I saw a great quote recently: "No one gets more upset than a Narcissist getting accused of something they definitely did." 😄

@CG-no7js

Жыл бұрын

Perfect quote about narcs!

@vickit3124

Жыл бұрын

So very true

@shaheeda

Жыл бұрын

They rage when you don’t believe their lies.

@KathleenEvans7

Жыл бұрын

They refuse to be accountable and blame their issues on you sadly

@greenwillow5404

Жыл бұрын

🤣

It’s strange that they are so scared of shame but yet everything they do is shameful. Truly perplexing.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Lots of twisted logic.

@michellemitchell5005

Жыл бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism thanks knowledge is power.

@ND-or5so

Жыл бұрын

z32luvr: Yes! (about the Narc afraid of shame but does shameful things)That has been totally perplexing to me also. I can't believe I see the Narcissist do this and was confused how this happens in front of my eyes and no one points this out on any Narcissist video. I'm so happy to see your comment because now I know someone else sees the same thing Omg! Thanks you for saying something.

@joshuaanzalone2060

Жыл бұрын

Yes it's hilarious how their shame bothers them to the core yet they continue to do things that cause shame

@karadiberlino

Жыл бұрын

The cringe is real! 😝

I asked a narcissist once why he lied (as he did so naturally) - he replied "because it works" ... and that was one of the rare-ist truths he ever told.

@deniser7894

Жыл бұрын

Funny how sometimes the truth just pops out. I asked my narc once why he treated me so badly? Got a very truthful answer….”because I can”

@lenihassveasphaug9634

Жыл бұрын

wow

@tinablok5700

Жыл бұрын

Ma ex narc once said to me that he is an evil person

@natinamack5123

Жыл бұрын

Yes, he did. Overt narc.

@lenihassveasphaug9634

Жыл бұрын

'it' (the narcissists) said to me. It was joyful to destroy me, couldn't believe what heard.'It' said it again: With predatory smirk.' Cos you are so easy to destroy'.

They know exactly what they are doing!..gaslighting for instance, is a deliberate choice! They have zero empathy! They try to completely destroy anyone who is brave enough to stand up to their abuse...or tries to help others being abused. They are malicious. They are cowards. They are bullies.

@bkpsly1

Жыл бұрын

Been on the receiving end of that destruction, and it isn't pleasant, to say the least. It is outright ABUSE and people who've been treated this way need to understand that. These people make choices and do this on purpose, to people they supposedly care about and love, make no mistake about that. It's insidious behavior. Scary stuff

@carolnahigian9518

Жыл бұрын

amen...!!

@cindymartin6307

Жыл бұрын

Amen

@silviac221

Жыл бұрын

Yes to all of what you said.

@bornwithadestinyplsdontstealit

Жыл бұрын

Yes totally agree

I think I can speak for a lot of folks when I say that you and Dr Ramani are easily the best two at what you do. We appreciate you.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@XThirdEyeX

Жыл бұрын

Don't forget about Lisa Romano, Michele Nieves and Ross Rosenberg too. They all have helped me make more sense of many of these toxic things.

@EricLeafericson

Жыл бұрын

@@Teacher369 I hope the channels start cross-promoting and showing up on each other's streams and videos! ❤️ I also think there a way to expand the scope of some of these channels beyond self-help against narcissistic abuse. For example, what does it say about society when we so frequently enable narcissistic and toxic people? I remember the phrase "the only way for evil people to win is for good people to do nothing" would apply to narcissists and their enablers as well as it applied to WW2-era Germans that did little as N*z*s rose to power and influence. We'd probably need a sociologist to help with such a project, and it may turn off some folks who are just here to seek help in surviving their abusive environment. But I still think it's a worthwhile project.

@AlwaysStampinVideos

Жыл бұрын

So agreed! Sam V is educational at best but is in no way whatsoever helpful or encouraging other than educating about narcissism and similar dysfunctions. Everyone else just seems like they need a place to rant about their experience. (edited for typos)

@rkbllc

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” is the their answer. No conversation, no explanation, just gaslighting and crazy-making…

It is much easier to walk through the eye of a needle than to have a good relationship with a narcissist.

@mabeline7

Жыл бұрын

Truth! I’m definitely using this!

@colleenshea2293

Жыл бұрын

I've been noticing that you can never actually have a real conversation with a narc. Never.

@MeCynthiaAnn

9 ай бұрын

Thanks….I for sure will screen shot this. Perfect words. God bless you so much.

@carolnahigian9518

20 күн бұрын

i had a boy friend Who pretended he grew up in a different City! deluded

Lying is their truth, and that’s a fact.

@haleywiege9259

Жыл бұрын

Preach!

@angelabowman343

Жыл бұрын

10000000 percent!!

@emmaharper860

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely 💯 💯 💯 💯

@kwajcarol

Жыл бұрын

It is useless to debate .... deliberate....with a narcissist. Truth is meaningless ...to them.

@hijodelaisla275

Жыл бұрын

Is it a fact or an alternate fact?

They are dishonest, sick people, And they know exactly what they’re doing evil evil evil

@haleywiege9259

Жыл бұрын

I know! I stay away from my boyfriends narcissistic mother after abuse and threats to hurt me and I guess she, "doesn't understand why!" Delusional, vindictive person man. Then my boyfriend is like, "what do you have against my mom!" WTF! I'm pretty stuck in the situation, he is a grown ass man still living with his mom, hasn't once had his own apartment! He's pretty messed up in the head because of her and I refuse to try and "fix" it.. he needs to do that himself. He thinks her threats are empty and I've tried to tell him when they're raging and acting impulsively, they will do those things.. sweeps it under the rug like it's nothing.. he expects me to accept and deal with it like he is. No respect for how I feel. He benefits from her for his own self-serving things like not even paying rent, I think she is dangerous and is capable of dangerous things and it's even more dangerous that he's oblivious to her actions. I thought to myself, "what if she killed me or something, would he just be like, "oh wow I had no idea she would do something like that! Oh my gawd!" Anyways.

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

yea, i used to wonder if they knew what they are doing, but yea, after all the experience I have I totally agree with you. they do know and that is truly evil.

@jengable4888

Жыл бұрын

Yes !

@Bianca-sw5id

Жыл бұрын

Monsters

Even after 8 years of studying Narcississm indepth, it's mind-blowing that these creatures walk among us and look and pretend act like everyone else. But, will NEVER change! It's always going to be whatever is beneficial to them!

@z32luvr

Жыл бұрын

It’s life changing and detrimental. You can grow stronger from it though.

