The Great Marriage Killer

Ask Pastor John
Episode: 1100
Transcript: www.desiringgod.org/interview...

Пікірлер: 116

  • @rosserscott4376
    @rosserscott43764 жыл бұрын

    Anger in me has destroyed my marriage. My wife nolonger trust me. Our divorce will be finalized soon. I have let God down. I have let my wife and kids down also. I have repented of my sins, and asked God to heal my heart and soul. I pray daily for my wife to be healed along with my children. I am fully prepared for the life of singleness if that is what God chooses for me. I love my wife and children. I am now putting God first in my life. I will never be in another relationship unless it is with my wife.

  • @hotice8885

    @hotice8885

    3 жыл бұрын

    I can hear the hurt amd disappointment, man. I am so sorry for the pain this MUST be bringing to all of you, right now. I want to urge you to keep cl8nging to what you know of the cross, meditating on what happened there, and how it applies to you, your wife, and your kids. Keep listening to what Holy Spirit says, more than ANYONE else (that *especially* includes your wife, --who, at THIS juncture, will have your thoughts in a HORRIBLE tailspin). Praying for you right now, man...

  • @lauras3002

    @lauras3002

    3 жыл бұрын

    Praying for you!

  • @zacharyseaman8880

    @zacharyseaman8880

    Жыл бұрын

    How are you doing man?

  • @rosserscott4376

    @rosserscott4376

    Жыл бұрын

    @@zacharyseaman8880 still single trying my best to persevere and follow Jesus. My kids keep me busy. I love every opportunity I get to spend with them. Thanks for asking. Hope you're doing well also.

  • @hollywinberg13

    @hollywinberg13

    5 ай бұрын

    Praying for you brother 🙏🏻

  • @mpumi6830
    @mpumi68305 жыл бұрын

    I really needed to hear this. I have allowed myself to be angry in my marriage for little things. Grateful for these podcasts.

  • @BruceJC75
    @BruceJC756 жыл бұрын

    John Piper is always right on with the scriptures! These pod casts are such a tremendous blessing!!

  • @megasuperawesomestuf

    @megasuperawesomestuf

    5 жыл бұрын

    Bruce Courtney minus the speaking in tongues bit

  • @DinahReviews
    @DinahReviews4 жыл бұрын

    In a world full of internet garbage this podcast is a huge blessing. Thankful I can go back and reference this in 2020. God is gracious.

  • @julieryan8179
    @julieryan81793 жыл бұрын

    I'm 4 years late but loving every piece of advice Pastor John has given regard to marriage. the first video was about divorce, which he did not endorse. At the time I was really upset with his recommendation but curious all the same. one sentence stuck with me: Your spouse is the person God wants for You. I began to look into this and while seeking the Lord in prayer and scripture as the days passed, the Lord has made clear the path He wants me to follow, and the more I listen and obey the more miracles I see in my life. He is working on my bitterness and giving me peace, and most importantly a new focus. Praise the Lord Jesus and Heavenly Father, to Him be the Glory forever. Seek and you will find. He wants to help so let him.

  • @michaelpugh609
    @michaelpugh6093 жыл бұрын

    I've battled anger for years, John Piper is 100% correct! I will through Jesus and the Holy Spirit defeat this spirit.

  • @davidthomspson9771
    @davidthomspson97714 жыл бұрын

    Never hold anger towards your spouse....LOVE!

  • @abdulshahidalajev115

    @abdulshahidalajev115

    2 жыл бұрын

    Always forgive her for imperfection. She is a human like you

  • @cesarluna5046
    @cesarluna50462 жыл бұрын

    Don't normally comment, but this cut into me so deeply. I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much.

  • @bridgettestokes1912
    @bridgettestokes19124 жыл бұрын

    TRUE. As we all struggle thru this life, we must Get that Nurtured anger is unforgiveness and thereby sinful. I threatened to leave my husband because I sinned against him now 5 years later he still holds it against me daily. I'm now angry with him because he won't stop reminding me of it daily. What a vicious circle. Lord Have Mercy!

  • @Chirhopher
    @Chirhopher6 жыл бұрын

    much needed. Thanks, Praise, n Glory to GOD!

  • @Tylermichealmusic
    @Tylermichealmusic3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this guys

  • @themastersvoice8636
    @themastersvoice86363 жыл бұрын

    Very good and helpful. God bless him.

