The Truth About Our Tour... Is This The End of The Useless Hotline??

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Get Tickets For Our Tour HERE! tourlink.to/TUHtour
Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.
Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.
Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:
theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com
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Пікірлер: 92

  • @beepboopbeep111
    @beepboopbeep111Ай бұрын

    if this podcast ever ends I swear to god Max I'm coming to your house and shaving your hat off

  • @beebus_
    @beebus_Ай бұрын

    title better be clickbait or i’ll riot

  • @crowsak.
    @crowsak.Ай бұрын

    Props to them for actually still filming episodes despite how tired they must be! luv u gongle and maxine

  • @chloelord3578
    @chloelord3578Ай бұрын

    Max referring to George as having ‘flare ups’ gets me every time. Also, Bristol show was so good, had a blast. Would defo come to another tour 🫶

  • @wolfblood6754
    @wolfblood6754Ай бұрын

    I think max is forgetting all the jokes he used to make about George and his dad 😂

  • @lilybellek
    @lilybellekАй бұрын

    don't know if I can back to watching normally after seeing them live

  • @ca2489

    @ca2489

    Ай бұрын

    I know it feels so strange, iv been like that with last weeks episode 😂

  • @lucyloo2874

    @lucyloo2874

    Ай бұрын

    no literally

  • @JUST_A_DONUT

    @JUST_A_DONUT

    Ай бұрын

    i’m so jealous 😭😭

  • @e3891
    @e3891Ай бұрын

    Meeting George irl made me fancy him 10x more xx

  • @JBW27

    @JBW27

    Ай бұрын

    It made me realise just how much he looks like Will McKenzie 😂 And they both have deeper voices in real life. I suspect the mics don't pick up those lower frequencies 🤷🏻‍♂️🤔

  • @ca2489

    @ca2489

    Ай бұрын

    Same , i legit said out loud “omfg he is so much hotter in person”. Like really didnt expect it 😂

  • @JUST_A_DONUT

    @JUST_A_DONUT

    Ай бұрын

    i wish i was there 😭😭

  • @e3891

    @e3891

    Ай бұрын

    @@JBW27 I don’t think he looks like him haha

  • @eviealice8925
    @eviealice8925Ай бұрын

    help I was the girl who said I was 16 😭 nrs using this as my claim to fame xx

  • @possiblyignore
    @possiblyignoreАй бұрын

    BIG UP LIGHTWEIGHTS!!

  • @maisieboo9677
    @maisieboo9677Ай бұрын

    Feel like Martha Scott when I’m this early

  • @AnIrishMan500
    @AnIrishMan500Ай бұрын

    No matter what the new set looks like I'm gona miss the old set so much😔

  • @flocopps4555
    @flocopps4555Ай бұрын

    george knowing the lyrics to i dreamed a dream from les mis was something i was not expecting 😮😂

  • @c0bbles344
    @c0bbles344Ай бұрын

    I went to the manchester show it was so funny the part where someone stood up and said “that girl slept with my ex” and everyone got up and took their phones out like it was Jeremy kyle 😭😭

  • @eviealice8925

    @eviealice8925

    Ай бұрын

    omg I know right 😭 everyone was filming it was so funny

  • @gabsonmars
    @gabsonmarsАй бұрын

    It makes me so happy to see these guys do well, they really deserve it

  • @Rosie0s
    @Rosie0sАй бұрын

    Wish I actually got tickets!!! Hate having to work to live 😭😭😭

  • @louvelvet
    @louvelvetАй бұрын

    the fact that you aren't coming to newcastle is devastating

  • @millahewitt
    @millahewittАй бұрын

    awful behaviour.. introducing the guest fly, but not letting him speak the whole time and max constantly telling him to fuck off.... no way to treat a guest!

  • @johnking5174
    @johnking5174Ай бұрын

    Hi Max, I know what you mean with selective hearing". I had a boyfriend who did the exact same. So frustrating. Not the reason why we broke up, but one of some reasons why we split up in November 2022. I know how it feels when they simply don't listen.

  • @Raven_Luna_Tick
    @Raven_Luna_TickАй бұрын

    Max wearing that jumper makes him look like Dorothy from the Golden Girls.

  • @m1scha
    @m1schaАй бұрын

    is george a hologram in all the shows

  • @toukachuu127

    @toukachuu127

    Ай бұрын

    he is liike miku

  • @vinnyhoundcreations
    @vinnyhoundcreationsАй бұрын

    George constantly wiggling his toes is very distracting

  • @rob-oe4wr
    @rob-oe4wrАй бұрын

    Hope the podcast doesn't change to much. Why change something that is popular and works so well.

