Truly inspirational, great information and creativity in how you showed what DID can be like. Good luck in your excellent future!

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

There aren’t any words to surmise how grateful I am for every moment the CTAD clinic gave me to help me recover in ways I could never imagine, and now I’m living a life I never thought would be possible! It’s all thanks to you and I only wish this level and expertise of help was available worldwide for all who’d need it ♥️😭 I’m so incredibly lucky to have met and worked with you and I hope somehow, someday, I can help others in similar circumstances using all the knowledge and experiences gained & pay it forward in a way 🥰 From the bottom of my heart, thank you for giving me a new trauma free life x

@Feverm00n

Жыл бұрын

Love your videos!! They are a lovely bridge for those of us in therapy but who can’t afford a specialist. Thank you thank you thank you for the work you do. I’ve said multiple (lol) times that if I won the lottery I’d attend The CTAD Clinic!!

@Freejanelle

Жыл бұрын

@@MultiplicityAndMe I just found you on KZread about a month ago and binge watched all your videos. Let me tell you I don’t cry easily, I watch human beings die all the time in my profession without shedding a tear and yet this video had me in tears, happy tears for sure. I got so emotional watching this. I am SO happy for you and for your family. Also I have to say though you do look happy in a lot of your videos this is the first time I have seen JOY on your beautiful face. Congrats Jessica and love from Texas!!!

@Sam-ji2lr

Жыл бұрын

@@Feverm00n As a counselor who specializes in DID and PTSD communities, I will say many clinicians keep pro bono or sliding fee schedule options available. Please search within your community for opportunities like that. Contact clinicians, ask around. You may be surprised and could get on a waiting list. It is encouraged in a counselor's code of ethics to do work like this and I find it very fulfilling. Best wishes finding a clinician to join you in your journey toward healing.

@ChezVegas

Жыл бұрын

Ngl, we'll certainly miss seeing you all but we're SO happy you've finally got the life you deserve. No amnesia and a beautiful family u can enjoy ALL the time! Its fantastic. We'd like to thank u so much for sharing your journey. You've helped us through some very dark times. Take care n all the best. Sending love n hugs.😁😘💖

Saw some comments mentioning how others might find you 'boring' now. I'm laughing because them not being interested anymore is actually good for you. You aren't a circus act, or a TV character. You're a real, adult woman, and you deserve to be seen as such, not as a tool for others' entertainment. I'm so happy for your balanced life and newfound freedom! Keep being 'boring'!! ✌️

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

I’ve never been so relieved to be so boring 😂🙈♥️🥂 here’s to an absolutely normal uninteresting life 🥰🔥

@callmeobsequious

Жыл бұрын

If someone healing means that they're "boring", then just let that someone be "boring" at this point! Being "boring" is better than only being interested in someone for their DID anyway. 😶

@Juwlz

Жыл бұрын

@@MultiplicityAndMe girl, you are a mom to two little kiddos, your life is anything but boring 😂 but I know what you mean, and I'm so extremely happy for you.

@becd2239

Жыл бұрын

Well said LaDessa. :) We appreciate you Jess for who you are. Multiple or not.

@eloujtimereaver4504

Жыл бұрын

The idea of fusion being boring is so silly, every aspect that was interesting is still there, just as one coherent whole.

Jake's laugh. Jamie's cadence. Ed's hair flipping. Ollie's growing up. The boys definitely aren't gone. They're just making up one big Jess-shaped puzzle now

@Captainbabytaco

Жыл бұрын

As someone who has been here since her early channel days, before she deleted her original, I can most certainly agree! It’s amazing how I can hear, and see a little bit of everyone now!

@micahroberts8383

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I saw this, too!! Also, how wonderful was that paint color metaphor? It really made everything make so much sense!

@koalaskrypin

Жыл бұрын

100% agree!

@91007183

Жыл бұрын

I can definitely hear jake and jamie in her voice. It is so incredible and im so happy for jess

@klundyates1

Жыл бұрын

This is the one that got me, happy tears, so happy that they're all thriving together as a wonderful wonderful woman who deserves so much to be happy

Kintsugi. A piece of porcelain repaired with gold, becoming far more valued and beautiful than before. You are a beautiful example of such things. And I'm proud of you.

@braileinrose333

Жыл бұрын

Exactly.

@gigibeal

Жыл бұрын

this is so beautiful to say oh my gosh, it made me tear up!!

@danielaaguilar6330

11 ай бұрын

My gf calls me that

@allieluvzyuhh

3 күн бұрын

This made me cry 😭😭😭

It’s almost like instead of each alter stepping forward to front as their individual self, they all took each other’s hand and stepped forward as a unit and have now connected emotionally and logistically.

@TheSapphireLeo

Жыл бұрын

Same and agree and all spirits, minds and souls merged as one! Makes us so happy!

@GuyG.KTalesOfAnimals

Жыл бұрын

This is a really beautiful picture to me, a really beautiful way to describe it.

