This show shouldn't have been cancelled. That was a mistake. This man is intelligent, observant, positive, and freakin' hilarious!

@blaustein_autor

5 жыл бұрын

And why should your elaborated opinion on this matter?

@reneesams985

5 жыл бұрын

Hes probably his dad brother cousin trying to get people to like by lying in this comment section nothing good he's ugly not funny at all I try watching to give him a chance he is no good so much better out there can't believe how they pick this crap something is not right let me pick real talent for us because they cant

@Angie-Pants

5 жыл бұрын

@@reneesams985 looks like you're having a stroke.

@fruitypeebils

4 жыл бұрын

seems like he's better off now that its cancelled. i mean crashing is a pretty big show edit: nevermind turns out thats cancelled too. but i mean 3 seasons on hbo is still pretty damn good

@charliebaker1427

3 жыл бұрын

Right i miss the show so much

I love how all Pete's monologues have some sort of positive, self-love message compared to the typical "our government sucks and everyone is stupid" standard message from other hosts.

@krystalmayes7552

6 жыл бұрын

Tristen Perez YES!!!! This.

@avedic

3 жыл бұрын

YES! Totally agree. I'm a straight guy in my 30s....and I'm in no way immune to this negative body image thing. I have fairly straight hair....with a _bit_ of waviness in it. Not much. But a bit. But I've always wanted to have wavier hair. NOT curly....but wavy. Just not as straight as mine is. Just _more_ wavy. And this monologue made me realize I'm furrowing my brow at a _partly_ cloudy day...wishing it was a _mostly_ cloudy day. But definitely NOT sunny or rainy. Fuck that shit. And isn't that ridiculous when you think about it? I'll be dead soon. We all will be dead soon. That's....nuts. It's scary. And it's so easy to feel down on yourself because you aren't the ideal version of what you wish you were. I don't even want to change that much about myself...I like how I look. But I damn sure want to tweak a number of things. My hairline is fine...probably better than average for someone in their 30s. But I wish it was a bit lower/better. I wish I had _slightly_ more muscle mass. Just a BIT more. I wish my teeth were whiter. I drink way too much coffee....and red wine doesn't help. I wish my face was ever so slightly less narrow. By like 1 or 2 millimeters. No more. Already went over the _slightly_ wavier hair. I don't have any wrinkles on my face....yet. But there's SLIGHT lines I can see show up after I've been laughing or smiling for some time. I could go on...and on.... Anyone who thinks straight guys don't feel self-conscious and vain....are wrong. Or they're right and I'm seriously in the minority. But I doubt that very much. And honestly...this monologue was genuinely helpful. I feel better now. Not as anxious about all my flaws. I love the message Pete delivers here. That no matter what/who you are....someone IS in to that. I'm super into girls who are kinda androgynous....a bit weird, off, anachronistic. Girls who probably look down on themselves for not looking like the Cosmopolitan "it" girl. They might think lots of guys find them unattractive and too...whatever. But....I most definitely AM into that. Just love how these old monologues hold up. They won't ever become dated....because it's about genuine honest stuff we've always dealt with. Not about how Trump said such and such dumb thing yesterday. It's refreshing....

This is an awesome alternative to the news one-liners monologue style that pretty much everyone else follows. It's a shame that the show got cancelled.

@nyar5863

8 жыл бұрын

+Jack Ding If you´re okay with replacing sunny-faced Petey-Pie with a raspy-voiced, sourly alcoholic you ought to try Doug Stanhope. That guy's coherent bits are up to 12 or so minutes long.

@reneesams985

5 жыл бұрын

He sucks all the way around cant find anything worth looking or listening to crap

@johnboats9075

2 жыл бұрын

@@reneesams985 then why dear sir did you vist this video? Do you seriously have nothing better to do than go to places you hate and show your ass? Do you walk into the dmv and just shit on the floor. You are the worst type of person.

Has he discovered a new type of entertainment? Self help meets comedy. Shomedy. Remember where you heard it first people.

@nikoincroatia

10 жыл бұрын

motivational comedy

@thatguywiththecoolusername6787

6 жыл бұрын

“Shomedy” I fucking love it.

i know it's been years and no one might see this, but this is exactly what i needed to hear right now. it made me tear up. thanks pete, sorry i just found out about your show now. you did great

@Galdring

4 жыл бұрын

Well, it is a lie. How fit you are is only part of your attractiveness, but it is a part. Others lying to you, or you lying to yourself about that will just make you hard to deal with. At least how fit you are is something you have control over (I'm not saying finding time and energy to exercise is easy). Other parts of attractiveness like intelligence, bone structure, personality... They're much harder to improve, if it is even possible.

