel like you've only *barely* scratched the surface even throughout all of your videos
Rip icely 2, we'll never get the 5 hours cba iceberg video
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
icely 3 music channel, icely 4 essay channel, icely 5 firely fps channel, and icely 6 rant channel coming soon
@tam_69420
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bqall of your videos include random rants lmao
@darioferretti3758
2 ай бұрын
Icely √2 cursed minesweeper tier list
greed is my favorite Binding of Isaac mode
@Joey4281bruh
2 ай бұрын
Liar no one likes greed mode
@user-rj8ko7eb1s
2 ай бұрын
@@Joey4281bruhit’s not really they moats ppl liked it but greedier ruins it
@isuckatgames6038
2 ай бұрын
I think it’s okay, I just don’t like having to do it to play the lost
You can always tell how much someone loves something by how much they complain about what's wrong with it.
Noooo don't abandon this channel I love the fascinating lore. Also, if you want to do an open source implementation of anything related to OOCBA I would happily contribute.
So I used to be top 30 with a soulmaster build around flexible options depending on the opponent (but the meta meant mostly using soulmaster+antimage+bishop to stomp phoenix beacon players) and then Greed came out. I was a free-to-play player, so I only had access to, like, 1 level 1 greed, and suddenly everyone was running tons of max level greeds with fire elementals and hugely expensive minions due to all the points greed saved. I stopped playing. It was sad to see what had up till then been, to my mind, a surprisingly well-balanced game go to shit almost overnight.
Your computer is having asthma, icely. Save it.
@aquaquartz
2 ай бұрын
ctrl+s
Greed+++ Battle Advanced
@GL0WSTONE
2 ай бұрын
Controversy battle advanced
@Chess_Battle_Advanced
2 ай бұрын
P2W Battle Advanced
originally i though r/anarchychess was the pinnacle of chess brainrot but clearly spaghetti monster have been outcompeting the entirety of reddit since forever
Nooo! Don't abandon this channel!!! Hearing you rant about the spaghetti monster is soooo funny! Also hearing the weird stuff they get up to is also funny!
I have no idea what is happening, but I love it
I hope to see more videos about this game in the future, it's been really engaging so far
Oh no, don't end the channel, I still don't know how many clones of this there are and how they screwed it up.
Can we make a CEO which preserves the most balanced versions of all the pieces but also some of the jank of OOCBA? We can call it…new old old chess battle advanced.
0:00 GOD DAMMIT, I got baited again!
8:37 oh my goodness it's that one song from that one felix the cat game you gotta know how much this warms my heart as the sole fan of ВМВ, so thanks icely!
Well that was a nice nostalgia trip back to 2016 4:00 - Oh yeah that checkmate was neat at the time but early CBA swappers could deal with it much easier compared to the terror of Valktal, which forced Firewall to come into existence [as Valktal immediately countered 2-space wizard swaps and multiple Valkyries with portals could even counter the most well placed paladins (one of the best king defenders at the time, no castling) and stuff ;D] 8:37 - Eggs&Bacon an absolute classic which made already dying memories of Valktal's reign fade into obscurity :D 13:43 - Playing against old gravmage was much like playing modern yugioh where you always go second and the enemy sets up the board which doesn't allow you to play :P 19:59 - Yep that went suuuper well considering that Greed became pretty much mandatory in most armies just to keep up with the enemy's greed and their more expensive pieces, and synergies between them, which greed facilitated! 26:08 - Angel getting more justice for Valktal with its obnoxious gameplay but evolving it even further... Valktal just unavoidably took your king and won in the first turns while Angel did the exact opposite and forced you to stay until that 1 morale ping kills ya :D 27:47 - Thankfully I wasn't playing when this was introduced but even before that I killed my fair share of PoisonMages just trying to move kill things for free, ended up like a moth near the flame. ; Still I have a soft spot for the even older PoisonMage++ as that was the main part of the army which brought me to GM. Right now people know well enough how to play against status comps like poison-freeze, freeze-thunder etc. But back then PoisonMages++ with FrostMages++ were my main pillars. 29:54 - That happened too during my break but I did some experimenting with the nerfed Nexus when I returned to the game right near the Void update and it for sure was interesting... 31:07 - I missed that window as well but even after that the prevalence of Lich and Elementals really made me gravitate towards the NullMage on release (not the current form but its old form on ++, considered unusable by many back then but managed to clutch it a few times for me due to the Lich/Elemental armies being relatively weak to it as people didn't know how to handle it yet. ;D 33:00 - And we made it to the last major update, what a journey it's been :) Voiding is bad enough but having a voided and nulled piece was just stupid :D ; 0 cost value drained mover which can't even block due to nulling turning it phantasmal and unable to block... Fun times ;P Anyway thanks for bringing me back into those more fun kong times before its ultimate death.