@lindabell2940

Жыл бұрын

What did you say, i love it they do exist, i got on facebook and that was my favorite saying, they do exist, your right hec my mind flows with imaginary, i would think all kind of stuff,is my crazy sister my real sister, hec i would think so much, which she was full blooded real even though mom had other kids, i never really met, the closet thing was hec she is from outer space, my god ,just because how she treated her own family, not normal, they do exist they have red blood, im nuts ,hec i feel bad because yea we lived in disfunction has a child but i never seen mom and dad with this lack of empathy, thats what gets me, i know people can pick up maybe there parents ways, or what ever. but this stuff,will trip you out, hec my sister a retard, she handy cap, no but it happen in my own family, the theorys, hec its like maybe, i have to take responsibility cause she is my blood,i always help my family its in my core, but dear folks, im stuck on, crazyness,sucks, so i cry, yea i was always disfunction somehow, but this mental is deep,help those folks, rock bottom is hell for anyone

@lindabell2940

Жыл бұрын

I was talking to comment, Ceil Constante, thank ya ,

@brianreed8271

Жыл бұрын

often they will do what feels good to them in the moment.and it's not beneficial to them at all. then the s*** hits the fan and it's somebody else's fault.

@ceilconstante640

Жыл бұрын

@@lindabell2940 Hi Linda! I'm also a visual creative thinker. Yes, we are living in the Twilight Zone! It is bizarre how they're not what they seem. They can be so nice and charming in front of others but behind closed doors they can and do unleash their demons on their prey till you don't know exactly what hit you! My Mom, my older sister, older brother and younger brother! But not my Dad. If I told my Mom about things they'd done to me, she'd get mad at me. Thank God I've had some amazing dogs that helped me cope. That would drive me crazy to know my Mom had other kids that I didn't know because I'd wonder so much about them. Life isn't what it seems. They exist and walk among us. Family members, Neighbors, store clerks, people you may know from Church etc. Not from outer space but spiritual offsprings of Satan.

It's shocking how "textbook" their behaviors are. Truly.

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

I know. It's weird. At least they are predictable.

@salliegallegos918

Жыл бұрын

Oh so predictable! Run!

@dazzlingpumppouches

Жыл бұрын

Yeah crazy isn’t it!

I am very unforgiving when it comes to people lying to me. Even one small lie makes it difficult for me to trust anything else that they say. Lies are a huge red flag telling you to move on.

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

Me too.

@susanhill3100

8 ай бұрын

Good for you!.. I despise LIARS!... 💯

My mother used to beat me. As a child I didn't know why and when I would be beat, so I was very compliant. In my 30s, I asked her why she used to beat me. She said, because I was a bad child. Having a narcissistic mother hurts to this day.

@sarahcinnamonthriving9563

Жыл бұрын

Hugs to you... I understand... Both my parents and my sister... Am No Contact. Takes a life long toll because the abuse developmentally damages us... C-PTSD, and brainwashed from our starts to tolerate "bad behaviour". YOU are NOT bad and NEVER were, by definitions of such. IF you are an ongoing work-in-progress, than you are GOOD ENOUGH!!! 🌌🕊🦋🤩💞

@anielakowzan9113

Жыл бұрын

I sincerely hope you are finding ways to heal yourself from the abuse. Your mom sounds deranged and there is no way for someone like this to be able to see reality. Hang in there, heal your inner child with much love and comforting directed at yourself 🕯💕😇🙏🏻🍀🕊💕. All the best to you! You deserve to be treated well. Now YOU can be the nurturing parent to your own inner child🤗💕🎉.

@Daysleeper1000

Жыл бұрын

Oh, yes. My mother WATCHED my brother beat me with a hammer. He was the hero. I asked her when I was 40 why she sat there...she said it was my fault. Extremely traumatic and I knew she was evil.

@Liz9999

Жыл бұрын

This is so hard. I hope you are doing well now.

@considerthelilies91

Жыл бұрын

Her behavior reflects her own self-loathing

The Narcissist's Primary Objective in the relationship is to Silently Destroy your Soul by any means possible....

@CF-wn2ce

Жыл бұрын

But the irony is in killing their supply they so desperately need

@jenelledemoro8350

4 ай бұрын

And that’s the truth

They talk in circles then deny 🤷‍♀️

After a lifetime, I'm 63, my mother, brother and sister are no longer pulling their crap on me. I went no contact 2 months ago. It feels so good not listening to the lies that roll off their tongues. With the help of Dr. C. I no longer feel stressed. Thank you!

@MsMerised

5 ай бұрын

I hope you're doing well🌻🌻🌻

@markmiller9163

5 ай бұрын

I'm doing pretty well, thanks to a number of therapists on KZread. It's very helpful to be the company of people that have experienced the same things I've been through. Thanks for asking.

"loose with the truth" is a nice way of saying pathological liar.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

I was being diplomatic.

@MT-bc1we

Жыл бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism big smiles from vermont :))

They are dishonest and conniving. For their benefit.

The meaning of "validation", after narcissistic abuse: When the flying monkeys realize they've been grossly misled by the narcissist

When they are doing their mind games and torturing they will always deny what they do, and blame you for them doing it, they seem to like to collect people on their side so they feel justified, its truly terrible what's going on today with the flying monkeys that help these people in their justification.

Narcissists are excellent at acting. They get people by their charm and performance. It can leave you confused because they are so innocent in playing victim and pointing you as the abuser. Don't fall for it!💙KZreadr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

@StihlmaddArborist

Жыл бұрын

They are true snakes in the grass

@surlif

Жыл бұрын

Goddess, your comment is so helpful for me, I want to like it at least a thousand times.

@carolnahigian9518

Жыл бұрын

I had a "Lead Instructor" who was so NUTZ- she would follow me DOWN THE HALL AFTER I clocked out & say " I am not done CORRECTING YOU Carol"! Absolutely Certifiable UGLY.

@laureenanderson3122

Жыл бұрын

I have been tossing up between HFA (Aspergers or High Functioning Autism) for so long and I still don’t know. One is intentional and one is not. My husband was extremely bright. Is he a liar? He always told me that he believed in telling “truth” as much as I did. He was very kind and controlled in most respects. Is that Overt Narcissism? or Aspergers?

@susangeorge5399

Жыл бұрын

Charms them with jucy lies!

They lie even when there seems to be no real need for it. For example, my brother, ten years younger and the Golden Child, was an indifferent student and didn't bother learning to spell correctly. My mother's response to this was to say that I too had been a terrible speller at his age. Actually I had been the school spelling-bee champion. Not that I expected her to remember that, or admit it if she did. But to create an unnecessary lie that was 180 degrees from the truth? Who does that but a narcissist?

@marciathomas1625

Жыл бұрын

A narcissist will lie when the truth would do.

@bindibud23

Жыл бұрын

@@marciathomas1625 Yes! Or even not saying anything would do.

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

yea, they lie about weird stuff that doesn't even matter. totally nuts.

"It doesn't matter if you lie - nobody knows any difference" said my narc husband years ago when confronted with his lying . He still continues to lie even knowing that I know he is . HE becomes enraged when I tell him I'm not falling for the gaslighting .

@emilywilson7308

Жыл бұрын

Yup! The BS stops here!

@sharonboehm5296

Жыл бұрын

He obviously doesn’t realise other peoples’ intelligence and experiences.

