Dear Susan, You are the first person I have ever been able to relate to regarding the grieving of a divorced husband who passed away, who you desperately loved and was your soulmate. Mark and I were together for almost twenty-three years and it was in the last three years that it all came apart. My husband suffered from emotional and internal issues that drove him to suicidal attempts and drug addiction. Those last years I fought to save him, to save us, but you can't save someone who doesn't believe they deserve to be saved and fought not to let the walls to their pain come down. The continual nights of not knowing where he was and if he was alive tore me apart to the point I, myself, was facing a breakdown. After I did all that I could do, we broke up, and were divorced. Divorce is a death unlike any other and even more so when you never stopped loving him and he never stopped loving you. A few years later, Mark died from a rare form of leukemia at the age of fifty-one. Knowing he was dying, he asked a friend to come and tell me, I'm guessing with the hopes I would go see him as I didn't know he was in the hospital. His friend never came and I was not given the opportunity to say goodbye and say that I still loved him. After he passed, two photos were found in his wallet; one of me when I was eighteen in a hot pink bikini and the other, also of me, six months before we split up. The sad truth of it all, is there was no sweet and tender goodbye for us, and now after twelve years of his passing, there are moments when a tidal wave of grief comes crashing over me. Mark was a musician and from time to time when I come across and read the lyrics of a song he wrote for me, I still feel his love.

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

Oh dear Caren...indeed...our stories are very very close. Bill's depression and drug addiction took him from me...and by some miracle, Bill's sister found him registered at a nursing home...and the home was 10 minutes from me...and Bill was dying. I did get to spend those years with him...and I cried and cried...and I cherish every single word we said. The words Bill said to me are the words your husband would have said to you....YOU WERE the love of his life...and he proved that to you by the pictures he had in his wallet....God Bless you ...you are wonderful woman.....and one thing is for sure, our men loved us and we loved them. period.

@wildhorses6817

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@carencassidy2359

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet Thank you so much for your kind words beautiful Susan. I am so grateful for your bravery of baring your heart's deepest pain and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It gives me in return, strength and affirmation that my feelings are validated and that I don't stand alone with them. God Bless you and give Desi a kiss and a hug for me.

@carencassidy2359

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much Joan for your assuring and kind words. Knowing that God is by my side brings continual comfort. God bless you and may his love embrace you each and every day.

@tammi67able

Жыл бұрын

Im so sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I pray that God gives you comfort, peace and joy once again. God bless you

I lost my daughter when she was five. I lost my husband suddenly when he was sixty two. I know grief. Jesus brought me through.

@sabinekoch3448

Жыл бұрын

Yes, we are carried, although we don’t always know it…💐

@hummers7342

Жыл бұрын

God hold you in His hands Cynthia.

@tammi67able

Жыл бұрын

God bless u. Happy Jesus brought u through

@carencassidy2359

Жыл бұрын

Dear Cynthia, my heart goes out to you and I know, God's love will continue to carry you through.

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Or u single

When my brother died, my sister in law had their two young boys call my mom every day to chat with her. She didn’t want my mom to think she lost her daughter in law or grandkids when she lost her son. It was so thoughtful when she was going through her own grief and suffering.

@terri4353

Жыл бұрын

@Debbie I’m so sorry to hear about your brother as well. It’s been 10 years for me and it’s so difficult. A sibling is like no other in your life. The memories of growing up together are left to only you. I think I know at least in part how you must be feeling. I wish your sil would be more kind to your parents. Nothing in the world could be more difficult for them than losing a child.

@gloriasaliba3395

Жыл бұрын

What a wonderful woman - my sister in law did the opposite when my brother died

A nurse lost her daughter and told me it takes about two years for grieving to stop. As I was wondering, "When will this stop?" I had made a trip to the state where my husband and I spent most of our lives together. I drove the area and all of a sudden I had to pull off the road and sob and sob until I could sob no more. Tears are so healing. God Bless All of You who have lost a loved one. ❤

@patsypryor9850

Жыл бұрын

2 years??! My son has been gone 20 years and it might as well be yesterday. I still have what I call"grief attacks"., I cry so hard for very long time and can hardly breathe from the sadness. God and counseling all this time has helped me stay here for my husband. One day there will be no more tears.

@daisy7141

Жыл бұрын

@@patsypryor9850 I can imagine. In my case, it was two years. I only wanted to know, because I could not get out of the feeling that I was dying too. Sadly, one thing that helped me was looking back at how he treated me. All I will say is it was not always good. I was blessed by God when He made me realize that. I can't imagine losing a child. I am sorry for your loss and pray for your healing.

My husband passed away two months ago from cancer. My faith in God is what has helped me on my grief journey. I still hurt, I still miss him, but I see the bigger picture and I know this life is temporary and there is more beyond the here and now.

@deborah3912

Жыл бұрын

🙏🙏🙏

@deborah3912

Жыл бұрын

When we trust the LORD Jesus we are sure we will meet our loved ones in His presence.

@alifeblessed2218

Жыл бұрын

@@deborah3912 thank you Deborah! Beautiful words.

@SweetThing

Жыл бұрын

@@deborah3912 - Amen.

@carolinebrown8965

Жыл бұрын

My husband died four weeks ago unexpectedly and I am devastated.

Just heard a lady talk about "How can I live without the person I can't live without?" Our daughter went to heaven April 4th and my only sibling is in Hospice and almost gone, it's been a tough time for so many lately with Covid and shootings and so much going on around us. I have read several articles about grief lately, no size fits all. I cling to the Lord to keep me from losing my mind, I am not the same person I was before April 4th. I never will be.

@tdhawk167

Жыл бұрын

Totally understand. Sending you love

@hummers7342

Жыл бұрын

understand, sending prayers. i listened to that same lady. you are correct - it changes you forever.

@wanda4573

Жыл бұрын

Sending you prayers but go to a well recommended reki lady or man

@phyllisbooth3395

Жыл бұрын

Calling all the angels I know to embrace you.

@BedfordFalls7

Жыл бұрын

Bomeister, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and I understand your deep pain. Having your only sibling in Hospice and almost gone has you feeling alone already. I will pray for you and praying to the Lord really does keep us alive and stronger. I am not someone who preaches. I just know what it's like to feel lost and alone. Take your time in your grieving process and just know that you are not alone. The loss of a daughter is devastating. It is still so fresh what your experiencing. Find peace in whatever helps you. God Bless.

I miss my mother more than anyone else I have ever lost. I miss her every day. I hear her advice and comments all the time in my head still. Sometimes I talk to her out loud because I know she’s still around me. I am a little quietly sad too. It makes other people uncomfortable to talk about it so I keep it too myself. Mom has been gone 4 years now so people expect me to be over it. I’m not stuck in the past and I know we had a good relationship. I miss being able to call her and to share things with her. She was truly my best friend. She was far from perfect but she always tried her best and watched out for me. I feel vulnerable and alone without her. Life is harder without her.

@cherylpinter2134

Жыл бұрын

No such thing as getting over it as some people are telling you to do. You are simply just getting through it. I lost my mom 10 years ago and I think about her everyday and miss her so much. I have a cup that says home is where my mom is and I have always felt that way. God bless you and your sweet memories of your mom

@hippiegirl5167

Жыл бұрын

I know I will see my family in heaven . Jesus is in my heart and I will see him when I die

@maryrose7842

Жыл бұрын

My mother is gone 24 years and I still miss her and would love to be able to talk to her again you never forget them

@theteal123

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same, like a scared lost little girl going through life alone without her mother.

@OlderWomenRock

Жыл бұрын

This is beautiful 💕 I feel for you xxx

Tears are rolling as I realize that this depression I can’t seem to shake is because I haven’t finished grieving my mother. She passed in 2004 and I’m actually feeling the hurt of her being gone all over again after having repressed it for all these years! You have helped me have a breakthrough in my therapy! I am beyond thankful for this video!

