My mother kicked me out at 14. Until 17 i couch surfed and had a bridge on 95 i found a bit of warmth under with newspaper insulation and layers. This was 20ish years ago. I cant imagine having to do this in these times. Im so sorry, and hope things pick up sooner than not.

@Frogman1212

5 ай бұрын

If you get kicked out at 14,can't you get government money or go to an orphanage or whatever?

@Phil.Anthropy

5 ай бұрын

@@Frogman1212 sure if you want to go through all the red tape in the mid-2000s. Especially when you come from a town of only 5000 people you might as well just learn how to survive through friends and acquaintances

@Ron1n_Sim

5 ай бұрын

@@Phil.Anthropy Ain't it illegal to even kick out a minor still under parental jurisdiction by their parents? The hell? Is there something more about your story that you're aren't saying, hope you are okay!

@Phil.Anthropy

5 ай бұрын

@@Ron1n_Sim yeah, it's called child neglect and endangerment. When your mom is on meth, her boyfriends/John's are too important and you won't try to find which meth-laced trailer park she was sleeping in to serve her papers or even spit on her, it's best to just move on. I'm now 36 married and 3 beautiful children. Life turns around if you make it. Trust me, even with the verbal vomit I just gave you, there is always more to the story. Be well, and bless your concern.

@TwilightVaramek

5 ай бұрын

@@Frogman1212 what country this isent legal in the US until age 18 and you have toi also give a 30 dayt notice like an apartment eviction

I ain't even got a cool bug fact for this one, I hope you're alright

@bbittercoffee

6 ай бұрын

Here's one! For reasons of being poisonous to frogs, the fireflies that were meant to be added to the game, weren't! Fun!

@syllvanis_

6 ай бұрын

@@bbittercoffee Because for some reason, in a game with dragons, zombies, exploding leaves, and a lack of major block gravity, we draw the line at the possibility of someone ending up feeding fireflies to frogs because of something they saw in MINECRAFT.

@bbittercoffee

6 ай бұрын

@@syllvanis_ god I am so afraid of the ocean, what if I come upon an ocean monument?! I'll feel sluggish and the guardians are all gonna swarm around me quickly draining my life! And oh man, I can't believe stone doesn't float on water! Or most things, really!

@syllvanis_

6 ай бұрын

@@bbittercoffee I can't go out on a walk at night, what if there are zombies? They'll eat me alive!

@zaidlacksalastname4905

3 ай бұрын

You're still cool though

God I'm so sorry about the audio issue near 22:00, I was dealing with copyright stuff for like 3 days surrounding that song, and I did the final edit like 5 minutes before Thanksgiving dinner when the video was already a couple days late. I'll try and fix it with KZread editing, but I don't know if I'll be able to. Thanks for all the kind words though ❤️ In the meantime, here's a transcript of that section: You know, analyzing poems, like the one at the end of Minecraft, really doesn’t lend itself to video essays very well. I could assume that you all have this poem memorized, and just jump around to the parts that feel most important, skipping over lots of context that a less familiar viewer wouldn’t be aware of, or I could go line by line, explaining everything, essentially just rewriting the poem in a more boring, less thought-provoking way. Dumbing it down. Instead, I’m just going to sum things up. These words were written about the game that *I* remember playing back when I was younger. Like squids, charcoal, or a carrot on a stick, this poem feels more like a relic of the past than something that really has much relevance or bearing towards Minecraft *as it is today*. Basically, the idea of the poem is that we all shape our own experiences in life. We choose to partake in certain perspectives, activities, experiences, and each of these things serve as ways of filtering the truth of reality into something more palatable for us. That *truth of reality* would be that we’re all one. All the atoms in you, and all the atoms in every star are all cousins. Essentially, we are all one consciousness experiencing itself from an infinite number of subjective perspectives. So uh…. What’s that got to do with Minecraft? Well, a lot actually. Minecraft, likewise, is a single *game* experiencing itself subjectively from… lets see here… 200 million different perspectives, (jesus) and those perspectives, *us*, *minecraft players*, *individually*, well, we’re all a part of Minecraft too. Our experiences shape how other people see the game, our mods shape the game much more literally, and our feedback is integrated into the game time and time again. Minecraft is less a game, and more an infinite series of memories that a community of a couple hundred million has built up. Minecraft wouldn’t exist without us. Without a playerbase, Minecraft would just be the code for an *unrecognizably* simple game, sitting on Notch’s computer, slowly deprecating. The big idea that sticks out to me here is… actually kind of… depressing for me. Minecraft has become a game that I can hardly recognize anymore. When I play it, it no longer feels like a world that was made just for me. It just doesn’t fulfill that particular fantasy anymore. It doesn’t *feel* like escapism to me anymore. I know that my perspective, all of the mechanics and concepts that I value about Minecraft, are still a part of the game. *I’m still a part of this universe*, to speak in the poem’s terms, but like this poem, *my* perspective on Minecraft has become a *much* smaller part of the game than it used to be. Nowadays, a new generation’s perspective on this game has become the driving force behind the game’s direction. Minecraft is a universe that I’m a part of, sure, but it’s a universe that’s kind of moved on from me. In real life, I’m just 25 years old. In Minecraft, I’m ancient- nothing but a holdover from a previous generation.

