"Babies don't need a vacation but I see them at the beach...pisses me off" lmao.

Pure genius. Incredibly funny. Doing this was far more difficult than it appears. One of the greats.

It actually gave me chills, it's so thought-provoking.

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.” 🙏

Cool to see the distortion on the bottom of the screen caused by an old VHS tape dub. Long Live Stephen Wright!

Drove by a gas station and saw two signs “help wanted” and “self serve” So I went inside and hired myself.

This guy has the most ridiculously compelling stories

@nthomas87

Жыл бұрын

In short form, yes. In long form, Norm Macdonald holds the title.

"I heard that you don't know what you have until its gone. So I got rid of everything to figure out what I had" xD

I saw him live when he played on my college campus in '85. Great show. His recorded concerts lead one to believe he was deadpan during his entire shows; in reality when you take away the cutaway edits he cracked and smiled/laughed quite a few times. It's gotta be hard keeping a straight face when everyone in the building is laughing.

@ketchup5344

3 жыл бұрын

unless, as in my case, theyre laughing at you lol

@trainliker100

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. He often cracks himself up a bit.

"Some people suffer from a fear of heights. I have a fear of widths."

@joelwexler

5 жыл бұрын

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. There's people here who don't think that's funny?

@Milesco

5 жыл бұрын

I once tried to make instant coffee in a microwave....I almost went back in time.

@topsey_kretts

4 жыл бұрын

I have poop on my ass tube

"I had a job once, at a fire hydrant factory. But there was no place to park."

@kissmeraas

4 жыл бұрын

Why would you want to park *inside* the factory?

One of the best one liner comics ever. My fave: my friend is a radio dj. When he walks into a tunnel you can’t hear him.

@trainliker100

3 жыл бұрын

To be a bit pedantic, that isn't always true. I worked for a company that made the HITAC tunnel radio rebroadcasting system. And there are other such systems. There is a means to receive, and rebroadcast, radio signals inside a tunnel. Big tunnels all over the U.S. and the world have such systems. Depending on the system, your AM radio and FM radio won't drop out. And more importantly, emergency radios will still work in the tunnel for first responders. And the cherry on top, at least with the HITAC type systems, is that the tunnel authorities can override the what was being broadcast over the air and provide their own message such as "Accident ahead, slow down." or "Tunnel temporarily blocked. One hour wait." Anyone who happens to be listening to their radio will hear the message. At the company I was at, this was just one of several product lines. It was sold off to Canam Technlogy who handles it today. They don't seem to use the tradename HITAC anymore, but they have a web site showing their stuff.

@AnitaRokz

Жыл бұрын

Vz dlig🎉7;wjgh😢🎉😂ni❤ a erin is have uuk😢v TV😮jo

@CassiBaby

Жыл бұрын

@@trainliker100 thanks for explaining the weirdest reassurance in this world, I love you.

@heatherperleberg7816

Жыл бұрын

​@@trainliker100 that's a lot pedantic

"If you didn't know me, would you think I was a stranger?" - Steven Wright

"You never know what you had until it's gone. And I wanted to know what I had. So I got rid of everything." -Steven Wright

@sansoucie1969

11 ай бұрын

He also said, "you can't have everything.... where would you put it?"

"OK, so what's the speed of dark"? Next to "6,000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant", this is my favorite line from him ever

@jeffreyanderson2555

4 жыл бұрын

I know them and they wouldn’t do a thing like that.

thank you so much for the upload. fantastic comic and great guy in real life. king of the one liners. most ppl haven't even heard of this dude and it's sad. thanks again. awesome and the quality and audio are balanced. great job

Did you ever wonder how deep the ocean would be without all those sponges?

“I just paid $30 for a bottle of shampoo. For $30 I should’ve gotten a bottle of real poo...”

Steven is so funny that just reading his jokes quoted by other people on here is making me laugh.

"So, what did you think?" "Bob was here." Line I had never heard before. For years I've told students, "everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." He has the funniest lines!

@MerleBowers

5 жыл бұрын

@@peterpiper5064 none

@peterpiper5064

5 жыл бұрын

@@MerleBowers Phew! Thank God they ignored your advice 😮

The genius required to write these jokes is unbelievable

This guy is SO great. Classy, and too funny.

