My sister is the epitome of a gracious hostess. Firstly, when she picks you up from the airport, she always comes in to meet you. Secondly, she has your signature cocktail and appropriate appetizer waiting for you when you reach her car. After all it is about an hour from the airport to her home. Finally, when you arrive at her home, she has a basket filled with items she has selected especially for you. the baskets vary, but they always include very nice shampoo and conditioner and facial masks. These baskets have now become a family tradition!

@kathleenkalt3852

5 жыл бұрын

I live in Florida and pick up a lot of visitors at the airport. I never even thought to have water in the car. I have to up my game. Not sure if having open liquor in car is legal in Florida. Will check!

when I was young and still in college I often would "crash" at a friends apartment when we would stay up late studying or have an exam in the morning as she lived 5 minutes from school and I lived 45 by car. As I said we were young and far from having homes with special guest rooms or fancy china, I think I usually slept on the couch. My friend however is one of those hosts who have the ability to make you feel so at home. I think the thing that I remember most is that there was always soap and a washcloth and towel setting on the bathroom counter for me and coffee set to brew with a mug out when I woke up. It was small things but she knew I liked to have a shower first thing and a cup of coffee and I got up early. It's the little things that make a host. I was more comfortable staying on her couch in her little apartment than I have been at houses with designated guest rooms and fancy linens. it goes to show that you can be a marvelous host in whatever living circumstances you have it's about making the people feel loved and being proud of your home!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

8 жыл бұрын

+Amber Stewart What a great story and observation!

I had a friend from my job over my house, for the evening. Once we were through with our conversation, she went to a different topic to talk, i didn't want to hint her to leave, and it was 4hrs. of her visit. dinner time was coming. i didn't have enough prepared food for her. so i ordered pizza for everyone. she was surprised why i offered her dinner? but that's what we're supposed to do right? if it's lunch time, offer lunch. if it's dinner time, offer dinner. But the guest should also know when it's time to leave. if the guest was not invited to have a meal over then they should leave before 8pm. right? i'm very careful to not overstay my welcome. everyone should be considerate.

It would be amazing if you did a video on what types of refreshments or snacks you offer guests (during non-meal times). I'm sure you have it down to a science!

I was invited to stay with my half sister whom I had only met once before. Her husband and she purchased my plane ticket. But, from the moment I arrived I felt unwelcome. I was exhausted from flying all day with nothing to eat. Her idea for our first meal was sharing the left over Thai food she had from the previous day. I’m not familiar with Thai food and have extensive health problems resulting from lupus. Including but not limited to kidney disease. My appetite is low but my nutritional requirements are high. She knew all of this and I was a little hurt. On top of that she had nothing fresh in the house to eat. Outdated foods some of them years outdated. Our first day we went to the grocery store and I bought $150 worth of groceries for her house. She doesn’t cook either so I did all the cooking. During the week at her house one of my goals was to stop smoking cigarettes. She knew this ahead of time and promised we would stay busy. At home I do a lot of walking in the woods. Being in the forest is therapy for me something she is well aware of. And yet she had nothing planned for us to do so it was up to me to get on Google and find places for us to go each day. Nothing I suggested was of interest to her. She was quick to let me know that I was tiring her out just being there. I felt very homesick and couldn’t wait to leave. Having had that experience I know what I would do different had she been my guest. I would put my own agenda and preferences aside for the week. And seek to do and find anything and everything that she enjoys. And I would NOT tell my guests they were wearing me out :((

Wouldn't it be nice if this was taught by example within the homes still, I hope this kind of entertaining stays alive, one can only decorate so much, it's our relationships with people that we remember in the end. Love your topics, more please!! xo

Jennifer, I'm a southerner and I've known so many southern women who know how to do this. It truly is an art and having the ability to make someone feel comfortable in your home is a wonderful trait to learn. We have strayed away from it so much, and it really is a shame. Entertaining can be one of the most fulfilling and just fun things to do. Thank you so much for this video. I loved it! Love, Melissa

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

***** Thank you Melissa, I bet you are the best hostess!

@rebeccainspiringhope4357

4 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing Melissa.... the south is all about hospitality... drilled into our heads...

