Oh the toxic positivity and being good at customer service! The ability to completely turn into an actor! Exactly!

I was raised by abusive and neglectful evangelical fundamentalist Christians. I've just now, at 45, come out as trans. Holy shit is gender euphoria amazing! I think it's what feeling "happy" is. Elly I'm so glad you're experiencing that too! I'm delighted for your journey and self discovery! Please keep up the good work. I appreciate this channel. Thank you.

Hey! You won't bring shame to your parents by revealing what they did to you. They brought shame to themselves by their chosen actions. Don't blame yourself for the consequences they must face for their actions. I know firsthand shame runs deep with victims of abuse but these are all things that were done to you and you didn't have a choice but to do what you could to survive.

Oh my god yes! I work as a pharmacy assistant and I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witnesses. I think it gives me alot of patience but it’s taken a while for me to stand up for myself with rude customers. The culture I was raised in was just to overlook people being rude to me, so I’m learning to defend myself ☺️

Omg, Ellie, when you started talking about talking to yourself, my immediate thought was, “Yeah, you’re reparenting yourself.“ And then that’s what you said. Haha. I do the exact same thing. I’m the oldest daughter from a fundie family of 12 kids. I see so much of myself in you and your channel. You make me feel not so alone. Thank you.

Dear Ellie, Last time I commented on one of your videos was when you commented on a very horrible time during your middle school years... I said that person who hurt was no Christian and not everyone of us was bad, but then I remembered most of us,suck. I'm terribly sorry for what I said. I love this channel.❤

I was in Customer Service for 6 years and grew up in a religious home. I felt like my feelings didn’t matter so it helped me put other people first. It burned me out though because I was on the phone all day every day with customers. Would not go back for all the money in the world. I love your videos, Elly! I feel like we would be friends in real life. Always rooting for you :)

@judyheller

2 ай бұрын

Customer service also involves saying no too, especially when the customer asks for something the business can’t provide.

So happy to see another video from you!! I wish vet med paid more. People in vet med are always the most kind, lovely people (like you!). It would be awesome to see a collab with you and Jen about Above Rubies!!

Hi Elly, fellow non-binary ex-vangelical/fundie kid here. I work in healthcare and find my upbringing to be incredibly helpful with the more difficult people-related aspects of my job. Specifically, I’m able to quickly de-escalate angry or frustrated patients or family members. I also find that most people respond really well to the positive, optimistic mask I’m able to summon at a moments notice. Lastly, im able to ignore my own needs for an unhealthy amount of time while attending to others (I am trying to limit this in my personal life, but boy does it come in handy at work sometimes, haha 😂). Thanks for sharing, I love your content!

That’s fascinating what you said about your dad being an enigma. I read “Why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft, which is a fantastic book about what goes through the minds of abusive men. It was fascinating to hear about how they have a skewed perception of reality and how it truly is our patriarchal society that creates their entitlement, as opposed to any underlying genetic comportment of being a man (though maybe there was a genetic component for your dad specifically). My jaw dropped when your sibling’s ex-boyfriend/platonic friend said your dad was the most evil man he had ever met. Like, he sounded that way, but at the same time, fundamentalism is filled with evil men like that. How bad must you be to be the most evil in a community filled with so much abuse?

@graceargo6015

Жыл бұрын

I second giving "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft a read. It completely clarified my father for me, too.

@saggguy7

Жыл бұрын

They don't have a sister! They have a nonbinary sibling :)

@bethanyestes5126

Жыл бұрын

Ohhhh. Now I have to read this.

@laurenconrad1799

Жыл бұрын

@@saggguy7whoops! You’re right. My bad. I corrected it. Thanks for pointing that out!

So comforting to hear that someone has such similar feelings about their gender as I do, ESPECIALLY the "Sir, uh, I mean ma'am" euphoria. Thank you endlessly for sharing, you bring me so much comfort and validation. ❤️

I have been watching your videos for a while now. I’m really sorry you went through such an oppressive upbringing. It’s amazing who you have become despite that. Thank you for your videos and for making the world a better place.

