You make this matter so light and clear and natural! Thank you for having the courage to talk about sensitive matters (which should not be sensitive actually...).

@sergioescalona62

4 жыл бұрын

Lovely Video! Sorry for chiming in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you considered - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is a great one of a kind guide for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the normal expense. Ive heard some decent things about it and my m8 at very last got astronomical success with it.

PLEASE do more of these, it is so needed in todays world YOU BOTH ARE HELPING SO MANY OF US ON THIS TOPIC !

@gretaaarons4941

3 жыл бұрын

Yes v true. A good & quiet, dependable husband is a gem but sometimes his non-expressiveness can be annoying. You are left wondering whether you mean anything to him. The more bubbly spouse can initiate the spark & cheer & the other spouse will get into the mood. Expression of love is v important.

You hit on all the key components. -Biblical focus -Communication -Emotional/Physical needs -Balance -Seasons of life I will be watching this with my husband tonight. Thank you for a great video!

@framboise595

2 жыл бұрын

There is no "biblical focus" in this video. It's just pure emotional rubbish.

@Brokenhill42

2 жыл бұрын

@@framboise595 Explain. They discussed 1 Cor. 7 and Eph. 5, but using practical examples.

There is nothing more arousing to a woman than a man who focuses on his sexual needs and says I want you .

This message is my prayer🙏😢😢 I cried through the whole thing🙏🙏 lord please hear my crying heart to you 🙏

Thank you for breaking these things down and talking about it in an honest conversation.

Thank you for the encouragement!!

Thank you so much for your sincerity and openess❤

Thank you guys! I love these! God bless

Such a great video! Thank you!

I also Thank You Both so much! There was alot to point out that I found helpful, specifically (and maybe most mentionable because it was near the end. Lol!) Was when he said, He uses that as a "reminder/trigger to initiate". I wouldn't have predicted newlyweds of 6 months would be already struggling in this area, especially where she want's more frequent sex than I do! We are both educated enough in this area, that we know there are reasons for what we feel and do, so we are doing EVEN More to research and educate ourselves and share that with eachother. Again thanks for this. God Bless Y'all!

This was really helpful. Thanks! May god bless you both more and more =)

Such a great teaching and tips we can implement into our marriage❤️

This particular podcast literally gave our marriage a 180 degree flip, and such a better/healthier view on intimacy. These two give you the biblical tools that you need to approach romance with your spouse in the healthiest and God-pleasing way. We listened to this podcast separately, but then came together to discuss what we learned from it and went over how we feel we each approach it. That talk alone (and the little talks since then), has given us a much healthier marriage. So thank you guys SO MUCH for what you are doing! This topic NEEDS to be talked about more in a biblical perspective, especially with the worldy standards that are out there today! Thank you Thank you! Keep the wisdom coming! Sincerely, Bailey (@ourgreyfarmhouse)

@framboise595

2 жыл бұрын

Tell me where do you see such thing as "romance" in the Bible ? Nowhere.

Wow needed this message today

Whew. 😭 so good.

The book "Falling for Love" illustrates the deep unconscious patterns that make many of us fall in love in ways that turn out to be illusory. There are indeed illusions of love . . . which cause us to project a perfect beautiful blissful bond onto someone before we really know them deeply, widely, highly. Great romances that seem initially to be so amazing, and then quickly fall apart, clearly show us that we initially did not see the other, and our selves, clearly. So we awake from those misperceptions. We then have to decide whether to split up, or try to carry on being the different, more grown-up, "disillusioned" couple now, who can love authentically, seeing the other partner more clearly. At this point too, skills in "making" love where love seems to have died, might be sorely needed. That book explores those ideas quite well, I find . . .

Awesome 😊

Just discovered these...3 yrs later lol wish I wudve found u sooner. I have found them very helpful n a blessing

So glad you addressed how those Scriptures can be abused. So important for spouses to know who are not walking in healthy marriages and need to know where those boundaries need to be set. Nearly the first half of our marriage I was pregnant or nursing--so about 10 years straight. (We have 5 biological children). Intimacy back then looked so different then it does now for us. (Better now!!) Postpartum is longer than 3-4 months. Especially if you're nursing. It takes about 6 months AFTER nursing for the hormones to really settle back down to normal. Don't get me wrong...it is much better 3-4 months after the birth, but it takes a woman longer to fully feel like herself again. Having a baby just changes your body and chemistry SO MUCH. It's wonderful, of course!! But it the struggle is REAL! LOL!! I'm so thankful my husband was so patient with me during those years. You talked about initiation -- one thing I want to add that we shouldn't allow to get in the way of initiating is assumptions. We (at least in our marriage) often make assumptions or draw our own conclusions on why we think the other hasn't initiated in a while. This can cause all kinds of completely unnecessary conflict. Fingers get pointed, blame laid, defenses go up. Don't make assumptions! :)

