At the age of 50, just found out that my mother is a narcissist 😢 and my dad might’ve been one too. My inner child is dying for a warm and loving motherly hug. Started my healing journey and hopefully I can get the peace of mind.

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry you had this experience, Susan. ❤️ I am witnessing you with compassion and cheering you on along your healing journey!

@KateBedellArtist

10 ай бұрын

Me too Susan. I’m almost 60. Xx

@mama66333

8 ай бұрын

I’m so sorry Susan. I was 55 when I learned my mother was narcissistic. It was a shock. I pray you and I find the strength to heal ourselves.

@sheliawilliams3458

8 ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤sending love and support

@bradybunch92

7 ай бұрын

I too am 50 and you could’ve written that about me. My entire life I’ve been searching for someone to give me that motherly love. It’s exhausting. My mother was completely self-absorbed and more concerned about making herself look like an amazing successful person when in reality it was all a façade.

The inner child is still looking for her mother. I wish you were my mother. I'm sure life would have been totally different ^ ,^

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

I'm witnessing you with deep compassion.

@CatincaWolf

5 жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole This comment just made me cry. You are unbelievable and you know exactly what you are talking about!

@tammyreneemc5552

5 жыл бұрын

I feel the exact same way!

@anufdo9554

3 жыл бұрын

Be the mother your inner child wants or bring Terri cole in and give you little girl allllll the love it’s possible Nd she will heal

@lacincilla2533

2 жыл бұрын

@@anufdo9554 yes !

I need to heal from this. I want my life back

@terri_cole

10 ай бұрын

I have a bunch of videos on my channel about the mother wound that can help: www.youtube.com/@terri_cole/search?query=mother%20wound ❤️

My mother is a narcissist and I've been begging her for love as long as I can remember. I'm sick of letting it ruin my adult life, thank you so much for being here for us and for telling me what I needed to hear.

@formerfundienowfree4235

Жыл бұрын

Okay you're an adult now and you have resources available to you that were not available to your mother while she was parenting you. There is a embarrassment of riches of online experts in their field talking about all this stuff, there is a plethora of insight that parents of yesteryear just didn't have so start owning your own stuff.

@dreamkitty

Жыл бұрын

@@formerfundienowfree4235 you wrote all that just to prove that you lack the ability the reader. unfortunate you’d project in a youtube comment section.

@lunaloynaz-lopez2318

Жыл бұрын

@@dreamkitty thank you

@autumnelise801

Жыл бұрын

My dad was a narcissist it deff effected my parenting I hope you heal God bless

@Dheerajvasireddy

Жыл бұрын

Hey, I feel you.. I have the same scene too… I am slowly climbing that abyss with the help of these videos.. really Terri is very nice and helpful.. ❤I wish we all had a parent this nice for real…I am finally realizing what I missed and trying to grey the present and ignore all that Shiite coming my way

I’m 29 years old and I’m just learning that my mother’s been abusing me and my siblings for our entire lives. I can’t stop crying. It’s so traumatizing you realize that the person who was supposed to protect you is the person who has been harming you all along. My mom would put us down and belittle us and make fun of us. My mother used to call me fat and ugly and make fun of me to my siblings. If I cried, she called me “too sensitive”. She always made me do what she didn’t want to do and would say “If you don’t do this then you don’t love me” and we were forced to do so many things.

@kushprince7205

3 ай бұрын

I can relate to that 😢😢that just was my mom i don't consider her as my mother to me is the apposite she called me skinny ugly unworth living she wished i was never born

@user-q2Rftt8

23 күн бұрын

I can relate. It's so sad that we can't choose our parents 😢

@MillennialMountainMama

10 күн бұрын

@@user-q2Rftt8Actually we do choose our parents on the other side before we are born into this current incarnation. I have chosen to reincarnate many times and I choose my mother in this life to learn how to stand up for myself. In my prior life, I chose a mother who died in childbirth when I was young. I have chosen @busive parents in my other past life as well. When I first heard about this, I thought no way, but as I have gotten older and had many dreams about my past lives, I have found this to be true. The soul can chose all sorts of hardships in varying degrees, to learn from when we are here on this earth. For example, a soul could choose an easy life or a hard one, or a life that’s easy at first, but hard later, or vice versa, a life that’s hard at first but easy later, like my current life now. There can be repeated themes that a soul chooses to endure through many incarnations to grow and learn. Blessings.

I needed this, desperately. I'm 37 and my mother still effects me to this day. I went limited contact a few years ago. Im to the point of cutting off all contact with her completely. It's a heartbreaking, life-impacting thing to have a mean, delusional, gossiping "mother" Prayers for all of you that have found yourselves here ❤

@terri_cole

9 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love your way ❤️

I am now at the forgiving stage at the age of 69. My narc mother is 96 and totally dependent on me. Life is so absurd. I hope she rests in peace soon so that I can have a few years of emotional freedom. Women have the power to save or ruin the world with their behavior toward their children 😢

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

Im so sorry. My moms 90. Im thankfully 4 states away. I bet its very veey hard being around yours. How are you doin now?