@suzanne296

Жыл бұрын

This touched me. My parents died 2015 5 weeks apart. I feel for you as I too miss my parents more than I ever expected. I know I'm a good soul and you are too. Remember and always allow yourself to grieve your Mom.

@user-mv2tg8hc8c

Жыл бұрын

Grief will do that, it stays until it’s dealt with. Let yourself go through the process. Davis Kessler is a great counselor who focuses on grief and walking with you in that process. Be well:)

DIVORCE IS A DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

The evening my mother died, I opened up my devotional and it said “never miss an opportunity”. I have always remembered that life is short and that we are to focus on the present. Celebrate with the ones you love and if someone stops by to see you, let them in without worrying about your house being perfect! We can’t get back those special times to make a lasting memory.

I just returned from my son-in-law‘s memorial service today. His death was such a shock to everyone, it was his heart. His wife, my precious daughter, passed in 2014. We shouldn’t have to bury our children. Your video was of great comfort. He always whispered his love for Tracy every-time I saw him. Now we must grieve for him…life seems so unfair, only Jesus can heal a broken heart. Thank you for this…

@shoppingnana

Жыл бұрын

He must have loved your daughter very much. How sweet that he always told you that.

@shirleydrake1602

Жыл бұрын

I had the same situation! I lost my daughter when she was 44. Less then two years later we lost her husband. Both were sudden deaths of fairly young people. Funny thing, when my daughter died, I held it together just fine but when he died, I fell apart. It was almost like I couldn’t face it and grieve for her but when he passed, I suddenly was hit with overwhelming grief. I know it gets better but it’s not over quickly.

@hummers7342

Жыл бұрын

I'm so very sorry. Thank you Jesus for holding us up.

@tedkozak3054

Жыл бұрын

Jesus Christ is all we need in our lives. We don’t know He’s all we need until He is all we’ve got

Grief is endless with endless and ever changing stages. I lost my daughter, my only child, to cancer almost 5 years ago. For me, my only stage of grief these past years is reliving every moment of the eight months my daughter spent in the hospital. Snapshots of different days with her, different tests, procedures and conversations run through my mind in an endless loop. This beautiful 36 year old woman who felt so insignificant in her life was now very ill with Leukemia. Her father and I never thought the cancer would kill her.....but then it did. Her daughters, my grandchildren, were only 12 and 14 during her illness and passing. She rarely let them go to the hospital, she didn't want them to see her so sick. Now their stages of grief include trying to understand why they could rarely see her in the hospital. They didn't understand why their mom kept them away. They are now 16 and 18 and they still struggle with this. I guess until they are moms with children of their own, they will not understand that it wasn't because their mom didn't want to see them; she was trying to protect them from all those horrible tests and procedures that she had to endure on a daily basis. I went through all those things with her so that they did not have to see their mom suffer. I try to tell them how painful the memories of those days would have been for them and how much better it is to remember their mom the way she was with her laugh, her smile and her long blonde hair;; all of which disappeared during those long eight months and eight days of chemo and illness. Now, almost 5 years later all our lives have changed so dramatically by the death of this woman, my daughter, who felt so insignificant in life. My husband and I have watched the girl's dad fall to drugs and alcohol after his wife's (my daughter's) passing. We've watched the girls struggle and watched them be neglected by the one parent they had left. They've seen and experienced more than any young girl should have to witness. Eventually, my husband and I took in the girls so that they could have a normal life (whatever "normal" is). We've put on a brave face and hidden our own grief of losing a child so that our granddaughters don't have to see our stages of grief. I am always trying to find quiet places to hide so that I can cry where no one see me. You are so right when you say that the various stages of grief are different for everyone. And may I add that no one, no life, is insignificant. The death of my daughter, who felt that her life was nothing special and rather insignificant, changed the lives of so many in a very significant way.

@kimkeck6266

Жыл бұрын

Oh Dawn....that was so beautifully written. I am so very very VERY sorry to read all of this! Your granddaughters are so blessed to have you! I bet you anything your daughter's health and self-esteem is directly related to her husband! My ex is a malignant narcissist and he about killed me by living in his hell for 40 years! Many people do not know about Cluster B personality disorders however I bet the ex has one of them. 🌷🙏😔❤️‍🩹💪😘

@jacquelinehillson9589

Жыл бұрын

Dawn your one life’s gorgeous souls, good luck to you and yours , you deserve it❤️

@mariegrobbelaar3332

3 ай бұрын

❤

Susan, I cannot even believe that I just clicked on to your video this evening as I basically just got back from my younger sisters memorial service, only to find it is about grief of losing a loved one. My sister was born with turner syndrome which basically means that instead of having the XY chromosome, she only had the x which caused her to be underdeveloped in many ways. When she was in her twenties she was told she would be lucky if she lived into her 50s. Medicine has gotten more precise over the years but after many struggles and many issues, my sister passed at the age of 59. Though she struggled with many physical issues all her life, she never used that as an excuse and lived her very best life! I had the privilege of sharing about her at the memorial and shared just that. For me, remembering the amazing person she was and our close relationship is what will get me through. For many years in our adult lives we were very busy and did not talk on a regular basis but stayed informed through our mother. When our mom passed away 10 years ago she and I became extremely close again as we did when we were kids and spoke almost every single day for at least an hour and saw each other as often as we could. I believe holding on to our many conversations and special visits will help me go on. Since she passed a week ago, I spent many hours one afternoon with my cousin whom I have not seen in a very long time, both of us realizing that we should not squander the time we could be sharing with our loved ones. I'm still hurting and have not been able to watch your video, maybe tomorrow but I wanted to say thank you and I know I will be blessed when I view it

@gwenruggeri9151

Жыл бұрын

Cheryl my sincere condolences on the loss of your sister. My prayers are with you and your family. Love never dies.💖

@LiveFree123

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry, Cheryl. Praying grace and peace over you and your precious family.

@cherylpinter2134

Жыл бұрын

@@LiveFree123 thank you tracy, I very much appreciate the prayers for the family. My sister was a true believer in Christ and her adult children believe but find it hard to practice. Please pray that they continue to live their best life and draw nearer to the lord.

@cherylpinter2134

Жыл бұрын

@@gwenruggeri9151 thank you Gwen. prayers always needed and much appreciated. Amen, Love never dies!

@LiveFree123

Жыл бұрын

@@cherylpinter2134 yes, I will definitely be praying for them. Much love❤️

Wow! What timing..just this week my father was diagnosed with dementia, a few days later he got sick and fell at his home and after being rushed to the ER he was diagnosed with Covid. I get to be with him daily but he has no idea who I am. The first time I walked in his room and he asked who I was was really. I cried my eyes out. My mother passed away in 1996 and I still feel that pain every day. We were best friends. 14 years ago my husband passed from cancer. I was his caregiver for three years. It was difficult but I treasure those times now. It was really the last way I could show him my unconditional love. I will now do the same thing for my father. I haven’t always had a good relationship with my father and there were times he hurt me beyond forgiveness. Or so I thought….even though he doesn’t know me he smiles when he sees me and today when I told him I was leaving he told me not to be gone too long…today I truly and completely forgave him❤️

My husband had a stroke 5 1/2 years ago that has left him disabled. I grieve the man that I knew from pre-stroke days. The stroke has changed his personality, but has not changed his determination to strive to walk and talk again. As time passes I still have trouble accepting the changes that have also occurred in our marriage. My husband is of course still alive, but not many understand the grief that occurs from a brain injury. In spite of it all, we are grateful the stroke wasn’t worse. He still has his mind and memory. Peace❤️🙏

I lost all 3 of my very beloved cats within 40 days last fall. The first 2 we’re brother and sister. As hard as it was, it seemed right for them to go together. The last One was a rescue that I loved so dearly. The truth is, she rescued me. I haven’t gotten over this loss. I’m different. Grief is a very slippery slope. And it’s more slippery from the tears. My therapist said that grief is love with nowhere to go. I almost died after surgery earlier this year. I wasn’t even afraid because I thought it might mean I could be with my babies again.

