Repentant Abusers and Hard Hearted Victims?
Often pastors and counselors who work with victims of domestic violence tell us that even when they see evidence of repentance by abusers, their victims become "hard-hearted" and refuse to consider reconciliation. In many cases this leads to the victims undergoing church discipline, even when there has been a clear pattern of domestic violence. This conversation between Chris Moles (PeaceWorks) and Joy Forrest (Called to Peace Ministries) discusses the faulty assumptions and dangers behind this sort of counsel.
Пікірлер: 18
Every part of this conversation has resonated with my experiences when I was in abusive relationships.
@CalledToPeaceMinistries
Жыл бұрын
Glad it resonated and sorry you had to go through that.
I am so glad I found you guys. I was just about to give up on church
@WisdomCalls-wq7vq
4 жыл бұрын
Julie Wile glad you found us!
Abuse is demonic your whole lives revolves around someone sinful behavior and no matter what you do it's always not enough they become worst. And worst until you can't bare them anymore
Complementarity only works for a regenerate soul.
Where does a guy go when he wants help to change from being the abuser?
@CalledToPeaceMinistries
Жыл бұрын
Chris Moles has groups for men who use power and control called Men of Peace groups. You can reach out through his website www.Chris moles.com.
@jeanirogers5588
Жыл бұрын
@@CalledToPeaceMinistries thank you
I Thought This Was About Repentant Abusers?...This Sounds More Like Things Non Repentant Abusers Do. What Do We Do if the Person Has Really Changed and Gave Their Life to God, And Has Proven Themselves To Be a Better Person?
@Thankful305
2 жыл бұрын
Same situation here. I wanted to hear about how to handle this “new relationship”. I feel like I am living with someone who has sobered up. He is self aware, listens, resolves issues mutually-- controls himself-- it’s really strange to live this way after 21 years of emotional narc abuse from him and our constant battles are gone. 6 months into this with 2 relapses and he came back super quick admitting his wrongdoing. It’s just so bizarre now. Don’t even know how to act around him anymore. It’s everything I ever wanted for us, but I’m still so afraid he will outburst any second if I say the wrong thing🫣 How are you adjusting and do have or found any good resources about this ?
@SD_Chosen
2 жыл бұрын
@@Thankful305 I Am Taking it Day By Day Thankful That Today Was a Good Day, And Leave Tomorrow in God's Hands My Advice is, Do Not Live in Fear, Trust God With Every Aspect of your life, Don't Put your Faith in Man, Because Man Will Always Let You Down, We are Imperfect Humans, Who Serve a Perfect God that Lives Inside Us , Let Go of Your Expectations in Man, And Trust God Totally with your Tomorrow. He is in Control...in All That You Do, Do it For the Sake of Christ, And Love, Love Love For Love Covers a Multitude of Sins ❤
@Webbgurl2000
2 жыл бұрын
You wait and see. If they’ve really changed, they will stop all gaslighting, blameshifting, and cheating. They will stop demanding you obey their every whim. They will be kind, compassionate, caring to you and their children. Don’t rush this process. God wouldn’t ask you to continue risking your life and children’s lives trying to keep him happy. Where the Spirit resides, there is freedom not bondage and fear.
@dustinsegers4534
Жыл бұрын
@@Webbgurl2000 Nailed it!
I need a support group
@CalledToPeaceMinistries
2 жыл бұрын
You can apply to join one here www.calledtopeace.org/join-us/join-a-support-group/
Why don’t you reference Lundy Bancroft, “why does he do that?“ Because he’s not a Christian? I found it incredibly helpful and written from a man’s perspective and for faith sake, in maturity, we can translate that into biblical acceptabilities? Yes?
@CalledToPeaceMinistries
Жыл бұрын
We do reference him often- just not here.