I received the most lovely compliment from my daughter-in- law recently. She commented that she thought I was always so gracious and very prepared for guests and that she didn’t see herself that way at all. I gratefully accepted the compliment and then assured her that I was definitely not this way for many, many years. In fact, your books have been so impactful for me in this area. They helped me tremendously reduce the anxiety of having people in our home by taking one aspect of hosting at a time, and implementing it until it became second nature. Fortunately for me, she missed those awkward decades of my poor hostess skills . Haha! I’m giving her your first book for Christmas hoping she will receive as much gracious wisdom as I have from them. Thank you so much for writing these much-needed books.

Here is something I've lacked because nerves would take hold. I believe tangible genuine love was lacking in my home and at some of the homes I visited. I'm not taking about demonstrative affection, although I'm okay with that too, but just plain warm hospitality along with the things you described. I couldn't figure out why people seemed uneasy at my house even though I offered refreshments, a place to put their things, etc. I realized after being at someone else's house and watching their nervous awkward behavior that realized I was doing the same thing. Like you said, we need to let go of insecurities and just love on our guests. It really takes the pressure off of myself and everyone else.

In my early twenties a dear friend invited me and another coworker to her home. She prepared each of us cornish game hen a beautiful salad and cake with strawberries and coffee. Its been over 20 years ago but I learned so much from her and I always think of her as the "hostess with the mostest!" Love your channel :)

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

lmi747 Love that!

Hi Jennifer, We moved to the outback of Australia with our three small children for my husband's job. We had friends in the States who had friends in Alice Springs and they were so kind to give us a welcome party in their home. We had never met them and knew none of the other invited guests. They were so kind and warm. It was all a lovely experience. One thing that has always stood out to me was the hostess would periodically come by with an appetizer she had made and offer it to us. I had not seen that before. I was used to everyone helping themselves to the snacks and appetizers that were set out. I thought it was a nice touch.

My goodness. This night of insomnia has become a delight! I love your thoughts and advice. I'm 55 years old and am delighted to see these thoughts coming from a young woman in this era!

My husband and I often have people over, including our children's friends, 'however most people don't reciprocate. At first we were really disappointed....but I think like you said people don't have the time, worry about their home state of affair, etc. We learned not to expect the offer to be returned anymore. Plus it forces us to power clean when we know guests are coming =)

I have two irritants when it comes to having guests over. One is guests who arrive early - the worst! I wish I were more organized, but I need that precious time to finish getting ready. The other is a hostess who starts doing dishes. At worst, it means it's time to leave. At best it makes feel guilty for enjoying the party instead of helping to clean. Such a "buzz kill". One of my favorite things is once my mother-in-law learned I liked Peanut M&M's, just would always fill a little candy jar full of them and place them in our room when my husband and I came to visit. It was a thoughtful gesture that made me feel so welcomed.

@HurairaHerbals

7 жыл бұрын

In arabic households the hostess starts doing the dishes, and all the other ladies start joining in XD. Then they sit afterwards for tea or coffee.

You are such a breath of fresh air in this world! And I adore you for it! 🌸

Among my friends, one of my favorites to host is very gracious and cheerful. She walks in comfortably and without expectation. She makes herself appropriately comfortable and in turn, makes me feel at ease as well. She is a good host and a wonderful guest and I'm sure she's never worried after a glass of water- she will simply ask, though I doubt she's ever had to. Your guidelines are fantastic, though I feel falling so heavily on proper protocol does not provide an atmosphere of comfort. I'm not sure considering the hospitality of others in terms of horrors or triumphs is for me. It's always a kindness and I am grateful.

great video and tips! would you be able to make a video on how to deal with uncomfortable situations? For example uninvited/ unwelcome guests or how to deal with people that you don't like in a respectable way?

@marthaosborne9625

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, this would be so helpful. It is always so awkward when someone uninvited comes, perhaps with another guest, and they are at odds with others present. Or they are just not someone you are particularly comfortable having in you home.

Wonderful video.. I do love to entertain at home.. and I do so frequently. Suggestions for your Pantry/ Fridge * Crudites..Carrot sticks, Celery sticks, Cucumber slices. radishes. * Salsa * Raspberry or strawberry jam. *: Carr's Water Crackers. * Bread sticks * Olives * Cheese * Lemons. * Nuts * Tea's.. Regular and Herbal * Shortbread cookies * A bottle of champagne * chocolates.. ( yes~ you can avoid the temptation) Easy appetizer: Sliced tomato on top of Fresh chopped basil drizzled with Olive oil and a bit of Balsamic Vinegar. Place that on a platter and you have a gorgeous dish that most people will enjoy. Completely caught off guard by surprise visitor. There is always Toast : Butter toast, then. Cut off the crust. Cut into Triangles, serve toast triangles with Tea and jam.Put the jam into a pretty little bowl-,provide spoon for jam., Toast triangles go into a simple bread basket..( line basket with napkin) Serve with Tea.. Instant Tea Party! Add some gentle background music and your guest will feel Welcome

@lewanna5898

2 жыл бұрын

I would love to eat at your home!

