See that thermonuclear warhead? That’s for people who don’t say please. See this? Its called a smiley face. See these people smiling while eating chocolate? Thats for people who do say please.

@ericlondon2663

Жыл бұрын

Then the alien finally gets the chocolate. Only for his purple skin to turn a sickly pink and white. Apparently, not all species have the biochemistry to eat that chocolate.....and that was f'ing nobility, a f'ing PRINCE. ....this is going to cause a war....

@dwightehowell8179

6 ай бұрын

Dogs and chocolate don't go together or so I'm told. @@ericlondon2663

*Abducts person* . Look at those savages coming to armed defense of their own. wtf

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

how dare they11!

The Master Sargent had balls of Titanium Alloy. He had better have gotten the Medal of Honor for that level of diplomacy. He may have single-handedly prevented an Interstellar conflict.

Consent is important

@genericname42

3 жыл бұрын

And first

Kidnapping and other Declarations of War must be avoided.

So alien takes someone without asking and expects said person to have a civil conversation with them? Even the CIA expects problems from those they take. This is caveman level stupid. Sequel please?

@calvingreene90

2 жыл бұрын

Arrogance lots and lots of arrogance.

@erikagehm2805

2 жыл бұрын

@@calvingreene90 true.

@Amoth_oth_ras_shash

2 жыл бұрын

@@calvingreene90 seconds that indeed..perhaps not caveman stupid... but obscene amounts of arrogance forgetting that just because your stronger ,its a good idea to consider your own reaction if the roles where reversed.

Michael Dayman: “I swear I hear him say the name as “bother the dragon” - and every time I associate that with “bad idea”.” (Bob the dragon) Explanation: I read this comment, and I just had to make it main so it can get seen by others. It is so great.

@carlfranz6805

3 жыл бұрын

I heard the same thing but I heard it as "Bother, the Dragon". Which hit me as something from Terry Pratchett.

I love it, he says it’s not a threat. While threatening a whole ass civilization

This needs to be transmitted into space as a general advisory.

Oh boy, grabbed a grunt off a base, that seems to be a forward base. This dood is screwed. And most decidedly not in a fun way.

@thegrimreaper1892

3 жыл бұрын

Well it’s not gonna be fun for them, that’s for sure

@CT-1035

2 жыл бұрын

@@thegrimreaper1892 for the person who launched it, yes, the person on the receiving end, less so

This really seems like it’d have a sequel and if so I’d love to see it.

Well done l by all. Also, the alien reacted smartly to the information he had. Its nice when people act rationally.

While a common trope, no realistic space-faring civilization worth it's salt should have any issues studying our biology and culture from light-years away, given that we've broadcast entire programs dedicated to explaining exactly why we do this and that, in pretty much all languages, for over 60 years now. Oh, and translation of our languages would be fairly swift as well, given the sheer volume of data freely available to any creature that manages to interpret something as basic as radio waves, nevermind our extensive phone networks or, after some research/hacking, the internet.

@alganhar1

2 жыл бұрын

Oh, would translation be relatively swift? Rather an arrogant assumption in my opinion. It has taken several lucky finds for us to be able to read several of our own ancient languages, the Rosetta Stone being the most famous but it is far from the only example. And that is with human languages, the same species, using the same sound range and the same vocal chords for speech. This is BEFORE you start looking at context and how society affects language, colloquialisms and the like. Would all the technological stuff be relatively easy? Sure, but translating a completely unknown language of a completely different species from a completely different world? THAT is a MUCH more difficult proposition. Our language is very much linked to how we as humans think, and there are huge differences in HUMAN languages, how different do you think the language of a totally alien species will be? Universal Translators are a nice Sci Fi trope, but a quick experiment with Google Translate should reveal even to you how very DIFFICULT such a thing actually is. Especially when you consider that much of our language is coloured by our body language and facial expressions, which are both non verbal queues. Good luck working THOSE out without years of study....

@DarkVeghetta

2 жыл бұрын

​@@alganhar1 Why would anyone attempt communications _without_ spending at least a decade or so deciphering everything that one could about the other's language, customs, and beliefs? Unless you clearly have better guns/tech, it would be utterly foolish to communicate with a different species without properly investigating them. Given how easily-available we make ourselves to the galaxy at large, there's no reason for any other species to not take their time before reaching out. Also, I think you're underestimating just how much comparative data we've been giving off. Nevermind we've literally made a space-Rosetta Stone intended specifically for non-humans and shot it into space on Voyager and have also broadcast similar messages into space for years. Nevermind the wealth of information and inferences one could make by simple observation of our physical characteristics. Once you get down to translating a language, if you have living examples of it freely available, it really isn't that hard long-term. It would take effort, sure; but this wouldn't be a one-alien operation, I'd imagine (and we've managed to translate dead languages with just one very persistent guy more than once). Sure, many concepts and items wouldn't have analogues (depending on multiple factors, but primarily the age of the civilization studying us), but many should, by way of being fellow carbon-based life (silicone and otherwise are very unlikely, unfortunately) and the fact that we share a common set of physics. Heck, mathematics are universal in terms of their foundation and from there you get numbers (after someone figures out that we're using base 10 - not hard, giving our digits and how children are taught to count on their fingers), which will massively help with translating everything else. I'm not saying it's trivial - but I am saying it's eminently doable within a few years, at most, given similar cognitive ability (though, hey, they may be sapient space-mold that think really really slowly; it always depends).

