Overthinking Won't Solve Your Problems: Here's Why
Join us today for a discussion on overcoming the habit of overthinking. In this video, we'll explore the challenges posed by overthinking and delve into effective strategies to break free from this cycle.
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/424UAql
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
Overthinking, a common challenge for many, often becomes a stumbling block rather than a solution. Our conversation aims to dissect this issue, highlighting that despite our tendency to dwell and ruminate on thoughts repeatedly, it often fails to yield solutions to our problems.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:07 - The biggest problem with overthinking
00:32 - Does thinking lead to success?
01:26 - The scam of overthinking
01:57 - What is Mensa?
02:59 - How people Theorycraft to solve problems
04:41 - Takeaways from overthinking
05:16 - Thinking negatively improves performance
06:07 - Treatments of social anxiety
07:32 - The real tragedy of people who overthink
08:07 - You can’t think your way to a solution
08:36 - Wisdom from the game of Go
09:50 - Summary of overthinking
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #mentalhealth #overthinking
Пікірлер: 724
Overthinking won't solve my problems... As an overthinker, I KNOW! I overthink the fact that i'm overthinking, and then I enter an endless loop of shame and guilt and anger at myself.
@ElonMusk-ez5xz
Жыл бұрын
At the end of the day, it’s still overthinking. You gotta let that pattern go
@thebleaki
Жыл бұрын
I live in that loop too.
@alvareo92
Жыл бұрын
shame and guilt have got to be the most useless emotions when they're not a starting point to change
@Ethereal743
Жыл бұрын
Overthinking enough to comment this one, I feel it
@thebleaki
Жыл бұрын
@@alvareo92 Entirely agree, if only the other side of my brain that thinks it's impossible to not feel shame and guilt over everything would understand that as well.
“Paralysis by Analysis” is how I always referred to it. Really nailed this
@razzledazzle9971
Жыл бұрын
That's what most combat martial arts Coaches say
@violentdeath5160
Жыл бұрын
that's literally a symptom of ADHD "analysis paralysis"
@tomwright9904
Жыл бұрын
I think that's only one type of overthinking. There are many others. I might distinguish planning versus ruminating for example as distinct classes.
@TechnoBacon55
Жыл бұрын
the scientific literature probably learned it from you
@BorisBidjanSaberi11
Жыл бұрын
That's what everybody calls it
I think a big reason why people turn to overthinking as opposed to learning is because they were never given a safe environment to learn and the anxiety lingers from those experiences. Some upbringings are full of hostility and shame especially in response to failure or mediocrity. Which is an essential part of learning. Hardly anything we do for the first time is going to be exceptional. So rather than having a safe space where we can trial and error and gain as much experience as we need to succeed, we overthink. We think of the exact way we need to do something before we do it so we can do it correctly and avoid punishment. Which is tragic because this becomes our default mode of being for most of our lives. It’s tough to break this wiring and best wishes to anyone trying to grow from this horrible maladaptation.
@ianhruday9584
Жыл бұрын
This is such a good analogy! I wish I had read your comment before I wrote mine.
@zea.94
Жыл бұрын
i want to bookmark this comment
@Harmonia96
Жыл бұрын
"You're doing x wrong." "Wow, you're bad at this" Yes, [insert relative here], I'm well aware, but hearing that from another person, reinforcing my negative thoughts completely demoralizes me, and I want to crawl in bed for the rest of the day.
@zea.94
Жыл бұрын
@Avatar they can't 🙃
@hafeezhmha
Жыл бұрын
Bruh. This comment. I'm suffering from this maladaptation. I now realize, why it was so hard to sit and learn something. Plus I'm a gifted gid who's now miserable. This makes so much sense. Thank you!
Another uncannily in-time video from Dr. K
@pdp6839
Жыл бұрын
Bro honestly, it's almost scary at this point, 😶
@AstraIVagabond
Жыл бұрын
_Yup._
@nguyenngocduc1993
Жыл бұрын
Agent K surely 😂
@ariwanil1893
Жыл бұрын
More like Professor X
@PaKuaKwon
Жыл бұрын
Or you think everything is wrong with you
"Lose your first one hundred games as fast as you can" I can't put into words how paradigm shifting this piece of wisdom is for me specifically. All of your videos have been incredibly insightful but this one in particular is absolutely divine! Thank you for the umpteenth time for being you and sharing Dr. K and HG! 🙏🏾
@Freakazoid12345
11 ай бұрын
I've quickly developed the habit of losing.
@2072
2 ай бұрын
I also noticed that i learn best when i allow myself to fail a few times. Consistent feedback is the best food for the brain and we can only get it by actually doing stuff in the real world...
I just got off of a very emotional phone call with my mom. She told me something similar to this when I was venting. Stop overthinking. Stop focusing on the negative. It’s not lazy or dismissive to take things day-by-day and slowly adjust to a new way of thinking/acting. Thank you for this! ❤
@alvareo92
Жыл бұрын
Yes! There are teenty-tiny things you can do every day to make yourself more of a "doer", and if you keep those daily actions you end up being able to do more and more without even realising it!
@fluttzkrieg4392
Жыл бұрын
My mom says the exact same thing. She says I only know how to look at the negative side of things, and I'm always incredibly nervous at anything because of that, and that I overthink when she tells me to relax because everything's gonna be fine. She's absolutely correct. Soon, I'll make the biggest change in my life ever (living and working in Japan alone), so if I don't change this mindset, I'm gonna struggle in ways I overthink just imagining it.
