Free of charge means the battery was already flat when they included it.

@cernunnos8917

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly what I was thinking!

@anonamatron

3 жыл бұрын

So is your sister

@GreatSageSunWukong

3 жыл бұрын

@@anonamatron that doesn't even make any sense

@clockworkengine

3 жыл бұрын

@@GreatSageSunWukong Culture shock: in America that joke makes perfect sense

@HappyCynic

3 жыл бұрын

@@clockworkengine So it's a dumb joke for dumb people?

They get away with advertising "realistic dinosaur sounds" on the box because you can't prove their dinosaur sounds are unrealistic.

@Quick_Fix

3 жыл бұрын

To be fair, you must admit that those sounds really could be realistic; how else would extinct animals sound like?

@godslaughter

3 жыл бұрын

Not really as we can use scientific methods through comparative anatomy to compare other existing archosaurs (crocodilians and extant dinosaurs - birds) and their vocal organs such as the syrinx or a larynx to determine what sorts of sounds non-avian dinosaurs most likely made. Only mammals are capable of roaring, no other vertebrate is, as for roaring you need very specific vocal organs. Non-avian dinosaurs most likely made low frequency booms, cooing and hisses. They were not capable of producing complex noises such as bird songs but they did not roar.

@Quick_Fix

3 жыл бұрын

@@godslaughter you are aware that the sarcosaur made squeaky noises?

@mynthon0

3 жыл бұрын

@@godslaughter Interesting, thanks.

@OkSharkey

3 жыл бұрын

TBF the game sounds almost exactly as it would have during the cretacious period

Everyone talks about Game Child, but nobody talks about the *Entertainment Youngster*

@Aether_GM

3 жыл бұрын

I don't like the vibes that one gives me

@crackedemerald4930

3 жыл бұрын

Have you heard of the Funi kid

@frankowalker4662

3 жыл бұрын

That just sounds creepy.

@Ads-yw1wr

3 жыл бұрын

And it’s lesser known cousin: the vidya kid

@Aether_GM

3 жыл бұрын

*Game Youth*

I feel incredibly depressed on behalf of any child who was gifted one of these

@Shiirow

3 жыл бұрын

Child : Mom, I want a Game Boy. Mom : But you have a game boy at home. the game boy at home :

@Colt45hatchback

Жыл бұрын

I had one, think i got it in 97 from mum, came with 6 or 7 of the games, didnt care for the sport ones, but i did play the outrun and space invader style ones a bit. It was just an "extra gift" at xmas, i had a super nintendo, but it would have looked ridiculous just having one snes game under the tree, so mum would go to the chinese $2 shop and buy a few things, usually a vaguely transformers lego type play set, one of these pop stationy things (got a tetris one the year after which i played alot) and so forth. If it was my only xmas gift i would have been unhappy, but it was a good pass time for rainy days untill i had access to the tv for super mario world times

Who needs a Switch when you can get multiple Game Childs for the same price!?

@TommyDeonauthsArchives

3 жыл бұрын

I'd rather have multiple VideoNow players...

@ccricers

3 жыл бұрын

All you need now is a dock that you can plug all the cartridges into so there's no need to swap them.

Wow, all these years I've been pronouncing painter as painter when it is actually pronounced printer...

@Leahi84

3 жыл бұрын

I'm amazed he looked right at it and still said printer multiple times.

@Varangian_af_Scaniae

3 жыл бұрын

@@Leahi84 He was looking thru the viewfinder so he's not completely blind.

@RSP04

Жыл бұрын

It would be better if he edited the text that said "PAINTER" whenever he says Printer. Missed opportunity there...

@samholdsworth420

6 ай бұрын

No one likes you Kate. No one

@samholdsworth420

6 ай бұрын

​@@Leahi84no one likes you Leah. No one

a battery, which is free of charge - i.e. empty, is included. nice!

@Aether_GM

3 жыл бұрын

Great joke, bad delivery

@ThisIsAUsernameReal

3 жыл бұрын

Well done lol

@AuxCart

3 жыл бұрын

Looks like a spot to hide things, like the ps2 expansion slot! 🤓

Single father compares and criticizes his three children

@superscatboy

3 жыл бұрын

...and decides they're all equally awful and disappointing

@456asd654

3 жыл бұрын

@@superscatboy INTERCHANGEABLE

@kikibebe6410

3 жыл бұрын

borno shirt.

