“In her eyes I’m an adult and adults rape each other” lmaoo I felt that

@amariboxill9033

4 жыл бұрын

"kind of a lot" killed me

@jamesflick668

4 жыл бұрын

@Music is life amazing

@RealGrayKnight

4 жыл бұрын

F e l t

@melosgllareva8631

4 жыл бұрын

I hope not

@scp--297

4 жыл бұрын

😂

"I am homeless, I am gay, I have Aids, I am new in town" is essentially the plot the the musical Falsettos

@scout802

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@bulldoggirl3008

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my god 😂

@Alison.taylor.c

4 жыл бұрын

or Rent

@el-zs4mh

4 жыл бұрын

IM SCREAMING

@katrina7679

4 жыл бұрын

@@Alison.taylor.c I was just about to also say Rent lol

I'm glad he's going to rehab. I'd be damned if we lost someone like this so early.

@u3u_o3o

3 жыл бұрын

rehab for what?

@samanthaearle420

3 жыл бұрын

@@u3u_o3o coke and alcohol i believe

@princesspeasant4536

3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad he's seeking help and bettering himself. Hope to see him pick himself up soon.

@herculesbrofister265

3 жыл бұрын

i was hoping he was joking about the severe blackouts, guess not.

@billybutcher4995

3 жыл бұрын

@@herculesbrofister265 Nah his bit abt having major blackouts is true. He was a heavy drinker in his early 20’s.

It's sooo sad hearing him talk about quitting alcohol knowing he relapsed a week ago. I wish him strength to beat his addiction.

@kerrynhopkinson2478

3 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing 🤍 I really hope he's doing alright 🥺

@luisegene2023

3 жыл бұрын

He relapsed?!?!?!?

@Bronnybronny

3 жыл бұрын

Quarantine is hurting more people than helping them. 100% you should research it. Suicide is really bad too

@kumarabhishek1500

3 жыл бұрын

Omg I really hope he is ok now 🥺💖

@hellontherockswithatwist2748

3 жыл бұрын

@@luisegene2023 He did but he checked himself into a 60-day rehab

john mulaney blacking out each time he drinks was his brain’s version of “aight imma head out”

@CelesticCF

4 жыл бұрын

First thing I thought of

@meredithfalls2270

4 жыл бұрын

Fun fact: spongebob is actually sitting down in the frame that that meme was made from

@Ryniano

4 жыл бұрын

Tf is your profile pic?

@arrenregretsnothing5776

4 жыл бұрын

if i get one more comment on my profile picture on any other video i will CRY 🥺 it’s mouth and that’s that

@Ryniano

4 жыл бұрын

arren regrets nothing theres also like parasites in the mouth and fungus on the lips

"then i go to the Delta help desk which is an oxymoron" That was such an underrated line

@TamannaDas

4 жыл бұрын

Fr

@ohad.5890

4 жыл бұрын

I don't get it?

@skysmindgarden

4 жыл бұрын

@@ohad.5890 an oxymoron is when to contradictory statements are put in the same sentence, e.g. "cruel kindness". Delta airlines are so unhelpful, but they have a help desk. Your welcome

@ohad.5890

4 жыл бұрын

@@skysmindgarden Thank you man :)

@gabriellapatino2401

4 жыл бұрын

1000 like

"I'm very gay, I'd like a few dollars," The number of times I've used this line is ridiculous

The punchline after the airlines skit was cut! He says “traveling alone is a nightmare. But when I’m with my girlfriend, the story is a lot shorter. she’s like “we should travel southwest.”

@Stoned_Loki

3 жыл бұрын

Doesnt he also go "and I'm like yeahhhhhhhhhh"

@zrc1514

2 жыл бұрын

@@Stoned_Loki He says "So it's better"

“john mulaney in normal clothes can’t hurt you” *john mulaney in normal clothes:* 👱‍♂️ 👕🔪 👖 👞👞

@genericm.2279

4 жыл бұрын

Why does he have 4 shoes

@victoriatube159

4 жыл бұрын

@@genericm.2279 the emoji varies from one shoe to two shoes depending on your OS.

@ezelfrancisco1349

4 жыл бұрын

You need to throw money with a moneyclip on it

@blip_blop6777

4 жыл бұрын

althea that emoji has remarkably feminine hips

@starsanimations1107

4 жыл бұрын

.....👨...... 👉 👔 👉 👖 👞👞

I wish John Mulaney lived for a thousand years, just so every mundane experience or moment in history could be viewed from his eyes.

@jacovawernett3077

4 жыл бұрын

Amen

@TitanFrost

4 жыл бұрын

You say that like he isn't an immortal being who has watched over humans since the dawn of man.