@ciaa8387
Жыл бұрын
@@fluttzkrieg4392 You will flourish. Try to think about the best possible outcome only. Stressing about “bad things” that “may” happen does us no good ✨ Have a blast in Japan 🇯🇵 I’m sure it will open you up in so many ways :)
@ciaa8387
Жыл бұрын
@@alvareo92 Thank you for the reinforcement! I agree completely
Dr K is in my walls at this point
@NoNo4O4
Жыл бұрын
fr
@bubblytunaa9516
Жыл бұрын
Absolutely true
@sean640
Жыл бұрын
That's like witchcraft that will bless the next people that take residence in your domicile 🥰
@Freakazoid12345
11 ай бұрын
In your walls?
"The more you overthink, the more you actually end up screwing up." This sounds like a principle that's similar to how OCD checking actually leads to *less* confidence in one's memories: "Did I actually check the stove this morning? Or am I remembering one of the eighteen separate-but-indistinguishable times that I checked it yesterday? Better check it just in case." Rinse and repeat six more times before leaving for work.
It's important to distinguish between "Thinking" and "Overthinking". Thinking is useful, overthinking is not (by definition really). It seems to me that you need a balance between experience and thinking. For example, if you try to learn Chess through theory books without ever playing a game, you won't become a good chess player. But similarly, if you play thousands of games but never stop and think about why you lost a game, you will get stuck at a low ELO. It's almost like food, once you've eaten a bit you have to digest it. You can't digest food if it's not there, similarly you can't think without data/experience.
@cooledcannon
Жыл бұрын
Genuinely, the more I think the better my outcomes are and I have never reached a stage where I overthink in that it makes outcomes worse. Problem is thinking is tiring.
@cooledcannon
Жыл бұрын
I think it comes to learning ability and reading(or overall) comprehension. If it's high, you barely need any experience. In fact experience is very limiting. With thought, you can simulate things at all angles, but with experience you generally experience things from one angle at a time...
@Harevald
Жыл бұрын
@@cooledcannon overthinking is when thinking about something becomes an excuse for inaction.
@cooledcannon
Жыл бұрын
@@Harevald What's wrong with inaction? Generally it's better than action.
@Harevald
Жыл бұрын
@@cooledcannon If you are stuck in hopeless life, for example you are unemployed for years and feel bad about it, inaction would make you stuck in this situation. Rather than gradually learning skills to get a job or applying for jobs when you have some skills, you overthink and get scared "I can't do it", "this will be another rejection, it's pointless", thousands of "what if" questions that exhaust you before you actually do anything.
I've been a habitual over-thinker my whole life, and recently it's definitely been the worst period of over-thinking and stress. The timing of your videos is extremely uncanny, but thank you nonetheless. 💯
I have spent the last 6 years mulling over a large set of complex life problems in my head for hours a day, and it has gotten me nowhere. But actually trying anything is absolutely terrifying.
@payasoinfeliz
11 ай бұрын
after you are done trying something, do you still find that it was terrifying?
@crvlad
8 ай бұрын
Why you sound so much like me? Are we clones?
@jamilecarvalho9498
5 ай бұрын
yeah you sound exactly like me, but for me it was the last 3 years
Part of the challenge is overcoming a bevy of negative experiences when you do take action. If, for example, you are trying to overcome social anxiety and you go out and talk to 10 people, and each of those 10 people said something you perceive as unkind or hurtful, then it ends up being hard to continue trying to talk to people, and reinforcing that overthinking response. That said, if you continue to try to talk to people, your sample set gets bigger and you should hopefully meet people that aren't unkind or hurtful (or you see if there is something happening with your response), then you should be getting better by the 100th person or 1000th person. It's just getting over that initial hill that's quite hard and under-appreciated, especially if you lack a sympathetic support system.
@lucianamailme
Жыл бұрын
There is a key point to this, which is your expectation. If you talk to all the 10 people while expecting the worst, it's probably what you're going to get, because you will subtly have that negativity reflected in your behavior and people perceive it. If you approach people with positive expectations, you will consequently seem more confident and friendly to people, and will probably experience better responses. It is very unlikely that if you are neutral and talk to 10 people, you will get 10 bad responses, so this assumption or fear is also part of overthinking.
@AbandonedVoid
Жыл бұрын
The rough truth is that everything is the hardest when you first start out, but the bright side is that it gets easier the more you face that challenge head on
@cunnylicious
Жыл бұрын
@@AbandonedVoid and then you have to take into account how easy it is for the progress to restart, not long after you start it
@tomwright9904
Жыл бұрын
Do something easier... or deliberately harder... or that doesn't matter?
@joshparker5779
Жыл бұрын
@@lucianamailme I believe many people have had social skills for so long that they've forgotten how important they are and imagine things like "If you approach people with positive expectations, you will consequently seem more confident and friendly to people, and will probably experience better responses." forgetting that seeming more confident and friendly is a skill that they developed a long time ago and not something that just happens when you have positive expectations
Over thinking works he just hasn’t thought about it enough, great vid tho
@smixqse
Жыл бұрын
but if you think about it, it actually doesn't! oh wait
@freddy4603
Жыл бұрын
most overthinkers stop thinking right before figuring out the answer keep gambling
@krox477
Жыл бұрын
Lol
@suqma
Жыл бұрын
@@freddy4603 bro it is an obvious joke, jesus
@jj6148
Жыл бұрын
@@suqma Their comment was a joke too, referencing the joke "Did you know, that most gamblers stop right before they hit it big." Referencing the sunk cost fallacy. Now that I've explained it, it's probably not funny anymore though.
