Thanks so much for watching, liking, and subscribing folks! I notice all those acts of support and they truly make a difference in growing this channel and spreading the good word about the enneagram 🩵

@ezhellez

7 ай бұрын

do you have a discord?

I’m a female 9, and I just watched through all of the type videos. Someone said, “You’ll know you found your number when you feel really uncomfortable and exposed.” I went through the last 8 videos like “eh. I can relate to some of these. Idk.” This one made my stomach hurt with the accuracy. Holy crap. Thank you for posting!!

@YouveGotaType

10 ай бұрын

Someone gave you good advice about finding your type 🙌 and glad the video resonated with you (albeit in that uncomfortable way)!

It's interesting how 5s and 9s can be so similar in behavior while having almost oppositional core motivations.

@YouveGotaType

8 ай бұрын

So true!

My top two love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. Acts of Service is at the very bottom.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing the LLs!

@jenesisjenkins8878

9 ай бұрын

To give or receive?

@tashonntrennwhite

9 ай бұрын

@jenesisjenkins8878 I'm trying to figure out which part of my comment you are responding to or what your are asking about.

@jenesisjenkins8878

9 ай бұрын

@tashonntreewhite I'm talking about receiving love that way? Or give love that way? Or just a mix of both

@tashonntrennwhite

9 ай бұрын

@@jenesisjenkins8878 I give and receive love by touch and words of affirmation in a romantic or intimate relationship.

Words of affirmation and physical touch kind of go hand in hand for me as a male 9. I think I’m a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I don’t shy away from conflict but i avoid it. But I’ve had to do major work letting people know I’m avoiding it bc my natural tendency is to let my grievance build until I’m absolutely ready to fight over it. In my head I’ve said somewhere “ok so no peace? Then you’ve chosen war” and I’ve totally blindsided people close to me who were not expecting it. And it’s a mix. Some have not deserved it while others were jackasses whose behavior i tolerated for too long. When i heard about the 9 type i was like “yep that pretty much me”. Then when i learned about a possible 8 wing and what that looks like i felt like I found the key to my soul 😂 Great video! Thanks for making it.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Great stuff, thanks for sharing! And my pleasure 🙌

@riverbank435

11 ай бұрын

One of my fav things about being a 9w8 is the complete silence that comes after expressing my anger when something has gone on for too long. No one ever sees it coming. Sometimes, not even me lol

@Pinkywinkykinky

10 ай бұрын

it's disorienting even to ourselves@@riverbank435

9x1. My top love language is acts of service and I think that’s because when someone just does something for me that I needed or wanted, especially when I didn’t have to ask them, it makes me feel like they really noticed me and that I matter. 2nd place was physical touch- probably because I’m a hobbit and I really like to feel comfy and cozy 😂.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Haha the "hobbit" line. Hope you've watched my LOTR enneagram typology? kzread.info/dash/bejne/gHqarbewZcW-Ydo.html Thanks for sharing your LLs!

@Colormeplaid1

10 ай бұрын

Unexpected acts of service - where I don’t know they’re doing it until it’s already done - is my #1 too.

@donnathedead7554

8 ай бұрын

All the 9s I know that seems to be their top love language but, you do have to make a point of saying it's no big deal on the front end or they won't let you do it. So I get where he's coming from that they don't want to be a bother but, really they like it. And 9s, you are the most unbothersome people ever.

@natashapeterson3609

29 күн бұрын

Same here! I think it makes me feel taken care of too so my overwhelm can chill and then I can thrive in peacefulness:))) . Also, I hate asking for help- and if someone paid attention to know there was a need, ya, I feel seen and cared for enough that they did that thing … acts of service/enneagram 9.

Wow! I've watched this video three times already, just to hammer home a lot of these fantastic points you made. Although my Nine self hoped, it did not become any more comfortable to listen to, but I think this is what I needed. You brought up so many memories from "fights" I've had in my marriage (I say "fights" because they tend to be very one-sided, due to my ability to just take any and all criticisms, be they valid or not), and I seeing all these ways I'm not truly showing up, especially for myself. I've got some work ahead of me *insert sigh here* and I want to thank you for helping to wake my ass up. Also, your "Lord knows, the Nine wasn't going to say anything."-OUCH, man. 🖤😅

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience of 9ness, and I'm glad the content struck a chord with your journey (albeit a painful one at times). Sorry if that line at the end stung - was mostly an attempt at being playful ;)

@paulmatson661

11 ай бұрын

LOL, no worries at all! My 1 wing appreciated the barb.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

@@paulmatson661 🙌

Definitely, words of affirmation followed by physical touch because it can be combined with sloth-like tendencies :) Acts of service is my second lowest then gifts. As much as I like both of those things, there is a chance the person might do the act of service wrong (maybe my 1 wing), or pick out a gift I don't want which puts me in a position of potential conflict.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing those LLs!