The entire q&a was amazing, but that last answer, man. CHILLS. You perfectly put into words my own feelings on my gender. I haven’t even gone so far as to prefer they/them pronouns, but that’s more so because I kind of bounce all around with whether I’m feeling masculine or feminine. Honestly, most of the time, I’d say I just feel both with varying percentages of how much I’m feeling one or the other. Like you said, the labels surrounding gender and the accompanying gender expectations kind of stress me out, so I just like to say I am who I am. It’s similar to how I ended up defining my sexuality - just this kind of like “eh, I like who I like.” But again, like you said, I 110% lift up and support people who express their gender and/or sexuality in different ways than me! We all have our own unique journeys. Excellent video, thanks as always for your thought-provoking responses!

Hi! I don’t really do customer service now. But I did all through college. I’m a therapist now. That being said, absolutely with you on the toxic positivity and customer service angle. To add to that, the training to be a “servant” and to provide worth in other people’s lives I think adds a bit of resilience as well. I always found that I handled some of the abuse by customers a bit better then my coworkers in the past. For better or for worse 🤷🏽‍♀️ Edit: I just got to the end of the video! Elly thank you so much for your kind words! Got me all misty eyed at work ❤ I wish you the same in your journey.

If you put out a book, I would want to be the first to read it! I have chaotically journaled my way out of homeschooling and being a fundie. I find healing sometimes in writing everything I think and feel as fast as I can, even to the point of ripping pages. It used to be I was so paranoid of sin that I thought using less than perfect handwriting was something to repent of. It makes me feel sad and strange to compare the perfect writing in my old Bible study journals with my current unreadable, illegible journals. There is a strong anti journaling attitude in fundamentalism; the only journal you can basically keep is a spiritual progress one. I am glad, however, that I opened up a place for my real self to be.

I absolutely agree that the evangelical/fundie toxic positivity lends itself well to customer service. In fact, it lends itself well to capitalism in general, which is interesting to think about given the way that christianity has historically been used to further capitalist/colonialist domination. I also agree that you more or less can't be a fundamentalist man without being abusive to some extent. It's literally your role within that framework to be controlling and dominating. I grew up with a fundie-gelical mother and a mainline protestant father, and my siblings and I talk often about how lucky we were to grow up with a father who, for all his flaws, had no interest whatsoever in dominating or controlling anyone. Because if he had wanted that, the ground would have been very fertile for him to do it. FWIW, I don't think most people who grew up in religious extremist homes can point to fundamentalism as the sole factor that messed up their lives. Happy, healthy, emotionally stable people rarely if ever seek out fundamentalism as a way of life. Many of our parents' flaws and unresolved traumas were magnified by fundamentalism, but those flaws and unresolved traumas are also usually what leads them to their religion in the first place. I don't say that to invalidate that your struggle is unique to you. I'm just saying that you're not alone in trying to make sense of painful experiences that have no satisfying explanation. It's hard, and I'm grateful that you shared a piece of that struggle with us.

Yep, wasn't as entrenched as you were but was raised southern baptist with many fundie teachings, I was already a shy introverted person, who was neurodivergent, but the church was good practice for learning to put on a mask, learning what people liked to hear. Everyone would perform really if you think about it. We all acted as people who had no problem being holy by the grace of God. Interacting with so many adults is what taught me the most, around my peers at school I mostly kept my thoughts to myself. Even now I still feel like a child, and I have to cater to the adults, be sweet and obey, and be a helpful and responsible child. It especially comes out when I am helping older people. I think that that's what it's about, the infantilization of women in fundamentalism. It's something that sets me apart from all my other more experienced coworkers. I always was curious as to how they could be so callous with people, I figured it was because they had done it for so long, but now with 5 years under my belt in food, retail, and grocery it still comes easy as pie. I don't want people to see me as weak or a pushover, but it comes so naturally to me, and I'm such a people pleaser it makes me distressed as soon as I feel myself not being as pleasant as I possibly can be. But it takes a lot out of me, and I naturally fawn at any confrontation and I don't want people to think I'm weak, idk what to do. But anyway yeah, you're definitely not alone in that. As I said, I think the answer lies in the infantilization in a fundamentalist patriarchal environment.

the gender discussion was SO relatable, and you are 100% not alone! i know that's hard to remember a lot of times, especially with gender queer identities and navigating those as they shift and as you learn how to define them if thats what you want to do (or how to not define them). but hopefully the good reminders keep coming from those of us who appreciate your perspective and relate to it deeply ❤️ loved that tik tok too! and hey if you do get the space and time and energy to get a book done, i'll be on that pre-order list asap 🥰 you constantly impress me with your grace and thoughtfulness, and i admire the heck outa you! hope you, your daughter, your siblings, and everyone around you is doing well!