@Faesharlyn

Жыл бұрын

That's an excellent way to picture it

@hauntedtoast9610

9 ай бұрын

I'm sobbing 😭

“My days are longer. There are no more holes in my day.” Man, that really hit me. Having a full day to yourself. Having all that time with your husband and children to yourself. Even on bad days, your time is still all yours. So happy for you, Jess! Wishing you a peaceful, joyful rest of your life! 💕

@nishalashay4402

Жыл бұрын

Your time is all yours Ξ

"No ptsd symptoms for a year" has me sobbing. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that it IS possible to get to the other side. Every week for months Ive wanted to quit therapy because it seems impossible, and I can't put into words how this video makes me feel. You deserve to thrive 💕

@AmbiCahira

Жыл бұрын

My ptsd symptoms has been gone since Thanksgiving 2019, please know it is possible. 💜💜

@forgetmenotfaery

Жыл бұрын

me too i want functional multiplicity but I'm totally ok if final fusion happens

@idreamed_adream

Жыл бұрын

Same I thought I would deal with PTSD symptoms forever. I didn't know they could go away. That's incredible 😭

@saramorris6104

Жыл бұрын

I had a pretty bad flashback the other day... but that was the first one in 2 years, and it all ended up okay. 🖤 getting better is totally doable. You got this.

@Roadent1241

Жыл бұрын

So do you! You can do it~!

When you said ‘I get to see every minute of my daughters growing up’ I teared up. you deserve the world. You’re all together and I’m so glad the ptsd is gone and you are truly thriving. This was what you wanted and it’s your life! So proud and happy for you, Jess💕

I feel like people think they disappear entirely but as someone who dissociates without amnesia walls, they don't. The pieces of them create all of you and you carry the best traits just together. I would love if you made content still. I don't see a lot of content thriving after healing from trauma to the degree they aren't being controlled by trauma anymore. It would be really hopeful to me to see what that looks like.

@shawnsee1464

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, this is so helpful!

@Youhavenofknclue

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for clarifying this!!! I was a little nervous that people thought assimilation meant they go away completely but this isn’t true. No longer being in survival mode for people with DID is absolutely a beautiful game changer!

@susanbartlett3421

Жыл бұрын

I have not been diagnosed with DID, and am almost certain that I don't have it. I do dissociate in highly stressful situations, and I do have gaps in my memory related to traumatic circumstances, but with cues, I am able to "remember" an overview. I am unable to remember some of the details, and what I do remember has no emotional attachment. It feels like I am watching a movie. This was great until I lost my Mom about a year and a half ago. Very Traumatically. I remember her, I know who she is when I see her in pictures, I know all about her, but I no longer have any emotional attachment to any of her memories. It sucks and is very depressing to "lose" someone you love not once, but twice, and then be reminded of that loss every time someone or something cues a memory that that I have no emotional attachment to. It was great when it separated me from trauma, but now I am afraid that I am going to lose everyone who is important to me when they pass on, not only from my life, but also from my "emotional memory." I'm responding to your comment bc you stated that you dissociate without amnesia.

@GuyG.KTalesOfAnimals

Жыл бұрын

Yes yes yes

@qwandary

Жыл бұрын

@@susanbartlett3421 That emotional detatchement sounds like trauma induced alexithymia, although it's only effecting your specific memories and not daily life it seems. I still think it might help to look into as acquired alexithymia can calm down and maybe yours will too with support and time. :) It'd be nice if you could regain your attachment when your brain feels safe to.

It’s like braiding strings then. All the stings are still there, but they’re now one large string that’s a lot stronger. This is great news! Congrats Jess!

@pisceandreamer3

Жыл бұрын

Love this way of looking at it

@kishinumaayumi

Жыл бұрын

GORGEOUS ANALOGY!

@yoyoyoyo-lq4jb

Жыл бұрын

This is the best imagery I've heard to describe this!!!

@chepan83

Жыл бұрын

That's a great way of thinking of it!

@fbxn

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying that, it makes so much sense. I am reinterpreting myself as a multiple those last weeks, I am 40 years old and diagnosed and cruelly "treated" in the past as bipolar1. Maybe ten years ago or so, I had a salvia(hallucinogenic plant) induced experience of unvolontarily aligning my head with an oval basket in the room(laughing but still being unable to un-align), than closing my eyes and connecting deeply, existentially, with the weaving pattern of the basket. I afterwards thought that this must be the healing path, and have always kept this in my heart. This summer, a very dear friend talked about a knitting pattern, and that this could be the umbrella of a project that we are exploring to venture into together. I was so happy and startled and said "you said that!! It was not me!" and told her about my connection to this path. Braiding, knitting, weaving, and also mending, it s love and self love that does that💚💚💚

I am very happy for you. I hope this isn't disrespectful or insensitive, but Jess 2.0 seems so much happier. I also can see, small mannerisms, gestures and speech patterns that very much show you have all come together. A hand flick that reminds me of Ed. The excitement about talking about something that fascinates you, like Ollie. An overall happy disposition that I associate with Jake. The intense love of explaining something and learning, like Jamie. And of Course the lovely Jess, bubbly, caring and kind. You are all one, but all still exist. Its beautiful to see. I wish you all of the best. If more videos come? Wonderful! But if they dont? Dont worry. Now is the time to live your life, free of trauma, and full of joy. ❤️❤️🥰

@alystairmabloch401

Жыл бұрын

I picked up on the same little traits and mannerisms coming through :) it lovely to see how happy she seems.

