My very good friend always dresses up. I mentioned to her that I have a close full of cloths I love but never wear. My inner fear is that people will think I am showing off. Her response was perfect. “ You know there is no closet space in your coffin. You should enjoy it now.”

@mstwelvedeadlycyns

3 жыл бұрын

Good point

@christiana_mandalynn

2 жыл бұрын

Oh wow, that was a profound response! 🤯

@trishamorgan4

2 жыл бұрын

Loved this

@theloveyourfacegal2773

2 жыл бұрын

My sister in high school only wore half her wardrobe because she was saving it, for what idk

@sbella6719

8 ай бұрын

I live in a small town and that was exactly how I felt because I mostly see people dressing down and I didn't want to stand out. Recently I made a decision that I'm going to dress up and express my style regardless. After all, they're expressing themselves the way they want to

I wore a skirt once to go grocery shopping, and a nice little old man came up to me and complimented me on how nice I looked and how nice it was to see a lady dress like a lady, that women just didn't take the time to dress like ladies or to look nice anymore and that it was a shame.

@chicarobertson4706

2 жыл бұрын

That's interesting. I was with my niece one time and we were grocery shopping and two older men complimented her and told her she dressed the way ladies should....

@sdrogers286

2 жыл бұрын

I had a similar experience once when I was wearing a skirt in the grocery store. Thank you for your sharing. It makes me smile to think about it. Needing strength now as I seek motivate myself again. I'm in a season of grief since the death of my husband. I realize how much of my motivation to look nice was to look nice for my husband. Needing a reboot.

"Oooh, fancy! Where are you going?" and the like are passive aggressive attempts to make us feel uncomfortable, but really they are the ones who are feeling threatened. I used to feel uncomfortable or annoyed when people did that to me. Once I realized the insecurity behind it, it made me feel bad for someone who felt the need to be snarky.

@gardengirl7446

9 жыл бұрын

Holly Jamison I always say "Every day is a special occasion so I am dressed appropriately!" :)

@erikal85

9 жыл бұрын

Garden Girl Great response, i'll use that in the future!

@gardengirl7446

9 жыл бұрын

You go, girl! :)

@alexandrebelloni3880

5 жыл бұрын

Just laugh......

@victoriareynolds7185

5 жыл бұрын

I get this every day! :(

When unwanted attention comes in this way, a polite way to put the ball in someone else's court is with a question. when a person asks why we are 'dressed up' we can respond with: "Don't you just love the way beautiful clothes make you feel?!" Anytime we are uncomfortable with a question we can respond with another question. This causes the other person to pause and think.

I work at a high end jewelry store where we used to have a dress code that required the men to wear a suit and tie and the women had to wear a blazer with their choice of pants or skirt. The company wanted to experiment with our image and relax the dress code, so as not to intimidate younger customers shopping for an engagement ring. At first, myself and the other women I work with were excited to be able to expand our wardrobe to sweaters and blouses not covered up by a blazer. Slowly we all started to slip into questionable dress habits that were more casual than business. I caught myself slipping into this one day as I was picking out my outfit in the morning. I stopped and asked myself, "would I buy a $30,000 diamond from someone dressed like this?" The answer was no! Now I have started dressing up at work more, and not only do I feel better and sell more diamonds, but I've inspired my female coworkers to start doing the same!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Tanya Van Sloun What a great story!

@TheBohemianStyle

9 жыл бұрын

Tanya Van Sloun It is a shame. When I go to the bank and I see all the tellers dressed down, I ask for the manager to serve me. They always ask why and I tell the manager that how can I trust someone dressed like they are going to a night club to care for my investments?

@lisacho2725

4 жыл бұрын

Some people spend $30,000 on a diamond???

@Diana72910

4 жыл бұрын

Christina Harrison I know this is 4 years old but it is kinda rude to talk to the manager for that, you kinda get those women in trouble, you don’t know what happens in their life, how busy they are, if they struggle with money etc

@emfemmenoprobleme

4 жыл бұрын

You go. Good job!

I love this!! I dress in my best all the time! Every day of the week. I was at the grocery store and some girls were standing outside collecting money for a charity and asked, "Why are you dress so nice", and I said "Because I feel like it." Then she said, "Wow, I should do that." I use to let the comments of others bother me but I don't anymore. I have been dressing nice for the last 15 years. What I realized is that your nice appearance becomes "mirror tint" to someone else. It forces them to look at themselves. So I keep going!! I LOVE looking nice everyday and I don't care who I offend!! Now I have strange people coming up to me every day saying, "I wait for you in the garden". I like to see you everyday because you look so wonderful!

This was the story of my working career. As a prof. I wanted to dress well for my students and to uplift and honour my profession. Not everyone around me agreed with this stance and were very casual in their dress. It was hard, but I persisted! I wore my beautiful Italian shoes and dressed the way my Nonna would have wanted me to and I did not give in. I honoured my ancestors and did it my way. The dynamic never changed, but I became better because of it!

@sbella6719

8 ай бұрын

'Wanting to honor your profession' I love that!

I've dealt with this for many years now, and only now realized that "they" won. I moved from California to Colorado when I was in my twenties, and while I liked getting dressed up...fixing my hair, and putting on makeup the majority of my co-workers, friends did not. They were always quick to point out my dress, hair, or makeup. Slowly I stopped doing my hair, putting on makeup, and started wearing more relaxed attire just to fit in. A few years ago I made the decision to start wearing makeup again, and immediately got the same attention..Oh, where are you going? You look nice! etc...It was a little rough at first, but I kept at it. Once it became the "norm" the attention, compliments, sarcasm slowly faded. I still get the occasional compliment, but it's more like..."How did you do that?" or "Can you teach me this?" I agree, keep it up and others may be inspired. Thanks for the inspiration Jennifer! xoxo Bonnie

I think more people are suffering with depression these days, causing them to let themselves go.