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

yea. they just don't care. and they usually get away with it.

“Our problems can’t be my fault.” How deeply I bought into that lie after 25 years …. 😑

The gaslighting and easy flowing lies are heart, mind, and relationship breaking.

@msjannd4

Жыл бұрын

And devastatingly painful. 😪

@rebekah2260

Жыл бұрын

But not soul destroying.....please don't let them.....I'm talking to myself too!!!!

@salliegallegos918

Жыл бұрын

Walk away

@wordswordswords8203

Жыл бұрын

easy flowing lies. that's a great way to put it. they lie like it's nothing and it just flows out of them naturally with no regret or conscience. It's sickening.

Lying is embedded in the narcissist.

If you can be bothered to keep listening, a narcissist won’t be able to resist giving you a glimpse of the real truth.

They are very proud that they can control everything. I think that they want to be worshipped. Thank you for making these videos.

@jeanetteshawredden5643

Жыл бұрын

Want people to "adore" them, admire them, worship the ground they walk on.

I have a narcissistic sister who did something she should have talked to me about first. When I confronted her about it her response was, "I feel like I spoke to you about it." That was it. She hadn't but she "felt" like she had. I've learned her feelings create her reality.

@shelley7975

Жыл бұрын

That's called gas lighting. They screw with your reality. She knew she hadn't spoken to you. They are liars and deceivers.

@bretonvikanderakabret4468

Жыл бұрын

This is it exactly, Rondall! This is a big one. Their 'feelings' form their reality. They'll keep moving the goalposts.

@keplermission4947

Жыл бұрын

Tut ... we don't confront the dark triad. Imagine they were in the Sicilian Mafia and you know, you either sort it out quick or uh ... you'll be history and they'll just start to build a scheme against you after that!

@RN-gx7wt

Жыл бұрын

It's called "Emotional Reasoning" Pretty dangerous, sticks to you like the plague. Stay away from their reality.

@haleywiege9259

Жыл бұрын

Exactly it.

I remember the expression on his face when I knew he lied to me. Whenever I see that expression on anybody's face, I know they're lying.

@tahiyamarome

Жыл бұрын

They have as many tells as a toddler. My favorite is when they look up at you diagonally past their eyebrows (even if you're shorter than they are) trying not to smirk bc they are measuring if you're buying their bs. I started laughing out loud and walking out of the room when my father did that.

Oh goodness. This is so spot on. I thought I was going crazy being with husband like this. He kept bringing up my “version of the truth” was wrong. I told him many times he didn’t live in reality. Couldn’t take anymore. He promised counseling and when he wouldn’t stick with it I called it quits. There was no hope of a healthy marriage.

@brianlane9534

Жыл бұрын

Well now... About 5, maybe six by now, years ago I asked my lovely wife 😆 to go to marriage counseling. Her reply? "We don't need marriage counseling. There is nothing wrong with our marriage." I'll never forget that, it's an exact quote. It was then I realized I am not married to a normal person. Up until the very end - the day I moved out - she did not once, NOT A SINGLE TIME, ask WHY I wanted a divorce. She didn't care at all. When I served her divorce papers, she indicated that that was what she was thinking about doing to me. I could talk about nominating her for an academy award for her acting ability after that. I don't even have to bring up the fact that I did not believe most of what she said. After a period of time I came to the realization that she probably doesn't even know she is lying.

@ND-or5so

Жыл бұрын

I know your right

@DJH97

Жыл бұрын

@@brianlane9534 Yep. I know exactly what you were experiencing. I told my ex husband for 20 years we needed help. He just wasn’t “present” for the relationship unless we were in front of people. He wasn’t present as a father. Didn’t even go see my dying son. Knew for decades there was something very very wrong. Kept praying for improvement or that he would see that help was desperately needed. But he said it was me and I should get the help. So I did. Then he left me and wanted to come back so I put the boundary of counseling up. He agreed but didn’t go for long. And found a therapist and Dr C. 30 years of marriage that was a show. A farce. So dad

@gerir8634

Жыл бұрын

Funny thing about truth, it is unchanging. That’s how we can recognize it. The truth is truth, whether we like it or not.

@paulkrenz9593

Жыл бұрын

The counselling promise is a regular trick they pull to try and keep you hanging, and right at that moment they will be thinking " I am making this promise but there is no way I am going to listen to anything a counsellor says "

Narcissist Father blames, Lies Disrespects , screams in rage The truth doesn’t matter at all And NEVER EVER tell these people your goals or anything about you . The only way to deal with these types of people is to Not deal with them at all & if you have to, Make it short and still NEVER tell them anything good about how your doing When you do finally get away from theme

@threestepsdown

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!! If you tell them something you are happy about they will diminish and demean it. I've learned to keep my mouth shut

You have the sense you’re living in a funhouse with a narcissist. You’ve got to detach or you will lose all sense of reality.

I really appreciate this. The dishonesty is so hard to deal with. My Dad has dementia and one brother told me that if we have to make a decision that he may not like, "We'll just lie to him." This made me feel sick, because I realized that he probably has this attitude towards me as well, whenever I am "inconvenient" or "a problem". I now have only one brother that I can trust (out of 4), which makes me incredibly sad.

@aaronkwolfe

Жыл бұрын

Disturbing to see that lying is the “go to” default for him, but you seeing that his character was revealed in that moment. If they are capable of lying TO you, they are just as capable to lie ABOUT you.

@MegaMARLEEN1

Жыл бұрын

It's sad, sickening for themselves at the first place, but even more for their surroundings. Let's insist on good education.

@hchayes9431

Жыл бұрын

Casual lies or white lies. If your dad was dementia then he'd would most likely forget about a certain topic a couple of days later.

@kathiemihindukulasuriya1538

Жыл бұрын

@@hchayes9431 My Dad MAY forget, but it is wrong and hurtful to distort reality for someone who is struggling with memory issues. You can distract him, keep the answer as mild as possible, change the topic, empathize with them but you shouldn't lie (contradict reality). They are already struggling to hold on to reality while dealing with a faulty memory.

@yime6631

Жыл бұрын

@@aaronkwolfe And know that even though we don't see them talking smack behind our backs, they ARE doing it!! There were such obvious signs my ex was doing this to me! But not obvious until way late in the game. If I confronted him about saying something negative about me, he'd just LIE and DENY that he never said it! It was my imagination that a particular someone that he and I BOTH knew would start treating me differently. For nothing at all bad that I'd done to them! They are spreading lies so people will hate us while we're propping them up so others will like them! Undercover James Bond style smear campaign is what it was for me. He was trying to destroy my good reputation with everyone he talked to who would listen to him. It worked on a lot of them too. I was "bad" because he SAID SO, not because these people witnessed me saying or doing these things he told them, which I WASN'T. Weak people, flying monkeys, or whoever they are that don't FACT CHECK the poison a narc spews are just as pathetic as the narcs themselves. Utterly useless humans. Pardon the rant. I'm in a mood. 😤

This is so accurate! The gaslighting made my head spin.