I learned from your books, Jennifer, how to dress up even simple food by setting a beautiful table. I made a simple soup for a friend for lunch and put on some nice jazz music and welcomed her graciously. She was so enthralled by how she was treated by me that she wrote a lengthy thank you card about how special it made her feel. You are right, it's not about having fancy things, it's about using our best to say to our guest, "you are important to me." I do this with my sons and husband too, and they love it!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

8 жыл бұрын

+marla west Wonderful! I will definitely be sharing your comment on the blog.

I've learned that all you need is a couple different wines, some water and juice, a couple bags of gourmet chips and some place and bake cookies ! No one cares that you didn't make them from scratch ! And another secret of ours is having all white plates and serving dishes. A nice plate with a little garnish (some powdered sugar or a little parsley or basil) can make a easy quick snack look like caviar !! It's fun and easy, and I love to see people smile and enjoy their time at my home!

My awkwardness is that we don’t keep in stock things like soda, alcohol, coffee creamer, or even a coffee pot (my husband uses a French press on the weekend). I feel like these things are expected, and like I am lacking as a hostess - but I don’t want to carry a bunch of things we don’t use “just in case”. We don’t have space for that, and I don’t want people to drink alcohol at my home anyway. My family has given me grief so many times for not supplying soda, alcohol and coffee creamer (we have milk, which is what we use).

I love all these tips. I also make it a point to put my phone away. It is so rude when guests (or hosts) stay on their smart phone. I usually put the phone away to set the example. It's important to enjoy each other's company and avoid unnecessary distractions! Thanks for your videos! I just love them!

A great tip I heard is,instead of saying would you like a drink(the guest sometimes says no thanks out of politeness),say which would you prefer,tea or coffee? ..it presumes that they would like a drink and that you are more than happy to provide. X

Great video!! I am one of those people who gets so anxious when I have guests. These tips really help. Please could you do some more on what you do as preparation for guests. I am always in a last minute panic and find myself in the kitchen whilst everyone else enjoys themselves. I so want to enjoy entertaining and become a pro. xx

I really enjoyed this, you offered a lot of great advice! My husband and I were invited to a party once where we only knew the host/hostess and no one else. When we arrived we weren't introduced to anyone and it was really awkward. The good news is it has taught me to always make sure I introduce those who I am not certain know each other. :)

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Lynette | La Beauty Bag Hi Lynette, that has happened to me too! It is very awkward...

I hate to admit, I am not a good hostess. Sometimes I have drinks to offer guests; sometimes I don't. I rarely have guests over, but I am going to commit to do better in this area. My Southern family members and friends entertain so beautifully.

I have a horror story in which I'm actually the hostess that did not offer anything to drink! I know, I'm so sorry. I was 18, my sister was 17, we met these guys (19 and 20 years old) in another city and then they surprisingly traveled to my city and stopped for a visit. Here is my excuse: Our house was undergoing mayor renovation (no kitchen!), my mom was traveling and my dad was not that happy with this impromptu visit, I was nervous so I forgot to offer anything! Years later I married one of these guys. I am a good hostess now.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

pchocano What a great story!

@michelleguzmanphoto

9 жыл бұрын

pchocano Such a fun story!!!!!

How inspiring! What a kind reminder! This video makes receiving guests a very easy and enjoyable thing in our life.

Jennifer, my Mom was a gracious and lovely hostess, and she could have written a book on hospitality. We didn't have many extras when I was growing up, however my Mom instilled in us to present our best, whether it was only family members at home, or whether we had guests. My Mom was a fabulous cook and baker, and she would always whip up a cake or some type of snack for guests. If it was a meal, she would make extra. I remember starching and ironing napkins and tablecloths, and setting the table. I learned to enjoy preparing for company. I want the pandemic to disappear--I miss having company.

