“Rub this for the seed you seek” - member of the church.

@morganbartlett8233

24 күн бұрын

I just wanna know what happened to that, John seems like someone who would keep the crazy stuff people send just for fun

28:42 "We are shuttering up Our Lady of...wow..." Excellent ad-lib.

So much content I haven't seen in the full episodes. That last bit was hilarious and I never saw it before! Thank you lwt team!

It shouldn't be this expensive to be poor

Man that actor who played the cop with the line “of course it was Florida…” fuckin nailed it. What a compelling performance for a 5 second joke bit. 😅

@kaninnen

2 ай бұрын

It looks like Dennis Quaid.

@johnathonlangley5699

2 ай бұрын

@@kaninnen I think you’re right! I’m lookin him up on IMDb and I think the only films I’ve seen of his are DragonHeart and Yours Mine & Ours. I’m sure that’s a very accurate sample of his work. :P

@reinaashley2593

2 ай бұрын

it's actually Robert John Burke! he played bart bass (chuck's dad) in gossip girl. dennis quaid was also one of the actors, though, he was inside a hotel? and robert's character was outside in an alley

@TheUltimateYouTuberyay

Ай бұрын

@@johnathonlangley5699 He was also on SVU for a time. Det. Lupo was in there too.

I had to get a court-appointed lawyer once. Not only did he relentlessly urge me to plead guilty to an erroneous charge, it turns out he was only a law student on an internship working FOR THE PROSECUTOR. I obviously fired him, but despite that being wildly illegal, my new lawyer said that was standard practice in that precinct.

6:55 - “those are some low standards” (talking about the guatemalan presidential election. 2024 u.s. presidential election: “hold my beer!”

That's why bonds need to be illegal. A bond is a punishment without due process, which is unconstitutional. I spent 3 months in jail for being innocent. Lost everything, job, apartment ect. All because I didn't have 6 grand. It was all caught on tape and the da refused the charges. Everything got dismissed but my life was ruined.

@TheRealEvilkitten3

Ай бұрын

that's super fucked up and should not have happened to you, or to anyone. i'm so sorry. i hope one day those bastards are forced to pay you back for everything they took from you.

@mfohawk6779

Ай бұрын

I know the frustration. Currently, I'm in a position of having been arrested for some crazy made-up BS from a person a couple houses down from me. The deputies took their side/story verbatim, never asked me a single thing...and were determining what they were going to charge me with before even "investigating" the claims. In jail I was refused my epilepsy medicine and had 100+ seizures. Upon bond being posted, I immediately requested...and was given...all body-camera footage, dashcam footage, the 911 call that was placed, transcripts of communication between dispatch and the responding deputies, medical records that acknowledge my condition and being given a medication that is known to make it worse, the deputies post-incident notes (which are full of false information.... perjury). The sheriff requested a "behind closed doors" meeting with me...was forced to turn my phone off and place it on the table...then offered to "make it all go away". If I agreed to it, I was instructed to "tell the DA tomorrow about our deal and to have him contact me for the details". Given I have proof of all of this, I'm carefully planning how to put his nuts in a vise and crank it the hell down.

@disliked1390

Ай бұрын

you live in a clown country

In case you're wondering, that one judge who tried to fight a lawyer was eventually removed. His name was John C. Murphy.

@meghancalahan4798

Ай бұрын

I was wondering!! Thank you for your service 🫡

@angeljustis7890

Ай бұрын

He has apparently returned to the courtroom in 2023 handling civil cases (KZread video by a journalist, Andrew Ford, from "Florida Today"). Amazing how such a violent and injudicious man is allowed to return to his previous job as a judge, most other people would lose their job permanently.

@TheRealEvilkitten3

Ай бұрын

@@angeljustis7890 i'm pretty sure that video is from 2014, when he returned from a four week break (not sure of the exact dates or numbers, just to be clear, nor have i seen the video, but i couldn't find any other source for john murphy being in court after being removed, so i think that video was just like a reupload or something; pretty sure he's still gone)

The fact that a TV comic was considered a weird front runner just a decade ago is such a nostalgia trip.

@barthollevoet4018

28 күн бұрын

tbf as early as 2009 a tv comic founded a political party that is now in power. In Italy, granted, but still. And let's not forget the Gipper.

@JediMobius

27 күн бұрын

Right? So quaint.

The Michigan sex scandal would not have been exposed had the two reps not fired the staffer recording Courser. 😂😂😂

And all the money went to Doctors Without Borders. Thank you, Last Week Tonight, and Praise Be!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

He's so chipper and fresh, look at him all bushy-eyed and bright tailed

And the worst part is that everything that John talked about in the early seasons is still relevant.

Those descriptions of Queen Elizabeth's hats was both hilarious and oddly spot on.

This one was absolutely EXCELLENT. A classic. Well, they kinda all are. But you know what I mean.

