Severance - How to Write a Mysterious TV Pilot

Ойын-сауық

This video essay breaks down the writing of Severance's pilot episode, written by Dan Erickson and starring Adam Scott. If you are a screenwriter and writing a mystery pilot script and in need of some tips to get the balance right, then this video will help you to structure it properly and learn what what to reveal and what to keep secret to keep the audience engaged. Severance is available to watch on Apple TV.
PATREON: / justanobservation
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This video may contain copyright material; the use of which has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. This material is made available under section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made "fair use" for the purposes such as criticism, comment, review, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, education and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that otherwise might be infringing. All rights belong to its owners.
Music used:
Trips by Topher Mohr and Alex Elena
Earth Appears by Brian Bolger
A Fool's Theme by Brian Bolger
Oman Groomer by The Mini Vandals
Music Box by Brian Bolger
&
Mystery by GoSoundtrack
Creative Commons - Attribution 4.0 International - CC BY 4.0
KZread Original Link: • Mystery - GoSoundtrack...
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"Broken Piano " composed and produced by "Vivek Abhishek"
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Timestamps:
0:00 Keys to Writing a Pilot
3:16 Teaser and Prologue
6:51 Conflict and Rising Conflict
9:51 Answering Questions and Raising More
#severance #pilot #adamscott

Пікірлер: 88

  • @jfrancis6191
    @jfrancis61912 жыл бұрын

    I’m almost ashamed to admit I’ve watched the series all the way through three times already. It’s just so rare to see something so well made. It’s endlessly surprising and delightful. So human and humane. Every character is a treasure. Nice video! 👍

  • @shushunk00

    @shushunk00

    2 жыл бұрын

    last episode they have gone mid ,as the characters were moonlighting and were very casual which is absolutely unfamiliar of them as they have been overturned as innie also dylan is holding on to the levers ,and the other 3 workers knew that ,still they were too slow and casual for that urgency ,which is just lazy film making. which is lazy writing to get a conflict 1)irving did no work that helps to get rid of severance ,he was moonlighting burt's house 2)helly could have just not mention that she is innie ,people will believe the owner of a product if they claim that their product is really bad,rather than a worker in that same company(helly as a worker) 3)mark was too polite to tell his sister this serious info. and he was waiting for sister to get free of the a party's chores,which is wy less important than what mark(inie) is about to say,also mark talked with cobel so casually ,she was also questioning multiple and mark did not figure out she is suspicious or something is wrong with her ,he was very casual in that situation,also she was just reading the book from his behind ,its not like mark(innie)know that cobel is larping as his friendly neighbor. also if I was an innie for a brief moment I would just live stream or upload a video mentioning all the crime of that capitalist corporation .

  • @TheBOMMShow

    @TheBOMMShow

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@shushunk00 I agree about the lazy writing near the end of the season… except what you said about Mark’s part. He had to assess to situation carefully to know who he could trust with the information that he then share. So it was a survival technique to ensure that his info would fall on deaf ears or worse, it would lead to negative consequence.

  • @evolv.e

    @evolv.e

    Жыл бұрын

    I just finished watching season one a third time and was still able to catch a few subtle things in the background as well as deeper character interactions that may play into some theories I think may play out in season 2. 🐐🎭 Overall, great writing, excellent cinematography, detailed set prop & set design, brilliant acting, engaging music score, and relatable characters that take you on a journey that’s based on a possible work/life balance scenario and simultaneously begs the question, who are you?

  • @JT_1998

    @JT_1998

    Жыл бұрын

    @@shushunk00 lol. 1) Irving did that same exact thing 2-3x before the finale. Don’t you remember when Mark, Hely, and Irving went to explore the halls and Irving ditched for Burt? These behaviors are etched into their characterization. 2) Hely has been told constantly that she is just an innie, even by her own self. It’s so obvious that she would start out by introducing herself as an innie before exposing the company. It makes perfect sense to her character. 3) Mark as an innie has always been a bit submissive, mixed with the unfamiliarity of the situation, of course he would take everything in first. This isn’t lazy writing, just your preferences not being fulfilled. Calling something lazy writing when you aren’t a writer. Shit is too funny.