@jennywager6228

Жыл бұрын

Made me ill literally

Asked not so long ago a narcissist why she was slamming me so much. Her answer: "because I am better than you!"

Their grasp on fact and reality is flawless when they are recalling details of times when you displeased them...I have seen them recount every detail down to the facial expressions accurately of something that happened years ago, but when confronted about their own bad behavior last week they say "you know I have memory problems, you can't expect me to know what you're talking about"

@laurieannJake

Жыл бұрын

Omg!!! Omg! You described my husband perfectly are you sure you don’t know him? Jk But seriously and he uses his Parkinson’s now it’s very early onset but he’s got every offense by me down pat but denies his abuses towards me and my daughter we were both flawed in his eyes.

@victoria9663

Жыл бұрын

@@laurieannJake it is crazy what they will do to excuse their behavior!

@pamb2656

Жыл бұрын

OMG! you are so correct. i have to wonder , is this a brain chemical thing. how do they do this so convincingly? there were times i had to doubt myself. now i know.

One warning sign is, be careful about a partner who likes to fool you with fake "joke" stories. Like they tell you a whole story, and then at the end, they say, "Nah I was just kidding, I made that all up." That shows they enjoy the feeling of fooling you. I had a recent ex like that, who told those fake joke stories a lot. Which annoyed me. And eventually later, I figured out he was a major liar too. So the fake stories were predictive.

@sjs3590

Жыл бұрын

My husband likes to tell people untrue stories and he finds it funny when people believe him. I tell him that is not joking. He says it is. He lies a lot! I hate it.

@RN-gx7wt

Жыл бұрын

Basically testing the waters.

My ex got a kitten from a woman he met at a garage sale. When he went inside she was doing Crack. He watched, was offered and refused some, and left. I was very concerned when he told me because of his history of addictions. I was assured he would not return,as it was so disgusting. A couple of weeks ago, a kitten was , supposedly, left in a box on his doorstep, by the Crack doing woman. The heat was intense outside and the doorstep in full sun! I was very 😡 upset by the negligence. Well it turns out there was no cat in any box. He'd gone back to get a second kitten and didn't want me knowing he'd been back to the crackhouse! The moral of the story, if it seems far fetched, and a narcissist is telling it, it ain't true!

uhmmm....that they believe their own BS - or con themselves so they can lie to you with what seems like confidence or surety?

@aliceroberts1980

Жыл бұрын

That’s why actually works because they believe it and they sound like they’re telling the truth but it’s a lie had me believe in for years

@treelover1050

Жыл бұрын

HATE PEOPLE THAT LIE. SO. WHEN I SAW HIS LYING, I LEFT HIM FOREVER. CAN'T TRUST THEM.

@catheyahannas3240

Жыл бұрын

You're absolutely right, they actually believe their BS, and no matter what anyone else knows to be true are the liars as far as they're concerned. I honestly started questioning my own sanity because life according to my ex husband was nothing like the reality I was living through.

@Uberqueenbee

Жыл бұрын

They speak with the authority and sincerity that doctors use with their patients even when they're blowing smoke up their asses.

@artglue2

Жыл бұрын

Off topic, but the orange shirt is a great color on you! My “husband” makes up stories about everything…nothing is the truth. It used to keep my head spinning but I’m privy to his ways now.

The narcissists I have known seem to live in a fantasy world. They can see someone at the mall from across the walkway and make up an entire story about why they were there when they really don't know. They make guesses about things based on little to no knowledge about what people are doing. Also, I have noticed that they love to use half-truths as you say, so they have an excuse when they decide to back out of things or to make us look foolish when we keep them accountable.

They do not have an agenda (any appointment they forget was not made 😉), exept the agenda to make you feel very small and confused, because they feel small all the time. It's exhausting and confusing living with one.

shame and envy are core emotions to them

" The effort that the narcissist puts into their false self, drains them of any ability to have empathy.. ". This is so eye opening, and makes sense. If all the energy is going way, there's no energy left to go the other way. Lying works, as long as they are enabled. If they faced consequences for every lie they told, they may not change, but they would think again before lying the next time, because they know they will lose something. But if one keeps enabling them, by being there, listening, picking up the phone, engaging, or worse still, arguing them, it will only encourage them to do more, (and more, and more). Basically if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, and you're not leaving, and you can, you're part of the problem. If they think they can get away with it with you, they will think they can get away with it with everybody else. We all learn from our mistakes, but if there are no consequences, there was technically, no mistake.

@angelawade1445

Жыл бұрын

The sad thing is everyone is not aware of the real problem so they keep enabling them. They even overlook their lies because they are empathetic and feel they have unmet childhood needs etc. This is why they seldom suffer the consequences of their actions.

@ebbyc1817

Жыл бұрын

@@angelawade1445 That's true. I'm guilty of that too. I was part of the problem.

@angelawade1445

Жыл бұрын

@@ebbyc1817 well I hope you are free. It is like a prison.

@ebbyc1817

Жыл бұрын

@@angelawade1445 mentally, will take a while. physically, is easy, you just cut them off.

@jenstevens2998

Жыл бұрын

Even worse, often people ARE aware. The same people who enlisted me to mediate with my own abuser, then defend and prop up the same person as soon as I succeeded in getting out. They may be in for a real shock when he disengages from fighting to put me down and he turns his focus back upon them, again. That saddens me. I cared about my children's family, but they choose him OVER their own grandchildren

When I finally realised the narcissists in my life were lying - about everything, to themselves & subsequently to me - it was freeing. Their realities are deceitful & ephemeral - and more importantly NOT my reality. They are all trying hard to get me back into the box of pleasing them - which was crazy-making & compromised of capricious moving targets. I just look at them & say nothing. Next step is to reply with simple honesty. Mainly I keep as much silence & distance from my unbeleibably selfish, mendacious, manipulating, self aggrandizing siblings as possible. It's more complicated with my husband & parents...

The fact is I'm all done playing this game and I simply stopped speaking to the narcissist a month ago. That's a fact. Thanks Dr. Carter & Gus! ♥️ This is spot on!

@brianlane9534

Жыл бұрын

Now that you know, never go back. The day I left I went no contact. Not looking back.

@martyrose

Жыл бұрын

@@salliegallegos918 Yep. I'm to the point where I can recite the criticism in my head for whatever I might have said or done before I do it. This is just a person who's property I'm on and it's a whole lot less stressful not playing the neighbor game. You can only try so hard and do so much while they don't contribute anything positive.

Facts are: whatever the narcissist damn well says they are.

Dishonesty is at the root of all evil. Like money.

@smustipher

Жыл бұрын

Agreed on the dishonesty part. It's the LOVE of money that is the root of evil, not the money iself. Also note that many dishonest people usually have shady dealings with money/ will lie and cheat to get it because that have an excessive greed for it.

