This is why I love Pete Holmes. It's impossible to feel condescended by someone whose entire act humbles him.

@tobyhouston2514

2 жыл бұрын

I know Im randomly asking but does anybody know of a way to log back into an instagram account..? I stupidly forgot the login password. I appreciate any tricks you can offer me.

@zanelucca8272

2 жыл бұрын

@Toby Houston Instablaster :)

@tobyhouston2514

2 жыл бұрын

@Zane Lucca i really appreciate your reply. I got to the site thru google and Im in the hacking process atm. Seems to take quite some time so I will reply here later with my results.

@tobyhouston2514

2 жыл бұрын

@Zane Lucca It worked and I actually got access to my account again. I'm so happy! Thank you so much you saved my account !

@zanelucca8272

2 жыл бұрын

@Toby Houston Glad I could help =)

Bring Pete Holmes back to late night! He was just ahead of his time - with the growing popularity of stand-up comedy and the emergence of less traditional, comedy-driven late night/chat, it's time to bring this show back. No one brings me more moments of pure joy than Pete!

The problem is that when I do just say ``i`m done,`` to a conversation and walk away, that`s when people think i`m a sociopath. So were using sociopathic behaviour to mask our sociopathic tendencies...

@hrmmmmmm

3 жыл бұрын

the thing about being a sociopath is: if you're any good at it, no one could tell

Actors... can we trust them?

"Conversationally, we can't toss the friz", fucking love it :)

A treasure of a human being

I could definitely do without Tim

@RKCfootball

4 жыл бұрын

Hello, it’s me Tim

@swim_ad

3 жыл бұрын

@@RKCfootball Molly said she could definitely do without you.

This is f*cking hilarious

Please come back pete :(

This was so meta...

@braydenmaine

10 жыл бұрын

gtfo

@Dinmhor

10 жыл бұрын

Brayden Maine K

hate it when people ask how you are doing by way of greeting. JUST SAY HELLO!!! YOU DON'T REALLY CARE HOW I AM DOING!!!!

Pete, your monologues are getting better and better! They're the videos I look forward to the most on my KZread feed. Keep up the good work!

3:47-3:52 is one of the most amazing moments of human expression I've ever witnessed! I'll be over here practicing that if anyone needs me....

No idea how the monologues seem to keep getting better. Pete, the limitless font of comedic material that is your brain amazes me.

Fucking genius.

I REALLY enjoyed this one to just because I've had the same thoughts as far as being a narcisstic lunatic who lives in imaginary, individualized realms of thinking goes. if dudes like me and pete and other artists i know are the typical as far as creatives go then honest to god we are fucking crazy people.

Best late night monologues in the history of the world.

WARNING: *DO NOT* watch this while eating cereal. Fucking laptop now's all sticky keyboard.

@theweirdones8126

9 жыл бұрын

U sure it was cereal that made it sticky

@TheDrB0B

9 жыл бұрын

Jesse Morales Now you're making me think....

@theweirdones8126

9 жыл бұрын

***** waka waka waka

Acting: the only job in the world that actually rewards you for convincingly plunging head long into the depths of multiple personalities.

I recently watched Burr, Jeselnik, and Conan on this guy's show. And now I am watching his stand-up act and I'm realizing that this is my cup of tea. Big time.

Man that was so fucking funny. I had to pause because I went into a crying laughter fit. Pete Holmes is great.

Your best monologue yet, Pete! Well done! It's probably all down hill from here, but hey, good job! ;)

Petey always had a way of explaining things

"EXIT JIM!!!!"

I totally get Pete... now I'm scared.

There was an article on BBC Health on how comedians have ‘high levels of psychotic traits’ =P

This was done beautifully ....great job Pete !

5:24 blow our mind segment Love this show

Best one yet for sure.

one of the best monologues imo

So when you wrote the james bond shower seen did you play boths parts in your head then? Im so confused.

@magicmanscott40k

7 жыл бұрын

GrantizEN if he wrote both parts yes

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

thats how comics imagine a premise. yes.

Wow this was great. I totally wasn't fake laughing through the whole thing.