@businesslady7840

4 жыл бұрын

True

@kimberlyperrotis8962

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I’ve been there, but one great thing depressed people can always do is to shower, dress nicely and get out of the house, it helps!

@PlantedBrands

3 жыл бұрын

@@kimberlyperrotis8962 so true I am a nurse and struggle with depression. I literally feel like I have a double life. I can work 3 12s take good care of my pts and get along with coworkers. On my days off I can stay in bed for days.

This is sooo true! This year at school (I'm a teacher), I decided to dress a little nicer. I'm 51, and decided I wanted to look nice each day, and feel good about myself. Well, initially, I got a lot of snarky comments. Then they slowly became genuine comments. Eventually, I noticed the other teachers (especially the teachers of a certain age) begin to dress nicely. One who had rarely ever done her hair actually curled her hair and looked just lovely. I think sometimes we become so busy, that we forget to respect and love ourselves. It amazed me how my personal effort effected others, but what you have said here is true!~Dana

Ugh! Yes the questioning is so annoying...."where are you going? do you have a hot date after work?!" No,I just enjoy looking my best. When I look good, I feel good.

@nataliaegorova170

3 жыл бұрын

I got exactly the same question at work one day 😏 you never know how to answer that 🤷‍♀️

Watching this 6 years later and the fact that every clothing store is offing so many options of sweat pants and sweatshirts. Ridiculous.

I've noticed casual dress in church is increasing, I like to dress my best for worship.

@susanharkema2888

8 жыл бұрын

Amen!

@kateburk2168

4 жыл бұрын

I so totally agree. Because of where I live, in FL, our dress tends to be casual. Attending church is the one time I always wear a skirt. After all, we are there to worship the Creator of the universe. Haven't been to the White House but should I ever be invited, I would dress in my best clothing (& I am no fan of our elected officials.) It is simply showing respect.

@joon_choco

3 жыл бұрын

Ikr! Because we are going to God’s house and we should dress in our best clothes 😍 that’s why in Islam we are recommended to wear our best clothes and perfumes to mosques and also to put people at ease by not giving off a bad smell in a gathering

@kimberlyperrotis8962

3 жыл бұрын

I’m pretty shocked by what people wear to church, sweat-suits and even pajamas! It’s not respectful or appropriate.

@suefrack2958

3 жыл бұрын

I've noticed this too and I think it's disrespectful to God.

I feel identify with this topic, just begin to dressing better and receive compliments from people, sometimes I feel shy, sometimes not. I am currently in the middle of treatment for breast cancer and have lost my long hair, half of my eyebrows and my very long and nice eyelashes. However, ever since the first day after I had to trim all of my natural hair, I decided not to wear scarfs and bought two nice wigs, I also put on make up and wear false eyelashes. People think that I am not sick and I receive compliments at the chemo room the ladies there even think that I am younger for my age. I don't do this because of vanity, but because It lift my spirit and I don't want to look sick, it somehow makes me feel more "normal" and it cheers me up to going on thru this with good attitude. Before the diagnosis I was a "frumpy" wife, and now my husband is very surprise (and pleased) with this change, so I plan to continue on even after treatment, as long as I still have some energy will make the effort to take care of myself and be presentable. Your channel offer great tips and is of great help on this change that I an adopting. Thank you!

@deborahhanna4397

9 жыл бұрын

God be with you during your treatment. I have a family member going through the same right now. Hugs.

@TheBohemianStyle

9 жыл бұрын

Griselda Garcia You are a very strong person and you are healing properly. You take care of yourself, dress great and you move on with your life the best you can. Good for you!!!!

@debbieshultz7335

9 жыл бұрын

Griselda Garcia What an inspiration you are!!!! Good luck with your treatments, and keep wowing everyone!!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

7 жыл бұрын

Hello Griselda, How are you doing now? Thank you for your great comment. We are praying for you!

I love this "reject our sloppy culture" I so agree!!! I love it when someone asks me why I am all dressed up, I feel so Lady like. Keep the faith Ladies. Jilly oxo

I think it's important to learn to take a compliment. I am shy and hated that attention as well -until... I learned to just say "thank you!" and kept doing what I was doing. Eventually they got used to me looking nice and that was it!

I have dealt with this very issue for years. I have always "overdressed," according to the "underdressed" people I encounter. It makes me more comfortable and confident to look nice. Jeans, a t shirt and a blazer take no more effort than jeans, a t shirt and a ratty sweatshirt jacket, as you know! I think what we (including your letter-writer) often encounter is not so much "attention," as it is rude behavior from others. Most of us, I hope, can respond with a "thank you," when told we look nice. It is the passive-aggressive people who ask, "Why are you so dressed up? Do you have a job interview somewhere else? Who are you going to lunch with? Do you have to go to court?" and that kind of thing. I believe it's not even the questions that are so hard to encounter, but the people who are rude and crass enough to ask them! Most of us just don't want to deal with people like that, and lack the skills. But, we must persevere! By the way, I love old movies and tv shows, too... when everyone dressed beautifully, and a "bad hair day" was often the topic of the show (I am thinking along the lines of "I Love Lucy," here.) Katherine Hepburn keeps me mesmerized as she floats across the screen, even when chasing leopards through the woods! Thanks so much for your video... we truly must band together to survive against those who wear pajama pants to the grocery store, and buy "pre-ripped" and "pre-faded" jeans on purpose off the rack!

@ShiaGirl18

4 жыл бұрын

Have you noticed that ripped jeans aren't new? It's hilarious that people wear ripped clothing and they seem to be ignorant that some homeless individuals wear ripped clothing.