I could never find a mother's day card. All of them said things like "You're so helpful, caring,loving, there for me, and on and on. I would be lieing if I sent her one of those cards. I am 46 years old and have just now ended all contact with my mother. I now know she only cares about herself. She has always cared only for herself. It took me 46 years to realize she never loved me and she is a horrible vulgar woman.

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

I hear you and I am am holding space for you. It is ok to be honest about what you need and what she is and is not capable of.

@Mulder2032

2 жыл бұрын

I have that same struggle.

@lacincilla2533

2 жыл бұрын

@@Mulder2032 so many of us do, unfortunately 💕

@nestleblack9468

Жыл бұрын

OMG SAME!!! no Mother's day card could ever describe my mean mama...I always told my cousin this!!

@Nani-tx2ld

4 ай бұрын

Same! I would always get the simplest one I could find, because the majority of them described a relationship that I never knew with my mother, and I'm not one to lie about something that has affected me so much. It's nice to see I'm not alone in this.

Thanks so much, Terri. I burst out crying while watching it - I am 43, and really feel lonely. I’ve known for several years that my Dad was/is emotionally unavailable but as for my mother, it’s clicked just recently that I was her emotional support in my childhood. Many of my friends were like her - i was their psychologist and when they healed, they left me. Now it’s time to leave this pattern behind and start something new.

@terri_cole

8 ай бұрын

I am sorry you experienced this 💕 I am cheering you on as you start something new!

@tanahurt1991

4 ай бұрын

THANKS So Much.... I'm Currently 61 yrs old. w/ 3 Grown Kids.. ( I Raised Them Alone) & I Was NOT MY MOM ❤ My Mom Left Me When I was 5 , Signed Me Off To My Father & His Young Pregnant Wife.... ‼️ IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST THING THAT Could EVER HAVE Happened To ME 💕 (Not Knowing That Then)😮 My Mom is Still Alive - She's 85 Yr Old & I Have Always Just Accepted That She WAS NOT Or ( Obviously) NEVER Going To Be A GOOD Caring Mom.. But I'm Not Really Sure if it's Because All My Children Are Out of The House or Maybe It's My Age 😅 🤷 But I Find Myself Constantly Ruminating About Her & Getting Really Bummed 😢.. But Why Now , I thought I Had FULLY Accepted This.. lol Sorry For the Long Post. YOU Are Simply An Amazing Woman 💯🤩

I was screaming crying last night because my narcissistic mother is destroying me and turning everyone against me. It hurts so bad.

@Ana-rb7ws

Жыл бұрын

This is very hard. Calling out the narcissistic mother has repercussions. It is better to move in silence and move out and move on, and setting up boundaries. Take heart. Things will get better.

@soniahathaway1

11 ай бұрын

I agree with comment above. I have gone no contact with mother and my minion siblings. I have had to grieve, feel the anger and sadness. But sfter 60 years and attracting narc partners in my life, I finally figured it put. Its tough, but the journey is enriching and we are strong enough to survive snd thrive. 🤗😅

@Ana-rb7ws

11 ай бұрын

In my religion, cutting out blood relatives is forbidden. Also, having the mentality of cutting everyone out will leave us with no one in our lives. I think the matter depends on the closeness of the relationship and the circumstances. In my case, if it’s a non-essential relationship, I generally move out in silence. If it’s an essential relationship, I distance myself and put up boundaries. Also, in my experience now, and having had the time to reflect, I realize that most people are not narcissistic. Rather, they have narcissistic ways of dealing with and reacting to problems. We all have some of these qualities. Anyway, I just wanted to put the message out there that cutting everyone out has not been the answer for me. It took a lot of inner work to overcome my own codependency. Now that I have a better grip on that, other people’s behavior has a less impact on me. Also, prayer is essential for safety. Hope this message helps someone.

@Linguaexpress

9 ай бұрын

Welcome to the club

@Ana-rb7ws

9 ай бұрын

I wanted to come back here and update further because I am on a path of truth and recovery, and this requires me to speak the truth. As I mentioned earlier, cutting out people has not been, and is not, I believe, the answer. Rather, it is to look at our own actions and reflect upon ourselves. As I said before, most people are not narcissists, rather they have narcissistic ways of dealing with things. Often, this happens in response to something in our own behavior, because we too have narcissistic tendencies, as everyone does. The best action is to correct oneself instead of trying to call others out. There is a time and a place where calling others out is appropriate, but that is almost always in the minority of times. Majority of the time, the correct answer is to correct oneself. This is a long and humbling process, and really takes an honest heart to be able to look at something and realize honestly within ourselves where we went wrong and how we had contributed to the situation. Often, correcting that aspect alone resolves the situation. Life is a difficult and humbling journey, and often the problem and solution starts and ends with us. I’m not speaking about situations where flagrant abuse is going on, rather about situations where we are equal actors and players. So, take heart and do the right thing. It is hard, sometimes very hard, but it does lead to the peace and harmony that we all so desperately seek.