There's a two tea minimum! Lol

He probably gets this comparison a lot but it just hit me, he reminds me of John Ritter a little bit.. his kind nature, his sillyness. I don't know where I've been but I just randomly discovered Pete this morning on a random KZread suggestion, now I'm binging on bunches of his videos, I'm hooked! Love him already!

Im crazy! YES, DANCE FOR ME!!!

Pete is a champion. Bring him back CONAN!!!!!!

This was a philosophical dissertation. More please.

this is today. it is 2018. and I am watching it. thanks pete.

Great monologue! 👏🏼

What is it with Americans and frisbees? I have a lot of American mates, and it wasn't until watching this I realised all the Americans I know like frisbees. And no, realised is not spelled wrong I'm from New Zealand, that's how we spell it here.

@dereklansky7764

9 жыл бұрын

MagicalWellecto92 frizbeez be dope af

@danieljohnson2046

8 жыл бұрын

+MagicalWellecto92 frisbees : college aged guys :: tampons : women. Never leave the house without one.

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

@@MrGardlou what is it with peruvians and cast iron skillets?

Dark mirror indeed.

Oh no! Head-burst!

Favorite monologue so far.

The backdrop looks like Rapture from Bioshock.

Actually, by these standards, everyone's mother is a sociopath. How many times have you seen your mother be upset/angry and answer the phone in the sweetest voice you ever heard? Then after hanging up, she returned to the previously scheduled emotionality.

type 6 to repeat pete's impression of the girl telling a bad joke

I’m crazy, dance, dance for me

still solid stuff!

"I could do without ya, Tim!" --hah!

This is the funniest monologue Pete has done!

you're great at your fake laugh pete. i see how much you do it with your guests.

@hamooon

10 жыл бұрын

na, he just overextends the actual one. same thing, almost, though much easier to overextend a present emotion i reckon than start one from scratch

@Vicvines

10 жыл бұрын

try over laughing and see how fun it is. When I am alone or with my buddies I will laugh way too much and it is so fun to do.

@andrewmulazzi2553

9 жыл бұрын

It's not fake, that's how he laughs. Listen to his podcast.

@EGLchicano

6 жыл бұрын

hamooon should

Wow this changed my opionion on this guy. great set

It's not sooo crazy I can fake cry and I'm not a sociopath, maybe

3:46 was that sims lingo?

@arblahblah

8 жыл бұрын

+Jobin Thomas I want that cue card

@kyrridas1573

8 жыл бұрын

+Jobin Thomas "Simlish"

"i do fake laughs sometimes" biggest understatement ever.

This is fantastic

I love this guy.

One of his best, for sure!

Ohhhh Petey. Love ya bud.

Brilliant ..... dude ur awesome keep it up

Pete just turnt into a sim lol 😂

That smile though

Either his jackets are too narrow in the shoulders, or he's too narrow in the shoulders for jackets. Either way, I would

@7estrelle

8 жыл бұрын

If he...

@AbdulN

8 жыл бұрын

could he...

@7estrelle

8 жыл бұрын

I hope so...

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

becky let him smash? :D

Dance, puppets!!

Pete you were ahead of your time. Please come back and give the world some more non-woke comedy. We need it more than ever.

I lie, I cheat, I steal but I never fake laugh fuck that.

Ha ha hAAAWWWAAAAA!! I’m dead. Dead.

What does toss the frizz mean??

Nice monologue

Methinks you would love playing The Sims

@calviincalifornia4048

5 жыл бұрын

build pool, family enters pool, build walls on pool, family drowns, sell house. move on.

the illuminati is watching this video and wringing its hands like mad. *he's telling everyone! *he's telling everyone!!!

Why's this guy Bo Burnham's Dad?

Tap 4 for some fun.

I'm a comic and god,I can relate so hard

haha... yeah

Small wonder! 😂😂

Es genial! ^_^

I can tell by Pete’s cadence that he’s trying to be funny...

Lol

pete ur amazing.... hahaha

Hey Pete.... Nah seriously everyone said it okay. Like a lot of people. Yeah about the dress up man. You should be trying and can wear however you want to wear stuffs. Just please dont put a horse's Pepe into a cows wewe. Please dress like a grown up man.

Stick to Badman