“Your story has to be sad enough to gain sympathy but not so sad that it makes you seem beyond help. Just critical enough to inspire change, but not so much that it actually criticizes systemic structures. Just honest enough to seem real, but not so unfiltered that it creates discomfort.” It’s another instance of having to sacrifice authenticity for marketability, which facilitates a kind of schizophrenic break between who we are and who the world wants us to be. Some folks end up completely sacrificing themselves in this way; others resist and get shunned. Artists walk this line, but art is far from a guaranteed living. Great talk!

@environmentalnews6040

Жыл бұрын

Censorship?

@keeptaiwanfree

Жыл бұрын

well said!!

@PiaRxxxx

Жыл бұрын

This is such a great comment, thank you for putting it that way!

@pumitriii6160

Жыл бұрын

Very well put. I shouldn't despise writing personal statements or doing job interviews but I do because it feels so inauthentic

@Astro2024

Жыл бұрын

Good take

I refused to write about my trauma and wrote a regular essay and applied to EA to a few schools, got rejected. Rewrote my essay about a particular trauma and reapplied to different schools.. got accepted into all of them. Also, my counselor kept encouraging me to write about "traumatic" things that hadn't impacted me at all. For example, I was encouraged to write about my dad's cancer. But my dad is okay? Overall, college applications was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.

@abbyabroad

Жыл бұрын

Wow, thanks for sharing.

@altmosetz_01

Жыл бұрын

At that young age how many people really have gone thru deep negative experiences that calls for great resilience & from which they have gained great insights into life situations?

@chazzitz-wh4ly

Жыл бұрын

Nothing cheapens trauma like everyone having to market their trauma hoping it is enough to beat out other candidates who are also doing the same.

@Sumflowers

Жыл бұрын

Same here, I couldn’t bare my trauma during high school to write about it and I got rejected for seeming “normal” and not talking about my trauma. Such a dumb process.

@HeyyyitsBell

Жыл бұрын

@@chazzitz-wh4ly yeah you hit the nail on the head

I’m from the U.K. This is truly amongst the most bizarre things I have ever heard of. I find it ethically inappropriate and traumatising in and of itself, especially the fact that this is expected of an adolescent. It took me 45 years to even realise and understand what I went through as a child.

@eb33

Жыл бұрын

i know right! I've done the UK version of this process and simply wrote about my academic passion, its seems so oddly unrelated to talk about trauma

@asterismos5451

Жыл бұрын

I'm from Canada (same as her) and I find this weird too! I'm from Ontario and not British Columbia but I don't know, none of the universities here seemed to require any essays.... Definately a weird phenomenon, one I thought was just American.

@kayzeaza

Жыл бұрын

I’m American and about to apply to a university in Wales. The representative I spoke to about apply specifically told me to avoid giving some philosophical essay about my struggles. Instead I should focus on why I chose to study in Wales and what I as an individual can add to the school/community

@eb33

Жыл бұрын

@@kayzeaza oh for sure yeah, the advice I got was 80% academic and 20% personal. Its still about you, but in a professional academic capacity.

@kartgal

Жыл бұрын

Luckily the essay is completely optional. I always tell teens to not submit an essay.

What’s most important for future engineers, mathematicians, scientists, and doctors is how much they can trauma dump in their college admissions essays.

@okwatever3582

Жыл бұрын

So true. The admissions just want to only accept the traumatized even if it is a fabricated story. Just an appeal to pathos I guess I should start making myself look pitiful in front of admissions to get into my future studies lol

@ohsweetmystery

Жыл бұрын

@@okwatever3582 It is how they allow the unqualified, not-very-smart students into their universities because there is no other way they could get in.

@mcblahflooper94

Жыл бұрын

I have no experience with admissions but that's not entirely accurate according to the talk. It is dubious and untestable whether or not trauma dumping correlates with higher acceptance rates, but advisors still nonetheless push for students to write them, and colleges don't adequately inform students and advisors that it's a treacherous topic. We can say it's bad that students are pushed into writing oversimplified stories about sensitive topics, we can say it's probably a bad way to judge a student, but you can't single out admissions as the sole reason this is happening (at least not anymore).

@AkuraTheAwesome

Жыл бұрын

Don't forget about the rote-memorisation that we test through exams. Because apparently remembering keywords and learning exam technique is prioritised over actually understanding the topic.

@SendDesantisToGitmo

Жыл бұрын

If you don't have anything to trauma dump by the time you're applying for grad school you're doing something wrong (jk)

“Sometimes a sucky thing just really sucks. And asking students to prove how they turn their pain into progress ignores this truth and falls prey to the toxic positivity narrative that everything happens for a reason, ignoring the very valid resentment and anger that many victims still feel.”

@leelaindingold6917

Жыл бұрын

I actually don't quite understand - what harm does that actually do? The university ignores that, but the students don't - I don't quite understand what Tina is trying to convey here TBH.

@altmosetz_01

Жыл бұрын

​@@leelaindingold6917 Shouldn't the Uni consider aspirations, achievements & diverse experiences of a person that adds meaning to the person overall + reflects who they are & can be ? That would be a forward looking approach. Negative experiences are personal & should be left to family, friends & therapists . Besides, just because a person has shown resilience in one situation in life does not necessarily mean they will be the same in almost all life situations.

@leelaindingold6917

Жыл бұрын

@@altmosetz_01 Indeed they should. I was trying to comprehend why universities like trauma essays - so I came up with the explanation that they believe experiences like these are a good selection criteria for "good students". Come to think of it though, I think another reason trauma essays are so useful is because they are a rather good indication of "goodness" in a student when this student has no external merits. This is helpful when deciding which students of low socioeconomic status to admit, since these students have less access to the things you mentioned (aspirations, achievements, diverse experiences).

@syawkcab

Жыл бұрын

​@@leelaindingold6917 that not everything happens for a reason, not all trauma was good for us. By perpetuating this narrative, we pressure actual victims into feeling like they should be glad about they're trauma when they don't

@deiov

Жыл бұрын

@@syawkcab It's not about being glad about your traumua, it's about the fact that resentment and feeling into a place of anger destroys you as individual. For many people, meaningless tramua is much harder to wrap your head around.

We are selling our worst memories to colleges who could reject us because they’ve heard the “overused” immigrant story. These are real people who’ve over come tremendous obstacles, and we are made to feel like we are only the trauma story we’ve shared.

@strugglingcollegestudent

Жыл бұрын

Trauma stories are a stupid way to determine who gets into college.

@BostonBruins-dc4zg

Жыл бұрын

​@@John.Flower.Productions and finally it doesn't matter what race you are, human beings are inherently trash for the most part

@TheAminoamigo

Жыл бұрын

@@John.Flower.Productions Being descended from people who "worked/sacrificed to build these nations" has little bearing on your own character or work ethic. Just as you are not responsible for the sins of your forefathers, you neither deserve their songs and praises.

@lenaramoon4617

Жыл бұрын

@@John.Flower.Productions such as who? The Chinese who were forced to work on the railroads in the west, the africans who were enslaved, the native Americans who were pushed from theirlands and stripped of their culture, the latinos who are hired for cheap labor, the filipinos who jump started labor rights for farm workers? And the many more people who are Americans that contributed to the society as a whole. Who exactly owns trauma?

@alienvomitsex

Жыл бұрын

​@@lenaramoon4617 Irish slaves famously built American railroads aside the Chinese, too.

Only certain “traumas” are okay to talk about too. I could’ve never talked about my anxiety attack that got me hospitalized or my sexual assault. I could never mention my actual deep trauma because it’s way too personal and complex for a 600 word essay. If I mentioned my mental health battle in raw honesty I’d be rejected even if it had a “happy ending”. I’d be seen as instable despite my long records of excelling in school and professional work.

@xbabu142x

Жыл бұрын

This is the true tragedy in this nonsense practice. It's done by people in admissions who need to feel like a savior that they made this judgement and enormous difference. They can't fathom the bleak worthlessness, the constant panic attacks, the hyper awareness, and trust issues that arise from most traumas. You shouldn't have to open up about trauma unless it's to a professional you trust or you're doing it for awareness and helping other people overcome has always been my take on this stuff. All the admissions stuff I have sat in on have been for higher education or professional college multi-interviews and that is a whole other adult sitting in front of me. I am not anywhere near qualified nor trained to unpack trauma so I don't .

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

It is like every conversation in life; you can't just dump your deepest thoughts and worries to whatever person you meet in life; you have to strategically choose what to share and what not to share depending on the person and the situation to foster the strongest and most rewarding bonds with others. The same is true for college admissions. There is nothing inherently problematic with cherrypicking a fitting story to tell, as long as it is authentic. Although with everyone lying in their essays, you feel pressured into also lying and fabricating stories that paint yourself in a better light. But that in itself has nothing to do with this genre of admission essays. Whatever genre you are writing, this peer pressure always exists.

@cameronschyuder9034

Жыл бұрын

​@@haomingli6175 Just because this pressure exists everywhere else doesn't mean it doesn't need to be addressed or modified. I see that you've made multiple comments on this thread and I see where you're coming from. I agree with some of your points, I don't feel that this should be done away with completely. But the way the questions are worded in applications ("share something that has affected you greatly" or something like that) can feel heartwrenching because people don't want to lie. People don't want to fake themselves and cherry pick stuff that didn't actually affect them as great as what they actually went through, and if cherrypicking is encouraged, then colleges should be honest and state that they're not looking to see who *you* are, but rather an instagrammable photo of you, if you will. The whole point is that people should not have to blatantly lie and present a self that they feel disconnected from

@komyn27

Жыл бұрын

This was my issue. I was also still actively living my trauma, so there was no happy ending. I don't remember what I wrote about, but I know it wasn't raising my sisters after my parents divorce while dealing with PTSD (which was undiagnosed at the time anyhow). Honestly I'm not sure how I managed to accomplish as much as I did in high school when I look back.

@alexelion7084

Жыл бұрын

⁠@@haomingli6175 As a notorious oversharer I somewhat disagree. Being very open and vulnerable is definitely not always the best thing. You obviously have to be careful if there are things that could be used against you. There is also a chance that you make people uncomfortable for example by talking about subjects that trigger them, but this can mostly be avoided by trying to read social cues or simply asking whether it is okay/the other person is comfortable with it. I made the experience that it can(!!) be really bonding and many times it makes the other person feel more comfortable to share as well. I think people would be honest about their struggles way more if they felt like it was safe and welcome to do so and just doing that can be like an invitation for others to do the same

At Caltech's student orientation, they had a presentation where they read excerpts of our application essays aloud in front of the whole class. It started off with some pretty cool ones, like people who wrote about their niche hobbies and such, but after a while it became trauma essays one after another. Probably two thirds of the essays they read were of this variety, and they primarily included the parts that talked about the hardship and not the author overcoming it. This made the whole presentation feel pretty awkward and nobody really liked it. The essays were read anonymously but with how small our student population is, it wouldn't have been hard to figure out who was behind each one. I understand it's important to recognize traumatic things happen to those around us, but I agree with Tina that people shouldn't feel forced to talk about it in college admissions essays. The fact that so many of my classmates chose to wrote about these experiences and Caltech's choice to highlight them clearly shows that this is being actively encouraged by universities.

