_"I want to record a 5-track EP for $100....we have labels waiting for this stuff."_ If you had labels waiting for this stuff, then *they* would pay for your studio time.

@JpDubbed

5 жыл бұрын

YUP 😂 some people think they're so slick

@obscurousx1275

5 жыл бұрын

I want to work for that label since I've never heard a label pay for studio time unless you were already established and a pretty major band, and even then.

"Wolf, did you the cypher yester?" "All your base are belong to us."

@gabrielhole-jones2547

8 жыл бұрын

+Mekratrig "All your bass are belong to us" sounds like a group of bass players robbing a music store.

@whoamIIamyou

8 жыл бұрын

+Mekratrig Love it! - Would make a great T-shirt

@Stilgar2

8 жыл бұрын

+Mekratrig "Wolf, did you the cypher yester?" -Kenny Florian

@dylanthibodeau6758

8 жыл бұрын

+Gabriel Hole-Jones I'm dying right now

@YanDoroshenko

8 жыл бұрын

+Gabriel Hole-Jones We, bass players, can't rob a music store. For one, there are new strings, which are the most dangerous thing for a bassist. And door is a waay too complicated device for bass player to master.

"wolf u did the cypher yester?" Glenn: That should be on a shirt. You know what you have to do.

@JohanBrodd

8 жыл бұрын

+Thomas Santillan I would so buy that shirt.

@TheHappyLeperBeaver

8 жыл бұрын

OMG I FUCKING NEED THAT SHIRT DONT FORGET THE ONE WITH THE UNITED STATES OF CHINGOLA

I have a screen shot of an email convo where the artist asked me what my prices were for permanent mixes. I told him I don't know what permanent mixes are. He said "the price to mix all my songs forever." HAHAHAHAHA

@gabrielhole-jones2547

8 жыл бұрын

+Tyler Nicolo Send that shit to Glenn's fb. I need his reaction to that.

@trevorwood2118

8 жыл бұрын

+Tyler Nicolo send it to Glenn!!! xD

@tylernicolo7654

8 жыл бұрын

I don't use facebook...does Glenn have an email?

@grantlazenby8192

8 жыл бұрын

+Tyler Nicolo Holy Fuck! I almost fell off my chair!

@FernieCanto

8 жыл бұрын

+Tyler Nicolo the musican ask, will u mix my songs 4ever, the enginer sad no. the musican started 2 cri n got hit by a car. den enginer sad, i wont mix ur songs 4ever, ill mix em *5ever*, den musican died. liek dis if u cri evry tiem

that last "engineer" must have been the guy who mixed St Anger lol

@brucekentallen

8 жыл бұрын

"hey Lars what's gonna be today?" "Just fuck my shit up, fam"

@999alex9991

8 жыл бұрын

+yurimodin st anger was a really good album to ''my personal taste''

@SPNKr16

7 жыл бұрын

+999alex9991 If St. Anger was more dynamic/had less dynamics compression, the guitars had a tone with better clarity and at least the snare drum was normal sounding it would be even easier to focus on the musicality. I hope they fix it when they get around to remastering that one.

@999alex9991

7 жыл бұрын

***** comment = personnal taste. nothing else

@SPNKr16

7 жыл бұрын

+Mal Reynolds That's your opinion just like my opinion is I like the album but it could sound better.

I almost fell off my chair laughing at "chiwempala or chikola"

@JpDubbed

5 жыл бұрын

I know right 😂

The singer in my band won't sing loud, so i tell him to project his voice. "That's what a microphone is for". I swear i wanted to slap him. Then, when I told him to actually learn the lyrics he has to sing, he said "Why? We still have a month until we perform". That is when I did slap him.

@FLAMENCO961

6 жыл бұрын

WirelessTrees I think you gotta get another singer

If you make a "United States of Chingola" shirt id buy it lol

I could still hear Glenn laughing to himself when he was reading the tester cypher one haha

Trve Black Metal is probably mixed in 15 minutes...... max.

@depriety4625

8 жыл бұрын

+Brossel Mixed? Trve kvlt doesn't need mixing, only a toilet-bowl-simulator xD

@BrosselLP

8 жыл бұрын

Ichigo For President computers? fucking mainstream bitch, I record with a potato.

@Worstplayer

8 жыл бұрын

+Brossel 15 minutes? Are you even of the skull? All sliders all the way up, file->export, done. 5 seconds.

@BrosselLP

8 жыл бұрын

+Worstplayer my sex witches hold the potato mic while we play, no mixing needed. Also, fuck fat people.