@Shadow-pn3sp

Жыл бұрын

ABSOLUTELY....well said

@abbyram8901

Жыл бұрын

I felt the same. but you expressed it so eloquently :) it's beautiful to see each of them with their unique traits all fronting together in one unified whole and see them all together for who they/she really are

@katerinasinha1559

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful response. And I rarely say this, but I couldn't have said it better myself!

@FlowerChyld43

Жыл бұрын

Perfectly, Beautifully said!

I wanted to say that I genuinely don't think you're boring without the DID or trauma AT ALL. You're a funny, intelligent, enchanting, interesting woman regardless. Share your hobbies with us, do makeup tutorials, do book reviews. Whatever you like. The world is your oyster and the right fans will still enjoy the content and you'll gain new ones who'll be here for whatever you make next 💖 so happy for you

@mortonmckoy1787

Жыл бұрын

Troubling we live in a world where people think it makes you less interesting to be normal and functional. Behind every face there's a colourful story to look into

I'm a trauma therapist and I just want to express my gratitude to you for being so open and sharing your journey with us 🙏 I've learned so much from you and also really appreciate you introducing me to the CTAC Clinic as I have a learned a ton from Dr. Mike Lloyd as well. I'm so grateful you exist 🤗

@graveyardbaby6204

Жыл бұрын

You shouldn't use non-professional youtube videos as a source of information. There are lots of videos like these and one cannot know for sure whether they're faked.

@portobeIIa

Жыл бұрын

@@graveyardbaby6204 you love saying that as if theyre saying theyre a trauma therapist EXCUSIVELY by watching real peoples experiences. god forbid you ever see a workday of a field journalist. none of the people they interview are professionals on living their life!

You just said "no PTSD symptoms for over a year" and I just started crying from relief. I'm so glad things are turning out alright for you and im gratefull for you giving us a frequent glimmer of hope and now having turned that into a beacon. Thank you so much for all your vulnerability over the years! Dont worry too much about us, go and enjoy your life! you deserve it

@learntobake2023

Жыл бұрын

Amazing!!!!

@jennyblom6638

Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤

@justme8841

Жыл бұрын

Its so crazy cause i cant not imagine that for myself yet

@LeftNamesNO

Жыл бұрын

@@justme8841 same for me but i feel hopeful

I remember when I saw your Instagram post saying you’d reached final fusion, my first thought was “Ollie will be so happy he gets to drive the Transformer”. It’s amazing to see you so happy and without those awful trauma memories terrorising you. Wishing you the very best for the future, Jess 2.0 ❤

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

Oh this is beautiful 🥹 thank you

I hope we can get a “a couple of years later” video some time where you tell us what’s up, and how it feels to be whole (still) and everything and just bring hope. You’ve always brought hope though. One incredible thing about this video is noticing that you switch from “we” to “I” in the first 30 seconds. I’m so happy for you and hope you and your family always feel good and safe and secure, no matter what happens. We’re all rooting for you, Jess! All of your subscribers, we all wish you the best! ❤

Despite fusion being terrifying to many of our alters, there was one night where we managed it (can't really say how). Knowing what it's like, to feel every one all at once, to be filled with that inexplainable joy.... We're incredibly happy for you. We're so excited you'll get to enjoy life to it's fullest

Most of us live as “brown” or watch “browns” on KZread - it doesn’t make you boring to watch that you’re healing

congratulations on your new baby and your final fusion! i'm so glad that you're doing better and that you're no longer experiencing symptoms of PTSD. i've learned so much about DID and mental health in general from this channel, and i'm so happy to see how much you've grown over the years. your videos were a part of why i decided to minor in psychology alongside my music major, so thank you once again for educating people like me on the intricacies and nuances of DID. much love to you and your family!

I actually didn't believe this was real. When I heard about someone's daughter being 'cured,' I thought, no, there must be some trick to it... I can't really imagine what final fusion would be like because we've structured our lives around dissociation and flipping it to our advantage. If I had to hear about the positive benefits of it from anyone I'm glad it's you - your channel has always been so grounded, helpful and insightful. My philosophy is if it happens, it happens, and it sounds like it happened very organically for you and you are enjoying a new sense of freedom. :)

I remember back in 2014, I had sent you an email interviewing you about your DID for a project I did in high school to bring awareness to the condition. I got many mixed responses from the class, but your videos had a huge impact on me as a kid about the importance of mental health and the stigmas that persist to this day. I'm so glad that this video showed up in my recommended not only as a reminder to myself, but to ultimately see how far you've come. You're an incredible human being.

And I'm crying. While I'll miss seeing the boys' individually, Jess, you are BEAMING!! I've never seen you so bright and animated. I'm SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you. Hence the tears. Lots of love to you and your family. I'll be here watching whatever happens next.

