Grateful to be here

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

👌🏼

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

@@flymech03 👌🏼

@smarteranna24

5 жыл бұрын

Grateful for this video!

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

@@smarteranna24 I'm grateful for your comment!

@smarteranna24

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames amazing honesty truly! Honesty is the battle we all have with ourselves tackle it!!

Appreciate the honesty. Now...do something about it. Coming up on 13 years,clean and sober myself. Cutting the bullshit, and being honest with yourself is a good start.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I hear ya Darryl, congrats on your continued sobriety

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames 💡

Sober and Honest will always triumph over Drunk and lying, regardless of a relapse.... Love the video

Much love from Africa bro ! We are with you.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

That means the world to me bro!

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames +

About 3 months ago, I found a bottle of what I think were adavan/valium..I ended up making up some bullshit reason to hold on to them....I came to my senses, and flushed them....theres actually a video of me doing this, on my channel. Called "a recovering addicts confession " Part 1&part 2 (My channel is still very amateur, and I'm trying to find my niche,)

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I enjoyed the girl stretching and forgetting she was streaming on your channel...although...she didn't forget😈

I am the girl. I am the girl my boyfriend left when he relapsed. The difference is ive enabled and even used with him. I am going through feelings of de estación and guilt as I was with him when the inevitable fall began. Now he’s disappeared and I don’t know where he is. This video is actually comforting to an extent as it helps me understand his mind and how I could avoid my part in the situation

I am so glad you have come this far and can recognize the signs The kids and I need you Come visit 😊

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Love ya sis💘

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames +

Dude. Go to a meeting now...7 years for me.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

I've been back since filming that video, I'm more active than ever. Thanks Janet!

Double up on meetings 90 in 90 keeep aa in the front seat everything eles in the back seat . Feeling and thoughts will pass , I have finally learned i Don’t have to act on my thoughts . My sponsor says he isn’t to concerned about how I’m feeling but what am I doing to keep sober there will for ever be issues every day . I also have a surgery coming up so you did help me too James you a good man with a positive message ! Left foot right foot!!!!!!

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Hell yeah brother, I need to hear that shit! Good luck with your surgery, left foot right foot!👣

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

+

I watched this show today and relapse mindfulness is really hard to know. It is sneaky.

I'm proud of you being forthright and honest about what's been going on with you. I've been waiting to see you on your channel. Stay strong stay focused and one day at a time. Promises come true I have faith you will come through this more resilient ☀ 🧚‍♀️❤🧚‍♀️

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I appreciateiate your sweet sentiments Rosemary, this means a lot. Now if I can only get over my addiction to the promises! 😄 jk

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

+

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames +

James..somehow ended up on one of your videos and wanted to see how you were doing with successive videos. Read the comments from your family, esp your Dad and immediately wished my Dad were here to hear me and listen to my life at the moment. You hold onto him and your family as that is all you have. Screw the room and the truck, Buddy..Family is all you have. Stay the course and thank you for being so honest with us. In a time in this world where honesty and opening up will allow folks to attack you, it was refreshing. May everyone that comments keep in mind that it could always be them. God has an amazing way that he works. Thank you, Brother, for these videos.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Thank YOU Bill, for this heartfelt comment, it means a lot! I hang with my dad almost daily, and I'm more active in AA than I've ever been! Thanks again!

Strong Video! Good Boy!

I can completely relate to this... I have noticed after some time without drink. I seem to get irritated and moody mainly after I think my future doesn’t seem worth while. But it’s stupid as the past year I have a job I enjoy and things are stable. I did loose a girlfriend through drink problems but she also had problems so not just my doing. Impulse buying to try and get my mood to a better place, being selfish only things that do me good I’m only interested in. I’m generally fit healthy person 70% of the time. And I know after mainly failed benders that drinking again is not the answer. It’s those strange feelings of oh it will be great again if I got wasted.. but do also feel like I can notice the triaits I have that may make me relapse so I won’t let it beat me.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you can relate uksteveee. It helps me to know I'm not alone

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

+

Helpful video. Hope that you are feeling better.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

All better now! Regular AA meetings was what I was missing!

You are speaking my truth. Expressing my pain. I dreamed last night that I was carrying a huge snapping turtle that kept biting me.

@SoberJames

5 ай бұрын

I have a reoccurring dream about animals, especially cats and raccoons, latching onto me and biting me. I had a nurse practitioner tell me that the animals represent my alcoholism.