@gejost

Жыл бұрын

The book Freakonomics comes to mind. I bet many of the essays where fiction as if that was merit. The process sucks because in most cases, it's not related to the field of study or a person's ability to it.

@coltonjohnston2927

Жыл бұрын

​@@gejost Yeah I wouldn't doubt it if some of them were at least embellished some. I don't remember much of the details from the essays as it has been 4 years, but they ranged from the immigrant story to cancer to family issues, and there was even one or two talking about abuse. The students are choosing to write about these topics already shows the flaws in the system, and they should never feel like they have to further dramatize the stories.

Another thing I want to point out that Tina Yong brought to mind: these types of essays seem to force the implication that by the age of 17, 18, 19, you've A) Been through something tragic or challenging, and B) Have found a resolution to it....by the end of high school. Some things we go through in life take decades and sometimes our entire lives, to "get over". This application process (for those schools that use this screening method) puts you on the clock by saying, "OK, in the four years you have in high school, you need to fix the problems in your life and then write down how you did it, so that we can critique YOU and decide if you are worthy."

@leelaindingold6917

Жыл бұрын

That's actually an interesting point - could it be that the universities are precisely looking for these kinds of "lucky" students because they are the ones that they think stand out? Schools are looking for the best students, no matter how you define "best" to be. Maybe they think a student has, as you said, a)been through something challenging and b)conquered it are "better" and therefore should be selected over a normal student that typically pursues his/her interests?

@beachlife8367

Жыл бұрын

@@leelaindingold6917 Hmmm, that is something to think on...

@altmosetz_01

Жыл бұрын

​​@@leelaindingold6917 On one hand is a person who has shown resilience in handling a victim situation. On the other there's a person who has achievements & aspirations plus varied experiences that helped them shape these. On a one to one option who should be considered?

@DC-fq6mv

Жыл бұрын

I remember attending college for theatre years ago and one day our teacher confessed that she found it challenging teaching us because we had not been "through" anything yet. Our life experience in relationships to playing many of the characters in specific plays was limited. We had attended prom or had our first date or breakup, but had not yet "lived" through several aspects of life enough to make us well-rounded actors who have experiences to draw upon. It was an interesting revelation from a teacher who was paid to teach you, but was also compelled to express her honest opinion.

@doodledude4900

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! I haven't experienced something traumatic or challenging in such a dramatic way that I could write about it. I was thinking about what I have overcome but really life is just ongoing and i have been fortunate to not have had to "go through something". And aspects that some people think would be significant just don't bother me and would be inauthentic to say it was something in need of overcoming or working through. just strange to think that you are expected to have had dramatic or highly emotional things happen and be dealt with in your life by 17/18.

There was a news article 5 years ago where someone trauma-dumped about his mother's death and got into Penn. But later when the school called the house about something, it was the mom who answered the phone; they investigated it and found he had just fabricated his entire essay, and so revoked his admission. I remember hearing about that and realizing how the admissions process cheapens trauma, that someone who didn't experience the event could write just as convincingly as someone who did.

@strugglingcollegestudent

Жыл бұрын

The obvious solution is to stop writing about trauma. Straight up just say “students please write about your passions and not trauma essays”

@plssendhelp6635

Жыл бұрын

Do you have a link for the article? I already tried looking for the article but couldn't find it.

@tommyrq180

Жыл бұрын

Trauma dumping is endemic to comments sections. It’s not just trauma dumping, but sympathy fraud. It causes people, especially women, to feel sympathy and worse yet, to feel obligated to publicly gush sympathy in an escalating spiral of virtue signaling. It’s part of the feminization of America. Eliciting sympathy becomes who you are, which of course has mental health implications. Because men do not “share trauma” like women, it obviously favors women and feminizes men who know they must have a trauma story to keep pace. It’s a manipulative race to the bottom of the brain stem that substitutes for actual academic or human potential. 😢

@EvanLeeds

Жыл бұрын

@@John.Flower.Productions I'm not sure about this. The racial group that low-acceptance rate universities have to reject the most due to race is Asians. As a demographic, they need the highest SAT scores to get accepted, compared to whites, latinos , blacks

@BostonBruins-dc4zg

Жыл бұрын

@@John.Flower.Productions so you think American Indians shouldn't get scholarships after having been slaughtered and having their land taken away?

My niece was doing her college applications a few years ago, and struggling with the essays for just this reason. She is the daughter of educated, successful parents, had experienced no money problems, no health problems, hardly any problems at all, really, and had been born and raised in a fairly idyllic, almost all-white, small town in New England, with no bad parts. My sister told me that at one point my niece looked up from the gripping application essay she was trying to craft at the kitchen table in their delightful home, and wailed: "Mom, WHY didn't ANYTHING ever happen to MEEEEEEE?"

@andreaweber8059

Жыл бұрын

Did she get into a good college?

@xgalphaz

Жыл бұрын

nah she’s lucky

@anthonypearsall5851

Жыл бұрын

@@andreaweber8059 Well, yes, that she did, a college with a Name that always opens doors in life. (Not Harvard! But a top-ten university all the same.) It was almost foreordained, almost predestined from birth, that despite her lack of any trauma that wasn't laughably small, she was the kind of blue-chip kid who would "slot in" at the school she eventually chose or some other place like it. She graduated and went straight to work in investment banking on Wall Street. Perfect, just perfect.... I mean, she didn't ASK to be born smart, white, well-off, and well-coached, but since that was her fate in life, she had to make the best of it, right? LOL

@VedJoshi..

Жыл бұрын

@@anthonypearsall5851 you will be surprised how many mediocre-intelligence people get into top tier universities just because they went to high school in the "right" zip code... she may have been born well-off and well-coached, but that is no evidence of her being born smart... I know this because I went to both Princeton and Penn (UPenn), and seen first hand the intellectual capabilities of the average student from the background you have outlined

@likewhatizzy1323

Жыл бұрын

@@anthonypearsall5851 it’s not necessarily a bad thing, she can’t control where she was born but to make up for it she could talk about how she used her privilege to help or impact others

There it is! My child refused to write about his traumas (and he had them) because he said that it wasn't what defined him. He spoke of his aspirations, love of learning, and desire to be a force for good in the world. Despite having gotten 1580 on his SAT, having above-average grades at a rigorous charter school, excellent extracurricular and community involvement, and very strong letters of recommendation, he did not get into any of the top schools he applied to. Did not make sense, IMO, aside from his essays in which he refused to focus on his trauma. He is a super decent kid, very compassionate and giving, and always scored in the top 1% of every standardized test he took. WHY don't top universities want a person like him, I can't understand.

@alanlu5148

Жыл бұрын

its not that they don't want him. its the fact that there are probably tons of other people equally as qualified as he is, but his name just was not drawn from the hat. esp since 100k+ ppl are applying to unis nowadays

@carolinenhitran6327

Жыл бұрын

For top universities, you have to be CRAZY ambitious to get in. Every good university student worth their salt now has good grades, loads of volunteer hours and a track of extracurriculars. You have to stand out to get accepted to the top.

@user-rx2lx5ju9t

Жыл бұрын

Many universities (especially top since they have super heavy workload) want to know that the person can deal with difficulties, because they don’t want people to drop out after first exam session. So they just want to know that your every success wasn’t easy thing for you. But I completely agree, that forcing people to talk about their trauma isn’t helpful. Also, I talked with the recruiter from top 20 university in the world and he said that the point of this essays is to show that you are able communicate with other students. Maybe, in his essays they saw some traits that on their opinion would interfere with effective communication 🤷‍♀️

@gabrielgarcia7554

Жыл бұрын

Understand that these schools are incredibly selective for a reason, despite having all of these attributes it is still hard to get in. Also it depends on the specific program, for example if he were to apply for a history major at Stanford that may be “easier” than computer science for example. I hope he’s doing alright and just know that the academic institution is only one part of the equation, he’s going to be successful regardless of his alma mater. Also not to mention he can always try to transfer over if he really thinks it is worth it later. Entering these prestigious schools as a transfer student is considerably easier compared to entering from HS. Best of luck.

@isabel-db6jd

Жыл бұрын

Applications to the elite colleges jumped by about 20,000 when they went "test-optional" because of COVID, but no extra spots were made available. Acceptance rates dropped to below 3 or 4% for the Ivies, Stanford, etc. It's not that the colleges would not want someone like your son -- it's that at some point it becomes a bit of a lottery. If only one application can be picked from every 30-35 applications, and 90% of the applicants are students with stats similar to your son, then what can any one student expect? Students and parents need to get more realistic about college applications and remember that you don't need an Ivy League name to have a great educational experience. A trauma essay would not have magically gotten him accepted. College admissions officers are NOT asking for trauma essays, but they're certainly getting them.

"Quantify your traumatic, potentially unresolved experiences in 500 words." As a current student, I thought this was very good. Thank you.

@connorsullivan1855

Жыл бұрын

Honestly, as someone who hasn't had to write a college application in over 10 years, that still resonated with me. One of my parents passed away when I was young, but I never talked about that in application essays, because there wasn't some nice neat narrative about how that experience made me into the person I am today and I still couldn't tell you how, if at all, it affected my performance as a college student. I get colleges want students with the ability to be introspective but it seems like it favors students who lives would make a good coming of age novel, not necessarily students who would are emotionally mature and will do well in college.

I’m currently a junior in high school and I am fighting brain cancer so it’s basically been predetermined what my essays are going to be about but I just keep wondering what would have I have written about otherwise if I hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer. It’s so stressful and I wish the college admissions process made the process easier by not forcing their applicants into a corner.

@embrio.

Жыл бұрын

Gosh! Just my opinion, but you should consider framing your personal essay exactly as you did this post.

@ngndnd

Жыл бұрын

@@embrio. nah their changes will just decrease. Universitys dont care about the truth. They just want to hear the saddest sob story

@whoaaa

Жыл бұрын

broooo why did I go “lucky🍀” 💀💀😭😭 I hate this

@Leviathan1216

Жыл бұрын

I got sick in my junior year of college, but I find myself having similar thoughts about when I graduate in a month. It's like I'm mourning the person I used to be, along with the person I could've been. I won't be able to hide the truth of my illness and how it will affect my capabilities when I'm applying to jobs, but I'm not in a place when I can say I've "gotten through it" or "learned a valuable lesson" to convince a company that I have value. I'm still sick, and it still sucks. There's a difference between "perseverance" and "survival", and I shouldn't need to make up some bullshit "silver lining" or lesson about the latter just so it can be exploited by capitalism.