@christiana_mandalynn

2 жыл бұрын

Ok I love your reference to “Bringing Up Baby”!!

@ketubah857

Жыл бұрын

Right?!? Ripped on purpose and pay more! What a sad commentary on us!

Yes, Towards the end of last year I started doing this with my wardrobe aswell. It really is astounding what it does for your sense of self worth, Self Esteem, and the way that people treat you in Public. It actually freaked me out. People started treating my like Royalty, like I was a really important person, because all of a sudden I decided to dress well, and with self respect every time I left the house. And then eventually I realised I was Important, and they were accurate responses to who I really was. Little things like these are game changers.

@gracelewis6071

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, this is a beautiful comment. "eventually I realised I was Important, and they were accurate responses to who I really was." I will be keeping this in mind!

@sigmasiren777

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, this is part of the reason I like to dress well, besides just being an artist and fashionista.

I remember my Grandmother always taking her time before leaving the house, getting ready with love and care. Often now, when I drive to our local stores I see young women wearing their pj's. Such a contrast. Thanks for making this video.

Some compliments are kind and heartfelt, such as a simple "you look nice today!" but, sadly, "compliments" can come from a place of jealousy in the form of veiled scarcasm. To quote Taylor Swift: "Don't you worry your pretty little mind...people throw rocks at things that shine." Dressing well is an art, and all true art is opposed. Dressing like a slob in public is simply BAD MANNERS! I think, on some level, people are aware of this fact, and when we dress well, it exposes the truth of the general sloppy rudeness of our society!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Garden Girl Love this!

@bkholch8179

9 жыл бұрын

Garden girl- I understand completely. Three is a gentleman that I work with that takes the sloppy dressing to the extreme. He shows up to work not only casual but not clean. I find his odor rude. It offends the girls in the breakroom so badly that we can't even eat when he is in there. What happened to the good old days?

@gardengirl7446

9 жыл бұрын

We can't bring back the good old days, but we can hold ourselves to a higher standard and therefore elevate and inspire those around us. As for Mr. Stinky at work, one of you girls needs to take that dude aside and KINDLY set him straight. Some people just aren't aware that they are offensive., I had to tell one of my son's friends that he needs to shower and shave and keep himself nicely dressed. I wonder if these poor folks don't have loving parents to train them properly? Help that poor guy! Ok? :)

@bkholch8179

9 жыл бұрын

I absolutely will! Thank you!

@HarrisPilton789

9 жыл бұрын

Brandi Holcomb it sounds like you all need to have a discussion with a manager about this. It's the manager's job to address these situations.

Because I think dressing well in some way honors the people that I meet every day, my response is simply, Thank you. You are worth it.

I sympathize with this so much! I dress nicely every day of the week, and I've received these kinds of comments. I always just smile big and say thank you. "This is just the way I like to dress, I enjoy it." Is the most you ever need to say. I know that when I dress nicely I feel my best, and when I dress sloppy I will feel sloppy all day. No need to change for anyone's snarky comments.

When I traveled overseas it was so nice to see women around the world dress in such beautiful clothing. I'm glad to see more Americans embracing this, Thank you for sharing.

I love this topic. In the last few years I usually never leave my house with out dressing in a skirt or dress. At first I got that same reactions from friends and family "where are you going all dressed up? ", but now it is such common place that everyone that knows me just don't pay much mind to it anymore. I really am a shy (introvert) person (people can't tell anymore because of my bright colored hair) so I do still get complements from stranger but I have just learned to say "thank you very much" with a smile and go on with my day.

This is a great video! I am on disability retirement since last year at age 50. I'll be 51 in a few weeks. I used to work at a very busy and demanding job as the Executive Secretary to the Chief of a large organization and I had to dress very well everyday. Now I am home and I find that if I don't dress well and be nicely (maybe not as turned up like I was at work) put together, I feel sluggish and not good about myself. It's nice to answer the door and greet the mail carrier looking and feeling good. I will say though, there are few and very few where I may not be "dressed up" but dressed casually but hair and face and even nails maybe be done and I feel just as great. I think out of financial necessity I developed the 10 item wardrobe many years ago. And I buy very well made clothes that are spendy but I shop when they are on sale about once every 2-3 years. And I launder them carefully so they last a long time.

Seeing people dressed nicely inspires me to reconsider how I present myself. So consider it a public service announcement to dress in a dignified and beautiful manner 🌞

“Just say thank you and move on,” was some good advice from an elderly lady I knew. Graciously accept what they say and don’t make a big deal. People get accustomed that this is just how you are.

The comments eventually stop once people realize that is your normal style. Or at least they did for me. I decided long ago to dress for myself and not let anyone else’s opinion bother me. I dress up a bit more for church, but am still dressed up more than most on a day to day basis, and that is just my comfort level. Looking like a slob is far outside of my comfort zone, even at home, partly because I want to look nice for my husband as well as for myself. Thank you for setting a positive example.

When my daughter lived in Seattle she said Bill Gates started wearing jeans to the symphony and from then on (she was in theatre) people didn't dress up for the arts as much. I hope the viewer keeps on wearing thngs that make her look pretty and realizes that people will get used to the change in her appearance. It's just new to them but they will get over it and then view her as a person who likes to dress nicely. Thank you so much for such a thought provoking video. Much love, Melissa

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

***** Jeans to the symphony... oh no! Mr. Gates should watch this video :)

I have a few thoughts. First of all, thank you! This was wonderful. I think the thing that I feel most self-conscious of when people point out how I look is that I don't want them to think that I think more highly of myself than I ought, or that I'm out to show off. So that has kept me from truly embracing dressing well...until now! :) Also, we are missionaries in Uganda, and I have to say, Ugandans dress really well {or smart, as they say}. It doesn't matter your social standing. I have seen men emerge from mud huts wearing a full suit and impeccable shoes, even in muddy conditions. I have seen women maneuver bumpy dirt roads in beautiful heels. They take their appearance very seriously. Flip flops are relegated to the washroom {for use during showers} and holey jeans would never be seen. It's like a gift they give to the world, to dress beautifully. My Ugandan friends have inspired me to dress well every single day!

