She elevates the discourse to such a high level on everything she touches.

@YuyiLeal

Жыл бұрын

agreed!!!🙌🏻

I so appreciate how much you embrace reality and honesty, and never devolve into trite “self-help” approaches to problems. I’m currently caring for my 84-year old dad and each day I find myself choking up and holding back emotion. But once in bed, I let the tears flow, because the reality is, it’s a shitty, painful situation and I want to be honest with myself about it. Doing that lets me move toward acceptance and appreciation of the time I’ve had and have left with him. I’m not remotely happy at the moment, but do feel more at ease, even if uncomfortably at ease. Thanks for being awesome.

@leonorlizardo9174

Жыл бұрын

I went thru what you're going thru in 2006 with my beloved Father. All you can do is to be present, look after him,and hold his hand. This time with him is bittersweet. Yet for me it was the best place to be until the end. Good that u let out your emotions. This care taking will be over soon enough and you have honored your,Father and the universe rewarded me tenfold. Blessings and,light.

@leticianoto2434

Жыл бұрын

Couldn't agree more

@htttppppp

Жыл бұрын

Hah! I just wrote a comment about accepting whatever comes your way. I nursed my dad of 78. He passed away in January. though it was hard physically and emotionally I accepted everything and now I am content and satisfied even if sometimes I’m guilt ridden but that guilt is just bullshit thought trying to steal my joy of life and I don’t let it. That’s also how you become happy. Happy is freedom from guilt.

@leonorlizardo9174

Жыл бұрын

@@htttppppp Wonderful that you took care of your Dad and glad u try to let go of guilt. Be kind to yourselve.

As a therapist I wish we had more required reading from Esther perel in grad school. I’ve learned so much from her, and her confidence translates to strength

@lancedukel3436

Жыл бұрын

Really? Check out her education.

In my own life, the feeling of contentment has more substance than happiness.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

4 ай бұрын

love this ❤

I typically aim for contentment because it seems more sustainable. It seems as though happiness is at an extreme and if you attempt to dwell in an extreme, it can numb you to nuance. Contentment for me includes all the range of emotions including sadness, anger, neutrality, and so on. I haven't been joyous or happy in a long time, but I am quite content.

@nessav7258

Жыл бұрын

I read somewhere that happiness if fleeting. I prefer contentment too. It is appreciating, liking and accepting where you are now with what you have now.

This is one of the best analysis of the reality that every human has to go across throughout his life, almost every day such is experienced as of big concern. The real answer to this problem is exactly what she advised, let it go and don't treat yourself too hard for what it may or it may not happen to create this assumed happiness for yourself. Find happiness by the minutes, by the hours of the present is the key. Working towards the goals of today leaving the ones within the category of far more lengthy in terms of months or years to its due time. Put them in drawers that without opening the 1st drawer(* the most immediate ones, today, tomorrow, this week ) the things found in the 2nd or 3rd drawers will never be achieved. Prioritize, but with true legitimacy and real value as she said.

Excellent perspective. I also think we're in an upward revolution to figure out how to live happier lives. New generations evolving to feel safe, secure and happy without hard labor in excess, a bazillion daily tasks to fit in, essential tasks to just survive and feel a safe road ahead of you. I yearn for the progress. Creative minds are locked up until they are safe to explore without risk to their freedom. I look forward to learning from your wisdom❤

Good to be here ❤ Yes, happiness is a very coveted and aspired feelings, emotions, continuous events and state of life.

This message was so inspiring!! I felt such a huge sense of relief! I adopting this way of living starting today. Thank you!!

"Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward suffering. With the very desire for happiness, out of delusion they destroy their own happiness as if it were an enemy." Shantideva

@Takatukata

Жыл бұрын

guilty 🤚🏼

@SlimeVideo-pw7rd

5 ай бұрын

Hi

Living in a place of gratitude is the way to be in contentment, happy is a moment to moment feeling along the way on your purpose.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

4 ай бұрын

❤

Someone once said “ happiness is just an ambiance”… it’s the profoundness of our experience that matter while we experiencing or looking back ;)

It is painful seeing our children unhappy, so this wish is very understandable. However, the expectation to be consistenly happy is impossible; we live in a world where we face challenges, big and small daily, both from the external world and our own internal beliefs. Both my sons are now in their teens and I wish for them the strength, compassion and wisdom to face all their challenges (besides which, living in eternal bliss must eventually become a little bit boring).

Yes!! Totally agree. Aim for a good, fulfilled life and contentment or happiness will follow (I hope)

Thank you!!! This is a huge stress that society has stowed upon is! Everyone feels entitled to happiness, it has brain washed us. I feel that life is hard, and happiness is just glimpses that we are treated to. Can’t be happy all the time! I think peace is a better goal to achieve, but then again, if u own a business, stress is the way of life. So people need to brace themselves, life is a bumpy ride!

Found Esther after reading The Gottman’s book and Dr. Sue Johnson’s book. Esther is another gem.

Very good video. Absolutely an amazing.

Happiness is sheer contentment, inspiration and delight…

Thank you for all the insightful content that you create and provide! I have benefitted from it greatly for years since I found you and your channel!

She's got some lovely cushions. Make me happy

There’s a type of a relationship with God that says that heaven begins on earth and yes,hell can happen here too. Been there. And in that sense happiness is not what you are striving for but simplicity of life in life’s struggles. This is just to add to what’s been said. I agree with what you said. In conclusion simplicity is the key that I use. Just accept yourself and everything that comes with childlike simplicity. Of course feeling content is what we want not happy. That’s a true goal for me. And being content is being grateful and that’s paradise. What’s there to want beyond contentment?

Such a beautifull and truthfull perspective on life!

This is magnificent. Thank you for your elevated thoughts.

Gods, how I love this woman! Found her a few years back, and I’m eternally grateful for her.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

4 ай бұрын

❤

Esther, thank you, you are a revelation. Embrace the full fan of emotions and nuances life offers.

It makes me happy to hear someone say something that makes sense. Thank you!

So profound and inspiring. Thank you Esther.

DAS kommt zur richtigen Zeit und tut gut zu hören. Ich mache gerade eine anstrengende Fortbildung und bin deshalb nicht sonderlich ausgeglichen und ausgeruht und in der Folge schweben manchmal auch graue Wolken über mir. Ich habe mich deshalb schon oft gefragt, ob ich meine Zeit verschwende, weil ich gerade nicht so glücklich bin. Dein Video hat es etwas gerade gerückt. Merci beaucoup!

"Pursuit Happiness, construct Happiness": Beautiful words....so true.. so real they are facts. Thanks for open our eyes.

Thank you Esther! 🙏🏼

Absolutely true. And so well explained . Thanks a lot .

Thank you Esther! This is really helpful and I totally agree :) Love your channel and listening to you.

This is so profound on so many levels. Thank you.

So on point! Beautifully said

Wow so rich and eloquently said. In this constant pursuit of happiness culture we need a voice like Esther’s.

You look beautiful, Esther! Thank you for all that you do.

Live a fulfilling life! Terrific video.

Thank you for this, Esther.

I can’t stress it enough well said Esther people look at me crazy when I tell them this exact thing!! I always tell them one day you will understand.

You amazing, I love hearing your insight. I listen to your podcast every time I am in the car and I'm inspired to become a therapist.

I have watched this woman for a while. I swear she gets better looking as she ages. She is amazing

Everyone should hear this.👍 I'm a big fan of you, I have learned so much.

I agree! I also think that although it's amazing that we have more mental health awareness there's kind of a sense of shared learned helplessness vs true mental health strife/diagnosis. And I say this as someone who has mental health issues and is an aspirant health professional so please don't think I'm minimising mental illnesses.

Happiness is highly connected with gratefulness.

Everyone should hear this.