@johnzhao4641

Жыл бұрын

Good luck with the treatment my man, you got this!

no one should have to "beg" to get an education. period.

@l.9031

Жыл бұрын

THIS!

@basicallyalandershowitz

Жыл бұрын

This comment confusingly implies that education at a prestigious liberal arts university or prestigious research university or literally colleges in general is the same thing as education period and completely missed the point of multiple aspects of the argument made. The argument is not that no one should have to justify entry into such an institution, it's that such a justification should some legitimate metric rather right by circumstances.

@timallison8560

Жыл бұрын

@@basicallyalandershowitz no. the argument is that no one should have to beg for a quality stimulating education that surely teaches the value in understanding bias and supporting truth and science, in the united states of america. period.

@joeybasile1572

Жыл бұрын

@@timallison8560 Never have to beg to go to a community college. period.

@aimlessexplorer6430

Жыл бұрын

@@joeybasile1572 What job can you get with a community college degree?

As a first gen, closeted-gay person from a 3rd world country, I had a myriad of reasons to make my personal essay a "trauma essay" but I chose not to. I not only got rejected from every college I applied to, I let it define my self-worth. I had straight A grades, genuine extra curriculars, and a passion to study. I would never forgive college admissions for letting me experience something like that

@damonmusha6504

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear about that. Your hs guidance counselor should have advised you to look at some safety schools. You can use this as motivation. Perhaps start at cc, do amazing, save some $ and then apply to that “dream” school as a transfer student.

@FortunaFavored

Жыл бұрын

@@damonmusha6504 how do you know they didn’t apply to “safety” schools? They said they got rejected from every school they applied to. Even so called “safety” schools reject applicants.

@HeyyyitsBell

Жыл бұрын

@@damonmusha6504yes, I would second going the CC route as someone who’s doing just that. Now I’m transferring to my dream school and saving about 80k in the process.

@SandraElsaSanjai

11 ай бұрын

This is my exact same situation. First gen closeted gay who went through some stuff i could genuinely write a story on, and I couldnt get in. There was only one essay where i talked about my medical conditions and struggles because it was actually relevant to what fuelled my passion for the field. And that essay got me a scholarship. Its completely turned me off from what scholarships and these admissions were really about

@linxto2518

10 ай бұрын

It's not worth it. These "prestigious" universities will never have your best interests at heart.

Curious how university intellectuals want to hear about your trauma - yet do nothing about it for the individual

@videovoidtv

Жыл бұрын

well if they accept them to a university then they actually are doing something.

@billbradley4878

Жыл бұрын

@@videovoidtv He said doing nothing about it, meaning nothing about addressing the trauma and working through it. At best you could say they can use university services to get therapy, but of course most of the people getting into a decent college can probably do that anyway. Just admitting them to the school is not the kind of action the original poster was talking about though.

@Jmpwfdpdl

Жыл бұрын

Academics and researchers will wax poetic about how certain people are marginalized and disenfranchised, and then go to dinner parties where they talk about how they got their work published in some journal while eating cheese on toothpicks and drinking wine.

@stormtrooper253

Жыл бұрын

I agree. I remember taking a creative writing class and got so uncomfortable with the way our professor wanted us to disclose our traumas to her and the class so we'll be able to write from them. I wanted to write a different story based on my life, but she just wanted us to focus on the traumatic details more.

@RaiderNation126

Жыл бұрын

It's not always a problem that needs to be fixed. It's often time, just a reason for some characteristics.

Imo Tina Yong has hit on something so profound that I’d be surprised if she even realizes how many people this will impact. I hope we see/hear more of this subject. Imo our culture is currently addicted to trauma telling and it should stop.

@carsonhunt4642

Жыл бұрын

Yep, everyone wants to be a victim nowadays.

@magnetotwister

Жыл бұрын

I wouldn’t call it trauma telling, but the victim mentality. Who will win the victim parade but the one who claims to have suffered the most. What we need to work on is our stories of overcoming traumas to conquer this victimhood

@altmosetz_01

Жыл бұрын

Bottomline- Peddle your worst experiencs for important gains. Your aspirations & achievements that should define who you are & the possibilities for your future are not of importance . Aspirations & achievements make a confident you. Worst experiences crack the confidence and are a reminder of being victimised/ of suffering.

@syawkcab

Жыл бұрын

​@@magnetotwister you're missing the point. That's exactly what these common essays are about. Stories of people overcoming trauma. Even if they haven't

@23washere99

Жыл бұрын

@@magnetotwister wtf dude that’s literally the opposite of what she was saying in the video. Trauma is continual. Past trauma still affects us; we can still experience traumatizing encounters in the present and future. It never goes away. Universities are creating a toxic environment by assuming that everyone already has their trauma sorted out or that something good can be gained from it, when in reality, sometimes we’re still struggling with it. Sometimes we don’t learn anything good from it. It’s important that we as a society recognize that. We shouldn’t avoid the topic of personal trauma altogether, but we should stop turning it into a contest or some sort of lesson to be learned.

This honestly makes me proud and sad. I got into the most prestigious communications school as a black man. I had great grades and SAT score, but I talked about how Sonic the Hedgehog changed my life in my College Application. I talked about my growth as a person, learning baout different culures, seeing similarities between Sonic animation and anime, learning the similarities, growing as an artist, and learning more about cultural cues and societal changes. Essentially, I took a seemingly blase experience and made into a story of growth and learning. THATS what I think applicants essays should be about. Trauma Essays are a great way to give admissions officers power over trauma narratives. What trauma is good enough to be in my school?

@AmyLazer

Жыл бұрын

That's incredible. I wanted to write about how pokemon changed my life but now I have to write about my experiences as a first generation half asian person. This is very irritating.

@gejost

Жыл бұрын

Your essay sounds like it was cool but i think you should have bern admitted and your other points, which were also fine, apparently. Essays based on life experiences are likely to be fiction and basically amounts to some random oerson judging people based on whatever life experiences they have.

@mkadoza

Жыл бұрын

@@AmyLazer Friend, write about Pokemon. Our generations write about video games the way older people write about books. They are experiencial art.

@mkadoza

Жыл бұрын

@@gejost Dont go so deep. We dont need any more hyper sensitive analysists of anectdotes.

@AmyLazer

Жыл бұрын

@@mkadoza the problem is university atp are businesses and do not care about the students' passions or interests. they care about being able to market your trauma and claim so they can claim that they're inclusive

I think this is a symptom of colleges becoming more competitive and having to use more metrics to gauge your worthiness. They definitely should make their essay prompts more academics focussed (that is why you are going there after all), since a lot of application prompts are pretty upfront about them wanting to hear about your "marketable" deep thoughts.

@Smytjf11

Жыл бұрын

I don't think the education is why students are there any more, really. A relative is applying for colleges and we're shocked. The trade schools are still... schools, but the universities only talk about "the college experience". Lots of talk about parties and sports, very little focus on academics. I'm not saying they don't also provide an education to the willing, but even twenty years ago it was starting in this direction. It's so damn expensive because the universities feel the need to add so much overhead. I'm glad I didn't end up in Academia.

@strangerdanger8831

Жыл бұрын

Even that might be a misstep exactly because of what you said - that is why you are going. It's normal that 17-18 year old students don't always have the most groundbreaking ideas, and we're asking for competency when we should be asking for curiosity.

It’s not even about the fact that universities expect 14-17 yr olds to have gone through some life changing event but that they expect them to have overcome it just in time so that their mid-year report or grade 11 marks are up. It’s as if they want the trauma to happen in a timely manner which in retrospect is an oxymoron. Also highly selective colleges even expect students to have maintained an A grade even when suffering which isn’t possible. For instance (I speak with experience) if someone had anorexia or similar tendencies, their focus clearly won’t be on academics. It’s not that the child doesn’t want to excel but their mind is literally pre-occupied with other thoughts related to food or body.

@Leviathan1216

Жыл бұрын

The system of progression we live under categorizes those who don't "overcome" their trauma in a timely manner as failures. Even when there are individual professors/employers who encourage you to prioritize your health; the larger educational/occupational structures only allow them to have so much empathy. If you don't become sufficiently productive within a timeframe that the systems determine to be acceptable (from their apathetic and profit-oriented perspective); you are worthless. It's fucked

@Grace-jb7me

Жыл бұрын

@@Leviathan1216 this!!!!

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

@@Leviathan1216 There is no avoiding that the best colleges will want the best applicants. You better demonstrate greater capabilities in overcoming difficulties than others to stand a chance in the admission process. If you don't like this, there are plenty of colleges that are far less selective and you can get in easily, without spending all this effort.

@morley364

Жыл бұрын

@@haomingli6175 But someone who rushed their healing process and believes they're totally okay now (even if they aren't) isn't inherently better, or more likely to do better at school. The schools have no way of verifying if the person is really "over it" and won't struggle. And knowing that 1. resolving something traumatic at such a young age is less likely than them still working through it and 2. they are putting them in a situation that incentivizes them to lie or misrepresent their journey and their healing, any school believing and even encouraging these narratives of 'I went through horrible trauma and bounced back' is disingenuous and misguided in any attempts to sort out who has 'completely recovered'. It's difficult to see how this could possibly result in consistently better applicants who reliably have "great capabilities in overcoming difficulties".

@HF-tj8db

Жыл бұрын

I'm from the UK and I feel like our system is flawed but much more straightforward. For me, it was a case of doing a little research into the subject I had applied to study, throwing in some basic achievements and one or two hobbies, and making it seem professional. It felt more relevant to me. Like you say, how can you have both trauma and perfect grades? The US system strongly encourages you to lie, whereas the UK system rewards genuine subject interest more.

This reminds me of something a teacher once said when refusing to grade personal statements: “you pour me your heart and soul, and I say, ‘okay, cool. C+.’”

@frankytanky5076

Жыл бұрын

I love this 🤣

This needed to be said. As someone with Bs and Cs, the only way I’d be able to go to a good college was if I sold my “tragic backstory” in a way that they could parade around, so they could feel good about helping out some traumatized little girl who wanted to escape her small town and save others from similar hardships. I was forced to package my trauma into a neat essay, to the point where I don’t know how else to talk about it.

I wrote a "trauma" essay about being in the hospital on and off for 2 years with a life-threatening illness bc of treatment limitations due to my low socioeconomic status (I'm from the US). This essay got me into a top med school. I still have lingering disabilities from my experience, which have posed a huge obstacle in medical education (which is incredibly ableist). So ironically, the thing (disability, low SES) that got me in is exactly what makes me feel like I do not belong now that I am here. also, I had to write an "autobiography" for one school, which was quite retraumatizing. I ended up being rejected after being on the waitlist for months which hurt much more compared to the other rejections in which I did not have to write this essay.