@gardengirl7446

9 жыл бұрын

Joy Forney This is so beautifully written and expressed! Thank you for sharing!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

9 жыл бұрын

Joy Forney What a great testimony. Thank you for sharing this!

@TheBohemianStyle

9 жыл бұрын

Joy Forney They are classy people!

I hear this a lot too. It kind of amazes me because I still get this sort of reaction even when I am wearing a fairly casual dress simply because it's a dress. I tell people that dressing the way I do makes me feel good. It's a simple act of self-love. There may be someone out there who thinks that is selfish, but I don't really care. It would be selfish to spend a child's college fund to finance a wardrobe or to dress my children in rags so that I can afford to buy nice things for myself, but I am not depriving anyone and it's my money, my body, and my time. It's not anybody else's business. As a side note: Two of my daughters are adults and no longer live at home. They have noticed how fabulous I look and how wonderful I feel now that I strive to be presentable. It has inspired them to step up their respective wardrobes and to be presentable as well.

I'm so glad this subject was addressed. I'm a true jeans lover.....but that means a cute top, great accessories and fabulous shoes. I don't own a sweatshirt.....simply because that means I won't be able to wear one if its not in my closet! But in my job I need to dress professionally, and I hate "slacks" on me. They are hard to fit. So I wear dresses and skirts. I'm one of the few at my workplace that does not need to wear scrubs. I get a lot of sideways glances, and have to work extra hard to get the ladies to talk to me, but they eventually do. I've been asked if I work out and clean house in my dresses and heels. Now why would I do that, just because they see me from 8-5 dressed like that? I responded once to someone that posed that question whether they work out in their scrubs, since that's all I had seen them wear.

@camjamcam1

4 жыл бұрын

Hahaha! :) Good response!

I love dressing well because of the positive response I receive. Who doesn't love it when your 9-year old says, "You look beautiful, Mommy". I made a decision quite a while ago that I didn't want my boys remembering that Mom was always in sweats or yoga pants. I find that people open doors, smile at me more, give me hotel room upgrades and overall better service because I try to dress well - especially when traveling. I'm not following every fashion trend, I'm not spending $1000's of dollars but my classic 10-item wardrobe is serving me well. I don't "save" my best things any longer - I have donated everything that I don't love that doesn't look great and wear "my best" everyday. Why not wear a DVF wrap dress to shop at Target? I might dress it down with leggings, and flats but why let it sit in the closet waiting for a special occasion? Thanks for a great set of books, Jennifer, with wonderful reminders of what I really already knew but just needed a friendly push of inspiration. (And having "10" as my target plus extras has really been a great guideline.)

I'm a stay at home mom and I get dressed everyday! It makes me feel good about myself. I do get asked "Where are you going?" It doesn't bother me anymore. I used to get annoyed when people would say I was dressed up because I looked casual in my opinion. I was dressed, not dressed up, like you said. I enjoy the comments now. I have a friend that said to me "My goal is to be like you and put a little more effort in my appearance. I see you dressed nice at the grocery store!"

I like watching the “Golden Girls” . Aside from being a funny show, they dressed up really nice! Thank you for sharing!

Yes! I’m a hairstylist and own my own studio. I’ve always made an effort to look nice. However, I’ve found it curious when some of my clients would say that same phrase, exactly! Why wouldn’t I be dressed nicely for work!? I’ve also always made an effort to at least look “cute” when running my errands or even washing/waxing my own Jeep. I’m 55 and come from a generation that typically tried to be presentable. If anything be lovely, excellent, or praiseworthy, let us think on such things...” Because of you, I now make an effort to look nice when I’m around the house doing all of my cooking and cleaning. Thank you, for inspiring me! Another EXCELLENT video!

Clinton Kelly called it the pajamification of America. It is so true. I happen to live in an area of Tennessee where it's not done en masse but I've noticed it's sneaking in. Frustrating! Doesn't take but two seconds to take off the pj's and put on pants!

Well, Jennifer, I am listening to this years after you posted it because I have only recently discovered you! I was on a jury a few years back and after the first day, I decided to dress up a bit out of respect for the folks attending the trial and to represent the seriousness of my position as a juror. Nothing was said to me, but I found it very interesting that in time all of the women and some of the men on the jury dressed up more. Thank you for speaking up for tasteful dressing.

I used to work for a very large corporation but I had to wear the same thing every day (it was a theme park) so most of my coworkers never saw me in anything but the subscribed 'outfit'. Once a month we had office meetings with our manager and coworkers. I always wore a cocktail dress--nothing sleazy but very tasteful, and it sure had people wondering about my 'other' life. sometimes it's nice to smile, say thank you and just mess with their heads.

Speaking of how low we as a culture have become, especially in the United States, I'm most bothered by people who come in jeans, sneakers, or tight revealing "club" dresses to funerals!

@reginasemenenko148

4 жыл бұрын

OMG! I totally don't understand the people who dress so poorly for funerals. I have been to so many funerals at churches and saw women wearing black mini skirts! I guess they thought it was OK because the skirt was black!

@kimberlyperrotis8962

3 жыл бұрын

Or white fancy bridal-looking dresses to weddings, or black ones.