I'm so delighted to have found your channel, thanks to a recommendation from a friend. Can't wait to catch up on all of your wonderful tips! Headed over to your TED Talk next!

Thank you. Have just come across your video's recently and I love them.

These were some lovely tips! It's so true about over complication of hosting. Habits create a lifestyle.

I always love using my best for daily life. I have always enjoyed my dishes & tea cups with saucers. Yesterday I used two of my vintage platters for our holiday meal. One was made in Italy. The other is a vintage Eggshell Nautilus platter. Which I have been collecting over the years. Unfortunately they broke by accident! I had washed them and was getting ready to put them away and my son accidentally bump them (I don’t know how) but they went crashing to the floor. 😫 I am sad but it was an accident. But that is what can happen. I don’t regret using them. It was a beautiful Thanksgiving meal with the family. Thank you for all of your encouragement & tips. I always look forward to your post! Happy Holidays!

I'll never forget the time we made a 5 hour trip to visit my stepdaughter and her family. She knew we would be arriving at lunchtime so she had prepared a box of Rice a Roni for us for lunch. That's all, just Rice a Roni. It's one of those things you just have to laugh about after you leave and for years later. That was her way of receiving guests. And that's ok, at least she served us something. I find that entertaining skills are lost on the younger generation. Laurie

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

trixiegirlism Very funny about the Rice a Roni but like you said at least she prepared something... and hopefully offered water :)

We had the wonderful experience of being welcomed into our very own "Madame Chic's" home in France recently. She made us feel very welcome and comfortable and made sure our every need was met without making us feel like she was going to a lot of trouble. She never apologized for what wasn't perfect, and genuinely enjoyed the people around the table. There was much laughter, delicious food, and amazing memories! It inspired me to do the same with our friends here at home. Love this video!

Just ordered your books! Love your philosophy-I use all of my good things all the time-I love having guests over-my dream would be to have a B and B!

If you are unused to giving dinner parties why not get started with coffee and tea invitations? Once you have found your feet , and realised it’s not that frightening , move on to something more ambitious .

What if when people come over uninvited or just "pop over" and you really don't want them there? Or how to kindly tell someone to leave if they have overstayed their welcome? I have a friend who always stays longer than I'd want and it's always awkward trying to get her to leave.

@jaclynbabybaby

9 жыл бұрын

Kaleigh Youngstrom I HATE people "calling in". it's really not hard to quickly text or call to ask if it's a good time..... Just tell them you're busy? I know the feeling though. especailly when you want to make dinner or something.

@TarTelperienNumenor

4 жыл бұрын

@Kaleigh Nguyen I realize your comment was from 4 years ago, not sure if this is still an issue 😄 If you want to have an easy way to end your friend's visit, maybe invite her when you have another obligation later on? Perhaps you're going out to dinner with a significant other, or you need to cook dinner. Say something to the effect of "It was wonderful spending time with you! Unfortunately I need to start making dinner (or getting ready to leave for my dinner date) but let's do this again soon!"

Well said! Wonderful video. These ideas may seem basic to many, but not to everyone. I also think that different cultures can have different norms in how they receive their guests.

So agree. Pre COVID I used to have monthly dinner parties and would have a larger party once a quarter or so. Not many in our circle of friends do this - but we don’t mind. We know everyone’s situation is different. I think this is a great topic to cover. Thanks.

Thank you. I needed these tips as I am starting my home business and will be having people over often.

By the way I brought your book..I loved your first book can't wait to read your new one. Thanks Jennifer for all your great ideas..

I'm pretty good about keeping a fairly tidy, but a far from perfect, home (but I also don't have youngsters running about making messes, either). Here a funny tip you might employ if your house isn't spotless when an unexpected guest arrives... I don't remember if I read it in a magazine or saw it on a TV program, but... if you keep several "Get Well Soon" cards tucked in a drawer close to the front door, anytime you have an unexpected guest, grab them before you answer the door. If your house isn't perfectly tidy, the cards can let them assume you've been otherwise preoccupied. hahaha! I agree with you Jennifer, I wish more people entertained like they used to back in my parent's day. It's just so easy to make a reservation that I think people easily got out of practice.

I thank you I want your book. It is sad that these gentle formalities have been lost. 😊

What about when someone stops by uninvited and stays so long they run into a meal time. I never know what to do. I haven't planned on feeding them and don't have enough for extra mouths or in some cases, don't want to encourage them to stay!