@hematose

Жыл бұрын

Have you considered the possibility that the practice of medicine is actually harder than med school and that med school serves as a filter to ensure licensed doctors are capable of the job?

@naoko7184

Жыл бұрын

Med school is not ableist. If your disabilities prevent you from doing the required work that is pertinent. When you graduate people’s lives will literally depend on you, and it is not your patients’ duty to make allowances for you, especially if it might jeopardize their health.

@hematose

Жыл бұрын

@@a.wadderphiltyr1559 As a general point, something bad happening to you does not mean that you are owed something good. Not everything can be compensated. Furthermore, claiming something bad happened to you is a lot easier than achieving something good, so if you operate under this logic, you give a huge incentive for people to spend time and energy focusing on grievances in order to get ahead, and taking spots from achievers, instead of competition on the basis of genuinely beneficial merit. If we give up on meritocracy, we are doomed.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@hematose I agree with this in general, but in the case of college admissions "rewarding" trauma to some extent is necessary. Low-income and non-white students are much more likely to experience trauma that impacts their academic performances. If they were able to work past that trauma and do well (though not as well as other privileged students), they should have a chance to explain that in the essay and remain in the pool. Reasoning: 1) They've shown that they're strong people that can bounce back from trauma, 2) these experiences are less and less likely to reoccur through and post-college.

@komyn27

Жыл бұрын

Med school is 1000% ableist, and federal institutions are just starting to look into that fact since COVID. Ignore those saying otherwise in the comments. Your reasonable accommodations are not going to kill anyone either, despite what one of these replies says 🙄 We need more doctors from all walks of life to improve treatment outcomes for everyone. Hang in there if you can; the medical industry will be lucky to have you.

Never thought about it in that way but in high school we were encouraged to speak about our deepest adversities and how it shaped us. I can see how for people who had very normal or healthy upbringings, maybe it did look to them like the oppression Olympics, all these kids trying to portray who had it the hardest.

@billbradley4878

Жыл бұрын

It looks like oppression olympics even to people that did not have very normal and healthy upbringing. It looks like some weird clout chase and I say that as someone that did not have a very normal and healthy upbringing.

@chazzitz-wh4ly

Жыл бұрын

So, a pissing contest.

@lullac6399

Жыл бұрын

@@chazzitz-wh4ly like the saddest pissing contest. Who wants to win a competition for the shittiest upbringing/factors you couldn’t control? A lot of people if it means a better future.

@deenil

Жыл бұрын

This type of thing is a double edged sword. It's important to recognize that achievements under much worse conditions are more impressive than those same achievements under easy conditions. This is why someone 5-8 dunking is more impressive than someone who is 6-8. The amount of work and dedication required is (on average) very different, and essays showcase that sort of stuff, beyond GPA, etc.

@Emily-fm7pt

Жыл бұрын

@Antimatter Pill "My parents suck... the end..."

I am one of those immigrant kids and wrote an essay about my real hunting trauma. As she said in the speech, I actively got the same thought: maybe genuinely acknowledge that I haven't been fully recovered from trauma but strong enough to tell the whole thing will show that I am honest, preserverent, mature human being. And guess what, I got rejected!

@tamannapopko584

Жыл бұрын

Same here

@snowbird7254

Жыл бұрын

same here when i wrote about getting tendonitis/carpal tunnel in high school (it can affect how you do basic tasks) and that i'm not recovered from it i'm still persevering with my hobbies but am wiser now to know how to deal with it and not make it worse (this was for a UC application where it was just one of many mini essays i wrote T_T)

@JesusFlores-rw8ry

Жыл бұрын

I feel you too honestly I think everyone that is in uni needs to speak about how terrible it was to write about our stories. I still got into uni just later since I went to community college.

@krishp1104

Жыл бұрын

Same. Even worse is that part where you ask yourself "Hmm is this trauma too common for colleges to care about? What can I say to get more sympathy points instead?"

@Emmett989

Жыл бұрын

@@krishp1104 Exactly. It feels like someone saying, “Your trauma isn’t good enough”

I think this has, at least partly, a deeper rooted cause in the romantization of trauma, mental illness etc, in our society. I think it's especially prevalent in social media and other forms of media. That experiencing trauma in some way makes you cooler or stronger or better, and you're weak or innocent without experiencing it. It's a completely backwards way of thinking that's not even new, as it helps pass along generational trauma. The "I had it bad and I came out ok" idea some parents have, and feel that their children aren't deserving enough because they have it easier than they did. It’s almost the same process here where you’re not acceptable unless you’ve been traumatized enough.

@ishmamalam1593

Жыл бұрын

100%

@user-os9sd5oe4w

Жыл бұрын

the fact that this is some kind of weird kink or something the older generations have grosses me out. How can you do something like that to the next generation? Everything I've had to experience is things i protect my juniors from. Revenge isn't meant to be enacted on the innocent

As 22 year old recently graduated black girl who wrote two essays for her school and neither was trauma based, I want y’all to know that you can absolutely do this without exploiting yourself. Mines was about passion and how I supported particular kids during my time as a teacher assistant at a university. Join carriculars that interest you and invest yourself as much as a teenager with a balanced life can and lean into that when applying for your program that would likely be in line with that. You’ll do amazing. This trauma baiting crap has to stop. Props to the presenter. She did amazing explaining.

@LacunalFreak

Жыл бұрын

This is the way

@ANonymous-mo6xp

Жыл бұрын

And that going against the grain should have made your essays a unique breath of fresh air to the admissions staff. Well done on your part.

@LowDinksHijinxPickleball

Жыл бұрын

[extra]*curriculars

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

Doesn't that show that trauma based essays are ok? For people that don't have trauma or absolutely refuse to talk about it, there's still plenty of opportunity to get in selective colleges through academic prowess. I think it's great that the essay gives disadvantaged students a chance to explain why their grades might've dipped during a year, or why they couldn't join a club or two. It's definitely not perfect and is open to lying and trauma marketing, but it's better than no chance for explanation at all.

@alexchang4475

Жыл бұрын

Easy to say for a minority that benefits significantly from affirmative action...

Tbh this has been going on for a long time now, just the jargon is different. When I was applying to schools in the early 2000's, we all knew to talk about our 'hardships' so we could demonstrate how we 'overcame' them. Nobody bothered to ask whether it's reasonable to expect a teenager to 'overcome' significant life 'hardships' by the end of high school.

@Lachronix

Жыл бұрын

This is the truth!

@deenil

Жыл бұрын

Isn't there some quote about knowing what someone is truly like when things are bad, not when they are good? Adversity certainly affects how I view achievements. Achieving X in an easier life is less impressive than achieving it in a much tougher life. I really don't mind the idea of talking about adversity or trauma, if you want to. It just shouldn't be a requirement/the only lens to view candidates.

@nanakikaur2381

Жыл бұрын

Lol I relate to this so much... I think when I was a teenager in high school I actually was dealing with some hardships internally because I belonged to a minority group, was somewhat depressed and had a heavy workload. I learned from these struggles on my own and didn't really write a college essay reporting on it so didn't get into the Ivy League colleges that I applied to. That being said, I feel confident in my own skin and my ability to succeed in life in spite of not going to these schools because at the end of the day only I can know the can know the struggles that I went through, how they affected me individually and the life skills I developed to overcome them.

“Something bad happened to me but it made me a good person” is the kind of optimism that silences criticism of the social issues that may have plagued the individual. When I was looking into applying to US schools, I got the sense that we were encouraged to either make ourselves pitiable or pity others. The latter is just as bad because it commodifies the difficult situations and traumas of other people, then make yourself look like a savior for doing the absolute bare minimum while promising “I will return every summer to bottle-feed these orphans” (which obviously you don’t intend on doing). It felt unsettling and uncomfortable, so I actually ended up not applying to any, instead looked for countries that place more focus on academia for undergraduate applications.

@MrCrunch808

Жыл бұрын

They want to be able to hear your story but feel comfortable when listening to it. They don't want to hear that these issues are real and are causing suffering for millions. College admins would rather affirm their own world viewss than understand that the US is a deeply racist, segregated, homopohobic, transphobic, and overall oppressive place to exist.

@ktlg1423

Жыл бұрын

This. I can't stand the whole doing good acts or starting charities for the sake of looking good for college. Things like kindness and empathy shouldn't be packaged as "skills." I understand where unis are probably coming from, but it really disconnects students from the real world. It's sad we feel the need to market and make up traits in hopes of getting an education.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@ktlg1423 To be honest, the average person does not provide enough charity or kindess to keep the world running, because the average person is selfish. It's good to incentivize good acts, because it "forces" people to be more selfless.

@Chan-qk9eh

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 but its not promoting kindness, just the illusion of it. Rather than teaching a man to fish and giving him resources so he can feed himself and others, you take away the mans supplies and ban him from fishing therefore you can look good and post all over social media how good you are when you give him a fish when if you really cared, he’d be catching twenty fish a day. To be a savior, you need people that need saving.

@flitefulwantssubs402

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 I feel conflicted, because I am both with ktlg on hating that people pretend to be good by feigning kindness to look good to colleges. On the other hand, if they participate in a legitimate charity or good organization, it still helps out the world even if it was for an inauthentic reason. I personally volunteered a lot, more than 500 hours even though my HS experience included COVID. One of the reasons I did this was for college but I'm still happy that I was able to help, I had fun doing some of it, and it gave me some invaluable experiences.

Not just trauma essays but trauma as art in general. This is something I've been thinking a lot about as well. Thanks for a great talk.

Even here in the UK, I was encouraged to write about my mum’s passing when I was 13 when applying to universities. How anyone would encourage you to take advantage of a traumatic event is beyond me. I chose not to write about her in my application as I instead wanted to be rewarded for my hard work and dedication to learning, not her passing.

@damyilut3377

Жыл бұрын

Interesting, when I did my personal statement (in the UK), none of us were told to write about any personal things really. It was all academic and interests, what books you read, volunteering, work experience etc. So hearing that kids have to do it in some places is really bizarre to me, and sad.

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

Just know that being able to continue to work hard and dedicate yourself to learning when something difficult happens in life is itself an extraordinary feat. I respect you for not trying to use this point; but even if you do, I don't see a problem.

This speech resonates with me so much, it makes me a little emotional. As a high school senior recently admitted into my dream school, I thought I would feel extremely proud with my acceptance. However, I was unsettled, because I didn't necessarily have a great gpa or commendable academic achievement/extracurriculars. The only thing that stood out about me was my difficult home-life, so I put forth my traumatic upbringing and it became the centerpiece of my application. It makes me queasy to know that trauma I've wanted to move on from and use to teach others how "the past doesn't define you" became the key factor to getting ahead in life. It's the only thing that makes me unique on paper, and it hurts to know that it'll follow me around as long as I'm applying to programs and trying to stand out.

