Click here sbird.co/3M5zQaR and use my code JJGOLD55 to get 55% OFF your first month at Scentbird. What’s your favorite fragrance? Comment below!

@timmyjefferson1815

2 жыл бұрын

Keep up the good work

@n0650

2 жыл бұрын

Hello

@karymee9695

2 жыл бұрын

GOLDDDDDD

@aicrowIey

2 жыл бұрын

i like pee fragrance

@3bugsinatrenchcoat

2 жыл бұрын

lemon or lavender

Her new boyfriend: “Waiting in line to get her a new pair of shoes” “Me knowing she doesn’t have feet”

@salem-01

2 жыл бұрын

STOP 💀

@kai_fatallysapphic

2 жыл бұрын

Her new boyfriend: "Here babe I got you some potato chips" "Me knowing she's a snail"

@loganmiller7827

2 жыл бұрын

Her new boyfriend: "Babe I got you garlic!" Me knowing she's a vampire:

@climsonee2399

2 жыл бұрын

Her new boyfriend: "Babe I got you!" Me knowing she's dead

@SaintShion

2 жыл бұрын

Her new boyfriend: " Babe happy birthday." "Me knowing she was never born." 🥺

“she can’t read” will forever make me die laughing why did he choose that

@pluutonius

2 жыл бұрын

I think it's because of the "he was a poem but she couldn't read" meme

@kai_fatallysapphic

2 жыл бұрын

@@pluutonius "She was a peanut, but he was allergic to peanuts 😔😭" (kurtis conner reference)

@townfool4682

2 жыл бұрын

POV: you're dating Lea Michele

@faye_bones6452

Жыл бұрын

ikr?? he could've just as easily said 'she hates reading' or smth like that lol

@LSRandomHandle

Жыл бұрын

Because she was J19

No "sad" pov tiktok will ever make me feel more emotional than I felt watching that video of a racoon washing his cotton candy.

@llyn5759

Жыл бұрын

💀 omg

@IWillNeverReadYourReply

Жыл бұрын

I still think about that little guy. If it helps there's an extended cut where they give him more and he eats it without washing it lol

@Dweeb_Unit

7 ай бұрын

@@IWillNeverReadYourReply thank you for this information. Finally I can stop being sad about it knowing he got his cotton candy

@DiMagnolia

7 ай бұрын

@@IWillNeverReadYourReplythank you I can finally rest easy ❤

@artsyscrub3226

7 ай бұрын

@@IWillNeverReadYourReply Oh good i was so sad for him :((( im glad he got some in the end

I've literally had someone ask for "Strong Men" to carry things at work, fastest way to get a lesbian to angrily decide to carry things I guess

@spacegay6030

Жыл бұрын

That and the young ftm boys before they figure out they're ftm (e.g. me)

@TealAstronaut

Жыл бұрын

Literally works on me everytime

@Eli-mn5cq

Жыл бұрын

@@spacegay6030 feeling called out

@ironwraith852

Жыл бұрын

@@TealAstronaut it’d prolly have worked on me if I wasn’t homeschooled.

@varisleek3360

Жыл бұрын

let us be strong, its so rare for someone to actually ask us to carry the heavy thing and it makes our day

Maybe the new boyfriend taught her how to read, since Calvin clearly couldn’t be bothered .

@Attilablabla

2 жыл бұрын

It's not that he couldn't be bothered, it's that it's clearly his type.

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

​@@Attilablabla Yeah... kind of a... _interesting_ little quirk.

@bonyeni

2 жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 ah yes a girl who is dependent on him because she can’t read

@cuerbear

2 жыл бұрын

KZread asked me what I thought about this comment

@stuffedbrains

2 жыл бұрын

@@bonyeni maybe they broke up because she was like “babe I wanna know how to read”

for someone who seemingly dates exclusively illiterate women, his tiktoks sure are inaccessible to them

@bece00

2 жыл бұрын

King she cant read this 😔

@shannons3419

2 жыл бұрын

it's so they don't know he makes tiktoks about them

@randomstuffprod.

2 жыл бұрын

If making the tiktoks accessible for illiterate people involve using that stupid fucking text to speech, it's not worth it.

@rayna7055

2 жыл бұрын

may i suggest; we're actually following the story of his illiterate ex and her new bf as she tries to hide her illiteracy from her new partner, who, in a big miscommunication, came to think she was a big book nerd. now she has to keep the charade up as he keeps buying her more and more books, and she keeps being jared, 19,

@kyransawhill6650

2 жыл бұрын

Not subjecting them to his TikToks is the kindest possible thing he could do for them.