@monikakot7324

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@jjkatz

Жыл бұрын

Our fur babies are precious

@rosep9866

Жыл бұрын

It breaks my heart now writing this.. my toddler cat got hit by a car... My other toddler cat is grieving as bad as me.. please pray for me,, I'm so hurt beyond words.. I had no help from police, animal control no one. I had to pick him up & put him in my trunk because I didn't want him run over too much..I put him in a box with his blanket & buried him. I feel so sick I should of toke him to the vet but I wasn't thinking clear.. he was dead but still he may have had a heart beat.. we had only one Christmas,, one summer then Oct 3 died so did I ,💜😢😥🙏💜

@jjkatz

Жыл бұрын

@@rosep9866 I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my fur baby in August and I know how much it hurts 💔😢🌈

@rosep9866

Жыл бұрын

@@jjkatz thank you, & my prayers to you too.

Hi susan. I'm not really sure how I've handled grief. On August 3rd in just a few days my son will be gone for 3 years. It was such a shock losing him. He was 44. Then last year my mom died in February 24th and was buried on the 28th. I was sad that I lost my mother but not totally heartbroken. I'll explain in a minute. And then in may I lost my daddy. That really hurt. But I did not fall apart as I always expected that I would. You see when I lost my son 3 years ago part of me died with him. I know that may sound silly but I honestly believe that something inside of me died with him. I guess I'm just kind of numb and taking one day at a time. There's not a day goes by that I don't think of my son or my dad or my mom. So it's really hard to say how I handle it. I just don't think I've ever gotten over the numbness of it. My sweet daughter (who has Down Syndrome - 43) lives with me and keeps me going. I really enjoy your videos. And I just love Desi's little bow ties.

@gwenruggeri9151

Жыл бұрын

Colleen my heart goes out to you and I understand. My son passed away from a massive heart attack two years ago. He had just turned 52. There are no words..........A part of me died too and life has somehow lost its meaning. My faith in God has kept me going for I know that this is a time when He has carried me. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Remember always that love never dies. May God bless you with His peace and love and may you feel his arms as He carries you too.

@debrafox5576

Жыл бұрын

Yes, a part of me died when my Marm died. I used to smile all the time, I’ve lost that perpetual smile, life is dimmer to me. So I just pour my life into caregiving and know that it won’t be too many more years til I can be with her and Daddy and other loved ones.

@lynnelewis6362

Жыл бұрын

You have been through a lot. I lost my 39 year old daughter two years ago. Like you I think of her everyday. I am still grieving heavily. I work with preschoolers and that is what keeps me functioning. Nights are hard though.

@wildhorses6817

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@wildhorses6817

Жыл бұрын

@@lynnelewis6362 💜

I miss my parents and my brother and best friend. Now my husband is in the last stage of both heart and kidney failure. Sometimes I think I can’t go on but I do. My faith and my friends keep me going.Thank you for sharing this video.❤️

@Maryplanting9880

Жыл бұрын

I will be praying for you cat mama. I have had loss too and I know through God’s help you can make it❤️

@catmama54

Жыл бұрын

@@Maryplanting9880 Thank you so very much. I’m sorry you’ve suffered loss too.❤️🙏

@tdhawk167

Жыл бұрын

Sending you love

@catmama54

Жыл бұрын

@@tdhawk167 Thank you very much❤️🙏

@StephiesBeadsandBaubles

Жыл бұрын

Sending thoughts and prayers for you and your husband .

there is a gravity to older age. a lot of people in your life die, a lot move on. there is a base sadness that is just there. but you are there, still alive, so make the most of it you can, even if it’s very little.

It’s so very important that you were there for your mom and Billy. Your presence made their lives more enjoyable and complete. Be at peace knowing you were singularly responsible for making their lives more full.

Ten years ago I unexpectedly lost my husband of 34 years. I was in shock. It took me four years before I even began to feel like I might live through it. I felt for years like I carried a ball of grief around in my core. Eventually, that left. I feel like I go back and forth through the “quiet sadness” and the finding “peace and purpose”. Memories can make me smile and in another moment bring me to tears. I don’t feel we ever get over it, but I find that we live through it. I’m not the same person inside but I’ve found ways to move forward and find happiness n the woman I am now. What primarily has helped me is my faith in Jehovah God and that his promises of a resurrection where I will see my husband again on a paradise earth in the future. (Rev 21:3-5; Acts 24:15).

@vivianstidham9596

Жыл бұрын

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Only God your Creator understands what you have gone through. He is there and will comfort you. I am so glad that you have turned to him. Grief is different with everybody. Oh, there are stages that you go through but there is not a time limit in how long it takes. Take this time to grow closer to our Lord and he will continue to comfort you when your memories may cause you to be sad again. It is ok to cry. The Bible said, Jesus wept and if Jesus wept, then we should never feel bad. God bless. From a grandma in Texas.

@jenjem5810

Жыл бұрын

A Shaw My Mom's favorite theme song came to us when she was quite ill. It got her back on track, saved her life. "Just Around The Corner" Is a beautiful depiction of Family Reunion in Paradise. It made me aware of support at my fingertips. They are not gone forever. They are On Pause. Mommy is resting for almost two years. Getting through these past two years...doing my utmost to bring him joy. We sing. We sing Kingdom Melodies. Our past memories are our sacred place to find refuge. God gave us a memory to fill our hearts. We will get it back in the future.

@ellasladek3124

Жыл бұрын

Hello my sister , Iam so sorry you had to experience this grief

@deborahpontius2821

Жыл бұрын

I will keep you in my prayers my sweet sister. Draw close to Jehovah and stay active when you can. The friends will help as well.

Dear Little Poet, you are so beautiful, inside and out; a dear, deep soul. You expressed it so well - we don't get over a loss, only work on getting through it. I'm so glad I found your channel. There's so much that's relatable in your beautiful videos.

You have every right to mourn the way you want to. Don’t worry what others think about you. You are the most real person I’ve ever seen. You’ve helped so many and we love you to pieces

I lost my 38 year old son to a horrible preventable suicide last Thanksgiving 2021. I’m still seething at how everything happened. Through law enforcement and Swedish Hospital. Thanksgiving you know, no one cares but to get home to their own families. Ignore a pleading mother. If those people ever have to face the same situation-what goes around comes around. So be it

I totally get your loss. I lost my ex husband last November. Everything you described is so true. He too had mental illness. Just wanted you to know that I heard your message, and I get where you are coming from… thank you

My Husband Steve took his life November 20 2010 from mental illness. Drinking 🍸 Alcohol 🍸 & Drug's. I was mad sad & glad all at once. I Loved ❤️ the person but not his behavior. Still working through Grief.

Thank you Susan, I unexpectedly lost my beloved Jack in the fall of 2019 . I was 62 and he was only 66. We’d been married 45 years. We owned two large crop insurance agencies in Indiana and thought we had many years ahead to enjoy all we’d worked for. You and your channel helped me cope with my loss and grief . You inspired me to get back in the game of life, start back with my self-care routines ,(I ordered pumpkin seed oil from Amazon) 😊 and I decided to put on some of my pretty clothes and jewelry. You’re right, those we love deeply are a part of us. We must live the best lives we can to honor them. That’s what they would want for us ❤️

Susan, I religiously watch your videos, always finding something in them to enrich my life. Following the loss of my partner in January which I have described in a previous post, I have put off watching this particular video on grief and loss. When I eventually watched it last night, I gasped, because each and every aspect you are discussing here, mirrors my own experience to a T. Like so many others, depression and anxiety have been my companions for as long as I can remember. I struggle daily, beating myself up for being ungrateful and self-centered in my grief. So from the bottom of my heart, I just want to thank you for your kindness and wisdom. May your channel go from strength to strength.