@Rexxie44

6 ай бұрын

Do you plan to fix the issue? I'd love to hear what you had to say, better

@Leadhead

6 ай бұрын

​@@Rexxie44I'm gonna see what I can do to fix the audio without having to reupload the video. This one's doing better than anything I've uploaded in months and it'd just be dead in the water if I had to do that. Worst case, I think I can just add text on screen... That's one of the most important parts of the video, so if it comes down to it I'll re-upload it, I just really don't want to do that

@Rexxie44

6 ай бұрын

@@Leadhead Yeah, I sympathize there. My suggestion in advent you can't fix the audio, is adding the text to the screen if possible. That or adding it to the description, at the very least. I'm not too familiar with how much you can edit a already posted video, but I wish you luck there!

@munchkin_mania

6 ай бұрын

you should pin this comment so people will see it more hope you can find another place btw

@reddonut1518

6 ай бұрын

@@Leadheadunfortunately, I found that part of the video overwhelming because of said mixing issues and had to skip it, so any way of resolving that would be much appreciated. Absolutely no hate to you though, this video is still beautiful in so many ways. I sincerely hope you can find a safe and stable living space for you and your girlfriend, despite the greedy landlords and bigots trying to get you down. Stay strong!

all my homies hate landlords

@Kavukamari

6 ай бұрын

all my homies think landlords should go hug a creeper

@elijahbaley5556

6 ай бұрын

Based

@Lily.Johnson

5 ай бұрын

that is very big epic opinion

@Mingodough

5 ай бұрын

Nah landlords are based

@elijahbaley5556

5 ай бұрын

@@Mingodough 🤓

Jesus! Are you alright??

@A_Black_hoodie

6 ай бұрын

Why is there over 200 likes and no comments

@4milk4life33

6 ай бұрын

No, Jesus died like 2,000 years ago. Get with the times

@VoiceOfTheEmperor

6 ай бұрын

@@4milk4life33 I see what you did there.

@pracantbruh

6 ай бұрын

​@@4milk4life33plot twist - he never died

@dualitysystem8430

6 ай бұрын

No one is...

I found myself feeling the same way about Minecraft. Every time I played it, I never engage with any mechanic released after 2015. I played for the same reason you did; just building a small home and puttering about on a farm. I’m really sorry to hear about the apartment, I hope you find a place soon! Keep up the good work Also, was the music meant to be that loud around 23:00?

@Cobalt985

6 ай бұрын

You ever heard of Better than Adventure? It's pretty cool, it's meant to be basically an alternate universe Minecraft where the Adventure update never happened and Minecraft continued in the style of Beta 1.7.3. I really like it, and of course a big reason is for nostalgia reasons, but also it brings back the simplicity of the "old days" of Minecraft. Minecraft Alpha represents my childhood to me.

@Loromir17

6 ай бұрын

@@Cobalt985 ReIndev is also neat as it introduces a few modern mechanics in a more natural, old-style way: like enchantments being just unique traits of various tool materials (golden pickaxe has silk touch etc.); or alchemy being done by hand (you throw ingredients into a pot) rather than through a menu with cooldowns.

@colbyboucher6391

6 ай бұрын

To add to the pile I think the recently created Musketeer: One for All modpack (a horrible name) is the smartest of these "let's fix Minecraft" things. It's described as a "vanilla minus" pack. It's main goal really is to emphasize the importance and usefulness of basic stuff that other mechanics just blew right past. It even totally chucks extra dimensions- no Nether highway for you, build rail networks please god (iron farms are gone but there's new less stupid ways of getting lots of iron, and minecarts in general got massive buffs) No coordinates in F3, that's what compasses and maps are for (maps get a buff and are easier to craft) No Mending, but tools are much more durable, don't disappear when they break and anvils don't suck Totally rebalanced enchanting And of course since it's on a modern version of the game, you're still getting stuff like awesome oceans and the Caves & Cliffs terrain / world height

@Styx.Or.Whatever

6 ай бұрын

whatup checkmark

"but what I found is that I'm the only one who doesn't care about those things these days" This sentiment reminds me of the Folding Ideas video "Why It's Rude to Suck at Warcraft". It seems like with pretty much every multiplayer game if it's not an explicitly casual/RP server someone will start metagaming and then everyone else feels obligated to "catch up".

@mow_cat

6 ай бұрын

the only way to prevent metagaming is to curbstomp its effectiveness at a game-design level. this is a failure of the game designer(s) and should be pointed out until it is fixed

@rustkitty

6 ай бұрын

​@@mow_cat If a game has any interactive mechanics that can be expressed with numbers people will find a way to pool outside knowledge and develop optimal strategies and "correct" ways to play the game. This is an unavoidable result of having a game design at all. (of course PvP game balance issues should be fixed asap but those aren't the only source of metagaming strategies) Also it's not even something to prevent if the participants consent to it. For example speedrunning is a specialized form of metagaming. It's only a problem when it's specifically against the server/community rules. In other words undesired metagaming isn't a technological problem but a sociological one. So you can't fix it by technological means like tweaking the mechanics, only through peer pressure and strict moderation.

@mow_cat

6 ай бұрын

​@@rustkittyit's an arms race between devs and players it will always be that way for every game. Ideally you find and fix these kinds of issues in testing, otherwise during live service updates. the issue is that Mojang is afraid to patch any unintended features. so the players get more and more advanced over time and develop more and more unintuitive yet correct ways to do things while Mojang does nothing

@lithuaniaball

6 ай бұрын

​@@mow_catwhat part of impossible escapes you? Meta gaming is the simple act of realizing that you are playing a game and there is an ideal way to do it. For you to get rid of meta gaming, you would need to design a game that has no rules. I don't mean like gta v free roam no rules, i mean you press space bar and the game starts mining bitcoin, starts a war in Liberia, and solved world hunger no rules. As long as a game has a goal, and that goal can be achieved in different methods, there's going to be a right way and a wrong way to do it. The only bandaid fix is to wipe everyone's progress every season and tweak the values so there is a new meta game to play.