Anyone else noticed Sam the Eagle looks like Jon with his glasses off?

How did the Church of Scientology NOT go after John Oliver for that last joke?

@unknowngamer37415

2 ай бұрын

Probably because they have lawyers and the Church of Scientology really really doesn't want any of their members anywhere near court.

@Enterprise1701J

18 күн бұрын

HBO lawyers yeah 😅

Public defenders are for people who can’t afford lawyers. Doesn’t make them guilty, makes them poor.

That judge?!?! What on earth?????

I know where Guatemala is now because of these jokes

"Of course it was Florida!"

I remember when I thought that was his real wife

@oliviasepelak3083

Ай бұрын

Hahahahaha same 😂😂

That's why they're called charges, it's all about the money.

Using old law and order alum for the cop/court skits makes me so happy

@barthollevoet4018

28 күн бұрын

Also nice to hear a different sample from the one we all know has already been sampled to death.

I am sorry, but the world should only recognize one true erotic fiction author, and that is Dylan Moran! "His gaze was stern, unyielding; like an Easter Island head stuck in traffic."

MOSTLY IN DOLLAR BILLS!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Don't try to inspire me to learn where Guatemala is John, just shame me for not knowing. Jeez.

They told me 70 years in prison or plea bargain for 30 days in the county jail agreement plan innocent man got 58 months

Heartbreaking. Just makes me cry.

He LOOKS like Sam the eagle

Honestly, that sounds EXACTLY like Florida, which is fucking depressing.

Wow, Only the Second Season and they pulled show much Talent for their skits.

Can anyone from the UK answer these questions: (1) What is with there being a monarchy? Do they have any powers, and do they take any funds from the country? (2) Do most people want to dissolve the monarchy? If not, how come? If so, what are the blockers toward that goal?

@Kartissa

2 ай бұрын

(1) The monarch does theoretically have powers - notably the power to refuse a Prime Minister and close Parliament. However, if the monarch exercises any such power, it will almost certainly be taken away by the next parliament. As for funds, there is the Sovereign Grant - a set proportion of the Crown Estate's profit - which is funded by taxpayers, and is used for expenses associated with the duties of the Royal Family . Members of the Royal Family also have private income sources, such as investment portfolios and land rental. (2) Support for the monarchy is currently at a historic low, with around 45% believing it should be abolished, or that it isn't important. The main things blocking the abolition of the monarchy seem to be loss of international prestige and income from tourism. (Also the fact that slightly more than half of the UK population still supports the institution.)

@AG-ld6rv

2 ай бұрын

@@Kartissa Interesting, thanks. I would have thought 90+% of people would want the whole thing abolished if they take tax money and have theoretical (and seemingly major) power. It seems so antithetical to a plain old democracy or even an institution that has similar powers but gains membership into it through some kind of demonstration of skill or through some kind of election.

@Kartissa

2 ай бұрын

@@AG-ld6rv The taxation isn't really that big an issue. The Sovereign Grant is currently around £86.3 million, which is equivalent to just £1.29 ($1.65 at current exchange rates) per person in the UK. And as I noted, it's meant for expenses of the official household, maintenance of Royal Palaces, and cost of travel to carry out royal engagements. In exchange, the monarch surrenders the revenue from the Crown Estate to the Exchequer, which for the 10 years leading up to 2023 was £3 billion, to be used for public spending. Currently, no member of the Royal Family receives an allowance from the government.

@AG-ld6rv

2 ай бұрын

@@Kartissa Hmm. So you're saying the arrangement results in the royal family paying more in extra fees than they take from taxes? That's not as bad. And I can see holding on to royalty as being "cool" and a generator of tourism as you pointed out. Ultimately for me, however, I'm against classes in societies. Not as extremist as a communist, but having an official royalty system goes beyond my tastes for sure. I just view it as an implicit argument that one person is better or to be treated better than another without merit backing up that judgment. I'm a bit odd though. E.g. when I see a famous person, I have zero desire to run up to them -- not because it could irritate them but because I view them as a stranger the same as any other. There would need to be a circumstance that would have me running up to a random stranger for me to run up to a celebrity i.e. I wouldn't run up to them simply due to knowing they are known in society. Now, if I ever got to know someone famous organically, I'd maybe talk about stuff I know about them just the same as I'd talk to a random person about stuff I come to find out about them. But running up to them to force an interaction? It simply makes no sense to me.

Justice is fiscally solvent. It’s a cost center, paid by tax meant to protect economic interests, not help people. Class distinction is biggest part of that. A large pool of poor keeps middle class thankful to work hard and fills military ranks.

We need Public Defenders

Lol that judge got WHOOPED

Electing a TV comedian has worked out OK for Ukraine all things considered.

@bwilly4503

5 сағат бұрын

Wow, sniveling at Ukrain for fighting for their freedom! (Trumper!) Lol!