@IvanovIvanAKrutoi

2 жыл бұрын

​@@superscatboy One of those children grew up to be the Game Nerd, proving their father wrong.

@TheBr00talhamster

2 жыл бұрын

I'd be quite disappointed if my son sold his soul and integrity to some slobs and had no time, except in the case of creating a dad band.

I love that the manual is clearly the design doc for programming the game.

@Stettafire

3 жыл бұрын

I'm a programmer and I think so. Though it's not a diagram I'm familiar with. I guess cus I don't make LED games 🤷‍♀️

@irides46

3 жыл бұрын

@@Stettafire I'm assuming that this game was not designed in a sane way. But I just kinda am guessing that they drew up some kind of flow chart either before or during development to specify the logic for the game and just decided "oh that can be the instructions"

@gregmcgregginton574

3 жыл бұрын

It's a concept flowchart, looks like.

@ccricers

3 жыл бұрын

It's like programming docs for the Unity engine, where the official one lets you down and the community has to do the heavy lifting for support.

The collective noun for group of Game Childs should be Sprogs.

@tipi5586

3 жыл бұрын

It's a rare collective noun, though, because it changes depending on the knowledge of the person/s in ownership. An uncle in the early noughties who'd purchased a few GameChildren for the same price as one GameBoy to impress their nephew would be in possession of a "clout of GameChildren".

@richardadamson1438

3 жыл бұрын

No, I think the plural should be called a infestation.

@Bl4ckD0g

3 жыл бұрын

Why not Spergs?

@stickmakerman

3 жыл бұрын

@@Bl4ckD0g I'd rather not be associated with shitty lcd games, they don't even have Tetris

@brianm6337

3 жыл бұрын

GameSpawn?

After all these years, i still have a vague sense of discomfort and dread when i see these basic LCD games. They remind me of being 10 years old and very bored, with my mom telling me to play these things which did just made me more bored and frustrated.

@tncorgi92

3 жыл бұрын

I still have several from when I was younger, every once in a while I'll dig them out and pop batteries in, play for a couple of minutes and remember how gawd awful they are.

@monchkinvitez7784

2 жыл бұрын

I had one that resembles a PSP, came with 3 games and I couldn't believe that someone could come up with this incredibly boring "entertainment". Children usually find fun in the most basic stuff, but even these things kill whatever enthusiasm you had.

@snakeplissken2148

Жыл бұрын

@@monchkinvitez7784 i bet it was more entertaining playing with the box it was shipped in or just use the plastic device as a melee weapon to strike other kids to get hands on the real gameboy!

Probably shouldn't publicly admit this, but Ashens was doing a book signing in Bristol and I just about made it in time and was the last to get the book singed, that's when I gave him the the grey gamechild mk 2 in this video, anyway I fanboyed abit to hard after meeting him and because I was the last person they locked the the shop doors behind me, I made my way back to the train station only to suddenly realise that I didn't pay for the book I have signed. Sorry X

@SegginsProductions

3 жыл бұрын

You brought us another gamechild video though, I think that’s payment enough!

@PoolFuel

3 жыл бұрын

Things like that happen sometimes in the mid of being excited. I'm sure Ashens understands haha

@MrTavrosNitram

Жыл бұрын

you payed him in the second best way. views and ad revenue

If Game Childs were still around you could guarantee they would make a *Game Child Mini*

3 жыл бұрын

Game Child Junior

@leow3696

3 жыл бұрын

Game Baby

@Warutteri

3 жыл бұрын

Game Fetus

@DASyam-tb7qt

3 жыл бұрын

Game Child S Plus Ultra Pro X

@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

3 жыл бұрын

Play Kiddie Wumbo

Wow. Got an ad for Ashens movie bundle, and I legit thought I was on the actual video, until I looked up and saw the 'Skip Ad' button.

the plural of game child should be games child, like Attorneys General.

@ziyaadjamil2324

3 жыл бұрын

What about Game Children

Who could not forget it made an appearance in The Amazing World Of Gumball?

@AxxLAfriku

3 жыл бұрын

It's weird indeed. Everywhere I comment, people tell me how much they love me and my videos. Sometimes it is annoying. But right now it would be okay. So say something nice about my content, dear san

@KGR7Gamer

3 жыл бұрын

@@AxxLAfriku What?