@raquelgutierrez1030

Жыл бұрын

Im about to cry, never did that over a KZreadr and im not sentimental but im so happy for Jess!

@evielee254

5 ай бұрын

You're beautiful! :) & I agree, I'm very happy for Jess. Maybe I'd have my alters integrate if they want to. I'd have Matthias' kindness, Astoria's unflappable intelligence, Everett confidence, Eri's sense of humor, and Evie's bubbly and compassionate and resilient personality, and Grace's innocent nature. Maybe one day. Not sure if I really want it bc maybe it would change me for the worse? Idk 😗

I have to say, I can tell your daughter has so much support from her parents. The way she said I know after you told her she did a good job shows such an incredible level of confidence in herself.

Hey Jess! Would love to see an update video on how you are doing now. If you already are used to I rather then we for example.

"I'm still learning what the new 'I' feels like." "The days are so much longer than they were before; there's no more holes in my memory." I'm so, so happy for you (singular and plural). You can do it!

My key takeaway was when you said that you felt yourselves becoming closer together and it felt wrong to try and stop that. Not every system will get that “urge” to fuse like you did and that just means they’ll go the route of functional multiplicity.

As someone who's watched you for the last 6 years, I am SOBBING tears of joy for you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all these years and of course, congratulations on this new chapter of your life 💕

“Entropy system” did a video recently, and it made me wonder how you were. I’m so glad to hear this!

The crazy thing being i can really see all of you in one. I can see Ed's facial expresions, Jamie's thinking face, Jess's usual self, Ollie's playfullness and Jake's hand movements. It's honestly mind blowing.

@astraiarune3026

Жыл бұрын

Same!

@thewarden1398

Жыл бұрын

I know, she's really good at this. Shes definitely got an acting career ahead of her.

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

I don’t want one 😂 I just want bloody peace and to live an uneventful life A good actress with DID, a good actress without them - why I don’t have an Oscar by now I’ll never know

@AvaNightingale

Жыл бұрын

@@thewarden1398 cry about it lol

Oh wow!! That shot of eevee was like a jump scare SHES SO BIG I didn’t realise how long it’s been since she was born, congratulations on your new baby and being so happy you look incredible

@mosaic2476

Жыл бұрын

she started school this year!!! it was such a huge shock to see her in her uniform

No PTSD symptoms for a full year? That's an incredible feat after living with it for so long

even from the intro when you said “I’m finally not in survival mode” I began crying because I can’t even imagine how freeing that must be. I know this is something you’ve been working towards for so long and we’re all so happy for you. I also love this because sometimes when this is all you know integration and especially final fusion can seem very scary, but you seem so joyful and full and have shown that it isn’t scary like it seems. it has been incredible to have you as an example of what recovery can look like ❤

@Very-Uncorrect

Жыл бұрын

That sentence got to me too. As someone without PTSD or any other similar conditions, the idea of being in survival mode all the time sounds absolutely exhausting, and I'm so happy that she has healed.

Boring?? The exciting part is just starting! What could be more exciting than living a happy life as a whole, free from trauma!? Congratulations, Jess!

Hell yes Jess! Hell yes. I am ecstatic for you. It’s wonderful to see you so well and happy and like you said, recovered. It’s beautiful. And honestly, sometimes “boring” to others is sheer bliss for yourself. So keep being “boring”. I hope you stay well and happy, and that you, Gaz and your children really live every moment. You deserve it xxx

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️ honestly I’m so happy to finally be unremarkable and I’m 100% enjoying my little boring life 😂 truly! I only wish I had this normality years ago xx thank you for your kind wishes xx

@Zamiiz

Жыл бұрын

If being “boring” is personally bringing you happiness and peace than love on. Never ever give that up for anyone 🤎

So happy for you Jess. I knew almost nothing about DID before stumbling across your channel. You & the boys have had such great ways of explaining your condition. It's been eye opening & you've created so many allies. Thank you & good luck for the future 🎉

The boys were there when you needed them. I'm guessing they'd be so bloody proud of your journey and happy to see you as you are. X

We are a DID system that has experienced fusions before but is working towards functional multiplicity. Seeing you so happy after final fusion makes us happy. We're glad you achieved your goal of healing! Thank you so much for sharing your journey with DID. You inspire us. ❤

Am I going to miss the gang? Absolutely. But am I also infinitely happier that you're trauma free? Yeah. That's more important, I really am very happy for you and your family ☺️

Ngl it kinda brought tears to my eyes when you said you wanted to be more offline to experience this new life because it was nothing like you ever lived I'm so happy for you, I hope life brings you nothing but happiness

There's nothing boring about succeeding in your healing journey! Another color that's made from all colors is white, and at least for me, you've been a white beacon of hope in my own trauma journey. Congratulations and thank you!