@tuomashaukka5667

8 жыл бұрын

+Brossel It actually takes effort to make it sound as bad as possible

Being a hip hop artist myself, I apologise to all the engineers for the stupid text messages you may receive.

I died "United States of Chingola"

@manuelcaria3962

5 жыл бұрын

The thing i love the most about trolls

@tenhundredkills

5 жыл бұрын

Chingola is a real place. It's a city in central Zambia. Still, it's a hilarious post! XD

It's interesting to me how in your examples many of the engineers "speak" and act professionally, while the musicians act like immature, foul-mouthed dullards. Congrats to the engineers who chose to take the high ground. That kind of attitude will take you far.

@Jaspertine

8 жыл бұрын

+VivaToddVegas To be fair, the bitchy engineers probably aren't going to submit any screens that'll make themselves look bad, so it's kind of a self-selecting process.

@Jaspertine

8 жыл бұрын

+Logan Taylor Plus, the sensationalistic ones are way the hell funnier.

@adrianrougouski2088

8 жыл бұрын

+Logan Taylor I kinda want some positive ones now I can picture Glenn in a white shirt, his hair ironed, playing some Kenny G or something on the background lol

@DayLikeThisBand

8 жыл бұрын

+Adrián Rougouski That needs to happen.

PLEASE make the "United states of Chinkola" shirt. i was dying for a full 3 minutes before i could continue

"You feel sorry, when we´re famous" kinda quotes are always so funny, hahaha

I dot have that muh money bro

1 dislike by that arrogant "engineer"

@SpectreSoundStudios

8 жыл бұрын

Lol

@sarhtaq

8 жыл бұрын

And it seems his mom saw it too.

@DanielFantini

8 жыл бұрын

+Søren Steinmetz and the rest of his inbred family...

@sarhtaq

8 жыл бұрын

+Dan 2c plus Well since my family are all dead, that's easily done. ;)

@DanielFantini

8 жыл бұрын

Søren Steinmetz what?

Man, that was gold.

went to the studio with a band I was in a LONG time ago...the engineer sat with us and asked what ideas we had sonically..one guitar player voiced the opinion that all he wanted was for it to sound "BIG" or "FUCKING MASSIVE" he stated that all we needed to do to achieve this was "add loads of bass and reverb" to EVERYTHING...we stopped his "having an opinion" privileges until he could prove he wasn't an idiot 😊

@tarnishchris

8 жыл бұрын

I should state this was mid 90's

@lawngnome412

8 жыл бұрын

+Chris Mcreynolds so i'm guessing he never got his privileges back then huh?...

@tarnishchris

8 жыл бұрын

lawngnome412​ lol nope

You should seriously consider making a "wolf u did the cypher yester" shirt with "united states of chingola" on the back. I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while!!

I literally like these before they even start! This series is probably my favorite!

@SpectreSoundStudios

8 жыл бұрын

They're a lot of work, but worth it!

@EvaPilotPedro

8 жыл бұрын

+SpectreSoundStudios Glenn, would you have any advice for getting money in the music industry for people that really can't afford gear or recording time in the first place?

what about dumb venue owner texts?

@SpectreSoundStudios

8 жыл бұрын

If you have some, send them my way!

@TheGorillawind

8 жыл бұрын

+SpectreSoundStudios 1: OMG Glenn actually replied to my comment! 2: let me just find them

@TheGorillawind

8 жыл бұрын

sadly glenn, i updated my phone last night and it's deleted my texts, but it went something like this, venue owner: Hi, can you do a gig for me? me: sure, when and how big are we talking? VO: in 2 hours and 4 piece full band. me: thats cutting it very short as i have just finished work (6pm) and my P.A system atm is only 800W. so i doubt it will fill your room. didn't i tell you to get at least a 2KW rig 3 months ago as that will easily fill your room and cope with any band that will pass through. VO; yep Me: ok, ill do it since its emergency, see you in 30 as i need to get ready and load the gear got to the gig and the band didn't bring any Mics, XLRs, or mic stands and expected me (a fucking dirty amateur) to supply everything out of my ass. bearing in mind my set up is bare bones due to lack of cash at the time and is more suited for a acoustic gig. not full blown thin lizzy tribute. so i guess idiocy on both parts really, him for not hiring/ buying a p.a when i told him months ago and me for actually taking the gig, but it was £60 in my back pocket (severely underpaid due to the bar not taking much that night)