  • @mary-janechambers3596
    @mary-janechambers35965 жыл бұрын

    He has such wisdom!

  • @Dandelion_flight
    @Dandelion_flight4 жыл бұрын

    I never realised I had an evil spirit of anger working in my life until God opened my eyes in 2017 through Emmanuel TV’s ministry. I know I get angry easily and people are walking on eggshells around me but I never knew it was so detrimental to me and everybody. So when God revealed to me, I really was able to work on this area of weakness which the devil has hold on me. My father has the same spirit and it was passed to me. I want to get delivered from it and that means either through an anointed ministry or self deliverance through my close walk with God’s Word and surrendering of my self to Him. It has been working. Choosing God rather than cooperating with my flesh and in cahoots with the spirit. Many many people both women and men have this evil spirit, it is a very common one. May God help us to yield to Him and not give the enemy a foothold to cause destruction.

  • @olympia007macklin

    @olympia007macklin

    4 жыл бұрын

    My spouse has this spirit & cant even see it...! Its almost as if he enjoys it...! Its truly been a thorn in my flesh 4 many years...! Glory 2 God Almighty for delivering u from that spirit..!💯

  • @bridgettestokes1912

    @bridgettestokes1912

    4 жыл бұрын

    I can relate. The struggle is real but we can do all things through and with Christ.

  • @hepsy364

    @hepsy364

    3 жыл бұрын

    Praise God if you are able to come out. But some people say this anger is caused by the other and so the other need to correct then the anger issues will be solved. So this goes on and on.

  • @omololaajayi1198
    @omololaajayi11986 жыл бұрын

    Thank you sir

  • @alexandrareber8387
    @alexandrareber83874 жыл бұрын

    There are three of us in our marriage; me, my husband and my husband's smartphone. Here in lockdown, I feel so lonely. I hadn't realised we had become virtual strangers.

  • @gmac8586
    @gmac85862 жыл бұрын

    Anger is an emotion that is useful if one is aware of it and shares their feelings honestly with God. He will help you as you ask yourself "why am I angry?" It could really be fear and a lack of faith? Is it pointing out pride? Say, my ego was bruised, so now I'm angry, or because I fear looking bad in front of someone else so because of that, you're mad. Most of the time, I root my sinful anger in those two sins; fear/lack of faith, or pride. Once I'm honest with God and myself, I'm able to get over the anger much more quickly. I love 2 stories of how God dealt with people who were angry in the bible. God seemed to want to teach through these people's anger and guide them. They are Cain right before he killed his brother Abel (Gen 4:3-8), and Jonah after God spared Ninevah (Jonah 4:1-11). God notices our feelings, isn't offended by them and is willing to help us deal with them. So don't be afraid to go to God when you're angry. The emotion isn't a sin, but can it can lead to sin but God is there to help us if we just share it with him.

  • @shaquillekiragu

    @shaquillekiragu

    Жыл бұрын

    This is so well said. God bless you 🙌🏿

  • @perfectpeace123
    @perfectpeace1232 жыл бұрын

    My in-laws are always meddling in our marriage. My husband’s family are narcissistic and give bad advice. My husband has anger issues. He disrespects me to others in my own home. He keeps secrets and he also is double minded. I don’t know who I am married to.

  • @shaquillekiragu

    @shaquillekiragu

    Жыл бұрын

    Will pray for you, God bless you.

  • @nmm5214
    @nmm52145 жыл бұрын

    Be ye angry and sin not. Unforgiveness is a sin, roots of bitterness (and anger can become a root of bitterness) is a sin. Cursing is a sin. However we all have a chance to repent and be saved unless we commit the unpardonable sin which is blasphemy against The Holy Spirit.

  • @annekeburns380
    @annekeburns3802 жыл бұрын

    Wow thank you for this wow

  • @Alicia_W413
    @Alicia_W4136 жыл бұрын

    Wow.

  • @atemjvlog
    @atemjvlog Жыл бұрын

    Please pray for me... My husband is an anger addict, it cause a lot of distress in our marriage, as time goes by, because he is also narcissist..my love for him is dying..it seems like continue staying with him makes me commit sin more often because I tend to get angry as well if he nags... Whenever I'm with him, the kids and I felt this tendency to be angry and hot-headed as well..., I'm not happy with my marriage anymore.. he doesn't like my biological family to even have a vacation here in our house, he hates my siblings,, I'm a Chistian married to a former Catholic..but I never saw in him the changed life being a born again..his old ways the first time I met him are still the same until now...is it better to separate to him atleast I'm not gonna tempted to commit sin of being angry as well, than to be with him and hating him every single day?