Love this vid! Thank you.

Well said, it's a value that goes into how we are involved in each experience, to value the quality of my presence into whatever I am experiencing, to be present to the truth that comes from within.

@maryshivy2799

Жыл бұрын

@Tyrone Kurt Hi Tyrone My day here is quiet,contentment reigns and it is HHH on a Monday in PA Let me know how you are and what brings you to reply?

You’ve taught so much about love and what it truly is. Thank you. So grateful to be human and okay with what is 🤍💚💜 Grateful for it all 💟

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

4 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

I do agree ! Thank you!

What a woman!!! ❤❤❤ My god

Fantastic! 100% agree

Yes, thank you. This is what I also think about those life coach individuals that tell people their work should inspire them and make them happy. So annoying,

It's interesting that the "pursuit of happiness" is part of the Declaration of Independence. Has this historic document contributed to these issues, particularly in the US?

Well Esther, my idea of happiness comes from two places. First of all, an old man who would take long walks with and talk about what had made a worthwhile life. The correct choices he'd made, the instincts he had followed. I think for some people, like my wife, they're trying to find happiness, but they wouldn't know happiness if they found it. Even in their mind, they can't truly imagine what it feels like. Yes, worry, stress, challenges, those don't have to be separate from happiness. Not at all. But you're right, there is an "end result happiness", and I'm thinking of something that resonated in a home-study philosophy course (I could probably find it). It goes like this, in support of the man who is searching for clarity, searching for the truth. If he can find just 10 minutes of that clarity, it will have been worth the whole of the rest of his life.

Me encanta su pensamiento complejo.

Thank you ❤️

Thank you.

Good points!! Pressure to be happy is sad

What defines happiness really? Isn't it all those little moments throughout the day that make us smile, laugh, feel happy, safe, content, fulfilled, enjoying a moment of quiet or beauty and sure there are all the other not to happy emotions but dont they all pass neither stay all the time. And isn't a happy life creating, recognising and surrounding ourselves with as many of these little moments as we can ? That's living a rich life to me.

Happiness is impossible because happiness is the absent of happiness since there is no happiness higher than rest.

I decided this a week ago... only happy thoughts all bad thoughts are now left behind me...we are in control of our thoughts. It is a choice❤️🙏🌏

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

4 ай бұрын

we can choose better thoughts ❤❤

I get so excited when you post. 😭😭😭😭

You are just extraordinary. Would love to see you and Jordan Peterson talk.

Great points

Beautiful!

Hi Esther! Lately I have been feeling blue. Empty nest and overwork. I have glimpses of Joy but not happy all the time. Curious to listen to you today! Best wishes from Madeira island

@esthersantos_1

Жыл бұрын

Let’s change living places. That can make you happier. You can come to Puerto Plata, DR and I go to Madeira 🤩

I sense that the pursuit of happiness is often an American thing. I lived in Germany and Austria for a total of two years in the 1990s. At that time, I didn't get the impression that happiness was something important in those countries. In fact, for the Germans, they lived with the burden of the Holocaust and were still trying to find a public sense of humor. The French haven't been known for being concerned about happiness either, although that could have changed. I think Americans haven't experienced the cataclysms that have afflicted the European continent for millenia and believe that pain is something that is the exception, not the norm.

I grew up with the adages, "if she ain't b-tchen, she ain't happy." And, "If mamma isn't happy, nobody's happy." There seems to be both male and female views of the same issue, namely, make 'her' happy or else! I believe corporate marketing propaganda takes some responsibility here.

@RoyalGuardEziode

Жыл бұрын

I've never seen propaganda to make "just her" happy. even if there was, i think anybody would put themselves first unless they love someone, and even then, would balance it

I needed this video

Brilliant.

I love her so much.