I was in Mensa. The selection bias of insecure people who need the validation of a card that confirms you're smart is really powerful. I am very skeptical of any conclusion about high IQ people based on studies on Mensa members which don't take that bias into account.
@p1ker1
Жыл бұрын
Was about to say the same (minus "I was in Mensa"-part) :D
@iche9373
Жыл бұрын
Mensa is a right-wing society based on meritocracy that leads automatically to a dictatorship of merit.
@guillermorelobalopez7553
Жыл бұрын
@@p1ker1 You didn't miss much. At least in Mensa Spain. National Mensa groups in Scandinavia seemed to do cooler activities, but I never went, so it's just an impression from the newsletter.
@wingedarr0w
Жыл бұрын
That is because Mensa self-selects for losers with high IQ. It is not the 'only' place for intelligent people. Top businessmen, academics, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, even many athletes are intelligent and have high IQ, but they don't go to Mensa, they go to a place with people who have done things that they are interested in. Mensa is for the people who haven't achieved anything.
@furrypuffskein6585
Жыл бұрын
im 17 right now so i can i give mensa for 16-17 age group do you have any tips for me?
omg. “we use thought as a substitute for learning”. I love that and it’s what I needed to hear. I adore learning & growing and I guess it’s over time led me to overthink too much!! I’ll try to focus on “learning” things instead of churning my mind lol. I love churning my mind to see what it comes up with lol 😑🥶
The walking example kind of enlightened me. The fact, that I'm thinking about how I walk, probably makes me walk in a weird way, which then makes me become even more insecure, which leads to more overthinking, resulting in me walking even weirder lmao
What I've kinda figured out at this point in my life (I'm 23) is that overthinking is like fooling myself to believe that I'm working towards a goal or an answer, when I actually have long gone past the point where I have any valid data to work out my answer. This realization has forced me to now be more aware of what I actually can be sure about, and where/when I start conjecturing. Generally saying, you need to actually work on something to add new data into your brain, to even start the reasonable, quality thinking process.
People are always commentating on every videos stuff like, "wow, so scary how Dr. Ks videos come out RIGHT when I was just thinking about/struggling with that topic!", "This video calling me out specifically lol", "Dr.K living in my walls, has a mic/camera in my home cause this feels like it was made just for me". These comments are so interesting to me because they're so common and on every video. And they're often top comments too. Instead of pointing out how it's nice that other people understand what you're going through (which many people do comment), and that these feelings/situations are common, it feels to me like people seem to be trying to hold onto their..."main character status/worldview". I don't know how else to put it. It's almost like those people can't let go that they aren't super duper unique and special, so it's "so weird and wild" that every video feels like it was made just for them at the exact moment they needed it, instead of just being common emotions, thoughts, and experiences that most people face. It's just an interesting thing to notice how self-centered we are, even when we don't consciously mean to be. Personally, it has actually helped a lot to let go of those thoughts and expectations that the world revolves around me and that I'm SO unique/special/complex that no one could possibly understand me. idk, has anyone else noticed this or any other interesting patterns in the comments across videos?
@shushafox
Жыл бұрын
I was thinking about the same, by my theory is that HG at this point has a big enough audience that for every video there will be someone who really needs it at the time of posting. It also can be a confirmation bias when they see the video's title and think "Oh, right, overthinking! That's what I was worried about, pog timing Dr.K!"
@Olia-ch-ka
Жыл бұрын
@@shushafox For sure. I totally agree about the popularity of HG and confirmation bias point. I just wonder what is the point of those comments. Since they don't contribute much to the discussion or show support of others experiencing the topic. I guess it seems to be a validation for the self? Like a congratulations to Dr.K on being relatable to ME. For coming out when it was needed for ME. I just HAD to let you know Dr. K, you made a video just in time for ME. Don't think there is anything majorly wrong with this, but I've just grown fascinated by those comments and want to hear from other what they think about this haha.
@cry9438
Жыл бұрын
@@Olia-ch-ka your can't stop it. As Dr K said, keep yourself away from worrying about things that you can't control. His audience is big and every topic that Dr K posts are really just general topics.
@user-is6tc2iq1d
Жыл бұрын
@@Olia-ch-ka as Shushafox, I also think that it's mostly due to the fact that the more relatable the video for a person, the more likely they are to leave a comment. As for why they're commenting, I think as a gamer, you skewed too much into the analytical part of things. I personally think it's about the feeling of gratitude. I've learned how much the expression of genuine gratitude can bring to your life. It basically makes *you* feel better and makes *the other person* feel better too. It's a win-win situation the majority of the times. For a lot of people gratitude can be an immense source of motivation. You can argue that ideally it would be more reasonable not to rely on external response from people, but that again is theory crafting, and as a tool, even if temporary, gratitude "dependence" just works. So, if you know the value of gratitude, you are naturally leaned towards expressing it. And that's to me what makes those people write those sorts of comments. It's the thought that I want Dr.K to know this was extremely valuable for me, because that will likely serve for him and people working with him as a positive reinforcement and in turn result in higher quality content in the future. Also it's boosting of the video through KZread's algorithm, which can also be the reason why people leave comments (I certainly do!). If I can't express my gratitude financially, the least I can do is to smash the like and leave a comment to help this sort of content grow on KZread. What do you think? Did you consider the "gratitudal" aspect of this? What role does gratitude play in your life? What do you think is the reason you picked up on this situation from the perspective that you did? Can this be the sign of some trauma on your end, or is it me who is missing something? Let me know! I'd be glad to read! Thank *YOU* for stimulating my intellect to write this response and have a great day! 🙂👍
@Olia-ch-ka
Жыл бұрын
@@user-is6tc2iq1d I don't feel that most of those comments come off as gratitude. "Dr. K is living in my walls/spying on my life/it's so scary that he post the exact topic I was struggling" for example doesn't have an aspect of gratitude in it. Uh...trauma? It's not that deep.