This reminds me of being in school struggling with algebra until I reached my "aha" moment. I wish I'd caught on to the mysteries of being married to a narcissist about thirty years ago.

Told (narc) sister a quote... God keeps score so I don't have to . She immediately told me how our brother was mean to her.

They are constantly busy making sure their lies do not crash and return like boomerangs on them! Thank you Dr. C and Gus!

This video was pure gold! The overgrown children have been pretending for many years and lack the courage to change and grow up. For our own well-being, it is better to have low engagement and low expectations with these exhausting individuals who are offended by peace and grace that we could bring to them.

@susannakotoff7095

Жыл бұрын

no contact is only way and silence with them if u have to be around them for an event

My ex-boyfriend admitted that his dad has always helpped get him out of trouble. The one before him admitted that he was jealous of how easily I can make friends. My reply was... " because I'm not an a-hole."

Proverbs 4:16. For they cannot sleep until they do evil/mischief, and their rest is taken away from them unless they cause someone to fall."

Thank you for being honest, so refreshing, 🤭 I live with three covert narcissistic individuals, their words are noise to me. I handle it with dignity, respect and civility. Kindly ignore their selfish needs, and never trust them.

Everything that you said is true. I'm glad I am out of my relationship with my ex. It was living HELL. His thinking is so twisted and I was always the cause of his misery. Interestingly enough he wants me back now as he is old and lonely but I said NO. THANK GOD that I managed to be a lot stronger to be independent.

My ex would routinely lie about anything to make herself look good or to be the centre of attention. If I ever said anything about, even if only in private to her, she would always retaliate or rage at me. Of course if I ever so much as exaggerated anything she would be on my case. While we were together, it was a surreal life where reality took second place to what she "believed".

@mightymouse1005

Жыл бұрын

It's like make believe. Funny, my narc will lie to make me look bad but not good. He'll lie to make himself look good but not bad. . They DO know what they do. I will ask him "remember when you said this lie about me? " he admits it...then gets mad I caught him 🤣 😂 🤪 it's like living in a never ending soap opera in which you're always the villain and they're the victim. Some alternate universe

The narcissists and the malignant narcissists lie and even brag about how far they could take their lies. These are dangerous, evil people who are wolves that actually get joy by deceiving and hurting people. If that isn't evil it sure isn't a mistake: it is purposeful and often aimed at hurting those they are jealous of. When you realize you are suffering with one of these predators, go contact and breathe the fresh air! I have!

I used to watch my narcissistic ex manipulate judges, law enforcement, and pretty much anyone who would listen. He would lie about everything with a straight face and when caught COMPLETELY take on the victim role never taking accountability for his actions or behavior. It was always “someone else’s fault” “they made me do it” or just the poor me pity party. Also calling him out on the extreme lies that were just so obvious made him lash out in the most vicious ways. Thankfully I only lost two years of my life in that relationship but the mental and emotional trauma will never leave me.

They are evil. They are ruthless creatures. Run and dont look back!

'you can be distorted all you want ' how I wish someone had told me how powerful that would have been many years ago and thus saved all the mud wrestling with Narcs, Thank you Dr Carter.

The narcissist that is now my ex really had me snowed. Of course when he met he was such a gentleman but as the years went on life became horrible. We were married for 21 years. I learned he was a liar a cheater and addicted to porn. So I just am so frustrated with the fact I didn’t know what was happening. It wasn’t until I had a nervous break down and was in therapy that I had ever heard the word narcissistic. My therapist wanted to treat him. His response was “ I’m not going because she doesn’t know what she is talking about. After learning about narcissism we separated and then divorced. He left my life with a huge hole in it.

@brianwalsh1401

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately most of us learn the hard way and most people still do learn the hard way. I didn't learn about narcissists until 11 years after I left my ex and quite by accident. I was looking up borderline pd and saw narcissistic pd and thought now what exactly does that mean. It took me about 7 weeks of looking at this info before I had the AHA!!! moment. At least now with the internet people have the opportunity of finding out sooner if they care to look. I doubt I ever would've figured it out. Also I figured out all the rest of them I had or had had in my life too. It was quite overwhelming. I hope you are doing better and healing. I was with mine for 5 years and was shot. I can't imagine 21 years. You must be strong. My sister has been with her npd for 27 years and has attempted suicide. It doesn't look like she is going to make it. These predators are dangerous.

@alenagoddess2400

Жыл бұрын

This sounds very familiar sorry you had to go through that. Once their source of supply dries up or gets stale they're on to someone else.

@KittyKat8946

Жыл бұрын

I’m sorry you went through that for so long. Your story is very same as mine. Same length marriage, everything you described.

@lindagray3915

Жыл бұрын

Wow. Reading your post was reading my life 🫂

@roseisrose8154

Жыл бұрын

Danette, I hope you find a kinship in reading these posts, knowing you are not alone in your experiences. Your relationship sounds so similar to mine. I, too, married the sweetest gentleman. When the inconsistencies in behavior, his word and truth started happening I intentionally chose to believe him - I believe I was projecting my value system (of honesty) onto him. It became maddening. My husband projects himself as upstanding, honest, innocent, appalled by indecency. After yrs of feeling like I was going insane, I found out he was addicted to porn -spent yrs in therapy for that. No difference in behavior. Only until I found these videos have I come to find out about Covert narcissism. And to realize how impactful this is on every aspect of his behavior. Lying, I now realize, is his default mode in every little matter. I believe he’s cheated- there’s a boatload of circumstantial evidence- but I know he’ll never admit it. I’m still married. It’s difficult. But, I understand the hole in your life you feel. Spend a part of each day working on you. You are so very worth it!!

I record most conversations so he can avoid denying he said it. But mostly I started recording so I recall what he said and I'm not crazy. It has been so mentally challenging for years.

I have finally determined the stark truth behind their dishonesty is- they really and truly do not believe they are saying and doing the things they are saying and doing. That is the stark truth. Edited to say… there are actually many “stark truths” that i have personally had to come to about the narcissist’s dishonesty. Believing their own BS is just the one that is probably the starkest for them that we have to face. Other ones for me personally include… -they never really loved me -they actually know exactly what they’re doing when they hurt, confuse, or manipulate other people -they will never change These were the starkest to overcome for me personally.

@aaronkwolfe

Жыл бұрын

I'd go a shade off that by asserting that they have fully convinced themselves that you deserve it. Therefore, they are justified in whatever they say or do.

@AlwaysStampinVideos

Жыл бұрын

@@aaronkwolfe i decided to edit my comment. You can see it. I agree with you whether you agree with me or not. I still believe it all boils down to they believe their lies because they know there is no other way around to deal with the BS. If they don’t believe themselves, who will? They know this. So they honestly (pfft said with a grain of salt) believe they are innocent… because that’s the bottom line lie they tell themselves… so they believe the lie. (edited for typos)

@aaronkwolfe

Жыл бұрын

... and here I was, coming back to edit my own. My understanding has been that they know what they are doing, but I was going to edit by saying that perhaps I don't fully understand and that I needed to study more before opening my big mouth. You have high grace, KellyJean. I do appreciate that.