Knowing that healing is possible, lifted a the weight of an elephant off my chest. I can... breathe without wanting to cry, for the first time in the longest time. I hope my fellow hurting sisters can find the same relief. I will do my best to pass on this message. Thank you Terri, I love you. x

@1:09 admit it is true @2:26 Questioning @4:47 mourning /give up the idea that she will change @10:20 3 Qs *who does this person remind me of? Where have I felt like this before? Why is that dynamic familiar to me?

@gypsydragongal

5 жыл бұрын

@14:54 Become the good mother to yourself @16:30 Find a good and kind mentor

The worst part is when people (family & outsiders) tell you how great your mother is, and how grateful you should be so you feel so guilty and crazy for the pain you experienced. I've had rose-tinted glasses for so long, but I would have deep-seated resentment and anger whenever I visited my family of origin.

@terri_cole

5 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ It is painful when people do not understand and say you should be grateful.

The gap between the way you wished you were loved and how you actually were treated is directly proportional to the depth of love that you feel both then and now. You are not too sensitive. You are simply more so

my inner child was seen and i was allowed to cry. i went no contact 2 years ago because i just couldnt take it anymore after i was ruined financially because of them. i’ve had a hard time bouncing back because i don’t have anyone in my life i can go to for anything. but i remembered that growing up i did everything for myself that i wish was done for me and how can i not love myself for that?!?! thank you for this video 🖤 i hope to attract more women like me who just want to love and be loved 🥰

@terri_cole

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing that 💕 What an amazing shift to self-love!

The word mother is always associated with a feeling of warmth and nurturing. I envy my friends because I have actually seen their close bond and even when she scolds them it's ok because she always has that loving tone. Whereas my mother has always insulted and humiliated me, she says the most hurtful things, I don't think I have ever been hurt this way by anyone even during the worst fights of my life.

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️

@dumsycat6976

Ай бұрын

Please hold on and know u can do it u r extremely powerful and capable lots of love to ub

Thanks. Boys have to deal with this, too.

Thank you so much for this video I needed to hear this! Especially me being a pregnant first time mom with a daughter! I definitely do not want to continue this painful cycle. IT STOPS WITH ME!

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

🙌🙌🙌

I forgive my mom and myself. She found her own happiness after the divorce with my father. She has moved on and I move on too. Thank you. 🙏❤️

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

Wonderful. Thank you for sharing this!!

The "gleeful" story of humiliation! My mother started mine when I was three days old, and she took me home from the hospital and started feeding me on a strict schedule, with strictly-rationed amounts. (This all changed to complete on-demand feeding when my brothers were born.) For the rest of her life, she would always relish telling anyone who'd listen about how I'd cry even after feeding (hmmm, maybe I wanted touch or attention?) and how she called the pediatrician and he said, "She's just a greedy little pig." Sixty years later, I wondered whether he had ever said that at all.

@AngelBien

10 ай бұрын

What a nutcase not to feed her own newly born child. “Greedy little pig” for a child?! Wtf. She has a scarcity mindset and is frustrated she can’t provide you with what you needed. She’s embarrassed by her own incompetence as a mother. I hope you know you were totally wronged in the stupidest manner in this situation. Please don’t react in any embarrassed way of she brings that up again. It’s not even funny, just stupid- displaying her own incompetence and stupidity like that

@Lyrielonwind

7 ай бұрын

My mother lies more than she talks. They just want to mess your brains so they can manage you easier. They want slaves.

I came to this realisation about 2 months ago. Has been hard to process and now navigating this new relationship with her and set boundaries for myself

@terri_cole

3 ай бұрын

Way to go on setting boundaries!

Nailed it...Repetition of the relationship as either the “perpetrator” or “victim” of the abusive experience.

'You did not deserve that shit!' I have wounds to heal for sure.. But thank you for making this journey way less intimidating and for reminding us how capable and resilient we are!

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

I'm here for you and cheering you on!!

The predators are laying in wait for the wounded women I want to heal my innerchild so much, this episode is most helpful, your mssg of empowerment is appreciated.

me watching as a 23 years old man with bpd. "become a good mother and protect your children from your cluster b mother" 😭

Growing up... I adapted Nick and Sharon from the Young and the Restless as my parents. I even wrote their names on a paper and submitted it to my teacher. I always wonder why I did it. Funny enough I used to watch the show (idk y I was allowed) and now I see y I liked them and y I'd wish for them to be my parents. The power of the subconscious. Thanks Terri.

@melissah8268

5 ай бұрын

Roseanne and Dan 😅

The saddest reality is first thing a human makes relationship is with their mom...and some ppl have the first relationship ever dented!!! For life!!!

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

So so true, Ambica. Thank you for being here ❤️

Wow! I love this! Thank you so much!!!! I've seen therapist before, but they never explain things like this. I have a mother wound and couldn't figure how to process my emotions and pain in a healthy way. This definitely helps!!!!! Thank you so much again!!!

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

I am so happy to hear it was helpful to you. You absolutely can process and heal in a healthy way, and I am cheering you on!!

@lovelyana4003

5 жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole thank you!!!!