You were the first person who made me feel ok for not WANTING final fusion. But i'm so so happy for you. Recovery looks different from person to person, but just the promise that one day i will no longer have to fight the symptoms every day is like a candle in a big, dark room. Thank you so much :]

As someone who's decided to live with healthy multiplicity, I could not be happier for you. I've watched your videos for years and it's been so informative and such a journey. Thank you so much for what you've done for those of us trying to figure ourselves out and for those who want to learn. Jeez, this is so emotional!! Wishing all of you the best of luck for your future!

just the intro alone has me in tears. i started watching you in high school and this channel was my first introduction into what DID was. i loved learning about your life and your alters and it really made me want to study psychology to help people with your disorder. i am so so happy and surprised to hear that you are finally able to function normally and be mentally healthy and happy. i’m so glad i thought of you randomly and decided to check your channel out after a little while. i know it’s been a year since this video came out, but i hope someday you’ll want to come back on here. have an amazing rest of your life, carefree and whole 🫶🏼

I know I’m super late seeing this but I just want to say I am so incredibly happy for you. I’ve been following your journey for years, and it has always been amazing seeing your progress! I am crying happy tears for you and I hope life is nothing but kind to you from here on out ❤ I can hear all of them in your voice and it is so beautiful. ❤ enjoy your life to the fullest Jess!

A YEAR without PTSD symptoms! Oh my gosh that’s so amazing, I’m so happy for you 🥹🫶

I'm so, so happy that you're feeling happy in your life. 1. Please feel free to take time with your pronouns and identity; no one is going to judge you for changing/exploring. 2. Welcome to being one :) /g 3. You're very, very brave for going through this whole journey-- my heart hurt when I was listening to Ollie being afraid, but I'm happy that you were all happy for it. Sorry if these thoughts don't make sense 😅 EDIT: I trust you that you feel like this is stable and here to stay-- just know that if you ever split, you won't have failed anyone

@MultiplicityAndMe

Жыл бұрын

This is such a beautiful affirmation and so incredibly kind and supportive 😭🥹 thank you x

@beesbrownies

Жыл бұрын

@@MultiplicityAndMe I'm so glad it came across in the right way! 😂 wishing you health and happiness

@cassierobertson5778

Жыл бұрын

This response is so beautiful. Thank you.

@tylerkim68

Жыл бұрын

I actually cried hearing Ollie 1) bc I got to watch him grow up 2) hearing him scared hurt my heart and 3) knowing that he’s still there and making up 1 whole Jess and being so happy for her

@beesbrownies

Жыл бұрын

@@cassierobertson5778

Jess. I’ve been following you for maybe 10 years now. (Is it possible it’s been that long??) you were the first person who ever taught me what DID was and helped me to dispel stigmas about it in my daily life when others misstated the disorder. It is so wonderful to see you recovered and integrated. I feel like you are truly a friend of mine, and I’ve been rooting for you for so long. I’m thrilled for you. Be well.

When you first used "I/we," when you showed that sense of wonder saying how the final color was made of those beautiful rainbow colors, and you saying how you haven't been online because you have been living your offline life.... Jess, you had me bawling out of joy for you and your journey of recovery. Thank you for sharing it.

Brown is such a warm and inviting and cozy color. it's the color of so much life, of rich chocolate happiness. there's no 'just' brown, and I'm so happy for you and seeing your journey progress this way

@mebeCJW

Жыл бұрын

I like to think brown is the colour of earth, and that's what we need to grow healthy plants!

@cosmicalist

Жыл бұрын

Hey! This might be weird to hear but I have OCD and PTSD, and for a very long time I have compulsively associated colors with traumatic memories or paranoid and intrusive thoughts. Brown has always been one with a negative connotation attached to it, so hearing it described like this has brought me so much joy and calmness! Thank you so much ♡

@Amsayy

Жыл бұрын

I love brown. It's one of my favourite colours. Brown is brilliant.

A friend of mine has DID,when two of the most fronting people integrated it was a weird mix of happy and sad. From one day to another it felt like I lost a two very dear friends. But I was insanely happy they healed even a slight part. While 2 friends were "gone" I gained another one who was indeed both person A and B and now we're having fun exploring the new likes and dislikes. And Jess, I feel the same here. Yeah I feel a weird sense of grief, I know all 5 of your are there, I can't wait to get see updates on how your "boring life" has changed for the good or bad. I'm sincerely happy for you

I feel that I'm in the process of fusion right now so this gives me a lot to look forward to. I can feel it happening and it's been 10+ years of work. Your journey has been truly transformational for me so thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Go and fully enjoy this new chapter of yours! It's beautiful to see this.

The part about not knowing you could be more whole than you already are really hit me. When I fused for the first time with one of my altars, I had no idea it was possible to feel more whole / more concrete. I've fused a few times since then and it's insane how much "smaller" that first me feels compared to who I am now after the fusions.