@kawaiiwitchbaby

9 жыл бұрын

Cheri Lyn YES!

@christinapsalmist4267

2 жыл бұрын

Stretch the soup, be gracious. Easy to stretch whatever u have... Add tins of tomatoes and pasta.... Make do, never turn a person away. It could be you...

I feel like I mostly do all thing things you mention, offer a space to put their bags or offer a beverage but I have way more unexpected guests 9 out of 10 times. Like being in the middle of a sweaty house cleaning session scrubbing bathroom tile or mopping only to be interrupted by a knock at the door. Or worse on weekdays when I have my nightly routine to get ready for the next day by guests who aren't working so they don't know when to leave!! Yawning extra doesn't work all the time! Help!

I learned to meet on neutral ground when meeting cousins you have not seen in a long time. We visited my husbands cousin in another state. We had not seen him in decades and had never met his wife. We were left at the unanswered door for an uncomfortable time snd were not asked if we would like to sit down. There is more but too much to write about here. Cant wait to buy your book!

Thanks for these tips. I am planing to have a lady from church over this week and your tips will be used.

The content in this video is so excellent, I'm surprised it does not have the million views it deserves!

Thank you so much! I watch your videos every week. You are very inspiring, sure of yourself and so warm! That makes me feel at home. I bought both of your books and looking forward to more of your projects :) You make a huge difference in my life. And in the world in general. Beautiful energy :) Just love it. Best of luck, Jennifer!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

isduota Thank you so much! What a great compliment

This came at the PERFECT time! Thank you, I love your videos so much!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

smileykat Thank you!

Loved this video! It helped me because sometimes I get a little nervous having people over, and I procrastinate on it. :)

Waiting for your book to arrive in the mail!

I love your videos! My mom always put out something sweet to eat and offered a cup of tea to people who stopped by unexpectedly so I do the same thing. The worst was when my mom and I had been out shopping and it was a hot summer day so we stopped over my mother in laws and we were so hot and so thirsty and she never offered us a glass of water so after a short visit we said we had to go.

I agree, the days are gone when we wanted to just meet up face to face instead of mainly using social media. Also, 'jumping in the swimming pool' is a great analogy to what you should do when someone stops by unannounced. All the thoughts and worries about yourself or surrounding don't change anything anyway. :)

Thank you. That was good. As I listened, I realize this is pretty basic information. However, I grew up in a home where we did not entertain, so I never learned how. Add to that the fact that I am a very shy person so am not comfortable entertaining, and it can be a very awkward situation for all involved.

Love the concepts here Jennifer! On the apologies point when you are having people over, I do think there is a middle ground. Apologizing profusely is too much. But, as discussed in the book The Charisma Myth, if you feel uncomfortable, others will sense it, so I do believe it’s best to briefly address the situation that has you feeling self-conscious. It makes everything more relatable.

I'm often surprised by guests and we have a tiny home. People come too early, there is never enough seating and the drinks are usually outside (and we have an outdoor livingroom that is quite a ways away)...despite best efforts people often end up in our bedroom to nurse a baby or change a diaper and it's quite hard to hide anything. This does help me to think in this direction though. I need to have a protocol and a better plan. It happens too often to be surprised by it any more. 🥴😁😊🥰

@alyssamurphy2002

2 жыл бұрын

Coming back a year later. This video helped me, and the biggest thing I remember is to have a place for purses. My washer top is the place!

Will you do a video on proper send-offs and another about guest etiquette? Thank you.

I am from India. Thank you. It is a very useful video....

Love your nightmare. LOL. That is hilarious. I always offer things to drink but when it comes to snacks and stuff like that, I have a hard time because I don't really snack so I don't have stuff on hand. Living in SoCal, I feel like so many people are flaky that I don't like inviting them over for meals in case they cancel last minute (whilst I'm cooking). I'd prefer to meet at restaurants so if they cancel I don't have to worry about all of my work and food going to waste. It's kind of sad actually...

I love having loved ones over for a wonderful meal. We gather weekly for Bible study and fellowship with my adult son and sister. Highlight of my week. Fun planning and cooking delicious food. Funny thing happened recently, we invited 10 friends from our Torah fellowship group for a 4 course meal. We had filet of beef, potatoes al forno, asparagus, challah breads, strawberry shortcake trifle, etc, etc. Well... for some reason our guests started inviting other people, seriously....our dinner party suddenly turned into 16!!! We were completely flored. I had been cleaning and planning all week. I got out my china, best linens...etc. We had never experienced people doing this before. Curious, how would you have handled this awkward situation?