  • @shushunk00

    @shushunk00

    Жыл бұрын

    @@JT_1998 by ur logic i can't say that a pizza was boring or was not good bc i haven't made any pizza in my life

  • @johnrb0213
    @johnrb02132 жыл бұрын

    Helly in particular is a great character to study in regard to nature vs nurture. Who she is at her core...untouched by certain experiences that made her who she actually is on the outside ...is so drastically different. It's fascinating to study

  • @DrZaius3141

    @DrZaius3141

    2 жыл бұрын

    Although I've heard someone mention that she does have a level of entitlement that shines through. The middle-class characters intuitively accept that work in capitalism is kafkaesque exploitation that you perform either because you get a pat on the head for good work (Dylan), believe in the company (Irving) or have positive social interactions (Mark). I'm not sure whether I 100% agree with the sentiment because you could argue that those three simply have gotten used to it over time, but there certainly is a difference and given how the "innies" are capable of fully formed human speech, there are certainly some remnants of memories with them from the start. Like, how would a severed person be aware of Delaware? Or what the USA are? Saying there is no nurture involved at all is a bit of an oversimplification. And Helly's core is far from pure. It's just that Helena had the circumstances that allowed her sociopathy to flourish.

  • @jmod1716

    @jmod1716

    Жыл бұрын

    @@DrZaius3141 Communication abilities, instinctive behavior, as well as habits that are learned and developed over time (talking, walking, driving) are located in a different part of the brain. Memories (lived experiences, names of people, your own name and sense of self) are stored in different neurons in a different part of the brain. Severance causes a disconnect between the two; when the fuse-like chip is activated. The plot is medically accurate, although I don’t think that class status is transferred as you said. I think it’s more of, that’s who she really is, but has to suppress it to please her family and ultimately take the next CEO role. One reason she did the procedure was to give Lumen positive press and eventually secure her spot at the top. So she is very driven and stubborn on the outside as well, however, due to lived experience, she is more calculated vs. her unhinged innie.

  • @simonhughes-king8493
    @simonhughes-king84932 жыл бұрын

    Just finished watching this. It was one the best shows I've ever seen. Loved it. The insane premise. The excellent plot. The production design and look. The little details and depth. The wonderful quirkiness. The green tinge....the red and blue...... I haven't been so enthralled for a long time. WELL DONE to everyone involved

  • @TheTriangleOffense47
    @TheTriangleOffense472 жыл бұрын

    This show is so good and captivating, Ive literally have been trying to show this to whoever I could

  • @evolv.e

    @evolv.e

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same!

  • @sbush476

    @sbush476

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too! I finally got people to watch this week. Now I am like please finish so we can talk.

  • @PurpleSun8933
    @PurpleSun8933 Жыл бұрын

    I've liked how authors rewarded my observation. Mark's wife candle can be seen in early episodes inside one of the offices (don't wanna spoil where exactly). That's pretty unique looking candle and it immediately caught my sight when it appeared in a place where it shouldn't be.

  • @MegaAsante
    @MegaAsante2 жыл бұрын

    Excellent essay. Really love your work.

  • @JustanObservation

    @JustanObservation

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Asante!

  • @t221000
    @t221000 Жыл бұрын

    Ironically when I saw the pilot I was so confused I wasn't that impressed. However when I saw episode 2 then I was hooked. It's a really fascinating thought experiment.

  • @richtea87
    @richtea872 жыл бұрын

    One of my favourite TV shows in recent memory! Excellent video!

  • @jetsamperes5762
    @jetsamperes5762 Жыл бұрын

    This show is riveting and captivating and suspenseful - all without a single gunshot.