When i was in my early 20s i realized one of my biggest problems was being stick in my own head and overthinking. This is a still a struggle for me. It didnt occur to me until watching this that the reason games are an emotionally comfortable place for me is because they present an environment where I actually have to stop thinking. Even when im playing a more strategic game that involves a lot of thinking, you have to stop and impliment your plan. Seems like Its much harder to get stuck in a mental loop when the only way to the next area is to take action. Life on the other hand keeps moving if you do nothing so its harder to tell that something just isnt working.
This channel has helped me realize that feeling my emotions is the best way to navigate them, I actually applied this earlier today by choosing not to rationalize or justify why the bad emotion is actually fine like I normally do and instead decided to just feel it without justifying it or trying to tell myself it would be okay. It helped a lot I think.
So much of the reason I love this channel is because Dr.K turns everything adults have been telling me my entire life into words that actually resonate with me on a deep level of understanding.
@jimicunningable
Жыл бұрын
Dr K is a genius teacher; his analogy of a clueless newb who just needs to fight the Boss before he knows what's up, was a masterful summary of useless theory crafting a kid could understand.
The problem is i've had days where something was bothering me and I couldn't stop thinking about it and after hours of agonizing rumination i finally found an awesome solution to my problem and it's the greatest feeling ever. I think that's how I got hooked to overthinking :F
@tropicalsunset2546
Жыл бұрын
This is what I told someone a few years ago, a big problem that keeps the addiction of overthinking going is that 20% of the time I do get some new insight into my experience. I also believe that dopaminergic response is also involved.
@tomwright9904
Жыл бұрын
I mean... I don't exactly think of overthinking as that related to the task... more q thing that happens.
@cunnylicious
Жыл бұрын
happens to me sometimes, yet i end up not producing anything out of value. that does not seem like a good thing.
The game references are great and really drives the point home. Especially the "Lose your first one hundred games as fast as you can". When I was younger I was astonished by the skill of players in Quake Live and similar games. I tried to play them and it was really punishing experience for a new player. I kept playing and I learned that the harder you lose, the quicker you learn and develop as a player - and you kinda started to search for opponents that would challenge you, because winning all the time against less experienced players felt like a waste of time. Also, it became really fun once you became better to try if you could have a chance with players that you looked up to. The funny thing is that until this video I didn't really connect the dots that it's something I could utilize in real life also since it was "just a game".
What helps me to concur my overthinking is to make "attempt goals". For example, you are looking for a job, and you can count every interview as some kind of achieved goal of trying. You tried and you were great already! If they hire you that's great if no just keep searching. It's like doing push-ups to grow your chest: counting every rep is a win is much more motivating than looking in the mirror and trying to see muscle growth
I came in overthinking my problems. Now I’m thinking about how graphically Dr. K was using his mouth for his loose vagina analogy 😂
Speaking from my own experience, the theoretical world in our heads is a safe place. From a young age I withdrew from my abusive enviroment into books and ideas. There I was strong, I was safe. When you get skilled at withdrawing from pain into your own mind, it runs the risk of becoming a maladaptive behavior. It protected you once when you couldn't control your enviroment, but now you have to let it die by recognizing its negative impact and becoming more aware of it when it happens.
Here is what I typically do when I face overthinking and creating obstacles for myself. I write this down for every new obstacle I overthink off . Here is an example. Experience: Initiating a group activity with friends Obstacle: Uncertainty about their interest and availability Evidence: Successfully organizing and engaging friends in the group activity, leading to enjoyable experiences and strengthened friendships. Then I write these down on my notes, so I can go back to it and remind my brain the evidence of overcoming the obstacle and the outcome.
A person that only thinks, has nothing to think about, except thoughts. - Man who was smarter than me
@robertimmanuel577
Жыл бұрын
tom ampere
@myyoutubeaccount4167
Жыл бұрын
True unfortunately
What I've done and still do is to throw myself out there, a self imposed exposure therapy whenever I feel down or stuck in a rut. Going out for walks and greeting people Hello with a warm smile, seeing family, etc that all helps. Also engaging in more self-care and writing helps a tonne too when I notice I'm being a bit too selfless. Go and experience something you've never done or seen before get into a new hobby 😊
@yara-um6tx
6 ай бұрын
I second this, get out there and do activities that will get you out of your comfort zone. It’s really healing for over thinkers
I asked my friend for feedback awhile back, on what she thinks is wrong with me. She told me, very bluntly, that I was an overthinker. Suprisingly, I thought about what she said the whole day! At the end I realized I *was* an overthinker. I was overthinking her statement. I didn't expect it to be true, that's why I thought, throughout the day, If am I really an overthinker. Thanks Dr.K - I'll try to follow the advise you have said in this video!
Thank you for this video - I have the tendency to overthink, but am now trying to just live my life. It’s a challenge sometimes, but living out-loud is better than living inside your head.
I definitely needed to hear this I overthink alot of the time in any situation when it comes to moveing forward in life. It’s pretty exhausting being in your own head createing probelms that don’t exist but can feel extremely valid. Alot of this stems from anxiety which makes it worse than it was being able to know whats ahead of you isn’t healthy or natural it’s simply being in the present which I struggle with so hopefully therapy pays off.