Sending so much love to all who are healing ❤️

My mother died when i was 1 year old. took me a while to admit that i have a mother wound, even though it wasn’t her fault. Thanks for the video, i feel like i can begin healing now.

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Frederick ❤️

"We want a do-over." SO TRUE!

Thank you ! I just want to lay down and make myself small , Close to you and listen to Your warm voice . 🙏❤️

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad it's helpful to you.

Your presence is just so healing. Thank you

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

Thank YOU!

I'm blown away!!! You really know how to get to the root of trauma. It's deeper than depression, deeper than anxiety deeper than ptsd suicide and so on. These type of issues are very crippling. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!❤❤❤❤❤

I guess almost all of us repeat our patterns as they are subconsciously embedded/ transferred from one generation to another. That's why it's also said, "History keeps repeating itself but man never learns from it". But maybe "History repeats itself so that we become more aware of our subconscious, our collective unconscious ". Thank you so much for your messages.😊🙏

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

So true! Thank you for being here ❤️

Absolutely mind blown! Literally had an epiphany during this video. Had to stop to breath then finished watching. So deep! So simply explained! Thank you! Loving you back, beautiful soul! 💗💗💗

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your epiphany!

I am over 80 and this has helped to explain a lot! Thank you. X

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

I am so glad to hear it ❤️ You're so welcome.

I can not stress enough your gift to those of us with mothers who have inflicted damage. Permission to be whole and to heal. Wow. It's like seeing and hearing for the first time. Pure joy. Thank you.

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

I am so honored by your kind words, this made my day! I'm holding space for you, you matter and you absolutely have permission to heal and have healthy love.

@motekewasobera9183

Жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole iiiioufiy😅😢’m rram zeinb ojobojq i d ddestauspspmsspa😮c z a xcc,a apadg

Thank You - Everything you said my heart needed to hear - Beautiful and powerful video 🙏

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!! That comment made my day.

I have accepted that my mother did the best that she knew how. I just went through some of the biggest challenges in my life and I trusted my mother-in-law to support me, but she chose her children’s well being over mine. I guess I wanted to find a new mother figure.

Some of us did move out, get an apartment, a "job" and create a life for ourselves at the mature age of 12. Not, may I add, by choice.

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

I am witnessing you, mama, and sending you strength. Thank you for sharing.

@sgist7824

4 жыл бұрын

I didn't have to move out, but was told to get a full time job in summer months. From then until 18 I worked 60 hours a week. On my one day off , Sunday , I'd get woken up with hoover at the door really early, to get out of the house and 'not be indoors all day's. I feel your pain, was never wanted. I then of course saved enough money, and left the country at 18 to live with my maternal grandmother who was lonely and getting old. I believe my mother claims to have been unloved by her mother, it's a cycle I do not want to pass on to my son. Leaving was what saved me, my younger brother is 40 now and already displaying npd tendencies

This video had me tearing up because it spoke to my soul. I needed to hear that I am loveable. My mom was a jehovah's witnesses who refused blood to my brother and sister and they passed away!

@astrialindah2773

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so so sorry! What did they pass away from...?

@shaniecegullison

29 күн бұрын

😢😢😢wowwwww

I don’t know how to thank you except to say thank you, thank you, thank you for the explanation of a mother wound and that I need to take a look at all conflicts with family brothers, sisters and my mother in that light. It is such an emotional realization. ❤️

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

It's my pleasure. I'm happy it resonated with you and that you found it helpful.

@amygentry4351

4 жыл бұрын

It is emotional. But letting go is liberating. Not allowing myself to be manipulated and used. There's a part of me that wants to scorn her and a part of me that wants her to figure it out on her own

I protect my kids from my mother because everything you said. And she does turn on them like she did me. As long as I do good she's in my corner. Once I make a mistake she doesn't know me or she calls me sensitive, unacceptable

@terri_cole

2 жыл бұрын

I'm holding space for you with so much compassion, Nathalie 💕

Thank you so much for this. Wow this makes sense why when I got a mentor and started reading books of the women I admire, my mother lost her cool because “she’s enough for me” 🙄 here’s to continuing to mother myself 🙋🏾‍♀️

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

I'm witnessing you and sending you strength.

I lost my beloved mother at age 8. I have lots of wounds & grievances from my blood aunts and grandmother. I just had an epiphany that I think this wound belongs to them, my desired 2nd mothers. I'm 34 and it is soo heavy going through these wounds & several others. You're doing God's work, thank you. I've shared this with an online support group of MDs, motherless daughters, particularly loss at an early age 🙏💓

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. I'm glad it's resonating with you. I'm sending you strength.

@Megan6772

3 жыл бұрын

@@terri_cole thank you so much 💓

@georginajovanovic

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah where I felt that the other elders take the responsibility to take over the mothering role when she passed on and they did not. How do we give it to ourselves?

Can you just be my mom ?! Lmao. Thank you so much for the videos you post. I’m unable to afford insurance or trauma therapy out of pocket, so these really help me. You’re a freakin rockstar for helping so many people ❤️ I can’t say thanks enough!