Such perfect timing. My mom passed last Monday, July 25th, early, EARLY in the morning. I razzed her on my 1-hour drive to the assisted living facility after "the" call. It was the dead of night and she hated for me driving in the dark! What a joke! Was she testing me to see how much I loved her??? LOL I HAD to see her before she was taken away, even though she was cold to the touch. I went through the same experience with my dad 4 years earlier. At least he gave me the grace of driving in the late afternoon with the sun still shining in mid-August. I have to find humor in all this! Mom lived a wonderful life of 97 years. Not so happy after Dad passed though. The last 2 weeks were difficult as she withered away, but she was still coherent. Thank goodness for Hospice! Did I do enough for her? I still ask that question. I truly hope so. I've lost my younger brother, who was like a soulmate (not in a creepy way!), my youngest daughter, my husband, my dad and now my mom. I'm nearly 72 and at this stage of life - losing people - kind of sucks!

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

Oh my sweet friend and confidant, I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your Mom. But may I say even though it was " expected" it's still brand new to your little girl's heart that still exists in some part of you...I reamamber the night my Momther passed and I thought to myself, I am an orphan now...I was 55....hardly a child, but I felt like one suddenly. My love to you...

@StephanieJoRountree

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet I've heard that before - about feeling like an orphan. Thank you for your kind words.

First...I'm horrified to think that anyone would judge your love for Bill or your grief! You should never have to justify love or your feelings. As always, you share your experience with grace and wisdom and beauty and comfort. Loss and grief...what a hard road we all must travel at some point. I lost my sister, my mom and my nephew all VERY suddenly, one right after another. My sister was living with me at the time, and she died in her sleep after an unwitnessed seizure which blocked her airway. She was 43. 18 months later my mom had just done her hair and makeup,and was dressed for a party when she had a cardiac arrest at age 64. I did CPR until the ambulance arrived but they couldn't save her. It was an aneurism. 10 years later my nephew (my sister's beautiful 25 year old son) died of an accidental over dose. All loss is difficult...but sudden, unexpected death is literally like being hit by a train. There is no opportunity to say goodbye. I know the wail/shriek you speak of. I was doubled over like being punched in the gut with literal physical pain. I remember my boyfriend coming over when my mom died and he held me and literally held a wine glass and fed me amorone wine as if it was medicine until I fell asleep. The shock lasted months...those early months are like a hazy memory. Grief changes the DNA in every cell in your body. I still miss them every single day, and I cherish my memories. I know that love never dies and I am extra grateful for each day and for all my loved ones I am still blessed to have in my life. As I listened to your video, I watched the sunset over the lake thinking how much my sister and my Angel Mama loved the lake and how much my nephew loved fishing and I felt peace. Love to you and Desi.

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

oh dear, this was so emotional...I am so sorry for your loss..the words you used made me feel I was there...God Bless you for being so strong....I would love to hear your stages of grief someday....

@TamarasTimelessBeauty

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet 🦋❤️🦋

The quiet sadness I feel is the loss of “what might have been”. My mother was narcissistic and I was very often her target. She passed away 8 years ago and, while I don’t miss her at all, I long for a loving mother daughter relationship. But I know that will never happen.

Dear Susan,I just clicked on your site,because I liked your lovely smile,I didn’t realise what that smile hides!My husband died 4 2/5 years ago,and though I have some good days,it is still very hard.We where married for 45 years,and he was a wonderfull man,friend and everything else.Don’t feel bad darling,it was so wonderfull to know that others have similar experiences!What is helping me,is my believer in God,and knowing I will see him again as the Bible says so! God bless you darling.Aurora from south Australia

My daughter is moving with her little girls far away. I wake up crying almost every day.

@karent3004

Жыл бұрын

Jackie, I'm sorry your losing them to distance, and I'm so envious that you have grandchildren, because I don't think my precious son will find the right girl for him soon enough for me to have grandchildren. But honey, you will be in touch and they'll miss you so much you might just find yourself moving too!!!! I hope so.....🤗

@cindy_lou_loves_to_stitch

Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry, Jackie. It is not easy when kids move far away, let alone a grandchild! Maybe some day you can move closer to them. Hugggg

@LiveFree123

Жыл бұрын

I can totally relate. Hugs to you, Jackie.❤️😢

@jackieo8693

Жыл бұрын

Thank you everyone for the kind words

@camirichardson7485

Жыл бұрын

Dear Jackie, I've been through this and know your heartache. My knees buckled in the front yard as my daughter drove away. Just know, they won't forget you! After ten years of traveling to visit my grandsons and them coming home for holidays, texting, facetime, letters, and gift boxes, crying for days after their visits, - they have now moved back near me. Hold on to hope dear heart, and look forward to their next visit back home. And, when they do, you'll make wonderful memories for them to keep forever in their hearts. (My daughter always got homesick, perhaps that's why she finally moved back home). ❤ Last week, my 10 year old grandson told me he always loved being here in this house with me. He never wanted to leave. You can still spoil your grandbabies, and stay in their lives. Let those tears fall, but keep your chin up.

Susan, I lost my husband of 15 years, he had cardiac arrest after our dinner. I tried to revive him with CPR it didn't help. His greatest fear was being alone. He was fire fighter for 25 years and he PTSD and he went those episodes he got emotionally and sometimes physically abusive but I couldn't leave him because of his fears. We lived with mother since 2006 for me to take care of her. I didn't go through the denial stage because I was busy taking care of my mother. Then she died two years late in her sleep. It took me several years until quit hearing her call me during the day and night. I totally agree with you about your stages.

@charlesmorg5677

Жыл бұрын

Just a reminder that you are beautiful and will love to be your friend.

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I like u I m alone 👧😍💗🌷

Dearest Susan, I whole heartedly can resonate with all of it! Not with my marriage or divorce, but after awhile I started dating this man I was so in love with. He was my love. He passed just over 3 1/2 yrs ago. I cannot stop thinking of him. We were engaged to be married only that wasn't meant to be. I know he woukd want me to be happy. I just can't take that next step. It's not something we get over, it's something we get through. I lost my mom at 15 & my dad at 20. That also was hard. But even worse for me is grieving the loss of a daughter that is still living. After the divorce she slowly stopped talking to me. Then moved several states away with her hsb & son. My only grandchild. Seven years have gone by. I've been shunned. What keeps me going? What keeps me hopeful? My faith for one. Never giving up on love. Life isn't easy, but I believe everything happens for a reason. It may not be revealed to us right away but over time. Love & prayers. ❤️🙏

@marcietaylor1590

Жыл бұрын

Susan, thank you for sharing. I think you and Bill's love story is beautiful. I am so glad you were able to be with him the last two years of his life. You were married a long time and that kind of love is strong. I think grieving for our loved ones is the hardest thing we have to do in this world. God be with you. You are loved!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

@kimkeck6266

Жыл бұрын

Dear Sandi, Is by chance your e -husband a narcissist?? Mine was and our adopted daughter from China has stopped speaking to me....we were always a twosome. I am convinced that my ex smeared my name....they ALL do ESPECIALLY when they are cheating during the marriage. I am just wondering about your situation! There is a saying that "There is nothing worse than mourning the death of someone still alive." Has she given you any reason as to why she hS chosen to go "no contact"...that is what is being taught/said now. If someone upsets you then they are toxic and go "no contact." To me and I have said this to my daughter that is it unequivocally immature, selfish, cowardly and dead wrong to just cut someone out WITHOUT and explanation. My daughter will be 24 soon SO I am hoping and praying that her frontal lobe has not been fully formed yet and that she will come back to me. She knows who her so called "father" really is...a malignant narcissist a d Pyschopath! 🌷🙏😔❤️‍🩹💪

@kimkeck6266

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for my typos!