@moltenlava6684

4 жыл бұрын

Marbles shut up nerd

Pete's really preaching today. And it's my kind of gospel. Hit it!

@braydenmaine

10 жыл бұрын

for some reason when i read this, it made me think of Lorne from the show Angel.

the closing line was perfect and so true hahaha own what you have

This makes me feel better

I liked that last line the best.

@thequeenundisputed

10 жыл бұрын

It's a fine line, but it blatantly ignores the fact that a lot of girls do things like curl or straighten their hair for themselves, not because they want to find someone to have sex with.

@joeysraven

10 жыл бұрын

thequeenundisputed changing your outward appearance for your only yourself doesn't really make a whole lot of sense

@JamjoPebro

10 жыл бұрын

Joey Raven How so? If you like to see yourself with a certain hairstyle or color or whatever, then why's it nonsensical to do so with no regard for attracting mates?

@joeysraven

10 жыл бұрын

JamjoPebro I was suggesting that the way people like to see themselves is based on their view of how the world sees them--whether that manifests itself in deliberately rebelling against what they believe is the way the world wants them to appear, or wanting to look like whatever their idea of better is (like straight of curly hair) or whatever. To say that the way you make yourself look to the world is not at all based on the way you think you will be viewed by others seems a little delusional to me. I was not suggesting that the only reason to alter one's appearance is to snare a mate...

@DamianReloaded

10 жыл бұрын

thequeenundisputed Let's assume he was talking particulary about women who do those things because they think they will be more attractive to men. Which more than an assumption is exactly what Pete implied.

After a night of cramming for my finals... coming home to this is just.. priceless. Love you pete!

@KMM-kx2yn

6 жыл бұрын

MusingsofaJay♡ i hope you passed them! And that you are alive!

I love this entire monologue. Made me laugh and feel warm and happy all at the same time. And I'm not ashamed.

Great stuff, Pete. This is exactly what needed to be said. Aces!

Fucking amazing dude. How can anyone hate on him? He says the fucking true 90 percent of the time

Thicker milkshake = MORE MILKSHAKE. Excellent Mr. Holmes

"I love a good rumpkin" I love you, Pete

love this show. it should still be on the air

Best closing line! One of my favorite Pete Homles videos!

Brilliantly written and a great message. You rock Pete!

I think Pete would have done great on Saturday Night Live.

"say it loud, i'm soft and proud!" lol

As a Sarah with a thicker milkshake, this video spoke to me. Thanks Pete!

Ladies and gentleman Pete Holmes is the man!

this made me feel so fucking good. every girl NEEDS to see this! i love him!

Aww, I love this. Pete has such a beautiful soul.

this made me not hate myself so much im so happy thank you pete I've been through psych hospital drug detox and suicide attempt and a coma in the past week and its been a mess trying to stop hating myself

Love this video.... Needed to stumble across this.

Loved it and sent it out to a bunch of my friends. SOFT AND PROUD!

Almost ten years later, this still makes me feel good. Thanks, Pete. 💗

He is so adorable!

I'm just imagining him, late at night, sitting at a desk with his little desk light on, laughing to himself, "hahahaha, rumpkin."

This. This right here is why I love the Pete Holmes show.

This should be on one of those upworthy thingamajigs. Great message of body positivity from a true delight.

Hands down, favorite sketch ever. Major points to Pete Holmes. 👏👏👏👏❤️ *my baby squirrel sized self skips off happy for some well-deserved ice cream*

This was a FANTASTIC message and well delivered! Great job Pete!

damn pete you're channel was my favourite on youtube!! miss you man

@Reillytyne

8 жыл бұрын

Wait what......is.....is he ded?

@anurag070796

8 жыл бұрын

+Reillytyne no just his show got cancelled. He still does his podcast.

This is one of my favorite monologues.

Why would anyone cancel this show? This is so amazing.

Of course I find Pete Holmes long after his show is gone. I love him, he reminds me of the late John Ritter. :)

This is so lovely!

I listen to this from time to time because Pete is a gem

Love this! Epic way to stand up to the media world about body image! Awesome thank you!!!!

This made me more happy, thank you Pete.

Awww, that's so sweet. I loved this

laughed to hard at the museum painting part :D

The only thing I don't like about Pete Holmes is that he laughs at all his own jokes, often more than the crowd. The best stand-ups I've seen rarely laugh at their own jokes. Love ya Pete but take a chill pill

This video is always here for when I'm having a bad day. Love him!

this is hilariously awesome.

Freakin' beautiful. Nail on the head

I love this show

3 years on and rumpkin is still great

This is so sweet and fantastic :)

💜 Pete, you're awesome.

