Whenever someone specially my mom tells me to do sth that I was about to do, I feel anger and refuse to do it. Tonight I decided to search about it and I came to this phenomena of reactance😊

For me, this is a great example. Say your parent or spouse wants you to take out the trash. They could say “Why don’t you take out the trash?” “I wish you would take out the trash.” “Take out the trash.” or “Would you please take out the trash?” I’m most likely fine with the last one, but all of the others trigger something in me and it’ll be the last thing I want to do. Tone matters too.

You're on fire! Thanks for making so much high quality content frequently, never fails to make my day!

@MindfulThinks

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my videos!

Man, I really admire ur dedication on making all of your youtube videos

@MindfulThinks

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! Many more to come!

Really like your simplicity bruh! Just subscribed

YO THIS IS FIRE FR LITERALLY GOT ALL SHIT DONE TODAY BY DOING THIS

Love your videos

Great explenation

I wonder if reverse psychology would work on my boss. One time, my new coworker showed me the coffee she accidentally made watery. She apologized and I _almost_ said "I'm fine with it, but [our boss] doesn't approve of honest mistakes." She came in when I merely said, "It's cool." Whoo! I got lucky. Imagine if she heard my near-slip. Of course, I think I'm right about her not approving of honest mistakes. My boss once questioned me for putting black linens on the tables for the wedding reception instead of white, the correct/usual color (but in my defense, we *usually* put on black linens for *any* event, and I don't even generally set the reception linens). Oh, and she was upset I had signed up for a one-person shift. I'll admit, I am much better with a helping hand and guide, but come on, that's no excuse for being insensitive. One of our student leader's responsibilities is organizing who works which shifts on the schedule, and my boss scolded him for not noticing I had signed up for a one-person shift. When she asked him if she thought I could do the shift, I answered for him with a firm "yes," because I felt belittled by her. She said she didn't think so, was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that, I don't know how much clearer I can get for you to listen" (something like, that, so I'm not perfectly quoting her), and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. I regretfully didn't stand up for myself because I was too intimidated. Where am I going with this? Suppose I had replied to my coworker, "It's cool, [our boss] is very patient and understanding" when she walked in. I wonder if that would've made her think, "Wow, John really thinks I'm those two things? I've never acted understanding when he made mistakes or got things mixed or jumbled up. I've always expressed my condemnation and given him a piece of my mind."

I guess i found my main problem in all the things im going through in life

Thank you for the video. recently I just started something new in my life. and many people around me kept tellin me what I should do. I understand that they are coming from a good place but I can't help but feel frustulated and at the same time as you said, not wanting to do what they are saying even tho I was thinking of doing that before they have said it. Do you have an advice on how to not feel this way?

The pandemic has given us millions of examples of reactance.

@MindfulThinks

2 жыл бұрын

You got it!

Freedom. Freedom. Freedom. What exactly is freedom? Perhaps you could make a video on that. Thank you.

@Imdylanjensen

Жыл бұрын

Freedom, put simply, is our ability to act upon a choice. When that option is threatened or eliminated, psychological reactance theory would predict a higher likelihood of reactance. Meaning that would we react in some way to restore that “freedom,” or ability to act how we want. You really only see the reactance if there’s a possibility of restoring the freedom however. If it’s impossible, reactance is unlikely. (I’m currently doing research on the topic!)

I like how he put pimples for representing a teenager😂

Maybe I will

nobody going to tell me not to leave no reaction

Yea ... I'm a reactant ...

Watermelon

@papapio2979

2 жыл бұрын

Wrong video buddy

My father would always tell me kids are suppose to be seen, not heard. And i was always expected to grab him a glass of milk, and cups of coffee. He owned a million dollar buisness, and him and my brother (who was 15 years older then me) would tell me im expected to always have coffee out for the employees. Then me and my brother would have a disagreement and i would have to walk back home all the time from a jobsite. Even if it was out of town. Then i would have to hear about how i deserve no friends, no sports, just work. And that, i was put on earth so that my dad and brother had spare parts. Then about 3-4 times every week, they would drink a whole bottle of barcardi between them 2 and talk about how pathetic everyone under them was, then get violent with me whenever i wanted to stick up for myself. My brother would sit on me, as he was 300 pounds when i was only 110 pounds at age 14. My dad was very close to 400 pounds my entire life. Then i would get told how i dont work hard enough, and how ill never go through what they go through. I was told this at 13. And kept being told for 5 years. I had to put my brother in a headlock when i was 19 cuz he kept physically pushing me around. They ran their live like something out of a mafia movie. Using fear, domination, manipulation against me to drop everyone from my moms side of the family (cuz my dad knocked up his secretary) including my other brother, my uncle, and my cousin, which i have a much stronger bond with my other brother and my couson then i do with anyone on my dads side. Ive been told im crazy, lazy, ive been called a liar for telling the truth, ive been told suicide is selfish, meanwhile my brother calls up my dad while he was in the hospital for 7 days straight (convinced he was gonna die) and my brother hollars and screams about how he wasnt getting everything in the will. I was only 20 at this time. My dad ended up giving everything to my brother, and i was told i should kiss my brothers ass if i was ever gonna make it in this world. At the age of 26, i hate them. Hate them more then i ever thought i could. My dads side is fully corrupt. And i dont even want to deal with alot of those on my moms side. Im just glad i made the dicision to never work for them ever again. Id rather be a good person, rather then live like that and convince myself its fine to treat my kids like that.