@adonaiabaddon93

Жыл бұрын

​@@alganhar1 gotta agree with dark veghetta here, the amount of information we have sent into space isn't just text which is probably one of the biggest differences between us studying a dead language on earth and a advanced alien race studying us. we primarily deal with ancient manuscripts that we are lucky to find in their entirety meanwhile there's the aliens have entire shows which demonstrate exaggerated versions of our body language and social cues to work with. the could watch wordy shows like Gilmore girls which explains references they make in the show all the time and that would allow the aliens to understand syntax even better. add in all the PBS style shows geared towards educating kids like Mr Roger's and yes they would definitely be able to translate our languages very fast. I understand the examples I've presented are only for English but that's just one small corner of the type of information we have sent into the stars. and if they patch into our internet then all they have to do is translate one language and find translation guides online, heck they could even download Rosetta stone the program. if the have supercomputers capable of ftl travel calculations they could learn to communicate with us pretty easily

@jonisalmela2399

11 ай бұрын

I'll grant you everything except biology. Surely they would atleast be in range for the internet. And doesn't radio signals that go out to the space degrade over distance?

@DarkVeghetta

11 ай бұрын

​@@jonisalmela2399 Much like light, radio signals are both a wave and a particle and, as such, wave interactions, reflection/refraction, and particle drift will eventually cause the signal to degrade over large enough distances. Theoretically, by building a large enough telescope (even if it's planet-sized), any sufficiently advanced civilization should be able to catch at least some of our radio emissions, as long as they're not over the cosmological event horizon (estimated to be around 5 gigaparsecs / 16 billion ly, at present - note: this will get a lot smaller over time if the accelerating universe model holds true). Mind you, this is also the reason why we should keep building bigger and bigger telescopes if we're serious about finding advanced alien life - we might very well miss highly diffuse signals if the telescope's not sufficiently large to catch enough of the particles making up said signal.

Sub categories. They are important.

The foolishness of the Master Sargent, was surprising, giving up all that info. Then again, he is in the Chair Force, which is a corporation, rather then a military organization.

@rogerbeckner6419

23 күн бұрын

Ah yes,...... "The Chair Force". Hadn't heard that one in a while. Usually heard "Floppies" and "Bus Drivers" before. But then I was from an older time. A more brutal time. Our motto was: "Nuke em till they glow; then use their a$$e$ for runway lights". Strategic Air Command Whenever I was in the NCO club, and we had First Recon, Rangers, or Green Beanies in, I always bought them a round. Never knew when you might be swinging in a chute and wondering who was going to risk their lives to save your bacon. No better friends to have than "Uncle Sam's Misguided Children". Semper Fi

@kirkjones9639

23 күн бұрын

@@rogerbeckner6419 Chair Force was one of the kinder things we called them in Nam, in the late 60s.

so what we learn from this is that we should never let the US handle first contact

@henrypaleveda7760

2 жыл бұрын

at least not military personnel

@Hellsong89

11 ай бұрын

@@henrypaleveda7760 Nah, in general... but very least dont let marines, navy, army... or airforce handle first contact and what ever you do, dont let alphabets anywhere near the aliens...Those cunts will try to do something stupid guaranteed. Then again politicians, political ideologs or banksters are really bad idea as well...

@E-N-A-R-D-L-A-V

10 ай бұрын

I would say that the lesson to be learned here is as follows. Never kidnap a person, and threaten them with a blockade. Not a very good way to establish first contact, wouldn't you say? "Hey, I'm here. I'm just going to start taking your people until I get the information I want. And if I don't like that information, we're going to stop you from further technological progress and quarantine you." That is far more hostile than tossing out a few vulgarities.

Expletives yeah that sounds like humanity

Great choice of story as usual!

??? The pilot was taken out of the hello and it didn’t crash

That was good story sensible

keeper going

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Narrator, Agro Squirrel !

First soldier:" Acts fucking stupid" Second soldier :"acts even stupider"

@noppornwongrassamee8941

2 жыл бұрын

Uh, what's stupid about the second soldier? He's informing the alien exactly of what kind of mistake it's making and how its behavior would be interpreted by humanity at large. He probably did more to avert a bad first contact (like actual lethal violence) and keep things peaceful between humanity and aliens than anyone else in the story. Yes, he was hiding behind formality in order to keep his own nerves calm, but that's a hell of a lot better than the all out verbal aggression of the first soldier.

A very pleasant tale

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

glad you enjoyed

For the algorithm!

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

bob the dragon

@michaeldayman682

3 жыл бұрын

I swear I hear him say the name as "bother the dragon" - and every time I associate the name with "bad idea".

@bobsterclause342

3 жыл бұрын

Michael Dayman this comment is great.

UN in the northwest quadrant of the USA? Seems odd.

F.T.A.

@AgroSquerril

3 жыл бұрын

For the algorithm

F.A.S.

Hi day 28

51st, 22 October 2023