@sandischorling1055

Жыл бұрын

@@kimkeck6266 Yes Kim, he's a narcissist. I waited so long to get divorced because of the kid's. My son fully understands. My daughter I guess didn't & I told her the truth why. She's older too. I have written her so many letters, phn calls, & texts. Never a reply. I had to even search for her new adr. I have a 14 yr old grandson that I used to be so very close with. He's my only one. I get through it, but not over it. I think it's just that I filed for a divorce. Don't know of any other reason. She was such a sweet loving child growing up. Never in a million years did I ever think this would happen. I pray she comes back to me as well. Thanks for touching base. I'll say some prayers for you & your daughter.

Brene Brown describes the first stages of grief as anguish. I think that is the perfect word to describe the ....fall to the ground in agony.... emotion we experience when our loved one passes. I've been there.

Yes, it's all relatable. I think I will always have that "quiet sadness". For me, it's ok though. Like you said..... not moving on but moving through it. Faith is very important to me, I have five fantastic children and a beautiful granddaughter. Thank you for sharing, blessings to you. 🥰❤️💕🥰❤️💕🥰

I lost a son many years ago. He was 16 nine months and 19 days. There is a whole in my heart that never goes away.

Having lost my Mother, Father, Husband two sisters, my bother and a nephew in five years get over it? No i don't think you ever get over it. You do go on in a new fashion and it becomes the new fabric of who you are.But for me it still feels like some days i am looking over my shoulder for that much loved missing person. I am happy, i look forward to new things, I love, just completely different then before. The last insult was saying good bye to my much loved dog. They all left me a little piece of courage in their own ways.

Thank you for your honesty and candor. I've lost over 20 people since 2018. Some family, some good friends, some associates. Your videos give me such a boost. A reality check that we are not alone in this season of life. I'm calling it video therapy. Out of such deep pain and primal grief comes great strength, compassion, and purpose. I know the movie doesn't run forever. Sometimes, I don't want it to stop because I'm afraid I will forget. May we both find men worthy of our souls again. I just love little Desi. Hugs to you both.

I had anger too especially for my brother who fell from a cliff that we grew up as children. Wondered how could that happen but it did. Was only 15 feet but no foul play and definitely not a suicide. But my mom and dad were so broken then just a few years later they were gone. Plus I was mad that my mom had quit smoking for 21 years but still got lung cancer. Back when she started there was not a lot known about the effects of smoking. But I miss them all so much.

@tdhawk167

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. Sending you love

@chilloften

Жыл бұрын

I understand that emotion. Is gut wrenching an emotion?

@charlesmorg5677

Жыл бұрын

Sorry about your mom and brother . Will love to be your friend. How about that ?

@arsanima777

Жыл бұрын

(Explanation about lung cancer, despite not smoking; it can be:) Like e.g. repressed anger is physically reflected in the state of the liver, so a lot of unreleased sadness is deposited and reflected in the state of the lungs (and consequently the state of the breath and the heart..). Each emotion rules a specific area of the physical body. That is why it is very important for health to be able to free ourselves from long-term, excessive emotions.

@brendabrooks9699

Жыл бұрын

@@arsanima777 Definitely believe that. I feel physically unwell when I have a lot of anger.

Auntie Susan god bless your heart it’s very sad to loss one of relatives or intimate friends but we must be patient and accept will of god as it’s all of us will die no body knows his future or death date life is too short we must enjoy and make people around us happy

My husband Alan passed away 2 years ago in front of me in our garden. We had completed on a new home two weeks earlier and it is next door to the house we bought when we got married. I am totally lost,I miss him throughout my day and night. He was a police officer and had a high stress job and 18 years ago he collapsed and suffered a brain injury,heart and spinal problems. I picked him up from the hospital but he wasn’t my boy anymore.I was a palliative care nurse of course gave up my job to care for him and now all I have is a hole with nothing in it. I no longer belong to anyone but him forever. Love stays forever in you but the physical loss is always there. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen.I live in the uk 👼👼✨✨

Susan this was beautiful! I could never have gotten thru this without u by my side ! Everyone's grief is so different and no matter what the issues were with our loved ones we loved them and love is grief ! Without tears there is no love ! No matter their issues we saw beyond that and their love to us was enough to sustain us for a lifetime ! No one should judge love! Love is an individual feeling that fulfills our every emotion ! Some don't understand that but we do! My Jeff was more to me than his mental heath issues! Others saw him so different and did not understand him! Thank you for doing this video with me and giving me the strength to help others ! I love you lots Barb ❤️

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

I am still not ok after watching your video! It really touched my heart! Your words mean so much to me....Thank you so much for all you did this week...a beautiful message...oh your heart is so big! I think Jeff would have loved his tribute xxoo

@takecontrolbeauty6402

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet ❤️❤️Love you Susan God brought us together to help others ❤️

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

@@takecontrolbeauty6402 how about a little Italian right now?! è stato un grande onore farlo con te

@livingdoll3445

Жыл бұрын

Hi Susie from Annie this was beautiful and so emotional to watch had me crying all thru it and afterwards too. It is so touching and don't take notice of what others say about things like they do re living in past as that is ok to live in past it is like a therapy takes years maybe all your life but that is ok. I lost my mum when I was 16yrs old in 1975, she is still on my mind all the times these days you never forget, and yes you do feel guilty for things you did not do for or with them like you say you were too busy to be with bill and he said it was like living with a ghost that was so sad it would have pushed him to the edge especially being so lonely without you home much etc it would have made his mental issues worse. But at least you were there for him in the later times of life, when no one else was. That would have meant the world to him. He loved you so much more than you knew back then and you are still finding out just how much he loved you. It will take the rest of your life searching for peace because there isn't any and that is true. I have dreams and visions of my mum all these years over 45yrs and still going on. I also have this friend of 42 yrs mentioned him few times to you he is in nursing home be his second year and now with covid place is in lockdown so much gosh it is upsetting can't get in to see him and take in all his treats I leave them at desk not sure they give it to him as when I phone there asking to talk to him he often does not recall getting all those fav treats??? They claim to have given them and those love notes I write to him. My friend who shared house with me is fully vacinated as I am not due to health sensitivities he goes in some times and takes treats in and used to bring Ken back here for lunches but now Ken is afraid to come out of his room there and it makes it hard. I so often got in there before and took him on outings to shops etc and walks and I always have cut his hair over 42yrs he won't let anyone touch his hair and nails but me and I have not been able to cut his hair and nails since before xmas he looks like a cave man neglected and it upsets me I cry every day for he has been my best friend since I was 19yrs old he helped me raise my daughter in some ways.

@takecontrolbeauty6402

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet grazie non ce l'avrei fatta senza di te ti amo immensamente. ❤️

I lived in denial at first then cherish all the memories and realized how lucky I was to have them exclusively for me to ♥️ life is a treasure the most precious gift! I will never forget them forever!

Oh my goodness between 2005-2010 I lost my brother from a fall that took his life, my mom from lung cancer then my dad from congested heart failure. I deal with the grief every single day especially for my mom cause I talked to her everyday. I love and miss them all. My brother was only 45 my mom 69 my dad 77. It’s hard but could not imagine losing one of my children or grandchildren.

@wanda4573

Жыл бұрын

Dont stay in grief. Not healthy. Seek counseling and a reki doctor. They dont want you to sit in sadness.

I lost my brother, my dad and my recently. I lost mom at young age and hurted me the most. I had remorse for t being so far away not be able to go to the funeral. I visit her grave every time I visit my country. I have her close to my heart and have wonderful memories or here courage as a kind caring mother of 9 children 4 in heaven 5 on earth. I hear her when I need advise I know what she would say and I live my life to please her. That is how I found happiness!

