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Oh yes, the half-assed attempt they make when asked to do ANY domestic chore whatsoever. They intentionally only do it half-way, or…somehow otherwise intentionally screw it up, and then when they see you doing it over yourself later…they will point out how - “Nothing I ever do is ‘good enough’ for you! And that’s exactly why I don’t do this stuff!”. Manipulative to the core.

Trying to debate a narcissist is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how good a player you are he will strut around the board shitting all over it, knocking over the pieces and then declare that he has won.

This is uncanny since it describes my soon to be ex husband.

With him in a counseling session. The counselor looked at me and said, "You've never experienced marriage." Yes, it is a sham, never a true marriage when a narc is involved.

You have just described the last 45 years of my wasted life! Thank you for validation of my feelings of frustration, betrayal, and emotional abuse that has felt so lonely for many years.

Gaslighting being ignored combined with slowly but methodically trained not to have an opinion.

So much of what you said applies especially how self absorbed he is. It’s like being married to an eleven year old man child.

When the apologies aren’t actual apologies 😳

This describes my ex perfectly! It was never good enough, he was never happy, always with a long face and angry. I tried to cheer him up every day but it was never good. Then I got paralyzed on one side do to my pregnancy and still he didn’t want to help with the new born and the toddler. Then he said being paralyzed was not as bad as the cough he had and that I didn’t understand what healthproblems he was going through. I had to dump him. He was so toxic for the children and me. Now he’s spreading around all kind of lies and rumors about me because I finally found the courage to leave after 15 years. Although it is hard on my own with the 2 little kids, still a lot better then giving this childish, evil, selfish person anymore of my love! Also makes me happy that the children won’t have to deal with his immature emotional abuse on a daily basis.

This was my father. He wore my mother down methodically for 37 years until she neglected her health and died prematurely at 57 yrs old. He took a vacation during the last week of her cancer because he couldn't tolerate the stress. It was the only time I ever had with her alone, away from his controlling, manipulative ways. It was, ironically, the most honest time I've ever had with her. The day before she died she admitted to me her entire married life was a "sham" and a "waste." She was crying uncontrollably. She had never before been "disloyal" or "broke ranks" with my father until that last moment of truth. This was in 1996 before all this information about narcissism was so easily available. She was such a wonderful person who tried to triangulate between this impossible man and me and my sibling. She had no chance. How I wish she had divorced him early on.The mental health of the family could have recovered. Unfortunately, my brother and I are still dealing with the consequences of this covert narcissist today. However, he is now 82 and we are fully aware of the mental games he still plays.... only he now plays them with his 3rd wife and a couple of flying monkeys. All his relationships with family members are irreparability broken. He has no close friends. What a sad man, what a sad life.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head! That's what marriage to a covert narcissistic man is like. There's no validation, there's no real love. There is only being a servant and an admirer. There is no living peacefully, and in my experience, the wife has to do EVERYTHING around the house, as well as cater to his every whim.

I always felt that my husband didn’t value our marriage or me, he had no really deep feelings or emotions.

You just described my husband of 33 years so perfectly that I had to stop partway through and pull myself back together. Thank you for validating what I've been going through.

This is my ex-husband to a "T". I always said he LAZIED HIMSELF OUT OF A MARRIAGE. He did everything half-assed so I would take over those responsibilities too. I worked full time, was responsible for my son, a house, a dog and 2 cats while he was responsible for himself only. He was the most passive aggressive bastard on the planet. When my Father was dying he had no empathy for my pain. When I had knee surgery he had no empathy and sat on the couch watching TV and drinking beer while I tried to move laundry down 3 flights of stairs and back up again. I was crawling by the way. But from the outside everyone thought he was so nice. And I neglected to say he had a giant chip on his shoulder about everything. He was even jealous of his own son. You cannot love this type of person. You cannot respect this type of person. I smiled everyday and pretended I was happy for 20 years. Thankfully I was too busy to think about the pure misery. Oh and if that wasn't bad enough divorcing one of these bastards is worse than the 20 years of utter misery. But, then you escape and from that point on even prison would be heaven as long as you're not with him.

a therapist turned to me during a couples session and asked, "So what does he have to do to make you leave? Does he have to HIT you?" that was my wake up call!

This is exactly what I went through for 10+ years. The part about him walking away in mid-sentence or shaking his head and laughing when I'm trying to talk to him to about something serious... wow.

I feel like you were talking to me. This is my husband to a tee for the last 28 years. The tantrums, silent treatments, bullying. Thank you for making this video.... I am finally learning what a narcissist is...

He NEVER listened to what I said NEVER. Imagine all your "conversations" being ignored on your side - having to repeat yourself to try to get someone to listen to you - I'd literally beg him to listen to me and he would still refuse to hear me -For 11 years he'd do that. And you're right about the convenient "forgetting" - that was continual being done over and over again. I asked myself over and again WHY he married me ? It was a pure torture that I didn't deserve ... and only recently have started understanding his real self.

Holidays and birthdays were the worst. Constantly pulling out of planned fun activities or needing to leave early due to his anxiety which always disappeared when "his type of people" were around. Mine told someone for 12 years that I wasn't "up for visitors" implying I was mentally ill. Sore neck, gout, headaches, irritable bowels, constantly "coming down with something" then complaining and giving the silent treatment when I just started doing something by myself or with friends. Inviting me to Friday night dinner out so I wouldn't go for after work drinks and then cancelling when I got home. The games are endless and exhausting. They constantly use your good nature and empathy against you until you are a shell of a person who filters everything through them to try and cater to their ever increasing needs.