12:27 "he was a soccer ball,but she was the goalie "he was a peanut,but she was allergic to peanuts." "He gave her the divorce papers,but she couldnt read." -Kurtis

@GremlinJohnny

3 ай бұрын

he was mascara but she had no eyelashes

@fluffybunchy

2 ай бұрын

@@GremlinJohnnygold mg

@GremlinJohnny

2 ай бұрын

@@fluffybunchy thank you i based it off of personal experience

@fluffybunchy

2 ай бұрын

@@GremlinJohnny clearly one of the most profound and talented poets in modern society

@GremlinJohnny

2 ай бұрын

@@fluffybunchy it's good to finally get the recognition i deserve

Every time he reiterates that this channel is indeed free, I worry that Jarvis is secretly charging me to watch this premium content.

@TheSimulacrumAudio

Жыл бұрын

free with ads from our sponsor Scentbird use code "iameatingspaghettiwhilecryingintheshower23" for 1% off

@ironwraith852

Жыл бұрын

It really is kinda suspicious that he’s being so polite to the pack of Schmucks in the audience./s

@daveslamjam

10 ай бұрын

you're paying your sanity being subjected to these tiktoks

"He looks 14" "he's married" is this Danny Gonzales?!

@chelseybrown2334

2 жыл бұрын

No. It’s Drew Gooden.

@estella610

2 жыл бұрын

I'm tired of people thinking danny is a real person It's just drew gooden in a disguise

@thevideoofdiariesofagregin9517

2 жыл бұрын

@@estella610 oh. Like Abby Shabino

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

I WAS THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME WTH

@LilDinoGuy

2 жыл бұрын

I mean, he's got Danny's rosy cheeks, so it's possible.

So, for the teacher saying "I need a strong boy" thing, I've LITERALLY had teachers (all female teachers, actually!) say that to my classes back in K-12. Multiple teachers, on multiple occasions. It was as annoying as it sounds, and every once and a while, a few of the girls in the class would still volunteer anyway.

@feykingjulian

2 жыл бұрын

it has such a weird energy like "can i get a strapping young boys help here 😏" no ma'am these are kids??

@tyleralan1470

2 жыл бұрын

Same, I didn't think much of it as a kid other than "ooga booga strong man lift chair impresses teacher"

@Flameclaw123

2 жыл бұрын

Same, and for whatever reason all my memories of teachers saying this were in elementary school... like are you suggesting this 8 year old boy is stronger than you, an adult

@peps1943

2 жыл бұрын

@@feykingjulian boys ARE kids?? It's only weird if you make it weird lolol why'd you take it there!? That's on you ahaha. Projecting.

@Shizuzuka

2 жыл бұрын

Always upset me since getting to carry things means like a few moments out of class and I was sad only the boys got that privilege

As someone who has struggled with mental health, it’s crazy to say you sh because a girl you’re obsessed with doesn’t like you. There is so much more to mental health. Also maybe she doesn’t like you because you’re creepy.

@elsachee

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Mental health and sh is such a serious issue and this dude's just undermining and romanticising it. Someone not liking you back is such a trivial issue and he makes it seem like it's normal to sh because of this.

@llyn5759

Жыл бұрын

If someone SH's because of romantic rejection, there's likely a personality disorder at play that revolves around abandonment.

okay, but to be fair, the teacher saying “i need a strong boy to help” happens pretty often 💀

@itsstudytimemydudes4345

2 жыл бұрын

Ive started hearing it recently when my peers are asked to help in church-- literally girls are excluded from all the lifting and some of the yard work cause a lady only asked for "strong guys" or "guys" then as soon as its a babysitting job or a job helping neurodivergents theyre like "okay we need girls".....we're all adults??? like I understand men and women are made differently (which is great!) but that doesnt mean women arent strong enough to help and men arent sensitive enough to care like what??? theres so many guys who are natural born caretakers and so many girls who are natural born girlbosses and it makes me just wanna publicly offer myself up to help for the fun of breaking stereotypes despite my noodle arms Im sorry you have to hear it so often

I love that you heard the "he brews" joke, a joke perhaps as old as Judaism itself, for the first time today. That made my day. Thank you

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

Mine as well 😅

@justagirl...