Very well said 😊

Years ago there was a person's home that I was invited to frequently for different events... there would be literally 30 people there and she would have a bag of chips out (in the bag) and a plastic tub of dip. There might be a liter of soda, but not always. I eventually started bringing veggie trays, etc "just because I had it on hand" (meaning I didn't want to starve)! Crazy!

Thank you for your wonderful perspective on this fading art. Entertaining friends and acquaintances is your opportunity to show them, through your kindness and thoughtfulness, that they are important to you. I look at entertaining as my chance to shower my friends with care. It is my gift to them. And the food or event need not be fancy (although it's a great opportunity to try your best) but when your guests leave they should feel that they have been treasured.

@HelloDecember525

Жыл бұрын

Amen! 💗👏👏 Well said! :)

My horror story! I once went to meet a boyfriends family for the first time. His sister was folding laundry when we arrived. She didn't stand to greet me, barely looked at me let alone made eye contact, and the dinner hadn't even been started to be prepared. No appetizers or snacks were out. She didn't offer me a drink or anything. I felt SO unwanted and un welcomed! I am very aware of how people are taken care of now.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

8 жыл бұрын

+Annie Bannie9 Sadly, this is the norm!

Do you have any tips for quick foods and drinks to always have for surprise visits?

My mother was a very gracious hostess and my sisters and I learned to be the same. My horror story was at a birthday party at one of our families homes. It was quiet and I looked around and everyone was on their phones texting except me. It was very uncomfortable. How can we graciously silence the phones (including teens who come over) when people visit me?

@jenniferrumsey9887

4 жыл бұрын

We are the main entertainers in our extended family - we have 2 rules: *Be kind to each other *If I see your cell phone during family time it goes on top of the frig I announced rule 2 at niece’s Pizza Hutt birthday party yesterday and someone said “Is she kidding” birthday girl smiled and said “no she is not”. Problem solved no more phones and everyone enjoyed the party.🎉

Wonderful video. I so agree. I definitely need to flex these muscles more. : ) I love receiving invitations to visit someone's home and I never feel badly if their homes aren't perfectly tidy, it's all about the person I'm visiting. It is a challenge though if the home smells or is dirty. When I have people or a friend over then my biggest challenge is what to offer them. I'm always concerned that they won't like or can't eat for some reason the things I'm offering. What would you suggest for this concern? Thank you, Carol

Hi, great video! What's the etiquette as host with shoes on or off for guests in your home?

Great tips! How about overnight guests?

What do you do when people are uninvited? I understand inviting people over at meal time and having food, but how do you deal with guest who come over uninvited during mealtime? If I have enough food I offer, but that is not always the case.

Just a question: what if the guest already ate and if the guest didn’t want to have a meal or a drink? I’d think it’s better to ask rather than have it prepared beforehand.

I would like to be a more graceful host. But just like you said it always seems like a hassle to put aside the time to clear the clutter, get my boyfriend to clean up his mess and etc. I often have unexpected visitors (close friends and family) so my hosting capabilities always seem dysfunctional. It always seems like I get company when its time to re-stock the fridge or when I am in the middle tidying. But having watched this video, I am going to make an effort to be ready for those unexpected visitors. Thanks Jennifer!

Oh yes..the clutter! I am having such a hardtime keeping my home in order..at least in order enough to have company.

So what do you do when people overstay their welcome and they impose on a mealtime you haven't prepared for them to be there for?

Another time several of us were invited to a common friends house for a study and told we would have pizza and not to worry about bringing a side dish. When we got there the pizzas were soon delivered. Then the study began and the host said we would eat after the study. We were all hungry and when we finally ate the pizzas were cold. 😟

This should be taught by all parents to their children, we never understand the value of hospitality until we grow older.