  • @gracemarsh1353
    @gracemarsh1353Ай бұрын

    I was meant to come to your Leeds show but I was ill 😩😩 But hearing you talk about Viaduct is HILARIOUS, it’s the best night out

  • @ca2489
    @ca2489Ай бұрын

    Im hoping theirs going to be another tour for Scotland again as il be getting meet & greet tickets next time on the early bird offer (pre-release) loved it this time round & 10/10 would go again ❤🩵🩷

  • @dahlia159
    @dahlia159Ай бұрын

    big up max

  • @chantelspence9373
    @chantelspence9373Ай бұрын

    This one was wholesome 😢

  • @ejk23
    @ejk23Ай бұрын

    i’m ready for another live tour pls also if any other city got a better score than Birmingham i’ll be distraught 💔

  • @JBW27

    @JBW27

    Ай бұрын

    Sorry but we got full marks last night in London 😅😁

  • @wonpilspinksweater1407

    @wonpilspinksweater1407

    Ай бұрын

    Big ups Evie and Kiah for the London show 😎

  • @phoebehampton9067
    @phoebehampton9067Ай бұрын

    Big Up Leeds!! Big UP THE NORTH SEA!!

  • @ellie.1908
    @ellie.1908Ай бұрын

    scarily early don’t know what to expect

  • @JuQui228
    @JuQui228Ай бұрын

    Standing room is usually pretty common for playhouses or theatres that sell out. Usually they charge a lot less and they’ll warn people ahead of time. Hopefully your venue did the same

  • @Jr_chesney
    @Jr_chesneyАй бұрын

    Hahaha 😂 💀 love you both, American tour next??

  • @jessxbx
    @jessxbxАй бұрын

    I literally tried to get tickets to the manchester one but they where literally all sold out and i even tried BIRMINGHAM AND I COULDNT GET A SINGLE TICKET so plz do another one soon so i can come 🫶🏼

  • @scarletthadley066
    @scarletthadley066Ай бұрын

    Actually so sad you guys didn't come out on the cars in bham, I was waiting for it

  • @charlotte52yearsago84
    @charlotte52yearsago84Ай бұрын

    Next time come to Sheffield please

  • @demnstout9591
    @demnstout9591Ай бұрын

    fly is the unpaid guest 😂

  • @olivia4162
    @olivia4162Ай бұрын

    first!! feels weird to be this early

  • @charlotte.f6611
    @charlotte.f6611Ай бұрын

    🎉🎉🎉

  • @deepfriedheart9180
    @deepfriedheart9180Ай бұрын

    There are not enough words to express how much I hate Max saying "big up" 😂

  • @buns0407
    @buns0407Ай бұрын

    Not me knowing the exact bar you’re talking about cause I worked n the gay village in brum for years 😭 wanna know who this DJ is so bad

  • @tamsindave
    @tamsindave29 күн бұрын

    get james marriott on the pod !!!

  • @abnormallyfunny
    @abnormallyfunnyАй бұрын

    Nipples don't become wotsits without encouragement

  • @maja7996
    @maja7996Ай бұрын

    george wiggling his dogs is SO distracting

  • @barbiechyqa9192

    @barbiechyqa9192

    Ай бұрын

    You have a foot fetish

  • @LilithCaseldine
    @LilithCaseldine12 күн бұрын

    Can Callum stop talking

  • @edjacksonindc
    @edjacksonindcАй бұрын

    I'm struggling to figure out why Max couldn't just add "please" to his request and call it a day. Not respecting other people's basic boundaries, especially when it's the bare minimum, is a serious red flag. Then, he walked away in a huff, gathered up his accomplices, and actually left the bar rather than just say "please"? Seriously? That's some diva behavior right there. I'm with the DJ. Saying "please" "thank you" and "excuse me" are just basic civility.

  • @hlw28tandl
    @hlw28tandlАй бұрын

    Anyone else not a fan of Callum having a mic? He’s either in the podcast or isn’t , I don’t get why he pipes up ???