I agree with you. This movement is slightly tackled by several groups raising it's voice telling "It's ok, not to be ok". So maybe the Aristotelian way of thinking the "good" lies in the middle (but is not mediocrity!) or the simple biblical phrase in the Psalms "everything has it's time" apply to this "happyness mandate". I need to giggle 'cause just this ironic thought crossed my mind: be happy or die... 🤣😂 Thanks Ester!

Balance comes from contrast. If we did not dream big, we would never find a middle ground between those dreams and our suffering. People deserve to find as much happiness as possible. Our models may be unreasonable and inconsistent and we should ask all the questions and pose all the scrutiny she does, but our species has not found any sort of balance that leads to the best path and that means growing pains…. Happiness is a very real thing that extends beyond the simplified versions that trigger cynical feelings in those who’ve had to psychologically evolve a deeper sense of what it means to fight their suffering and it means more than things like life going perfectly and nothing ever goes wrong or you are ecstatically raptured with positive feelings at all times, but all versions are valid. Life contrasts and you cannot be happy without struggle. You are born into struggle and soon after you laugh. If a person chose that paradigm as complex enough for them to be happy and it was reasonable for them to hold onto that without creating suffering, who are we to say that’s not valid? We do not have constants on any side. The new words we are finding to give legitimacy to our imbalances are sometimes attempts to create balance and happiness. Sometimes they cause more suffering sometimes they help us get closer to that balance. The wisdom she is sharing is accurate, but people are people and in fact the potency of happiness people experience before the wisdom kicks in can be much much more elating. In a way it’s all sad and in a way it’s all beautiful. It’s all part of growing up and being British. One thing people shouldn’t take away is a positive outlook on the necessity of suffering to be happy, because that’s simply not true. We find the balance and a deeper contrasting meaning behind our version of happiness in order to fight that suffering, but the more you excuse it or call it a necessity in all it’s forms, the more difficult to impossible the response becomes. We do deserve to be happy and we do not deserve to suffer. We do suffer and we feel deeper happiness in contrast by necessity. This does not validate the suffering. But there are different outlooks and insights from day to day or moment to moment.

Welcome to in Morocco 🇲🇦🎩🙏

Happiness is a state of the mind. An inner state of being. Therefore it can exist at all moments and doesn't depend on outer conditions. It stems from an attitude of gratitude. So... First step: learn to be grateful. The rest will follow...

@dharmakaurkhalsa3923

Жыл бұрын

Happy people are not those that have it all. It's those that are happy with what they have.

We live in a sick society that's always mandating us to be happy and we tend to forget that it's ok if you're not because different situations come with different emotions.

Makes me think of We Happy Few

She's gem!

I guess it would be helpful do define ‘happiness’ 😉

Can you command someone to be happy ? Certainly not. But we can order ourselves to be happy. Everytime I feel worried, I tell myself : "Don't worry, be happy !". And it works !

Ba humbug,sometimes I just want to be left alone to wallow on the couch. I will emerge when I'm good and ready👍 Now that will make me happy🤭

For humans happiness is multiple concurrent relationships. So this is what insightful parents want for their children.

Very American I believe. The tyranny of the pursuit of happiness.

Om Shanti .

Wow!

Kudos.

the crucial point is that its a choice and NOT productive to expect exogenous supply ... gratitude is the main vector so if youre not happy its a FAILURE OF CHARACTER by refusing to be as grateful as you could be or to choose purpose over shallower metrics

“Look at the bright side.” “It could be worse.” “Don’t be a Debbie downer.”

My hero

Content. Whatever comes.

I think we need to define terms of what happiness is.

💯💯💯

you look beautiful!

Great message! What about when worrying doesnt fit the circumstances? On vacation for example. With money in the bank and food in our bellies

La procheine fois que je vien in NYC, on va parler de cette felicite qui fuite

❤️❤️❤️

She’s right.

Thank you for being here Esther ❤️

could be happyness a result of gratitude? ( not sure if my Swiss English makes sense ;-))

Buddhists came to very much the same conclusion long ago. People feel entitled to happiness (or the right to no feel pain) and now achieve this with substance abuse.