I’d say for me as a type 9w8 Words of affirmation that affirm the relationship mean the most. Things like “I love you” or “I want to be with you”. Im not that into complements or personal affirmations because they feel like something I need to live up to now. My favorite love language is physical touch and then quality time. Physical touch affirms the relationship the best and says I want to be close to you with action! This was by far the most complicated relationship advice video. It really depends what level of health the nine is at to form a truly deep relationship. I think the best advice I would give is to ask your nine partner lots of questions, but don’t expect an answer right away.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your personal experience on this as well as those tips 🙏

Quality time is what I want, words of affirmation is what I give.

I am for sure a type 9 but not sure yet which wing. But, what really sticks with me from this video, is about the present part where nines take a long time for a decision and explicitly not tell anyone about it. That is me 100%. I think my family will describe me as impulsive, yet in my head a specific idea has been floating around for 3/4 weeks or so. But thats the thing, I don't communicate those ideas (because who cares? And if I share, people will most likely have an opinion that I don't need lol) 🙂

@YouveGotaType

10 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙏

Aw this video is so compassionate! And calls us out without making us feel bad lol, which is appreciated. Words of affirmation is 500% my top one! I do need acts of service but I'm so afraid to ask for them.

@YouveGotaType

6 ай бұрын

Love to hear this as that's exactly how I hoped it would land :) Also thanks for sharing your LL!

Thank you for making these.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

My pleasure 🙏 thank you for watching!

I’m a 9 and when you said you were going to talk about our love language. I picked words of affirmation before you said it. So I’d say you’re right on target

Gotta say this is one of the most thorough (yet very concise) and accurate summaries of type 9. Love the way you dive deep down in a topic and immediately emerge with the point. As a sexual 9W1, Quality Time is by far the most important love language for me. I'm surprised it isn't #1 for other nines that have commented below since 9's are always seeking to maintain a great connection, (when we're not harmonizing our environment). Glad to see you reference Richard Rohr....he's a legend.

@YouveGotaType

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for this wonderful compliment 🙏 That's exactly what I hoped my hours of writing & editing would feel like to viewers like you :) And agreed - he's a legend indeed.

@sylviacline3472

3 ай бұрын

Quality time is my #1 and also two other nines I know value quality time

I came across this series after binging so much Back Pew content and am glad for this channel - I’m a 9 and my wife’s a 1, and the 1 and 9 episodes on BP were so enlightening. Glad for her and I to be able to dive into more Enneagram content here!

@YouveGotaType

10 ай бұрын

Love that the ole back pew is still getting some listens! Also glad your enjoying YGAT 🙌

this is pretty accurate, i got out of a relationship with a type 9 - 2 months ago, as an 8 i obviously wanted to get deep and intense, but we ended it the same week we said “i love you” to each other. I was mostly very bored and wished there was more, more to their personality especially

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Definitely a lot of differences between 8s & 9s to reconcile in a romantic relationship, thanks for sharing.

As a typical 9 I'm a bit indisicive about which love language I love most. Quality time and words of affirmation are definitely in the top 3, but physical touch is also great when used as affirmation 😁

My favorite enagran Channel, nice Job!

@YouveGotaType

14 күн бұрын

Thanks!

Hey there! I'm Poppy, a 17 y/o and a newly discovered 9, previously mistyped as a 4. Thank you for all your helpful and informative videos! They helped a lot in my true discovery of my type. 💜 As far as love languages go, quality time will always be number one, seeing how I fit rather embarrassingly well into that description of "just wanting everyone to stick together". I absolutely love just having someone I love beside me. If I could have one wish in life, it would be to have all my family and loved ones living close by. Down the list next would be physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts and then lastly... acts of service. It almost literally pains me to accept someone's help, I don't know what to say when someone does something for me, and anytime I'm asked if I need anything, I always fall back on my default "Nope, I'm good!" Currently trying to work on those things, and not be so accepting of the misery in the "peace" of doing nothing. I hope to learn more about my type and how to grow in my own skin, through your channel and other Enneagram resources. Thank you again for sharing your insight! 💖

I'm leaning towards calling myself a 9w1 instead of a 6w5. I seem more like a 6w5 under stress, though. I mostly just want to go through my routines and be at peace and stay out of other people's ways. That said, if I lose a job or I sense danger, my mind starts buzzing with all the ways I can recover my cash flow or get back to safety, often seeking out a guide to help me. I'm a homosexual male who came out very late in life as gay, as well as late in life as atheist, as well as late in life as a furry, as well as late in life as politically left leaning. I grew up Jehovah's Witness, and live in a very religious and conservative area. I am preparing to sell everything and move away from everything I've ever known. I've had enough, and am ready for a clean slate.