It's been a long time since I've seen the individual alters but I do think I can hear all the accents sort of shimmering through. A beautiful blend. A beautiful brown :) I'm incredibly happy for you and wish you all the best in what life has to offer for you! You genuinely seem so happy 😊

Learning that integration is a spectrum rather than a binary "either you are or you aren't" has been very helpful for us. When suffering from all of the painful symptoms that come with DID I just wanted final fusion before having had hardly any integration of dissociative barriers. I tried to push myself to that goal for a long time. My first fusion of alters was after I was no longer actively seeking it but instead had two co-hosts who were very close and learning to work together and eventually realized-- I feel no need to be apart from you, being separate feels like denying a part of myself, I'm ready to get rid of that separation. Since then, I've integrated many alters, and split off new ones with new challenges. For now I'm content to be part of a system that no longer has the same level of amnesia that I once did. I'm happy for your recovery and wish you well! Nice to meet the new Jess- and to see you all together.

I’ve followed your journey for a long time because you’ve made my husband’s DID so much easier to understand. I can still see all the parts in you. Ed’s style, Jamie’s confidence, Ollie’s playfulness, and Jake’s ease in front of the camera, all combined with Jess’s kindness and passion makes you shine even brighter as Jess. Congrats, luv! 💛

Your channel is where I started learning about what DID is actually like, years ago! I'm so happy that you're in such an amazing place now. I can't even begin to imagine how different that must feel. Wishing you continued peace, and strength for the hard times, and joy for all times!

We needed someone to talk about what it's like to live without DID - and guide the search for help, for recovery, within what is possible in each one's life. We'll be here for you, new Jess, and those who don't like it anymore or don't find it interesting can look elsewhere - but have you ever stopped to think that no one, to this day, has talked about what DID recovery looks like? It's great to know it's doing so well for you! Enjoy your life and make videos of these new discoveries when you have the time and desire! You can choose what you want to do and when you want to do it. Isn't that wonderful?

i’m a singlet, but as someone with PTSD, partially from the same thing you mention being a catalyst to your DID, im SO incredibly happy to see you having no symptoms for a year! i’ve been watching this channel for such a long time, and it’s amazing to see YOU as you are now, the bits of each part of you showing through still but now as one, and seemingly a much happier and lighter one. whoever this “boring” new you is, i’m so excited to see it! boring is good in a life filled with so much trauma and chaos and differences. i also can’t believe how big the little one has gotten!! and to be a big sister now!! i’m so happy for all of you, and wether this is permanent or not, take this time to just be YOU. i’m so happy for you, i hope you’re living the life you always wanted to one day experience

@lightworthy

Жыл бұрын

@@adk7165 yes i am, because in the space when talking about DID that’s a common term used for people without these types of dissociative disorders where there’s multiple identities in one body. it’s one word in a sentence that easily got the point that i don’t have DID, but DO have PTSD. if you’re that mad about a shorthand word used in a more niche community, maybe you should go touch grass and get off the internet, where that kind of speech is everywhere. even you saying to go touch grass is a community shorthand.

@AvaNightingale

Жыл бұрын

@@adk7165 you're an "I", a singular person, what better term is there exactly? So defensive and pressed lol

With paint, all the colours together are brown, but in light, all the colours together are white. When you put the light through a prism, its a rainbow. You have a rainbow inside of you.

If you're comfortable talking about it, we would absolutely love to hear more about what final fusion has been like for you! What happened to your inner world? Did your gender/sexuality change after fusion? Have your likes and dislikes changed after fusion? Sending you lots of love!

4:13 We can tell! You don't sound like Jess did before. I very clearly can hear bits of Jake in your accent and Jamie in your intonation. I'm so happy for you! You deserve to be thriving!

“New Jess” seems a lot more confident and happy. I can see everyone is alive and well in you. So happy for you. 💕

way more than a KZread channel, you gave thousands of people with and without DID a beautifully, intelligent, well mannered and well exposed insight of what it is like to live with DID and you have such an enormous positive influence in reversing the stigma. I admire you SO MUCH, I am SO HERE for your recovery! I couldn't stop talking to my partner about how immensely happy I am for you and your beautiful, beautiful, beautiful family. I'm all teary eyed watching this and these are solely happy tears, so different from the ones I cried all the times you shared your trauma and the hardships it gave you. I admire you as a person, I admire you as a parent, I admire you as a mental health professional and mostly I admire you as someone who had the courage to face your trauma and recover and show others that, despite not being easy, it sure is possible. you're amazing and you deserve the world ❤️

@SsjDeBusk

Жыл бұрын

preach same 100%

I'm just glad that you are happy. "Boring brown" is such a bad term for "okay and happier than ever." And it makes me so happy. I hope my friend will also reach that point at some point^^ Everyone deserves that

We're so happy for you! 💕 You've been our inspiration for hope and work on ourselves and as activist. We're were afraid of final fusion, until last year that our last alter was a partial fusion between our persecutor and our host, which we thought impossible, and from then we understood it's possible and it wasn't as scary. So our female adults are now fusing because we lost fear from it. We thank YOU for all you've done for the community (and indirectly for us). You deserve a thriving and wonderful life 💕

The JOY I can hear in your voice when you know you won’t have to miss another moment with your babies made my heart so full! Shine on, fellow Mama. I am so happy you get to create family memories all together. 💜