@AlwaysStampinVideos

Жыл бұрын

@@aaronkwolfe you’re very kind. Of course they know what they’re doing. The stark truth is they actually believe they’re not doing what they’re doing even though they know exactly what they’re doing. And they don’t care who it effects as long as they can get away with convincing others they didn’t know they did or said what they did… as long as they can come out “ok” with someone (anyone… they don’t care who.) It’s literally messed up. When i think about how messed up it is, i have to considered what some of them may have went through and in some of the cases i know personally, they went through some really horrendous things… so of course their lives are going to be messed up and therefore they’re going to live that out. It’s tempting to feel sorry for them. I do to an extent. However, the ones who actually “had it good” and have absolutely no understandable reason why their lives would be so messed up… say they were the golden child and simply spoiled… those are the ones that just kind of make me mad.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Hi Kelly, and you too, Aaron (two of my favorites, BTW). The stark truth I begin with is that to narcissists, facts are irrelevant. When you are an intuitive who wishes to live in a godly, decent manner, their self-absorbed mindset is baffling. Yet, there it is. In a couple of weeks I'm uploading a video about the radical acceptance of the pain created by narcissists. It is something we have to come to terms with. The way to do is is through a radical dedication to the much cleaner alternatives.

You’ve captured my experience so accurately. This video moved me to tears, never have I ever felt so validated. Thank you, doc…. and Gus. 😊

I remember pleading a case with facts to my old boss and he started yelling at me that 11 times he told me this or that. It was so strange. I had no idea what he was talking about. Many times I had no idea what he was talking about. Sttrraaannge guy. I don’t know how else to describe it.

@warmwelkom

Жыл бұрын

I know exactly what you mean. That is gaslighting, they do that for the surroundings, they want people around to think that you are so very stupid. It's gaslighting with lies, very confusing.

@audreydakin8130

Жыл бұрын

@@warmwelkom hmm…. That’s interesting. I literally remembering him coming to my office and telling me something about a tV in our conference I used in client meetings to show their information. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about and then all of a sudden he was watching baseball on it his office. He was moving the TV and somehow trying to sell me on how that would help me, I guess?? LMAO. Like is this ridiculous or what!! He’s still there. I’m not!

One Female Narc I’ve known since mid-nineties called me in the hospital at 10:10pm and got through saying she was my sister. I don’t have a sister! I’m older and respect a certain cut off call time at night. She also in the middle of a conversation started screaming « once a liar, always a liar » when we were discussing my new selection of kitchen cabinets. I was never involved with this woman in a romantic fashion but foolishly helped her out financially. I was scammed as of course she’s gone AWOL but I always had a bad feeling about this woman and I was right. Like Dr. C says about following your gut instinct, I was played and don’t know how she looks at herself. She was a fraud and a total gold digger and expressed she was resentful her elderly parents haven’t helped her out financially. The way she said once a liar, always a liar as if she was so proud of herself. She really dropped her mask! It’s a shame some people are so ugly and I was duped. It‘s sad whenever you do someone a favor it costs you which is why I don’t extend myself any longer and am very mistrusting of everyone.

When confronting my ex with facts surrounding a situation in order to discuss it, he would become irate and tell me that it’s only my opinion of what happened lol. That would be the end of any sort of discussion. It was so frustrating.

@suejacobs8531

Жыл бұрын

That was my entire marriage of 38 years finally getting out

@barbaramoss6917

Жыл бұрын

@@suejacobs8531 we are in the process now of getting a divorce after 22 years. Our 18 year old son died almost 2 years ago and it was really a last straw for me. Life is too short and uncertain to be with someone who doesn’t value you and makes you feel crazy the time.

@katen1228

Жыл бұрын

@@barbaramoss6917 , exactly, I wasted 30+ years because I either didn’t know or was in denial.

@deborahcollins1100

Жыл бұрын

My narcissistic husband whenever I confront him he will usually tell me that he doesn’t even want to hear it! What kind of answer is that?? 😢

@barbaramoss6917

Жыл бұрын

@@deborahcollins1100 ohh yea I’ve gotten that line also lol. Big eye rolls and then “Why do you always have to start?!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

I love Gus. 'I'll just chill here, Dad is working '

I am continuing to have a problem with my friend/tenant on my property. We have been like family for nearly 55 years. Now he has treated my property like a dump and will not leave. He threatened blood shed ! And called me crazy, hallucinating; all types of untruthful things. Just yesterday he texted "keep pushing this and see where you end up". Another harmless threat ? I have to think that he is only growling in hopes that I will be intimidated. I have been on my own for 26 years and was brought up to be strong and not fearful. He is getting disconnected from reality, is my only concern.

They think the world owes them, when in fact they owe victims a he'll of a lot more. 🍒

We were Married 17rs. He thought my middle name was Denise. It's Diane. Ugh! So glad I'm out!❤

Oh, this is bang on, Dr. Carter! Thanks for this video :) I have lived with my husband of almost 30 years like this, never understanding what was going on, what I was doing wrong, trying to "help him" learn how to behave and treat others right, etc, to no avail. Videos like this are soooo helpful for us on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. Thanks to you, and GUS! These videos are priceless!

@cynthiafortier2540

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like you will be helping him for another thirty years. These evil entities are not worth it. They get worse. Save yourself.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

So pleased!

@msjannd4

Жыл бұрын

Why are you still with him?

@lindabell2940

Жыл бұрын

I like being honest, I find that people will say hey at least your honest, 0 yea if i want your money, im a straight up nut, about myself,

@lindabell2940

Жыл бұрын

Hey Gus you are a good dog,your dad is saying hey to us, yes he says you and him, will be ok,until next time, your best friend is your dad, and your a neat dog ,you are taking it easy again i see you in your house, i see your cool couch, you take it easy,Gus, take care of your dad

My ex narcissist has never said " yes I've told little lies before and it was wrong" or "ok I admit it, I did lie and I'm sorry" he does what you said ....changes the truth when he feels like it and says. "I never said that!" ..when he just said it a day ago

This is my father - makes up his own truth then believes his lies.

Yup. Never could pin down anything. Being eidetic made me very difficult and dangerous for them. The biggest thing they beat into me is never tell the truth to a teacher or doctor. In the eighties one of them went to college, did great until a psychology professor put the desks in a circle and demanded each student learn to communicate in such a circle. They took an Fail grade instead. No way would they reveal a single thing. Bizarre.

@msjannd4

Жыл бұрын

Wow. 🤯

You are completely right. I m living with one for more than 35 years. I just put the dots together It is painful. I don’t know what to do.

@mefrench42

Жыл бұрын

I understand. 30 years And my eyes are finally open. Kids sat, get out, but I don't know how!