I lost my sweet Mama in 2014 and my hero Daddy in 2015. They were married 70 years. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them,their hugs,kisses and words. Just to hear their voices. I have never fully let myself grieve. I just continue to go on. I live with the guilt of not being there when they passed. I lived in a different state. My sister lived 5 minutes from them but lead a busy social life and she was retired. My Daddy moved him and Mama back to be near her thinking she would take care of them. She didn’t and they ended up in a home. I still worked full time and am the nurturer of the family. I should’ve been there and I wasn’t. I have so many precious memories with them and that’s what keeps me going. Thank you for your heartfelt video. Love to you and Desi!🤗🦋🌹

Another stage of grief for me, was the pain and regret for all the things that were left unsaid. The “I hope he knew….. “ . The grief for what could have been and all that was left unresolved. My ex was killed in a motorcycle accident just 1 week before I was going to see him again after a year and a half. I Had moved to another state after we broke up. I was so excited to see him again and had so much I wanted to say. We loved each other so much, yet we could never seem to make it work. Then I received the phone call that broke my heart. So yes, I completely understand your grief for Billy. I’ve been so shattered that I haven’t had a single date, been held or kissed by anyone but him since 2019.

The sound you made when made when your mother passed away is called the primal scream 💔 my mother is currently very very sick. Yet I may have to prepare for her passing soon, if she doesn't heal. I just hope she goes with my grandmother 🌻😑 this is all I can hope for.

I’m so glad that I have come across your videos especially this one tonight, I take my IPad to bed with me and there you were. I lost my husband it will be 4years in Dec. We were married for 18 years in 2000. He was my second husband and I was so very happy , he had Dementia 5 years before he died and he had become verbally abusive . He was only 78 when he died. I still cry for him from time to time and sometimes I feel guilty that I didn’t have more patience with him. I think of him daily and the wonderful times we had together. I feel very lonely at times even though I have many good friends.

I still live in quiet sadness. It’s been six years since my husband died and though I recreated my life, I can’t help but be changed. I am single, living in an apartment in a new state. I try to date once in a while, I have wonderful friends and family, but I have not shaken the disappointment in a dream lost. I’m looking forward to getting back my carefree optimism again again.

Hi Susan, I lost my husband last November unexpectedly and I have cried every one of those days, but my grief is very similar to your. I’ve never recovered. Thank You for your video they have been a company to me in this difficult time 💛

@charlesmorg5677

Жыл бұрын

I know how it feels to lose the ones you love . Lost my wife 13 months ago, just seeking friendship, and would love to be your friend. How about that?

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I like u I m alone 👧💑👫👪👪💍💍😍😍❤🌷🌷

You nailed it. Bullseye. People act exactly as you stated. I lost my husband in February of 2020 Every time I see couples in the grocery store , picking up things for cookouts and special occasions, Christmas, Easter etc, I feel like I am going to go through the floor. Lonely is terrible. You just have to keep a stiff upper lip and make things work. There is no going back. Thank you. Hugs for Desi. 💝🌹

My son died in a car accident on his 25th birthday. Then my marriage died. Grief is hard. You will change. You won’t be the same person on the other side. This is a good thing. Take your time. When I finally realized i was sitting in the valley of death and throwing the dust over my own head..all alone..I stood up and got on with it. I miss my son. I miss my husband. I always will. The memories are tucked into my heart. Love never dies.

We never said goodbye the day that my husband of 40 year die of a heart attack at his job. It was a regular routine day, nothing of the unusual, just another day to live our lives. We share the love of music as well as teaching ballroom dancing for nearly 30 years. So many memories of those years along with the ups and downs of life. Now it's a time to start over always remembering those Prescious years that we had together. Thank you for sharing your most inner thoughts on Grief and the experience that you went through; it puts life into perspective when you go through something like this. It's a whole new experience that you can't really be explain unless you go through it.

Wonderful video! I am stuck in number 3. I beat myself up over my divorce when we both made mistakes. I like that you share Bill, your Mother and Grandfather with us. I think sharing grief makes us closer as humans because we all have some of it. Thank you again Susan and sweet Desi. Hugs, Donna 💕

i lost my father 7 years ago and my mum 3 years ago , i still miss them so much every day , i was an only child so had no siblings to share the grief with , my only son has now for the last 8 months cut me off out of his life so i dont see him or my grandchildren, lucky i have a group of wonderful friends who are very dear and precious to me without them i dont think i could get through this, grief doesnt leave us it just changes , love to you Susan and you all ♥♥♥♥

After dealing with the shock, anger, pain, loss etc. you remember the good times and the love that was there for over 30 years. I still have in my purse the note he wrote from a distance, I love you, I always have and I always will. Simple and short. But he hurt me, no excuse. I chose to remember the good times, I have 2 daughters and 6 grandkids and I move on, but don't forget.

My Children’s father and I married when I was 19. We were so happy together until I discovered his affairs. I stayed with him for 20 years and as result I have two beautiful daughters. Even after I’d had enough and divorced him I was still welcomed to his family dinners and functions. Even after I remarried that husband was welcomed as well. His family knew he was the cause of the divorce. I’d visit him when he was hospitalized even until his death. I loved him after the divorce, eventually worked through forgiving him and moved forward with my life. But I continued to show him respect as my Children’s father. I knew the children were watching me during those years. I never talked bad about him to them. Over the years as they became adults they learned how he was. My goal was for them to see my Christian actions. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for him. I reflect with the children our good times together. That’s all they need to see. Thanks for sharing your story. Don’t allow the naysayers to dampen your feelings. Love you from Arkansas.

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Peggy....you are wonderful

@c007zy

4 ай бұрын

What a strong Christian witness you are!

Hello Susan and Desi. Each family member that I lost was different. Each one sent me signs through dreams, butterflies, ladybugs, a song, coins. My mom was always funny. My brother was pure love. So many memories, but God is always there to fallback on. I do keep a little journal that really helps, too. 🦋🌼🌸

Thank you for this! My Dad passed away a month and a half ago. I have been stuck in this numb disbelief even though I was holding his hand when he passed. I keep asking what is wrong with me, but knowing whatever I am feeling is ok helps so much! My Mom and I both needed to hear this. I know my Mom is also hurting even though they were divorced…love doesn’t just disappear after 40 + years of marriage. Much love!

My mom passed away in end of June following my dad 's passing in early March, I was severely depressed with grief and guilt because I wasn't there with them when they died and I felt heartbroken the way they suffered and died, I think I will have to find the way to come to terms with the reality and accept and forgive my powerlessness to love them more and better...

I haven’t had anyone pass away where I was badly affected for a long time. I never will get over my parents deaths. As you say you go through it. I didn’t grieve my mothers death for about three years. I was upset of course but I wasn’t dealing with it. All of a sudden her death hit me hard. I was in a store & a nurse who did her blood work was behind me. I was at the checkout & left everything on the counter. Days later I was in a convince store. The policeman who came with oxygen was behind me at the checkout. I was at the Mall & it was the Christmas season. My Mother’s favorite Christmas carols started to play. I left in tears. I broke down badly for a long time. There isn’t any timeline for grief. Love you, Lucy

My husband of 40 years passed away 8 weeks ago. I am just going through the motions right now - I know I will start the real grieving process soon.. Thank you for sharing your steps of grief. I was so excited when I saw the title of today video. I really needed this. Blessings to you from Texas.

@kimappreciateslife

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@charlesmorg5677

Жыл бұрын

I know how it feel losing the one you love ,just like I did lost my wife 13 months ago . I would love to be your friend.,how about that ?

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I meet u I alone 👧😍❤🌷

Such a beautiful message tonight. 🤗 I can so relate to your grief stages. I think you are a very charming, caring person. With the funnest sense of humor!! 💖 You are more like your mom, than you realize! I think as we mature and grow wiser, we understand those we love(d) more and why they may have acted a certain way, along with why we did too.

@charlesmorg5677

Жыл бұрын

Hope you had a great day ?