Everything you say about the connection between customer service excellence and cult stuff is spot on!!!

Ellie, I’ve had a rough 24 hours. I fell over and hurt my knee last night. And this morning, my car was completely dead so I had to work from home while waiting for a jump start. I was watching your old videos (I love learning about your journey) while working. And when I saw this new video, I was ecstatic! Truly one of the best parts of an otherwise annoying day 😊

Exvangelical here, I was extremely good at retail despite being autistic. I think the ability to put on a happy mask as well as the desire to set a good example for those more of the world made me a very good salesperson. I can see that as a factor in why so many Christian women get into MLMs too, as well as the more structural factors like the appeal of working from home.

Loved the question about how much of trauma was due to fundie values vs. parents' potential mental illness! I think about this a LOT nowadays. I was raised conservative Christian/evangelical. I deconstructed and left the church 20 years ago, as the rest of my family became more entrenched, more conservative and more political. Within the past two years, as I've been in therapy and have become more serious about healing from my religious trauma and conservative upbringing, I've come to the realization that I'm neurodivergent (AuDHD, or autism and ADHD together). (Journaling was my therapy growing up, too, and I'm rediscovering its benefits now -- and also planning my own memoir, one I've wanted to write since an early age!) With a lot of reflection, I've been able to see this same neurodivergence in my late father and brother (who is now a music worship leader at an evangelical megachurch in Florida). It's allowed me to start to heal from my own internalized ableism and the trauma of my parents' conservative values and authoritarian parenting style. Wishing you continued discovery, growth and happiness.

@ecpetty

Жыл бұрын

Also, love from a fellow genderfluid person (she/they) wrestling with similar questions about gender!

I just left Mormonism and am figuring out my gender too, I feel almost exactly like you do, and I lean towards genderqueer. My only dysphoria is my chest and tge way it makes it hard for me to wear any kinds of clothes I like.

@ThePunkHobbit

Жыл бұрын

If you’re open to some advice, a really nice binder could alleviate some of the dysphoria and allow you to wear the clothes that fit your style better. If you go with that solution, please get a binder that is reputable and won’t hurt you like some diy methods can. Please ignore if this isn’t for you or you weren’t looking for advice and I hope your transition out of Mormonism and into a more authentic self goes smoothly and well! 💕

The lighting is great, you look really glowy! Stay strong and keep healing ❤

@aazhie

Жыл бұрын

Agree! The background looks very cozy and comfortable too :)

I would love to see a video about above rubies! My friends started joining when I was in middle school and asked me to join as well, but my parents were weary of it. Looking back I'm glad they didn't let me join! I still don't fully understand the ins and out of above rubies and what a perfect duo for you and Jen to make a video on that topic!

omg that clip by solaris at the end is GREAT!

What a wonderfully kind and caring person you have turned out to be.

@BigMamou367

Жыл бұрын

Yes she is very kind and very caring and a very sweet woman.

@Sprklngglassslipper

Жыл бұрын

@@BigMamou367 person, Ellie very clearly stated that they identify as a person.

Total connection with customer service. For me, it’s the endless compulsion to solve problems so people will find me valuable. My company just went through a reorganization and my position was eliminated and I’ve been dealing with feelings of emptiness and doubt.

I have so much respect and appreciation for you. Thank you so much for your channel and everything you've shared.

I'm so happy thst you're doing well! You deserve all the good things. Thank you for all of your videos and for the safe space that you have cultivated with your channel. I hope you find something that works well for you jobwise.

so glad to see you again, Elly!!

I love every video you post! ❤the work you put into reflecting, growing, healing, and sharing your journey truly inspires me.