Salvador Dali was using a dotted line he caught every other fish just awesome

babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach.. Wow I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my face.. lool

Thanks. I had forgotten just how brilliantly funny Steven was when I watched him on the Johnny Carson kinds of shows.

@enfieldjohn101

3 жыл бұрын

It sure is. Even his responses to Johnny Carson's interviews were hilarious.

The first few seconds are the first time I've ever seen him smile.

"if ya shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" WIN.

Favourite Steven wright joke is " I want to get a tattoo of my self on my entire body...but an inch taller". Classic.

@ugaladh

5 жыл бұрын

my favorite was....." I put a blank tape in the stereo. turned the volume up full blast. drove the Mime next door crazy."

@fivestring65ify

5 жыл бұрын

@@ugaladh Insanely funny.

@tsant825

5 жыл бұрын

"My neighbor had a circular driveway put in, now he can't get out"

@dwindle

5 жыл бұрын

Wow, I stole that joke so many years ago I forgot he was the one I stole it from.

1:00 "What do you mean?" "You know, you are awake, now close your eyes and sleep."

brilliant! Clear school colors...and wake up letter from hotels!!! pool depth hehhehe

Sometimes I fill the bathtub halfway with water, turn on the shower and sit in it. Then imagine I was in a submarine that’s just been hit.

i know he's being funny but for some reason i believe everything he says

@enfieldjohn101

3 жыл бұрын

No matter how surreal it gets, he does make it sound very convincing.

I wish there was more funny like this in the world.

I saw him in London on this tour, God, I'm old.

I love how he made himself laugh about giving everything away. I miss Steven.

@Repugnantone

4 жыл бұрын

He's apparently still touring, just not at the same level as he used to. Google it.

Someone asks Steve how he feels.You know that feeling when you lean back in a chair and almost tip over.I feel that way ALL the time..

"My school colors are clear". What a colorful imagination he has. 😀

"I'm not naked. I'm in the band."

@samualwilliamson369

4 жыл бұрын

My school colors were clear..

My favorite ---I bought a box of powdered water...but I don't know what to add.

This guy is like Monty Python on drugs.

The great Zen Master of the absurd

Steven Wright is a beast

I used to love watching this guy. In the spirit of his humor I wondered if he could still be alive after all this time so I checked and yes he's still alive. I'm 4 months older than him.

@enfieldjohn101

3 жыл бұрын

He sure is. It's great that he's still around and you can visit his website to get CDs and DVDs directly from his store. He's already successful, but I enjoy supporting his work. He's so underrated and seldom mentioned today.

My eyes hurt. I was speedreading and hit a bookmark.

Hey! Steven Wright shows I haven't seen! What a treat!

HILARIOUS!! I WENT FISHING WITH SALVADOR DALI.... AND HE USED A DOTTED LINE... AND HE CALLED EVERY OTHER FISH!!!🤣😂🤣

Seems to me Donald Fagan consults Steven Wright on song lyrics for those 70's era Steely Dan songs. I lvoe this stuff !

Dude a genius...simple yet funny

Thank you so much for upload,

"Yeah..I'll have some waffles.."

Wright was comic genius...some people just dont get deadpan humor...hes the best of all time at it

@wildegroot8724

5 жыл бұрын

Is.

The King of One liners.

05:16 Much of Wright's humor is surreal so his reference to Dalí is apt and not surprising.

@bigLdrones

5 жыл бұрын

YouzTube99 🙄🥴🤤

@sunzeneise

5 жыл бұрын

How can t you tell?

@ibrahimtall6209

4 жыл бұрын

Aww did you just watch the Gilbert Gottfried podcast w/ Wright as a guest and then think this would be a smart comment ?

@YouzTube99

4 жыл бұрын

@@ibrahimtall6209 No. Until you mentioned it, I wasn't aware the GG had a podcast.

I live on a one-way dead-end street.

"If you didn't know me you'd think I was just a stranger" 👌 gold

@camouflaged2

5 жыл бұрын

This is gold. Too good.

@GeneralGeorgeS.PattonJr.

5 жыл бұрын

It’s... “ If you didn’t know me would you think I was a stranger?” 3:20

One of the most original and funny comedian I have ever seen. I wish we had more comedians like him.

@IAm-qf2xb

5 жыл бұрын

Barak Obamish But then they wouldn’t be original

thanks for the upload

Ahh the guy on the couch

thanks for posting

The babies on the beach one is jokes. "...it pisses me off."