if i was to make a "build your own army" chess variant game i would include a paid dlc to unlock custom pieces but the unlocked pieces would be strict downgrades and the dlc would be called "pay to lose"
2:00 As someone with criteria and research time, I fully agree. I would recommend hitting something like Fobert Miles instead, because Grand is not a good read at all. Most solo devs are not like him, especially others like Steve Walmsley. Anyhow, onto a piece I hate but don't see much! 3:49 Multiuse Armor screams OmegaNoobance 7:42 Btw I really like the stylistic choice of doing the version updates like a scratch lottery 19:05 I never even saw any Grav before the "can't move forward" one. Very scuffed. Thank you for the history 21:03 This unit used to be the bane of my existance. I don't think it's so bad as SK and EE3 to my playstyle anymore, but damn it's hard to know how to counter it effectively as a low ELO player 26:22 This thing carried me to Master when I added it to a mediocre 91 point army. Threatens mate and launches a Nuance piece to the middle. Stronk. Especially with retaliatory minions you can set up 32:55 And every time I face it I consider trading away a 15 cost piece for the Lich, losing regardless 38:17 Great message. Thank you for your content. See you in the ladder 38:46 I hope not! I would love to keep watching unot criticisms and knwledgeable tactics
Great series. The amount of disdain you put into each utterance of "The Spaghetti Monster" will always live in my heart
Why do you refer CEO as Old Old Chess Battle Advanced?
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
it is the version of a chess-ccg like game that precedes Old Chess Battle Advanced and Chess Battle Advanced
@tam_69420
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bqwhat does old cba look like?
@Turdstrider
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq huh, so you're saying the spaghetti monster was the pioneer of this variation of chess?
Nooo…. Don’t abandon the channel, I love these videos
i played a game on kong this dev made where you try to kill an immortal spider, it was both interesting and confusing i was aware this one existed for a while but did not know the true rabbit hole (or perhaps spaghetti hole) i never entered
"Is spaghetti monster bad at balancing or intentionally doing pay to win" BOTH, he's a cryptobro, ofc he's doing intentional pay to win, and it's obvious he's trash at balancing. I bet some intentionally OP units were massively UP. Greed+++ is just the most blatantly obvious because "a free rook that isn't even free until +++" is just so blatant. EDIT: OMG AS BAD AS MORALE IS, WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MORALE GAIN.
Wait a minute, why did the OOCBA developper make an ARG ripping off the When They Cry VNs out of all things?
34:57 spaghetti monster's name is uncensored
You know it's bad when people call half your updates ; "[something] disaster"
The base concept of this game is really interesting. I wonder if there is some stuff like fixed boards that people play that are fun and balanced or is it just that constant struggle to find fun in annoyence
22:35 Releasing underpowered units dilutes the gacha/lootbox mechanic to require more currency to get what you want... but this is the SM, I think he doesn't know that would be the case.
why is everything involving your chess hijinx a giant spaghetti monster hole
11:33 hey look its me! deep and rich lore of crab when?
where did the space game videos go mr clerery
only a psych ward patient could make this game
Icely uploaded about CEI and yesterday about CBA; my day has been made
8:30 that background is an awesome detail
@IcelyPuzzles
2 ай бұрын
ch b a
@thuyenlee8995
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelyPuzzles IS THAT A FUCKING CHESS BATTLE ADVANCED REFERENCE
Can't wait for December 1st next year.
Minesweeper rougelike? Don't you mean DemonCrawl? :walcome_buck:
Grid change: Base is + but black is red. Plus. ++ is like Ranger but Poison. +++ is like ++ but Magic destroy.
Best video on this channel yet
Love those Videos
It seems like a lot of the problems with the pieces come from the tier mechanic. Reminds me of plant leveling from PvZ2. Such a shame, since a lot of these actually have interesting concepts that could probably have been executed better if the developer was competent.
Great vid, I found this game years ago and thought that I definitely have to give it a try, well 8 years later and I didnt even start it lol. Do you stil somewhat enjoy playing it or did you find more balanced alternative?
@IcelyPuzzles
2 ай бұрын
other people had to make more balanced alternatives lol
the psych ward part is crazy as THIS IS A CHESS GAME. Also tbh i'd be down to watch about other P2W games on kongerate.