2 жыл бұрын

although that joke dosnt translate well. "Hebrew" in Hebrew is עברית, which is pronounced ivrit

@kai_fatallysapphic

2 жыл бұрын

@@justagirl... I was thinking that lol

@prest01

2 жыл бұрын

@@justagirl... non-english speakers out here dont understand the he brews joke

@menoguchi

2 жыл бұрын

@@justagirl... I mean, yeah. Usually puns or word plays only work in one language. Even in VERY similar languages like Spanish and Portuguese those types of jokes don't translate well. Hebrew and English seem to be so different so I'm not really surprised it doesn't work lol

it never fails to bother me that "POV" tiktoks are never ever ever actual Point Of View shots, it's always third person

@michaelio6548

2 жыл бұрын

For the sake of my sanity i choose to believe that we're holding a handheld mirror in the third person povs

@lauratroy13

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah pov is filming what's in front of you, not yourself with the backcamera 😁

@leethellama2187

2 жыл бұрын

yeahh ive only seen a few POV tiktoks that are actually the viewer’s point of view

@katec2886

2 жыл бұрын

they originally started like actual povs like "POV youre sitting behind the mean girl" but now its just kind of a word people tack on

@_slvgnt

2 жыл бұрын

@@katec2886 I’m brazilian and here it has been a lot worse because it seems like nobody ever knew the real meaning, so it’s always just ???? it’s not even a third person view, it’s just pov: random sentence

It was so wholesome to see Jarvis laughing at the Hebrews joke, because I’ve heard it 90000 times growing up in church and watching him process and then love it was just so happy for me

"Her Favourite Colour was Red I dressed in red I painted in red I dyed my hair red" She still left him on red

@Ducky55-zk1vx

2 ай бұрын

Omg no 😨

@evanshere484

Ай бұрын

underatted comment

We’ve got to appreciate the VOLUME Jarvis’ Afro has gotten we love to see it ✨

@lanceelliott2504

2 жыл бұрын

Jordan too! They're killing it

@finnmurphyfilms

2 жыл бұрын

fr the first thing I thought seeing him, it's looking sick

@broadex9080

2 жыл бұрын

One of my peers had one too in my high school.

@breezemansker3366

2 жыл бұрын

No really he is looking fine asf

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

Yesss between you and me it suits him extremely well

And the sad thing is his audience is mainly young children, so they are being told that self harm and eating disorders are normal things for people to deal with, not serious mental struggles.

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

Not even normal things... almost _trendy_ may I say??

@feykingjulian

2 жыл бұрын

@@hnnh7263 that's awful, i'm sorry you have to deal with that :( it reminds me a lot of the 2010s sh/ed culture on tumblr back when i was a teen. idk why but these things seem to find ways of making themselves online trends one way or another. my guess is that a lot of people want to see something they relate to cope, but it kind of spirals out of control from there and harms more than it helps, but thats just my outside perspective. anyways i hope you're doing well

@Shizuzuka

2 жыл бұрын

Wattpad

@witchypoo7353

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. This guy is romanticizing this shit & it’s disgusting

@thine.

2 жыл бұрын

like they're teaching them that as soon as any MINOR PROBLEM happens, its normal to get into very bad things

13:20 come on man you know she didnt send that text. she cant even read

11:21 isnt the strong boy thing what teachers say when they need someone to move chairs or other shit for them ? but when theyre teaching like 10 yos ???

When you pointed out the wet-looking hair, it made me think that he would just have these ideas in the shower every time and immediately make them. No shade, the thought of that is just funny to me ETA: the rosy cheeks also fit in with the shower thoughts theory

@garfieldbrooks

2 жыл бұрын

holy shit i think u cracked it

@gracejordan110

2 жыл бұрын

or he’s just got rosacea but it’s hard to know for sure

@littlefox8352

2 жыл бұрын

He also gets sad while showering, that's why he can cry so easily afterwards.

@skipsal

2 жыл бұрын

and the tears are just shower water!

@kai_fatallysapphic

2 жыл бұрын

How does a shower make your cheeks rosy? Guess since it's 80f here I can't fathom having a shower above skin temperature

" She couldn't read" It reminds me classic : " She was a poem, but he couldn't read".

@emilylike-the-soup2502

2 жыл бұрын

“He was Jared, he was 19.”

@nahida_haverr

2 жыл бұрын

the fact that i was just watching kurtis-

@typuheli

2 жыл бұрын

@@nahida_haverr Me too! I knew it from the Kurtis video

@TealAstronaut

Жыл бұрын

God I forgot about that lol

@ironwraith852

Жыл бұрын

@@emilylike-the-soup2502 no, it was “He was Jared, 19.” There was no second He Was.

thank u for the warnings jarvis!! i have an ED and struggle with SH, so i highly appreciate it i feel like especially with the ED related tiktoks he really romanticises it and i hate it. it's literally hell on earth to have them and i just wish ppl stfu about it if they don't go thru that shit

@StandAloneSoul

2 ай бұрын

I agree. He's trying to make it about him, too and it's disgraceful.