Thank you, Ellie, for your thoughtful and honest answers. Thank you for being brave and sharing your journey with us

Yes! I grew up essential IBLP (a little people-pleasing robot) and never made the connection! But totally - I worked in direct customer service for many years and it was like I had been - as you say - primed! Faking smiles and being a doormat. Dang. I love your videos and all you do. ❤

Elly, I freakin adore you. It made me so happy to hear you say you feel like you’re healing. I’m so grateful that you share your journey and hope you continue to do so in a way that’s helpful and never taxing to you. And I’m hoping fellow Jennonites rise up and get you to Reverend Fridays for a collab!! I would lose my shit. All the best, and happy pride! 💜🤍💚🏳️‍🌈💗💜💙

@ThePunkHobbit

Жыл бұрын

I would LOVE a collab between them. It would be so fascinating.

re: job stuff - idk where you live, but consider looking into local/city government jobs. They usually have great benefits, and your customer service skills could be awesome in a place like a local library!

I would definitely read your memoir

You are absolutely amazing and so strong to come forward and talk about these things we were taught to NEVER speak about. What happens in the home stays in the family

omg I would die for an Above Rubies collab between you & Jen…I have literally never heard anyone else talk about it!!

Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences, and thank you for your kind words ❤

I just wanted to express my sincere interest in your memior, and I hope you're able to continue working on it ❤ Sending you lots of love as you continue moving through this new phase of life. You're really inspiring, and genuine. Thank you for sharing with us what you do ❤

Those are the exact 2 shows I’ve been watching (and loving) lately too!

If you haven't applied for a new job yet, try looking for legal assistant jobs in big law firms. They pay well and there's allegedly a shortage according to my bosses, so maybe your receptionist experience would be enough to get into an entry level position depending on how big this shortage is.

I would love to see a collab video with Fundie Fridays. Don’t know much about the Above Rubies ministry and would love to hear your experience with it.

I love this!! Also your story about the Sir/Ma'am confusion at work was so cute ... That person was probably really embarrassed at not knowing and maybe getting it wrong, and here you are on the other end going "wow, that made my whole day!" 🤣 Sending you so much love as always! 💕

I love you and all that you do sir/ma'am ☺️ our childhoods are eerily similar and I've found a lot of comradery watching your videos. I'm so proud of you for being who you are and telling your story 💙

Thank you so much for sharing. i always enjoy your videos

Love this and all of your videos! Thank you for sharing! If you live in or near a town with a veterinary college, working at the vet clinic on campus might be a good option. All the staff a considered school staff so you'd get better benefits. My friend's mom does this and she loves it!

Elly, thank you for sharing your journey with us 💜 i'm rooting for you!!! i'm on my own little exploration mission. it took me years to figure out i'm enby and ace, now that i'm dealing with disability it's hard to accept me as i am. sigh. i live for those little moments when that one puzzle piece fits just right 😔

Yes getting an enby therapist for enby people is soooo helpful! Keep on keepin on you rock!

I didn't grow up fundamentalist, but now that you mention it, growing up with a possibly narcissistic mother might be part of why I'm such a people pleaser and so good at customer service. I actually like customer service and maybe it's because i know exactly what to do.

I understand the toxic positivity 🌞 I was so awesome at customer service, because I was brainwashed with the idea that everyone was more important than me. I'm not like that now. I don't give a fuck lol 😁

Happy pride Ellie!

Happy Pride Month Ellie!

Yes! There’s definitely a “connection there.”

I've never been so proud of a stranger as I am of your growth ;-; Abbot Elementary is so good! We watch it with my mother in law who's been a schoolteacher. She informed us it's very accurate.

Thank you for talking about the inherent abuse in the structure of a fundy marriage. I fully agree with this take, but it's really hard to talk about.

My partner was a Vet Tech for 15 years. He topped out on pay and needed more pay as well. He went back to school to get his PhD to research science. He really wanted to stay in the Vet world but the pay just wasn't there. Many of the corporate clinics have bought out the small town vets and it's hard to compete.

Had to comment just to say you are such a wonderful person. And also I am HERE for an Above Rubies Fundie Fridays collab.

❤ Thank you for sharing!

Have you watched Heartstopper? I feel like you would really enjoy it. Love your videos, btw.

@InThisEssayIWill...

Жыл бұрын

Yeees! Watch it!! It's only 8 episodes would love a watch along/reaction 👀

@msk5789

Жыл бұрын

That’s what I was thinking too! It’s such a sweet love story.