I didn't pay enough for that mess
The Worst Balanced Chess Battle Advanced In The History
19:17 WTF IS THAT WHERE IS THIS TEASER FROM
Man, I played this all the time as a kid. I have no clue what happened here.
33:21 I left right here and was really confused
make gravmage pay 0, justice for gravmage
Oh boy, I just started playing this game. It's worse than I thought and I put the bar so low its in hell.
So why haven't this been remade then?
@thuyenlee8995
Ай бұрын
Chess Battle Advanced
I dont even play old old chess battle advanced
I think greed should of had the movement of a rock plus diagnal but on kill greed gets gets poisoned for 3 turnes and remove the on death
chess disaster advanced
34:56 you forgot to spaghet.
Good vid
34:57 Name Reveal
Pls explain what chess battle advanced is, I can't understand this meme
@gabrote42
2 ай бұрын
He does in the last 10 seconds of the video
@NotTochilkaIncCorp.
2 ай бұрын
@@gabrote42 Oh, thanks
@gabrote42
2 ай бұрын
@@NotTochilkaIncCorp. All cool, mate. Have a nice day
why are you censoring the game name
I have returned to this game, honestly it's quite fun. One lad in their discord server taught me about more aggressive deck options, which I LOVED. TEMPO ON TOP. also you lied to me that stall was the meta, it's not, it's really not.
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
the lad you're talking about mentioned 'nullstall' like 50 times in the past 2 months and it being a large meta share lmao it's also not clear the newest 3EE army (which is really cool) actually beats all variations of nullstall, but it's definitely a really cool army
@Turdstrider
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq it is, I do know that it will shape the meta in due time. I run a summoner haunted armor combo with alk to nuance ee.
Cheater Blink Acquired through money
Chess Balanced Advanced
Chess Fite Next
what rabbithole did i just fall into
isnt this just chess evolved online?
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
no
@FinetalPies
2 ай бұрын
(yes)
Finally, context.
11:34 *lie*
He’s talking about Ms. Marvel …Good lord Blink and Ms. Marvel are so overtuned
@zedex9892
2 ай бұрын
I was wondering who is the 4/15 Not gonna mention the p2w 5 mana came together with a 4 mana that used to be 5 mana for a good reason and change it back after awhile.
Would you be interested in a remake of this game in something like Roblox I've been thinking about making one for a while and I wanted to see who would be interested in that
@AboMuh1245
2 ай бұрын
make it in something else, it'll reach more people that way and I won't have to suffer
@incription
2 ай бұрын
@@AboMuh1245 idk I feel like roblox is a pretty good place for that
@AboMuh1245
2 ай бұрын
@@incription well, ok then! do whatever you think works best
@gabrote42
2 ай бұрын
New CBA already being made, allegedly
if a game is pay to win but its client sided, then cheat.
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
gpt3 tier comment
Please start calling things by their actual names.Please. at this point you are unnecessarily replacing everyword with injokes(?) That no one gets. No Skinner box, no spaghetti monster, no cryptogrames, no old old Chess battle advanced. Swear to God it's not even funny, man. And you repeat it like every give sentence. It's just irritating at this point. Just stop. Don't even explain. Just stop. I beg you.
@registered_dodo1743
2 ай бұрын
I don't even know if you yourself know what those words mean. Spaghetti monster is a phrase used to refer to a messy unorganized CODE, not the coder. Crypto game is entirely something else I think you are referring to gacha and ideal games.
@LyritZian
2 ай бұрын
Sorry mate, but you're in the minority. It's not that hard to follow. Spaghetti Monster is the dev, old old CBA is the game, the Skinner box is... the Skinner box lol
@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq
2 ай бұрын
lol this comment shows incredible cluelessness as to why I call them these things (there is so much backstory that makes these fitting to me). Oh and "crypto game" is 100% accurate. The Spaghetti Monster was addicted to $$$$ pay-to-win online CCG's with cryptocurrency buy-ins.
@SrMadru
2 ай бұрын
@@IcelysUnnecessary2ndChan-gv1bq yea we are clueless cause you dont explain it, and as i see it theres not really a reason considering you leave both the name of the game and the spaghetti monsters name uncensored multiple times throughout the vid
@LyritZian
2 ай бұрын
@@SrMadru He leaves things uncensored sometimes. You can always just Google certain terms or passages and find more info that way.
Chess Battle Advanced, Fully Extended Development, Including Huge Gamebreaks. CBAFEDIHG