@mow_cat

6 ай бұрын

@@lithuaniaball I'm not saying that you can stop metagaming for good, you're missing the point pretty badly. I'm saying if you TRY, then your game will be less of a mess. where iron is worth more to the average player than diamond, where human abuse is how you get good enchants, where people farm exp because it's so annoying to get normally and the whole system needs a rework. Mojang is literally just letting their game fall to pieces. why shouldn't they do something to stop/slow that? you can't control what players choose to do, therefore they will always try to metagame. you CAN, however, control what choices are available to them. so when they start doing something that shouldn't be part of the game, common sense says to remove it. you CAN do that and your game will be better off for it. no reason NOT to improve the game based on play testing and feedback. in many cases the metagaming is only happening because certain systems (exp for example) are inherently unsatisfying to deal with in their intended manner. in which case the metagaming is a sideeffect of the game design and the cause should be fixed

Im sorry too hear you lost your home.. i really hope you find a new stable home :( please stay safe

This video is filled with so much sadness and melancholy. I genuinely hope you can find a new and safe home to live in soon, i'm sorry all of this has happened

I think there's an audio issue around 21:50. The montage music gets really loud for a bit and drowns out your poem discussion. Regardless, Incredible video. We're about the same age and I felt a lot of my own feelings around life and memories of Minecraft echoed here. I feel seen.

@Dr.Mrs.Pancakes

6 ай бұрын

Audio issue ends at 25:00

@tsrenis

6 ай бұрын

yeh, similar but much more minor around 31:45 you can hear a really bassy humming noise

@martin-vv9lf

6 ай бұрын

there's a bad hum at 32:00 too. not a big deal since there's no dialogue there.

@itsd3br33

6 ай бұрын

Noticed this too

@DanielLarsonTheBlackDragon

6 ай бұрын

No. If you payed attention you would know he did that intentionally

i'm in a similar situation, and i'm really sorry you have to go through this. frankly, i'm so tired of being judged by the older generations who literally burned the world to give themselves the last comfortable, secure life any humans not born into wealth (or willing to scam others of theirs) is ever going to have, after which they locked the doors, dismantled all the checks and balances that afforded them that safety, pulled the ladder up after themselves, and then promptly handed it all to the rich for safekeeping. and we get to live in the ashes, while they question why we haven't pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps yet, unable to comprehend that the world they achieved their successes in no longer exists, all because they freely gave away their rights and power (and ours) to corporations and government. job security? home security? retirement? dreams of a bygone era. now, home is only home until some random sociopath decides they can get a better deal for it, and an entire generation freefalls down Maslow's hierarchy.

@danka1167

6 ай бұрын

This is one of the corniest messages of all time. You and only yourself are responsible for your success. You are literally living in the greatest time period humanity has ever been in. Its so easy nowadays to find resources to work and study. The only people who say what you do are those who don’t even try. They coasted by in school, satisified with B’s and C’s then don’t even attempt to go to a great uni.

@pimpcatforthelols

6 ай бұрын

Housing is an investment, not a right. Affordable housing is built much less now since before the mass neoliberal movement of Reagan and thatcher. Land lords or worse the LLCs which oversee the land lord's property literally collect together to price fix and would rather leave a house an apartment block empty then have tenants pay less. Safety nets are taken down, average wages are stagnant and many people cannot pay rent on their earnings. Many good low skill jobs such as factory work was shipped overseas which is why the rust belt is so bad. The US especially, is a car centric nation with its public transport in tatters of what it once was and a car is a massive investment of time and money both initially and in maintenance. University isn't free and there are many people who cannot afford to both live (rent, food, fuel, etc.) And both have time and money to go. That's especially if, as you say, they got an average or above average mark in school and need to take highschool level entry programs to even get in because of a mistake... or bad living conditions... bad teaching district or whatever else they had when they were but a teenager.

@llynxfyremusic

6 ай бұрын

​@danka1167 you're posting this under a video made by someone who was successful working for themselves, who almost ended up on the streets by forces of greed out of her control. Have some awareness dude.

@itcouldbelupus2842

6 ай бұрын

​@@danka1167this is complete BS from some privileged twar completely out of touch with the reality we live in

@whoisanarnb

6 ай бұрын

I still have hope..

My friend just gifted me Minecraft the other day. I'm playing it for the first time at the age of 34. I love it. It definitely scratches the same itch as the city builders of old and games like Factorio. I'm having a great time. Note: that to play on the server with my friends it is modded to all hell and back though.

@xSUPERSONIC0

5 ай бұрын

What's neat about Factorio is that if I remember right, it was actually inspired by a couple Minecraft mods like BuildCraft and IndustrialCraft.

@Jasmine69420

4 ай бұрын

@@xSUPERSONIC0 I actually developed Factorio because I would like future generations to posses the skills to work in a factory owned by me. (lie.)

I think the headcannon that the end is all the abandoned minecraft worlds of all the kids that stopped playing is infinitely more beautiful and meaningful than anything they've added to the game since.