  • @AlexanderTtl
    @AlexanderTtl Жыл бұрын

    Naaaah this man helped me out in a previous breakup and now he making analysis videos on my favorite shows 😭😭😭😭 this man does everything 🙏

  • @Ivyzord
    @Ivyzord2 жыл бұрын

    This show is great at so many levels! I can’t help but admite Dan Erickson It’s great to see something that feels fresh and is so well constructed!

  • @gubson-xy2ow

    @gubson-xy2ow

    Жыл бұрын

    could you please connect me to the communications officer of precinct 41

  • @tedtawk2783
    @tedtawk27832 жыл бұрын

    Excellent video! Really hope this show takes off

  • @filhanislamictv8712
    @filhanislamictv8712 Жыл бұрын

    This show kept me on my toes.

  • @iainronald4217
    @iainronald4217 Жыл бұрын

    This show is fantastic. It's the only show in the past 3 years or longer that I've watched all of in 1 nine-hour stretch.

  • @howardron543
    @howardron5432 жыл бұрын

    Another show to add on my list of must watch

  • @JustanObservation

    @JustanObservation

    2 жыл бұрын

    Definitely

  • @alexandra-ru3ls
    @alexandra-ru3ls2 жыл бұрын

    really looks very interesting. I think is time to watch Tv again :))

  • @marus_five
    @marus_five Жыл бұрын

    Just watched the whole show in a few day, holly god. This is one of the best shows I have ever seen. My favorite show in just one season. Can’t wait for the next season.

  • @edgelordofhosts
    @edgelordofhosts2 жыл бұрын

    This sounds like a 40 hr/week corporate horror. Throw who you are away and be professional and don't talk about work at home. Very apt for the times, i will definitely binge

  • @magnuskallas

    @magnuskallas

    Жыл бұрын

    Is it just me or are the themes and influences of Philip K. Dick popping out everywhere? The pilot's premise is actually rather similar to the short story "Paycheck". And oh well, Dick loved the themes of megacorporations, mind control etc.

  • @Hankparra
    @Hankparra2 жыл бұрын

    I love this breakdown of the concept of the series and how the experience interacts with the viewer. I’d love to see the rest of the series broken down like this episode by episode. Good work!! Thank you for the content :)

  • @himeshpal2784
    @himeshpal2784 Жыл бұрын

    Each and every actor in severance has touched the greatest height of acting.🥇🏅,btw Hr manager was my favourite.

  • @starsandmoonsabove
    @starsandmoonsabove2 жыл бұрын

    Love the show! So excited for season 2

  • @Jeredos
    @Jeredos2 жыл бұрын

    Greatest Tv show of the year and already one of the best.

  • @mitchnutt
    @mitchnutt Жыл бұрын

    Thanks for the fantastic analysis --- I agree that this was a standout show, and a refreshing, original story with lots of twists and turns without feeling disjointed. Liked and subscribed.

  • @japanimesekai3985
    @japanimesekai3985 Жыл бұрын

    I love Severance! This video summed it up perfectly!

  • @TeamCat1128
    @TeamCat11282 жыл бұрын

    Brilliant! Dude, you are on FIRE!😎

  • @tappajavittu
    @tappajavittu Жыл бұрын

    This show is peak television, I knew I would love it from the opening shot and everything after that just kept being consistently great. I don't get why some people say this show is painfully slow when I thought it was perfectly paced to keep up the tension and the acting, oh my god, Britt Lower and Tramell Tillman were new faces to me and now I'm a big fan.

  • @henrychinaski5938
    @henrychinaski59382 жыл бұрын

    I'm gonna have to watch this show now . Looks interesting

  • @miniminerx
    @miniminerx2 жыл бұрын

    I loved this show so much

  • @chewiewins
    @chewiewins Жыл бұрын

    Nice analysis. It was a perfect season of a show too.

  • @andrewstanley8945
    @andrewstanley89452 жыл бұрын

    I want to watch it now, thanks!

  • @belllerofont
    @belllerofont2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for good work

  • @soulfulcinema
    @soulfulcinema Жыл бұрын

    This tv show is something else. I liked it so much!