This is precisely why Dr. K, a genuine medical professional like you, is absolutely exceptional✨ The statement 'what's the only way that they are going to learn by actually doing something' is incredibly accurate, relevant, and practical advice for individuals in that particular phase. 😆👍 Without the background knowledge and understanding of who this advice is intended for, it would be inappropriate given the current time, period, or circumstances. I believe this is the essence of the 'thinking' approach. The premise must align with the situation's progression and the individual's mindset, where the problem is personally recognized.
Man your channel is a goldmine.. Im learning so much about myself after all these years of struggling.. thank you for ur service
Bro these videos DR.K has been making lately are dank. I have never seen this man talk to us so directly in the face while incorporating so much gamer lingo and analogy to help us understand. We've said it once but we'll say it again. Thank you, DR.K.
Never been diagnosed with anything but I know I definitely overthink a lot and in social situations where I think about approaching someone, I think myself away cus of thoughts like "nah it'd be weird" amongst many other things. Been learning and trying to teach myself lately that I need to let go of my mental cage and live my life and find more connections out there and move forward without thinking so much and then later thinking again how it could've went instead of just living through whatever happened. Insightful and helpful video to better understand my own mind. Thank you
The walking example is actually something I experienced firsthand, kind of. I spent a week at a monastery where they did walking meditation every morning, and when I first tried to walk slowly and mindfully I almost fell over. It was so surprising, and quite eye-opening. Also: Walking meditation is MAGICAL. ❤️🙏
I overthink because I've dealt with too many underthinkers who are dead wrong about stuff; I learned to stop trusting their judgement, peer pressure, and silencing tactics.
@Hexanitrobenzene
Жыл бұрын
"underthinkers " - first time I've seen this word :)
@drowzeehypno9154
Жыл бұрын
The underthinkers be tilting you into a overthinker
@asd3601
Жыл бұрын
the problem is underthinking leads to a less stressful happier life, im a chronic overthinker and its horrendous
This is so true. I had this problem with overthinking all my life since I also plan a lot of things way in advance. Took me then just one try in real life to realize that some things work, some don't and need to change. Until I tried my plan just once I was just in this endless loop of thinking about possible solutions. It's true that once you try it and get experience the solution will just come based on the feedback you get.
Man, I've been in a hole for months, and recently found you, about 2-3 days now. Binge-watching your videos. All I can say is that your content has helped me get my head above the waters, out the deep end. I haven't slept in over 24 hours, I have finally completed an entire spreadsheet of my goals, vision, plan, and realized how I was wrongfully mixing up my goals, which led to a complete clusterfuck. Ever since, I realized that previous goals I had like... saved on Pinterest (I know, I'm a loser), but I had like some sort of wishlist such as specific cars, watches, housing, even as far as the type of wife I wish to have (no I don't fap, and haven't fapped in the longest time, which I'm proud of, unless its E.D. and I'm numb, idk.)... so I revamped my Pinterest goals and realized how I removed most of the saved stuff and came down to exact goals, for exact periods of time, very achievable tasks, everything is properly divided, I'm high on caffeine and protein bars, and chugged about 3 liters of water, if not more.... You are awesome, man, and I can't thank you enough.
@shinydefault9588
Жыл бұрын
Happy for you, been on the same journey. Just remember don't do stuff for the sake of making up for lost time. Cause if you're faced by a bigger problem suddenly you've lost 2x the progress you've made and it is hard to recover from it then. As you said simple goals without blaming your past decisions is the way to go, hope I'll be able to recover from my slump. Don't mind me if you already know this, I'm writing this as a reminder to myself as its been hard couple of months for me.
@BIGGELATO
Жыл бұрын
@@shinydefault9588 [you don't have to read this if you don't want to, nonetheless, thanks for your kind words] Yea, life is tough, man. I didn't have any guidance nor discipline growing up. Raised without my dad, mom worked all the time... But she didnt know any better. Its ok. Recently, (well it's happened before, but it hit pretty hard lately) I felt like a complete waste of space. Brainstorming reasons to live, felt no purpose whatsoever, even though I have huge goals I wish to accomplish, I knew it was just my thoughts letting me know I hit a wall. It didn't feel like rock bottom, but more like being cornered to a wall, and all I saw was a repetitive future, me not going anywhere in life. Realizing if I don't figure this out, ill be stuck here forever. A quote that had me thinking; Anxiety is predicting failure, confidence is predicting success. I would force myself to be confident, positive, optimist again. Had me repeat it daily. Also, turning "should" into "can". Instead of "I should be there", to "I can do this now, at the very least". Increments. The journey of 1000 miles starts with 1 step. Been in this hole for the past 4 years, in and out of it, ups and downs, can't tell if it'll happen again... but every time I get back up it feels like I can breathe again and cool down. Awareness is so important. At least you know what the issues are by identifying them and use will power to fix it. It's a bit of a skill you need to learn, to be "aware", also learning how to understand how your thoughts work. Your subconscious will throw suggestions at you every time it feels boredom, it'll beg for the "vice" it's addicted to; whether it's smoking, drinking, doing drugs, video games, "fapping", or eating sweets and spend time scrolling on Pinterest and KZread like I did... gotta learn to detach feelings from the work you have to do by simply saying "what can you do" instead of "what should you do", and knowing why you want to truly achieve your goals. To be productive? To reach your highest potential? etc. So yeah, and being conscious about negative thoughts and cancel them the same moment. Cut it off and ask better questions to yourself, because you most likely know what is wrong and how to fix it. I'm trying not to write too much because I can type all day and bore the hell out of you, hahaha. Dr K has great content, easy to understand. I genuinely hope you figure out your issues on your side, actually update me when you do! I'm here across the screen if you need someone to talk to, no problems whatsoever 🙏
@BigBootyBatman
Жыл бұрын
@@BIGGELATO my biggest problem with finishing this video is the realization that my biggest strength, which used to be being very logical and high IQ aka overthinking is currently my biggest disadvantage. It's a little disheartening to see that a lot of aspects of my brain are rusty because of it but it is what it is. Can't be perfect from the get go. Only way is up.