Glenn, I feel empathy for your suffering as a music engineer. I got an amazing chance with my band to record a song in Norway at a good studio as a part of a Barents Region Youth Research. For free. We also learned about stage shows and marketing. The studio said that the time we took to record the song would have costed us about 1500 euros or something similar if we had to pay for it. Our band was a group of three back then and I was at a studio for the first time along with the singer. The keyboardist/drummer had been to a studio once before and had recorded her own tracks. As I had not been to a studio before I decided to ask questions and follow along when the guys were working on our song. I loved the fact that I learned more about recording and didn't get too impatient. We all had an amazing time with our band and the producers were fucking awesome. The final product wasn't perfect and you can surely hear that it has some parts a bit off but that's just because we are a beginner band. The most important thing is that we got to RECORD AT A STUDIO. We might have fucked around a bit in the background but the producers didn't seem to mind. Recording is awesome and you have to show your producer(s) respect for dealing with your shit. If anyone is interested in hearing our band's rock song I can give you a link. The video can be found in KZread. Don't want to advertise like an asshole on other people's videos but if anyone is interested, let me know.

i wouldn't be surprised if slipknot's self titled album was mixed in 15 minutes

This is such an awesome series, I always find myself rewatching these about a year on

Fucking brilliant. I have one... We had a young local band support us at a show one time. They were just getting ready to soundcheck and their guitarist came up to our sound engineer (he was doing the sound for both bands) holding some Line6 or Roland multieffects pedal unit. "Hey man, where do I put this?" Our sound engineer looked up, saw the pedalboard and said "in the bin!" The poor kid's heart broke, rofl!

Just binge watched the entire series...fucking brilliant! As a musician with 40 years of ACTUAL PRACTICE at my craft under his belt and an aspiring engineer, your words of wisdom and fiery wit are nothing short of inspiring, and the constant flow of idiocy from the endless torrent of complete morons is hilarious...DYING for the next episode!

Wait but hasn't he sworn at gear? Like the Line 6 Spider?

It blows my mind that so many people don't realize how much it takes to make even an EP. Not just talking about money-wise, but also the time and effort involved in the process. I've never argued about price with anyone because I know that there's a ton of work involved. Also, as a sidenote, I'm a bass player who always memorizes the songs before recording, takes at most 2 or 3 takes to complete my parts for a song, AND I know how to change my strings. ;)

Venom's first 2 albums were mixed in about 15 minutes, and I sure do love them. Obviously it can be done!

Mixing an album in 15 minutes? That's not even enough time to PREPARE all tracks of one song for mixing. Impressive.

Glenn you seriously need to make a t-shirt with the US of chingola thingy lol

After watching all these videos, I've noticed a very common phrase: "We have labels waiting for this." Take me away from this planet.

I love how you finally put "there" in quotes...maybe that will keep people unable to recognize irony at bay...

Glenn, this series has been such an eye-opening experience in many ways, along with your other informative videos on preparing your band for the studio. I truly feel for the people in this business trying to be nice by cutting deals for free songs or free ep's and just getting shit on. This series has brought such great entertainment to me and if I do ever get into a studio to record in the future, I'll be sure to watch how I act and treat who I'm working with, with only the utmost respect. (Which should be common sense.) Music engineers really don't get the credit they deserve. If these "musicians" really don't want to pay fair prices for a professionally mastered music, they can go back to recording their songs with their government issued trap phones, and their free trial of Fruity Loops.

as a bassist I think your jokes on bassists are fantastic. keep it up!

I found your channel just a few days ago and since then I haven't stopped watching your videos, specially the ones concerning about drum related info. Great channel, great videos, keep em' coming! Regards from a Venezuelan living in Chile.

Dude, you're the best shortcut to good laughs in a record-breaking time.

You gotta do more of these. These are hands down the best vids on your channel, love em! Cheers.

I play bass in a local bar band here in alberta and i absolutely love the shots towards bassists hahaha please keep it up, i cant stop laughing!! cheers!

Oh man this series is just gold. Such a great idea. Literally watched the first 7 back to back. And probably gonna watch the rest!

back when i was in high school, i was in a band that recorded a few times. no more than 4 or 5 songs any of the times we recorded. and we got super deals on it, but they were all home studios, and the finished product sounded like it came from a home studio. this was years ago, and in TN, so the going rate was between $30-40 an hour. which is super cheap actually

Yes, you should turn and swear at the 5150 behind you. hahahahaha. Man these guys who send you these texts are such dopes.

I'm very lucky to have just discovered this channel and now have the pleasure of binge-watching all these cracking videos :D nice one mate!