I also heavily dislike losing all my progress because I didn't see a single hole in the ground that went from my y:60 plains biome home to -30 middle of a mob infested cave Which is why I've enabled keepInventory, I like to be able to not have a care in the world sometimes while also having to be careful because getting BACK where I am would be extremely difficult (especially with my bad memory) I appreciate the core adventure that the game sets out but I also like to have my own, with different paths to follow but also different kinds of restrictions, it's especially bad on bedrock since I can't really change things up with mods (unless I pay a good sum of money for my country for community made mods which rarely have what I want), so I just use commands and made-up rules It's never been so fun to play, even when I spawn in the worst spot I've ever spawned (seriously, rock beaches+huge spruce trees biome???? What the hell! It looks like a prehistoric wasteland! And I'm completely surrounded by oceans too like, there's nowhere to go!) I can feel pretty good because with some enchantments and compromises I can make things a little bit better for myself

really good video, as always! i lost an apartment this year too. i had moved into a new apartment, and was there for just around 2 weeks. my girlfriend and i were beginning to hang up our decorations, set up our PCs and our desks the same day an apartment fire started on the floor above us and resulted in destroying the entire building. all my girlfriend and i got out with was our my wallets, our meds, and our keys, including my lanyard that held a key to that apartment. that building is gone, the rubble of which has already been dealt with. we have a stable place to live now, as we are staying in an apartment room with our newer partner, but that loss of home still weighs heavy. i wish you the best of luck with getting into an apartment of your own.

I wish you ALL, the luck for a new Apartment. I am without one since mid February...

@elijahbaley5556

6 ай бұрын

Good luck.

Hey Leadhead. I just wanted to say, your deeply personal, introspective videos really helped me do a lot of soul searching that lead to me going to rehab and starting to turn my life around. I'm cis but your videos on your experience with being trans helped me find a sense of hope that things can get better, that I can change my situation into somthing that works for me that's, thats gotten me through a lot of early recovery. I'm currently 70 days sober and just wanted to say thank you. You have a far deeper, more positive impact on many people than you realize. I hope you find new housing soon. Stay safe ❤

Aside: Consider keeping one eye open on what happens with your former space, in case the next occupant rents it for less than what the landlord proposed to you. Glad you had a safety net. All the best!

It seems Minecraft was your transitional object, something that is there with you through various stages of life. For me, it was a Casio F91W watch as I moved from country to country as a child. Thank you for this wonderfully written introspective essay.

@jonasbobbykins433

5 ай бұрын

I think bro could have done without a transitional object if you're picking up what I'm putting down

@mowmowkittycat

5 ай бұрын

@@jonasbobbykins433 wat does that even mean

@TheCyanSqueegee

5 ай бұрын

@@mowmowkittycat just transphobia probably

@TheCyanSqueegee

5 ай бұрын

Casio F91W gang

@mowmowkittycat

5 ай бұрын

@@TheCyanSqueegee thats what i thought.

Hey! There is actually a minecraft community for this sort of thing at the beginning. Its the Beta 1.7.3 community that plays an old version and enjoys the game like people did in 2011

Not sure if this is what you want or need to hear but I've always really liked your stuff I found you through Half Life I think, ages ago, you got me really invested in that game, not important I just want you to know you've made a big impact on me, and the way I think about art, and myself, and I really appreciate it, thank you I hope things work out for you

I’m seriously sorry to hear about your situation. I wish you the best, and I absolutely love your content.

Stay safe. This sounds awful, and I hope you can make it through these trying times.

@Puxi

5 ай бұрын

Bro what did HE to HIMself? HE dressed up like a clown and HE used a voice changer.

@slop599

5 ай бұрын

@@Puxi you must live a really sad and angry life, hope you find happiness soon dude. it's not hard to suck up your own beliefs and simply wish another person good luck.

@mrmaniac3

5 ай бұрын

​@@Puxishe doesn't use a voice changer, that's called vocal training

Of the dozen or so video essayists I watch, you manage to make me feel so genuinely emotional about things, it's really refreshing. I wish you luck regarding the apartment issue. Stay safe.

Im so sorry you’re going through this awful situation. You will get through it though, and we are all rooting for you. Thank you for all you’ve done thus far and keep up the good work

I have no idea why or when I subbed to you. You're vids pop up every now and again and I always watch them to the end. I'm an older millennial i was 17-18 when I first found minecraft in a similar fashion to you. Its been an on again and off again relationship with it. Its been my anchor since when times get rough. Sending love and respoct your way!

sobbing rn i love your content and the way you look at the world around you. Best of luck to you and your partner finding an apartment

Loved the vid lead :D it was really touching and a calming/interesting watch. I hope your housing situation gets better (no shame for moving back w/ ur parents thats def a safe option) cant wait for that dishonored vid!!

I was recently homeless due to housing discrimination. Honestly going through this kind of thing can be freeing. You're forced out of all the normal routines and can grow in the process.

@Xvladin

6 ай бұрын

Housing discrimination? How? Is it not that you just can't afford a home? People just want money

@SanityVideo

6 ай бұрын

@@Xvladin I have money and multiple interested options disappeared after finding out I was trans. It was only a couple weeks in my car but it does happen.