@joefishy3312

Жыл бұрын

Don’t feel bad about it. If you don’t want to use that story again in your applications, then you shouldn’t. There’s no reason it should hang over your head forever. A big point of the video was that no one has it all figured out, especially before you’re even out of high school. The college application is just a means to and end. It’s not about defining who you are. There’s a lot to learn, and you’ll see that once you’re there. I don’t want to sound like a self help guru, but don’t wallow in self-pity. Appreciate your achievements. And remember growing as a person is always in your control. Congrats on getting accepted!

@alecothegecko

Жыл бұрын

Well said. Also don’t forget that it’s the system that coerces you into writing such an essay. Can’t really blame the applicants for playing the game

@SuperLivin4jesus

Жыл бұрын

Don't feel bad about it at all. Think of it as though you used your difficult past as a stepping stone during the application process or making lemonade out of the horrible sour lemons that life threw at you. Congratulations. 🎉 All the best!

@thedreamer215

Жыл бұрын

You should never feel bad for getting into your dream school and surviving a difficult home life. This trauma essay or adverse experience universities ask you about in your admissions process was added for a reason. Life does not give every individual the same opportunities. Every single person applying to that university has had their own experiences growing. Some are likely more fortunate to have been born into a certain family who had the financial resources to help their children succeed. I personally don't believe that trauma can or should be judged and compared. Sadly, we all face difficulties in our lives. And I'm sure we have all learned by the amount of celebrity suicides that having money, fame, observatory success doesn't mean happiness or an easy life. I know my upbringing is very far from the norm or maybe it's more common for someone born and raised in the hood. When I say common please understand that I am referring more so to the knowledge of it rather than it being a common upbringing for every family in the hood. It's not. Not every family in the hood uses public assistance to buy food for the family. Not every family has an addict for a parent. Not every family experiences physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or verbal abuse in their homes. I got a little side tracked there. But, from personal experience, the traumas I faced growing up are foreign to some people and relatable or known to others. I don't know why this example is coming to mind, but in middle school I recall breaking down one day to my best friends. I bottled up my emotions growing up and I hardly ever shed a tear in front of another person. As an adult I've learned to understand my feelings a bit more now but I do still have trouble crying in front of others. At least now I don't see crying as a sign of weakness but growing up it was. You can't show fear or weakness to some people in certain hoods or you would be targeted. Anyway, I got emotional to my best friends in 7th or 8th grade because I had been robbed at gunpoint walking to school. I told no one of course because back then I felt like anything bad happening to me was my fault. I was running late to school that day because my mom actually gave us money. It was $10. The most money she had given me in a long time. I could finally buy snacks after school with my friends or a soft pretzel at school. I was too happy and excited walking to school thinking about the possibilities. And because of that, I must have made myself a target. I was more ashamed than scared at the time. I told no one for a long time. I just walked to and from school in different ways. Always trying to avoid the area I was robbed at and trying to change my course frequently. After telling my friends, they comforted me. Honestly, writing this now has made me remember how f**ked up that was for me to experience and that my friends comforting words were also f**ked up. My friends told me how they had been robbed too before coming to school. That I shouldn't feel ashamed that it happened to me because it could happen to anyone. It's truly f**ked up that we live in a society where this happening is okay and expected. If you never had to live somewhere like this, where it's "normal" to expected to be robbed or other things, then please count your blessings. Young boys or men selling drugs on the corner is normal where I grew up. As a young lady I was taught to cross the street and ignore them hitting on me. But, you have to do this respectfully. Be flattered by their "compliments", say hello occasionally or smile, keep those reminders out that you are still a kid and jailbait. Never ever turn down a guy(s) hanging around the streets in a rough neighborhood disrespectfully. If they feel like you bruised their ego then they may get violent. I was born and raised in Philadelphia. Us girls who are from here know to cross the street, politely ignore their remarks, and continously say we have a boyfriend (even if we don't). Because, we know a girl or of a girl who didn't respectfully turn one of these guys and they thought it would be funny to shoot at her because she said something that hurt their ego. This should not be the case but sadly it is a reality some of us live in. I don't care what anyone thinks about me telling a university why I should be considered a candidate who faced hardships or had an adverse childhood. Or me getting into a university because of these things. If someone honestly believes that students admitted to a university because they had hardships don't belong there or got into that university easily, then I feel sorry for those people. They must expect the worst of every situation. They must not acknowledge how beautiful all the colors of a rainbow are. They are clearly too cynical to get out of their own heads (where they are always right) and enjoy life. Live in the moment. Life promotes balance, where there is laughter and joy, there is also sadness and tears. But in life, nothing is permanent. It may be a difficult time now, but it will pass eventually.

@DSS712

Жыл бұрын

So sorry youve had to deal with this. Please remember that it is not your fault that you were pushed to sell this part of yourself. Even more than college admissions, the public education system needs to be overhauled for anything to truly change. Private school needs to be dismantled and ALL public schools need be getting the exact same resources and funding - that way kids with a poor home life have a chance to thrive academically rather than struggle all the way through and then sell that struggle for points. Institutions like private college prep academies and advisors should not be remotely legal. This is such a disservice to young people everywhere. We can do better.

I applied into this one university three times, once ED and got rejected all three. Changed my essay for the 4th to a trauma essay and got accepted (25% acceptance rate). Schools love to talk about how they consider all these wideranging factors....lol

@daisy3869

Жыл бұрын

To be fair, that's exactly how the wideranging factors work. Trauma, hardship, and difficulty "contexualize" your work and achievements by making them appear more impressive. The logic is that technically it's super, super easy to do impressive or good work as long as you have the right tools, environment, birth right. However, it is much harder to do those thing when you had to juggle multiple priorities other than education, such as a sick parent or a having to work to support the family. It makes the achievements seem more "real" and it also communicates to the school that you are going to "survive" because you already developed the skills to do so----while others who didn't experience hardship might be impressive but they might not be ready to be on their own or to suddenly run into a problem. It sucks and I hate this bullshit capitalist trash. I just wanted to clarify that part

@LiveType

Жыл бұрын

​@@daisy3869So what I'm hearing from this is you take someone else's trauma dump essay or essays that did get accepted, paste it into gpt4, add some context of what minor/impactful trauma you do want to talk about, and have it spit out some essays. Pick the best one (or bits and pieces of each one), edit, revise and repeat until it's just unique and most importantly traumatic enough to make you go, "Woah, god damn." Then lean back with a sense of overflowing pride and accomplishments and pat yourself on the back for some excellent admission essays. GPT4 is a wake up call to the education industry.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@LiveType You still need to have good grades, activities, recommendation letters, possibly standardized test grades, and have a clear consistent tone to your application. The essay is frankly the easy part haha.

@czpiaor

Жыл бұрын

applies 4 times, 25% acceptance rate. Coincidence? Jk, the college application process is absolutely flawed

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly the extra factor that they are talking about, because all the other regular things like academic performance, extracurricular activities, and ambitions are often not enough to differentiate one applicant from another. It is these life stories, traumatic or not, that can truly say something special about an applicant.

I always thought this was hard for students who come from a low income families but they don’t have traumatic stories to tell. Nothing traumatic has ever happened to me but I also still don’t have money to go to school😭😭

@Tomorrow2283

Жыл бұрын

apply for scholarships!! Theres multiple fonts such as, "what difference do you want to make", "how will your career impact you in the future" etc..

@fishythefish7984

10 ай бұрын

and for higher income too tbh. bc they can’t get accepted into good schools.

Tina Yong hit the nail on the head with her talk about this growing trend in applicants of writing "overcoming trauma" essays- in their college applications. As a private education counselor and essay advisor, I am well aware of how admissions counselors, online essay guides, and "tips to write your college essay" videos make kids dig into their traumas for a marketable hook. It cannot be something that is so final that you cannot really glean a lesson out of it, it cannot just be a struggle like anxiety or depression because that may jeopardize your application. What madness is this? As a general rule, if a student has other things to talk about, I try to gently dissuade them from writing the growth through pain essays because an AO told me that she feels conflicted about being too drawn to such stories. After all, it feels unfair to those applicants who have no pain to share. Should they be subconsciously penalized because they didn't face trauma? I'd love to know your thoughts.

@oneofmanygoogleaccountsima4221

Жыл бұрын

Funny enough, I actually wrote about my mental illnesses in my college essays (and ended up getting accepted)! The frustrating part, though, is that I was constantly having to pretend that my mental illnesses are in the past, or that if I’m still struggling now it’s only a tiny bit-I realize now that subconsciously, I was engaging in masking through storytelling, where I pretend I’m just as functional as an abled person even though I’m really not. That’s unfortunately a very common attitude towards people with mental illnesses even outside of college apps, where we either have to hide our diagnoses as a whole or frame them as “barely an issue.” (And if I try to act like-hey! My mental illnesses actually really impact my functioning and I need some accommodations!-some abled person will tell me that actually they’re not that big of a deal and that I should just try harder.)

@paramitaroy4660

Жыл бұрын

@@oneofmanygoogleaccountsima4221 When I was starting out as an essay advisor, every person's mental illness essay I brought back to the team for analysis was immediately vetoed. Funnily enough one kid went against my advice and wrote it anyway. The essay really didn't say he was okay by the end of it. He maintained that he was still struggling. He got in. Good for him, I thought. Now you are making me wonder how he's doing. I hope you are doing better. If not, that's okay too.

@tracik1277

Жыл бұрын

Yes I totally disagree with this protocol and find it ethically inappropriate.

@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Жыл бұрын

This reads like a bot wrote it

@paramitaroy4660

Жыл бұрын

@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay 🤣 ouch. that hurt aida.

I love this so much. As a TED-style speaking coach who has helped dozens of speakers write and rehearse their TEDx talks, I also feel this pull. If I encourage them to stay away from telling their traumatic stories, I hinder the potential power of their talk. If I encourage them to tell their traumatic stories, I risk pushing them into territory they haven’t fully worked through. I’ve landed on the rule of thumb: “We only tell stories that are scars. No open wounds.” This talk is such a fair examination of an increasing problem.

@Random_Guy518

Жыл бұрын

That quote was powerful. Thank you

@93hothead

Жыл бұрын

You shouldn't even tell the scars, if you are in a talk about electronics nobody wants to hear how you fell down and injured your leg or how you survived COVID.

@GigaDarkness

Жыл бұрын

​@@93hothead "if you are in a talk, nobody wants to hear about you" FTFY

@93hothead

Жыл бұрын

@@GigaDarkness please tell me how you segway falling down a stairs to electronics

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

So it isn't about not to tell traumatic stories at all. It is that you can tell traumatic stories that you actually recovered from and which actually helped you improve, rather than faking recovery and progress when there is none.