  • @RaaYzR
    @RaaYzR2 жыл бұрын

    Great video one of the best shows I've watched recently and can't wait for season 2. BTW would love to see you do a video about True Detective season 1. The greatest show I've ever seen and such an incredibly deep character in Rust Cohle

  • @todgordan9948
    @todgordan99482 жыл бұрын

    This show was amazing not just the pilot but every episode just left me like omg what just happened and whats going to happen next

  • @milleniac
    @milleniac Жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing your insight!

  • @JustanObservation

    @JustanObservation

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @lettucekisses
    @lettucekisses2 жыл бұрын

    Brilliant show

  • @SeansLawnCare
    @SeansLawnCare2 жыл бұрын

    I really want to watch this show now

  • @maurobrunosolavergara5041
    @maurobrunosolavergara5041 Жыл бұрын

    Great analysis one little thing that you missed is how Mark, while he is walking through the corridor discovers the tissue he just used to wipe his tears, just before entering the severed floor and how now within the floor doesn't have any recollection of it, wondering why he has it on the first place. And consecutively throwing it on a nearby trashcan. This showcases the separation or severance of the same person into 2 characters and how both of them have no recollection of the other one

  • @evolv.e
    @evolv.e2 жыл бұрын

    💉🧠 Excellent show - fantastic breakdown Looking forward to season two!

  • @himurahaibara1459
    @himurahaibara1459 Жыл бұрын

    This show has successfully disturb and captivate me.

  • @beyondu77
    @beyondu77 Жыл бұрын

    I just found this show and really enjoy it. I find at times the show to be disturbing to me, for reasons I can't even explain, but I think it's because there's such an oddity to the workplace that it makes me feel uneasy. It's so foreign and yet masquerades as a place of calmness that you know is false.

  • @unrulybxite
    @unrulybxite Жыл бұрын

    Just blew through the entire S1 in the last day and am already thinking about watching it again. It's rare for me to be captivated from the very first episode of a show and some of my favorites (like The Wire and Breaking Bad), I didn't really feel were amazing at first. This show managed that and this video captured why that is really well. Ah well, off to re-watch! See y'all in S2.

  • @thragg00
    @thragg002 жыл бұрын

    my girl and i binged watched this show after watching the first episode

  • @RGBEAT
    @RGBEAT Жыл бұрын

    Interesting. I didn't enjoy the first episode that much but I absolutely love the whole season. One of my all time favourites. I think no matter how well exposition is hidden, it's still a bit tedious.

  • @justinmanser7525
    @justinmanser75252 ай бұрын

    Season 2 updated: An actor from the show said the wait is almost over, possibly meaning we could get it at the end of Summer '24!

  • @DandA604
    @DandA6042 жыл бұрын

    Brilliant deconstruction. Bravo. 👍🏼👍🏼

  • @JustanObservation

    @JustanObservation

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you

  • @todgordan9948
    @todgordan99482 жыл бұрын

    Had to add this series gives me Maniac vibes

  • @MashmanMusic
    @MashmanMusic2 жыл бұрын

    For a deeper insight and a potential part 2 to your review. Look into the conspiracy theory surrounding MK Ultra and Cathy O'Briens book Tranceformation of America.

  • @hugh_jasso
    @hugh_jasso2 жыл бұрын

    I'm here because i love the show so much I'm just consuming everything i can about it. Regarding "World Building" i would also point out the name of the company is called "Lumon" and the office and hallways are set up like the "liminal space" of the "Backrooms" urban legend. Could be a relation, could be a stretch but its the first thing that came to my mind. The childlike nature of the innies is also teased in Marks sisters group of friends. Do they 'not eat?' Or do they simply 'not remember' eating because they're also severed?

  • @Mrs.LadeyBug
    @Mrs.LadeyBug Жыл бұрын

    I wish it wasn’t just one season long. I expected a second season!