@nationofrizzlam

4 жыл бұрын

"You might ask, what happened to that Julius Caesar guy? Well audience, I'll tell you. On the Ides of March, all of the people who were supposed to be his friends gathered, and fucking stabbed him! It'd be like if you were living with your parents, and they held a surprise party for you, everyone who saw you grow up was there... and then they all stabbed you!" Not my best writing.

@jacovawernett3077

4 жыл бұрын

I was born March 11...

@jacovawernett3077

4 жыл бұрын

I am the wick on candles...

I, FOR ONE, AM VERY GLAD OUR TALL CHILD IS GETTING SOME REST.

@beek.4860

3 жыл бұрын

he can't keep burning the candle at both ends!

@simonfea2

Жыл бұрын

He has his own tall child now, isnt that interesting? I wonder if his son will know his own father? Will John impart his knowledge of the dangers of second locations to Malcolm?

@beek.4860

Жыл бұрын

@@simonfea2 someday in a few years John will pull into a McDonald's and order one black coffee and the cycle will be completed

The amount of serotonin this man gives me is insane

@mossvideos8460

3 жыл бұрын

I watch when I'm sad

@DarkAnimusSB

11 күн бұрын

i come back to this vid every few years and i know it all by heart. its really such a great compilation

Seeing John Mulaney without a suit on is like seeing your teacher on a weekend

@NinjaPanda-dt3ye

4 жыл бұрын

So true

@thereisalwaysarainbowafter1364

4 жыл бұрын

Yeaahhhh

@tranquilrabies

4 жыл бұрын

At the grocery store like a normal person who shops! Too weird!

@ME-bd3ut

4 жыл бұрын

One of my teachers wears a suit in his daily life...

@margaritam.9118

4 жыл бұрын

It’s like seeing your teacher naked. Super wrong.

Seeing his arms makes me feel like a Victorian man who just witnessed a woman lifting up her dress to reveal an ankle...

@Anonymous_Guest

3 жыл бұрын

That, Good Sir, Is An Amazing Analogy.

@Jadorelainie

3 жыл бұрын

Lissteeeeeen, the accuracy!

@faesforest

3 жыл бұрын

What beldam flaunts her assets so freely and without a cautious air?! Blasphemy!

@Nazoirr

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my too accurate

@alexia3552

3 жыл бұрын

You said it you said the thing

"Can I please go home on an airplane?" "Noooo, in fact, we're going to frame you for murder..." gets me every time.

"She must hear the train coming!" _Sprints after her in the empty, dark, ominous tunnelway to the edge of the subway._

Therapist: It's okay John Mulaney without a suit isn't real he can't hurt you John Mulaney without a suit:

@AsdfghjkL-lv6kb

3 жыл бұрын

Let’s be honest, John could never hurt anyone. He would probably end up hurting himself

@jamietheangryoctopus5938

3 жыл бұрын

@@AsdfghjkL-lv6kb I hear no lies here

@nordicfalcon

3 жыл бұрын

@@AsdfghjkL-lv6kb He did hurt himself. He had relapsed into alcohol a couple months ago. He checked himself into rehab for 2 months. He should be out or about to get out.

@denkikaminari7894

2 жыл бұрын

@@AsdfghjkL-lv6kb true

I never realized this man was not born in a suit.

@skimmy3022

4 жыл бұрын

run me over with your car he was born in his “birthday suit”

@Baphelon

4 жыл бұрын

aside from the last bit it looked like he almost evolved into the suit

@smitra5901

4 жыл бұрын

He is basically Barney in IRL. You just can't imagine him without his suit.

@erinmcneilly7452

4 жыл бұрын

run me over with your car it was just his first communion 😂

@madyjules

4 жыл бұрын

🤣

I’m glad drew gooden finally got the attention he deserved

@_bee7627

3 жыл бұрын

LMAOO OMS

@Rebecca-zq5ry

3 жыл бұрын

What are you talking about? That is obviously Danny Gonzalez.

@blueberrycurrents

3 жыл бұрын

@@Rebecca-zq5ry who? Arnt they the same person?

@charadefae

3 жыл бұрын

danny gonzalez and drew gooden are both just john mulaney moving very fast

@blueberrycurrents

3 жыл бұрын

@@charadefae they are big speedy men

The way he says "ima push him" has me in tears. "Hey im very gay give me a few dollars" fuckin same

It’s always people that look like John Mulaney who end up being the craziest partiers. Unassuming, looks very normal, those are the guys that end up in a different state after a night of partying

@uppercrustgaming4295

4 жыл бұрын

^me

@muniapolis287

4 жыл бұрын

I have a friend that looks like him & as a person she's a lot like him; intelligent & sarcastic. She herself agrees

@lumenjoslin4301

4 жыл бұрын

My theatre teacher looks like him and he's said such gems as "I'm gonna light you on fire and roll you down a hill."