I’m so happy for you. Crying happy tears and celebrating your healing and freedom from trauma. You deserve so much happiness. ❤ thank you for sharing your experiences

as a long time viewer of your channel, it is such an incredible honor to witness a snippet of your joy as a fully fused person....you are such a bright light, you always have been, and to see you like this is so amazing. seeing someone who has dealt with things similar to myself not only make it out on the other side but also do so so wonderfully is a massive beacon of hope. lots of love to all of you, your family, and everyone who watches. ❤

Congratulations, such fantastic news. I love the way you explained your blend through a rainbow of colour coming together with your daughter - a beautiful clear depiction of who you are now and the rainbow collective you were. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. X

Absolutely amazing! I am so happy for you! How can this not be a good thing? No trauma. No PTSD. No dissociating. No communication gaps. No memory gaps. Not worrying about when you might switch. Not worrying what happened when you aren't fronting. I have never met an integrated system. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

i know this video is rather old now, but i watched your videos as a teen and always wondered about DID…the symptoms, the lifestyle, and the experience. now, as an adult, knowing that i’ve HAD DID this whole time, i thought of you and your system (as i often do and have, especially since this ground-breaking, earth-shattering discovery) and happened to check on your channel. i am so unbelievably proud of you for all of the hard work you’ve done and every single baby step that it took to run those miles uphill to not only integrate but fuse, even. thank you for sharing your experience with us, and thank you for always being amazingly kind and patient with your fan base and the dissociative community. our whole system (even the more scroogey persecutors…bah humbug) loves you dearly and we are so grateful for the guidance and warmth you’ve provided to not only us who are commenting, but the whole of our little internal community. congrats on the new life and the new baby, mama!!! 🎉💖

As someone in specialist therapy now, I just want to say you ARE amazing. You provide so much hope and joy, and I hope we keep hearing from you. But if not, that's okay too, because it's everything to see you as happy as you are now. Thank you so much for all you've done. You're inspirational and I hope you know that 💕💕💕

I had the same experience with memory, im like how did I function like that?? I understand why I could barely hold a job before bc even after being trained time and time again I didn’t retain anything and people would get frustrated with me, it’s so much easier to work now. I will not be bored watching your new videos!! I will still love them just as much 💛 hoping to still see content every once in a while but also so glad you’re able to live your life IRL. Lots of love

“I hope you’ll stay” - I’ll stay ❤️ I loved all of you and now I get to see all of you all at once for the first time! Can’t even begin to explain how happy I am for you Jess. I’ve been watching you for years and the joy and celebration you’re feeling I’m sure is felt by us all ❤️ so proud of the hard work that you’ve put into your healing. You’re amazing

Now Jess and the boys become one smoothies! you also gave us all a better understanding towards DID which will probably help me a lot in helping others as a future psychologist! Im so proud of you and wishing you and your family a happy live ahead!

You were my first exposure to D.I.D. I have been fascinated with the psychology of it ever since. Because of the brightness and warmth you brought, I was able to view other systems in a positive light, even if their alters were not. You comforted my thoughts on my own coping mechanisms and brought to light how normal and non threatening mine really is. I will always be grateful to your kindness, your openness, and hope your life is filled with all the joys and successes that this world has waiting for you. Thank you.💛💙💜💚❤💖

Who knew this end was in sight?! Congrats on feeling well. FYI it’s ok to stick around even if you are singular now! We are still keen to hear from you.

This is the first time I've heard of this completion with someone having DID. It's like finishing a maze or beating a full-scale RPG game and I'm here for it😆🔥🔥 W journey💯💯💯

I used to watch you years ago but for some reason stopped seeing your content. This just popped up in my recommended and I just wanted to say I am so happy to see you thriving and a huge congratulations on the birth of your baby! xx

So inspirational. Just had a therapy session this afternoon where I was talking about how any kind of team work between parts feels impossible, let alone fusion, and I was wondering if recovery was ever possible for anyone. And here you are! Congratulations on your hard work

Thank you Jess. I learned I was a system through you. It was about 7 years ago, and while my journey is dramatically different, you helped me realize why I was "missing time", and why I would make very poor decisions at work, only to reflect back and realize a little had come out and was forced to make a choice (and chose wrong). I lost my chance at managing a college pub because a little was around before I knew we were even multiple. You helped us find answers. And from you sharing the Ctad stuff, I was able to look for something similar in Canada. You gave me the jumping off points. Thank you

FINALLY! This is the type of documentation, awareness, journey sharing with this disorder that people need. Especially the DID community. Congratulations on your healing and continue to love life being a mama and wife. ♥️ so happy for you 🥹

I still see everyone in your gestures and enthusiasm! You finally get to enjoy Ollie's innocent and Jake's kindness, etc. They were all you... But now you get to be you as a whole. Now the world gets to experience of all your best parts at the same time... Not in pieces. Jess as a whole is awesome! I love seeing you so happy!!

Oh my god I haven't watched you since your eldest was born but I'm overjoyed that the first video of yours that popped up is this video. Beyond happy for you ❤️

I'm so happy for you! I do wonder, do you now remember all of your alters' memories? Not just childhood, but afterwards, when you were in university or working or filming KZread videos or even cooking? All of those memories of your alters fronting, what they were thinking, seeing, etc.?