8:01 me at passover

@Imhannahschrader

Ай бұрын

yess good idea

Fun Fact: Everyone watching this channel is premium, you're now on the VIP section of KZread.

@monstrkidd

2 жыл бұрын

nice

@yostinator81

2 жыл бұрын

So glad to be premium

@RedShadowAMV

2 жыл бұрын

Is it premium because this is where he uploads more consistently

@dolphinman9896

2 жыл бұрын

yay ty for the vip pass youtube user night monkey

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

THAT IS A FACT CHECK TRUE

People on Tik Tok really don't understand what POV means. I don't know why this bothers me so much but it really does. 😂 If it's something like "POV - you're being bullied" then the person on camera should be the bully, and they should be bullying the camera, because that's the representation of "you." If the person on camera is being bullied then it's just a story or skit, not a POV.

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

Someone a few comments up from you said that perhaps we have a mirror in our hands? that's the only way it could be a pov lol-

@ashleycreps9282

2 жыл бұрын

Must be a 3rd person POV

@cael_aj

2 жыл бұрын

@@ashleycreps9282 I mean like I guess but I feel like the majority of videos are in 3rd person POV which defeats the purpose of saying "POV." Imo. But I can't tell if it bothers me because I'm a writer or if I'm just an asshole 😂

@madeniquevanwyk

2 жыл бұрын

Yeahhhh the moment the POV thing started it was okay but then when everyone started doing it and it became so huge, I guess a bunch of idiots also contributed and misunderstood it. Or, my other theory is that it's just become part of the tiktok vernacular now so that when someone makes a normal video/skit, instead of writing "someone fell at the movies" they write "pov you see someone falling at the movies" as a way of including the audience I guess?? Either way agreed, it's annoying

@RaeneTheFaerie

2 жыл бұрын

@@madeniquevanwyk There really is no way in justifying the misuse of POV. I feel like it boils down to people failing English class or not reaching the reading level where perspective narrative is discussed.

as someone whos cheeks are naturally like that most days, thank you for the compliment jarvis

@Sunflower_ashy

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. We love that natural blush tho

@evanshere484

Ай бұрын

same

a lot of this is harmless, but i do think certain approaches to self harm can be really dangerous! the one about cutting yourself from being rejected by a potential partner is normalizing that behavior to an extent, because it is framed only as something relatable, and not framed as a serious concern. it can lead impressionable children to not realize it is not normal/healthy to be reduced to self harm urges because of social interactions!

@mustsebra

2 жыл бұрын

yeah, I have a pretty serious problem with self-harm and even though I am working (VERY hard) on it, it is still super difficult because it can become a habit quite easily when your mental health is not exactly in the best shape. If I was a content creator, I would never use self-harm as a way of being relatable and gain views and attention, it is just disgusting to me tbh because it’s such a serious topic. Like I had to get four stitches after a huge breakdown just lately, this shit is not a topic you should even WANT to relate to, let alone make videos that romanticise it. Some of these “influencers” just make me cringe very hard but when I see lowkey harmful content being posted, it actually makes me mad

@axdonat

2 жыл бұрын

yeah exactly, it's also manipulative as hell and very toxic (and i say that as a person that does SH)

@icesquare

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! I’ve seen videos that do genuinely discourage sh while being comforting, but this ain’t it.

@welcometomylife5447

Жыл бұрын

Yeah his content is really not taken seriously understandably so I wish he wouldn’t make content like that he just makes a joke out of it ( I struggle with sh) and i looked at his TikTok and he didn’t even bother to put a trigger warning

@llyn5759

Жыл бұрын

@@axdonat are you calling SH manipulative or did I misunderstand? Because most people who SH hide it.

i need a loop of jarvis saying “he’s such a bitćh” that was hilarious and adorable

@sambeaulynneolivier4821

2 жыл бұрын

same i cant stop giggling

@applesandcheese25

2 жыл бұрын

beiche

if this guy could just take a step back he would realise that the "she can't read" content is absolute comedy GOLD, I burst out laughing when the first one came on

11:25 its crazy teachers actually did ask that. super creepy

I would love to see a version where it's revealed that the new boyfriend taught the ex how to read and he's celebrating by buying her a book

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

YES AND ITS A NEW BOOK AS WELL FROM THE BEST SELLER LIST 😭✊✨ The new boyfriend is just so kind to her 🥺💗

@224ryan

2 жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 Meanwhile her ex is just stalking her current boyfriend.

@sequinjin8332

2 жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 like honestly she deserves her new man so much more than calvin

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

@@sequinjin8332 Ugh, so true I've been saying this all along.