@ItSkramztime

6 ай бұрын

@@Xvladin what? did you think it was just about not baking cakes for gay folk weddings? Bigots want to spread their contempt and hatred and misery to those they despise far more than they could ever want the money they have. Take the time to read up on the history of redlining and how it shaped american segregation while you are at it. Housing discrimination is not only real, but an extremely common problem in a world where private property holders have all the laws written to their benefit, that is to say, laws that are explicitly designed to maximize their profit seeking endeavors, especially at the cost of individual human rights.

@Xvladin

5 ай бұрын

@ItSkramztime This is pretty ridiculous. Most property in the US is owned by some giant company who literally only cares about money. The rest is owned by people who just want money. How do your even know if was some kind of discrimination? Trans victim stuff is so annoying right now, and I can't wait for this fad to be over. The tide is turning though, you can see this kind of stuff slowly going away from the mainstream.

@Kramerica962

5 ай бұрын

@@SanityVideolol

What a fantastic video. Minecraft evokes the same emotions in me...every time I play it I remember being 13 and playing it for the first time, having deep talks with my friend while we played. Thank you for articulating these feelings so well. I hope by now you've found somewhere to live.

Such a great and heartfelt video, thank you so much for sharing your experience with this game and what it means to you

I hope that yourself and your partner find the stability that you need

this video made me cry so hard, when I was a kid I had a realm with my friends and they all eventually moved away, I haven't seen or heard from them in years but I still think about waking up on the weekends and calling them on our home phone. We'd build secret bases and have battles and talk about our favorite KZreadrs all to Minecrafts soundtrack. I cry so hard whenever I listen to it. Thank you for helping me remember and please stay safe

I wish you the most luck on your apartment hunting...

@KRCB87

6 ай бұрын

I don't

@GarnetMidnightSummerSelene

6 ай бұрын

@@KRCB87 Well aren't _you_ a nice person?

That was... heavy. Firstly I wish you good fortune in fimding a place to live. You deserve it. Now for the mc part: My experience has been soo similar its crazy. Quitting around 1.6 then coming back later on to explore new features, getting the Elytra and then stopping. I was also more of a builder than an adventurer or minecraft engineer. Thank you for explaining an experience so close to my heart

I feel like the end having that atmosphere is, exactly what you interpreted it as, and i find it beautiful in a way, the way you undertood it is, amazing

Amazing video as always! Also, losing your home, that is actually insane. I hope you can find a new home quickly.

I've been forced out of my house and living at my friend's attic for a week now. I'm glad you shared this with us today. You are strong for doing so. Keep hope, and trust in friends. These are hard times now. Over the past few years I had to forgo a bunch of projects and dreams in order to survive, but I'm actually glad I did. At least I don't feel like a failure for not working towards my previous dreams - they aren't attainable anymore and not through my fault - it's a freeing thought.

When I first started playing, the game had just been released. I knew nothing about the game. To me, at the time, despite the game being at it's 1.0 release at the time, it was just this silly little game I could build whatever I wanted in. I discovered mods a couple of months later. My first survival experience didn't go well. Fast forward to April of 2022, I found myself on the streets of Denver, Colorado. The friend I was staying with was getting ready to move out, and I couldn't go with him. I'd already been struggling to find a job at that point, but not having somewhere to call home took it's toll on me. The first few days, I didn't sleep a wink. I couldn't. I was fucking terrified I'd have everything stolen. My dad happened to be in Colorado at that time so he picked me up, we had lunch, and he took me to get a haircut. My friend let me stay at his old place (which he was still living at, for only a few more days) overnight so I could at least get some sleep and a shower before my job interview the next day. The job interview went well, and I got the job. It took a month for me to be able to get the ID I needed to actually start work, since it was in an airport. During this time I'd play almost nothing but Minecraft, since it was quick to get into and out of. Then I lost the ID, and couldn't work there anymore, since I couldn't get it replaced easily. The ID I used to verify I was who I said I was had expired, and I didn't have the money to get a new ID. In September of 2022, I'd been walking around for a bit, and a friend told me about a shelter they were staying at. I got in the next night, and slept all day. It wasn't much, but it was something. They even let me stay throughout the day, and I could even pull out my laptop and play games! I mostly played Minecraft here too, but I did play other games. I started and finished Doom 2016 while homeless too. Cyberpunk 2077 as well! But I mostly played Minecraft In April of this year (2023) I moved in with a friend, but had to move cross-country to Georgia. My roommate loves playing heavily modded Minecraft. He's super into the technical stuff, mods like Create, etc. I myself play a lightly modded instance. Simple quality of life mods, mods that make the views absolutely breathtaking, or improve stuff. The smaller stuff. I play with shaders, most of the time. The views I've experienced with Terralith and the Rethinking Voxels shaders are always incredible. Those views put Minecraft RTX to shame. Sure, my laptop struggles to give me playable performance, but the views are breathtaking enough that I just don't care.

God thank you for your honesty. This video spoke so much to me as someone who's been there before in the space of escape. I really and truly hope you find an apartment soon, and you can get to a comfortable point again

Fantastic work on this one Lead, I honestly really like your headcannon about The End and Endermen. It's weirdly cozy to me in a sad way. Best of luck to you two though. May you two find a nice place to say sooner rather than later

I hope life treats you and your Gf better :[

@ownerlesscat7523

6 ай бұрын

It's a guy lol grow up

@crimson-foxtwitch2581

6 ай бұрын

@@ownerlesscat7523grow up. your views are stuck in the past.