Thank-you for sharing this...I think we need to be self focused to a certain degree in early sobriety. Relationships (as well as sometimes being a positive influence) can sometimes dilute that focus. My sponsor says we are expert manipulators... I know from my experience one of the most challenging things is to recognise self manipulation. Like Marco says "aa front seat"... Do service or more service...(maybe volunteer for the helpline). If my feelings and thoughts are unsettled I ask myself "Do you have another recovery left in you". If I'm honest, I think I know the answer. Sending love, peace, calm and serenity.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I'll take that love, peace, calm, and serenity...big time. Thanks Karen, I'm going to meetings whether I like it or not, I don't like the lack of peace and other things you mentioned in my life. +I manipulate my opinions to match what I want to do at the time, it's sick in hindsight.

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

+

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames 💡

Thank you man... Woke me up to an impending shit storm. 🙏🙏

@SoberJames

3 жыл бұрын

It happens. I host live stream recovery meetings at 9pmEST Mon and Thurs, and all past streams are available in my live stream playlist. I also host a 24/7 Discord Recovery Chat room and more: www.patreon.com/soberjames

This is fantastic!! This is a real honest thing to do. I admire you even more!! Keep up this good one. You have recognized the problem. I think that the Civid has made you feel this way, or at least it appears like that to me. Before you make a big decision about children or anything big, make yourself comfortable with yourself before you decide on way or the other. Carole

Hi James! Just discovered your channel. I could make this a long post but I’ll just say, thank you, And I think you know what I mean. We need a lot more of this!

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

PLM, I know EXACTLY what you mean, and thank you for taking the time to comment!

Always enjoy your videos James. Thanks for the insight and honesty

@SoberJames

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Jaimie!

Dang, close one

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

yep

@shunshineshellijones

2 жыл бұрын

Proud of you 👏!

So awesome that you can recognize this! Love to you

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Jacqueline! Love to you as well! ❤

I'm rooting for you here in South Africa bro. 82 days sober. Be a light in the world man, it's the only thing to be.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

82 days bro good for you! ✊ I'm rooting for you Sean!

Your Awesome !!! Thank you

So much strength in your honesty man.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I appreciate that Dan, I'd like to think so, but sometimes slip into doubt. Thanks for watching and commenting 📺

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

+

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames 💡

You got this! And you're helping me do this. Don't be too hard on yourself. We don't expect you to be perfect. Day 2 for me for nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. It was an interesting day physically. 😵 I'm OK though. Hope you are as well.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Christopher, and congratulations brother! I'm back in meetings and being of service, life is good...and getting better everyday! Hang in there, and thanks again✊

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in telling your story. This topic is something that ive not given much thought to. It is the msg that i really needed to hear at this time as it has prompted me to observe the precurser to my own relapse. Thanks again . stay strong brother

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Relapse is unfortunate, but also a learning opportunity. Thanks for sharing SR, all the best.

@selfreflect8171

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed

OMG! THANK YOU!!!!!

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

❤

Do something wholesome? By getting married and having kids? Get your head on straight! You thing you're lonely now, just wait until you have kids. Instead, get rid of that truck, minimise your life, go do something that you can live with but still not commit to being the hero or the fool. Start going to the family courts while you have time off and learn just how wholesome marriage really is.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Lol I hear ya dude, I ended it. But I'm not getting rid of the truck! VROOM VROOM

Thank u for this- I relapsed horrifically last month after finally getting 9mo and I’m still going thru pretty bad PAWS. I saw it coming in hindsight and did nothing to stop it- in denial. I feel this so hard! I pray u get over the hump alcohol free🙏 This relapse set me back months!

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

I feel you Heather, we all do. The most important, and amazing opportunity is...you get to see the cunning, baffling, and powerful ways it creeps in. This takes the power from it, it allows the light of awareness to render it forever detectable for next time. This is one of the reasons why they say "relapse can be part of recovery." Congrats on acknowledging more truth. Truth is freedom!

@heathermariearmbrust

5 жыл бұрын

Then Came Sober James agree 1000%- I’ve learned greatly from it. It revealed more of what I need to know.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

@@heathermariearmbrust 😊

You are a special person.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks! ❤

Have you seen some "Doc snipes" addiction and recovery, and many other psychological topics she covers (for like an hour)? Breaks some concepts down for everybody (for review or otherwise).

Hard to say it was a Relapse when administered by a hospital staff.. That’s a tough one. We all rooting for you here in recovering quick from the surgery! *insert massive flailing foam finger*

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Dang Jordan, thanks a lot brother!

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I'm more concerned with how little objection I had to the drugs. I mean, when he did dilaudid, my poker face didn't even stand a chance! 😂 Jk, thanks for the support Jordan

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

+

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames +

Keep on keepin on

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

+1

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

👌🏼

@flymech03

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames 💡

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

@@flymech03 😊

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@flymech03 +

Thank you for your honesty. I have had similar issues, but have gone so far with the feeling irritable, restless & discontent I feel like I can’t recover from it. It has dragged me further down than active addiction ever did. Any advice would be appreciated!