I just recently moved and the people here are much more casual. I was wearing my heels during grocery shopping, and everyone kept staring at me. It made me feel very insecure. Thank you for this video. ❤️

I work in an organization where everyone dresses casually. I, however, always make a point of dressing nice, being properly accessorized and well groomed. I've seen how my actions have impressed upon others to do the same. Just this week, a coworker told me how inspired she was by me to dress nice. I gave her my primary tip for this: as a working woman, we are so hurried in the morning to get everything done, get dressed, ready for the day and out the door. It's hard to give your appearance the thought and consideration it needs. So my strategy for dressing in the morning is to be prepared. As I do the weekly laundry, I assemble my work outfits for the entire week. I hang 5 assembled outfits in my closet along with accesories (necklace and bracelet). In the morning, no matter how hurried I am, I know I can reach into my closet and grab a complete outfit to wear. I am so glad that I am now inspiring other women to do the same!

@sigmasiren777

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t even have to plan outfits, I just find it super simple & easy to put together cute outfits & I wear staple accessories that pretty much go with everything.

If you don't like all of the sudden attention, I would start wearing different things at different times and a lot of people didn't really notice. I think when you make a drastic change (like a complete makeover or overhaul), people will notice. I also feel like dressing well or dressing nice (this is different for everyone depending on their style) is a form of self-compassion and self-care. Everyone's style is different and nice is relative in this respect. I don't think it is exclusively dresses, heels, etc. I dress well (I don't wear a dress and heels everyday, but usually nice jeans and a nice top on the weekend and dress clothes to work) because I want to. I see a nice piece of clothing and I want to wear it. I think that might be the best reply is: "Because I want to." I would just ignore the question because I would hate justifying something so insignificant. Just do what you want! Don't worry about other people! If they are concerned with what you are wearing at work, they don't have enough to do at work.

I struggle with this a lot, moving from a state where people are generally much better dressed, to one where anything more than jeans and a t-shirt tends to get you a LOT of attention, both from women who give you glares, and men who seem to think you're dressing nicely to invite all kinds of wrong attention, it's rough just going to the store. I find myself flip flopping back between dressing down and dressing how I want to dress. This really hit home when I went back to visit, thought I was dressing nicely, and found myself embarrassed for how sloppily I was dressed in comparison to everyone else!! My saving grace are the older men who give me a look of respect for taking care of myself.

Jennifer, I’m sure you consider this video old and unpolished, compared to your present series, but in fact, nothing could reflect more polish than the perspective you presented here! And you did so with quiet dignity and a gentle spirit. Well done, Jennifer.

Exactly! Be the change you'd like to see in the world.

I love that you mentioned that it is important to address "the problem" meaning that if we always run away from what makes us fell uncomfortable, we will attract it in other situations of our life anyway because the "problem" is inside of us never the other way around. Rather than being anoyed by theses coments, consider that comment as an opportunity to "make you work" on your self esteem and self love. Great topic, I was also going to cover the subject in a future video (great mind think alike ; ) I absolutely love your channel but it is my first time commenting on it. Thanks so much for being so authentic! Natalie

@gardengirl7446

9 жыл бұрын

BEAUTY INSIDE OUT This is so well said! I think many of our struggles come from failing to realize that we are always attracting to us exactly what we need. Instead of accepting this and learning the lesson from it and growing, we tend to fight it and try to change situations in order to force them to match our expectations, rather than relaxing into life and letting the situations change us. Looking forward to your video on this topic, Natalie. :) Katooshie

I can rewatch all your videos year after year and learn something new every time. Thank you for enriching my life (our lives) for nearly a decade Jennifer. You are a beautiful human 💖🌸

Just discovered your books and videos. Love your message! We can help restore & renew our society one message at a time whether it's through how we dress, walk, talk or act. Here is to gentrification of our country! Keep up the important work, Jennifer ;-)

@TheDailyConnoisseur

8 жыл бұрын

+Julie Martin Thank you Julie!

I find people get used to whatever "normal" you present: make-up, no make-up, fancy, casual, etc. Eventually, they lose interest.

One co-worker would brush her hair and apply lipstick on the job because she believed YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE GOING TO MEET.

The main thing that u have to keep in mind is When u look good You feel good so seek things that gives u joy and making u feel good abt yourself! I like presenting my self in a good way when it comes to clothing but in my school if I wear something else than hoodie and baggy pants, idk why but they take it too much although is not.... But am trying to ignore the attention and rude compliment!

Hello Jennifer. Listening to you, I realise that my coworkers and I always dress well. Not overdressed though, simple outfits, but nice basics, and we don't hesitate to compliment one another if somethig new or specially nice appears (it could be a new lipstick or a new pair of earrings or a scarff or whatever). For me, today, it was a pai of jeans, flat shoes, a navy blue blazer and a white silk blouse. As a matter of fact, I think we would notice more if one of us would be dressed too casually, we would think something was going wrong with the person. Thank you for your videos, so enjoyable each time. Réjane.

I just came across this post ( I understand it’s an older post) ... I feel that after a time this will become this Woman’s “new normal” and people will stop commenting on her appearance. She will just become in their minds “ that woman who always dresses beautifully“

FINALLY A VIDEO ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been looking for this for years.

This is amazing! I had no idea that other people experienced this same situation. I am 20 years old and graduated high school only a few years ago and that is when it was very difficult to accept people's comments on how I dress. I used to dress down to avoid the comments but I realized how much happier I feel when I look my best. I start to feel my best and do my best when I look on the outside how I feel on the inside!