Listened to this with my husband. Pretty true in many ways, especially the part about the boundaries with parents - definitely a frustration for my husband (and me!). One of my love languages is indeed words of affirmation, as well as physical touch. I am married (28 years) to a 1....luckily we are both learning from the Enneagram! Thank you for explaining the different types in your own way!

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Love that y'all watched it together - and thanks for sharing your personal experience of some of those patterns as well as your LLs!

I was all the 9( except the present) in the begining of my life, now i am the présent because so much work and lessons of life... thanks for the explanations. The knowledge of my inner self is a good thing now.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Glad to hear it's been a fruitful journey :)

I loved this explanation of a 9. Thank you!

@YouveGotaType

6 ай бұрын

Glad to hear it!

I am a type nine and my ❤languages are quality time and physical touch. 🌞

I love this video, and, yes, it made me uncomfortable! Your videos are such a great tool to use as an opportunity for relationship tweaking! Thank you!

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

So glad to hear it! Discomfort and all :)

I was waiting for you to tell me what my love language is, lol. I would say quality time, but I think that's because I can merge and control the situation. Merging is very comfortable and then I can just numb out. That gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. But if I was truthful, acts of service might be number one. I don't know how to react when it happens or ask for them though. And I really like words of affirmation, but again I don't know how to react. I think it's because we always put others first.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks so much for sharing your LLs! That all makes sense and is helpful to hear.

Nailed it!

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks!

Omg this is SPOT ON 🎉🎉🎉

@YouveGotaType

5 ай бұрын

Glad to hear it!

Acts of service is a top love language for me as a nine because if what they’re doing for me helps me maintain my peace then that speaks so much. Oh, he went off and did that one thing I’ve been procrastinating on because it’s a hassle? Swoon

@YouveGotaType

5 ай бұрын

Haha that sounds about right to me, thanks for sharing 🙏

My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Gifts are at the bottom. (I'm a 9w8) Great video! Thank you!

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

So glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for sharing!

9w1 acts of service is definitely my love language.

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing!

Sometimes I focus on the bad in the relationship and yes it's hard to leave but we are trying to work everything out and I got acts of service as my top I think because growing up my mom worked and I saw other stay at home moms make there kids lunch and stuff like that so if someone does something nice for me I like it I feel guilty too but it fills my tank as well and like the garbage over filling I get passive aggressive so it's nice to have someone help or even help bring in the groceries but I also got emotional on the 7 love traits by truity and basically I like someone to come along side me through all the ups and downs of life

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your personal experience of 9ness 🙌

@m-bot

11 ай бұрын

@@YouveGotaType thanks for making this content

As a 9, quality time and physical touch are high on my list of lovelanguages, but words of afformation is closely followed.

@YouveGotaType

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙏

"Lord knows the 9's not going to say anything"... Ha!! 😂

@YouveGotaType

10 ай бұрын

😃

Love language is so hard for me to pin down (surprise! I’m an indecisive 9). Sometimes I value touch, sometimes it disrupts my peace. Sometimes I value words of affirmation, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable like I’m obligated to reciprocate. Gifts and acts of service can be the same. I mostly just want the love to be left somewhere until I’m ready for it, like a cat’s food bowl 😂

@YouveGotaType

27 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing ;)

I'm a 9w1, acts of service is BY FAR my primary love language. Quality time and physical touch are tied for dead last lol

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙌

@janicebernard642

5 ай бұрын

Me too! On all you have said. For extra information my subtype is self preservation, my second in order is words of affirmation and my third gifts.

1. Quality time 2. Physical touch

My top love language is Physical touch, but only with my wife. I usually want my personal space if I'm with anyone that I'm not intimately close to. In every other situation words of affirmation mean the most to me.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙌

I was pretty sure I was a 9 but now I’m positive

I'm a nine, and physical touch and quality time are my big ones.