@77maydayZZ

3 жыл бұрын

@@AxxLAfriku Chile 🇨🇱, Anyways 💅, sew🧵

@tarsierloris

3 жыл бұрын

@@AxxLAfriku Are you sure about that? Aren’t you that guy that everyone hates?

@Robyn_iz_Here

3 жыл бұрын

When I saw that in gumball for the first time and internally screamed "ASHENS" but it dosnet matter how big I type it becuaee it was internally

The yellow Game Child with the red buttons looks almost like a Pikachu-themed special edition console. The Pikachild.

@klg9549

3 жыл бұрын

Grows up to be Pikaman.

@jacksonpercy8044

3 жыл бұрын

Wasn't there a pokemon trainer that was just a mother holding her baby wearing a little pikachu costume? Because that's what I'm imagining after your comment.

These bootlegs never cease to amaze me. They were going for Game Boy, but ended up with drunk Mr. Game and Watch.

Dinosaur Battle really hits the part of my brain that reflexively shouts "will someone answer that bloody phone?"

Coming to a store near you... The Game Orphan

@ShitpostExe-gq2dn

3 жыл бұрын

😂

You now need a Game Dad and Game Mother then you'll have the whole family.

@adamator88

3 жыл бұрын

Game sister ? Game brother ? Game baby ? Game grandpa ? Game grandma ?

@redstonegod296

3 жыл бұрын

@@adamator88 Game Aunt? Game Uncle? Game Cousin?

@adamator88

3 жыл бұрын

@@redstonegod296 Ah, forgot about those.

@Colt45hatchback

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 looks like a super nintendo and a 18" crt tv, but the screen pops out and you can replace it 🤣🤣🤣

My brain probably completely fabricated this but i feel like i saw "Ashens and the quest for the game child" in Poundland once. which would really be meta

@pennyhero7873

3 жыл бұрын

well he once found/got sent a bootleg copy of QFTGC it wouldnt be impossible to find it in poundland

@InfernosReaper

3 жыл бұрын

they'd probably make a killing selling it

@Xomage999

3 жыл бұрын

@@InfernosReaper nah, just a pound, mate.

@InfernosReaper

3 жыл бұрын

@@Xomage999 A pound can kill someone, if it's the right pound ;)

@Prawnsly

3 жыл бұрын

@@InfernosReaper or if it is inserted with enough force

I'm so excited for my Collector's Edition of Ashens to arrive.

@fr1ckingh3ck

3 жыл бұрын

same here! I'm so happy he put that reminder at the beginning of the video because I almost forgot to order mine today

@lanog40

3 жыл бұрын

I WANT IT NOW. I will cherish it for eternity, or until my brain stops working well enough for such an emotional process to continue. Then again, my love for this channel may transcend death. I’m drinking a red bull right now.

@KOTYAR1

3 жыл бұрын

You lads are alright

@K4RN4GE911

3 жыл бұрын

Just ordered mine. I figured why not, still haven't seen the movies, but they can't be bad, it's Ashens! It was sixty-five bucks, so it damn well better be worth it! Oh who am I kidding, of course it will!

@lanog40

3 жыл бұрын

Did yours arrive yet? I got mine!

The correct title is "Painter + Smart Baby". Because "Printer + Smart Baby" would be a silly name for a game!

@Cthulu1985

2 жыл бұрын

To be fair, "Painter + Smart Baby" ain´t exactly a top-tier title either...

@emeraldhill8294

Жыл бұрын

@@Cthulu1985 Yeah, Pointer +Shark baby.

Are game children sad onion approved?

Next is the Play Girl.

@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

3 жыл бұрын

Divertissement Damsel

I wonder how many kids got this for Christmas instead of the actual Gameboy. Downright traumatic

Muti wasn't a Wacky Races character. You're thinking of Muttley. The dog that always chuckled.

Did the interchangeable Game Child grow up into Pop Station.

The “Space Invaders” Dinosaur Battle seems to be the closest thing to an actual “game” they actually created

“Unique, one-of-a-kind GameChild!” Oh mercy, I’m actually jealous.

The title needs updating now that we've seen the Game Children

@LifeBulb

3 жыл бұрын

*This.* I also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s already a Game Child called Game Children.