Whatever happened to that big woody?

@advanceringnewholder

2 ай бұрын

Iimmediately google "did john oliver still have the wooden penis". I'm also curious. Google doesn't seems to have an answer

@MysteryMii

2 ай бұрын

It’s probably sitting somewhere in storage.

@tapedeccard

2 ай бұрын

@@MysteryMii I like to think it’s in some trophy room with that potato that looks like Mickey Mouse, those three frog statues, and a wardrobe full of mascot outfits that only were ever used once.

@billadams8218

2 ай бұрын

John Oliver, Russell Brand, David Attenborogh, and Ozzy: th 4 Horsemen who i LOVE to hear narrate th Apocalypse. Generals gathering their masses...geriatric 'leaders' can kiss our asses. 😊

@racehen

2 ай бұрын

@@billadams8218 Russell brand ?

John, you can't 'go' Sam the Eagle. You both look related.

4:49 bro pulled a Drake

You are fabulous 😂

He was later removed from the bench

18:04, I dont get the joke. Can anybody explain?

@anthony7311

Ай бұрын

When Harper Lee, the author of the classic book To Kill A Mockingbird was close to the end of her life she released another book called Go Set a Watchman that followed the same characters from TKAM, but in her “sequel” Atticus Finch is an old racist. The book was controversial, but it was also written before To Kill A Mockingbird and was basically an early draft, so many don’t consider it to be an official sequel.

@markolson9913

Ай бұрын

@anthony7311 thank you so much! I really like Atticus Finch, so I was concerned that I missed something!

RIP Larry Thompson

The Bruce Willis line is a little.... Well let's just say I'm glad this is an old video.

@DragonbIaze052

2 ай бұрын

Developing dementia in the last few years doesn't erase the two decades before where he supported Bush, wanted cops to get more money, supported zionism, and suggested we launch a military invasion of Colombia to get rid of the drugs.

@Onigirli

Ай бұрын

A little what?

@DragonbIaze052

Ай бұрын

@@Onigirli He developed aphasia and had to be given his lines through an earpiece, leading to his retirement from acting for medical reasons. It was later disclosed that this was an early symptom of him developing frontotemporal dementia, and his family disclosed that his condition has worsened in the time since he left the public eye.

@barthollevoet4018

28 күн бұрын

@@DragonbIaze052 Who better to embody the adage "In space, no one can hear you scream" then?

Oddly enough the thing that’s aged most badly is the Gerard Depardieu gag

John Oliver is a national treasure.

6:15 Given the recent updates on Bruce’s condition this is one of those funny but it makes you sad bits now.

Speaking of Bruce Willis, there is a bizarre end to his movie career. Apparently while he developed his sad case of dementia, he pumped out something like ten low grade action movies. In some, he even has an earpiece not part of the movie showing, and it's believed they were telling him the lines to speak out due to his memory problems. It's rather bizarre. Last I checked, there is no official statement about the why. You can suspect a good or bad motive. Good would be him wanting to do some acting for fun or him wanting to help his family out with extra money. Bad would be more like his family basically pushing him into movies for their own financial gain, taking advantage of his condition and not letting a sick man rest.

@beepbeeplettuce5890

2 ай бұрын

He's said himself that he wanted to have as much money as possible for his family before he's unable to act anymore

@AG-ld6rv

Ай бұрын

@@beepbeeplettuce5890 Fair enough. However, we'll never know for sure, because we don't know how impressionable he is due to his dementia. Unless he said it during a more cogent time or just at the start of it.

@crimewizard

Ай бұрын

i looked it up and the specific type of dementia (Frontotemporal dementia) he has is more characterised by degeneration of language & comprehension abilities as well as behavioural changes, less so with memory. so his problems with saying lines arent due to not being able to remember them, more to do with losing the ability to form words all together

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got charged 128$ for my public defender, despite the fact I was unemployed.

Pull out works 😂

omg fresno mention !! love to see my county mentioned. maybe what its being mentioned for isnt the proudest thing, but still!

OK, so on the fuckability of Muppets, John: 1. Yeah, Fozzie for sure. That one is an absolute lock. 2. Animal. I'm a bit kinky, not too much, but I feel that he could open some new doors for me. 3. Gonzo, because YOLO. Is YOLO still a thing? 4. Can we include Sesame Street Muppets, or is that too creepy? It feels too creepy. 5. Can we include Fraggle Rock Muppets? That also feels too creepy, though for a wildly different reason. That show was fucking weird. 6. Miss Piggy. Definitely not relationship material, but for a night of fun, she's probably a riot. 7. Statler and Waldorf. Both, at the same time. I'm not remotely gay despite my first three choices, but come on, John. Can you imagine the commentary? "I came here for a threesome, and all I got was front row seats to a Limp Bizkit concert! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" [There are several Muppets I would add in before these last two] 8. Beaker. I love Beaker, but he would develop emotional attachment that I'm not looking for. 9. Kermit. Just...no. I get it. You're green. I'm not. At my age, I'm definitely overripened, and I just don't think we can bridge that experience gap. I don't have the emotional energy to devote to help you getting over it. This is a thing you will need to work on by yourself. On your own time. No, I'm not mad at you, Kermit. You should probably reconsider your relationship with Piggy, as she's wildly manipulative when it comes to you. Also, I'm meeting her at Statler's later tonight.