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

❤❤

I realized my mother was a cover narcissist when she was in her death bed. I finally had the talk with her and told her that she had been very critical and mean to me but that I forgave her. She passed away a week later. It was like she was waiting for us to open up to each other so that she could transition. But it still hurt and I am working on myself to overcome my mother wound and the painful marriage I had with a real narcissist. I deserve to heal. I deserve to be loved and respected by my siblings and my next partner.

@terri_cole

26 күн бұрын

You absolutely deserve those things 💕 I'm glad you were able to have that conversation with your mother before she transitioned.

My mother passed away a few months ago This (and the previous video) was so helpful in understanding that I am not alone in my situation. Thank you.

I'm so glad to have found this series. I have kids I absolutely love to pieces, but given my wounds,I often worry that ok going to mess up my relationships with my kids and husband. I know I'm too critical, and I try not to be. I hope to continue to grow in understanding of all of this. I do wish I could "stop the dance" with my mom and heal, avoid those repeating realities.

Thank you for posting this! I wish I had seen it sooner. I’ve felt guilty for keeping my children away from some family members and keeping my distance. Now I feel free and know deep down I’ve made the right choices for my family. I just wish I had made them a lot sooner. ❤️

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

When we know better, we do better. You did the best you could at the time. Thank you for sharing here, I'm witnessing you with compassion.

I felt like my mother loved me. She was brought up in an orphanage n the early 1900’s, and her parents were alive. I suspect she did not know how to cherish her children. I believe that’s why I spent Monday thru Fridays at the baby sitter. I was so, so lonely and scared. I was quiet and scorned by the baby sitter. I was faithfully whipped on Tuesday morning by the other baby sitter. Finally the 3rd lady told my mom I wasn’t sleeping at night. My mom told the Dr. He told my mom to stop leaving me at the baby sitters by the week. That’s how I got rescued.

God Thank you! You have said what has been going around in my head for the past 40+ years. After the beatings from my brother who was 8 years older than me ...for 3 years I was beaten constantly starting at 10 yo ... my mother encouraged it...denied it when I told her about the beatings ..and yes, was gleeful about it. Thank you for your series. I will be watching and healing myself. The repeating realities are drowning me at my career and work.

@ginaprespare1316

5 жыл бұрын

Go into therapy, friend. A mother who didn't protect is a very difficult situation to heal from alone. Blessings for healing.

Thank you so much! These specific mother wound videos came up on my home page the very day my mother was being hurtful and mean. I’m almost 50, and it hasn’t ended. I’ve been exposed to this all my life. 😞😢

@terri_cole

11 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with compassion and sending love your way ❤️ (I have a few new mother wound episodes coming out next month, so stay tuned in these were helpful!)

@vivianespina5067

7 ай бұрын

At 62 I still find myself looking for my mothers acknowledgment and recognition😢😢 yearning for her love and compassion. She was abandoned by her mom, and I’ve tried talking to her and acknowledge her pain, but damn I’m the daughter, and I desperately need my momma😭😭

A few days ago my bio"logical" mother blamed my husband for my anxiety and panic attacks (when he is the only reason I have my sanity still) that I get whenever I talk to her and told him that I was born like this! The irony is, we are 2 sisters both with anxiety, both have gone seeking professional help!! P. S I am so thankful for this video,so eye-opening and releafing. From now on I'll try and be the good mother to myself :) thank you once again ❤️❤️❤️

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hear you and I"m gad the video resonated.

Very helpful and appreciated. I am in therapy now for a couple of years and it has been established that my mother was one of the 6% of the population - and suffered narcissistic personality disorder - and I wore blinders my entire life - trying new strategies to make things better - until she threw me into the trench, full abandonment, when I challenged her (finally) because at 97 - after my stepfather passed away - she surrounded herself with sycophants who were ripping her off and I worried for her health and safety. One of them sent me his naked photograph and when I protested - she accused me - falsely - of attempting suicide and I was trucked off to Bellevue to prove my sanity. Then she wouldn't see me unless I went to a psychiatrist and became a "properly medicated: Stepford Daughter - and she had her attorney and she herself kept trying to intervene to see of medication was being prescribed. Luckily for me the psychiatrist I see was ethical enough to prevent their meddling and not answer their questions - and it was obvious to him that no medication was needed. I am putting forth so much detail so others can see how bad it can get - despite (and becoming enmeshed was my own fault since my brother and father had died and I was afraid) serving her needs my whole life. So healing seems an uphill battle at times - and emotionally difficult - but worth doing - because I would like to know what it feels like to be loved and to love. I would like that in my life.

@journeywithvanessa

5 ай бұрын

You deserve to love and be loved ❤ Don’t quit!

@Knucklehead123

5 ай бұрын

@@journeywithvanessa Thank you. Still working towards that. Feeling better too.

This helped me reaffirm and understand some of my mother’s issues that still affect me somehow at almost 50 years old. I have started to speak up for myself to my mother and have gotten some apologies. I wish you could be my therapist Terri Cole, not many therapists speak so clearly, directly with pure empathy , engagement and love you have! Thank you eternally!

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

Aw, thank you for your kind words. I am cheering you on to keep speaking up for yourself. I am sending you strength.