@cunnylicious
Жыл бұрын
@@BIGGELATO good luck on your journey, ive kinda been facing the same problems. ive been a neet for more than a year now and even found out about dr k 2 years ago but while he has helped rationalize problems I still find myself stuck in this rut. the anxiety of running into too many dead ends just make my overthinking worse.
@BIGGELATO
Жыл бұрын
@@BigBootyBatman Do you feel like you got an overwhelming amount of knowledge, but it feels like things aren't quite connecting, like tying dots... So you feel like you know so much but yet you actually realize how many doors you've opened, new topics, multiple forms of guidance or info from different folks? Now knowing how much you actually don't know? It's "The Dunning-Kruger Effect". Happens often in our lives, multiple times. Even the wisest of the wisest know just how much there is to learn, but realize what actually matters to them and what has nothing to do with them. Think of a business. You may be able to wear all the hats and reach a million bucks a year on your own, but then your next goal is 10 million, but realize the only way to get to that amount is by delegating work, because you have a finite amount of personal time, energy, and knowledge to keep up and grow 10X, so you need others to help you now. So back to knowledge and overwhelm, there becomes a point where you eventually plateau, you hit a wall, you hit your limit of knowledge intake... what really matters now is taking action, but where do you go from here? You are still mixed up, you haven't gotten a straight answer, so? The reason you keep going back to feeling the need to keep learning is because you haven't found the way to put action, or at least know where to start, or feeling like you're unsure of the path you want to go (destination), and still look for guidance. Maybe you are stuck with "I SHOULD be doing this, or I SHOULD be here, but I'm here" stuck in the past, instead of thinking, "well, what can I do now? What is something minimal that I can do now? What can be my next move? What are my options?" and if negative thoughts occur, shut them off, they aren't real, your mind is simply trying to keep you immobile and safe. Anxiety predicts failure, whereas confidence predicts success. What can you do now that could potentially feel like you're going the right way? If I'm off, let me know. Maybe I misunderstood what you said. Nonetheless, you will figure it out inevitably, just a matter of time. Being aware is your first step, so you are on the right path.
Omg Dr K, I'm so glad you talked about Go since your platform is so big!! It's such a fun game and I hope more people can learn about it! I first learned about it when I read Hikaru No Go as a kid.
Dr K you are amazing with these boys. They need you so much and your work is very important. Thank you!!!
Woah !! I can’t help but feel like Dr. K is speaking directly to me - again. This video is going into my everyday Dr.K Playlist. I will try to apply his advice into my life. Btw- love how insightful, intelligent yet funny and open he is 😭😆💗❤🎉
The walking example, that hit really close to home. For years I've been stuck. I was really good at most things I tried, yet one day I did the analogous thing as in the walking example but with thinking itself. I started thinking about thinking and the recursive nature of that left my brain in a permanent state of OCD and rumination that has only gotten worse with the years. Right now I have some sort for desperation to reset my brain to its state a few years ago. It all just happened in a matter of minutes, I was never the same again.
I needed this so much. Thanks. You are amazing
How is this man such a God????? Really needed to hear this
Absolutely loved this video. The concept of losing a hundred go games as fast as possible is wonderful-reminds me of the idea that every painter has a hundred lousy paintings in them so it's best to get through them as quickly as possible. Saved this video to revisit later to remind myself to adopt a bias toward action.
I tend to get bitter at the folks in my life who say 'stop thinking about it so much,' in pretty much any context. It has always felt like an invasion of privacy, like, how the hell do you know what I'm thinking? I'm the only one in my head. but in reality, my facial expressions and body language tell a story that I cannot control through 'theorycrafting.' I've grown to resent it when someone tells me to 'try thinking less,' but I believe that these people have always been trying to help me. I will try to notice when these feelings bubble up, and recognize the origin of why I'm upset
@tomwright9904
Жыл бұрын
I guess... but some alternatives... * Make a decision * Write something down
@payasoinfeliz
11 ай бұрын
the biggest hurdle is being defensive rather than realizing people often want to help
dude your videos are literal therapy for me everytime
I'm so in love with the theories I make up in my mind that I frequently continue them even when faced with repeated failures in the real world. Sometimes I attempt a particular strategy in a relationship.... I know ahead of time that this approach has failed say 100 times in a row, but I still have a fundamental disagreement with reality where I hope the 101's or 1001'st time will work differently. Then when I inevitably fail I frequently blame the other person, or the system, or society.
I know all about over-thinking. I've been working on myself over the past couple of years in terms of rumination and worrying (the past and the future that are done and don't exist yet). I've been making progress. One thing I wonder about, that doesn't always come up in these sorts of nuggets of advice, is what to do if you "believe" the opposite of the advice. You "believe" you aren't smart/can't do something; you "believe" that worrying will help you avoid problems; etc. You probably aren't stupid; you probably can do something; and worrying won't help stop things from happening. How do you change that belief?
A Dr K video is never late, nor is it early; it arrives precisely when it needs to.