Your mentioning of not inviting someone over unless you intended to feed them really struck me. I had a friend in high school who would invite me to sleepovers at their house, but I wasn't allowed to eat any of their food. If their mom cooked them a dinner than I had to either provide my own dinner to cook myself in the microwave or I had to watch them eat, even with take away or fast food. It always made me wonder how this friend felt when they would come over to my house and their favorite drink would be waiting in the fridge for them or my parents would pay or make their meal or how my own mother felt watching me bring a bunch of food over to this friends house.

i am appalled at people's lack of social graces. I have been invited to a neighbors home, and they didn't offer me even a glass of water. I have also had people over and they didn't even touch any snacks i had out or drink anything i offered.I would totally take something someone offered me, even if i was full or didn't like what they served..i would take a tiny bit just to be polite. Finally, people no longer reciprocate when you invite them over...i keep waiting for that reciprocal invite and it doesn't happen.

@peonypink7943

9 жыл бұрын

radiantchristina Me too! I just don't understand it. It's like I was raised in a different culture, but I wasn't. When I'm a guest at others houses I rarely get asked if I'd like a drink, let alone being offered food or snacks. Sometimes they know that I've been busy with appointments etc for hours (obviously with no food) but still nothing is offered. When the same people are guests at my home I have everything ready for them, mugs or cups are out already, so they don't feel uncomfortable accepting and will put a plate of snacks / food in front of them. They take a few sips of their tea or coffee and don't even touch the snacks. I'm at the point now where I actually ask people for a glass of water or cup of tea. There have been times when I've been at someone's house for hours and I start to get shaky from lack of food so I've had to ask them if they have snacks. Now I make sure I eat in the car first and have nuts with me.

So lovely :)

Jennifer, what would you say to asking guests to remove their shoes? In our culture we wear slippers indoors and always remove our shoes at the door.

In Australia we always offer a drink - mostly because it's usually so hot! It would be unheard of not to be offered a drink as soon as you walk in the door of someone else's home. It is a dying art however, to have guests over. I miss it. I remember my parents having people over and us Going, as a family, to others' homes. I don't do it because i work full time and am exhausted at the end of the day :( my house is not up to scratch but this is some thing I'll put on my to do list.

How do I tell my sister she needs better host etiquette if she has soft skin and is offended easily about. Also how to tell her about guest etiquette you know attempt to wash her own dish or go a little above and beyond i know it is not the guests obligation. Help clean up or prepare for something.

The only thing I change is the "use your best". I say use your best For the occasion. If it is a barbeque or pot luck, I use NICE paper products etc. If it is a ladies lunch, baby or bridal shower, or afternoon tea I would pull out my china. I like to be aware of how "elegant" It needs to be. I don't want to seem showy or too formal if the occasion doesn't call for it.

No time to create an appetizer….just put out a bowl of nuts or raisins or a bowl of grapes, something simple that you don’t have to prepare❣️🥰💕🍇🥜

Thank you for such a wonderful video........the points you covered are really usefull........very nice and progressive video .......................i love it..............ma'am you had a new subscriber.....😎

Nice video not sure how to incorporate it into real life though

Great tips thank you. I'd like your take on something, if you don't mind. Two days ago my mother and I visited a friend at their house during lunch time (we were invited) - haven't been since the end of 2014. We were only planning to stay a couple of hours. Her children were at school so she didn't have an excuse to ignore us this time (normally she would open the door, say 'hi' quickly and walk into her kitchen and ignore us, and we would just play with her children). This time we thought she'd actually try to pay us some attention. This time she actually had some biscuits on a plate and offered tea (sometimes she doesn't even offer tea or water). Halfway through our visit she received a phone call and had a 20 minute long chat with her friend, someone who she sees quite often, laughing quite loudly, and gossiping. Not once did she say "I have guests, do you mind if I call you later?" She's also always quite angry and annoyed, which we always thought was because of her children. Mum actually got so angry she was about to walk out but I convinced her not to. I'd like to know how you would tackle this situation..? Does it sound to you like she's just plain rude or that she just knows nothing about etiquette?

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Peony Pink It sounds like you keep having frustrating experiences at this person's home. You could always invite her over to your home and give her a very welcoming experience that might make an impression on her.

@peonypink7943

9 жыл бұрын

Thank you. We do give her a welcoming experience but unfortunately it is never reciprocated.

My mom and family is coming over I’m the quiet one in the family and idk it’s weird omg

I have a horror story. I remember when I was dating a guy whose mother loved when I would come over. She always seemed the perfect hostess. Her home was well kept. However, every time I would come over which was usually in the evening she would always want to serve dinner for my boyfriend and I. She was a horrible cook. The food always tasted unpalatable. I would try to eat something so I would not make her feel bad. It never failed, every time I came over she would offer me a meal and would not take no for an answer. I had to stop going over there. Resulted always in a quick in and out visit..

