My current burnout feels neverending!! Every time I feel like I'm starting to come out of it, the universe throws another curve ball at me & back down I go again.

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Yeah it sucks… hope we’ll get better soon ❤️‍🩹

The effort we have needed to expend on evaluating ourselves so intently and the dx process and then the exceptance is huge. Im in burnout at 58 from much of that but don't have the dx yet and have been through this many times. So give yourself grace. Enjoy the small moments. You understand yourself and your needs better now so try live in the moment and not worry too much. But i get all yr concerns

Paune, I mean this with all of the compassion and understanding in the world. Burnout comes from what my partner and I call “bad math”. If the number of spoons you have does not meet or exceed the amount of spoons an activity requires, doing it anyway is bad math, and doing it repeatedly leads to burnout. An example of bad math: a phone call with your in-laws takes more spoons than you realistically have right now, and the fatigue leaves you in a tearful state of overwhelm. Some life events are unmissable, no matter how few spoons you have. Like, if you don’t have energy to go see a dr, but you have an infection, too bad, you’re going to have to see a doctor anyway. Or, for example, my brother getting married is an event I wouldn’t miss for anything, even if it means I’m taking frequent breaks to go cry in the bathroom and come home burnt out. So those bad math situations just are what they are, and you’ll need to give yourself recovery time afterwards. However, there are a lot of instances in life where we can say “no,” and we don’t, and that is a big thing that leads to avoidable burn out. Obviously, we don’t do it to torture ourselves, we’re just trying to be a human in this world! It can be really hard to even know you CAN say no (especially when we grow up in toxic families), because we’re conflict avoidant, or expectations from other people feel like nonnegotiables (they really are negotiable, actually!) or our own expectations of “well, I /should/ be able to do this” feel so much bigger than the bit of ourselves that is holding two spoons and going, “yeah, really not sure I’ve got what it takes to handle this at all…” It’s really hard to learn how to listen to that little voice saying, “not sure we’ve got what this takes…” but it is VITAL to recovering from burnout, and for avoiding burnout in the first place. So if it’s a missable life event (not a wedding or some once in a lifetime opportunity), I highly recommend you think long and hard about what kind of math is involved with visiting your in-laws. Because even if they’re lovely, well meaning people, it can still be bad math, and that is still valid. You’re allowed to make boundaries to protect and nurture yourself. And you’re welcome to blame it on the travel being too overwhelming for you at the moment or something if it feels too vulnerable to say that you don’t have the energy to be around them or anyone and a visit would be too much. Burnout means you’re in a deficit, so I’d really do what you can to protect against more bad math, because you need a lot of good math to have any chance of recovering.

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for your thoughtful response 😊 this trip has been planned for a few months and I don’t feel like cancelling it plus I’m looking forward to it, but I’ve prepared myself mentally and thought of ways to accommodate my needs. I’ll definitely take time to rest and recover and thankfully my in-laws are a lot more understanding and accommodating now; I know they won’t take it personally :) I’ve done this before and I know I’ll be fine, I’ll take as much time as necessary to recover afterwards! Sorry if I seemed a bit dramatic in the video, I didn’t mean to scare anyone! I recorded it when I felt pretty low but I feel a bit better now 👍

@stephenieolson8535

2 ай бұрын

@@paunesjourney you didn’t scare me, I just couldn’t tell whether it was a trip you actually wanted to go on, or just something you felt you had to do. I’m glad you’re looking forward to it!

Thank you for sharing your story - I relate to 80-90% of what you've been through, from late diagnosis to abusive parents to inability to meet the pressure of financial independence down to me looking into AuDHD recently because of my burnout causing attentional issues though I'm quite certain I don't have ADHD. I'm also in the UK and travelling to Switzerland later in the year! I wish we could be friends but the biggest irony is I'm too burnt out to sustain any new connections at the moment. 😅 So I'll just send you lots of love and virtual hugs and wish you the very best. Thank you for courageously putting your story out there and helping people like myself feel so seen. You're so worthy regardless of all the external achievements we've been conditioned to believe define us.

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

You’re so sweet ♥️ best wishes to you as well 😘

@AnaCostaPatatenra

2 ай бұрын

I relate a lot to your comment as well as 80-90% of this video! It's really helpful to hear how others feel in this thorough manner. Thanks Paune, for sharing all of this ❤

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

@@AnaCostaPatatenra you’re very welcome ☺️

I can so relate to this. The burnout started because my undiagnosed ADHD got completely overwhelmed with too many “top priorities” that my executive function completely shut down. In investigating what was going on there, I realized my “autistic traits” was really combined autism and ADHD, and that sent me through the historical recontextualization, eating up whatever remaining resources my brain had. I’m not overwhelmed, I’m like quadruple-whelmed, and I’m not doing very well at recovering.

@paunesjourney

16 күн бұрын

🫂♥️

I'm so sorry about the burnout, i went into burnout last year and am still dealing with it, so it is very relatable. Thank you so,much for this video 😊 I hope you can give yourself compassion and love ❤

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏 you too ♥️

I’m so sorry you are feeling this pain. I hope it lifts for you soon 😢

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Thank you ♥️ it’s definitely a struggle but at least now I know where it’s coming from and that there are others feeling this way which helps 🥰

You are definitely not alone in this. I had a massive burn out last September and it was basically exactly what you describe. It was horrible and it took several months to completely go away. You will bounce back. Just keep minding your sensory overload and keep demands to the minimum necessary.

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing, it’s definitely reassuring to hear that others have gone through the same thing and come out on the other side ♥️

Thanks for this. Felt every bit of it. Will be into burnout for a bit myself.

@paunesjourney

2 ай бұрын

Sorry you’re going through this too… look after yourself ♥️