@Ihatethewaythatyou

4 жыл бұрын

@@lumenjoslin4301 this is inception rite here...

@newt1348

4 жыл бұрын

Drew Gooden

I don't think anything has made me laugh harder than the story about 10 year old Mulaney telling his father he's going to vote democrat and his father telling him "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair"

@alexinwonderland5782

4 жыл бұрын

same, i don’t think i’ve related to a John Mulaney clip more than that one 😅

@samantharau9687

4 жыл бұрын

You know how you talk to a child?

@brandonlarimore5223

4 жыл бұрын

I definitely love this one, but nothing makes me laugh more than one black coffee

@sarahjeanwinkler2540

4 жыл бұрын

Where can I find this on youtube

@janedoe-vu9mp

4 жыл бұрын

and that’s on black coffee

i feel like i shouldn’t be watching john unless he has a suit on

@rils

3 жыл бұрын

It’s like seeing someone nude

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

Why

@zoeedmonson1396

3 жыл бұрын

@@jonhmulaney119 bc he wears suits all the time now. it’s just his thing i guess.

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

@@zoeedmonson1396 yes just because of what is going on

Isn't this the voice actor of spider pig from SpiderMan into the spider verse?

@balaramanan111

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@terra_the_nightingale135

3 жыл бұрын

That’s him

@vigglewiggle5396

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@YouveBeenMegged

2 жыл бұрын

Yep, he’s Peter Porker!

When he's not in fancy clothes, I can definitely see how he's a tall child burning the candle at both ends.

@parkerashe6859

3 жыл бұрын

I fucking love your profile picture btw

@JustAWorms

3 жыл бұрын

@@parkerashe6859 me too c:

@williamlucente2599

3 жыл бұрын

Trans Doofenshmirtz ❤️

@12gauge_shawtyy

3 жыл бұрын

love ur pfp uwu

@rcaygumicabk8072

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah he's tall and then when pete is remotely close to him he becomes a kid

John Mulaney Talks Like Capitalising The First Letter Of Every Word

@RandomGirl759

4 жыл бұрын

I read this with his voice hahaha

@millicentbystander4502

4 жыл бұрын

He Really Does. Wow, I Honestly Didn't Realize That For A Second

@Splox5

4 жыл бұрын

And It Works

@nightpool42

4 жыл бұрын

kanaya and john mulaney kin each other

@elumi0

4 жыл бұрын

nightpool YES

he’s gotten so dang good. I saw him many many years ago in a tiny club & knew he make it big, if he kept it up. he looked like he was 12 back then, instead of his current 19.

@YouveBeenMegged

2 жыл бұрын

GET SOME REST, TALL CHILD!

I love how he mentions his fear of being kidnapped and then like 10 years later, we found out where it came from. Goddamn JJ Bittenbinder.

oh to be lucy, age 13 and have john mulaney walk you through a murder trial

@sage6737

3 жыл бұрын

Me when I started watching buzzfeed unsolved and listening to true crime podcasts lol

@vincegonzalez2171

3 жыл бұрын

"I know you all know it, I'm telling Lucy!"

@quagernag

3 жыл бұрын

I’d listen John telling me the tales of most heinous crimes in details with smile on my face. Actually would be very entertaining.

@skineater0

3 жыл бұрын

This makes a lot more sense after watching the video

@squash_gurl7874

3 жыл бұрын

@Lucy I have the same name and agent too :P

Imagine being Lucy, a 13 year old girl who just expected to see a guy make some jokes for an hour but ended up being told about the OJ case exclusively for like 3 minutes

@aa1bb2cc3dd4

3 жыл бұрын

did you see her eyes though? She was lost in his voice lol I bet she didn't hear a damn thing he said

@helloZ

3 жыл бұрын

@@aa1bb2cc3dd4 she's 13?

@aa1bb2cc3dd4

3 жыл бұрын

@@helloZ are you going to call me sick for saying what I said? That would make you naive as hell.

@arieldoesntloveyou

3 жыл бұрын

ThatWingedGirl im thirteen and I would be lost in his voice

@baconyos5871

3 жыл бұрын

EyeInTheSky no, they’re gonna want to know if she’s 13 because you kinda didn’t answer

Wishing him a healthy recovery, we support you John!

3:18 I love how he makes a non-offensive joke about native-Americans it’s refreshing from other offensive comedies. Gotta love John molaney (btw I’m native-American)

@feenix9354

3 жыл бұрын

*mulaney

I love how he doesn't even address why a 13-year-old is at a comedy club or change his language at all. A refreshing difference from most comedians and made the OJ stuff even funnier.