Hi Jennifer, always enjoy your videos. You are a kind & lovely person inside & out. I struggle with this topic, especially lately. There seems to be a trend starting. But it may be hard to believe, but it's not a new thing at all. About 20 years ago I found myself pondering the same question. So I began dressing very well to see if I got treated differently and indeed I did get treated differently, to my surprise. I got noticed & helped immediately when I walked into a store...more people smiled at me & greeted me & much more. My story is a long complicated one on this topic, so not enough space to go into all of that, but I am wrestling with the thoughts & feelings behind both dressing well verses dressing comfortably ...there's something about being able to have a child with sticky fingers crawl into our laps or sitting on the fresh earth, running barefoot through the green grass or scrubbing the wet shower and not feeling we have to be dressed properly...and panic at the thought of our clothing getting dirty or even ruined from the experience. I personally have fibro & chronic fatigue and every choice of movement makes a difference in my daily allotted energy...l continue to search for an answer that feels right for me on this topic...maybe you can help? ~ Carol

I have to change into scrubs when I get to work so I walk in dressed up and I get that ALL the time- "you're dressed up,you look nice, are you going somewhere after work?" So I kindly say "awe, thank you, no,I just like to wear my normal clothes." I began dressing up more regularly after watching your channel and it makes me feel so good! And I don't "waste" my nice clothes.

I totally identity! Thank you for highlighting this issue. I particularly feel out of sorts wearing heels, especially at my age.

I loved your two books Jennifer. I did not know you made the third one, so I'll order it soon. Just found you on you-tube this month. I'm so happy you're there!

Hey Jennifer I am a new subscriber from Australia and have been loving your videos and thank you 🙏 I’m 53 and have always wore dresses and skirts and have always got asked the question where are You going today even when my kids were little and the other day my 26 yr old and I had a dress on at the nursery buying plants both our dresses were under 30 dollars on a sale and they were asking us so many questions about being “dressed up” i believe we need to wear what ever we feel great in life is too short Thanks Jennifer you are an inspiration 💕💕xxxx

I recently did the same thing and I live in a small town. I was putting gas in my car and the person at the desk said “why are you all dressed up?!”. I decided to take it as a compliment. He said it with a smile and I did not sense any Ill will from it. I think that once it becomes normal for you to dress well on a daily basis the comments eventually stop? It ends up just becoming what people expect.

Hi Jennifer, love ur ideas and the way you share them. Am learning a lot. I always have a quest to define ourselves. Your videos are really helpful. 🙂

Good evening Jennifer! My experience has actually been mostly negative. I moved to a small city from a more metropolitan area less than a year ago. When my husband and I walk into, well, basically anywhere, we get dirty looks and people being obvious that they are talking about us. We always dressed up every day in the city so this came as a shock. Here it's sweats, camo, and anything to do with hunting. One day I was horribly sick and went to the drug store and doctor in my sweats. Wouldn't you know it? I was treated very well and got all kinds of smiles. Its so frustrating but I won't back down and be super casual. It's just not who I am inside. Thank you for your constant reassurance that I am not strange!

@gilanin

9 жыл бұрын

Brandi Holcomb Just to be clear, they are the shallow ones. They are the ones who care about how you dress and what everybody else is wearing.

@eliseeey95

8 жыл бұрын

Don't let other people bring you down! They're the ones that need to work on their poor attitudes Even if they think you are overdressed they should keep that to themselves and treat you with respect, you are not hurting anyone! Keep being you

Hello there! I just stumbled across your channel through Inspired by Nikki! I have been binge listening all day!!! I absolutely love your content! I have always been know as the individual who always looks put together. My parents taught us to put our best foot forward in life. And you can never take your first impression back. So they encouraged my siblings and I to take pride it our appearance.

I experience this constantly! I totally agree with you Jennifer that this world is just too casual! I love dressing nicely and even tho I'm shy about attention from it... I love how I feel!!!

I agree completely. I get better service at stores and restaurants when I am dressed decently, not sloppily and lazily. But we need better "come backs". Lets work together on this because I dont have the all around good answer yet. Also, since we take Saturday off because it is the Sabbath, we rest completely. I stay in my pj's all day. I rest, nap, eat, read, nap again. We let our bodies get completely rested up. We have not been sick in years. Thank you for your blogs. 😊 we need you!🤗

Lovely video and explanation of why dressing our best is important.

I definitely needed this video! Thank You again Jennifer. I absolutely loved my new habits I began to form after reading your first two books then I moved and now where I am living I have slipped back into my rut of sloppiness due to rushing and stress being a single mother and drifted from everything I was applying that I learned. I am slowly trying to get back up again, I have plans on rereading the first two books again and get inspired again. I started by watching your videos again, they definitely know how to REinspire someone who learned so much! Many Blessings Jennifer, I look forward to your next book also!!

wonderful message, you are so young and so wise.thank you!

Jennifer, I’ve been going back through your old videos. And I’m really enjoying them! I just want you to know that they are still relevant. I l❤the casual style, just talking like you’re chatting with a friend.

Enjoy everything I am gleaming from all your video's and books. Thank you

Beautifully said, Jennifer.

Oh my goodness! This is soo very much what happens to me. I am so happy to have found your channel. Sincerely, Gabby

i cant believe this video is 7 years old. The info is so helpful for today, and so transformative for me!! Thanks lady. I hope u still make content.

I just found your channel, and so glad to hear that you think lemon just don't dress up any more. That some I like about the old black and white movies of the 40's and 50's. Everyone dressed to go to town.

Thank you so much , I feel the same way ppl HV really become very casual ...

Amazing content- best on this topic so far! Thank you!!❤

I agree with you, I enjoy dressing in appropriate fashion for every situation, I have clothing for the gym, my personal casual life and my professional life. You are right when you dress appropriately others who are not dressed in that manner notice and they feel uncomfortable that is why they will stare at you or ask an in appropriate question like " are you going out". I stumbled across this channel and love it, keep up the good work and I will look for your books online.

