I swear you’re the most relatable person for me on this whole platform :)

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

That’s nice to hear that, thank you for sharing you connect with my channel. It can be affirming when others relate with us. Also, I wonder if you’ve hear about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I’ve lost all hope. It feels good to be wanted, making a connection, but once it starts going I don’t trust the future. It never works out. So knowing this I don’t really enjoy it anymore. Relationships, work, everything really.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

If only you knew how many of us feel the same way - so relatable. Many of us didn’t get to learn these skills. We talk about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. It’s affirming when others can relate. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

@user-kx6km4ze5r

4 ай бұрын

I’m with you, too tired of the constant disappointment. Like the song says love comes slow and leaves so fast.

@DanielleMM-ct8ip

4 ай бұрын

Your comment massively resonated- I don’t want to even bother

I am 56, almost 57. I haven't dated in 4 years. Happiest I've ever been with self growth and self discovery. It opened up a whole new world for me. And I am not interested in dating at all. Maybe someday but i dont know. I am not searching for it. If i met someone just in life spontaneously I would date. Online dating I will never do again.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you have a good relationship with yourself. It’s so good to explore this. I wonder if you know about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It can be validating when others relate. Thanks again for sharing. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I dated a guy for a month and a half recently and it was a typical whirlwind love bombing thing where he asked me to be his girlfriend a week in, said he loved me 2 weeks in.. quickly became super jealous and emotionally abusive, I was at the point where I was going to end it and then he ghosted me saying I wasn't meeting his needs and I wasn't affectionate enough. a couple core wounds for me. it was devastating even though I knew I was gonna leave first. crushed my self worth for absolutely no reason. im a month past it and don't feel a thing for the guy.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Oh iI know how many people have experienced a similar situation with the love bombing then cut off. I know when we talked about how this relates to attachment injuries in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It can be affirming when others mirror what we need to hear. Thank you for sharing your insight. We are all learning from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

“Im sorry you’re human.” Thank you 😂this shit is hard😪

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

It’s true, it is hard to be human sometimes. It’s a good thing we have each other as we’re all going through similar things. I know when we talked about the hopelessness in dating in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It’s so affirming when others can relate with what we’re going through. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

"hope is scary, hope is dangerous" sums it up. when friends ask me "do you like them? could this be the one" im always like just stop how has it all worked out up to this point?

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I know that can be frustrating. It’s like being pressured in a way almost. So many of us can relate with being in your spot. It’s validating knowing others can relate with our situations. Also, I know when we talked about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I’m hopelessly hopeful

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I hear you. If you knew how many of us can relate… I think it’s so great to talk about hope and hopelessness. When we talk about these things together we can learn so much from each other. Also, if you aren’t familiar, I want to share you may be interested in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

This is my situation. A relationship has ended before it has started. I didn't have much hope in it and it was me who decided to end the relationship. Still, there is this grief and disapointment. This video came to me and I will rewatch it several times. It brings some comfort. I know I will be OK soon. I will listen to nice music, go to Church and slowly but surely forget this unpleasant experience of a hope which did not come true. The most depressing thing is this pattern of abusive men in my life (it is the 4th time and it seems like I'm dating the same person, more or less).

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 ай бұрын

I hear you and know that many of us can relate with the disappointment. We hope and believe it would be different and it's so frustrating when it just seems to be same pattern again. This is something we bring up in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships and I want to share there's a new 8-Week Program about to start. You are welcome to join us. It is so affirming when others understand our experience and we learn a lot from each other that way. Thank you for sharing your experience and I'm glad you connected with the video. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

39 years of this cycle off and on. I'm quite exhausted from the disappointment. Back to further healing and growth. Yes I'm the common denominator but maybe it's also my picker. It's comforting to know I'm not alone here 😊

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Oh I so hear you about the exhaustion and can see many of us nodding our heads because we know and have been in this cycle as well. It is comforting to know we're not alone in the experience. I remember when we mentioned this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn a lot from each other. Thank you for sharing your experience. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

You explain these things to me in a way no one else ever has, and in a way that resonates with me. Thank you.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I appreciate you sharing that the way I explain is helpful for you and resonates for you. Thank you for valuing my effort. I think about how much we learn from each other because we can relate. If you haven’t already heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships, check out this quiz. Thanks again for your feedback. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Thank you so much..I'm so codependent love addiction been let down by many people I trust..so sad

@alina.m4lina

4 ай бұрын

you will get through this!