@ArtemisScribe

4 жыл бұрын

I mean did you hear the kind of things his parents took him to? A Frank Sinatra concert and a Clinton fundraiser, Lucy is having what John would probably consider a fairly normal childhood experience here.

@potmki6601

4 жыл бұрын

Brittany Bennett I guess I'm with John and Lucy childhood experience-wise, because idk where is a "fault" here

@BubblegumLightsaber

4 жыл бұрын

I saw him in Portland last December and there was a seven-year-old girl in the front row (presumably with her parents, but I didn't actually see her directly) that he noticed and spent like a quarter of the show interacting with. It was adorable.

@gretadavis8615

4 жыл бұрын

“Perfect age” lol, very cute interaction

@koejuntz9863

4 жыл бұрын

Where was the comedy club this happened at

John: *drinks alcohol* His brain: ight imma head out

@natalierudnick8487

3 жыл бұрын

this aged nicely ☹️

@julesis-dead6751

3 жыл бұрын

@@natalierudnick8487 wait what did he relapse or something?

@natalierudnick8487

3 жыл бұрын

Mr. Big Large Sweaty Big Boy yeah he did :( he checked himself into rehab in like the middle of december

@julesis-dead6751

3 жыл бұрын

@@natalierudnick8487 that’s so sad, but I’m glad he’s getting the help he needs

@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access

3 жыл бұрын

@@julesis-dead6751 He had a really bad interview on a show where he was blasted. But at least he’s aware of it now.

John talking about his alcoholism hits different now. Hope he’s doing okay ♥️

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for asking

Oof that blackout one hit hard after hearing he just put himself in rehab

@nickjames8377

3 жыл бұрын

@@fritzmuehlbauer9041 how so?

@nickjames8377

3 жыл бұрын

@@fritzmuehlbauer9041 ok but if oof is a way of expressing sympathetic discomfort then how is it innapropriate?

@kingofgrim4761

3 жыл бұрын

@@fritzmuehlbauer9041 dude what is wrong with you LMAO

@kingofgrim4761

3 жыл бұрын

@@nickjames8377 ignore him

@nickjames8377

3 жыл бұрын

@@kingofgrim4761 noted

What I personally love about Mulaney is that he always looks uncomfortable.

@enemiestoaster

4 жыл бұрын

@Brittany Bennett No.

@scat1544

4 жыл бұрын

THATS WHAT IT IS. I love him and his comedy but I could never figure out what it was.

@coffe4meplz

4 жыл бұрын

it's because he has anxiety

@nyah258

4 жыл бұрын

so do i

@hadleelandis553

4 жыл бұрын

What can I say he’s been nervous his whole life

"I don't wanna name a real airline so let's make one up...Delta Airline." Me: **googles Delta Airline** "ITS REALL"

“Didn’t he practice in the mirror” No John, he’s homeless what mirror would he practice in front of.

@Alexi-Raener93

3 жыл бұрын

McDonald's bathroom mirror 👀

@YouveBeenMegged

2 жыл бұрын

Idk, public restroom I guess

@InMintCondition13

2 жыл бұрын

The window of the closest retail or convenience store.

@moonlightcorner1511

2 жыл бұрын

a car rear mirror

The build from Anna being his girlfriend to his wife is my favorite development of his comedy

@nyah258

4 жыл бұрын

Mia Rue RIGHT

@themilkman3569

4 жыл бұрын

And That’s my wife!

@skygod973

4 жыл бұрын

No one like

@lilyg4206

4 жыл бұрын

Skygod learn how to spell correctly then come back

@ilemraz

4 жыл бұрын

@@lilyg4206 dude all those words were spelled correctly. Neither you nor i can just understand what it meant.

"This guy killed 3 people. And yet you'll watch it, young lady, and you'll go, 'I like this guy'" is legit the entire Sherlock fandom talking about Moriarty.

@tonystarkissadspecial6852

3 жыл бұрын

The SHERLOCK FANDOM IS STILL ALIVE

@nataliadams4361

3 жыл бұрын

That's very VERY true

@jojoxd4342

3 жыл бұрын

That is very obvious. I mean, rumors are rumors but we have to take evrry chance we can get to get new episodes

@cassgray9340

3 жыл бұрын

@@tonystarkissadspecial6852 your name is amazing

@tonystarkissadspecial6852

3 жыл бұрын

@@cassgray9340 cass gray your name sounds like the lullaby of a beautifully haunted poet . And thank you

Crazy seeing this now after he just got admitted to rehab for hard drugs and alcohol.