It is so hard to accept and realise how I was treated. I remember mother saying to me don't call me mum call me my first name!! 😮what kind of mother does that!! I love hearing my son call me mummy. Thank goodness for my mother in law who mother's me❤ thank you for your videos! Really eye opening.

@terri_cole

5 ай бұрын

I'm so glad you found a mother in your mother-in-law ❤️

I never had kids because of what they did to me. As a kid, I knew that history repeats itself and I couldn't take the chance of doing something fucked up to my kids, so I never had any. And I was right to do so because my sister has 3 kids and she did to them what my mom and dad both did to us. She took on both roles and her oldest hasn't talked to her in nearly 5 years because he was sick of her drama. That could've been me had I had kids. So glad I never had any. That has been the best decision I've ever made in my life. By far.

@1986nitya

5 жыл бұрын

Same here!

@goddessnoir290

5 жыл бұрын

Me too. I would love my nonexistent kids to not scar them as my mother did me.

@HeatherLynnfire

4 жыл бұрын

Amen!! I did the same thing because I knew I didn’t want my kids hating me... thought process way back when. It was a good choice for me. Now that I’m older it’s crazy how this mother wound does in fact impact me and I have had zero contact with her for years. Zero contact since I was a young teenager.

@musicmoneymaker6457

4 жыл бұрын

I am almost 50 and I never had kids either. And never married because I kept choosing the wrong man-children. Many say I’m patient, stern yet loving and would of been a great mom. Sometimes I think about adopting an older child or teen but I’ve never been financially or relationship wise Stable enough so I’m not hard on myself. Just wasn’t meant to be I guess or not in the Universe’s plan. But I still believe one day I will marry someone who is ready for a serious and loving relationship.

@wonderbubbles4092

4 жыл бұрын

I'm the same... not willing to do to my kids what was done to me. I'm proud of the insight and love inside you that led to this very wise choice.

Wow thank you so nuch for this video you brought me to tears!! Wow you have 💯 my whole life w my hurtful mother and to this day it is still going on I am done and going thru such a huge healing!!! In the name of Jesus AMEN 🙌🌱💫✨🙏

If parents can't be good parents, they have no business having children My mother was extremely emotionally abusive to me as a child and continues many of the same behaviors. I will accept that she had no business having me. But I forgive her for her poor choices. I am mourning the loss of a mother I never had. Now, I am healing these wounds.

Thank you 🙏 I’ve tried my whole life to be so different from my mother with raising my children and look back today and see so many experiences where I was. I believe this is a hey I’ve built so many unhealthy relationships with people.

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I hear you and I acknowledge how far you've come.

Thanks great people here are willing to heal better world is coming ❤🙏

Thank you Terri for this wonderful therapy session 😉. It is indeed a hard path I am on. Both parents narcissistic mean mentally ill abusers/users. And 3 brothers that I also had to cut all contact with as they were very irrespectful, mean and verbally abusive too. But God sent me those unbalanced people so I can evolve and become the best version of myself and mostly so I can love myself! I am now almost 60 yrs old, and I have healed I would say at 75%. For now, I feel there will always be a part of me that wishes that things would have been different. My old - and soon to die - mother is the worst of all. She has been dividing everyone in the « family » so she can control us better. She is continually doing a smear campaign on all of us. I have removed myself completely from her life since July 2023 and in a lot of ways feel so much better. I fo not miss her at all. I am grateful for God’s help and support in that transition. I know he has sent you again today- I had discovered you many years ago. God bless you Terri!

@terri_cole

Ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and also cheering you on for all the healing you've done, Sylvie ❤️ Amazing!

Healing your innerchild is so key, tell your innerchild you can and are able to take care of innerchild.

My mother has a tendency to put me down in social settings. e.g.) in front of my school teachers(although I was a topper in class), when my father's colleagues and family come over for dinner (I hate these social family chit chat), in front of relatives...etc. she has very poor taste of shaming me in public. There was a time in high school when I used to pray someone would get rid of her. complaining to my father is useless because he lost his mother at age 15, and he holds 'a mother' very high. even worse, my sister(elder) has copied my mother and she also does the same thing quite often. ( after watching your videos, I think she has quite a few traits of a 'golden child' . she thinks it is her right to hurt me. insult me.)I have always felt very alone. and always envied my classmates who had parents who celebrated their children's success and genuinely felt happy for their children's happiness. I feel very sad when I realize that what I am happy about, what I am proud of, what I celebrate, is not a shared feeling with them. I cannot remember a single birthday when my parents were not fighting. it is a monkey house. (luckily, I am away now, finally!) I have felt and still feel very withdrawn. I often wonder if I should watch movies or read books or comics to get a better idea of what normal relations and families look like and to learn how to interact well. You mentioned that we should find a mentor or/and close friend, but that is not an option, because there is no one as 'close friend' to begin with. I haven't gone out with friends for years. I probably won't be here if someone near me had resolved this problem. I recently attended a two day seminar on interpersonal skills where the instructor divided the attendies into four groups based on answers to specific questions, which classified me into 'introvert thinker' which, when I ask myself, seems to make sense. I don't talk unless there is a necessity to talk. even when there are people and it has been silent for long I hate being asked personal questions I become restlest when people try to come too close I **hate** family and relative get-togethers (I don't want to meet any of them) certain things can keep me thinking for days, months and even years social gatherings are often more energy consuming and stressful than energizing. I think people around me don't feel close to me either, but that is fine, as it is better than getting messy. The above is a fact, but as long as I live, not facing situations , and avoiding interacting with people /(including the problematic ones on occasions) is not an option. Therefore, it would be very helpful if you could discuss topics like 'skills to become street wise, for those who missed it in their upbringing' , ' how to make sure monsters never mess-up your special days' 'handling troublesome people with elegance, grace and dignity' I have searched these topics, but they are too obscure. Thank you for your videos. they have been very helpful.