  • @youngboy5620
    @youngboy56202 жыл бұрын

    Make a video about James st Patrick from power

  • @kludgedude
    @kludgedude Жыл бұрын

    Would this be a example of work life balance?

  • @subanakatz4943
    @subanakatz4943 Жыл бұрын

    what do they do at work? That's a good question. I wonder why it was necessary to sever their brains to work in this company. Even the innies who work there don't seem to understand a lot about what they do. They know they are sorting numbers but don't know what the numbers are. All they know is that they have an emotional reaction to the numbers but not what the numbers represent. The severance procedure would be expensive, even with their own medical staff. So if the innies don't fully understand what they do, why go to that expense when it may not be needed?

  • @Vejita12
    @Vejita12 Жыл бұрын

    In that World, not everyone engages in severance as they are trying to do exactly that. In this town, local area.. yes. They are nothing more than livestock.

  • @sbush476
    @sbush476 Жыл бұрын

    Does anyone else ever think maybe the innie might have it better than the outie? I mean all they have is structure like an ant working everyday for a goal nothing else. No worries. Just work.

  • @isaacmiller6530
    @isaacmiller65302 жыл бұрын

    Liked without seeing the video

  • @SadToffee
    @SadToffee2 жыл бұрын

    Severance looks a whole lot like utopia.

  • @jadenkuczek1906
    @jadenkuczek1906 Жыл бұрын

    The first episode of Severance isn’t the pilot though. The pilot’s script never got shot into an episode. This is just the first episode out of Apple TV+’s first season order. This show didn’t need a pilot to get green-lit once Ben Stiller got involved, I think. I highly recommend reading the SyFy article about the original pilot’s script. It’s really interesting.

  • @PlanetoftheTapes
    @PlanetoftheTapes2 жыл бұрын

    A comment

  • @dragonskunkstudio7582
    @dragonskunkstudio75822 жыл бұрын

    You are making me realize why I stopped watching this show. The mystery is there but my curiosity is not.

  • @shushunk00
    @shushunk002 жыл бұрын

    last episode they have gone mid ,as the characters were moonlighting and were very casual which is absolutely unfamiliar of them as they have been overturned as innie also dylan is holding on to the levers ,and the other 3 workers knew that ,still they were too slow and casual for that urgency ,which is just lazy film making. which is lazy writing to get a conflict 1)irving did no work that helps to get rid of severance ,he was moonlighting burt's house 2)helly could have just not mention that she is innie ,people will believe the owner of a product if they claim that their product is really bad,rather than a worker in that same company(helly as a worker) 3)mark was too polite to tell his sister this serious info. and he was waiting for sister to get free of the a party's chores,which is wy less important than what mark(inie) is about to say,also mark talked with cobel so casually ,she was also questioning multiple and mark did not figure out she is suspicious or something is wrong with her ,he was very casual in that situation,also she was just reading the book from his behind ,its not like mark(innie)know that cobel is larping as his friendly neighbor. also if I was an innie for a brief moment I would just live stream or upload a video mentioning all the crime of that capitalist corporation .

  • @thebhoy2000
    @thebhoy20002 жыл бұрын

    I thought it was a good TV show but it being more than one series I really do not think was necessary

  • @HisameArtwork
    @HisameArtwork Жыл бұрын

    this seemed like pointlessly weird and convoluted. and because it's on Apple I assumed it's a botched adaptation. I'm mad for what they did with Foundation. but you made this seem interesting, maybe I will watch. thanks.

  • @dannyd4339
    @dannyd4339 Жыл бұрын

    I always wondered why he looks like a detransitioned lesbian.

  • @tRav285
    @tRav2852 жыл бұрын

    Well I've seen enough shows in the past to not have too high of hopes for something like this. Dont get me wrong, this has a lot of potential and a very interesting premise but it has tons of plot holes and contrivances and things that just plain dont make sense. It feels like LOST all over again, loads of interesting questions with NO interesting answers. How do you remove all of a persons memories but they are still able to have large vocabularies of words that refer to objects or situations they have no knowledge of?

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