@framboise595

3 жыл бұрын

@ Christin Slade This is completely off scripture. The LORD (but who cares what the Lord has to say now ?) said that a man could not touch his wife after delivery because of the blood , and it lasted one months or two only , which means that after the blood was gone , the husband had a right to touch his wife again. But you must sure know much better than God himself who created the body ? Post partum is not more than two months according to GOD HIMSELF. Have you ever read what the Bible say ? A man cannot touch his wife because of the bleeding. Nothing else. The same rules that God applied to menstruations also apply to delivery. Having a baby does not change anything at all. Only the bleeding lasts longer than 7 menstruation days. What you say is totally irrelevant anyway because even though you don't "feel like yourself" , God allows a man to touch his wife when she stops bleeding. So stop talking nonsense please. It's about God . Not about you at all. The problem is today 's husbands are so weak and silly that they listen to their wives rather than their Lord. Last point , those scriptures are not abused at all. Having authority means having authority ! Which means that a husband can go to his wife whenever he is thirsty ( Proverbs 5:18) exceot if GOD forbids him . You are another example of a woman both rebellious to your husband and to GOD.

Thank you guys for your videos, your thoughts and all you do. This was very much needed for me. These are things I struggle with every day. My husband and I are newly married but have been together for about 4 years.

Just subscribed!

9:19 Amen ,Thank you my Lord Jesus.💯🙌✔️

Sex may be a command, but my husband refuses treatment to make sex possible. Pray for me, please, because I don't know how to survive this.

Do you guys have any suggestions or advice on how to make time for your spouse when you have kids and not much babysitting options?

Encouraging me to have hope for my marriage again.

I have been married for 30 years my husband is 16 years old we don't communicate about our needs he controls everything he wants to do he won't love me if I need it he shuts me out and has every excuse but he does all what he wants I am lonely I have tried to talk to him but he doesn't want to listen he wants me to treat him like a god and I am just his maid he just watches tv and ignores me I have had counseling but he refuses to be any part of it he doesn't value our marriage

😪

i once heard it said (i think by mark gungor) that sex helps you blow off the little stuff that goes on during your day/life, whatever. without that, all the little stuff doesnt get blown off, it builds. yup. mark gungor talks about the circle too - when you fulfill your spouses needs, you get your own needs fulfilled. if you decide to be stubborn and NOT give what your spouse wants, then you're in a perfect standoff.

@framboise595

3 жыл бұрын

@ Ericka Iverson Gungor carefully avoids to say that it is the woman who was made for the man's sake , not the other way around. It is the woman who has to submit to her husband in everything FIRST. Suppressing this critical truth has ruined countless christian marriages .

@erickajen

3 жыл бұрын

@@framboise595 yeah i wrote this comment 2 years ago. theres quite a hubbub going around about/with mark these days, and while i still feel these were wise pieces of advice/info, there is a LOT of problematic things hes said. :( im grateful for people speaking out! sheila gregoire has a new book out called "the great sex rescue: the lies youve been taught and how to recover what God intended" - and im hearing a LOT of awesome stuff about it!! :) unfortunately in the process, mark has attacked sheila online going far above and beyond anything any Christian should ever do about any other person... and that is so disappointing. i follow Sarah McDugal on fb and instagram, and she has posted about it several times... hes getting quite a reputation for not actually hearing to understand or caring about the feelings of other people where it comes to his teaching. hes pretty much disqualified himself in my book and thats so disappointing. we got a lot out of his laugh your way to a better marriage.. but i definitely see the problematic parts! but its worse seeing how he is behaving when someone simply asks him to engage with research showing that he might have taught some things that have actually done harm... :( if you go find Sarah McDugal on fb (her current profile pic is mostly white - white background and white top - with her short black hair) she shared a post from matthew shallenberger on april 9 that has screenshots!

@framboise595

3 жыл бұрын

@@erickajen Well , dear sister. I don't need any of those books anymore. Just need the Bible . It has the power to heal all the things we have messed up for decades. But I can suggest you a very good website called " Biblical gender roles " The author debunks all the lies that the church system has been feeding the flock with for years and especially this misandric spirit whose goal is to criminalise men in everything , especially in the sexual area. More needed than ever. God bless you

@erickajen

3 жыл бұрын

@@framboise595 thanks!

You interrupt your wife a lot. Just let her speak. I notice whenever Christian couples talk the other spouse interrupts or just keeps saying mhmm.