  • @JBW27
    @JBW27Ай бұрын

    This will be a long message, but ive got some questions and statements for Max and George RE the tour. 1) Is it true that different venues had differing Meet & Greet durations? I was told that some people had 10+ mins for full on convos, whilst more popular/larger shows got a min at most. It's not a complaint as such, it's just a shame because I was hoping to talk to you both about numerous things but there wasn't sufficient time. 2) George is bigger than I had expected. He's pretty tall too 😂 Just thought I'd say something George hasn't heard before 😉😂 3) I know the podcast and your personas play on the whole straight/gay dynamic, but, as i very briefly outlined to Mr. TV on insta, there's no such thing. Every human is inherently bisexual and there's rock solid biological and behavioural science to prove it, which I could go into but only if asked coz this message is already a novel (it's not taught due to religion and pressure groups). I had been hoping to get your views on it, given your personas and mistaken but genuinely held views on your own sexualities, and to help inform you because with your audience, it seems to be something that's important to talk about and could help many people to understand themselves. In fact, every single vertebrate is inherently sexual, but thats another topic. 4) Sorry, but Taylor Swift is shit and you can come swinging at me again if you dont like that, Max 😋😂 Yes, it was me who said "a lot" to "whats there not to like about Taylor Swift" last night. The reasoning I was about to give when George asked why, is that she makes like 12 versions of the same album, knowingly ripping young fans off, and makes music specifically to sell out venues, which isnt being an artist, that's being a corporate money making machine. She's also got a bigger carbon footprint than Jeffrey Epstein every had, and that's saying something 😂 5) I was interested to know if you both see yourselves living in London for decades to come, or whether you suspect you'll move back "home", as it were, at some point? And what would each of you do if this whole internet thing was to end? (Also, in the kindest possible way, the fact that you get to call this a 'job' is crazy 😂 Only Mother Teresa had it easier). Oh, also, is there a specific reason you've moved your recording location? 6) Sorry to George for almost flooring him when I put my arm around you both for the pic at the M&G. George went to top and quickly realised he'd have to bottom coz my arm always goes on top. We got tangled up and I thought he was gonna end up on the floor for a second, as he tried to untangle himself. There's a lesson there, but i needn't say it 😂 7) As a legal professional, I had been hoping to debate with Mr. TV. Perhaps understandably, given the screaming hoards, he was quick to leave, so that sadly didn't happen. It's also quite fitting what George's Dad's job is, given my own interest in Media and Entertainment Law (that was my Master's Dissertation topic), so i was hoping to chat and get some insights about that. 8) Chris was a slimy bastard for not making himself known. Someone else I missed out on chatting with. I'd actually been after getting all you guys a pint on me at the venue bar as a cheers, but everything was evidently to a tight schedule and then straight on to Camden (I suspect Max is feeling rough today after that too 😅). 9) Cheers for the show. Tell Andrew that outfit was a look and a half. Suits him and his 'pronoun' was showing 😉😂 (it wasn't actually). The reaction Max was getting from "Big up ........" like a camp Beavo was absolutely crazy 😂 10) I'll be entirely honest, the audience was younger than I had expected. That's why I said to George "one wrong move and you'll be on a register" 😅 In the nicest way possible, don't go near your DM's, coz many people there seemed far too young. And speaking on potential awkwardness, bless Arthur sitting awkwardly throughout Hillys singing 😂 He was like a window sill troll doll clapping along and moving like Ann Widdecombe 😅🤦🏻‍♂️

  • @issy29

    @issy29

    Ай бұрын

    mate just be quiet nobody asked for ur uncomfy opinions

  • @katietaylor2804

    @katietaylor2804

    Ай бұрын

    It’s giving baby reindeer

  • @JBW27

    @JBW27

    Ай бұрын

    @@issy29 As far as I can see, very little of what I said is based in opinions. And as to something being "uncomfy", whichever bit of what I said that refers to I haven't a clue, it doesn't consequently make it untrue. No one asked for your attitude, yet here you are 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • @JBW27

    @JBW27

    Ай бұрын

    @@katietaylor2804 which is ironic, given that I was one of only a few people at last night's show NOT screaming and shaking and typing to friends "OMG I've just met Max and George", as if they're Messiah's. Frankly, they're just two guys who make shit for the internet and I happen to find a decent amount of it amusing. The fact that I had so much to reference in my original message is simply a symptom of having a bit of an autistic brain, like Mr. TV, whereby a simple stimulus causes a thousand thoughts and questions. I can only apologise for not having a brain as simple as yours evidently is.

  • @JBW27

    @JBW27

    Ай бұрын

    @@katietaylor2804 You're saying "it's giving baby reindeer", yet I was one of only a few people at last night's show who wasn't screaming constantly, shaking with nerves, and freaking out as if Max, George, or any of the guests are God's. They're people who make videos for the internet, I happen to find their stuff humourous overall, but I certainly don't put them on the pedestal that many of you do. They're mildly noteworthy at most, in the grand scheme of "celebrity culture", and that's meant with no disrespect to any of them. The only reason I spend any money on their stuff is because they seem to be genuinely nice people, unlike many in the business. The fact that I had a lot to say in my original comment is because I have a similar brain to Arthur F. A single stimulus turns into a thousand thoughts and questions. You clearly don't have friends with whom you share deep conversations, or just a general sense of being approachable, because if you did you'd realise you can actually speak to a single person for many hours, rather than sending vacuous and intellectually challenged drivel back and forth via your phones. I haven't seen Baby Reindeer, but from what I can gather, the lady involved knows things about someone else. If that's what you're getting at, the only thing I said which could perhaps cause such a reply by you would be George's Dad's job. Now, given my legal interest, I happen to know about all of the major film and music studios, distributors etc. His Dad's job is big enough that a general look into said company for job application knowledge has him come up as a relevant name to know. Given that George then said where his Dad works on the podcast and the surnames matched, it was a natural connection realising who it was. Not everything is drama or some deep scandal, and I needn't explain myself to you or anyone else, but you'd do well to not paint people with a bad brush on sight. You don't need to be bitchy or catty in replying either, although perhaps you can't help yourself. The fact that I don't have a simple, boring, self-obsessed brain, as many young people do, is not for you to get shitty about either. You may well get by on incredibly vapid comments like "watching this while eating tuna", but to others that won't do. In summary, by all means, tell me "it's giving .......", but what that's actually "giving" me is the knowledge that you have nothing original or perceptive to offer. It's piteous. Do, and indeed be, better in future.

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