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome and I understand. Many of us can relate with having some history of being let down. It’s painful. I remember when we talked about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It’s so validating when others can understand where we’re coming from because they can also relate. Thanks again for your feedback. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Thank you. I’ve been there a few times and I’m going through it now. “Good for me. I’ll be fine!”

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I hear you, it can be rough. It’s really nice though how so many of us can relate. It’s validating how it’s a human experience. Yes, good for us for taking risks. I remember when we had this conversation at the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I wish I could say “I’m done with relationships and done with hope” and really mean it

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I hear you and I know this is not easy. Many of us can relate with being in this spot. It’s validating when others can also relate. We recently talked about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. Thank you for commenting. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

It’s OK to be hopeless about relationships- they usually do end. But to be at peace with yourself- that is the real goal. Thank you- I needed that

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Yes, I can just exhale on that note - being at peace with ourselves. That is the real goal. I'm glad this video is helpful. I know when we mentioned this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It's so affirming when others know what we're talking about. We learn a lot from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Alan, you are such an incredible human being ! ❤ thank you so much for doing these videos 🙏

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Oh thanks for the words. I’m glad to hear the videos are helpful for you. I know how helpful it is when others can relate with what we share. You may also like the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Anddddd… I’m back here at this video because even when I commented before I was dating someone new. I really opened my heart to him, he seemed to open his to me, but the whole time I felt a disconnect and lack of passion for me on his part. He swore up and down he really liked me, and I think he did, but he’s 25 and his lifestyle is work & then get off and drink with his buddies. He was struggling with depression and I think he just wasn’t capable of showing up the way I want and deserve someone to. I’m not the old Mrs. Fix-A-Man I used to be. I ended things. It was really painful for a few days, I still feel like I was rejected by him, can’t help but go “if I was that girl from his past he wrote those sad songs about, he would’ve been putting in the effort, he just didn’t like me, I’m too X, Y, Z” … but it doesn’t do me good to ruminate on that. I’m at the @21:05 “Brush it off shake it off” portion of the video and feeling good 🌻

I've been in this situation and I hurted more than breaking up with someone I was in relationship for a long time, it's brutal to end things at the pick of emotions and hopes and plans for the future 💔 took me a long time to get over it😢

Sick and tired of being sick and tired 😫

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

I hear you.

I finally met someone with compatibility, limbic resonance, attraction, chemistry etc… the whole package. And guess what? He’s been single for so long he doesn’t see himself ever being in a domestic partnership. His words, “not everything needs to be black and white. I’m trying to practice detachment but I’m really just sitting with my heartbreak.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

I hear you. I know many of us have had a similar experience. I want to share you may be interested in taking the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

@youtuber-cc8sx

13 күн бұрын

Is he really serious or is that his trauma saying that

The ending of this one is…comforting? Yes! 👍 I didn’t pick up on that so much the first time.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

Glad this video was helpful and offered some comfort at the end. Thank you for the kind donation. I appreciate your support.

Astoundingly relatable. You’ve never treated or even encountered me, yet your formulation is spot-on. ❤ 😊

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 ай бұрын

I appreciate the feedback. I'm so glad to hear you really connected with this video. It's great when others resonate with things we share, so validating. I also want to share about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I know this topic comes up in our conversations. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Yes Alan, you are right. Thank you for bringing about this consciousness in more & more.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome. I’m glad this brought you more insight and glad the videos are helpful. I know how many of us can relate, which feels validating. Also, you might have heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We affirm each other by relating and we learn so much together. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Thank you, Alan!

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome.

Thank you so much! I needed this. You are a Godsend! ❤

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

You're welcome. Thanks for the kind words.