I have more EMOTIONAL NEEDS and my HUSBANDS has more PHYSICAL NEEDS. It can be hard when you're not on the same train.

I think one thing that is missed when studying this topic in the Bible is that we're to honor and love and respect each other so if one isn't feeling like making love the other shouldn't insist and expect it no matter how the other feels. The idea I've heard of a woman waiting for him to finish while staring at the ceiling isn't them being one. It is one using the other. (for ease of writing, I'll assume the man is the one who needs it more) The idea that the wife should feel she needs to be sexually receptive any time he wants her isn't fair to her, doesn't take her feelings into account by respecting how she feels. One another's feelings are something which need to be considered and not be selfish. That sounds to me like being used, not being loved. If both don't desire to participate it becomes having sex rather than making love. Refusing sex as a punishment is NEVER acceptable. That's not right. But I think that the wife shouldn't feel obligated, she should WANT to share her love with her husband in that way, and if she doesn't feel she wants to at that moment she shouldn't have to do it anyway. He should love her enough to understand that. She shouldn't have to wait for him to finish because he isn't regarding her or her body, only his. I think if she feels used, that she has to be available any time he wants her, it would affect their spiritual connection negatively. He treats her as special by considering her feelings and not only his own wants and desires. Being considered feeds her heart and her spirit. When our bodies belong to each other they can't be given to anyone else. That to me is special and is the whole idea of marriage. But having to be sexually available anytime without consideration isn't being treated as special. I think taking her into consideration is the Golden Rule. Just because he needs something doesn't mean he HAS to have it whenever he wants.

@framboise595

3 жыл бұрын

@ Melody Kubiak Sex happens every time one spouse wants it . This is God's law of marriage. A man can go to his wife any time he feels the need except if God forbids it. It's not about the woman and her whimsical irrational changing moods . It is about GOD and his rational will. But today , Christian marriages are a joke. It is all about the woman because woman is the new god. All her silly whims are a factor now but God's will is put in the rubbish bin. Moreover , no woman needs to be in the mood to have sex. In fact , women's desires don't matter as much as men's desires because it takes an erection to have sex . Nothing else. In fact , looking at biology scares us to death now because we have become feminised , weak , silly and hypocrite. Making all about the woman is the reason why marriages are at such a low and the Lord has nothing to do anymore with those awful marriages that dishonour him . Because God made the woman for and because of the man. He made the woman for the man's sake , so that he has his needs met first and foremost. The woman is here for that reason . Not the other way around. Of course a husband can have sex whenever he wants except when his wife is bleeding (menstruations or delivery). You really think that God is foooled by modern women and the way they look godly on the surface but are just loaden with rebellion towards God and man ? Moreover , a woman has to be submissive to her husband in everything . Men who respect their wives too much end up totally emasculated and cannot be hard anymore. Once again , mere biology and male psyche , something that is hated by the hypocrites we have become . . What do you think Christian marriages looked like in the past ? They were strong and manly. It was about God than man first. Taking women in the equation and focusing on the feminine like crazy has done so much damage on marriage that the Western world will never recover. We are just dying out because of WOMEN and their silliness. By the way I'm one too and I hate how feminised everything is today. No more strenght , no more male dominance. We could not be cursed more. That said , if the wife is really ill , a considerate husband will not have sex with her. But are we constantly ill ? Do we have daily migraines ? Thank goodness we haven't ! It would be time to see a doctor ! So , what you say is really irrelevant.

@geager2

2 жыл бұрын

@@framboise595 bruh, you're insane. you're literally justifying rape, what the hell is wrong with you

@framboise595

2 жыл бұрын

@@geager2 I justify what the BIBLE justifie but you just hate what is written , don't you ? You want females to run the show and redefine GOD's morals ? Just take a look at what Melody wrote : "I think " . Who cares what she thinks ? How about being biblical for a change ( unlike this silly video) and say so speaks the LORD ? And what does the Lord say ? That sex happens any time one spouse wants it and the sex can only be withheld with mutual agreement. 1 Co 7:5 Melody does not care at all what the Lord says. She wants her whims and "feelings" to be heard and put on a pedestal. The wife's body belongs to the husband . She is HIS cistern full of fresh waters (Proverbs 5:18) . So where is your rape insanity there ? He has the key to her body ! Her body is supposed to satisfy him all the time (Proverbs 5:18). It is the LORD who told men NOT to go to their wives for a moment. No one else. There is no such thing as "rape" in marriage in God's eyes , you Luciferian feminist !