@itcouldbelupus2842

6 ай бұрын

​@@ownerlesscat7523Being an ignorant bigot is a choice

@whoisanarnb

6 ай бұрын

@@itcouldbelupus2842 they do this to annoy people just ignore it

Hope things get better! This was a super nice quality video even with all the issues you had, that's some real dedication!!!

I am so sorry for what has happened to you, I wish you the absolute very best in general and to find another apartment where you two can be happy.

Getting evicted sucks. I've had it happened twice in the last 2 years. But now I found a great appartment that is pretty cheap so I hope to stay there until I can buy myself my own home... or at least until I finish my PhD. Hope things get better for you!

I was 12, sitting in the tech class at my school my friend asked if I'd ever seen this "cool block building game" "It's like lego but on computer" You just brought back FLOODING memories of my first SMP with friends. Thank you for the nostalgia trip. I hope your situation improves

This is SUCH a good video bro. I'm pretty sure I've gotten full diamond armor exactly once in my entire life and I didn't even know there was that poem at the end of minecraft. But I remember how simple it used to be back in the day staying up late playing Minecraft on the 360. Your voice is so calming and THE WRITING. Great video. You've got my support.

Im not sure if you are open to suggestions, but SIGNALIS is a very interesting game to disect and quite emotionally loaded. I am hesitant tho, because A. It does lend itself well to understanding B. It is absolutely soul crushing, and that the last thing you need right now On a more serious note, i am SO SORRY you have lost your apartment! I wish you the best of luck in finding a home :(

@thesyclemonte6571

6 ай бұрын

Looked at game. Game looked stupid.

@yahkimicki236

6 ай бұрын

​@@thesyclemonte6571cool they weren't talking to you

@hotpocketsat2am

5 ай бұрын

is the game on steam?

@toastedfish1105

4 ай бұрын

@@hotpocketsat2amyea!

@toastedfish1105

4 ай бұрын

100% absolutely one of my favourite games of all time, only being topped by disco

I'm so sorry to hear this Penelope,I hope you are alright and you find somewhere soon

You got this girl, temporary setbacks are all it is ultimately, this happens to people less capable than you. Perspective, ingenuity, and ability are what you need to improve your situation, and you have that in spades. Love from PA, lemme know if you need some cash to get back on your feet.

Im so glad that like, so many genuinely great minds are spending so much time like explaining why we felt things when we played minecraft. You are genuinely my comerade, i love doing this so much. Like ugh im just so happy so many people care about finding why they felt like a really specific way when this one thing happened, i lvoe you.

Great video, this really touched me and I'm finding I feel the same way about the game. It's tempting to try to recreate memories but I've found its very hard to actually do it, it's cause we all move on and become different people. I try to make my life interesting now so that maybe one day I'll look back at it fondly. Really hope you and your partner find a great place, I know we're all rooting for you! Take care :)

ok i finally finished the video. i just want to say that it feels a bit crazy being grouped up with the zoomer squad because i’m only 3 years younger than you !! minecraft has always meant the world to me and i really loved this video and the fact that we can genuinely appreciate the game for what it is and what it meant to us. for me, minecraft “always being there” means that it was so foundational to my childhood i can’t imagine what it would be like without it even if i do still remember being 9 years old and seeing it for the first time. i remember the horse update too. my friends make fun of me because i can’t seem to figure out how shields work, i complained that they changed the combat recently and it’s so annoying, we looked it up and the combat update was 7 years ago. right now i’m in my 4th year of university getting a useless degree. almost all my friends are graduating and leaving me behind and it’s gonna be at least another year and a half for me because of mental illness making me bad at school. when i’m around my peers it always makes me feel bad, everyone’s going to teachers college or grad school or has a job lined up. it’s so frustrating. but i recently got back into contact with some of my old old Minecraft friends. actually, we used to play on a now defunct minecraft server called playmindcrack and my friend and i used to be kinda goated at one of the minigames that no longer exists. we recently found a server that hosts a recreation of that minigame. they have hundreds of members and weekly events, it’s crazy. everyone who plays there is someone who remembers it from 2013-14. the server’s still on 1.7 so before the combat update. it’s just like i remember it. some things don’t change. i still have these friends and people still remember the good old days. and you don’t have nothing in common with the “new generation” not at all

Yooo I'm playing minecraft a ton on the steam deck too!! Sorry about your house. Moving is very stressful and heartbreaking, and you didn't get to chose this. I honestly feel very similar about minecraft even though I'm a lot younger. I quit around 1.8/1.9 It still feels crazy to play modern minecraft. Lately my friends have been playing molded 1.12 and I really like the balance. It reminds me of my childhood, but not too different.

Going through something similar myself in finding a home, and haven transitioned, and with Minecraft. The game itself feels more empty and bare to me more than ever, mainly due to my every growing imagination. Brought on by my trauma for escapism. Where once I built for fun, now I build to create and push a vision forward. A vision that is ever in eb and flow. Finding new hobbies to keep that spark of joy alive. And becoming weary of nostalgia, which could bring back so much pain. I must say, it's good to know I'm not alone in this. So stay safe out there! Hope you find a home real soon!

Great video :3 I love how the particle effects are on a layer in front of you it looks so cool

I always come back to your channel. Something about how human everything is. Thank you.

Wait peopl won't let you rent their properties, seriously? I thought the desire for money overcame all prejudices. Apparently this prejudice is just super ultra strong.

I've been watching your videos for a few years now, and i truely hope you have the best of luck finding a new apartment leadhead.

this video made me feel a lot of feelings. hope you both find safety, if not in the world, in each other.