There is no such thing as acceptance of the death of our loved ones. We will always have the sadness in our lives. We will always wish for the "might have beens". We will always know what we lost. But, we will go on taking it one day at a time until we will laugh and enjoy life but never like we use to before we knew such devastation. We all deal with the death of loved ones differently. At first I slept my way through bouts of crying (but only when alone) but then I threw myself into every activity I could. For years I was busy but then suddenly I just stopped. Now I do what I want. I live life on my own terms and see people I want to see. I can easily stay home for days with my cats reading books and occasionally going to lunch with people I enjoy. I live close to family and really enjoy being with them. I also see friends but because I want to. I like to play cards weekly and sing once a month with my brother at our club. I am happy but sad at the same time and that is my life. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my life but it does mean I no longer want to do those things that are meaningless to me. My family come first now and my pets next because they need me and bring me joy.

i loved this video. You are such a beautiful soul. I lost my ex- husband almost 2 years ago. We had been divorced several years and I was the one who walked away from the marriage. In the end, he, too, had been pretty much alone. I had been in contact with him and felt like something was wrong and turns out he had a brain tumor. After he passed, I went through the stages of feeling some real guilt and feeling somehow it was my fault that he got sick. I had nursed him through other things and I should have been there when he got sick this time. I've made my peace with it now but there are times, like you had mentioned, when I look at couples and think "what if". There are times I miss him and think of our times together. I think that's all just part of loosing someone you love.

For every friend or different relative that died I had a different response after 10+ I have no more heart or sorrow to give anymore.

I had sat here a few hours, crying non-stop after visiting my mom this morning at her assisted living facility, feeling the grief of losing my mom who is still technically alive yet not the real Shirley she always had been before dementia came her way. Watching your video tonight and reading the many comments has helped me a lot. It feels like a restorative pause from the state I was in, to gain perspective through others' experiences, and to feel supported & empowered for the journey with my elderly mom and dad still ahead. Thank you. 💖

@sandrayarnell5409

Жыл бұрын

I’m going through the same thing. I miss my mom so much but she is still alive. It’s so painful. She was my best friend. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

My husband left me in 1990 for somebody else. We had 4 children and I really hoped and battled for for many years that he would come back.....thank God he didn't. 2012 I lost my oldest son, motorbike accident, not speeding just riding around on the farm. We don't know why and how, but he broke his neck. Then I realised there are worse things that can happen to you. Through my heartbreak I actually got healed and that's why I said....thank God my ex didn't come back. I'm 74 now and I still miss my son, but I'm living my best life now. My son's wife never remarried and she's still my daughter, and I'm still mom. My ex is a very unhappy man, but I can only pity him, no hate, just pity. And I'm happy and actually free from all hassles!❤

Susan Thank You for this video. My sister told me about you and how my life mirrors yours in so many ways. My Ex’s name is Bill and I called him Billy. He has not passed on but wanted a divorce. I loved him like no other. We were together 9 years. The loss is so much like grieving someone you love who has passed on. My stages of grief went much like yours. Listen to you gave me more hope in my life . To be able to keep moving through. Thank you!

When you said that you didn’t move on but moved through your grief I thought that described it all perfectly. I lost my mother when I was thirty three years old to pancreatic cancer which absolutely devastated me. We were extremely close and she was only fifty three years old when she died. This was back in 1989 on July 4th. Now I am sixty seven years old and when I look in the mirror I see a woman who is fourteen years older than the mother she lost and which I have permanently etched in my brain. I was blessed to have her as a mother and I wouldn’t trade the short time she was here for anything. Throughout my life, since I was a child, many people I loved and cared about passed on. I have attended many funerals over the years, most recently my father’s. It has given me perspective and made me fearless in many ways to live life to the fullest, with passion, and at time complete abandonment. To never take anything or anyone for granted. To tell those closest to me how much I love them. Life is quite the journey. It’s path winds and curves with many bumps and various directions along the way. The older I get the more I believe us humans are a brave lot!

Grief, ouch, the comment to your question is I've never recovered. It's when I knew that this is the hardest part of life.

When I lost my brother I went through all of the stages and more. I was mad at myself for not making time to see more of his performances (he was a musician.) Then he was gone.... His roommate gave me the best gift. He gave me three cassette tapes (yes, that long ago) of his music. I listened to those tapes until the hurt went away, and it did.

Thank you so much. I lost my husband of 30 years 10 years ago. Alot of what you felt is what I felt. It helps so much to know there are women out there that feel and felt the same as me. I understand you taking care of him when he was sick. Even if you were divorced. He was yours and you were his. Always.

I haven't been functioning very well. On July 3rd, unexpectedly, my big brother, best friend from the day I was born suddenly passed away. .. he was 67.....I've survived witnessing my husband's brutal suicide in 2012 ( 24 year abusive marriage), home hospiced my beloved father in 2014, home hospiced my beloved mother in 2018, but losing my brother a few weeks ago is a grief and pain that's inconsolable. I have never felt this much pain. ...and I am grieving for his life long wife. .....there's no schedule for grief, and this one, I'm not so sure I'm going to snap out of for a very long time. ...peace to all, peace to all who are grieving. ..sending love to all of you out there 💜💜💜

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

Oh Julie...I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered...your dear brother may he rest in peace... xxoo much love, Susan

@julievenus3670

Жыл бұрын

@@LittlePoet thank you ❣️💔

I lost both of my parents in 2020. I was unable to say goodbye because we were in the middle of this pandemic. Then I lost my brother in law who was just like a brother to COVID in May 2021. He was 58 years old. He had his 58th birthday in ICU dying. I am still angry and grieving. It has not been easier with time. One day, I hope I let go of my anger and focus on their beautiful memories.

@hummers7342

Жыл бұрын

sending love Mimi.

Grief seems to hit you at times when you least expect it, even when you think you're over it. It runs very deep but don't fight it, just go through it.

Thank you for this talk . You spoke out of my heart and soul. I lost my darling five years ago. He was very sick with Parkinson’s and I very often did not have the patience to be patient with him. I feel so sorry that there are lots a of things I did not do for him or could have done differently especially leaving him alone in that terrible hospital to die alone. I was not allowed to be with him. The terrible memories haunt me. My friends and son try to reassure me that I did my best and could not have done more. Listening to you has helped me understand myself in my grief. It does not go away and I can’t run away from it. I often think if I died too then I would be relieved of this pain. Thank you and God bless you dear lady.

I was close to my parents especially my mother, they have been gone many years now, I feel like I have coped better than I thought I would. I guess having a husband and my kids that need me you just go on, you can't just fall totally apart. Also, my mother once said to me "Death is part of life" and that's true. She wasn't scared of death. None of us is getting out of here alive. I have a deep faith and love for God and that got me through it too.

My first stage when my Brother was killed was shock,then anger,then denial,then for many years some guilt for many what ifs that played in my head over and over again. To this day there is a big void in my life because he was killed. Yes others in my life have died(parents,Grandparents,Brother in law) including my own Husband..which through me into a major depression...But my Brothers death when I was just 14 took a piece of my very soul....Thank you so much for this VERY appreciated video. Be well you and Desi!!!