@sequinjin8332

2 жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 exactly. like good for her 💅her new man is so sweet, teaching her to read and everything and even buying her books? omg calvin could never

About wedding objections: before the internet, and before we would write everything down, the only way you knew something was up would be gossip and witnesses. Basically the objections were so anyone who knew something that would damage the sanctity of marriage (adultery, fraud, etc) would be able to call it out. It’s done now just for performance reasons and holds no real reason… if you were to object at a wedding today it would basically just make everyone really uncomfortable and the wedding would continue.

@Hopning

2 жыл бұрын

Slight correction, some churches do care about objections and if someone objects (even as a joke or if it's clearly a lie) the church has to investigate the objection and the wedding cannot continue. So it is mostly just tradition nowadays but sometimes it does matter

@loopd121

2 жыл бұрын

I could be wrong given I heard this on an episode of QI, but apparently the only valid objection used to be if the bride had been previously married to the groom's brother? So it's interesting to see how that's changed to now include arguably more important things 😅

@LikeSoTotallyRandom

2 жыл бұрын

@@loopd121 oddly specific i wanna know the story of how that came about

@noisy_killjoy

Жыл бұрын

@@LikeSoTotallyRandom it’s something to do with the bible I think. People used to think it would mean the couple would never have kids. It’s the reason Henry VIII claimed to want to divorce Cathrine if Aragon

@iwakeupandboomimarat

Жыл бұрын

@@LikeSoTotallyRandom its actually the reason henry viii tried to divorce his first wife, she was betrothed to his brother who had died and there was no proof that they did or did not consummate the marriage

I wish all of his tik toks were just the "me knowing she can't read" ones. those were bangers

1:49 robber was like "fuck dude, get therapy. You got issues if you're this suicidal."

Objecting to weddings used to be a thing because sometimes in the past you'd end up almost marrying distant cousins, or maybe one of the people was a criminal on the run or had skipped out on a previous marriage and was still legally married to someone else. Info like that wasn't as easy to find back in the day, so sometimes it would take getting a bunch of people together at the wedding to realize. These days it's an archaic practice that many people are cutting out of their ceremonies. Although my aunt had a Renaissance themed wedding and one of their LARP friends challenged her groom to a sword battle at that part, which was pretty funny. He lost and they gave him a ring pop.

@allisonavery7273

2 жыл бұрын

Lol, that sounds like a blast

@eldritchabomination9726

7 ай бұрын

Wait, did the friend lose or the groom? Either way, sounds super fun

@sophdog2564

7 ай бұрын

@@eldritchabomination9726 the friend lost haha

I told my step mom the “he brews” joke and she got a kick out of it. Honestly I’m gonna use that one again it’s my exact sense of humor.

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE THAT ONE. Except I always heard it with coffee instead of tea lol 😅

@gracejordan110

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve always heard it “then he sells it for a profit (prophet)”

@eponymouselias

2 жыл бұрын

@@gracejordan110 omfg I love that so much

@hiba_stxr

Жыл бұрын

Well I would except I’m not a Christian

@gracejordan110

Жыл бұрын

@@hiba_stxr Depending on where you live, most people would still get the joke. I’m a staunch atheist and I make jokes about the Bible all the time.

I can’t help but feel that telling people their self harm and eating disorders are normal and relatable is dangerous, and that romanticising them / using them for clout is exploitation

15:02 Me knowing he can't read

"are his cheeks always so rosy? he looks like a pikachu" -i burst out laughing

@liesalllies

2 жыл бұрын

Which is cool! It looks cool!

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

​@@liesalllies Your username makes your reply 1000 times better xD

I’m pretty sure the wedding objections thing started so that way in case it turned out the person you were marrying wasn’t a good person someone in your family could say hold up we have objections to this marriage, and it was back when like arranged marriages and like forced marriages were a big thing, there are still some people today who use it for that reason, my now adoptive dad objected at my birth mother‘s wedding to my abusive stepdad…. Nothing came of it but he tried to stop it from happening because he knew my stepdad was a shitty person and my mom wasn’t listening to anybody and he felt that was the only way to get it to stop hopefully…….i mean it didn’t but he tried

@Anna-B

2 жыл бұрын

I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement at church weddings, to make sure there isn’t a reason for the wedding to be invalid (sense it’s a sacrament). Like a previous marriage or something

@Naharu.