I had to laugh (in a good way!) when you told the story of a client calling you "sir" and then "ma'am." About 4 months before I started transition (before I even started seriously questioning my gender identity), I went out to dinner alone. Since I had a book with me and was reading it when the server came up, he originally said "can I take your order, sir?" Then I raised my head to order and he quickly corrected himself to "ma'am." I just got a happy feeling when he called me "sir" and felt an emotional crash when he corrected himself. Guess that should have been a clue, but this was almost 20 years ago, before trans people were as openly discussed as they are today.

@15:50 I feel you on the toxic positivity. Used to work in summer camp, which required always having to put on a happy face.

@lkqgirl3121

Жыл бұрын

Wholehearted agreement from a young introvert who has just started summer camp work.

I would also love to see a collab with genetically modified skeptic/the antibot and belief it or not. Additionally i think it would be cool to have a collab with Mickey Atkins channel talking about the way fundamentalism opens the door for abusive behavior. She used to do a fundie Fridays series and has had jen on before

@stilted

Жыл бұрын

I love the measured approach of GMS/ the Antibot. And I love Belief it or Not video essays especially... and now that you bring them up, I'm like - has Belief ever done a collab? Well, there's a first time for everything 😉🤞 Edit: typo

Ellie, you should add MUNA, Betty Who, and Tame Impala to your repertoire. I find their music very healing

Also, in the vein of gender, Agender here. The way you are talking about it here feels very familiar. I have recently realized that when I am having an engaging and fulfilling conversation with a person, I stop seeing them in terms of their gender. I instinctively just edit gender out of my perception of the world whenever I can.

I didn't grow up a fundie but my homelife was super toxic. I was forced to be happy no matter what I was Force do whatever anyone wanted me to because I was seen like dirt. But I'm a damn good sales associate. I worked at a place that wanted you to upsell without getting commission and I was one of the best after a few weeks.

I love your new profile picture Elly!!!

I really want to see your playlist!

my mom would also talk to me often about her childhood trauma, from as early as age 4 or 5 she would tell me about how people would bully her, how she had no friends, how she just never feels truly happy? looking back i really wish she had talked about this to a therapist instead of a child under the age of 10, i don't think it was healthy for either of us... so many things i never realized weren't normal, weren't okay, were abusive... even if it wasn't intended.

12:18 yeeees, collaborate with Jen!!

Oh I hope you do! I worked for above rubies for a few months when I was 18

Highly recommend doing dog walking on the side or similar. Great side income to help you get ahead, and a huge help to people who have full time jobs or no longer able physically to walk their dog. You could maybe look at advertising at your current job while there. Hopefully get a reasonable customer base b4 leaving. And you get to be round dogs 😊❤️

OMG YES 🤚 I’m also good at customer service and I think I was primed for it by the same means I was primed to end up in an abusive relationship. 100% related to my upbringing.

I wish you so much love and healing!!❤ Hugs from this genderfluid adhder 🌈💖🌻

It's is unfortunate that the veterinary career track doesn't pay as well as it should. A lot of people stick with it as a labor of love because these animals really grab at the heartstrings. But there a some animal specific jobs out there like training or grooming that can be quite lucrative over time.

I was raised evangelical, and I always HATED the toxic positivity and refused to adopt the mindset. Being the complete opposite of that actually made me HORRIBLE at customer service jobs, and I’ve had to learn to be more positive without being toxic about it as an adult.

I really wanna start making my own videos to help with my deconstruction but I'm struggling with where to start. I dunno if you have any advice on that, but even if you don't, watching your vids is helping me out a ton. There's so much I don't know how to say and feel like I need PERMISSION to say so it's nice to see you talking about similar subjects to what I want to talk about.

Commenting again to share a quote I love. I'm also afab and non-binary/genderfluid (didn't deal with it directly until my 40's!) and I often struggle with that weight you discussed, where "non-binary" seems to be about performing a gender for others again. Someone put it thusly: "My pronouns are 'I' and 'me'. Everything else is a you problem." Loved the tiktok at the end, btw.

Omg ide love to see you and Rev Jen do a colab she's awesome it's my dream to meet her n James the content they make have made us feel so not alone in the world even though our family's won't have anything to do with us any more bc of the cult .

Oh there is absolutely a link to toxic positivity and customer service skills lol my first two jobs were in customer service, and I was so good that I tricked my employers into believing my night owl ass was a morning person 🙃 Irate customer? Able to roll with it. Inappropriate caller? Slides right off my back. General chaos? No problem to keep on smiling. I'm grateful not to be in that industry anymore. Also, the way you described your gender journey made me imagine a waiter offering you a platter of pronouns and terminology, and you politely saying, "No thanks, I'm good." Love that energy lol

Love Abbott! My wife is a teacher and she adores it.