It's ok. 😊

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

❤

Be wary of the medical community. As you found out no one is listening if you are an addict. It's all about what can they sell medically in order to make the most money. And as you said we are all addicts. I support you and your daily journey. Peace.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

True dat, it's all about the money. That fact is almost as constant as change! (Accidental pun, but I'll let it ride bc why not? ;)

Inspiring and had no idea of course. Call me when you want to talk

Hi james almost a year sober. Had back surgery and I'm off work. Boy I have the same discontent going on. Cabin fever pending relapse Had the pills after surgery took them but stopped after done. I can relate.

This is when I relapse.. feeling this way. Feeling this way is so scary.. I too have bad back problems, used to make a living singing in a band for 12 years, I start feeling sorry for myself.. and I say I don't give a "F" and ask myself why I even care and "BOOM".. HERE I AM. I hope this got better for you.. I hope you found your center again!!! I of course will watch and see! Thank you for your honesty!! ❤️

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

A bad case of the "fuck its." That's what I had, and then decided to make that video. I dove deep into AA, started signing up for service work that I didn't want to do. Now I love life again!

@amynicole5884

4 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames great!!!!! I was going through the anxiety with you.. so glad to hear!

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

www.patreon.com/soberjames "Amy Crabtree" would look good in the credits! Just sayin 😜

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

@@amynicole5884 😊

I just started decaffeinated black tea. I might try chamomile-- because decaf tea is so processed.

As far as relapsing and when one knows I Imagine it is when one forgets the physical/mental pains and physical/mental struggles of getting sober. This is just my personal belief about myself. Also i believe one forgets some of the personal tools and views one had during the jouney to sobriety getting diluted with time. For me its keeping the challenge alive daily mentally and spiritually. I do hear my inner idiots talking sometimes that maybe one day I can drink or whatever and to me thats my sign to stop, regroup, and get ready to fight. Its not healthy that I got it to the point of where i am hearing those inner idiots but when they are silent its also easy to let your guard down. For me it's reminders now and then that help keep me on the straight and sober self. As far as anger goes....thats a tough issue and wish I could help more out there as I have the same issues. LOL..Since day one of kicking my own ass its a list of things and its my deal but also find myself lashing out or holding it in and later realizing I shouldnt have even gotten mad in the first place. Guess thats a work in progress!!! But going back to relapsing (which I haven't done) i made a promise to myself to never forget my times of withdrawls. I remember every cramp, dry heave, shakes, fog, pains, nassea, sleeplessness and everything else. I literally sat in the storm and absorbed. I embraced it as my own. WHen i told myself i was done with alcohol that i am done for life and i went into it to nerver ever forget that old path. I wanted to give me some reasons to remember how bad it was and how bad it could be if I go back down that path and on that same note to be happy that im not going through that. I think that if one forgets over time or were drugged up during withdrawls and forgot that it didnt really burn in. SO years down the road when the storm seems over it comes back with a vengence. I believe they might call that "Getting complacent". Just my thoughts if any of it helps

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

"Built in Forgetters" is what they say we addicts have. I've found that when I'm sober, I forget how bad it got when I was drinking, and when I'm drinking, I forget how good it gets when I'm sober. Just an observation. I agree with your method of recalling the pain. In the rooms of recovery, this is called "playing the tape through." Bravo 👏 So happy you're clean friend

I had two kids lost them lost everything. Don't have children unless your ok.

I tried Prozac for 3 months, it made me want to shop everyday after work. Like a compulsion or something. I will need to look up compulsion.

0 dislikes .. Very rare

@SoberJames

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for pointing that out McKinley! I took a screenshot 😜

I'm here, just call, YOU have to ask. If you need a ride to your meeting call. I know how much they miss you.

@SoberJames

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks Dad, I'm going tonight

@youknowwho5709

5 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames 💡

I started texting back and forth with a man that is into F. Buddies. I am not into that sort of thing. He was very sweet (manipulating) I developed a crush, and I relapsed with weed. I continued to spiritually, and mentally relapse until i wanted desperately to drink. I broke things off permanately. I am lonely and craving his sweet talk. I feel like an old fool.