2 жыл бұрын

My mom's friend jad her wedding be interrupted by a friend with proofs her groom was cheating.the wedding was called off but they still had cake

@Attilablabla

2 жыл бұрын

@@Anna-B yep, that's why you need to apply for a marriage license in advance, so they can check if you're already married. So before you got married you had to announce it 2 weeks in advance, so if someone knew you were already married in another town or sth they'd have time to travel and stop the wedding

@sarahgent2674

2 жыл бұрын

​@@Attilablabla certainly the only objections I can think of in more classical media are Much Ado About Nothing and Jane Eyre, both of which are legal/religious (Much Ado he wrongly thinks she isn't a "maiden" and also cheated on him, Jane Eyre he has a secret wife in the attic) rather than "don't marry him I'm in love with you" or even "don't marry him he's not a good person"

@LilDinoGuy

2 жыл бұрын

I'm pretty sure legally they don't really do anything to stop a wedding unless the objection pertains to their legal marriageability- like if someone found out that they're cousins, for instance.

10:21 Or he's a stalker and he just showed up.

@ORAKLE

Жыл бұрын

He’s in custody currently

11:16 did ur teachers not say that?? :o

her new boyfriend taking her out to eat: me knowing she only consumes the blood of the innocent:

I legitimately cackled at “I got you a book” “Aw, thanks!” (Me knowing she can’t read) I did not understand that one at first but even after the actual explanation, it’s still pretty funny ngl

@cheesegal4924

2 жыл бұрын

He bought her a poem... But she couldn't read...

@LilDinoGuy

2 жыл бұрын

Hold on, there's an actual explanation?

@lauratroy13

2 жыл бұрын

@@LilDinoGuy it's weirdly specific and personal. Some girl who couldn't read hurt him and he made multiple 'relatable' tiktoks about it 😁

@Zabe_B

2 жыл бұрын

@@lauratroy13 bruh he knows she'll never find out he made tiktoks about her because she cant read

@lauratroy13

2 жыл бұрын

@@Zabe_B not necessary to find out. Hurt dudes make tiktoks about the most random shit and advertise it as relatable stuff as if everyone has already been in this situation 😁

just a note, as someone with adhd and asd, i really appreciate the little timer bar you put on your sponsorship plugs, i have time anxiety, its hard to explain but having a visual representation of how long that segment is is really great. so thanks.

@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseforme

2 жыл бұрын

ME TOO I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

Wait, a comment on the “teacher saying strong boy” part. In my middle school, teachers would always say they needed a “strong young man” to do stuff like lift a box. It was clearly a joke that worked in their favor because it would make all the macho-wannabes offer themselves up easily.

I heard it’s free to be a Gold Jarvis Johnson member

@alexx5064

2 жыл бұрын

oh shiiiit dude, is this a crossover episode???

@Tw0Dots

2 жыл бұрын

Hey Bills!

@starrr365

2 жыл бұрын

It's free. It is free.

@BillsYT

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexx5064 it could be lmao

@BillsYT

2 жыл бұрын

@@Tw0Dots hey!

"just because something is your favorite colour doesn't mean you change everything in your life to that color" people who like the color purple: 👀

@farenbrosca9496

2 жыл бұрын

Why is this so freaking accurate??

@johnmarkther2218

Жыл бұрын

@@farenbrosca9496 right??? My auntie did the same and i thought it was just a her thing

7:40 ty for this honestly it means a lot i like your videos bc they make me feel better so this little message means a lot, to know that we're not alone

the way jarvis says "it is free" in the beginning of every gold video makes me think that it's not actually free and i've been unknowingly paying to see these videos the whole time

we know life was hard for you growing up Jarvis, we all remember back to drinking our mother's breast milk aged 10+

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

Not me, I always drank from my work colleagues wife 😋

@finnmurphyfilms

2 жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 whatever it takes for the boobie✊✊

@mau6068

2 жыл бұрын

Then his girlfriend 🌝

@popfrog2546

Жыл бұрын

@@themandarin9493 oh 🧌

every great actor always keeps an onion on standby, Jarvis.

@estella610

2 жыл бұрын

I'm surprised that jarvis didn't know this.. I thought he was some kind of expert but ig not

@keuschheitsgurte

2 жыл бұрын

not related but i love the jinx pfp

@yesterday00

2 жыл бұрын

@@keuschheitsgurte 😊 thanks

@XiaoIsMyHusbandBTW

2 жыл бұрын

i want to eat fried onions right now

@kai_fatallysapphic

2 жыл бұрын

Onions sure make me cry, the texture is just unbearable! Taste is okay tho

Thank you for including timeskips for the trigger warnings Jarvis! I feel really safe when watching your channel

To answer Jarvis's question, the whole "objection" thing at weddings was started as a way of saying "hey if anyone knows a legal reason why these two can't be married tell us please" (I.E: The bride and groom are siblings, the bride or groom is already married, etc.)

can confirm teachers LOVE to say 'i need a strong boy to help me'. kindergarten me was so pissed off bc I was literally twice the height of every guy in the class

@1ndiasmusic

11 ай бұрын

I was tiny and weak but you fucking know I carried twice as much as any of the boys. I was fuelled by pure spite and that’s more powerful than anything

I personally enjoy the "funny friend" video when he says "why don't I have anyone to talk to :(" immediately after being asked "are you okay?"