@ejnix7874

Жыл бұрын

Leave the painful place, somehow

I once asked my mother why she wasn't correcting a false account she'd written of someone and she shrugged and said, "It's not important." It was important to me, but that didn't count.

They agree with you and admit fault to you on Monday, then on Tuesday, they deny that conversation ever happened. When Ive called the narc out, they either agree (but it's not real), or become defensive and attempt to gaslight and attempt to make things my issue. Such a treat!

Like the Doc says "they lie to themselves"

Spot on, as usual. With more and more people behaving in this way, it's perilous to be without an insurance to cover most legal costs. For their love for lies and deceit goes so deep, that they will persecute you even legally, for speaking the truth. Most despicable beings on the planet!

@tahiyamarome

Жыл бұрын

Oh they will exploit every legal avenue as a tool to punish people. They'll perjure themselves to get restraining orders on people they owe money. They have no ethics whatsoever.

@gardenjoy5223

Жыл бұрын

@@tahiyamarome They got to you too, didn't they. So sorry :(

@tahiyamarome

Жыл бұрын

@@gardenjoy5223 actually i started helping people my mother targeted by alerting them to her tactics but i watched her do it to all kinds of people as a kid. No one in our family will speak to her she's screwed them over so badly. I am still trying to clean up the toxicity she spilled all over my life and i've been at it for 30+years. I've made good progress though since i went nc 14 years ago. They use the lives of other people as personal toilets.

@gardenjoy5223

Жыл бұрын

@@tahiyamarome Good for you, for trying to help others out of this too. 'personal toilets' tragic, but funny.

I feel like being active often on social media just provides them (narcs) access to your energy without even having to interact with you. Blocking and deleting is so essential.

It's so twisted. They think their distortions are the truth. There's just no way to get them to see that they'd be happier if they got some help. They are so stuck in their traumatized, three-year-old minds. All I wanted was for my mom to experience true happiness, but all that did was make me the enemy who needed to be put back in his place. How can they be so stuck?

My narcissist I was recently in a relationship with for two years. It was off and on, and the “I’ve got people” smear campaigning and untruths about me were used relentlessly whenever I tried to establish boundaries, space or breakup. We worked together and it ruined my work like for me. I left my job which I loved for five years recently, and moved away in order to get real distance from flying monkeys, triggers, possibility of getting back together and start over. I’m now regretting it somewhat as I feel like I’m over it, and miss my job immensely. Reminding myself to trust that at the time I knew what was best, and that this type of abuse was SUCH big deal and warranted the huge life change I made. Wanted to share my story with people who might understand

I actually laughed out loud at all the truth in this video. I saw all that you described. Upon reflection ( after laughing … Thank God I can laugh about it today) it is really sad they live in such a tiny, sad, world. They miss out on so much. I prefer to be just me, and stay away.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Keep learning, Susan!

If you catch them off guard they tell you the truth.ive learned.🤔💡🔑

I said during an argument , after years of addiction recovery, from now on I’m going to call you on any lie. Looking back (he’s gone now since 1-1-23) that really was the beginning of the end. Your right Dr C , their self reflection is non existent.

How does one cope with a malignant narcissistic grandmother who has stolen your children from you and now are her flying monkeys? I have been in no contact with my mother for two years. She has turned my children against me and made them see her as the victim. I have suffered a great deal of physical, emotional, and mental abuse from her, which I have never shared with my children; I only asked in return for the two of us to work past the generational trauma and further counseling for the family. I was only met with, “I am not going for counseling because I will be the wrong one.” Now, to my knowledge, the smear campaign is harnessing evil that I have never seen or felt. I have lived for 54 years, paying for my mother's and my mistakes; it has almost destroyed me. In my earliest childhood memories, I remember being locked in the basement, forced to stand on the cold concrete floor, and God help you if you sat down because the punishment was an hour more than the original. On the second occasion, I was force-fed and force-fed enough food to feed ten children. My mother's second husband, my stepfather at the time, filled his plate and my plate the same; he was about 250 pounds. I was made to eat every bit of food on that plate, and if I didn't, there were consequences. One incident of force-feeding has played in my head for years. I had eaten too many good candies out of the candy dish, and my stepfather replied,” since you've eaten all the good sweets, you can eat all the bad ones as well,” the dish was full! He replied, “If you throw up, I will get a spoon and shovel it back in your mouth.” As it turns out, these stories of my abuse suffered by my mother and stepfather are being transferred to her flying monkeys as abuse that was put on to my children, which never happened. I'm not entirely sure if I'm looking for an answer or perhaps just some guidance to help heal the wound in my soul. I've never been met with such evil in my life, and I say this deep within me, the soul that is so broken I will be glad when she's dead because then I don't have to look over my shoulder any longer.

@kathiemihindukulasuriya1538

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that you are suffering like this. This happened to someone I know. She got counseling and refused to speak ill of her mother and continued to behave as always towards her children and just had to wait until they saw for themselves what the dynamic was. When you grow up with something, it is very hard to see the water you are swimming in.

@amandaliverpool3374

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing. That was so brave of you! Horrendous abuse. You're in the right place to do some healing. That won't be easy but it's a start. I wish you well 🫂🙏💐

@gailerickson6976

Жыл бұрын

I will pray for you.

@siriastridkristensen4272

Жыл бұрын

🌸

@jenicarter4190

Жыл бұрын

Wow Donna, how horrible. Stick with this channel, healing will come, might be slow and steady but it will come ❤️

Thank you for describing so well that facts are irrelevant. Waste of energi to try.

the Golden Boy. lies and lies and lies. and when he is done, he lies more the next day. and the day after. they never stop laying!

They live in an alternative reality. They actually believe their own lies.

Met up with a church friend from 20 years ago Tuesday night. He's 3 years in to separated status, me at 7 now. Our stories are strangely similar, with one startling difference. He said if his wife were to show at his door, he'd hug her and not let go. I know mine wouldn't dare (own up to the stories she's told in order to justify her leaving), but IF she ever would, my door would not even open. I know better. She would (again) try to convince me that I was the abuser and she was the victim. I choose my friends better than that. She is certainly someone I'd never even date, let alone resume a marriage relationship with. All to say, I still have hope for her, for her sake. She's burning every bridge she's ever relied on, resorting now to a high school classmate from 35 years ago to live with. I mentioned narcissism and gaslighting to him, so he can do his own research. We told stories and sometimes laughed and sometimes sat wide eyed at those stories. We promised to do this again, soon. I am grateful for these streams, Dr.C, and for this group who have been so supportive.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Hi Aaron. some people want to cling to the ideal despite evidence to the contrary. In the end, experience teaches. See you soon on the live feed.

@AlwaysStampinVideos

Жыл бұрын

I bet that reunion was like a free therapy session! Glad you had it :)

@aaronkwolfe

Жыл бұрын

@@AlwaysStampinVideos He's a good guy. Led worship at a church I had dumped in my lap when the pastor left. His wife arranged to have him removed (after I had left) because his "house was not in order" which, ironically, was same thing my wife said to have me never lead another Adult Sunday School at my previous church. Was good catching up. The laughter was indeed therapeutic.