@letsreadtextbook1687
Жыл бұрын
Dr K is a wizard confirmed
I understood this through Tabletop RPGs as games. But I can see applications in many parts of life. Thank you🙏
My problem is that I thought about not being able to speak in public for so long now that I’ve been actively in AA and Celebrate Recovery for a year now and I’ve only been able to share twice. Even when I really want to. I almost can’t tell the difference in my body between a growling dog in the room and sitting in the room with people sharing feelings. I want to run but I don’t. I thought continuing to go would help me get over it but I am still frozen unless I’m literally called on. Somehow I can talk then…sometimes…. Doing good though, 13+ mo sober and this channel has helped so much with my journey!!! 😅😊
Dr K the mind reader!! He knows! Overthinking rarely leads to success and this has been an issue my life! Thank you sir!
Been desperately needing this video!
Thznk you! Simply 'doing things' really does cut it.
Outside of baking and having to stick to the correct cooking temps, a recipe is really a guideline. You can add or subtract things to your taste. I really wish I can find a way to apply this methodology to real life. The uncertainty is what scares me and what causes my brain to run a bunch of scripts and scenarios to the point of overwhelming myself with *nothing*.
Great wisdom, thanks!!
The fact that most of Dr. K's videos seem tailor-made for me makes me realize how much work on myself I still have to do...
I always thought that keep thinking and thinking about something would always help me but since I discovered these terms like overthinking and social anxiety it makes so much more sense now about that things that I ve been thru😢
I'm guilty of overthinking to the point where I overthinking irl and in-game. It gets to the point where I would spend hours overthinking which class/character to play/main than actually playing the game. Irl I overthink almost everything to the point where it's hard to move forward with certain goals or/and situations. I'm even overthinking rn while writing this wondering/worrying what people will think of it lol. It's truly a living nightmare. Paired with second guessing every action and wondering if it was the right choice or not it's a lot. Either way this video has helped bring light to the problem and also a very powerful solution. So again, thank you
i literally was just looking at your overthinking videos because i needed advice. 13 hours later you post this.
"Overthinking over analyzing separates the body from the mind" This line from the song Lateralus always stands out to me. Tool have some of the best lyrics out there.
This is so valuable... Thank you!
Without exception, every single success story has strong and essential elements of luck. Intelligence and hard work are the most venerated, yet the least important.
@krox477
Жыл бұрын
Good parenting
@suqma
Жыл бұрын
Hard work is the LEAST important? G, this is why you're not rich That is pure cope, whichever way you put it
@user-qt2bm2ke8d
Жыл бұрын
@@suqma Be born in Kenya and get no access to an education and you'll never earn a million dollars even if you work 24 hours a day. Amazon was created incidentally, so was KZread, Facebook, dozens of billion dollar companies were projects created with very little effort that just so happened to coincede with the appearance of a certain niche. That said modern people, especially the younger generations, do tend to overexert the influence of luck.
@suqma
Жыл бұрын
@@user-qt2bm2ke8d honestly Obviously if you're born in kenya or somewhere, you're fucked, bu anyone in a 1st world country is just coping hard And for luck to be there, you have to be there too
This is great advice, thank you for making this video.
Makes sense, I love thinking and most people would call it overthinking. I love thinking stuff through etc and it is not a means to an end for me, I enjoy the process, However if I want to get things done then I have to stop myself from thinking further than a certain point/amount about things. It just isn't productive if the goal is to get the things done. Lukily I really enjoy the thinking process so I don't see overthinking as wasted time, but kinda like a hobby. However it is seriously counterproductive if you only do the thinking to solve your problems. Then doing something and failing and adapting is much more useful than only thinking about it
Its unfortunate that so many of us learned from a young age that failure is not an acceptable outcome in any situation, therefore we came to the conclusion that we had to solve every problem in our heads beforehand to "guarantee" success, and if a successful outcome cant be found, then we dont try at all
Ha... The funny thing is before I even watch this video, I simply paused it so I could think about how to properly do my shift coming up... And I was doing exactly what he described, overthinking it all. Once again, a great video.
1. it's not really about *not* thinking. it's about finding a balance between thinking and taking action. 2. just because a high elo player is good at the game, doesn't mean they're a good theorist, or good coach. high elo players are wrong, all the time, consistently. high elo = absolutely correct 3. top percentile iq mensa people might value other things outside of making money. iq is not the only factor of success 4. theory is required as a foundation and knowledge is powerful
Such a great video, you nailed it
Love this! And such a great message. Overthinking can stop us from ever trying sometimes too... Most people will not do something unless they think they can do it right/perfectly. But just trying can lead to great improvements due to the learning experience! 💯💯
When I was young I always would think and think without doing anything. Thanks for the video!
Thanks, I appreciate this video!
thank you doc, i've been going through a lot recently with my business (over 500K+ in debt) and your videos have been invaluable in dealing with them mentally, again thanks doc
excellent video. I needed this.
I’m just overthinking it again man. Clearly my life has been very depressing since so long. I literally have no life. This is clearly due to me not living a life and too lazy to live one. I’ve adapted to lazy habits and routines for a while now making me not have a life. I also try to look like others rather than be myself and my people around me say me to get more mature and sh while I’ve been falling for a while. I gotta change these habits. I gotta realise I’m just a kid at 16 and I just wanna have fun in life and that’s the main goal. I’m literally a TikTok kid idk how I’m falling but yea I gotta change this. I’m a handsome nice looking well gifted person. My only problem is I don’t understand myself and don’t live my life because clearly idk what I like and love as always. I know myself and my only goal is happiness. The rest of this life is easy stuff sh. Finally at dead last I have understood that I’m clearly depressed af. I’m not living how I want my life. I’m anxious and always overthinking to do stuff. I just don’t live my own life and rely on others to do and say things so that I can also live the way they do making me real weak af. I have to accept who I am otherwise m gone. Just a kid who loves TikTok yk. I just love to be happy with a dopamine rush and my only goal is to be happy. My thoughts really affect me but that’s fine. Other than that I think life is easy really. I can do anything I want it’s not hard. And this comment is how I want to live a cartoonish life rather than stupid cause it’s just about fun. I do tho tend to have a lot of ego so maybe Calma it a lil. Also now about the goal and ie I want to be dude and have a personality which I have already written not to complex. But the major thing is I gotta change my habits step by step in every aspect and then I’ll see major change.