@shitforbrains6733

3 жыл бұрын

Coke isnt hard drugs man

@Kakorrhaphiophobe

3 жыл бұрын

@@shitforbrains6733 cocaine *ISN’T* hard drugs???

@natalierudnick8487

3 жыл бұрын

Shit for Brains omg ur so quirky!!!!

@beek.4860

3 жыл бұрын

im just glad hes getting help, he's the one man i would not feel threatened by if i saw him in a train station at 2 AM and i love him

@cassgray9340

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I was thinking a bit about that. I was just hoping that he knows that he doesn’t have to joke about everything, and that his struggles are valid and understandably difficult. I heard that he was the one who admitted himself, which is a very positive and courageous step that should be commended. That’s difficult to do. I just hope that he takes his time to focus on himself and his mental and physical health, and that he gets all the help that he needs. Addiction is very difficult thing for a person to experience. My cousin went through it for a long time - not that it ever really stops being a part of you, you always have the addiction - but now he’s clean, he got help and attended a career camp. Now he’s in training for a career as a trucker :-) I’m very proud of him.

The way he just explains the OJ case to Lucy and she's just awkwardly sitting there like 😃

John Mulaney Comedy Techniques: 1. Inhabiting characters / actions of the story 2. Changing tonality 3. Sarcasm 4. Pausing for comedic effect

@cryingthrowingup4256

4 жыл бұрын

5. his expressions

@d0xter742

4 жыл бұрын

this is what every comedian does. inflection, acting, and timing

@lupojw6566

4 жыл бұрын

@@d0xter742 he just does it better

@theonlyjoe_

4 жыл бұрын

That’s like base level comedy techniques

@kh0357

4 жыл бұрын

but he’s the greatest to do it

i really hope he’s doing alright

I love his voice, his voice makes his jokes 10x funnier

“iM A LItTle fAT giRl”

@Spooky_Knight

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@madsvl2120

4 жыл бұрын

iconic

@lysandragrace5199

4 жыл бұрын

I choked WTH!

it’s so weird seeing him perform in normal clothes and not a suit

@hannahbowman5771

4 жыл бұрын

Alex Carey omfg that’s what’s been bothering me about this.

@commaJim

4 жыл бұрын

His best stand-up bit (or my favorite, I guess) he did in a hoodie! The Top Part

@frostyflames7864

4 жыл бұрын

Kid Gorgeous > Kid Presentable

@claire-yn2zi

4 жыл бұрын

I agree, he is usually rather smartly dressed. No matter what, I love Mulaney. Such a funny guy!

@dreamcatcher2960

4 жыл бұрын

He looks like Grant Gustin in normal clothes!

John Mulaney has influenced too much of my humour. My girlfriend and I were driving a friend home and her friend jokingly said "Ha, don't kidnap me" and I deadpanned "That's abduction, you're an adult."

It's hard to believe he had so many drugs in him. He's just as funny, actually funnier without them. We love you JM stay sober.

imagine being able to say that john mulaney chased you in a subway station at 2 am

@jayb2436

4 жыл бұрын

D Marie creepiest but the most cutest thing ever I low key even though in 13 have a crush on him

@kelxy4105

4 жыл бұрын

Jay Kitty I feel you he’s a solid 11/10 one extra point for his feminine hips

@Amylisette74

4 жыл бұрын

I would chase him back lol

@chikinonfrydai

4 жыл бұрын

Amy Bonilla Then you and John Mulaney would collide and you would both have a headache and it wouldn’t be fun for either of you.

@kelxy4105

4 жыл бұрын

ChikinOnFrydai no that’d be even better to collide it’d be like a dumb anime Romance plot

I have the whole "Delta Airlines" skit memorized someone help me

@ZaxorVonSkyler

4 жыл бұрын

Same!

@ixzbxy3071

4 жыл бұрын

it’s okay, i’m sure most of us do

@IrvingIV

3 жыл бұрын

Now memorize this. kzread.info/dash/bejne/q2eKtLqPptWciLg.html

@pollypockets508

3 жыл бұрын

It's ok. You could have memorized something much worse. Lol

@gemsdirtykitchen3658

3 жыл бұрын

I would love to help but it seems like one person skit. You will have to perform alone I'm afraid... good luck, tho.

6:13 *_I have AAAAAIDS_* no that's _too strong_

Hearing John Mulaney say “my girlfriend” instead of “my wife” is really weird

@gwendalynnwatkins1296

3 жыл бұрын

"That's my wife!"

@tyroland06

3 жыл бұрын

"Can *my girlfriend* come?"

@landolfthegray

3 жыл бұрын

Belle Soares 1000th like

@iansalvatore990

3 жыл бұрын

I DIDN'T MURDER MY WIFE

@noamsivan8369

3 жыл бұрын

is the jewish girl his wife now?