I’m so happy you’ve gotten where you want to be.

This is such an awesome video! I found your channel several years ago and ended up doing a bit of a deep dive into DID, learning as much as I could about it. I've learned a lot from you and several other great DID channels. I appreciate everything you have shared over the years and how educational your videos have been as I know I'm not the only one who learned a lot from you. It's so fantastic to see that you have been able to heal and grow so much since the first time I discovered your channel, it really feels like it's come full circle. Thank you so much and I hope you have a fantastic time enjoying every moment of your life!!!!

As much as this sort of journey scares and confuses us right now in OUR position... we are extremely happy for you and so proud of you and your system for this wonderful step in your recovery and well-being! Also, we want to thank you for so so much that you've done for us, for all systems, and for the entire DID community on your time on KZread. It's LITERALLY been life-changing for us in processing and accepting our own diagnosis and process of accepting each other. Thank you, from the bottom of all of our hearts, our collective heart, for all your hard work. We love you and appreciate everything you've done, and we wish you nothing but the most amazing life you can possibly have!

I am very happy for you. Like many others, I was concerned by your extended absence from YT. But, I understood that there are parts of your journey your viewers simply cannot share. And likely some parts we could not bear. Thank you, for sharing your experiences, and for helping us to see things society has hidden for far too long. Your baby is beautiful, as are you. May you both find happiness and continued health, as you move forward from here. 🤠👍

I've got tears in my eyes. I'm so happy you achieved final fusion. You're getting to experiencing life in a way that some people take for granted-living a life without trauma. I realised a while ago that boring is beautiful, as weird as that sounds. I woke up a few days ago, and everything was so...quiet. The silence must be odd after so many years.

I only hope I get there. My abuser died. I feel very different, much safer

I can't express how much this video pushes me to get from one day to another. We do something like a 'temporary' fusion for 30 seconds a day to get used to the feeling, just like coexisting like one human with all of us being conscious, and honestly it gives me great hope to hear that recovering is possible. I honestly can't remember a time I wasn't in pieces, and feeling like 'a whole pizza and not just a slice'. That's how Darjeeling (💛) describes it, not meant to offend! Hypnotherapy for 4 months with the right person did more than 3 years with a different therapist. You really just need to find you the right person. One day, we're gonna be a whole again.

I watch your channel since 2017, it was my first contact with that DID is, and it's so beautiful so get to see you have such an amazing healing journey!!! I wish you all the love in your new life a singlet

This is the best video you could have ever given to us. Thank you so much for sharing such wonderful news, I hope you can keep enjoying your life to the fullest, lots of love and happy wishes 🙌💕

It's been such a privilege to be able to witness the parts of your journey that you've shared with us. This video always makes me so emotional because I'm so happy for you. You showed me and others that recovery from trauma and DID is possible and the impact that has is so profound I can't put it into words other than thank you and I hope that the rest of your journey in life is full of all the happiness and peace and good things you deserve. Also, you're an absolute legend and a badass, you could never be boring, you're just healthier and happier and that's a wonderful thing that should be celebrated. You rock, Jess. ❤️

You deserved this. Its been a healing process and im happy you're finally coming to your self ! You deserve this happiness

Wow first off, cant believe how much Eevee has grown! And congrats on Baby no 2! And congrats on the fusion!! This Jess is definitely a different Jess that I’ve seen before and I can see mannerisms of all the boys in you. SO happy for you ❤️ Edit: further in the video, sooo happy you have had no trauma for a year! Hearing your episode in one of your previous videos really stuck with me

So incredibly happy for you all and your new fully combined life. Welcome Jess 2.0 you deserve everything you’ve achieved. Much love 😘

Wow Jess, we are so so so happy for you!! We've been following your DID journey for a number of years now and have always found your videos to be incredibly validating and informative, you and your system had always made us feel so understood and have given us a world of knowledge through the videos each of you have uploaded over the last 10 years. We've been thinking about you all so much recently, wondering how you all have been doing not only with each other but with your families journey as it's been growing. To see this video has brought such joy to us and a genuine tear to our eye, we really hope you see our comment and feel the love we are sending you. We see your pure joy, love and gratitude about reaching final fusion and we truly couldn't be more happy for you to achieve integration. Thank you for updating your channel with this stage in your journey and an even bigger thank you for never giving up on yourselves so that you have been able to reach such a healing stage. You and your parts have taught us more than we can put into words and for that we cannot be more grateful, thank you for sharing your journey with the world, we will forever be grateful to have been one of your little puzzles and pieces. Congratulations, Jess 🎉🎉 😊 Please if you do see our comment, give our love to Gaz and your beautiful family together. Many thanks, congratulations and much love from over here in Australia, Mia and the Team💜💚🎉🎉🎉

I've been watching your content since I was in high school and it's the reason why I can now support my own friend who has did. I've loved this channel so much and so happy for you now! :)