It's... impressive. "The End" (the track) represents so much powerful things, for a lot of people... I wish you good luck with finding a new apartment!

you such a talented writer omg. you get me every time 😭😭😭

Amazing video, really captures that nostalgia of the Minecraft I used to play! You've been doing great lately, lat few videos have been fantastic!

Good luck on the new home hunt! I'm sure others said it already, but I play minecraft just like you, but without judging myself for how i choose to enjoy a game When i play with my friends they are usually the ones grinding out everything and finishing the game real quick, They go to the nether for netherite and i go there for materials for my home Building a home and gathering the resources usually take longer than their own quests, so we all just enjoy it our own way

i am deeply moved and in tears. i am of the younger generation but i never had any new computers and played legacy minecraft on my computer for ages so i feel this, drift between me and my peers. minecraft feels magical to me but i never move beyond iron. i know the game, i read parch notes i mod in late game content, i know how to use elytra and get netherite and make farms but i just... dont. i sit in a world with so much more than my simple crude tools, but i feel the legends of the generations before me and i know the future that could be ahead of me, but i stay caught in stasis ig. i could become a god to the world, kill the dragon, be a king, but i instead enjoy sitting in my house, farming a surplus of wheat, raising chickens and cows and never automating much. i gather dyes and make random banners and live in a small shack. there's more to the world, i know there is, but theres something special ig, about being in a world with legends beyond you and unknowable power, but instead just watching the sun and preparing extra sets of gear for a player 2 or 3 that will never come. i am a quest giver for a hero that never comes.

the video title goes crazy damn

I felt like i was the only one who liked the laid back chill vibes of minecraft over the tryhard grindy careful playing style. Glad to know there are others who agree.

Thank you for the amazing video! And wishing you luck on the apartment hunt

I wish you the best and hope you can find a stable home💜

Good luck finding another apartment! Stay safe, you two

Thank you again for being so open with us, you speak to my heart more than any other creator I've found on this platform Dealing with my own housing struggle rn, so I get you girlie. Good luck securing housing. It fills me with so much joy to see you finding the ability to do things and have routine rn with all this going on, seems like it's giving you a lot of grounding :) you'll find a home, my heart goes out to you I hope it's soon. Thanks again for everything

I wish you both all the very best. It's horrible now, but it will get better! ❤

Haunting stuff, Mama Cheese delivers as usual. Also, good luck with the apartment hunt!

Yay! New Leadhead video! "... And losing my apartment" Oh dear lord My best wishes for you and your gf😢 I hope you can solve this as quickly and smoothly as possible * _hug_ *

hey leadhead - love your work... and im really sorry about everything thats happened.

This was a very interesting video, as someone on the absolute other side of a very similar coin. The first game I ever remember playing was minecraft, and I've kept up and played it for over 11 years now. As you can imagine, playing a game so religiously, especially as I grew up, entrenched me deep in the more technical side of the game, especially as my interest in coding grew. For the last few years, though, I've gotten so frustrated at Mojang for continually ignoring the technical community and even proactively patching out every interesting technical bug found. It's felt like I'm outgrowing the game, that it's being crammed into fitting a different, younger generation of players, just like how you felt that it was no longer being made for players like you. With such a wide sandbox, I guess it is really impossible to satisfy everyone. While the newest update looks like it might be adding some interesting stuff for technical players like the autocrafter, I've long given up on Vanilla Minecraft as a source of technical fun and stability, as I've found community mods to be far more enjoyable and reliable regardless. Maybe you might find what you're looking for in mods, but probably not (though you could always try to play older versions). Anyway, sorry for the rant, just thought it was an interesting parallel. Good luck with your housing situation!!

what level of unhealthy parasocial relationship are you at when you really wish you could offer your fav youtubers a room? asking for a friend (seriously tho, i'm so sorry ya'll are going through this, wish i had money i could give you or something actually helpful. I'll be rooting for you, for what little it's worth.)

I’m so saddened to hear this, please don’t give up I love your video essays! I’m so sorry to hear of your housing issues, landlords are leeches upon society and I’m sorry your suffering in such a way.

You are such a genuinely amazing writer

Too busy to watch this video rn (studying) but I read the title and was really shocked. Wish you all the best, don't let the world get you down

Revisiting your channel after ages. Thank you for your video essay Penelope. I hope you and your gf can find a stable home, stay safe

22:24 might wanna fix the audio the battle music is playing over you talking after you beat the dragon

i love building in minecraft. it’s been my favorite creative outlet other than drawing for years. so many of my fondest memories was playing minecraft with my cousin and his friends on a server during quarantine on a faction server.

the communities ive engaged with have always kept me near minecraft, and being only 18 means i was practically raised by the game. it will never have the same charm as it did when i was a little kid, but i always return to make my own stories. i follow the new updates, i play out server-wide stories with my friends and experiment with new blocks in creative. in a way, its my way of holding onto my childhood while the rest of me becomes an adult, its where i go play pretend in what is essentially my old digital backyard. cried during this video, 10/10, best of luck and lots of love

Just a warning, ending up back at the parents house to settle accounts and get out as soon as possible has a way of becoming... years.

I don't know that you'll see this, but I hope you do. Those gaps in your employment history? You signed an NDA. They can't ask any more questions.