'if you shoot a mine should you use a silencer' - 'if you didn't know me would you think i was a stranger?' - GOLD!

@JW...-oj5iw

5 жыл бұрын

Shane Bray ... This video just showed up. It's 'mime', not "mine".

"I live in a highrise apartment. The other day I took my dog for a walk. On the ledge. Most people are afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths" 🤣🤣🤣

I love how his brain works. I’m jealous . . .

You ever lean back on two legs of a chair and just as you’re about to fall you catch yourself ? .......... I feel like that all the time.

Classic comedy from Steven

It's seems like he's really trying, not to laugh, as he's telling his jokes. That's got to be extremely difficult.

2:31 Lmao. Wright is great and classy.

It gets me how the middle right of his head has a square of hair. You can see it through the thin bushes when he looks to his left. In interviews when he's older it's easier to see it, so in this older footage I lose myself looking for it

@ketchup5344

3 жыл бұрын

you need to get out more lol

@twhontehwon200

3 жыл бұрын

@@ketchup5344 u right.

My favorite is. “I went to a restaurant that served breakfast anytime. I ordered breakfast in the Renaissance

@lawbail5956

5 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@willybla1

5 жыл бұрын

You mean french toast during the Renaissance I'm pretty sure that's what he said.

Top 3 comedians EVER

Too many comedians just tell unfunny stories about their lives. It's so nice to hear actual jokes.

The master of dropping acid and keeping it together..

@wesleyalan9179

5 жыл бұрын

I can drop acid and keep it together...(its shrooms that I cant

Love this guy

"Ooooooohhhh Steven" please keep working? Where did the time go?

Every day I like to put a little of the time aside and just forget about it, so at the end of the year I have a few days to myself!

@kissmeraas

4 жыл бұрын

Once you forget about a time, it's gone forever, so at the end of the year you'll be left with nothing 😜

There can be only one!

Well done, Larry...

Steven is a big fan of Salvador Dali and it started with him visiting a museum on a school trip in high school

Picture two people going to a movie theater to see different movies (for whatever reason). They come out of the theater, after watching two different movies, and ask each other, "What did you think?" What makes his joke funny is that one wouldn't ask this question after 85 years of not seeing someone. It's a short-term question.

@natura808

3 жыл бұрын

It’s way deeper than that...

He is pure genius.

the guy on the couch half baked

I remember seeing this when it first aired years ago.

@IAm-qf2xb

5 жыл бұрын

Kevin Anderson hey thanks

Nice work :)

Love this guy ... lol 😂

This is like watching a Proto-Mitch Hedberg.

@naptimegaming1347

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I feel like Mitch and Hannibal burress both got their style from him. Sad about Mitch though.

@SPFLDAngler

4 жыл бұрын

This guy is still alive. Mitch went down a dark path and got to the point he was asking for drugs on stage before he overdosed.

the prologue was good too.

I haven't heard any of this material - he should put out another album.

6 people are mimes

A National treasure.

@gamleskalle1

4 жыл бұрын

Nic Cage

I like to read between the lines - but I always take the precaution of checking the timetable first.

2:50… First time I have EVER heard Steven Wright say a "bad" word!!

Jesilnik owes this man royalties

tremendously brilliant man ,,,!!! i miss him ..

@scoylevids

5 жыл бұрын

he is still alive I think

@camogrrl

5 жыл бұрын

He’s not dead

@stuartbromley3513

2 ай бұрын

He's still rocking it at age 68, he's the best

356👎 people have no sense of humor are walking dead! Pure comic genius I’m still pissing my pants!

I had a dog and when he was a puppy I named him Stay. lmao lmao. I used to drive a helicopter and could never find a place to park so I would just tie a rope to it and leave it running. lmao lmao

"I got busted for scalping low numbers at the deli."

@redbird28able

3 жыл бұрын

"Sold a number 3 for 28 bucks."

Graffiti in the womb!

oh wow i never knew that zack galifianikis modeled his style after steven. at least thats what it seems like, they both ramble through one liners and short but sweet bits. i really love his comedy, never heard of him but i feel like i just stumbled upon a legend

@enfieldjohn101

3 жыл бұрын

He sure is a legend. He's been hilarious for a long time. Was pretty much the originator of surreal one-line comedy.

"Bob was here." XD

To whoever posted this video.............”Thanks.”