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙌

I'm new to this stuff so I apologize if my comment is lengthy. I do want to know if it's possible to switch enneagram types over your life? Both INFP enneagram types fit me albeit at different ages. As a child I was infp 4w5 naturally. Unfortunately I was a victim of a crime as a child and developed severe PTSD and repressed every memory between age 3 and 9. From then until age 21 I instead fit your description for INFP 9w1 to a tee. I was also no longer capable of creating art/music like i used to before, which is interesting. Anyway once i hit my late teens i went into a deep state of depression and completely isolation (for instance COVID made absolutely no difference to my life in anyway). This was cause by those repressed traumatic memories abruptly resurfacing after one of the perpetrators who targetted me died. By the time I was 21 I had resolved the trauma and regained a lot my childhood memories again. I found that I started to revert back to my natural 4w5 enneagram type AND I'm finally able to create art again. I hope this made sense.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

It's not possible to "switch enneagram types" over the course of your life, but that is a common question mostly because there's a huge lack of information about how the different stages of health & development manifest different traits for each type. Also, 4s and 9s mistype as each other all the time depending on how "happy" they may feel at a given point. Women that are 9w8s mistype as 4s and Men that are 9w1s mistype as 5s all the time. So it's about doing a deep evaluation of your inner condition because these two types are VERY different at their core :) Best wishes on the continued journey of healing!

I’m type 8 female married to type 9 male. We are starting to get though major upheaval in the relationship. Still not totally convinced it can work but I now see value in type 9.

@YouveGotaType

5 ай бұрын

Glad you see the value in the 9's potential as a partner. I also have the 9-8 relationship video coming out in just a few weeks, so I hope that helps with the continued relationship journey/evaluation.

The unhealthy 9 in me sees this and thinks “ maybe if I show her this video she will change and treat me better” 😅 My love language is definitely words of affirmation. Gifts and acts of service are at the bottom.

Home is where the heart is Giggling at this forever

@YouveGotaType

4 ай бұрын

:)

About the idealizing, man I used to idealize my dad to the point I didn't like anybody talking any crap about him, really blinded myself there it was actually crushing to accept it back in like December or January? Times failing me but glad I acknowledged it and admit his faults more openly to myself now, as a kid for a time I actually thought stuff like racism and homophobia died down and it was a thing of the past so it was a real shocker to little me that the world wasn't that sunshine and daisies I thought it was so strange

@YouveGotaType

10 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙏

Where did you find these terms for the nine in a relationship? i.e. disappearing, passive, peaceful...and are these categories established from external factors outside the enneagram such as avoidant/anxious/secure attachment styles or something else completely?

@YouveGotaType

Ай бұрын

They are an amalgamation of the 9s core struggles and greatest strengths per the foundational teachings of Naranjo, Ichazo, and Riso & Hudson.

As someone with an annoying 9 mother in law gifts... gifts are a big one. Not the biggest

I'm a 9 and my primary love language is quality time but everything else was spot on me to a T thanks for the video

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

Well Quality Time was my close #2 guess :) Glad you enjoyed it!

9w8 (balanced w1 too) love language: physical touch and quality time (not being about time, but presence; I could spend 10 min with someone not on their phone; then with someone for an hour on their phone; per example). (words of affirmation used to be second; until I gave it thought since I don't really need affirmations from others although it's still nice to hear; with the good comes the bad).

@YouveGotaType

8 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙌

From everything I've been reading and watching I'm a 9w1 and can go to 6 pretty easily when I begin to lose myself. My love language, I think, is "Physical Touch", but now that I reflect on my previous marriage, I never received "Words and Affirmations" for all the things I did to try to make my partner's life better. That really bothered me and made me a bit resentful of her. Maybe if I knew how important "Words and Affirmations" were to me it may have lead to being happier and a better partner for her.

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

Mmm that's a hard lesson learned, and thanks for sharing. It is a core struggle of 9s to speak up, take up space in the relationship, and be OK making things uncomfortable for a bit if it means getting what you need. Best wishes on the journey ahead!

I’m a 9. Top love language is physical touch, 2nd is acts of service.

@YouveGotaType

6 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing!

Since there is no much mbti content in recent year having enneagram content is kinda fulfilling my fi dom for wanting to get to know myself more isfp#

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Glad the enneagram is meeting that need!

I’m a 9 and quality time and touch/service are my highest love languages. Words is much lower. Also I disagree with blocking out family disagreements. Feel very aware of my family’s dysfunction and terrible arguments growing up.

@YouveGotaType

22 күн бұрын

It's not that they aren't aware of the dysfunction, and in fact, being aware of what's creating a lack of harmony is one of their greatest gifts and partially what I explained in this video. It's just the choice to ignore/numb/or become withdrawn internally so that they can avoid disrupting whatever the status quo is.

@nariclimbs

22 күн бұрын

@@YouveGotaType Good to understand the distinction, thanks!

I am a type 9 and two top love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. Acts of service is low.