  • @cindylou1954
    @cindylou19544 жыл бұрын

    To me, active addiction destroys marriage. Anger is a side effect of this disease. Thank you Lord, for Pastor John.

  • @sierrairick1704

    @sierrairick1704

    4 жыл бұрын

    I second that. Active addiction is a marriage destroyer for sure.

  • @MrPatdeeee
    @MrPatdeeee2 жыл бұрын

    "The Great Marriage Killer" Thank you kind Sir for showing us this video... I believe the "Greatest Marriage Killer" is: 1. The wife disobeying...Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee". (Between the " ", are the ones she often disobeys) Sad, but true. and... 2. The Husband disobeying...Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Thus, 99% of wives are NEVER going to let their Husbands "rule over them". Not to mention that most husbands RARELY loves her; as he loves Jesus. And worse; his love for Jesus is usually; ONLY AFTER sports, movies (particularly "Porn"), hunting, fishing, racing, poker and AD-infinitum. Sad but true. End of Story and I rest me case... ...In any case kind Sir and Brethren, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!

  • @jackcross8616
    @jackcross86162 жыл бұрын

    Mark Driscoll: “how dare you!”

  • @gerryjames9720
    @gerryjames97206 жыл бұрын

    OK. So what is the prescriptive? What do you do when you realize that you’ve spent your entire life, even your Christian life, in a state of seething, bitter anger? When you look at your life and see the wasteland you’ve made? Is this the one you don’t come back from?

  • @T2WAdviser

    @T2WAdviser

    5 жыл бұрын

    Repent, make restitution where necessary and seek reconciliation where possible

  • @bisto_qcj

    @bisto_qcj

    4 жыл бұрын

    You could mail a form of that question to the Ask Pastor John for a straight answer.

  • @justonetime6179

    @justonetime6179

    3 жыл бұрын

    It’s not your entire life if you’re still alive. After you repent, you stop allowing things to get you angry or bitter. Trust that God knows what he’s doing in your life.

  • @johnbreitmeier3268

    @johnbreitmeier3268

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bisto_qcj Yes but you would not get a straight answer as he did not answer this question.

  • @johnbreitmeier3268

    @johnbreitmeier3268

    3 жыл бұрын

    Gerry, You got some pretty good advice in the comments above, but the main thing is change. Be angry about the important things that harm others, but don't seethe on it. Take righteous action and get back to life. John Wayne's Big Jake is a good example. kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZaOk0aWQodWrgKw.html&ab_channel=bigdavis161 He gets angry angry about injustice. He takes appropriate and timely action and then he rides on. He doesn't brood about it. Maureen O'hara's character broods and clutches anger to her chest for decades and it does ruin her life. Be the Duke and not Big Red. If you are still breathing, it is not too late. You can wake up in a new world every day if you let it happen. If things and people persist in making you angry, find someplace else to be. Don't dwell in the anger. Like Big Jake McCandles, walk away from a fortune if it brings you peace. You are nt dead yet, not hardly.

  • @terry-fn9dj
    @terry-fn9dj2 ай бұрын

    My ex's adultery destroyed mine

  • @cedricatmoore
    @cedricatmoore Жыл бұрын

    AMEN

  • @wiggelpuppy5474
    @wiggelpuppy54743 жыл бұрын

    Ok, so my anger has waged destruction throughout my life. Relationships gone, what can I do now?

  • @ELLOSEE

    @ELLOSEE

    2 жыл бұрын

    Seek refuge in God . Start by repenting your sins and tell God you caint do it alone and ask for control. Read your bible every day and moment you can. Find a local church where you can connect with a elder and receive guidance. God bless🙏🏾‼️

  • @yahweh247
    @yahweh2473 жыл бұрын

    The #1 marriage killer is being unloving which leads to every other marriage killing sin

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    2 жыл бұрын

    @ A.J. Williams There is no greater marriage killer than feminism and the post modern woman's horrendous feelings of entitlement and proud rebellion. No greater marriage killer ever but Piper the feminist in disguise won't say it of course...