@Stettafire

3 жыл бұрын

No, it's dumb when youtubers change the titles every two seconds 🙄

@jacksonpercy8044

3 жыл бұрын

@@Stettafire It's a joke. I agree though, I hate when youtubers change their titles or thumbnails. Other than to fix a spelling mistake or something ofc.

@jacksonpercy8044

3 жыл бұрын

@Din Do Nuffin It does if I'm looking for a videos I haven't seen before. I'll think I haven't seen it before and click on it, and depending how recently I saw the video the first time I might waste between a few seconds and several minutes before realising what's happened. Also it's like changing history, only on a small scale.

I had that Spaceman game in the 80s, as a standalone LCD game. Oh the memories.

@kaitlyn__L

3 жыл бұрын

I had the racing game in the bottom left as a stand-alone thing from the 90s :D I even kept playing it now and then after having gotten a real Game Boy... albeit mostly when the batteries had run out in the Gameboy lmao. After a while it got so fast the cars to dodge would only appear in one of the 3 depths, before not even fully appearing at all then you were guaranteed to lose within the next few seconds.

That giant dinosaur game killed me!😂

my cat loved this episode for some reason, ive never seen it so interested in the monitor in its life

the quest is complete, let us never speak of it again

Stuart really being nice to us with these frequent uploads.

@laneatkinson6441

3 жыл бұрын

I feel spoiled

The font on the pure yellow game child is giving me about half the same amount of displeasure one would get from looking at comic sans. That font should only be seen on an old western wanted poster.

I love that ashens points out "invadar" then can't read painter/printer correctly

Well that was odd and fitting getting an youtube advert about the Ashens and the Polybius Heist box-set - before an Ashen video. Magic!

"Battery included FREE OF CHARGE" Look just think about what you're saying before you put it on the box. Although to be fair after so many years that battery probably is "free of charge"

@HimmelsDaemon

3 жыл бұрын

"Free of charge," but at a considerable expense.

@andhieyusuf7008

3 жыл бұрын

leaking charge by now

I found a lcd game identical to that game kid with the tayto crisps logo.

This truly is how this channel got it's start and it's why I still watch today

The way you said “it goes blip blip blip and it’s bloody awful” made me crack up so hard. 😂

Why would you ever get one of these when those "999 in 1" block-games exist. At least they usually give you about 10 different games and likely cost the same

@Shiirow

3 жыл бұрын

a 999 in 1 game... its literally just 998 reskins of the same game and Pacman.

sometimes the quality of these products is so low it makes me feel ill

Bought my Blu-Ray Collectors Edition! The US loves Ashens!

I got an ad with Ashens in. The first time I’ve not skipped an ad in a long time.

"press the SS button" Ashens no

@jameswalker199

3 жыл бұрын

Mein leben!!

@pdroa6666

3 жыл бұрын

he's going for that pewdiepie fame

got an Ashens ad at the beginning of the Ashens video confused now

@antoniodemonio9

3 жыл бұрын

You’ve entered the matrix

I could listen to Ashens all day, I don't care what he is talking about sometime but his voice is quite soothing and entertaining.

I once, I kid you not, had a nightmare about the “game child”. It exists.

Ashens: Press the SS button Me a historian: Oh no.... Ashens: Sausage Squares Me: *exhales*

@ThatEccentricguy

3 жыл бұрын

Could you elaborate

@sirloinestakegames7866

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThatEccentricguy Nazis....

@Stettafire

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThatEccentricguy nazi secret service. Please do some history

@DoctorNemmo

3 жыл бұрын

@@sirloinestakegames7866 The infamous nazi Soup Summer

@thomasakagi7545

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThatEccentricguy The Schutzstaffel. Hitler's personal bodyguard, also ran the death camps and the secret police. A nasty bunch all around.

That Godzilla looks like he's been covered in batter and deep fried

@tncorgi92

3 жыл бұрын

Yum... I'll take a drumstick...

Those are definitely realistic dinosaur sound effects

Whoever got a Game Child from their mom thinking it was a Game Boy, you have my deepest condolences

I'm waiting for my Chanticleer Hegemony: Ashens Edition for my Game Child Color.

I will never forget these knock off Game Boys, that's when I started watching

The chiptune version of "Red River Valley" in Soccer gives me hope that somewhere out there is a Game Child game based on the classic John Hughes movie Planes, Trains, & Automobiles.