9:26 I thought the priest was going to have said "you weren't the one" and I was going to laugh. "Nah, the kingdom of Heaven decided no."

12:43 you know, when she changes elementary school, the new teachers might not know her like you did😭😔

The way Jarvis yells "HEBREWS" after getting it is my favorite thing

The opening to this channel is just everything. I always laugh. The faint Goldmember "gold"... the pause after the um. 10/10 will watch again.

@curnies

2 жыл бұрын

Wow I commented before the first POV was like "she was my everything." But seriously it is everything 😂😂😂

@auri7442

2 жыл бұрын

I can’t lie…. It’s why I subscribed, I can’t get enough of this intro

@natvasch6399

2 жыл бұрын

@@curnies robber: give me everything! Me: i can‘t. Jarvis johnson „goooooold“ was my everything.

@natvasch6399

2 жыл бұрын

But like, seriously though, I do love that intro and I do like being called premium 😂

13:56 As someone with anorexia, seeing tiktoks trivializing something that interferes with nearly every aspect of my life is a tad infuriating, but you do you, tiktok e-boys.

i love that at 7:23 Jarvis reaches up and seems to cover the screen of his computer like that’ll keep the final sentence in that tiktok from being seen. it is the same visceral response i had to get away from that sentence as quick as possible

Thanks for content warnings. Especially for eating disorders. Most people don't do that. It was so good dude. I loved how happy you were the entire time you were talking about this emo lil sad boi XD

@millies2788

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I really appreciated that!

@garfield6855

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I absolutely agree!

"POV you're the funny friend" almost hit home because I stubbornly try to tell jokes instead of talking about my feelings but for them to ask for jokes while he's having a breakdown is some next level shit. "hey funnyman, stop crying and make me laugh"

@broadex9080

2 жыл бұрын

Same

13:29 spitting facts ngl 🥶

her new boyfriend is helping her learn to read and calvin never even TRIED

The question about objections was originally done in case someone knew a legal reason why the couple couldn't get married, i.e. if one of them was already married to someone else or if they were related to each other etc. I used to work at a church in England where they were still doing this as a formality though not on the wedding day but during 3 services leading up to the wedding.

as someone who cries at literally everything, i can feel my tear ducts literally shriveling up

10:48 When you put it this way - this is the only time some people get to say "I do" on a wedding.

Originally, wedding objections were intended for someone to give a legitimate reason the couple shouldn't be married (e.g. an undeclared previous marriage) :)

@JasminMiettunen

2 жыл бұрын

That makes actual sense, I always wondered what the point was, other than for movies to have a good part for the main character to burst into the church smh

@rayafoxr3

2 жыл бұрын

Damn snitches

the 'me knowing she can't read' is too funny 😭

I just wanted to say that I appreciate the content warnings, and that this video was amazing keep up the good work

6:13 bro showed us two pictures of kevin gates and thought we wouldn’t notice 😒🙄

I love a man who shows emotion and isn’t afraid to cry in front of me when he finds out I can’t read

7:45 "let me show my support for those who can relate by posting something that could trigger them or show them that it's okay to do this behavior." When i was doing that stuff, i would have saw this and been like, "oh good, i'm not weird. i don't need to tell my mom about anything i'm dealing with."

13:47-13:50 This guy using the topics of self harm and eating disorders for content/views/likes is not okay ☹️. I agree with you Jarvis…

1:43 If he still had her would he just hand her over to the robber?

POV: you’re Calvin’s friend group Friend 1: so hey what’s everyone’s type? Friend 2: I like brunettes Friend 3: I prefer blondes Friend 1: I like redheads. What about you Calvin? Calvin*crying*: i like it when she can’t read.

dude love your videos and bless your heart for the trigger warnings and skip timers

the “me knowing she can’t read” ones are easily the funniest ones

4:45 Ah yes, the sad lip bite

He was a poem But she couldn't read

@rono3457

Жыл бұрын

(I'm the Lorax I speak for the trees)

in my experience, teachers have asked for strong boys/men, particularly in younger grades

@broadex9080

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds like a massive red flag Jesus we’re did you go to school.

@dianaburn2474

2 жыл бұрын

@@broadex9080 It was common in my classes as well, circa 2000s - early 2010s in the United States.