Literally the title of this video has been in my head all day and then he releases this like how does he always know???
Top notch content. Thank you 🙏
I understand that you're supposed to beat overthinking by taking actions, being proactive to give your brain data to learn from - I also understand the examples given by Dr. K about social anxiety or walking. However, I am still perplexed as to how to apply this to a long, commited relationship ? It's a social case where you are already commited and attached to a person - once you start overthinking and doubting due to it months in, you cannot just 'try' things in fear of losing the person you want to have a future with, the risk is simply too big and you could get depressed/end up breaking up (which could be the learning experience you need, but the risk is too big nonetheless and no one can really willingly go through that). My question is then: How to solve overthinking months in a serious relationship ?
I regularly over think things. And it has been a major strength of mine. An example: someone asked me what the circumference of the earth was. I had never read about that or even thought about the circumference of the earth. So I quickly asked my self. What measurements do we know about the earth. And this is what I thought of. The meter was calculated in he 1700’s by measuring the distance from the North Pole and the equator through Paris So that measurement had to be a multiple of 10 So it had to be one of 3 choices. 1000 Km, 10,000 Km, or 100,000 Km. Well 1000 Km isn’t even the distance from NY to LA 100,000 Km is how we measure things in space. So it had to be 10,000 Km Which is 1/4 the way around earth. Which means the earths circumference is 40,000 Km. I do this a lot. I can think about something with the goal of creating new information. Which works great. But what the video said is rite in most situations. Don’t think about running while running. But if you want to change how your foot hits the ground then imagine that over and over, when not running.
This is true. When I did my driver license I've always thought about what I'm doing wrong why I can't figure out the clutch this that. I overthinked and it lead to me being frustrated angry all those emotions which blocked me from actually learning fast
My sister struggles with this and i had no idea how to help her. I'm gonna listen to this rn!! thank you so mucj
Caffeine causes 90% of my overthinking. Anyone who overthinks should try quitting caffeine.
I thought so much that I eventually reached the question of "Why ask why?" What is the purpose of asking "Why?" I think, thinking is an attempt of assuming control of stuff. The moment we care about something, try to control it, we will resort to thinking in hopes of gaining certainty.
love your advice Dr K :3
The problem is NOT OVER thinking. The problem is a combination of thinking about the wrong things and underthinking. For example, flat earthers that spend hours thinking about how flat the earth is, they are not wrong because they suffer from overthinking, they are wrong because the thinking they are doing is incorrect and they are not thinking deeply enough on the topic before coming to a conclusion. In the case of Mensa, these people are too busy thinking about how smart they are and about engaging in their games and other activities to make them feel smarter, to even stop and think for a second about how they can creatively earn more money. This again is not an example of "overthinking", but an example of incorrect or underthinking. Another thing, thinking is not the same as "theory crafting", thinking is using logic or rationale in an attempt to determine the truth. "Theory crafting" is essentially making up ideas, and seeing if they could possibly fit for your current situation/issue. Yes I agree with the idea that trying thing, gaining experience and learning is virally important in obtaining success. But at the same time I have noticed that when playing chess, if i am not THINKING about what I am doing, then my experience means NOTHING. If I absent-mindedly play 100 games of chess, and win or lose them, I would have been better off either way, if I just played 1 game of chess, then sat and thought about it for a few hours. I know this from experience! Thinking IS important, so please don't spread this foolish and dangerous belief in the name of encouraging people to go out and gain life experience. Because both are important, and both are meaningless without the other.
incredible timing 🙏
In my experience, sometimes the best way to get to the solution of a problem is to forget about it, relax, and the solution might come on it's own
Great video! I'll think about it!
The youtube algorithm seems to have started to read my mind, which means so many videos are amazingly relevant to me like this one. But it's also a bit scary how accurate the algorithm knows which videos to suggest. I've been thinking 😅 recently about how I overuse my cognitive instead of intuitive brain to problem solve. Intuition is amazingly powerful and most of us discount it, because it often suggests things that initially seem a bit 'out there.' But over time they make a lot of sense.
Bro, I was just overthinking my problems WTH 💀
this helps me look at my shitty behaviour today like it was a learning experience... Now I know not to stand in the middle of a photo, and just go with the flow. I see being proactive as a success for me, I really hated being passive and silent.
I did think about walking, but not the way you meant. I tried to push through my metatarsals more in order to develop stronger arches. Yes, it did work.
Insightful. I'll try it out.
I am proud to say that this second video of the search on this topic has fast presenting speed.
try to learn and not solve the problem. Completely agree and definitely the calling out I need😂
Thank you, you make sure much sense to me
One thing I can think of that, thinking about it makes it harder in the moment, is talking to people. Trying to have a conversation when you’re thinking about it, or self conscious, it makes it REALLY hard to actually do. It’s even worse if you’re self conscious of it, it’s like your brain fixates on it, making it super hard to STOP thinking about it