  • @milastark1975
    @milastark1975 Жыл бұрын

    Trust

  • @johnbreitmeier3268
    @johnbreitmeier32683 жыл бұрын

    Once again John Piper brilliantly manages NOT to answer the question asked. If you want to see what righteous anger really looks like watch the opening scene to the old John Wayne movie Big Jake. kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZaOk0aWQodWrgKw.html&ab_channel=bigdavis161 Blessed are the sheepdogs, for without them all the many wolves in this world would eat all the sheep instead of just some. I wouldn't care to live in a world without sheepdogs and rightous anger until all the wolves were truly gone. If Piper was not such a privileged and pampered man neither would he. And Anger is NOT the great marriage killer. Feminism is today. Anger is just a symptom.

  • @hkirkrainer
    @hkirkrainer2 жыл бұрын

    Distrust?

  • @kevinowenburress2435
    @kevinowenburress24355 жыл бұрын

    I think anger should break evil and so should peace. Especially in places like California you shouldn't be angry with guns, as a christian, but should have peace against them in gun ownership. I think anger should go with government support, and not religious support, when it comes to guns in those places. Anger? Well it doesn't say that in Corinthians, and I think that tells us you should be angry if something like a homosexual hits on you is what just happened. I think that is a blessing to someone who is trying to curse you. Likewise you should be angry if someone is trying to teach your child to be a homosexual or do drugs and take on behaviors that are harmful. And I say this because they don't listen to you telling them peacefully not to do that and that it violates your faith.

  • @VardyMoss

    @VardyMoss

    4 жыл бұрын

    And that's why it's important for parents to raise up their kids, the minute you let the world do the teach them evil and sinful ways. Or that it is normal to keep sinning

  • @Serah888
    @Serah8885 жыл бұрын

    Football?just kidding

  • @benitojohngenitojr.5608
    @benitojohngenitojr.56084 жыл бұрын

    How can be Your Mind Be Pure in Spirits if you are interested in intertaining the Negative Spirits of the World.Better to Talk About the Eternal Good Spirits of the LORD GODFATHER in Christ Because It is Eternal.There are Countless Positive Good Spirits of the LORD GODFATHER in Christ Written in the BIBLE and in All Books of Righteous Great Christians Around the World to Study and Be in Our Eternal Souls in Christ, and You can not Study It All even the Rest of Your Life and You can not Know It All even You are Already Living Everlastingly.

  • @larry1824
    @larry18249 ай бұрын

    Credit ratings

  • @camwchristian
    @camwchristian3 жыл бұрын

    Curious... what are the top things that stir anger in your lives? Mine is hypocrisy, when my family accuses me of something I didn’t do, and the Dallas Cowboys haha Thank P.J.!

  • @davidsoto4394
    @davidsoto4394 Жыл бұрын

    Money problems.

  • @ChibindaChipawaStudios
    @ChibindaChipawaStudios8 ай бұрын

    Too many words... This should be simple. Be angry with evil, do not hate. That's it.

  • @maryclairechittwood1852
    @maryclairechittwood18524 жыл бұрын

    So who is biblically allowed to be angry at spousal infiedelity, sexual misconduct, and abuse?

  • @aileenprestan1823

    @aileenprestan1823

    3 жыл бұрын

    None, because at the end you have to forgive.

  • @tomkingg

    @tomkingg

    3 жыл бұрын

    The Lord will take care of it. Leave it in His hands Sometimes it's hard but God heals and restores. He will remove biterness and anger and fill you again with His joy. Don't worry. Vengeance belongs to God.

  • @yettiluch1

    @yettiluch1

    Жыл бұрын

    All i can say us i had a fiancee that cheated on me. Got pregnant by another guy. That was 10 years ago. I still can't let this anger go. Don't be like me. It bleeds all over everything else.

  • @MichelleNagir

    @MichelleNagir

    Жыл бұрын

    @@yettiluch1 I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you find a way to heal.

  • @yettiluch1

    @yettiluch1

    Жыл бұрын

    @@MichelleNagir i appreciate that.

  • @henrikibsen6258
    @henrikibsen62583 жыл бұрын

    Before I start watching: is it birkenstocks?