I love watching your videos, I'm catching up on some I missed. Thank you for this particular one because I can relate to this. I am a very busy retired grandmother since 2010. While I was working for 40 odd years, I always dressed well. So it wasn't a surprise to anyone. After retirement I began to "dress down" and my volunteer work and babysitting consisted of jeans and shirt or similar outfits. It felt good for a while. But this year after finding you, you reminded me of how well I felt getting ready for my day. So I started to put makeup on again, put on clothes that made me feel great and for the first few weeks I got comments like you mentioned and I just said "Thank you" (I too don't really like too much attention) But after a while people just accepted how I dressed and how I looked. And aside from the occasional "You look nice today". People just accepted my "new" look. So my advice to any of the young girls who are afraid to continue to dress well and look their best all the time is: After a while the unwelcomed comments will stop and you will feel good about your decision to look and feel your best! Thank you so much for your videos and books I so enjoy them. Cheers, Donna

Hi I always dress my best and like one of the comments I too wear anything I buy the next day,but all my friends except it because they now me and they now that's natural for me to dress that way, if I didn't dress up I now they would be asking me if I was okay because that would be very unusual for me lol . I always except all compliments with a simple "Thank you". One of my friends once said to me " You always look so put together like you have just walked off a marks and Spencers display window " I now she was genuine and that comment was so lovely to hear I simply said "Thank you". I too am new to your channel I have also brought both your books I love them can't wait to read your new book thank you for sharing x.

I loved this video Jennifer! Your message is a reminder to me that dressing well has always lifted my spirit! When I feel like I look my best, not only do I feel more confident, I'm more productive, happy, and peaceful. I'm going to step up my game and make more of an effort to dress well and look my best every day. This is going to become my new job! Not only for the reason for uplifting my own spirit but to inspire those around me. Thank you, thank you!

You are right about the seed that we can plant in other people. I have notice that among people surrounding me. Most of people compliment from a good hearth.🌺

I usually wear dresses everyday, and will receive compliments every now and then. I used to feel so uncomfortable when someone complimented anything of mine. I would get so awkward and not know what to say (do I say where I got my dress/earrings/purse? Do I compliment something of theirs?). Now I just smile, say thanks, and that's it (à la Jennifer). I hope your writer doesn't lose courage and keeps on dressing well everyday! It gets so much easier, and eventually people become used to your nice outfits and will stop commenting all the time. Thanks for your videos! They're a lovely way to brighten up my Mondays

I agree with your philosophy 100%. We also conduct ourselves in accordance to our dress. I feel that really presents itself at work.

Jennifer, First of all, I love your channel, I found it through your TEDx talk and was fascinated by it. Second, I feel very identified with what you mention, I've been getting more attention, although I have been doing the changes slowly, and people are like, mind blown, just for wearing some mascara and a little bit of lipstick the other day for the first time I got friends to say "Ohh my!" like they were in shock! hahah, happily I know they are coming from the nicest place possible. I´m lucky with them. But there is also the kind of attention that is annoying, that sees me and assumes that I'm looking nice for someone... However, I know what kind of person that is, the one who says that so it doesn't really bother me anymore :) I just love putting thought into my wardrobe and outfits, it feels so good, so empowering, I feel so empowered, ready for anything that could happen. Thank you!

Jennifer, this is an excellent subject. I so often tell my daughters that they are princesses; beautiful inside and out! When we dress well, our actions, manners, and character tend to be much more "princess-like." Thank you for this reminder to raise the bar, to keep our standards high, and to encourage other women to do the same. You are a blessing!

Jennifer, It is AMAZING! I was just thinking about this on the way to work today. I always try and dress well, but last Friday, I dressed especially extra nice because my husbands college graduation was after work. All day long, I get asked if I have a job interview, or I go to someone's office needing information to complete a project and they just want to talk about how I look. It took the cake when a woman came over to ask a question during my lunch - which I was working through - but then instead of asking the question so that I could get done with my work and lunch, she just kept asking "what did you do?" and to which I replied that I had dressed up a little extra for hubby's graduation, but she kept on, getting stern, with her hand on her hip and insisting "no you have done something, what have you done? Did you do your hair? What did you do?" Demanding an answer to her question (which I suppose she thought was complimentary) I don't know how to deal with this honestly. I don't like the attention, I don't enjoy playing these giggle and banter games talking about ME and how I look, etc. I usually try and give a simple thank you. I don't care for compliments. It makes me feel like these people think that I dress for them? I DO enjoy compliments from my hubby, or occasionally I catch him admiring me (

@gilanin

9 жыл бұрын

Robert N Melissa Fayyazi Really, that is something that makes me really mad. I don't loose it and tell them to shove it up their behinds, but it used to bother me. A "friend" asked why am I dressed up so nicely, but did it with an intonation and attitude that wanted to say something else about me. I didn't know how to answer at that time, because it was new to me and I didn't know what to say, so I tried with an "uhm...ermmm". I don't remember if I tried to explain myself, and done very badly and that's why I was so mad at myself. But thinking about it later I thought to myself, "Why do I have to explain myself to rude people? Why do I have to -anything- to others when they are doing it out of bad feelings?". The thing is that I am not classy, because next time she dressed up, I did the same to her, but mainly because I wanted her to know what it feels like, so she wouldn't do it anymore. She didn't answer, so a little later I did it again and she kept quiet. I don't know if she was angry or what, I didn't care. But the reason she didn't answer was because she was dressing up for a boy who wasn't her boyfriend, I knew it, but I just wanted to return the "favour". She didn't want to admit that she was that kind of person. At least she knew what it was like and I don't think she ever did it to me again after that, I know it's childish but I would return the same shit they give to me if I have the chance.