Hilarious and motivational, good job Pete!

holy shit pete, what a great bit!

This is so important. Especially from a man in Hollywood. Thanks, Pete. ♡

Perfect ending. He seems to always get those

Amen Pete, amen

I hope this video gets a million views

That was great!

If he likes rumpkin... What about a blumpkin ;D

@ProlificThreadworm

4 жыл бұрын

What's that?

This is actually precious

I love you, Pete!

Such a great message to anyone

Pete Holmes rocks!

i tell some of my friends this all the time

Pete 6 years ahead of everyone else.

so frigin good!

great monologue!

How was there not a Sir Mixalot joke in this monologue?! An admirer of big butts in medieval times, it practically writes itself!

“Sarah. She’s a lady.” That’s an even funnier joke now lol

Pete! Come to Bonnaroo! We'd love you there :)

Yeah Pete should be a thought for the next late night host this guy is perfect! Who else came here from JAREDS!!

“Spend the time you would spend straightening or curling, fvcking someone who likes you the way you are.” - Pete HolmesThese words should be drilled into the minds of all people everywhere

Idk if thicker milkshake is a great compliment lol

"Say it loud, I'm soft and proud!!" Pete, marry me please

I love you Pete Holmes

PREACH IT BRO

SATURDAYS ARE FOR PANCAKES!!!! lol he seems like such a nice guy and so funny I wish this show was still on!!!

“Here in 2014” 😭

Oh you, Matronly, starry-backed giant, I love you! This is the best

lmao the ending was awsome

I miss this show

Really +ve message!!! #respect

#ILoveAGoodRumpkin

Oh, Pete Holmes, I love you!

Welp... Now I'm in love with Ol' Petey Pants.

I like this

There was one person who loved my body, but they are gone now. Now I accept that they were that proverbial "1/1,000,000", it was the one time I rolled all sixes, the one time I was dealt a natural 21 and I dont believe it will ever happen again.

@foxhazhax4845

Жыл бұрын

This is why I drink.

Can't like it enough!!😂😂

I too love a good rumpkin

Preach!!

I'm a straight guy in my 30s....and I'm in no way immune to this. I have fairly straight hair....with a _bit_ of waviness in it. Not much. But a bit. But I've always wanted to have wavier hair. NOT curly....but wavy. Just not as straight as mine is. Just _more_ wavy. And this monologue made me realize I'm furrowing my brow at a _partly_ cloudy day...wishing it was a _mostly_ cloudy day. But definitely NOT sunny or rainy. Fuck that shit. And isn't that ridiculous when you think about it? I'll be dead soon. We all will be dead soon. That's....nuts. It's scary. And it's so easy to feel down on yourself because you aren't the ideal version of what you wish you were. I don't even want to change that much about myself...I like how I look. But I damn sure want to tweak a number of things. My hairline is fine...probably better than average for someone in their 30s. But I wish it was a bit lower/better. I wish I had _slightly_ more muscle mass. Just a BIT more. I wish my teeth were whiter. I drink way too much coffee....and red wine doesn't help. I wish my face was ever so slightly less narrow. By like 1 or 2 millimeters. No more. Already went over the _slightly_ wavier hair. I don't have any wrinkles on my face....yet. But there's SLIGHT lines I can see show up after I've been laughing or smiling for some time. I could go on...and on.... Anyone who thinks straight guys don't feel self-conscious and vain....are wrong. Or they're right and I'm seriously in the minority. But I doubt that very much. And honestly...this monologue was genuinely helpful. I feel better now. Not as anxious about all my flaws. I love the message Pete delivers here. That no matter what/who you are....someone IS in to that. I'm super into girls who are kinda androgynous....a bit weird, off, anachronistic. Girls who probably look down on themselves for not looking like the Cosmopolitan "it" girl. They might think lots of guys find them unattractive and too...whatever. But....I most definitely AM into that. Just love how these old monologues hold up. They won't ever become dated....because it's about genuine honest stuff we've always dealt with. Not about how Trump said such and such dumb thing yesterday. It's refreshing....

LIKE LIKE LIKE!!!!

Me, being a "thicker milk" with a "pumpkin rump" need to play this monologue to myself every time i look in the mirror.

I think if Pete would’ve further distanced himself from the late night formula, just a little bit more, this show would’ve found its audience sooner. It’s too bad it picked up after it was already cancelled.

This man was far beyond his time

I miss Pete's monologues, they're not just short news jokes and puns

he looks like Tim Robbins in shawshank redemption

i love a good rumpkin

Please make more shows.