  • @johnbreitmeier3268

    @johnbreitmeier3268

    3 жыл бұрын

    Close

  • @Monado6
    @Monado64 жыл бұрын

    Being unequally yoked having a wife that is a potential con artist and having both parties extremely immature and idealistic and being told a man must be subjugated to his wife and her parents and take on all the sins to avoid conflict. A boiling kettle of resentment manipulation and abuse

  • @olympia007macklin

    @olympia007macklin

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes...when will God intervene..!🤔

  • @ASmith-jn7kf

    @ASmith-jn7kf

    4 жыл бұрын

    You married someone who was unequally yoked so....

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@olympia007macklin Starnge that God does not intervene , right ? Maybe God is sick with those emasculated husbands unable to rule and have their sexual ways in their own marriage. You know what the Bible says , That when someone disobeys the Lord , even their prayer is an abomination . Those wimps today can pray and pray all day long. If they let their wives rule , in order to avoid "conflict" , . They choose compromise over authority. God does not hear their prayer. The Lord gives a man a wife for sex. If he is too afraid to have his sexual way , what can God do for him ? You think that biblical men were afraid of their sex drive ? How can we live in such an emasculated era ? What have we done to be under the same yoke as the world ? Shame on us . Shame on post modern "christianity" that hates the word of God .

  • @justonetime6179

    @justonetime6179

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@framboise595 troll. eww take your d/s fantasies to an appropriate website.

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@justonetime6179 Calling troll someone who speaks the truth is really petty you know. Domination/submission is no fantasy. It is God's right way. But today , men are just beta wimp with no backbone , turned into doormats by men supposed to be men of God. A real man of God has God's vision and language. But they just don't. A pastor , a priest or whoever claims to be a man of God cannot preach what they preach .

  • @framboise595
    @framboise5954 жыл бұрын

    The great marriage killer = the modern woman .

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@creativechristiancontent As opposed to the true woman of God who is submissive to her husband and a God-fearing woman. Woman is not equal in God's eyes . Woman is the glory of man . Man is the glory of God. You say both must obey God equally but a wife who is rebellious to her husband does not obey God at all. Piper and so many others on YT , in christian books , magazines do not speak the truth anymore. The husvand is the head of the wife . No equality but divine hierarchy which guarantees peace , joy and harmony in the household. Marriages are more and more conflictual because women do not submit anymore.

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@creativechristiancontent Equal as humans but not as male and female . This makes all the difference . Marriage is no partnership . It is hierarchy . Because men are not in control anymore , marriages do not last . The modern woman is the one who is put on an equal foot with man and ends up taking over because equality emasculates men to the core .

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@creativechristiancontent " We are all entitled to have equal rights " We are entitled to nothing . It is this arrogant mindset that have turn western women into bitches . God did not give women many rights and he is right . The rights we have in marriage are basic rights , they are the things that a husband owes his wife , ie food , shelter and sex .

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@creativechristiancontent My marriage is a loving hierarchy mirroring Christ head of the church and the church who submits to him in everything . The 50/50 relationship is a feminist lie. You said earlier that being a modern woman does not mean not being submissive but now you say "equally not dominated by a man" . A and the opposite of A . If you are not submissive , you will be in control . There is no middleground . You want bible scriptures ? Ok . Here we go "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. " Titus chap 2 v 4 Notice : obedient to their own husbands . No 50/50 mutual bla bla. All this is of the devil .

  • @framboise595

    @framboise595

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@creativechristiancontent How can you say that no man dominates you since the Bible instructs young women to be obedient to their own husbands ? I gave you the scriptures . My job is to teach women their duties . There is no such thing in the Bible as " the old days" because Christ is the same 2000 years ago and today. The word of God has not changed . It is Christianity that has been infected by modernism in order to please the devilish scourge called feminism. What do you do with Titus 2:4 ? With these perfect directives that are being wilfulled overlooked by Piper and co ? Women are not equal : A man ought not to cover his head since he is the image and glory of God , but the woman is the glory of man " 1 Co 11 and must have her head covered . No equality but hierarchy : man made first / woman made second because of and for man. Both equals as humans since no animal fitted for Adam. God had to create another human , equal in her humanity but unequal as a sex . Western christianity has been hijacked by free masonry . The notion of equality is rooted in masonry. Plenty of Christians today are corrupt by this notion . The equality in roles and functions is off Scriptures.