I don't think the romantic type of love is special. And I am started to think that the romantic type of love isn't real. I mean about more than half of romantic couples either break up with each other or divorce each other, while most platonic best friends remain friends until death. Also, most people are pretty much comfortable enough to be naked around someone and have sex with someone that they have no romantic feelings towards. So sex isn't really a thing about romance. I think that having a platonic best friend is a lot better than having a romantic partner or spouse is. Having someone who's like a sibling to you is a lot better than having a romantic partner is. Also, you would more likely be much closer to a person who's like a brother or sister to you than you would be with a partner or spouse. People tend to fight with their partner or spouse a lot more than they do with a platonic best friend, and you never fight with your best friend the way you fight with your partner or spouse. Partners and spouses are just temporary. If you break up or divorce them, it's hard to go back to them. With your platonic best friend, you're going to make things work, because they are your best friend, they are your go to partner. It's always easier to make amends with them than it is with a romantic partner or spouse. Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships, while there isn't that many toxic platonic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships, while abuse is rare in platonic relationships. So there is a lot of abusive romantic relationships, while there is isn't that many abusive platonic relationships. Why do you think abusive romantic relationships have a term for them called "domestic violence", while abusive platonic relationships don't have a term for them? It's because abuse in platonic relationships are very rare, while abuse in romantic relationships happens a lot. And also, a lot of people cheat on their romantic partners with someone else, while most people won't do stuff like that with their platonic best friends. Also, I heard that most people can live a life without romance and can still be happy. But most of the time, if someone doesn't have any platonic friends in their life, it can effect them really bad mentally; much worse than living a life without a romantic partner. In today's world, less people are dating and getting married now, and they seem to be more happy being single rather than being in romantic relationship with someone. Also, You're going to have a much deeper spoken understanding and connection with your best friend than you are with a romantic partner or spouse. So those are other reasons why romantic love isn't real or special, while platonic love is.

@icysnow57cold64

3 жыл бұрын

And also, it seems that fathers usually hate it whenever their daughter gets a boyfriend (even if the boyfriend is a good guy), and it seems that they often hate the idea of their daughter dating, and many fathers seem against the idea of their daughters dating. There are even shirts made for daughters that say "I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EVER DATE" and shirts made for fathers that say "DADS AGAINST DAUGHTERS DATING". Brothers also tend to act the same way that fathers do whenever their sister gets a boyfriend (even if the boyfriend is a good guy). It seems brothers (like fathers) hate the idea of their sisters dating. So it seems that most fathers don't ever want their daughters to find love and be in a romantic relationship with someone, and it also seems that most brothers don't ever want their sisters to find love and be in a romantic relationship with someone. So those could also be other reasons why the concept of romantic relationships isn't a good thing because of how protective fathers and brothers tend to be whenever their daughter or sister dates someone.

@framboise595

3 жыл бұрын

@@icysnow57cold64 You don't seem to get it at all. God allows marriage because of our sexual urges only. If we were not sexual , we would just need platonic love relationships . What you promote is a door wide open to mass debauchery. To avoid fornication , let every man have his wife and every woman have her husband" 1 Co 7:4 God made sex an obligation in marriage because fornication is sinful .

My wife has heard this 100 times and sees the results of the lack of this in our marriage and will still say it's not important. She fundamentally believes sex is only for having kids and flirting is only for new couples.

@aoyamiuriko5059

4 жыл бұрын

@Saad Bin Masud she is wrong,God knew what was good for us when he ordained the rules of intimacy in marriage ....if they are really one flesh,they care to resolve each others needs of intimacy and sex which was literally created for marriage and not just for children otherwise, fornication wouldn't be a sin.

@Questionablexfun

3 жыл бұрын

This is sad

@SnookOnTheFly

3 жыл бұрын

@Sandra I clearly stated the fundamental belief so as to not confuse it with people that have real sexual problems. This particular case is a classic bait and switch.

@SnookOnTheFly

3 жыл бұрын

@Sandra believe me I never make anyone do something for me they don’t want to do. I have more respect for myself in that regard.

@SnookOnTheFly

3 жыл бұрын

@Sandra that’s what you gathered from my comment? Seems a bit out in left field to determine I feel that way by what I said. With that said however, you need to find someone that shares your belief in that area. In my case she was all for it until after the marriage. You comments are completely off base. Not once did I say anything about not getting married. Not once did I say anything about forcing anything and, again, I clearly stated the reasons why there is no sex in our marriage. Pain may be an issue for you, but not in our case so please stop projecting your situation onto ours. Thank you.

I have seen so many marriages I mean Christian ones very dull, boring, devoid of any display of connectedness except for household chores & responsibilities. In India, very few folks understand communication & expression of love especially in marriages over 20 or 30 & above. If the couple live with parents or in-laws again the pressure is immense & couple time is v limited.