@AlwaysStampinVideos

Жыл бұрын

@@aaronkwolfe i said the same about the narcissist i deal with. He was asked to lead teenagers in a Community Bible Study. I was like… the man has never led his own children to Christ and these people are asking him to lead other peoples’ teenagers?! I didn’t say anything to those who asked him to lead. I said it straight to the narcissist. He asked my opinion before giving them his answer. Them asking him totally puffed him up. And why wouldn’t they ask him?! From where they were standing, they saw two teens from our household who were extremely upstanding kids who walked with God. I know this was not the case with you, Aaron, but behind many “godly” men is a woman who is working her ace off spiritually because she wants to know for sure her kids know Jesus and know how much He loves them. If that “godly” man is a slacker and anything remotely close to a narcissist, he will cash in on that woman’s dedication to the Lord and claim that worldly reward for himself. At least that is how it played out in my case and since the discovery of narcissism, i have met MANY other women that it has happened to them just the same. The narcissist i deal with never spoke the name of Jesus to our kids unless i said something to the extent of “let’s pray.” Even our kids thought it was strange that he was being asked to lead a teen study. Again, the people that asked him had NO clue what was going on behind closed doors. He and i were actually on the verge of the separation at the time as well. So no, he didn’t have his own house in order. When i presented him with the 1 Timothy verses that talk about this, he went back to the people who asked him to lead (without me knowing) and the men in that group said, “That’s not what that scripture means. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” Nope, I’m just a clueless person who hadn’t studied the Bible for almost three decades at the time, lead Bible studies for nearly twenty years, love Jesus with all my heart, and was actually the one who led my own husband to Christ. What do i know?! The narcissist came to me three times asking my opinion about him accepting this position (the last time in complete tears as though a child would beg for candy before dinner… it was bizarre!) Talk about a guilty conscience! I finally had to tell him it was ultimately up to him. I told him I honestly did not care one way or the other BUT if he accepted that position and there was absolutely no change in the way he was leading his own teenagers (our kids, that is,) then God have mercy on him because i was surely going to kick him out for that! Can you guess whether or not he accepted the position?

@aaronkwolfe

Жыл бұрын

@@AlwaysStampinVideos I saw you had replied as I was leaving an usher's meeting at church, but I wanted to get home before I read in in case I got emotional over it. Nobody wants to see that. I do agree that men can get the credit for the work the wife has done. I minister to guys so shackled by their own poor decisions that they feel too hypocritical to even volunteer. But the church still wants (and needs) men. Qualified ones. So there is work to be done there. I'm trying. Fortunately, my wife's only involvement was to post a signup sheet for people to volunteer meals for people who needed meals. I'd feel petty to have spoken out about against her in that. My frustration was that, yes, my house WAS in disorder, but it wasn't caused by me. It was largely imagined by her that I was the cause. I didn't even know about narcissism at the time, yet there I was going gray rock on her even before I knew there was a term for it. So, I submitted to the leaders, knowing that I actually COULD help, but wasn't allowed. On a side note, I left that church when she moved out (kinda went mutual for them and me), and took about 5 or 6 years or so before I was challenged by my new church to make sure I had no root of bitterness. To me, that meant going back to visit that church to make sure I was all right. Turns out, that pastor had retired and a new one was being installed that very day. Timing. Lol. I left knowing that I was ok, and they were free to do whatever they wanted. I felt no need to prove that I was right. Back to your query, KellyJean. I have no idea what he did, but I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that the pride in being asked justified his assent. I mean, the fact that he asked you 3 times (hoping for the correct answer he'd already arrived at) is a big tell. I don't know if that was the demise of your nominal marriage, but I celebrate your freedom. Almost as much as I celebrate my own. Sorry, I'm a guy. We all know how selfish we can be {grin}.

Thank you again Dr. Carter. Your kind demeanor and the content of your videos always makes my day better. Thanks so much.

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

So pleased. Thank you, Kathleen.

You can not reason with unreasonable and deceitful people. Thank you dr Carter 😊 God bless you❤

I have been told by a narc that lying is not a sin so it's ok because the 10 commandments say "Do Not Bare False witness To Thy Neighbor.". Ugh...that one left me speechless.

So wish somewhere/somehow I could get myself out of this fog of nearly 50 years of abuse/neglect/care/normalcy/ craziness cycle. I cannot/will not? Extricate myself.

Would like to hear more about a BOSS that is a narcissists. My Boss is a women owned small business owner and she is a piece of work! These videos help me.

Yes its absolutely exhausting because in no way can you ever pin down anything then he states “you are just a better arguer”…. ..?? I’m thinking-arguing? Because I’m trying to get to the bottom of the circular,messed up gaslighting and outright lies! It’s so confusing I want to cry and I used to get so angry and upset because of the Jekyll and Hyde and the lies, and the sneaky stuff.. everything had to be secretive under the guise of “ do I need to tell you everything? Or oh it’s just fun “.. no not really fun at all Sick manipulation and delusions this past weekend after spending 3 days driving 1260 miles to drop our daughter at school sleeping in same room different beds and his nasty covert behavior all the while playing gem boy to strangers like he’s some sweet innocent “nice guy” makes me sick After he screamed “Shut UP!” to me I had, had it. His hypocrisy and double standards is gross I’m not even allowed to have any intensity in my voice or tone he’s despicable

Once you realize who you are dealing with just assume every word is a lie.

I've had two incidents this week with a "friend" like this. I said to her about can't we clear this up and her instant reply was I don't want to have this conversation! She takes over my other friends and can be nice, charming as anything in a split second,while I'm left feeling confused, frustrated and so angry. It's like she's a playground bully. She can dish it but can't take it. The latest incident happened yesterday so I have an emotional hangover today. This video is brilliant. Thank you Dr Carter. You have a very calming, soothing voice.

@pamb2656

Жыл бұрын

i have been there so many times w/a sister. every time she wanted to talk about a problem she was having i would try to help her and next thing i know she is sending me a hate filled letter. things like this happened so many times. i couldn't understand how she could twist things around so much. many times i would apologize for something i knew i didn't do just to calm her down. she came between relationships with people, some even parents and their children. she is 10 years younger and i didn't really remember but a younger brother told me she did this even as a child with her friends. she would only play with one at a time and turn them against the others. WOW, i stayed with her for so long because she was alone and i felt bad for her. it took her going after my sweet and big hearted daughter for me to i have finally remove her from my life and i don't feel bad about it either. there is no good to come from these kind of relations. they drag you into the dark hole they live in.

@considerthelilies91

Жыл бұрын

FIND A NEW FRIEND

@chillout7206

Жыл бұрын

I hope for your own sake you got her out of your life, no one should put up with that bs