@YouveGotaType

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing

9 w bottom LL as Gifts, top QT, PT, and Words

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙌

I tend to have this view of acting for the good of all humanity and being passive in relationships then feel like a waste of space because of me not doing anything active or right. I feel like a burden in any relationships romantic or platonic. All those different parts just prove that this 9 is a good for nothing failure and can never have peace.

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙏

💜💜💜

@YouveGotaType

6 ай бұрын

🙌

holy crap ... #truth

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

🙌

Any positive traits?

@YouveGotaType

5 ай бұрын

Did you actually watch the video?

I loved the joke. Thank you.

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

🙌

Finally

@YouveGotaType

11 ай бұрын

Hopefully worth the wait...

My ex istp 9 partner hated gifts (unless food, i would bake cakes for his bday which he loved). One time i bought an impulse gift purchase for him and he made me return it LOL

@sharpiesarecool814

9 ай бұрын

Oh and I'm a 4. 4s and 9s had the same, according to the vid, order of love languages. Maybe it's a good match! :D

@YouveGotaType

9 ай бұрын

I gotta say, that doesn't sound like a very 9ish thing to do as they loathe conflict and making someone return a gift would make most 9s shudder as they'd prefer to just accept it in order to keep things upbeat. 5s and 9s mistype a lot, and 5s often hate gifts. Anyway, just throwing it out there! Curios if any other 9s out there would ever force someone to return a gift...

@sharpiesarecool814

9 ай бұрын

@@YouveGotaType haha ikr! Doesn't sound at all 9-ish but I'm pretty sure he is, he is the epitome, funnily enough with a 1 wing not 8 despite his forwardness. He really is a slothful body type and not a mind type. I'm just glad he's very open with me, we are close like that and it's sorta the strange dynamic btwn us. He was very passive and easily taken advantage of outside like at school and with his family, but he's learned to assert himself. I think as a 4 I pushed his buttons a lot haha (sexual 4 here). But he def disintegrates to 6 and integrates to 3. I wouldn't say he disintegrates into 7. He is lazyyyyyyyy and loves his routine and idk he just does everything that a 9 does. In tandem with istp, sure as a 9 he's a "good person" that follows the rules etc., but watch out. They will get what they want in sly ways that won't disturb the peace. BEWARE haha. 9s can get violent too just like any other type. Not saying he was to me, but he can snap. He told me stories. And to be fair with the gift, I asked him if he wanted it and bought it for him even when he said no. So after not listening to him he got annoyed cuz I ignored him. He used to be like a go with the flow amoeba but the longer he was around me the more I rubbed off on him. Honestly istps are moody (I like it lol). But yeah what a big mess I created now that that's over. He was one of my soulmates. We were very on and off cuz he's sensitive (Fe-inferior). He doesn't know enneagram but I bet he would think he's a 5 but he's not intellectually rigorous. He's a dumbass haha (fairly smart but tbh such a slowpoke compared to me).

Aaaahhh, I love acts of service because I never got them... 😅

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

Makes sense!

For me, physical touch is the only love language that tops words of affirmation. After all, if you're hugging and caressing each other, things must be all good in the hood, right? 💜

Soy nueve

@YouveGotaType

3 ай бұрын

Que bueno.

I am suing u for invasion of privacy

@YouveGotaType

3 ай бұрын

😅

This guy didn't have one good thing to say about 9s haha

@YouveGotaType

Ай бұрын

This guy didn't listen to the video 👆but he should listen to those hurt feels. They're the true guide to healing our core issues.

@kennyyuen1600

Ай бұрын

@@YouveGotaType 👌👌

I'm sorry but this is really toxic 🥴 9s, please do your inner work. This does not sound like a healthy partner

@YouveGotaType

8 ай бұрын

This describes a full spectrum of healthy and unhealthy traits. Hope you listened to the full episode.

@honeymoney23

8 ай бұрын

@YouveGotaType I did. I was also in a relationship with a 9 for 4 years lol. I'm not just judging from the sidelines, I have a first rate experience with the behavior described. It was awful

@YouveGotaType

7 ай бұрын

Not judging from the sidelines, but still judging ;) The enneagram is about self-work, not using this framework to call others toxic. After all, something about you chose to be with someone "toxic" for 4 whole years 🚩 Not to say that you aren't doing the hard work of self-critical growth, it's just that your comment didn't reflect that personal growth.

@honeymoney23

7 ай бұрын

@@YouveGotaType fair enough 😂

@gin6632

4 ай бұрын

Any type that is unhealthy, it’s going to be a difficult relationship. I’m a 9, was with an unhealthy 8 for 17 years, he nearly destroyed me. My healthy 9 mum has helped rescue me and made life enjoyable again. It’s not the number it’s the level of health.