Another classic installment of one of my fave youtube channels - Glenn you are a funny dude - keep up the good work

These texts series have been a masterclass in shutting down difficult people

Hey there. I have to admit. this is my fav series around the youtube and thanks a lot for doing these. It proves me that i am not the dumbest bassist in existence and somehow motivates me to practicing more and more. So could you please do these a bit more often (I am aware, that it depends on the amount of stupid texts you hear and receve, and if that's the case, then I am sorry :) ) Watching it is really fun and I'd appreciate this a lot. Still remember nr2 rule. And sorry for broken english :)

OMFG I LITERALLY DIED FOR 2 MINS "wolf did you the cypher yester should be on a fucking t-shirt right next to the one that says United States of Chingola" hoooooly shit bruh...you win xD xD

I cant stop watching these. Just the best of the best.

Did someone let a bass player become an audio engineer

@kanped

8 жыл бұрын

+jackdaniel holt-ellison Ah c'mon. That arrogant; has to be a singer, *maybe* guitar. Bass players might be have all the cognitive ability of a catatonic puppy, but they're usually pretty grounded.

@Jaspertine

8 жыл бұрын

+Chris Wilson (Kanped) yeah, he's got the arrogance of a singer, but he also thinks he knows how audio equipment works, so I'm gonna say he's probably a DJ.

@kanped

8 жыл бұрын

Yeah, good shout. Think you nailed it. Also, the work-shyness.

@gabrielhole-jones2547

8 жыл бұрын

+Chris Wilson (Kanped) Yes. As a bassist, I can confirm that I'm totally brain dead, but at least I'm not a jackass.

@kanped

8 жыл бұрын

Gabriel Hole-Jones Speaking from personal experience, mate. Working bass player and hobbyist audio engineer myself.

Yeah, even my bedroom recordings of a guitar and vocals (tracked at the same time) takes like an hour or two from setup to upload. I want to see a video with a timer of someone tracking and mixing a band in 15 mins. The fail would be so good.

Just want to throw a thank you your way for these videos you do. They are very entertaining and I look forward to each one. Cheers!

First time I hear somebody running their voice through a distressor for a KZread video.. Respect.

Maybe stupid texts from venues? My favourites are the "We'll pay you in dinner coupons". Thanks, cause that's worth driving all my equipment for 3 hours to some place I'll never visit again, because who needs money?

@EXTREMEKIWI115

8 жыл бұрын

+JimJamBanx Send them to him if you have any.

2:05 Had me rolling lmfaooo! I keep coming back to these for a good laugh 🤣🤣🤣

Oh the last one was a sweet one! I would've loved to waste my time just to see him "mix in 15 minutes" 😂

I just loooooooooove those. I can barely believe people like these do actually exist!

Thank you Glen I have recently discovered your channel and its a Gem . This series is very funny makes me laugh out loud it fookinh rocks

Hey, Glenn. How about a video for your top favorite Metal - albums in terms of production? No bearing on the music itself, just in regards to the production. And also, for fun, a list of some albums with absolutely atrocious production? Would also be cool to see a "trends in metal production that needs to die" or "why are people still doing this?" kind of video, where you talk about tendencies that a lot of producers have that you don't like, barring obvious ones like use of triggers and auto-tune, of course.

Glenn, as a young musician I can say that you have shown me a thing or two on how things work in the music industry :D plus your videos are really entertaining and I really enjoy them, so thank you very much

Sometimes I don't like the style of these videos but the content is the reason I watch them. Just my opinion

You can mix a track in 2 hours. We do speed-mixing tasks every now and then at school and the results are usually good. However, I would never do a mix in 2 hours professionally. If I manage to mix it in 2 hours, I still need to go back to it the next day to check if I still think it's any good.

Holy shit, this playlist is the best thing I've seen in a loooong while.

With the super reasonable audio engineer responses in the face of abuse and the misspelled incoherent rage on some of these (like the first) I'm thinking they're manufactured conversations.

love this series man!. also just ordered some chicken picks because you opinions seem pretty straight on man. keep up the awesome job. More Fearless gear reviews would be super sweet . I'd like to see the Line 6 Amplifi amp. It's like a surround sound blue tooth tone finding all in one shinanagin device. Like to see if its up to par.

I find it funny how musicians say $100 (or if you're English like me about £75) per song is expensive but from what I hear it was a lot more expensive some years back. God some people are cheap as hell.

@chainsnz8164

8 жыл бұрын

By the way before anyone asks I'm a guitarist who is also taking music tech (basically audio engineering) as an A level

@EmptyVessel197

8 жыл бұрын

+Patrick Mcgowan Good Luck :)

I was drinking a coke while reading the first text and I literally spit it out, because of how funny it is.

When you were saying those things about bass players, I just so happened to be plucking around on my bass. That kinda caught me off guard...