What you said about your family being abusive regardless of religion really hit me hard because its the opposite with my parents. Honestly if they weren't involved in religion they would have been good parents. It's so weird how such a small thing like my sexuality or gender could totally change the way they feel about me. If it weren't for religion causing those bigoted beliefs they could really love me how parents are supposed to. Idk where I'm going with this it's just something I've been thinking about...

Or dog washing service? Or walk their dog, wash em and drop them off 😍. So many options, might even be able to make it full time in the future. N working from home you pick your hours, and tax right offs etc. Your a smart, organised, driven and caring person. I could see you doing amazing things 😊❤️❤️❤️

I get you in how you just wanted to be as one with your peers instead of "boys" and "girls" having to approach each other differently.

Yes! Before I became a behavior therapist, I did customer service for a year and a half. Being raised by conservative southern evangelicals was perfect practice for that god-awful job. 😂

@16:18 YES we need a study lol

Thanks for your wonderful Q&A. I am so glad you are drawing strength from just being with your local Queer Community. As I am sure you know I am a Christian here in the UK & our Methodist Church is totally LBGTQI + affirming. In fact we married our first Lesbian couple only last year. Our Minster is a Lesbian and I love meeting with everybody. No worries I talk to myself loads. Always have done as far back as I can remember. It’s an internal voice. It still keeps beating me up but I’m starting to understand that I can change the voice. I’m sure fundamentalist Christianity makes some people mentally ill. I too am still reparenting that inner child.. It’s Pride month in the UK & I notice it’s a time when the Gay community get a load more stick from those calling themselves Christians In particular our State Church (well the One that King Charles is meant to be head of) called the Anglican Church (also the Church of England) have voted to allow blessing of same sex Unions in the Church but they will not legally marry same sex couples. This has made one Vicar who plans to leave the Anglican Church very angry. Here he comes out against Gay Pride and shows outrage that in the USA TARGET 🎯 were selling Pride themed stuff including Children’s clothing. People like him are always trying to stir it up against the LBGT+ community. I have a wonderful Trans friend at Church and it seriously worries me that as a Trans person they run the risk of being physically attacked on our streets. Our country has drifted so far to the political right I fear for many of my friends. I should add that my late Mother was an alcoholic. She finally quit after my Dad died and it was like I could finally know and love the wonderful person she was inside. I would say mental health issue I had in my life certainly can be traced back to my childhood. I’ve done loads of work on my Childhood with various therapists and I still work on re-parenting that inner child. I would say my first Wife (mother of our two grown up Sons) had unresolved mental health issues that may be traced back into her own childhood. She divorced me after 18 years married. (I would especially agree with that Christian fundamentalism is ‘set up to be abusive.’ I say that especially after reading Jesus & John Wayne but even with the few Christian fundamentalists I have encountered they could be seen as overbearing, opinionated, constantly seeking power and control and needing black or white in everything in their lives. These people seem to be totally unable to see colour in life and acknowledge & celebrate diversity. That’s so especially true when they can not tolerate a model in which sexuality and sexual is not totally binary. With them it’s strictly in or out. They witter on about a terrible it is to be ‘lukewarm’ rather than totally on fire for Jesus. To them everything in life is like a two position switch. It’s either on or off. To them there is no subtly to being alive or relationships or anything like that….They don’t have a range of tools 🛠 but just a Hammer and then every problem becomes a nail. My video links here kzread.info/dash/bejne/nmaKt6xwmrGrk6Q.html First of all apologies for sound quality here but I made the video because KZread seems suddenly to be alive with bigoted Christians proclaiming that ‘homosexuality is a sin’ (the two on the Thumb Nail are pretty loopy US Christian fundamentalists) However we have a UK Anglican Vicar (Brett Murphy) (and fundamentalist Bible Believing Christian) who got his Wife to list all Pride events taking place on Anglican Church premises and used that opportunity to say now that the Anglican Church has even agreed to bless same sex marriages it’s preaching Hersey & not the true Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. I think this Anglican Vicar calls Himself ‘Brett’ & he is suggesting that the Anglican Church is now falling away from the teachings of Jesus & what it says in the perfect, without error Bible or the very words of God themselves. This Vicar also mentions Target Stores in the USA selling Pride Themed clothing and children’s clothing. He clearly will not accept Gay people in his Church and even if they attended he would feel it was his Christian duty to call them out on their sinful life style choice. These people are all interpreting the 2000 year old texts in the Bible to say that just being Gay is a sin. They are reading this into these texts and taking them out of time, history, culture and context to suggest just being who you are is a wilful sin.