I'm not very good with words but I really relate to your musings. We're the same age and I too put down minecraft around the same time as you. I also feel what you describe when I see the new content. Left behind and out of my depth. I used to build all sorts of redstone contraptions just hoping that I'd be able to build an awesome secret base with my friends. Those days are long gone but your video drew out those memories and their associated feelings. The terrifying first nights fighting zombies and spiders, the planning of farms, the logistics of redstone automation. Back then I felt like we could really build ourselves a virtual metropolis block by block. Now I go back and see outdated ruins, unfinished towers of babel, ghost towns where we ourselves are the ghosts. Thanks for saying what I struggled to speak out loud. Good luck on your real life adventure. Can't wait to see where you'll go.

I can tell this video was made with great care and love, thank you for sharing your experience ❤

I hope you're doing alright LH. Christ that sucks. 😢😲 If you can, find somewhere nice so you can be sure you've got a safe place. We often forget how important having a home is in our lives. Stay safe.

safety is an emotion alien to me in most times of most days. I feel safe watching your videos. I feel the world has some fires still burning through the frost. I'm sorry for what you're going through but I'm not worried - I know you'll bounce back and be in a better place soon. Beautiful work as always, Leadhead. Thank you.

Need to watch this still but you're tough as nails and killing it. Never forget that

Over the last year, as I've started transitioning (also a trans girl) your videos have meant a lot- particularly the newer/trans related ones, but really all of them. Don't feel like you have to read this whole comment, I just wanted to join in the voices of support as it's all I really can do. I actually rewatched your "How my Transition Saved my Life" video a few days ago, and nearly cried- which as I'm still (mostly- its complicated) pre-E is a lot. It's a really affective video, and expresses a lot of feelings that hit so much more now that I'm further into my own transition than when I first watched it. Our lives aren't too similar, aside from being trans and playing a lot of games (I passed over 2k hours in Minecraft years ago lol), largely as I'm a lot younger (still in high school). Despite that, your videos have meant a lot to me (especially the transfemme field guide, even though... um ..I've kinda ignored quite a bit of your advice and am one of those people that can stand an epilator, no mind-altering substances involved). Awful subtext of eviction aside (fuck landlords [mostly the commercial ones]), it was really interesting to hear your ideas around how Minecraft has changed. I'm among the younger ones who started with MCPE and nether reactors and being scared of survival, and have grown up with the game. Early pandemic, Minecraft, and particularly a small Bedrock realm with a friend group from school was my healthiest escape from the outside world and my own puberty (not that I understood that then), and since then I've been pretty technically and architecturally proficient in the game. I stopped for a while, and a few updates rolled past, but I've been playing a lot recently, building a little world on my own, accidentally doing what you described- building my own space. I took a break to try Fallout New Vegas (yep, I'm a stereotype) and somehow the dozen patches slowed down Minecraft- I don't know how, I didn't think it was possible, but after getting a bit frustrated in the buildup to the ending, I deleted NV, Minecraft worked perfectly again, and I'm back to my world now, starting to build a custom town for villagers, rather than the enclosed, mechanized trading halls I made several times as a boy, but now I want to make a home for these little digital people. If you read all this, I hope it helps you feel good about your work. Stay safe, and best wishes to you and your girlfriend.

Super sorry for loseing your home the Ecomomic situation is getting worse and worse recently

@PancakemonsterFO4

6 ай бұрын

You better not be a cryptobot or else...

@Ladyjuliet-uv5qt

6 ай бұрын

@@PancakemonsterFO4 Me ?

@PancakemonsterFO4

6 ай бұрын

its a joke referencing those cryptobot conga lines under comments @@Ladyjuliet-uv5qt

@Ladyjuliet-uv5qt

6 ай бұрын

@@PancakemonsterFO4 yeah those suck a lot IDK why they are still around didnt youtube block all non youtube links Which sucks too BTW

@PancakemonsterFO4

6 ай бұрын

@@Ladyjuliet-uv5qt it calmed down for the most part, definitely not comparable to its hayday where i saw at least one under every video

Loved the video, minecraft has a similar meaning for me, not about exploring but more to the enjoying the little things. I hope that things work out for you, trully.

your video captured my own feelings about the game, which I've never been able to structure like this. I love this game.

Yeah, this hits. I'm glad you had a backup situation and I wish you two all the best going forward. The music you've got during the end end segment might be mixed a little high, or maybe it's my auditory processing acting up again.

Good luck! ❤

i don't think i've ever heard of anyone who plays minecraft like i do before this video. i know so many people feel such a deep nostalgia for minecraft, but any time i play with others, i don't think they really get it, in the same way you've described playing with others. they don't understand that this game was what sheltered me from abuse as a child, and still does to this day, also as a 25 year old. i go through a minecraft phase about once a year, just like you described, where i'll do nothing but play and think about my world, before eventually losing steam and forgetting it, only to start a whole new one a year later. i remember all of the worlds i have and i know if i dropped myself back into them, i'd remember my entire home layout, where the spawners were, where my favorite monuments were, and my entire storage system's organization. i see these worlds like real places i have lived in. they hold the exact same space in my mind as the many apartments, houses, dorm rooms, i've drifted in and out of during my life. i remember them the same. i hope you both find a safe, comfortable place to live soon. the pain of being in the "wrong home" is a terrible one. i'm forever grateful to minecraft for providing me the right home through so much tragedy and i feel so warm to know it has done the same for you.

"i just wanna fish goddammit", that's the line that caused me to tear up fantastic video

Melodrama levels higher than thought possible