This is exactly the reason why i got a 4K Monitor. To watch a grown man play GameChild.

Oh wow. I've been watching since the Google Video days hoping you'd eventually get to the "Game Kid". I vividly remember my parents getting me one on holiday in Greece. The best part was that (being 5 or 6 at the time) the shop also sold Gameboys and my parents asked which one I wanted. Guess which one I picked.

@chupathingy6626

3 жыл бұрын

Brilliant! 🤣

the pattern on the first box reminds me of the 80's game Q-Bert.

@anonamatron

3 жыл бұрын

Qbert has a potty mouth

@Nenezilla

3 жыл бұрын

Loved when Q-Bert used to swear

Ahh, enough for an entire extended Game Family.

Can u imagine the horror if you get promised a GameBoy for Xmas...and then your grandmother gifts you this?

"battery included free of charge." That's useless then.

Printer and Smart baby, you need to go to spec savers.

@Robyn_iz_Here

3 жыл бұрын

Oh no he misread a letter when hed looking at tiny text thru a view finder needs bloody glasses

@MudSluggerBP

3 жыл бұрын

@@Robyn_iz_Here no, but you need to learn to spell 🤦🏻‍♂️🤣

I had one of those! My brother gave it to me because he got it from one of those dodgy pop-up auction shops that were all the rage in the 90's. He paid £20 for a bag of tat, because he thought he saw a GameBoy in the bag, lol

I still have one of these fearsome units, given as a gift in 1992. Possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

We didn't need to see that? we didn't need to HEAR that... christ almighty

I can't believe Nintendo copied this to make the Game Boy

13 yrs.. after all these fkng years man, same intro, same couch. fkn legend

"That is the joy of the Game Child - you can't even tell if you're playing or not." - Dr. Stuart Ashen, 2021

I JUST GOT AN AD FOR HIS MOVIE PACK THING. IT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GAURD

I think the collective should be Game Children, I kinda like it

I like how it says "emergency pause" on the back

I got an ad for the Ashens DVD box set before watching this... I willingly watched the whole thing.

Since they are knock-offs and no-one would admit to owning then, technically does that make them "Game B*stards"?

"Is that a fucking wiring diagram?!?" Sounds like my job..

Just bought the Polybius Heist Blu-Ray ! Thank you for not charging obscene delivery for us living in the outer rural British islands. Just the £1.50 standard. It was actually a main reason why I decided to purchase it, I initially was just curiously looking at how much delivery would cost to my address. Despite being in the UK I've seen "domestic" delivery costs here to be more than it costs to ship to an Australian address! Look forward to receiving it :)

The more I watch of your content, the more I’m transported it late night TV on channel 4 in the 90s. Amazing content.

I like to imagine that these were only invented to smuggle contraband.

Fuck, they're back

Your Quest for the Game Child has been unbelievably successful.

7:49 "Well, you'll be pleased to hear that that doesn't work...this one does though." I should've expected that.

**Popstation flashbacks**

They sure missed out not doing a pink version and calling it game girl ò.ó

Text on box: Painter + smart baby Ashens: "Printer!"

The only advert I get on KZread now is for Ashens.

I hereby propose the next Ashens movie be called: Ashens and the Revenge of the Game Children

Didn’t know that the famed conductor Riccardo Muti had a side gig making knockoff Nintendo products…

Ashens you are the best. This had an old school feel to it that's for sure! Best to the well you sir.

I got the Ashens ad before this and I was so confused lol

"Mom, can we have Gameboy?" Gameboy at home:

Came here from dankpods

Ashens: "What comes after Game Child and Game Kid..?" Me: "Game Toddler, obviously!"

When Ashens dies, his collection of Game Child derivatives will be fought over by the world's leading museums.

Were the game children sold in the same markets that sell counterfeit sneakers and Louis Vuitton handbags?

The song you labeled midnight sonata would have been Fur Elise... its was always freakin Fur Elise in these games... also those were realistic dinosaur sounds! Jurasic park was a lie... YOU WEREN'T THERE MAN!

@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

3 жыл бұрын

Fur Elise, It's a Small World, and Oh Susanna. The bootleg soundtrack trio

Literally got an ad for the Ashens movies box set with the documentary before this. Nice.

Painter - Smart Baby Ashens: *P R I N T E R*