1. use humor, laughter. light hardheartedness when appropriate 2. your actions speak louder than words, be consistent with what you say you're going to do 3. respect their ability to think things through and to think ahead 4. allow and be okay with their anxiety 4.5 make sure they know they are not alone 5. be their number 1 fan (ally) in public, private, and when they aren't present

Counter Phobic 6 here. Great video and highly accurate. As 6s, we overthink any and every scenario to death. So if we bring up a scenario, it’s not to be the wet blanket, it’s to be the voice of reason. Comedy obsessed as well. You definitely study 6s well, Abbey. 👏🏼

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

Glad it resonated with you!! My sister is a 6 and I love her SO MUCH and spend lots of time with her so I’ve had a lot of opportunity to study 😅😂

I’m a 6w5 married to a 7w8 and I love & appreciate him so much 💕 I try to be mindful of when I know I’m spiraling & he’s a constant joker who just loves me 🥰

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

I love this sm 😭 thank you for sharing!!

@writingmelody

Ай бұрын

@@AbbeyHowe anytime! Thank you for your videos 🥰

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

@@writingmelody thank you for watching 😊

As far as cheering everyone on, I was at my husband’s masters/phd graduation and I was cheering for all the people who didn’t have anyone cheering for them. There were a few other people doing that, I wonder if they were 6’s like me 😂

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

I love this 😭

I am a 6w5. These things you describe are so spot on for me. I think my favorite was the reminder that it is ok to be anxious. It can be so hard to be ok with all of these hard, strong feelings and thoughts that constantly swirl around. No one wants to be the debbie downer all the time... or even just the voice of reason. It can be exhausting to be "that" person. So being reminded that feelings are ok and that what we see/feel/think is valuable is huge. And so spot on about how much actions matter over words.

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

absolutely 👏 thank you for sharing your perspective as a 6w5 and I'm really happy that this resonated with you.

So so accurate😅 my #1 criteria when dating was the person had to be funny😅😂😂. Now I know why lol😮. Being a 6 can be mentally exhausting so humor helps immensely-as does therapy!!!

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

exactly!! it's so important for type sixes to have in their lives

Holly molly... No joke, this video is a synchronicity to me. My partner is an enneagram type 6 . I am a 4, and lately, I had some troubles with managing my emotions and insecurities which led to a major conflict. I reflected all day and thought of something to show him my support despite my struggle to not be overwhelmed by my emotions. And then your video came to me. The universe works in mysterious ways. 🙏 Thanks Abby

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

So cool!! It makes me feel so happy that this was helpful to you. And I’m planning on making one of these for all 9 types so you’ll have a 4 one to show your partner 😊

My type 6 best friend lost their job unexpectedly about 3 weeks ago and has been in a tailspin since. Not only have they lost their financial stability, they also identified strongly with the mission of their former employer (non-profit) and they were the workhorse of their team. I hope they find something else soon, and their former employer made a HUGE mistake.

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

that's so upsetting!!!! ugh, I'm so sorry for them. Not only is losing a job stressful for everyone, but for a 6 who has committed to something like that... absolutely devastating. thank you for loving them and supporting them in the way that you are. 💜

Thank you so much for this, Abbey. I am married to a 6 struggling with depression and this is very helpful.

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that it was helpful for you. I know it can be so difficult to support a loved one through depression. You just want to take it away from them, but all you can do is love them. I hope that this gave you some tools to do that. 💜

I'm a 7 with a 6 wing, also ENFP. My super bouncy, busy mind comes up with lots of fodder for my 6 wing to warn people about. My brain automatically runs through every possible, and sometimes impossible, scenario. It's different with my husband who's a 5 with a 6 wing, also an INTP. If he can't find the logic then he fights that outcome. I counter that just because it probably won't happen doesn't mean it COULDN'T happen. 😀

I love your videos. Thank you! Six here. I mostly agree with your list. I love your marriage vows! The top of the suggestions is to be my number one ally (prefer "ally" over "fan," because to me "ally" means it's a united force, we have each other's backs)--being allies all the time, and not back stabbing or gossiping about each other. That ties along with words and actions matching up--that's also being an ally. I don't think the term "devil's advocate" is accurate but I'm not positive about that... When I think of devil's advocate, i think of someone who is interested in showing another side to things (and sometimes for entertainment or to be annoying); whereas, sixes actually think things through and are believing in what they are presenting. So it's more about respecting their thinking abilities and trusting they actually have thought it through. Humor: I would recommend being very sensitive with this; I don't know if this is accurate for all 6s, but sometimes people trying to make light of things or making jokes feels like mockery and insincerity, and dissociation, as such I can feel like I'm not being taken seriously. I suggest first making sure you're understanding the six, and articulate that you are (this comes across as loyalty); and then the six can relax and laugh. If I can relax and laugh, that is a really good sign that I feel safe (which can entail that I feel secure and safe because I'm not expecting anything out of the relationship, in the case of strangers or customers or acquaintances)

So abbey at one time you said one of your parents was a 6 ,did it ever feel to you like they were constantly thinking to themselves “what’s something abbey might do that I don’t want her doing “& then without you saying anything “abbey don’t do this”& it was something you would probably do?

@AbbeyHowe

Ай бұрын

Yes! So I thought my Dad was a 6, but now we are thinking he’s actually a 3. However, he definitely has a worst-case scenario brain!! But to be honest, I was the oldest child- responsible and introverted. So it was probably more my siblings he worried about 😂