@MariaJimenez-ye9sn

3 жыл бұрын

I have been very touched by your story. There is no such a thing as becoming street wise without living. I am 49 now and been wounded many times but I would extremely recommend you read about manipulation and narcissism. If you can crack that one you will be safe in the world. While writing this I had an idea. Have you thought on talking in front of a mirror. Try saying to yourself nice things. If you can't find any which I am sure you have make them up!! Your subconscious mind will start to believe in them. Listen to affirmations they do help a lot to change your mind set. Hope it helps. Take care of yourself. X

Thank you, Terri! You are a lifesaver.🙏

@kjtamf

4 жыл бұрын

April Thompson 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I forgive all who have wronged me, to begin the healing process. The inner child must heal in order for the adult child to heal. There are many books available, one great book is "the journey from abandonement to healing" by author- Susan Anderson

you are amazing and lovable too... and yes world needs a healer professionist as you are dear Terri . thank you

You’re right Terri! I don’t deserve this shit💩! I am on the case looking for a kind and caring therapist. Thank you 🙏!

FINALLY something really helpful. Most specialists go on and on analysing or describing the problem in depth, and then they describe their own traumatic experiences or other people's experiences (the experiences of their clients usually) in great detail, but they somehow never offer any serious solutions even if they assure you they have healed themselves and all their clients now feel better. Vague clichés like "so start loving yourself more" (but how?) are usually the most you get after 30 minutes of opening old wounds. Your words really touched my heart, and gave me specific answers and directions, thank you!!

You have this immense amount of piece n warmth in ur presence and voice .Feeling blessed !! Found ur channel.Except my gratitude 🙏🏻💞💖

I just found your channel yesterday by accident and have never heard of a mother wound thank you for making these videos and for giving people a path to understanding and healing from their trauma

@terri_cole

4 ай бұрын

I am so glad you found my channel ❤️

@laurenhosford3503

4 ай бұрын

@@terri_cole me too because you are literally saving my life and my mind right now.. I had no idea that I was going through all of this and now I’m going to find a therapist and get the help that I need and this gives me a place to start.. I’ve been listening to you at work all day.. I have ADHD and am an only child.. my mother was so overbearing and controlling and emotionally unavailable and immature.. I have so many issues with how I view myself because of that very low self worth and self esteem need to be perfect etc.. but thanks to you I can find a way to heal and I do realize that it’s not my mothers fault because she didn’t have that love and affection she needed as a child growing up and neither did her mother so it’s definitely generational trauma and I’m going to work on things within myself so that I can be a better me for myself and for my bonus daughter.. so thank you also you voice is very soothing so it makes it easy to listen to you :) hope you’re well

@terri_cole

4 ай бұрын

I am so glad to hear my videos have been this helpful to you, Lauren, and I am also glad to hear you're looking for a therapist to get the help you need and deserve ❤️❤️

Thank you so much. Theses two Mother Wound episodes you've provided have been so clear and valuable to me. Recently I have uncovered my inner child and mother wounding. I was not overtly neglected or abused, but my mother was not able to be present for me and provide an essential foundation. I have identified the patterns further with the help of your first video and now I clearly know how to work through these and create a new future for myself. Deep gratitude and blessings to you Terri.

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

So glad you're here, Kristine! I appreciate you ❤️

I've realized that all the woman on my mother's side experienced mother wounds. They have all healed what they lacked in childhood with their children, but then do other things that hurt their own children. For example, my grandma was absent in my mom's life so she was always present in ours. However, she was overbearing and very critical of me and my sister, and I grew up feeling not good enough and seeking approval. Our relationship is healing, but its been very turbulent.

Thank you! I literally have experienced all of those same reality repeats... and what rings especially true to my heart is when you said if you’ve become a mother yourself you begin to know and realize it all... since I became a mother what I experienced is that I started to question my own childhood experiences and started to see them in better light, and at the same time also my very “previous” friendships started to have problems and crash down because they have really just been the same kind of relationships with my mother, and since I started to realize my mother wounds and start healing, the wrong relationships/friendships also went away. It’s never easy to lose friends but I guess it’s inevitable for the process of healing as well. I hope like you said we’ll become better mothers ourselves along this healing process.