Definitely trauma dumped about my SA experience from when I was 14 years old, among other things…It’s a terrible subject that caused me a lot of pain that took some time to overcome and accept. I didn’t write about it because it was important to me…I wrote about it because that’s what you’re “supposed to do” on college essays. But when I think of what makes me “me”, being an SA victim doesn’t make the list. It’s just not something I choose to relive or carry with me the rest of my life. Now I am a student and I work for the admissions office. It is required to report records that have sensitive topics like SA, abuse, eating disorders, suicidal or harmful thoughts, etc. Anyways, we get a lot of those for personal essays. For some people, they really are just speaking from the heart, but for others (including myself) we are just writing what we think they want to hear. Marketing our trauma basically.

@gaymer2316

Жыл бұрын

What happens to the records that are reported? Are they more/less likely to get in? Or are they just taken note of while still having the same odds as everyone else?

@wildmoonchild8210

Жыл бұрын

I was able to write about how my dad threatened to kill himself, but when I wrote later in the essay that I felt suicidal, I was reported to the guidance counselor lol. (And they made me take that part out of the essay)

@ngndnd

Жыл бұрын

@@wildmoonchild8210 tbh thats why i never tell anyone about my depression. Even if im fine now and dont have suic*dal thoughts anymore they might send me to a mental hospital and ruin my life even more

@samanthajeffers9339

Жыл бұрын

It’s sad that you couldn’t even tell your story in the way you wanted to say it. I hope you have people in your life to open up your heart and heal

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@wildmoonchild8210 The goal is to write about trauma that impacted you negatively, but you grew from. So things that hurt, but not enough to sway you. Being suicidal means you were impacted heavily, so it'd make you seem like too "weak" of a candidate.

At age 18, I had a very sheltered experience of the world and was limited in my ability to portray resilience through overcoming challenges. I didn’t really know who I was. At age 19, I was in the depths of dealing with multiple sources of trauma and struggling with survival, let alone having the will and strength to finish my degree. I still didn’t know who I was. At age 26, (and many years of therapy later) I managed to find meaning in my life’s experiences by plunging my life’s purpose into activism and changing the systemic structures that hurt me. I now know who I am and can talk honestly and authentically about how my past has shaped me into the person I am today and feel pride in how far I have come - though I am still in the process of exploring my identity beyond my past. Post traumatic growth is a reality for some people and it can be a beautiful thing, but we shouldn’t be using it as a tool to shame people for where they are in their journey, or make them feel less worthy for not having fully processed it. It took 8 YEARS for me to get to a place of feeling secure in my recovery. Asking an 18 year old to have it all figured out by the time they leave high school is ridiculous.

I remember writing an essay for my english class during my freshman year in college. The assignment was to write about your most memorable childhood experience. He didn't specify if it had to be a good or bad time, so I chose to write about the FBI bursting in my house when I was 5....beating up family members, and dragging my dad out of the shower.....all while I stood screaming and crying....it is my most memorable childhood experience. The teacher gave papers out at the end of class....and held my paper last and asked me to stay a few minutes after class if I could...and I did....I remember him asking me to clarify if this was real or or not....before he gave me my grade. I had NEVER told that story in detail to another human being. Although my mother knew what happened because she was home....nobody had ever heard it from my perspective with my thoughts and emotions included. I simply told him yes, it was real, and asked what made him think that it wasn't. He simply said, "It read like something out of a movie" then said "wow, I'm sorry" & gave me an 100 on the assignment.

It takes courage to bring awareness to this topic and ask universities to become more accountable WHILE giving a speech in one. Well played, Tina!

@ANonymous-mo6xp

Жыл бұрын

And if changing her essay would have actually cost her admission to the school, would she have been brave enough to do it....?

@scrapbotcommander

Жыл бұрын

@@ANonymous-mo6xp The reason @Barbaros applauded her courage in bringing awareness isn't for bravery's sake in and of itself, but rather because it's something that is likely to create positive change in the world. Because universities will see her speech and realize she has a point. The hope is for it to pressure and inspire them to search for a way to undo the issue they have unintentionally caused. Would her changing her essay have been brave? Absolutely! But would it have inspired change? No. And thus, had she done that rather than wait for a more powerful moment to make her point, her bravery would have gone to waste. She undoubtedly had the bravery necessary to change her essay, but she also had the wisdom to understand there was a better way if she stayed patient... and the fact you and I are here talking about it today shows how well that wisdom payed off.

I felt exactly like this when filling out my grad school applications. Being asked to "cash in" on the death of a loved one or a traumatic experience is not okay. It leaves the person feeling like they've cheapened that experience or part of their life. Of course there are times where writing about something painful can be a healing process and releasing it to the public can help others, but the time and place to write about that pain needs to be naturally decided on by person who lived it.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

There isn't much of an alternative though. For people who lost a loved one and their grades slipped during that time, this is a chance to explain that moment of weakness to the officers so they can stay in the pool. Without an explanation, these people would just get cut because of low grades.

@haomingli6175

Жыл бұрын

If you write authentically about it, why does it cheapen the experience? It is when you become disingenuous and fake parts of the story to make it look more positive/impressive that you cheapen your own experience. if you think the authentic version of the story won't help you in admissions, then don't write it.

I had an experience with this. I had a great childhood with loving parents and yet on a college application I was asked for one of those trauma essays when applying to college and I had nothing, no traumatic experience to exploit. I felt like getting into college demanded I have some kind of story so I took something that was mildly annoying, a slight favoring of my brother by my father and exaggerated it. I felt really gross afterwards, like I had thrown my loving dad under the bus for a college admission. I knew he would understand but I still felt like the experience was unfair. If I could go back, I would be honest and say I was fortunate in life not to have any serious trauma, but I did have dreams that I was determined to reach.

this reminds me of the experiences one of my friends had in uni. she was from a single parent family and applied for financial need-based scholarships. during these scholarship interviews she would have to retell and relive over and over again all the horrible things that had happened to her due to her family's unfortunate circumstances. it's basically a form of secondary victimisaition.

I am currently writing an essay for Grad School and the hardest part of the essay was, "Please explain anything that affected your college GPA and what would make you successful in this program." Because the things that affected my GPA were deeply personal and painful. On the other hand I am glad my prefered institution doesn't select on GPA alone and is asking for more context. It's a pretty ambivalent feeling.

@christophergaspar6520

Жыл бұрын

What institution are you applying to if you don't mind sharing?

@LuzdoSol00

Жыл бұрын

Hi Tessia. Well done for your work. I am studying, Race, media and social justice and my assignment is about a journal and race and injustice I have faced in my life. Again, as you referred to one thing called my attention to race can be different things for different people and one thing I remember is that pay attention to the small moments of these experiences such as the people around me or you. So glad you also doing that.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@LuzdoSol00 What are you talking about, she never mentioned race...

@LuzdoSol00

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 If you read again you will understand that my course is on race/ media and social justice and we are doing the same course work.

@LuzdoSol00

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 Yeah. I even read it again. I am talking about my course and her being the same topic. Also, I do not have an issue to discuss race in any capacity.

This is one of the best TED talks I’ve heard in a while. She hits so many great points.

@David_1789

Жыл бұрын

College essays and interviews shouldn’t exist. If there are more qualified applicants than there are positions, then select the most academically qualified or randomize the selection.

@ntsakobaloyi6965

Жыл бұрын

What other ones come to mind that are as good or great as this? From different topics. I would like to watch more if there are?

@MissIncorrigibleOfOz

Жыл бұрын

I want to know about the journey from reality TV to studying political science.

i always felt a little weird looking around. i’ve been very thankful to be privileged and not have to undergo traumatic experiences to the extent of writing around them in essays, but i conversely got the impression that in order to demonstrate my resilience and/or competence, i had to have trauma and to have overcome it. i never know how to feel about that.

@blurpleflowers555

Жыл бұрын

As someone who went through a traumatic event, you build resilience by building your self-esteem and overall mental health, not by going through traumatic events. Traumatic events force you to build resilience because until these events happen, you usually push problems under the rug. Once these events happen, you then build resiliency, as the only way to get through these events is to face your problems head on.

I regret my trauma college app essay. It got me into some good schools, but not any of the top schools. Looking back, I was so depressed & anxious and my trauma essay probably made that so painfully obvious. Write about your passions, your achievements, make it personal, but nothing too personal. It doesn’t have to be the most profound thing you’ve ever experienced. That can be personal to just you.

Yeah its difficult cause many like me dont have redemption stories. Alot of us had trouble when we were kids time just moved on, not everything had a bright side. Like my trauma is completely unrelated to my career path and life choices

@nataliem32

Жыл бұрын

Exactly, I remember trying to "come up" with a story because like many teenagers I went through a period of pretty bad depression trying to figure out who I was but I didn't have "redemption" I literally just grew up a bit and got myself out of a dark time. Like it's not always some crazy turnaround

I had something quite sad happen my senior year and I definitely felt this pressure when writing my essays. I'm also first generation mexican but I decided not to write about it for the following reaons: 1.)I wanted to prove it to myself that I could get into a top school without a pity party 2.) I wanted to represent mexicans that can be in the same league as everyone else and let my accomplishments speak for themselves 3.) I didn't even mention what happened my senior year because I didn't feel like strangers in an admission office deserved to know about my trauma and I didn't want to relive it. I also didn't want to put the idea in my head that that specific thing happened for a reason because it didn't. Anywaysss I got into UCLA, waitlisted at berk, into ucd and ucsd without even mentioning a single bad thing about my life and it was definitely worth my peace and conscience.

@bushral.tasneem5464

Жыл бұрын

Can I ask what you wrote your essay on? I’m class of 24’ so I still have some time, but there’s nothing in my life that has bothered me (except for the fact I show considerable amounts of ADHD symptoms) so I’m really not sure what to write about..

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

It's not the getting in, but often the scholarship/ funding provided that changes

@lawyerlab6591

Жыл бұрын

just to clear it up cause I think I could've worded that a bit better ^^. I'm not saying to not write about the things that actually have impacted you like a parent's death or something. Just stay true to yourself and don't feel like you have to over-explain.

@lawyerlab6591

Жыл бұрын

@@Heyu7her3 that's true. thank you for that insight.

@lawyerlab6591

Жыл бұрын

My essays were catered to ucla and I heard that they really value leadership and creativity so I wrote about a leadership position and how I helped this girl through that program and I also wrote about my love for painting even though I'm bad it but I try to progress. I also wanted to stand out and wrote a narrative story about how I got voted class clown in eigth grade and how humour makes me a better person. That one was risky but I think the way I presented it made me look relatable and not all about academics.

What we need is a standardized test for abuse so that we can rate applicants on their trauma fairly.

@jksupergamer

11 ай бұрын

Hire this man for college board right now

As someone who had undiagnosed ADHD that I unintentionally drew upon for my college essays (I wrote about blooming socially late in high school, and I suspect it was probably my strongest essay by far that got me into my current univ), in hindsight, the whiplash between the glorification of trauma essays and the struggle of feeling like your trauma is a liability socially and academically once you're admitted is crazy. Prestigious college admissions committees are deluded in thinking that their schools are bastions of progress, social mobility, and cutting edge learning.