@SoberJames

5 ай бұрын

🤘✨ you’re no fool

Meds are a difficult subject which I, as I've mentioned in a reply on another vid was one of the issues I had with some NA members. But I can see your point. If I don't trust certain meds I usually discuss 'm indepth with my physician who knows my problem inside out or I gave the prescription meds, like you did to a family member so I couldn't have unlimited physical access. I've also seen your video on psilocybin and I'm treating my fractured ankle & calcaneus pain with small dosages of CBD vape and only when necessary. I used to smoke humongous amounts of cannabis in my early teens & twenties but I never feel the urge to go back after a decade off of it. I simply lost interest. The vaporiser mod I had for about 8 months to kick regular cigarettes which worked out great but I'm still hopelessly hooked on nicotine. Nevertheless it's healthier and I don't hurt other people using it in that regard I categorize nicotine in the same class as caffeine. But I hope I quit that too one day. I don't misuse the CBD imo and I believe it is much better than the pharmaceutical opioid alternatives. Even though my drugs of choice were stimulants and alcohol. I only used benzos/opioids to come down of the stimulants but it's been three years already since I've misused illigal street drugs only booze remained. In sobriety I also had to go to the endodontist for an invasive painful root canal (hate going to the dentist btw) and if it is absolutely necessary then I'll take the anesthetic after exploring some alternatives nonetheless. So I did because perhaps the stress of (impending) pain could drive me toward relapse rather than not taking it. Afterwards I took some none mindaltering paracetamol for a day or 2. Dunno, as long as I stay lightyears away from my destructive drugs of choice which I know will result into a full blown dissaster for sure which I proved to myself time and time again, I'm fine I think. Which brings me to dual diagnose of psychiatric patients over which I had many arguments with fellows. The way I see it if medication can improve the quality/functionality of someone's life without major impairment and/or imminent danger of relapsing who am I to judge. Although we always do have to be cautious of course. The main thing I do get out of your stories and from other fellows is that the first steps in order to remain sober I have to work hard on being honest, get a meaningful life, something to wake up for because right now I'm stuck in a codependency predicament myself living off family members which is a bit depressing and shameful cos I haven't been the nicest person toward 'm, a self-centered jerk to be honest these last few months. They took me and my busted paw in without question although they've about had enough of my foolish antics and rightfully so. Also a reason why I layed off the booze. The reality is I will eventually lose them if I keep this up. Thus I was thinking as soon as my foot heals so I'm mobile again which is soon I hope. I'll get myself hospitalized alhough it's mainly to get the law off my back for now but I'll call on Monday to be put on the waiting list. Then I'll focus on working my @ss off staying sober, setting things straight, finding a job, finding a new home and some form of aftercare be it NA, a psychologist or sos sobreity. Meanwhile reading some literature, do some writing or listen to online shares/info. Being independant raising my self-esteem will be a huge scarry step into the deep again; fearfullness, self-loathing, avoidance/quitting, lazyness, not caring, extreme mood swings, are a few of the demons haunting me right at this moment. Sorry for writing so much but it keeps my mind occupied and improves my English writing skills. Thnx 4 sharing, ... and speady recovery regarding your back pain.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly

I need to ask . My ex is a addict has been sober or says for three years. We were happy and perfect and even decided to have a child. I got pregnant and then he changed . He started acting distant and secretive . And he left me and said he doesn’t want to work it out with me I don’t know if he is still sober or not but he was so crazy about me and now nothing . He does live with his dad and his dad supports him financially. I’m just wondering if he might of relapsed . I couldn’t tell cause I don’t know the signs but I also am not a addict at all . So I could never tell the signs of relapse. I guess I’m just looking for a answer of how someone can leave someone so easy and pregnant . I am simply moving on but just hurts .

@SoberJames

2 жыл бұрын

Nothing comes before the active addicts drug of choice. Key word: active Never, ever take it personally sheislove ❤️🧔🏻

I have a question. Please answer if you can/feel like it. I was in a relationship with someone I loved very much who was an addict. I don’t know how long he was clean, but I’m pretty sure it was for the entire time we were together. He treated me like gold, loved me, treated me like a princess. However, he suddenly broke up with me and refuses to talk to me, won’t let me see him, and shipped my things back to me. I just don’t know. Is it possible he relapsed? He just started a new job, which is labor intensive and takes up most of his time. He also expressed to me before he couldn’t be around drugs because they could trigger him, and he didn’t drive because he didn’t trust himself and it was tempting. My heart is just broken. I love him and don’t want it to be over.

@SoberJames

2 жыл бұрын

Look up Al Anon. It’s for friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. Your feeling is one that’s been felt since the dawn of addictions. Let go. I know you don’t want to, but you may have to.

@snugglebunnixo

2 жыл бұрын

@@SoberJames thank you. I know, but all I wanted was an actual goodbye. If he has relapsed, I know it’s not him and want him to get help because he never actually has in the past. It’s just hard.

Tt

I liked the other room more. Return the TV. Obviously you need the pain meds. Work it out with your girlfriend. You have the blahs.

@SoberJames

4 жыл бұрын

Me too puppydog, I ended up only recording two vids in that room. The pain meds are history, and the gf didn't work out. Just the way it goes sometimes. Thanks for sharing!