Thank you, Alan, for this encouragement.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 ай бұрын

You're welcome, I'm glad his video was encouraging and helpful. You may also like to take the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I felt a lot of tenderness and understanding in the way you describe the crushing feeling of allowing yourself to hope for the possibility of someone and being met with disappointment. It's a beautiful demonstration of how we can try and meet ourselves with kindness, curiosity and understanding when we're faced with a relationship that doesn't happen. Thanks.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Yes, that crushing feeling and disappointment from having hoped for something more to develop in the relationship. I can speak from experience and know how many people have also shared about being in this situation. It’s so great when others can understand and relate. Also, I wonder if you heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships, we talk about this in the Community. It’s so affirming when others relate and we learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

How amazing you are ❣ So human, so real. Thank you Alan. Your vulnerability is a blessing for all the people you help.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words. I'm so glad you connect with the content. I speak from personal experience and I know how many times I heard people speak about going through similar situations. It's so validating when others can relate with us. Also, if you haven't already heard about, this is what we talk about in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Thank you. Love all your content and can relate to a lot of it so much.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

That’s nice to hear that you relate with so much of the content. It’s affirming when others understand our experience. I’m wondering if you heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

@mayebouee8099

4 ай бұрын

@@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma Thank you for linking it in the message. No I had not heard of it. Will certainly have a look.

Yes! Love the idea of "atleast I tried" and remained true to the human experience of actually putting my heart & vulnerability to use lol. I love that you also mentioned it doesn't necessarily feel good all the time, but we are able to bounce back essentially.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Yes, good for us for trying and for putting our heart to use lol. I know many of us didn’t learn how and didn’t get to practice. Many of us are learning how to do this relating thing and it’s so nice to know we aren’t alone in the fumbling. I wonder if you heard about the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. This is the kind of conversations we have. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

So helpful ❤

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Glad to hear this is helpful for you. Also, here’s a relationship quiz you may want to check out. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

I really appreciate this video.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Thank you. Glad it is helpful.

Thanks again Alan!!

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome.

You’re such a dope therapist. I’m so happy I found your channel.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the kind words. Glad the videos are helpful.

@dominiquecadet5976

2 ай бұрын

Same, it’s not easy but it’s life...

I am so greatfull fór finding you. Just experiencing exactly this.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I hear you and I'm glad this video is helpful. It's affirming when others can relate and I'm glad this video connected for you. This topic also came up in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad the video is helpful. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Thank you 🙏❤️

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome

Thank you! ❤

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome.

Thank you

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

You’re welcome.

Peddling hope is big business. Maybe the biggest business.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

It’s true. It’s no joke.

❤❤❤❤❤❤ thanks ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for the hearts and I’m glad this is helpful.

Hope is too painful

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

I hear you.

I ended up ending the relationship and the grief was insane bc I created a fantasy off of my love addiction. The reality of him was underwhelming, but I got attached- grief still comes up almost 2 years later and my relationship was only a month. I do question if I ever want to open myself up to anyone again. I’m tired of discovering that who people who perform and then discover that’s not who they are and they bullshit me…again. I can’t tell if I’m creating that by thinking this is my destiny over and over again. I like being single but it’s super lonely and wish I had someone share in the human experience with, but it’s just my dog and I.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

I understand and you wouldn't believe how many of us can relate. Thank you for connecting with this video. It's so affirming when others relate with what we share. I want to share you may be interested in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. Thanks again for the comment. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

He is describing everything I am doing at 4 minutes in at least

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing you can relate with this content. It's great when others can understand where we're coming from. I know when this topic came up in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn so much from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Okay. That was really depressing.

@knitnpaint

4 ай бұрын

Totally. Reality bites.

I have recently become aware I have a pattern of getting involved with men who I know are wrong for me and I don’t even particularly like much-why is that? I don’t love them and end up feeling deprived. I do it to myself, like a self sabotage, but why?

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 ай бұрын

This is great awareness and I hear you. You'd probably be surprised to know how many of us relate with this frustrating, recurring experience. This is what we talk about in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. We learn a lot from each other. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

Is it ever OK to go back or is it always best to move forward? Wondering what could have been…

Where do I find my lovable loser counterpart? 😊 Alan your videos have been invaluable helping me move towards a healthy attachment style. Truly

Even before being really hopefull, often i don’t even go to a 2d date because they already messed up in between. What is even there to say about it?

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

4 ай бұрын

I’m reminded of how sometimes the compatibility is questionable. Good for you for getting out there and challenging yourself. Many of us didn’t get the chance to learn about relating skills. This comes up in our conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. It’s so affirming when others can relate with what we’re sharing and that’s how we learn. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2

The real question for me is how does this channel & video have so few likes? Yet some random, unlicensed dude on the internet gives advice about checking phones of ppl you're dating as a non negotiable & it's like 12K likes

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for valuing my work and I'm glad this content is helpful. Please help spread the word by sharing the link of this video with others. Thank you for your help.