How does that judge still have a job? Too many of these judges think they make the laws instead of enforce them.

crazy that if u demand jury trial most courts will beg u to take a plea since court cannot handle even getting that many juries or trial would be 4 years away😊

9:30 just described his own job

Is that the HR from CalTech?

How many comedians have played the president of a country and gone on to be president?

The land of the free….. apparently??

@azbz9075

Ай бұрын

The land of the fees.

Spoon fed what's guacamole?

I hope the new music still has a good amount of that hard dancey hip hop inspired music. They said different though.

No seed for me thanks 😮

Ahhhh yes:). Our lady of perpetual deductions.

Who is that judge who delivered the beat-down? Is he still operating since this episode aired? Because that was genuinely upsetting to me and one of the rare times I could not see Mr Oliver's humor in it

@ekristinab

14 күн бұрын

i looked it up. his name is John C. Murphy and he was fired about 3 months after this episode aired

That video of the judge and public defender going outside to brawl happened on my 20th birthday im case anyone's wondering :)

@Onigirli

Ай бұрын

Look man we already publicly apologized for forgetting when your birthday was. It won't happen again

Good news. Atticus finch GOT BETTER. No, seriously. Harper LEe's father started supporting the civil rights movement between the time the prelude was written, and the creation of "To Kill A Mockingbird."

I'm starting to see a pattern-- Guatemala, Ukraine... can we get Bernie Sanders a sitcom where he plays a regular guy who becomes President?

9:05 "total contempt" well duh, she was literally the face of Britain, so of course her default expression should reflect the contempt the British feel for everyone around them & especially themselves.

Obvs, America criminalizes poorness. So sad.

Awh man that president part is foreboading 🥲

Bruce Willis can fix ANYTHING

Welcome to Florida, hope you brought you're wallet! Ron DeSantis at his best!

Apparently rat boy is a thing now so I think you’re good

Why should we send Bruce Willis into space, what did he do?

The Guatemalan candidate who played the president on a comedy show was later echoed by Zelenskyy in Ukraine

It's funny to hear what was considered low standards back then. And by funny I mean sad.

The queen, I thought these were new…

Aaaah

Wanna get schooled? Guatemala is a Banana Republic? 🍌 🤔🤭

It's probably already been 'no contest' plea is basically an admission of guilt. So this guy had to pay his fees et al ... and it should not be a burden to the people. Obviously if he was under council, 7 minutes would be plenty of time to advise nolo contendre to avoid any CIVIL judgement based on a guilty plea in the CRIMINAL case. There is a part of this story missing...the culpability is not on the public defender.

We only ask that the next president not be as bad as the last one...that's kind of how we got Biden in office isn't it? 6:48

"Neither corrupt nor a thief" could be Bidens slogan this year..smh eeesh

😊

this)

WAS

Courser is a MAGA Republican and Trump fanboy. I can't imagine where he learned this behavior.

Hehehehehehehe

Owl lover

Fffirst

Ive always really enjoyed Last Week Tonight, Im a Independent voter, that notices the democrat leaning agenda, still a great show.

Dude, queen Elizabeth has done more for the world than you ever will. Even if you disregard her accomplishment, tourism would plummet without the royal line. You're great at acting well prepared scripts, but you need to learn respect

@jlev1028

2 ай бұрын

Dude, this episode aired nearly 10 years ago. He can't hear you.

@zdelrod829

2 ай бұрын

"Dude, queen Elizabeth has done more for the world than you ever will" and the same doesn't apply to you as well?

@DragonbIaze052

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, Queen Elizabeth II has done a lot for the world, like allowing genocide carried out in her name, or making the country pay to cover up her family's sex crimes, or The Troubles. So many decades of tireless work on her part.

@ERRORCODE694

2 ай бұрын

This comment will totally make him “learn respect” even if the episode aired a decade ago

@sullisen

2 ай бұрын

Tourists go to see Buckingham Palace and harass guys standing really really still while wearing an absurd hat, the royals themselves might as well be ghosts for all any tourist would ever know. If you need one to wave from really far away now and then, hologram technology got you covered. There would be no shortage of tourists in London if the Royal family disappeared tomorrow. And no one owes royals any level respect on any grounds other than their own merits, just like any other people on earth.

FUNNY AS F...