“Let’s just make an airline up let’s see- DELTA. Delta Airlines.”

Ben Shapiro: my wife is a doctor John Mulaney: my wife is like a lawyer

no one: me adding a rainbow bandanna to any outfit: ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɢᴀʏ

@aly5s1a

2 жыл бұрын

I just checked out you're content t and you're hella underrated! Consider me subbed fellow marvel fan

@vigilantesam

2 жыл бұрын

@@aly5s1a thanks!!!

He became more and more formal in his appearance over the years

@isaacj.elliott2137

4 жыл бұрын

Shubhangi that’s an observation 👏👏

@NandR

4 жыл бұрын

And less Asian...

@UnknowingMan1

4 жыл бұрын

I have a feeling the next special he’s going to have a penny coat, top hat, and mutton chops for the ultimate gentleman look

@zackbrosky9008

4 жыл бұрын

He said in an interview with Tan France that dressing like everyone else didnt feel like they were spending their money on something special.

@reen4450

4 жыл бұрын

He joked that he was becoming more like his mom in New in Town but in a more recent interview he said he's realized he became his dad. "Weird and formal" is how he describes his dad in the special and i think alot of people would describe him the same way (which isnt a bad thing tbh. It fits him.)

"i walk and i say hello. no, thats too *subtle,* I'mma *push* him. I'mma *push* him. I'm gonna say I'm *new in town.* no no, hold back, hold back. save it. *build* to that. I'mma walk up to him, I'mma *push* him. I go, *I have aiiiids.* no, that's *too* strong. I'mma walk up to him, I'mma *push* him. i will start with the fact that i am *homeless.* as that is a *given.* then for *backstory,* I will *pepper* in the fact that i am *gay.-"

@adriankormier8952

4 жыл бұрын

The more he did the push the funnier it was hahaha.

@Brendonmakesmesmile

4 жыл бұрын

it's still so weird to hear an entirely different voice coming out of his mouth

@llathem2212

4 жыл бұрын

You’re very well versed in explaining John M.

@NeonAtary777

4 жыл бұрын

So good

@aaronharris1092

4 жыл бұрын

I'mma PHush 'im.

Who else is watching this while he’s in rehab 🙃😪

@beek.4860

3 жыл бұрын

lol people are talking about him like he's dead

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

What do you think you are saying

in the beginning he makes jokes about his alcoholism and made everyone cheer, when really, the audience is unknowingly applauding his problem :/ lots of love to John in rehab ❤️

This man radiates absolute chaotic energy and it scares me Edit: oh damn 13k likes??? Wtfff

@hameedahettu8266

4 жыл бұрын

And wields it with an intense focus

@merideth4342

4 жыл бұрын

He burns the candle at both ends

@wayverleesoulsong

4 жыл бұрын

Charlotte Brodie you should be

@TheMoezilla

4 жыл бұрын

It's been my experience that the calmest people are the ones you should be watching out for...

@cringe_homestuck_fan3703

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine him, at three am, in a train station, and he just starts getting faster and faster matching your pace, you run then he just sprints towards you

The blacking out from alcohol plainly dressed bad haircut John, finally makes sense to me how is he friends with Pete Davidson

@butteredchocolate

4 жыл бұрын

There's 666 likes and I'm not gonna take it. 667th like, babey

@lunarballoonistxo

3 жыл бұрын

Every dark haired actor had this hair cut in 2005

@cryspbacon

3 жыл бұрын

pete is so much more far off but there is still hope for him 😂

@kareninalabama

3 жыл бұрын

Glad to hear all he ended up with as the result of a blackout was a bloody knee. Could've been like the guy in Ga. who blacked out while driving home from the bar with his best friend in the passenger seat. The next morning, sitting in the passenger seat of the guy's truck was the headless body of his best friend. Apparently, the friend leaned his head out of the window on the way home, and his friend drove too close to a telephone pole guy wire, decapitating his friend. He didn't even know what happened until the next day, when a neighbor found his friend's body still sitting in the truck. THAT is a bad blackout.

@lindaraab4626

3 жыл бұрын

i blacked out at the end of the school year party of 9th grade and woke up naked in my own bed with a huge bruise and some minor cuts and i was like?? what happened?? i walked upstairs and my parents were like :)) what do you remember?

Saw a tweet hoping he was doing okay. I was reading the replies and I just suddenly burst into tears. So I'm here. I hope he's doing well in rehab.

Get better soon, man. Drugs are a bitch

I love how he thought the homeless guy had a mirror to practice in.

@678crazydave

4 жыл бұрын

Shard of glass, puddle, car window, etc..