@clarissaluigi4631

5 жыл бұрын

Sorry, I meant very “precious” friendships, the ones I cared so very much about at the time.

@terri_cole

5 жыл бұрын

I'm witnessing you with compassion and sending you strength and light.

What I exactly needed , but for my case , I think that I was aware early on that there wasn't something wrong with me , that I had value even if no one mentions it , I thought there must be a problem somewhere , but not in me 😂 so I was doing the first steps without knowing it was a thing . Thank you for increasing my awarness . God bless you 💝💝💝

Thank you. I needed to hear all of that

Thank you so much for making this video for women like me. Thank you so very much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@terri_cole

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

I'm so grateful I found you on you tube ,I'm on my healing journey thankyou

@terri_cole

9 ай бұрын

I am glad you found your way here! 💕

There is so much that I have repressed about the memory of my mother. Most of my memories of her are not good. Am taking the responsibility to heal myself because I can't keep living this anymore. Repeating the dynamic in my current relationships.

God bless you & your work Terri Cole!...Yes!...This video DID add value to my life!

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Helen ❤️ So glad it did!

Thank you so much Terri for your sincere efforts in helping people like me who were terribly impacted by narcissistic mother and infected with severe mother wounds. I'm turning 37 this year and it is just recently i learned and understand through watching your videos what i have been through in my dark past with my narcissistic mother. I am starting healing myself now and i realized that its not easy, its very difficult picking up the broken pieces of my life because i really was broken into pieces severely because of what i experienced with my narcissistic mother. I want to say that, i can feel the sincerity, the genuineness of your efforts in helping individuals like me. I love your videos.Thank you so much Terri!

This is the healthiest review of the Mother Wound and subsequent healing I've heard/read. Thank you.

🙏 thank you. Been having consecutive dreams of being shamed by my mother for seeking intimacy from men who have not been good to me. It’s all messed up, but I have a platform to start healing this mother wound.

This hits deep Your so great with comforting and validating us ❤❤❤❤❤ thank you terri

@terri_cole

28 күн бұрын

I'm so glad to hear that ❤️❤️

My mother has had a traumatic brain injury my entire life which causes her to not be able to empathize with others or emotionally connect. It’s been a long journey because I haven’t met another person in my situation but thank you so much for making your worksheets available and helping us heal this nasty mother wound ❤️

@terri_cole

10 күн бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and sending love ❤️ I hope the worksheets are helpful!

Thank you , tears are streaming down my face , all these years i had no name for what my hateful abusive mother had done to me. I only knew i never understood what i did or why i wasnt worthy of her love. This has been so healing to me. I wish i had found you sooner. Thank you

@terri_cole

9 ай бұрын

I see you and I am witnessing you with so much compassion ❤️

Oh my God Terri! This is definitely my mother. I am 47 years old and she stills shames and embarrasses me in front of my children and grandchildren or anyone for that matter! She recently did something that I talked over with my therapist and YES his advice was similar to yours. I am also often drawn to similar relationships in others who are just as critical!!!

@terri_cole

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing ❤️ It makes sense you're drawn to similar relationships when it is what you've known. You're not alone!

This is sooo soothing. Thank you 6:00 10:20

Thank you. Your compassion and understanding was a great gift to me this Thanksgiving. I am on a healing journey at age 58 and so thankful for your discussions of the mother wound.

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

Love love love this! I'm so glad you're here!

This was a great confirmation of the work I have been doing with the Mother wound.

@terri_cole

3 жыл бұрын

❤️

Thank you for sharing this message and being one of those caring voices 🙏🏼💙

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

You're so welcome Lynn ❤️

Thank you for your love and compassion. I have been binge-watching your videos, trying to find something (I don't even know what) to give me hope.

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being here. I hope you find what you're looking for.

These steps are practical and lovely. Looking forward to using these to heal. Thank you !

@terri_cole

Жыл бұрын

You're so welcome! ❤️

Finally watched the mother wound video. Some of the comments about being reparented, self compassion, etc made me tear up. I definitely figured I had one, but my mother is a covert narc. I am actually a two year old teacher, but I am by far the hardest on myself. I couldn’t imagine cussing at one of my kids no matter how they drive me crazy, but I do it to myself all the time. There’s such a big disconnect for me. But I guess I need to allow myself to see my worth as a human of unconditional love, etc. I am definitely conflicted and working on these things. Thank you for these videos. I actually have a BS in psych.

@terri_cole

7 ай бұрын

I am witnessing you with so much compassion and cheering you on ❤️

Oooooo god this is sooooo true I have no words... it even hurts to listen to the truth . If I only had you as therapist 10 years ago....it hurts but I am healing🙏🏾 thank you ❤️

@terri_cole

4 жыл бұрын

I got you, mama!

🙏 thanks Terry you have put in words what this painful wound has done to me. Thanks for your love and will to “mother us” ❤️🥰 blessings and I will continue to see more of your videos.

Trying to help people, and misunderstandings are the ones that get me into trouble.

Thank you for your kind words. I am enough. I Love deeply❣️

@terri_cole

8 ай бұрын

❤️❤️❤️