Love your stuff! Brilliant mind, and truthfully spoken!

wow priceless!!!!! I've probably spent about $3500 on recording equipment, daw, plugins,etc in the last 2 years since I started my move to computer recording.... in that time I've read a ton of literature on learning the software and recording techniques and watched probably 1000 hours of you tube videos so I can learn. this is on top of recording for the last 15 years at home..... with that I've recorded maybe 9 of my own songs so i can use as "this is the quality you can expect". I couldn't imagine do it for someone else for $100 a song to have these people in my house etc. people really need to give their heads a shake. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

@rram992

2 жыл бұрын

but they *dot have that muh money bro*

The United States of Chingola bit killed me

These are all great, but I CAN think of a guy that lives off the royalty checks of his song. Randy Brooks. The song? Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. AND a high school buddy recorded The Curly Shuffle. So lightning can definitely strike!

What...? No insane band ads from megalomaniac "musicians" - those are always bar none the funniest! :)

@gabrielhole-jones2547

8 жыл бұрын

+kassemir I agree. Still, the sound engineer one was spectacular.

@kassemir

8 жыл бұрын

Gabriel Hole-Jones Yeah, but you just can't beat a singer who advertises his "band" alongside photos of the freakin' pope :)

The Daniel dumb ass one was pure comedy gold. XD

Hey Glen, I love your banter! Keep up the good work!

Episode VII: The Stupid Musician Awakens

Every time I watch one of these, it makes me glad I work alone. Nobody ends up hating me, I don't end up hating anyone else, and nobody tells me what a shit product I have.

The funny thing about the first guy, is that he says the engineer should cut him a deal because he's going to be "huge." Do you really think this guy is gonna go back and pay the engineer extra after he "makes it big?" No, he already paid for his demo, so he's gonna pay back the engineer in "exposure," of course!

The only album that was finished in 15 minutes after recording was Iron Maiden's 'A Matter of Life and Death', but only because it wasn't mastered.

Good show Glenn! I agree, no track could be mixed that fast.. and while i typed this, i thought about something. If you are a seasoned engineer, which i doubt this guy was, and you had a handful of preset plugin chains for all basic band instruments in the basic music genres i think you just may be able to get a very not mastered, but pretty awesome mix. Never tried it, but now i have a challenge. haha peace

I can't help but feel that no very talented person has ever said "I'm very talented".

I can't wait for next episode! This series is epic.

this dude is the best to watch while you're eating xD

I love the fact that there is one from Wichita, KS. I am from there XD!

lmfao 3:45 that text is priceless!

Best one yet Glenn, people blow my fuxkin mind

Omfg can I please print a T-shirt with the words "United States of Chiwempala"? That's just too hilarious to pass on :-D

Dude totally sick video as always. Keep kicking ass 😂😂😂

That one guy talking about the United States of changola had to be a troll lol this is comedy gold.

If you come up with a 'wolf did you…' or 'united states of chingola' I will totally buy it!

Would be so keen to see reviews of Glenn just swearing at gear. Anybody else??

I don't know about mixing time (must have been long) but the Beatles were able to record almost entire albums in single takes.

Can we please get "wolf did you the cypher yester" on a tee-shirt!? That'd be awesome!

Damn! I couldn't mix samples to the best of my ability in two hours. I usually need three evenings after work to move the mix between the car, my desk, etc, with plenty of down time to rest my ears.

Wait a goddamned minute...100$ may get you 2 hours, if Lucky? that's damn cheap. And they say these other guys are a rip off? ...holy...fucking...hell. They have to be bassist to not get that. That's nothing, even 100$ per song, is nothing. That's what I'll charge as soon as I'm set up and ready. Seriously...These so called 'Musicians' should just call it quit.

@wk4958

8 жыл бұрын

+Nikolai Pellervo i think he meant the total rate a band would pay on a $100 per hour rate would get them 2 hours at glens studio

@IanWrigleyNZ

8 жыл бұрын

+Nikolai Pellervo I'm an I.T. guy, I charge $187.50 per hour, travel on top of that. Time has value, don't work for cheap bastards.

The texts that offer you "promotion" as payment are my favorite. if these people don't have the self awareness to see that their band isn't the "next big thing" like they think it is, they probably don't have the self awareness to see their band is shit either .

Would you PLEASE stop huffing helium before you read the texts? I want to savour your wit and wisdom in REAL-time. Chill, dude. You're killing my buzz.

"wolf u did the cypher" - Pls make this shirt.

God damnit, always with those bass player jokes. I feel bad for laughing at myself

This is the best channel on KZread