I love you and wish I heard this at 17! My dad died homeless at 17 and I felt like telling my story became like selling a used car. It was awful!

Thank you for this. As a high school student, I've always freaked out that I hadn't experienced something major or traumatic to write about, , instead of being grateful for the wonderful life I have ❤

My experience with college essays is that they force you to write about a traumatic experience that you don't really want to talk about. I was physically abused as a small child (No, not just spanking.) but I only think about that maybe once a year because it has literally nothing to do with my personality or who I am as a person. It has been so long since then and my individual ship of Theseus has changed so much that I don't even think of myself as the same person.

The opening line of my first application for a $500 dorm scholarship. "By the time I was six my mom was dead and my Dad remarried a woman who physically, mentally and emotionally abused my sister and I." (and I know it should have been "me and my sister). It worked. By that time I was over my trauma but I really did need the money.

@pedrobambinoperez2572

Жыл бұрын

did you actually write that lmao?

@DavidAWA

Жыл бұрын

@@pedrobambinoperez2572 Yeah. But this was way before trauma was cool.

"just critical enough to inspire change, but not so much that it actually criticizes systemic structures" -- this is the one that struck me the most.

Something not covered in this video is how "Trauma Essays" and their effectiveness makes it feel like you need some significant trauma to get in or write a good essay, which I feel is a bad thing to encourage.

@SoniCraft98

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. What do people who have had completely normal lives do?

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

​@@SoniCraft98 Enter some competitions, win awards, climb into some leadership positions, get your name out there. Selective colleges are... selective. They aren't looking for normal people.

@rudycrawford2458

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 So they're looking for victimhood people? Why would you want such toxic people? I can already imagine the workplace with such drama queens.

@leguminous7564

Жыл бұрын

@@rudycrawford2458 They're looking for 1) rich people obviously, 2) exceptionally accomplished/intelligent people, or 3) people that have suffered trauma but bounced back effectively. You're overly focusing on 3), when 2) is still a very viable option.

@blocksource4192

Жыл бұрын

@@leguminous7564 I created 2 companies at 14 and am working on my 3rd now at 16. I can't write about this and probably won't get into any school which I really want to because of this "club activities bullshit".

From a very opposite life experience to Tina Yong, I was one of those applicants who didn't have an authentic "trauma story" to share... I grew up privileged enough to have good friends and a good family that was well enough off to provide what we needed. I constantly felt like I had no story and nothing worth sharing, that nothing in my life held significance because I didn't have a great "overcoming" story like the colleges would want. Not saying that this is a more significant issue or an unfair disadvantage, but it is interesting to note that this system is not particularly good for anyone, whether they have a dramatic story or no trauma at all...

When I was in 6th grade my teacher had the whole class submit personal essays to a state sponsored writing competition about how a book inspired us. I really enjoyed writing and reading back then so I was really excited to do the project. She showed us samples of ones that had won in past years. Every single one of them was a depressing sob story about bullying or death or negative experiences. Disheartened because nothing had happened like that in my life yet, I started to write a story where I heavily exaggerated a couple less than savory interactions with my peers in elementary school to make it appear as though I had been bullied. I, along with multiple other classmates had our essays make it to semi-finals. I was really excited, but I felt ashamed of the work. We had an open house later that year where I pretty much begged people not to read the essay because it was embarrassing. One, because the experiences I had noted did not actually impact me all that much, and two, I didn't want my parents reading it and thinking I was sad and getting bullied, when in fact, I was an incredibly happy and strong individual who always made sure to stand up for herself when encountered by unsavory situations in school. But an already strong and happy protagonist doesn't win.

@iidentifyasjeffbezos

9 ай бұрын

Similar to what happened to me, I had to think ''hmm what tragic thing has happened in my life''

I remember this. Spent a year applying for scholarships and colleges in the mid 90's. They all had the same basic message. "I have SUFFERED, but I am STRONG and I PERSEVERED. I will use this opportunity well if you give me money/admission." Begging to strangers nonstop for a year was very lucrative. But it also left me unable to ask anyone for anything for several years after that.

This made me realize why my college essay didn't quite get me the scholarships and acceptances I was hoping for. I wrote about losing my two older brothers when I was 16, and, especially when I was writing these essays only a year later, there was no solution to that conflict I could write about. I even included my story in graduate fellowship essays last year and got rejected in the first round, feeling a little puzzled that a story that moved so many people in my personal life wasn't good enough for these admissions panels. Although I persevered through the trauma of their passing, and continue to function despite struggling with it for the rest of my life, I didn't come away with any valuable lessons or accolades that these universities could appropriate.

@SoniCraft98

Жыл бұрын

That’s so messed up man. I’m sorry you had to feel like your trauma wasn’t “good enough” in the eyes of complete strangers.

OMG thank you for this, point were made!! I've been saying this for the past 2 years. As soon as I finished my undergraduate application (in which I definitely used a trauma essay as well) I started to realize how messed up the whole system of admission is even though I used this flawed system to my "benefit". We end up making a commodity of our deeply personal lived experiences that only uphold toxic institutions at the end of the day. What's even worse is that we are asking literal minors to do this, children that most likely need to healthily process their own trauma without the pressures of education, white supermacy, capitalism, employment, etc... I find the whole thing deeply disturbing.

It would be interesting to hear the experiences of admissions officers on reading essays about trauma. Does having to read so many essays about personal trauma become a traumatic experience in itself? Are they even trained to handle something like this, or are they just expected to have the emotional resilience of a brick wall?

She said it perfectly and couldn't have said it any better. As an immigrant who completed my undergraduate degree in the United States and is now planning on applying to medical schools, I have literally experienced this! she is addressing something that many people experience but few seem to talk about. I am so happy to have come across this video!

Recently I applied for scholarships and one of the questions was “Please describe your personal struggles in 500 characters or less” Edit: I genuinely cannot believe this, but a few days after making this comment I got the notification that I won a $12k scholarship based off my 500 character answer to the above question. I’m laughing and crying all the way to the bank I guess…?

This happened to me, I applied for an internship that was advertised for minority students. During the application part they made me retell everything that happened to me to deem me vulnerable enough. After digging up all my emotional trauma and trying to act like I am stronger now, all I am left with right now is a rejection letter.

The best thing I did for myself was not writing about my trauma. My dad had recently died when I was going through college applications. A lot of advisors and family members tried forcing me to write about this but since this was a recent event, every time I was thinking about my dad left me hysterically crying. Up to this day I'm still processing and mourning his death so having family members and advisors trying to force this process on me was way too cruel. (I understand where they were coming from since in the recent years they had a bunch of students admitted to top ranking universities because they all wrote about their traumatic experiences with a hurricane and the aftermath.) It wasn't until the day my application was due that I wrote my essay about something completely unrelated, a topic that I was passionate about and wanted to research in the future. It was this essay that got me in a highly ranked university. It really saddens me that a lot of students are going through the same experiences as me when doing their application and are forced to relive past traumatic experiences. I want for more students to know that maybe the traumatic part made a huge impact on who you are today, but it doesn't define you as a whole person. You also have passions and aspirations, topics that make you curious, and goals that you want to achieve in the future. Let your essay shine in other ways as long as it is on your own terms.

thank you for doing this exactly how i felt. i needed someone to articulate this better than i can. having heard all this i feel happy? that im not alone in feeling this way and that there are people out there who are able to call this out.

I feel this way in the job market too. As a film director, it’s become popular for us to be expected to differentiate ourselves by our unique identities, often linked to adversity. I’ve often been told that my life story would make an amazing movie due to the struggles I’ve been through, but I feel conflicted by feeling this pressure to share deeply personal things for, essentially, entertainment purposes, and to also share it in a way that others can feel safe capitalizing on…

@altmosetz_01

Жыл бұрын

Life's struggles/ situations are our own. Other people may perceive it differently & thats more likely. To make one's own situations worthwhile to others & of mass appeal , it calls for embellishment & making it marketable

I wrote about my actual trauma for my medical school essay because it was actually very relevant to the reason I wanted to study medicine to the point where I felt like it'd be disingenuous if I didn't discuss it. I struggled to make it palatable and not overly critical. Was rejected from all but one school. Spot on.

Thank you for sharing. I was encouraged to write one of these trauma essays when I was in college 20 years ago. And you are right. It absolutely stripped me of my dignity. It was for a scholarship. There was an article written about myself and the other person that was also chosen for the scholarship. Her story involved how she accomplished learning multiple languages and doing humanitarian work overseas. Mine was just about the trauma I had endured and was still struggling with. I had written it as if I had overcome all of it when I hadn’t in reality. But because I was attending college and was on the “dean’s list” honor roll despite my trauma that was enough to get me the scholarship. I compared myself to the other person and realized I hadn’t really accomplished anything. I only received $250 for the scholarship (I wasn’t told the amount ahead of time) It was humiliating to have sold my trauma and had it published (which I didn’t know was going to happen) for all to see. I felt like a cheap prostitute.

Everyone has trauma, whether they know it or not, but not everybody wants to share it with a bunch of strangers.

@hiphipjorge5755

Жыл бұрын

Depends how you define trauma. Anonymous studies on teenagers actually show that about 30-40% of them don't have any severe Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). It's one thing to have a difficulty (exam stress, not getting onto a sports team you try out for, crush that doesn't like you back, not fitting in, parents getting divorced). It's another thing to have traumatic experiences (chronic Illness/disability, family addictions, homelessness/severe poverty, domestic violence, mentally ill family, sexual abuse, unexpected death, etc). It's actually very bad for us to be defining simply challenges as being trauma when they're simply not. The thing is based on dozens of anonymous studies asking about adolescent experiences, it seems around half the kids in America haven't much any experience with real trauma. The most common "traumatic" experience is parental divorce, and I'd be hard pressed to call that trauma per se. And honestly, that's okay. It's good to not go through trauma. This shouldn't be some game to see who's got it the worst, because now everyone's trying to get top spot. As someone who went through a lot in my childhood, I would have preferred not to 😂 but here we are. It is what it is

@BarnabyTheEpicDoggo

Жыл бұрын

@@hiphipjorge5755 Good comment but... 30-40%? Who are these lucky people??