But any time is some kind of mealtime:S lunch is 11-14, dinner is from 15-20, and then there are several smaller meals at other times...

@lewanna5898

2 жыл бұрын

So have something to eat, even if it is a snack

👍🏻

Yes....a horror story that we still talk about to this day. I think I should call this couple acquaintances rather than friends because I can't imagine friends doing this! We were invited to a couple's home. We had a 4 year old and an infant. It was a hot summer day, the invitation was for the hour that would commonly be lunchtime for most people. We assumed (and we all know what can happen when one assumes anything) that most like!y they would be offering at least some kind of finger food and refreshment. NOTHING!!!! Not even the offer of a glass of water! The 4 year old kept whispering that he was thirsty... One would think that it would be a hint that he was wanting something. This was before there was such a thing as sippy cups and bottled water in convenient travel size. We cut our visit very short when it became apparent that we were not going to be offered anything. We could hardly wait to get back home to get a drink and something to eat! Many years later (like 43!), whenever my husband and I accept an invitation we always chuckle and ask one another if we should take a couple bottles of water and some crackers....just on case!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Joyce Gotsch That is a guest horror story indeed! Thanks for sharing :)

It's easier to receive people if they've been invited. However, I am guilty of just popping in in the past, limited time etc. I never did expect drinks etc.

Its not always safe to leave your hand back with all the rest of the hand bags because when you are not looking people can go through your hand bag I had this experience.

Doing a church visit and not offered a beverage... was so thirsty

Would you be able to address how to be gracious to guest that stay to long? How do you kindly ask them to leave? We have some family members that don't know when to leave. They stay late when we have to work early in the morning. I've tried to politely drop subtle hints but they don't seem to get those hints. Maybe you have already addressed this issue, if so would you be kind enough to let me know which video? Also, how do you receive guests when you are right in the middle of a project and you're on a deadline? For example, I had to get a few things ready for my son, he was going away for college and some little things needed to be done. Is it ok to excuse myself and do that task? Explaining to them the situation? Thank you.

@peonypink7943

7 жыл бұрын

Maybe you could yawn discretely (but not so discrete they don't notice), then apologise and say you've had a bit of a long day. If they don't get the hint you could just say 'it's getting quite late so maybe we can call it a night..? if that's okay?' Maybe it will work. With a friend of mine I normally start asking her what she has planned for tomorrow, which kind of winds up the evening, and she usually takes the hint.

@Wishington29

7 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I think it's better not to try to hint too much-- but just be honest and frank. Something like "Hey, sorry guys. I wish we could chat all night, we love spending time with you, but we have to go to work early and need to get to bed." Then help them find their coats. If they don't catch on to hints, they could feel bad later when it dawns on them, and they could feel unwanted.

Years ago my five year old daughter and I were invited over the lunch hour and were not offered food or a beverage. My daughter cried out, 'Mommy, I'm thirsty..." I yelled back that soon we would be going home for lunch. My hostess, even then, provided nothing.

I JUST had a baby (on the 7th of May) and I've yet to receive guests. I struggle with asking people to remove their shoes. It feels awkward, but my toddler is now putting everything in her mouth and soon this little one will be doing tummy time. I guess I should just clean when they leave? Anyone have experience with this?

@rache9195

9 жыл бұрын

We have a cute little painted sign near our front door saying "little hands touch our floor so please leave your shoes at the door." I also make sure there is a place for people to put their shoes, or have covers for them if they don't want to take them off. At home with Niki has an incredible video on how to deal with the no shoes rule and guests. People tend to be more understanding with little ones. :) Hope this helps.

@rache9195

9 жыл бұрын

Also, congratulations on the addition to your family!!

@FindingMyMommyWay

9 жыл бұрын

Patricia Keele Just explain the situation. Anyone who has had a toddler/baby will understand. Maybe placing a couple of pairs of your shoes, on a mat, by the door will give a hint as well. :)

@Courtney6

9 жыл бұрын

Patricia Keele I think you should just say something like "You can leave your shoes right here.." as they enter. I don't know where you are but most places I've lived, people always take their shoes off so it seems normal to me. Congrats on your baby!

@pkeele

9 жыл бұрын

Thank you! That's good advice. I live in CA - some people naturally do it and others wouldn't consider it.