Thank you for being so incredibly honest. I lost my dear John unexpectedly in February of 2019 from Cancer. No warnings, no sickness. He died in my arms at home 29 days after we got the diagnosis. My heart is so very broken. Listening to your channel somehow helps. You are a very courageous women and a wonderful role model. Thank you again. Xx

Thank you for sharing. February of 2021, COVID took my sweet husband's life but was not able to take him from me. We were so in love and coming into retirement we had so many dreams. I thought I was at peace because we both believed that death was not the end but rather the beginning of a beautiful promise, life everlasting!! As the days turned to weeks and the weeks into months I began to feel lost wishing God would call me home too. I didn't want to live any more. I began to loose me and became that person you spoke of, silent sadness grew deep in me. I pray, that I may continue to grow strong as you continue to share. Thank you 💖

Wow Susan, you really hit the nail on the head regarding your stages of grief and I could relate to each of them. I lost my mom 10 years ago this past July 4th. I lived 2 blocks away from her and was her only caretaker with my husband's help. I have an older brother who lived about 5 hours away and would visit my mom and I every 3-5 years and never, ever helped with both my parents care as they grew older and had many health issues. There was always a "good" reason why he couldn't come and though it hurt my mom very much, she never told him how she really felt. In the 3 years prior to her death she fell 3x and broke bones and ended up in a Rehab facility till she could come home. The last time in Rehab she called him 3 weeks before she died and asked him why he never came to see her. I stood outside her room and cried because it was pitiful that she was begging him to come. Did he come? No he did not and when I called to tell him she had died, he was surprised. He could have come, he is retired, owns 2 cars and has 2 grown sons, not babies ( who also did not call or write my mother a card or note each time she was hospitalized). He came for the funeral and in the weeks right after her death he came back to her house 3 times and came with a rental truck ready to take furniture back to his home in upstate N.Y. My mothers friends on her block told me it was a shame he hardly came while she was alive. I have harbored so much anger at him these past 10 years and have only recently in the past couple of years let some of it go. The loop has stopped being on replay. My mom was the glue between us and without it our relationship has not gotten better. He told me once, " I guess it's a bit of, out of sight, out of mind". I told him he may have been out of sight, but for my mom and I he was never out of mind. I am 68 and he is 74 and I have excepted that we will never be close especially if only one of us is doing the heavy lifting. My mom would be sad to know that her death changed nothing. Thank you Susan for sharing your loss.

I struggle with the loss of my brother for a long time

You are the first person I've heard talk about the Movie Drama Stage that can play in your head. In a way, my movies comforted me because I could pretend we were still making the movies. However, eventually, real life came crashing back and it would cause me to feel sadder than ever. My husband died 3 years ago. I longed for people to tell me their memories of him or to share something he said that I had never heard before. I could always tell that most people just wanted to distract me from talking about him. I alternate now between the Sadness Stage and the Peaceful Stage. I am sorry you didn't get your happy ending with Bill. I know this video must have been hard to make. Thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with us.

You and I have so much in common with the loss of our mothers and your 3rd husband’s mental illness. Finding your channel and listening to you is helping me so much. Thank you for sharing.❤

Thank you Susan. I know the stages too. I fell into this hell in February, 02 22 22! I remember hearing that morning how unusual this day is and I thought, yes. As you say, well. I have watched you since I found you when you first moved to your little one-room apartment. I have recognized some of the stages you mention. I have known about these, but I thought I would go through these stages one by one and it would be over. I didn't realize you can backtrack. I am stuck in the endless loop now. I am so glad you mentioned this. I will be so glad to "'move through" as you say. I know in my heart that this will always be with me. Even the "quiet sadness" you mention sounds like forever hell. I watched you go through this and I am so happy that you are doing as well as you are. I admire your strength you have shown us through these years. Thanks, never change.

Susan, this is a needed topic to address. I can totally relate. Grief was/is like a zig zag for me… there was no perfect path. I managed to climb over the rocks, sit on the grass, and walk through puddles. You are right, the movie loop does end. Thank you so much for highlighting this journey that is so unique for everyone.🌺🌺🌺

I know the stages so personally. I am so thankful for this. My husband passed 24 years ago this August . He was young and I went through so many of the same feelings. Even though it has been so many years I still see older couples and think it should be me and Rob also. We do change completely because our life will never be the same. I know a lot of people never in a life time get to have the kind of love I had. It was a short time but it was a lifetime of love. I am so thankful and bless for those years. I still have ups and downs and I know that is normal. I just know I would never be able to get through if it wasn’t for God. People who have lost someone needs hear this knowing they are not the only one with these fillings. Thank you.

my greatest grief came thru my youngest brother maybe because we didnt see each other for1 1/2 years untill Ispent the last two days of his life taking care of him. a true blessing.

The past should only be visited. It is way too sad. Too deep. Too painful.

I’m back…. Took a short break from your channel- am glad because love this video. I’m a person in the stage of life where there are more yesterdays than tomorrow’s- and the list loss (of loved ones) grows longer all the time. My grief becomes more profound the older I get.

I am 73 year old missing my dad I was born istanbul turkey,I came usa16 years of he was my hero until today I have good memory of him strong discipline. Good ceracter

You are exactly right that the accepted stages of grief do not fit every one. My husband of 40 years died suddenly in 2016. I prided myself on handling it well. And I did until April 2017 when I fell completely apart.

in the past year my dance mentor, my vocal coach, my uncle and my brother all passed over. My mother is currently on hospice/palliative care. I am her primary 24/7 caregiver. Soon I will have no family I have never experienced a pain like this but I have accepted that this pain that I feel on such a deep level is now a part of who I am and will be for however long it is. I am just so incredibly SAD. Currently the old cliche self care is my top priority, creativity takes a bake seat right now. But yes I am going to sing and dance for these people, my teachers and for my brother for reminding me who I am and for my mother for always loving me I have an alter going with photos and flowers and memories of all of these folks and I will do so for at least a year. At 67 I am going to retire and move to Costa Rica. I'm going to play my guitar, sing and dance in the rainforest. I will have an artistic KZread channel called Abundant Wellness in Costa Rica. But mostly I am going to GARDEN. The love you shared with Bill is nobody's business but yours and Bill"s. Seriously I wouldn't give anyone's judgement of you a second thought. I believe he will continue to guide you from the other side and you will meet again. 🌿🌺🙏💕🙏🌺🌿

@belindahammock2367

Жыл бұрын

My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story. I really appreciate it.

A person never dies when they are remembered and their name is said out loud.

@hummers7342

Жыл бұрын

you are wise. thank you for saying that.

Susan, I ran across you by accident. I am sat down to do some work and while doing so I always listen to KZread. You popped up and I saw it and the title (I don't remember the title now) but I decided to listen, you looked interesting. That was on Monday and here it is on Wednesday. I haven't stopped listening to you. I have already gotten some of the items you use, started a list of the music you play that I liked, and have a list of many of the quotes you have given. You my dear have changed this 72 year old's attitude about life. I lost my dear husband 4 years ago and I understand exactly what you were saying in this episode. I have laughed and cried with you many times and I expect there will be many more times. What I want to say is no one should judge you or anyone on how they grieve. They unfortunately do, but they have not lived your life, they have not been through what you have been through. We do the best we can but like you said - Our smiles and laughter is not as long as they used to be. The tears may not be as often, but they are still there. The memories still come in flashbacks.. We manage, but we have changed. If we are lucky we find someone like you who talks about it and we are able to relate to it Susan, I am sorry for the pain you have experienced. But my dear you are a survivor and you will make it. Your doing well. Keep up the good work. Your an amazing women and Desi is very lucky to have you for his furever mom. Love and hugs to a new friend in my life. Be safe.

@LittlePoet

Жыл бұрын

Oh your words have brought me to tears...! I am so sorry you lost your husband 4 years ago. Grief is not one size fits all...it seems my greif aways comes when I am happy...not sad. I am so grateful you found me...I hope I can find out more about your life and I hope to see you with a new vidoe in a few days!!! Love always, Susan & Desi

Thank you I am a 66 year old widow I my life I have lost people but the 3 that impacted me most are my eldest son aged near years old my best friend who died of terminal cancer and my beloved husband who died suddenly 3 years ago To me grief is a circle it never ends After a time there is a mute acceptance of what has happened but there are also times when it feels so eomeone ripped your heart out and you can't understand why your heart is still beating like you I run the old movie preferring to stay in the place where it was alright I have cried a river and I'm still crying but we go on. God bless you Jen from Stratford upon Avon England