@aileenbby

4 жыл бұрын

David Carter starbucks public bathroom jejsndbsjan

@pixiebells

4 жыл бұрын

I thought of that too. Maybe a mirror in his local burger joint or gas station?

@aidanmuller3358

4 жыл бұрын

A store window

@nanami9617

4 жыл бұрын

Yes ofcourse he thought the guy had a mirror, just like he thought he most definitely practiced his pitch idea. -.-

all dislikes are from Delta Airlines

@fsktnnkmobile7370

4 жыл бұрын

I had to dislike this comment I am delta airlines

@bgreaud

4 жыл бұрын

I was just wondering how Delta's PR staff felt about this. It actually makes me want to play that clip while waiting on them!

@bunhime9903

4 жыл бұрын

And one from Detective J.J. Bittenbinder

@BeppyCat

4 жыл бұрын

"Thank you!"

@wholewheat5160

4 жыл бұрын

Some of them are the scooters in DC

Spider-Man after ffh: Can I please have a break from all this superhero stuff? Marvel: 9:50

@DragonSpiderproductions

2 жыл бұрын

I mean not wrong

Mulaney: "Adults rape each other" The Crowd: Whoooo! *claps*

"I am homeless, I am gay, I have aids, and I'm new in town." Did you mean: *Falsettos the musical*

@cherrytreat

3 жыл бұрын

These comments are making me wanna listen to Falsettos and I'm scared by that-

@katpastelle7389

3 жыл бұрын

Tbh I got Rent vibes

@ElinorMahoney

3 жыл бұрын

Trina: *loud sobbing*

@terra_the_nightingale135

3 жыл бұрын

Kat Pastelle Today 4 U

@terra_the_nightingale135

3 жыл бұрын

Cherry Treat I’m pretty sure one of the songs starts with “4 Jews in a room bitching”

I can’t believe someone booed him for making a healthy life decision lol

@kevinsmith4741

4 жыл бұрын

Bluestarfan10 “I’m not slap happy about it either! Booing at me!” 😂

@SabrinaRina

4 жыл бұрын

Not just that. It's like the one thing that makes no judgment or impact to others. Even being vegetarian comes with suggestion you think others should be too. But no more alcohol is almost always about having a problem personally or just wanting better health. Like if they booed him for saying "so I was talking to my healthcare provider..." 😕😤

@caramelrhapsodyjesseslife

4 жыл бұрын

I took a break from drinking years ago and all of my "friends" stopped hanging out with me.

@tsinlao750

4 жыл бұрын

Has you done the "life" much?. Common.

@gucciasalways

4 жыл бұрын

Booo you went to a healthcare provider. Stop giving a shit about your personal livelihood 😷

this man is british but he just didn't realize yet

John Mulaney explaining the OJ case is the best thing ever

His joke about waking up with more money hits very close to home. I once woke up the next morning with candle wax all down my front and a twenty dollar bill folded into my waistband, and I'll never solve that mystery.

@antijess1121

4 жыл бұрын

Kiko Cassette solved it

@haileyadkins8412

4 жыл бұрын

yikes

@nfgatorgal

4 жыл бұрын

LOL 😂

@hunterchewning6725

4 жыл бұрын

You sure it was candle wax?

@artrijkrst_6751

4 жыл бұрын

@@hunterchewning6725 oH

"OH.......... she must hear the TRAIN COMING."

@GeshTorres

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@Felix-xw6du

3 жыл бұрын

OO yes I had one of those moments where someone said the thing while I’m reading the comment

@setitonfire5132

3 жыл бұрын

@@Felix-xw6du same

@MJHootHoot

3 жыл бұрын

I’m a little boy! 🤣

Kinda sad he was talking about being sober and now he’s in rehab :(

The evolution from a sorta normal-ish to his now iconic talking accent voice is amazing to watch. I hope he gets well both mentally and physically soon🥺

Can't believe 13-year-old Lucy & her friends didn’t bully John for having feminine hips.

@melodyrose9692

3 жыл бұрын

HEY THATS WHAT HES SENSITIVE ABOUT

@teecee7268

3 жыл бұрын

I cross the street when I run into 13 year olds 🤷🏼‍♀️

@scarlett6800

3 жыл бұрын

@@teecee7268 same im 14 and some of my own kind is super intimidating.

@Flamingaaa

3 жыл бұрын

@@scarlett6800 hey. Im a 13 year old August 2021 Edit: im 14 now

@scarlett6800

3 жыл бұрын

@@Flamingaaa Hi!

every john mulaney video in the comments: HE'S GOT FEMININE HIPS

@taylorgreen9929

4 жыл бұрын

Also, Asian woman

@melannabelle4420

4 жыл бұрын

NO THATS THE THING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT!!!