@gymnasticsgirlie0647

Жыл бұрын

@@hiphipjorge5755 Medically, in both the physical and psychological sense, trauma is anything that permanently changes how your body functions. So anything you mentioned as just a regular "difficulty" can qualify as traumatic to people because it permanently changes their brain chemistry and how they perceive themselves in/and the world. Different people perceive different things as traumatic; believe it or not, a severe car accident which involves broken bones may not be traumatic to one person, while a particularly difficult exam season may be traumatic to someone else. There are actually psychological terms for this distinction - big T trauma vs little T trauma. Big T trauma is any event that is traumatizing to a person which is considered by society to be something worthy of traumatization - rape, addictions, etc. Little T trauma is anything that is considered by society to not be that "big of a deal" but is still traumatic to a person - parental divorce, not fitting in, etc. Let's not invalidate people's trauma because it doesn't fit your definition of what SHOULD be traumatic to a person.

@philipmcniel4908

Жыл бұрын

@@gymnasticsgirlie0647 I would argue, as someone whose parents are still married, that parental divorce gets downplayed just because it's so common rather than because it doesn't actually affect kids "that much." IMO its commonality does not lessen its effect on children (except perhaps in the sense that it might've been even harder back in the days when being a child of divorced parents made you the "odd one out," and you likely did not know anyone else who came from a broken home).

@racool911

Жыл бұрын

@@BarnabyTheEpicDoggo Me, I can't really think of any sort of trauma I had.

I think this is part of a more general tension between treating people as complex human beings versus the need to compare, evaluate, and funnel people into our modern capitalist machine, especially when we have to do this at scale.

I definitely needed to hear this as a rising senior preparing to write my college essay. I’ve experienced depression and anxiety which I haven’t overcome yet, but I felt like I needed to write about how my mental health struggles made me a better person. But really it’s an ongoing journey and I’m still learning, so I’m glad to hear that I can write about how I’m still in that process or just write about something else entirely

Love this talk. Anecdotally, the essay that got me into film school was a breakup letter with the series 24 and how it had lost its way over the seasons. I was rejected multiple times with essays about how much I loved film and cared about movies.

See, this is why I like TEDTalks. I try to watch things that I feel I have no interest in. In many of these cases, I end up absolutely loving and appreciating the subject matter and the presenter. This is that case with Tina Yong. She nailed this presentation. So good, so insightful, and so very much needed. It was a TEDTalk that I didn't know I needed but so glad that I came across.

I needed this video bcos I literally never even bothered to apply to these ‘prestigious’ schools due to thinking I wasn’t special enough because I didn’t have a heart-rending story. Don’t get me wrong, going thru hardship is powerful- but what about those whose lives unfolded in a less traumatic way? Are we less deserving? Should we force some kind of trauma then?

@wecnmlwiefmwwwwvfr5492

Жыл бұрын

Right it gets tiring knowing someone is intelligent and worked hard but didn't happen to have some severe trauma so they are just rejected and also many of the trauma stories are lies, or lets call them extremely liberal interpretations of the events that unfolded. Way to many kids know that this trauma story is the one thing you can instantly write that will change outcomes so they write, whatever they think someone wants to hear. And people will say they admissions can tell, but I can 100% say they cant because I know so many of these kids who made this stuff up and got in.

@JL-zo1wd

Жыл бұрын

Well to be fair, the person who went through severe trauma had to do a lot more to get to the same position. But I do think the trend of trauma dumping is annoying due to the lying and exaggeration that follows.

@dianalove539

Жыл бұрын

😂

@MarkGrant-ej8sn

Жыл бұрын

It used to be trauma enough, sacrificing so much to succeed.

@ANonymous-mo6xp

Жыл бұрын

Remember one of the reasons these trauma scripts are getting so cliched is because many of them are just like any other scripts, they're made up stories.

Thank you for coming forward and discussing this topic.

amazing speech, very well said. as someone who also had to go through this process and did the same thing, molding and sanitizing my bad experiences into neat, 500-word paragraphs of toxic optimism, it was a stressful and difficult time, especially having to balance it with my schoolwork and extracurriculars. the modern uni application process has gotten incredibly competitive, and its problematic for students.

This was exactly the issue I had with that viral essay about a kid who hated the letter S.

My advisor wanted me to explain why I was going for a master's at the age of 35. The more I disclosed, the more my sense of self began to morph into something more palatable to anyone that "did things right". I felt I was being encouraged to rewrite a script and shame myself in front of strangers so that they may consider me worthy of funding. I hope this fad dies. I'm not going through that advisor again until I have a clear picture of what I want. The state of higher education admissions and employment is in shambles. Being voyeuristic about the slow death of the middle class (or the value of intelligence in the lower class) is not something I want to partake in. There are better ways to do this

@ammaranwar5343

Жыл бұрын

How annoying! Judging on how well you articulated your experience in this comment, I'm sure you're more than qualified for whatever higher education degree you're applying to.

@krishp1104

Жыл бұрын

Admissions officers arguably need to touch more grass than discord mods

@limendime3720

Жыл бұрын

@@krishp1104 You aren't joking. Include most faculty and tenured professors in that list too.

@Densoro

Жыл бұрын

God I feel this. I didn’t apply for community college until I moved to the city, four years after I graduated high school. That already felt like an insurmountable gap. After two years of study, my stepdad died of cancer and my family became homeless. It’s been a decade since then. These admissions officers who expect everyone to optimize the fun out of life are so sheltered from the kind of visceral, life-ruining horror that can blindside someone, especially in a country where the “safety nets” are so negligent, they let _the grieving family of a cancer victim_ slip through the cracks. It’s not like I want them to find out how this feels firsthand, but they could at least do their homework.

@amberstiefel9748

Жыл бұрын

@@ammaranwar5343 🥲 thank you

I wrote a statement about my passions, got rejected. The next year i wrote a statement about my trauma, got rejected again. On the one hand, i have no one to tell my story to and when writing that statement i just hoped that anyone far away may read it and understand. On the other hand, i feel used and not worth admission because my trauma wasn't "traumatic" enough or wasn't "the right kind of trauma". And I'm just 18 y.o., and I've been through a lot of shait already. I just want to get into college and start building my better future. College admission is disgusting, especially for kids from low income families with zero savings like me. I feel so terrible and lost.

@waterblah6167

10 ай бұрын

Have you tried Questbridge?

@태이씨

10 ай бұрын

@@waterblah6167 I already graduated high school, I'm not eligible.

absolutely amazing, so well said. everything i felt subconsciously, happening in split seconds, and Tina Yong described it so eloquently.

Thank you for covering this subject. As someone with c PTSD it has been a maze to navigate college and hold onto self dignity. I wish people understood how this type of trauma changes the whole brain.

What an amazing talk. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to hear your story.

“ I descend from two long lines of criminals” Got me into the university of my dreams and allowed me to be the first college graduate in 2 generations on one side and ever on the other. What was so strange to me was how happy I was to be there in contrast to my middle/upper class peers - that’s when I learned trauma happens in more insidious ways with money, nice homes and titles. The kids from famous families were the worst off.

It took me weeks to recover after struggling through my trauma story as a disabled person to apply for grad school. They also literally asked us to state adverse experiences we overcame.

I'm glad that I have a chance to hear this talk. Hear the second time and read all the transcripts. So well-delivered and rich in words and contexts. Interesting topic. Thank you for pointing out this frustration in academic admission standards

This is a great talk. And a true talk. When I applied in 2021, I remember thinking that my story sounded too arrogant and not sufficiently sad bc I refused to use my traumas-- too personal, and my attachments--too sacred as leverage for a college application. I really felt my reasons were sufficient. Both schools I applied to agreed. It freed me to take whatever path intrigued me vs being held hostage by things that I didnt want to discuss and had no bearing. I see classmates now who have these story and they cant seem to escape the labels bc it does come w opportunities.

Some of those ten year olds grow up and never properly address their trauma at all. One of the most difficult aspects of growing up, is to get over your past. Simply talking about your trauma is not always a simple act. Some people will go there whole life suppressing themselves, especially if no one else is going to make them. So, for those individuals alone. This process is worthwhile.

Spot on and well said. As a parent of HS senior who just applied this definitely resonates. Process is just nuts and trauma to prove resiliency seems to be what works. Seems people know that and strategically use that for points and sympathy to get doors to open. So s/one with just as much 'trauma' or more or just as much hardship (but they may not view it as such ) or be comfortable viewing it as trauma ..... or sharing it with strangers looses out. I think it's great you give some visibility to this and start a dialogue about it. Seems many people feel the same.

This is excellent and needed to be said. I hope this increases the discussion and awareness not just among students and their college advisors but also college admissions.

This is one of the best Ted talks I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m white. And I felt pressure to use my trauma in my admissions essays as well. I can only imagine the pressure put on bipoc and immigrants to reopen wounds for these essays. This talk was great. I really resonated with the part about having to walk the tightrope line between a narrative that is unsympathetic and one that makes you seem overly emotional. I couldn’t talk about any mental health struggles without worrying that admissions officers might think that I’m too unsteady for an academic career. I would love to see the admissions prompts move away from the “what is a time you had to overcome something difficult and how have you learned from this experience?” questions.

I love this because I was just rejected by all 7 schools I applied to for PhD. I was really sad and I'm glad there are folks out there who recognize that the system promotes more marketability than authenticity.

@darkartsninja

Жыл бұрын

I'm really sorry to hear that. I just finished grad school, but I took a gap year before applying & got rejected by more than half of the schools I applied for. Don't lose hope, and definitely take a few days off to grieve and heal

@jakeshark9437

Жыл бұрын

@@darkartsninja Thank you very much! I appreciate your support 🙏

I literally only wrote about trauma in college essays because it would net me more financial aid and scholarships from guilty rich people. And like my life is fine. It’s not even sad. But if I have to turn my life into a didactic tale of perseverance for money, then I’ll do it 😭

@bushral.tasneem5464

Жыл бұрын

I fear this is what I’ll have to do to get into university. I don’t want to lie at all though TAT

@alwaysmycamera

Жыл бұрын

@@bushral.tasneem5464 fake it until u make it. just earn yourself a ticket first and start living the dream of your own later.

Everyone has gone through tough times in their life but many choose not to ruminate in it. When I was younger, I sat in the bad stuff that happened to me and let it accumulate with other bad things that would happen on a daily basis. It made me depressed. As I've gotten older, I realized to forgive and take the power away from it to the point where now it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. There's no longer any intense emotion attached to it. It's good to acknowledge our pasts as badges of strength and survival but using this as a way to prove something to college admissions or to anyone seems icky.

Absolutely phenomenal video. You are so eloquent and hit the nail on the head 10000%. Congratulations and thank you for such an insightful, wonderful distillation of what is so wrong with our college (and medical school, law school...) application process.

i love the awareness to this so much. I genuinely REFUSE to use MY OWN family member as a way to just get into college. it makes me feel like i’m cheaply using them and i don’t want to live feeling like i just let a college admissioner chew them up to decide whether or not i was good enough.

@lolima9986

Жыл бұрын

i feel like i will just write how a block of cheese describes humanity or smth, heard it works

@SoVidushi

Жыл бұрын

​@@lolima9986 lol goodluck! Let us know what ends up happening