@paitincartwright

2 жыл бұрын

I found in high school our principles would always ask for a strong boy, we never had a woman principle in my rural high school

@modenavigationprivee1227

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah that happened

@gracieegrapee

2 жыл бұрын

Same i remember being in primary, sorry from uk don’t know what primary is in other places, if the teacher needed help moving equipment or anything of that nature it was always ‘excuse miss can i just ask for some strong boys to help me out?’ my old primary school has a lot of sexist memories for me lol

it's like the "she was a poem but he couldn't read" meme except it's "he bought her a book but she couldn't read"

6:35 I thought you said "there's funnier fish in the sea" and I was like "damn, brutal"

I’m only speaking from my perspective and as someone in recovery for an ED, but I actually really liked the one ED tiktok Jarvis showed. To me it reminded me that my loved ones care and I felt gratitude for my partner’s support. It kinda made me realize that we might not always need to talk about things in a serious context for it to be helpful. But that’s just how I see it :)

@mastermarkus5307

2 жыл бұрын

I just can't tell how serious this TikTok guy is. Also, I'm now really bothered by how "eating disorders" and "erectile dysfunction" have the same initialism.

I remember in 4th class the teacher asked for strong boys to carry chairs across the auditorium and my tiny self carried 3 chairs at once (and nearly passed out) trying to prove little girls can be strong too lol.

i like how none of these tik tokkers know what pov means like its never point of view

@lissq2769

2 жыл бұрын

Yessss this always gets on my wick, they toss POV around

6:56 that’s a whole lotta red

@ORAKLE

Жыл бұрын

Playboi carti!!

I always watched Jarvis, Kurtis, Danny, Drew, Cody, & Noel’s videos all the time when I was pregnant with my son and now he’s six months old and he always turns his head and watches when he hears their voices. I call them uncle Jarvis, uncle Kurtis, etc 😂

Asking for objections from those in attendance was, in older times, a way to prevent incest. The families at the weddings would talk and trace it back before the ceremony and if there were any concerns, someone could object to the wedding. In some cultures were you can't trust people outside the family, the families would trace it back before the ceremony in the hopes of finding common ancestors. Im certain there are a myriad of other reasons why someone might object to a wedding outside of being an edgy 14 year old, but this is the one I know about. The more you know.

7:06 Me, with purple hair, purple tattoos, sitting in my purple clothes on my purple sofa in my living room with the walls painted purple, typing on my purple phone: Oh..

@llyn5759

Жыл бұрын

I used to live in a somewhat well-known coastal town, and this woman (she's still alive) who was like 70 at the time was always dressed head to toe in purple. Purple high heels, purple purse, glasses...even purple index cards for her shopping lists. She showed me a picture of her house and.....lol all purple. It was particularly funny because she was so "normal" and social and loved by everyone, she was just a normal grandma who happened to be obsessed with purple lol. I looked her up and her husband died a few years ago. He hated purple but loved her. She buried him in a purple shirt against his wishes 🤣🤣🤣

7:33 Depending on the interpretation of this exchange, you could argue it's a very wrong thing to do; like, the video doesn't seem to discourage self-harm and it gives of a vibe of "I'm doing it, because it grabs attention and a noticeable percent of young people that actually struggle will gravitate towards this kind of content". It's not lighthearted fun anymore, as the topic is serious. And I don't think the guy lists any sources for actually getting help, so it's really messed up. I'm not in a vulnerable position, so it doesn't bother me personally, but I know a bunch of people that this video would have a harmful impact on, as many people struggling through depression and self-harm in general are just a few bad things from total collapse (trying to use lighter words).

The illiterate girlfriend thing is the funniest shit ngl. The fact that it's so specific, done multiple times, and is treated seriously... I can't 😂

I love how he, on a dime just says "is that hetrochromia?" And then after a second goes right back to talking about the tiktoc

POV: you are a premium Jarvis Johnson viewer and he just released a new video about POV TikToks.

@themandarin9493

2 жыл бұрын

😭🖐️

@oldveryveryoldmanfromthe1900s

2 жыл бұрын

The is is so sad 🤓🤓🤓

@Ekut3n

Жыл бұрын

POV: You’re watching a premium Jarvis Johnson viewer watch a new video about POV TikToks.

5:25 It was weird hearing Jarvis say that he loves me. I love you too bb (my name is Calvin)

damn... when I was robbed last summer, I should've used the line "he was my everything" when they asked me to give them everything... after one of the robbers literally ripped my crossbody purse off of me and grabbed my phone out of my hoodie. yeah, that definitely would've made them stop and feel bad 🙄