How delightful to hear that you are watching one of my often watched DVD series: Murder She Wrote, and are watching for one of the exact same reasons...loving the careful dressing of Jessica Fletcher! I vote for the return of "sensible shoes" like she wore. (My high arches prob. Ouch!) A fun fact-- I am a vintage vendor, and in my old town a fellow vendor was an older woman whom had been an "Old Hollywood" costume designer and dresser, she had worked some on Murder She Wrote! I now live on the California coast in a small town. When we came here I remarked to my husband, "Honey do you realize we live in Cabot Cove, but without the murders?!" I have a suggestion for your next series watch...To the Manor Born! British Comedy BBC series. You will love Audrey, and her sense of both propriety and classic style!

@debbieshultz7335

9 жыл бұрын

VintageChrystelle Thank you for the show recommendation!

Oh Jennifer! It's as if you knew exactly what I needed to hear! I have tried and failed so many times to maintain using my best for this reason! Oh and pretty please is there any way you could do a video dedicated to the topic of dressing well AND ladylike in a hot climate? I struggle with this. Especially, like yourself, since I am the mother to two young girls one of which is still nursing! I spend much time in our large garden tending to my flowers, herbs and vegetables and I feel at a loss.

Thank you algorithm for offering up this particular video today! I dress in vintage-inspired dresses or skirts, and because we don't have a car, I walk everywhere. People have pulled their cars over to compliment me on my outfit sometimes. Or they stop me in the grocery store and say something like "I keep passing you by, and I just wanted to say...[insert compliment]." I've had to figure out how to deal w it, and I mostly say thank you in a slightly surprised tone and wish them a good day... I haven't gotten much hostility, which is nice, but I personally find that easy to ignore when it does come up. Anyway, I was interested to hear what you had to say on the subject and I think you're spot on. Thanks for this (old, I know) video!

Thanks so much for your advice! I'm trying to dress better, but it's very hard to me exactly because of all the attention I have to deal. I know I could look great, but it's just leaving home that I feel completely vulnerable to the other's judgments. I am also struggling against a very low self estime that I built my whole life, than I'm aware that dressing well is a very important step!

This is such a wonderful video Jennifer. You are so right on in what you said about a society as a whole dressing sloppy. People used to dress up for church, but not any more. I have always dressed up and feel so much better when I do. Thank you for bringing up the issue of comments that we get when we dress up. I guess the best way to handle it is a simple thank you.

I have been rewatching your videos and this one especially speaks to me. Not because I don’t like the attention, but because I actually really do enjoy the positive attention that I get especially from older ladies and gentlemen. Just this week I got compliments on the joyful clackity sound of my vintage-inspired heels on the pavement. A senior man called me “such a lovely young lady” to his friend, as I greeted them with a good morning. Another senior man complimented me on my dress (“oh young lady you look so nice!”) and we sat down for a little chat whilst we waited for our take away order. It was so unexpectedly lovely. You can have such a beautifying effect on passersby and close ones by dressing nicely. I think we forget that it brings joy to others as well. I work in an office environment and always wear skirts and dresses, whilst my colleagues (junior staff) wear jeans and pullovers. I notice the senior staff striking up more spontaneous conversations with me, and they dress to the nines. At a conference, my boss wore the mens version of my very similar heeled brogues and we had a little laugh about that. It’s just little things like that, that aren’t so little after all. It’s about how YOU feel in your clothes too. I move more graciously in nice clothes. I stand taller. My boyfriend loves me in jeans and no makeup. I do that sometimes, as a treat for him haha. But doing that too much can make me feel drab and unworthy, and other self-care things start to slip as well. I just don’t feel put together and that affects my confidence and feeling of self-worth.

Even 20+ years ago, one could encounter pressure to 'dress down' at work. I have worked places where those who dressed up were ostracized and hassled for doing so. They were seen as trying to better themselves, or thinking too highly of themselves (ridiculous!). There is an old saying, 'Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.' I guess some people felt threatened by those who dressed up to go to work but that is their problem not ours who wish to look nice. Once, when I worked in a big insurance company which shared a building with other businesses, I went to an office and there was a sign on the receptionists desk which read; 'Our employees are enjoying casual Friday' to let customers know the office was not always so casual. Back then we would donate money to charity to be able to wear jeans on Fridays! Can you imagine walking into a business and seeing a sign, 'Our employees love to dress well for work!'? Oh dear, to feel the need to explain why people are dressed up the way we sued to explain why they were not!

Hi Jennifer.....I just watched your video for the first time, and I couldn't agree MORE with everything you said. I make it a point to always dress with cachet, something learned after 22 years of living in Europe. I find the current casual slob look appalling and I consider myself as a lone rebel in chic, minimalist style....your book "Lessons From Madame Chic" gave me such a lift and a great confirmation to continue what I'm doing, fashion wise.

I completely agree! I have learned to accept the compliment and learned this attitude from my mother. She is always dressed up, in matching heels and matching coat. People used to ask where she was going but in time most of her friends started dressing up to meet up with her! I do the same, I make much more of an effort for my appearance when I am going to see her, although I will never wear matching heels, I try to find more chic clothing that suits my comfort level :)

@melvinharrell3584

5 жыл бұрын

Hey Jennifer. I agree with you 100 percent.people are supposed to dress up and take care of them selves every single day, and I am a man.

I love how you mention," Murder She Wrote." We have also been watching Magnum P.I, Simon and Simon, etc...other 80's series to see the styles, accesories, etc. and just the ladies apparel in general. Not necessarily to copy exactly, but see the women even walking down the street. Count the dresses, skirts, well groomed ladies!! Definitely a tool for learning! Blessings Mrs.O

Love this video!! I don't even dress "nice" really but recently I've been wearing casual dresses a lot because I'm pregnant and it's just more comfortable. I cannot tell you how many people have said "wow you're dressed up!" It makes me uncomfortable, so I really appreciate the encouragement.

I’m here 2021! Currently pandemic life. Ugh! Definitely needed to hear this.