@1daddyDA

Жыл бұрын

You know Gender is something that has fascinated me from as far back as I can recall even having the language to think about it rather than just experience it, feel it if you like. It’s kind of like sexuality and why on earth would I ever have been just Straight or Gay? Logically speaking sexuality to me ha# always been part of a continuum. It’s odd to say this but it’s never just been defined by my genitalia. It’s something much deeper that those ‘physical sex characteristics.’ It’s much more than even physical or sexual attraction. I very much feel like you in that primarily I’m just human. I’m a person (well I believe a soul if you like) but that’s ‘me’ & it’s not limited by the fact that I have testicles, a penis and have ‘fathered’ two grown up Sons. Sometimes you are perfectly right I can even consider myself to be ‘a-sexual’ or like I say just Human, just flesh and blood, just heart beat, sensuous being and continuous wonder experiences.

My parents thankfully are mostly good parents, my mom is also the stronger Christian. She seems to have some trauma issues from her childhood that make her hold on so much harder to her faith. I don't think anyone could ever convince her to give it up.

Also I have found some healing in the show Moral Orel. It is a very sad show, but the ending gave me hope. More hope than a lot of other shows or movies have ever given me. If you find the first season cringe worthy don't worry. It gets so much better, especially by the third season.

Elly: especially after I've started to talk more about my gender and my gender journey in KZread, I have been, you know, getting a healthy - Me: 😊 Elly: - dose of hate comments. Me: 😬 Well, glad to hear your new therapist seems like a match, at least! And I would love to see you and The Reverend talk about Above Rubies.

I feel the same way! I'm nonbinary but still present very feminine and have no body dysphoria! I struggle with not feeling nonbinary enough!

I LOVE JESSIE REYEZ TOO!

What do you do about the trauma responses that come up when writing a memoir? I’ve been writing one and had to take a break this week due to bad dissociation last week.

I was a fundementalist and I'm a nurse now, which occasionally feels like glorified customer service lol. I was a carhop at Sonic for a couple years and I was great at customer service. I made those tips lol. I was and am pretty good at customer service. Also, from one parentified adult to another, I would 100% recommend the movie Encanto if you haven't seen it and the song 'Surface Pressure.' That song truly sees me. I am sorry that people leave hateful comments as a last note. I wish that people would just be kind.

Song recommendations for your ‘F*** Purity Culture’ playlist: Girls in Bikinis- Poppy Can’t Hold us Down- Christina Aguilera Strut- Emeline Free Your Mind- En Vogue Human Nature- Madonna Ripe- Flavia Hump Day- Miss Eaves Androgyny- Garbage I’m sure I can think of a million more, but won’t overwhelm you. I love the idea of this theme. Happy listening!

@sarahkorba4697

Жыл бұрын

Just a Girl- No Doubt

just to echo what I think I understand from other things you & other queer people have said : You do not "need" dysphoria to be trans. Your journey is yours & you are enough always. Also, an existing title alternative is Mx. pronounced "mix" if thats helpful

Oh yeah, got an award for patient focus at a job I only worked a year and another award for best trainer at another job. That toxic positivity is soooo great for everyone else and SO BAD for me. I burned out on both jobs.

I think you would really like Mothica, Tillie, and Scene Queen for music! As a fellow ex-fundie, I LOVE THEM. Lots of Pro Woman, and Tillie does some good anti-fundie songs.

@StitchingMothVibes

Жыл бұрын

I say, as someone with similar music taste!

Ooh my god that tiktok resonated with me so much. Complicating factor for me is living in Germany and speaking German minimum 40 hours a week… a) there is no they/them equivalent in German, and b) I don’t have the same emotional baggage tied up with sie/Ihr As with she/her so I’m not going out of my way to give out my pronouns anymore