@Finn-ky1qx

4 жыл бұрын

NOO THAT’S THE THING HE’S SENSITIVE ABOUT

@turboshellllc5876

4 жыл бұрын

He's high wasted.

@htwwht41813

4 жыл бұрын

he's a tall child that looks terrible cause he needs some sleep; he can't keep burning the candle at both ends

i love when comedians just have a normal conversation with one random audience member

@ChaseVaccaro-ge3gk

10 ай бұрын

It's got a name. It's called crowd work.

i have never heard of this guy. he had me in tears. life saved me from the knowledge of him for this exact moment when i needed laughter the most. thanks john

john: thirteen year olds are the meanest people also john: 13? perfect age

Did I just see John Mulaney content I’d never seen before? Wild.

@FrankyBabes

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly my reaction. Totally amazed and pleasantly surprised

@Weirwood256

4 жыл бұрын

That Gotham set is a rare bird

@skylamoreno

4 жыл бұрын

Anthony Byaruhanga it’s on Spotify! It’s rlly awesome! Love it :)

@miapatricia8778

4 жыл бұрын

MEE

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

Really thanks for keep liking my page

My personal headcanon is that in John Mulaney's spare time he pretends to be a KZread commenter named Drew Gooden

9:44 "I go over to the Delta help desk, which is an oxymoron" not enough people laughed here

Never thought I’d see a Mulaney video so old that he was wearing Etnies.

@rewrite5133

4 жыл бұрын

@RUhere4the TRIGGERING They're just not extremely popular anymore

@rewrite5133

4 жыл бұрын

@RUhere4the TRIGGERING That doesn't really relate to this

@PolythenePam0451

4 жыл бұрын

@Stop the BS what does this mean?

@PolythenePam0451

4 жыл бұрын

@Stop the BS Ah, nothing says female member of society than tight jeans.

@jillleebean6327

4 жыл бұрын

Stop the BS are you good

6:35 “Then for backstory I will pepperinthefactthatiamgay”

@cryingthrowingup4256

4 жыл бұрын

me

@kailynthompson8693

4 жыл бұрын

I just start with that. The rest is backstory XD

“That dead end shuffle that women do- ya know when you’re chasing them” 💀

Seeing just a part of John's upper arms makes me feel like one of those high school boys distracted by female shoulders.

@libbyc4302

4 жыл бұрын

_mb_r omg someone put it into words thank u 🙏🏻

@kbt1771

4 жыл бұрын

Wait...boys get distracted by female shoulders?

@AmberLF

4 жыл бұрын

@@kbt1771 apparently 🤷🏽‍♀️

@libbyc4302

4 жыл бұрын

@@kbt1771 many school policies don't allow shoulders to be exposed. quite a lot have claimed the reasoning to be that it is "distracting" to the male students. (it's a bullshit rhetoric to police women and girl's bodies)

@TheAkumuKing

3 жыл бұрын

How about being distracted by his feminine hips

"I peed regular" is honestly one of the funniest things he's ever said.

@melaniebudd3616

4 жыл бұрын

999th like 😂

I will always hear the new in town joke and still laugh uncontrollably

I didn’t know Mick Jagger worked at the airport 9:32

@greythomas6199

2 жыл бұрын

NOT FUNNY

Seeing John Mulaney not dressed like a 1940’s news anchor is so trippy

"i was just shiny and dumb and easy to trick" me. all day. every day.

@MissBophaLokei

3 жыл бұрын

saaaame!

@katiee4396

4 ай бұрын

I always feel called out when he says that line

I just hope he’s doing okay

Rooting for him and wishing him a good recovery! Love you john!!

John Mulaney riffing with a thirteen year old is what makes him so great. That was some of the best comedy I have seen.

@ShadowLegend300

3 жыл бұрын

About the OJ trial no less hahaha

@mommychrysler

3 жыл бұрын

@@ShadowLegend300 e

It’s crazy how he talks about his past and how he was a blackout drunk in his youth and then the first clip is “I quit drinking a few MONTHS ago”

@314rft

3 жыл бұрын

Well it's an old clip, also judging by how he's not in a suit and how the audience is smaller.

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

Really

@paigescarlett589

3 жыл бұрын

@@jonhmulaney119 I swear if I see a video soon that says “JoHn MuLanEy GoEs uNdeRcOveR oN tHe InTerNet”

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

Really my dear I hope you’re keeping watching my videos may god bless you

@jonhmulaney119

3 жыл бұрын

@@paigescarlett589 my dear you can Download if my dear

Oh to be a 13 year old girl named Lucy and have John Mulaney talk to you for a long time with direct eye contact

Get well soon, John!!!