Glad you caught the show. Let me know what you think in the comments and I’ll reply as soon as I can. If you’re a regular listener and would like to show your support and gain access to exclusive talks with some incredible minds, check out the Coleman Unfiltered membership here: bit.ly/3B1GAlS

As one of three male teachers in an elementary school with fifty, the idea that we need more men is an understatement.

@herbertrichard614

Жыл бұрын

Thanks. Do you think that a hysterical fear of child sex abuse in our society discourages men from pursuing K-12 teaching, and administrators from hiring men in those jobs?

@lusciandormaden2670

Жыл бұрын

@@herbertrichard614 Sure. I know I have some trepidation about giving kids hugs, showing affection because I don’t want it taken the wrong way. I know I’m one pissed off parent away from having my career destroyed because of an allegation. It’s also the culture of school. Feelings, feelings, care, safety, it’s maddening as a man to be in an environment that elevates emotions above anything else. Are feelings important, yes, but not THE most important thing in a school. Not by a long shot. As an example, our “School Promise” has four bullet points, only one part of one of the points is related to academics. The other 3 and 1/2 points are related to feelings, emotions, and safety. Academics are an afterthought. It is frustrating as a man.

@healthylifestyle3427

Жыл бұрын

​@@lusciandormaden2670 man and therapist here. I want to add a bit to this. I think what you mean is that the way feelings and safety is understood and implemented at school is wacko. To this I would agree. However, the idea behind it is not: there is no possible teaching of anything if people (kids or adults) dont feel safe. That's a brain thing, we cant outsmart our brains. If I had a say in the conversation, I would get people to understand that there is a world of difference between saying kids are entitled to study in a safe environment and 'making them feel safe'. Instead, I would work on kids knowing how to make themselves and their classmates safe and why it matters. Same with emotions: emotions in general, super important. Adults taking care of children feelings all the time, insanity. We need to teach kids what emotions are, how to express them, how to listen to other people's emotion, how our actions have consequences for ourselves and others, what repair after rupture looks and feels like etc. The goal not being for kids to feel safe all the time or 'be heard' all the time. It's madness and transformed them in entitled narcissists spectators of life. The goal is to have emotionally capable young folks who want to contribute to society because they feel supported by it, feel assertive enough to have their voice heard and know when to shut up, expect difficulties so they don't stop when things get difficult, etc. Maybe I should get involved... I really dont want to

@lusciandormaden2670

Жыл бұрын

@@healthylifestyle3427 I agree. These things themselves are not bad and in fact taking them into account when teaching helps kids learn and grow, which is the whole point. Making it your primary focus to the point where kids are neurotic basket cases does more harm than good. Reading "The Coddling of the American Mind" really solidified that idea for me. Stay out unless your heart is in it to help kids. It is very frustrating dealing with so much safetyism, but I do it because teaching is the best job.

@andrewfox368

Жыл бұрын

@@lusciandormaden2670 Yes. As a male teacher you often want to teach the value of “it’s not your problem” or “resolve your own conflict” when it feels appropriate, but there’s a lot of pressure to resolve every negative experience immediately. And there’s also a general hostility to maleness in those spaces that gets exhausting.

It’s great to hear a conversation that doesn’t follow the propaganda mainstream media narrative

Wow this episode is incredible, literally giving me goosebumps, it’s sheds a complex light on so many issues! One aspect that comes to mind is the black boy suspension rate and discipline in school, what if we had more black male teachers, maybe that would really transform the way we treat this issue.

@wendellbabin6457

22 күн бұрын

Have to finish High School first. And those that do, are going for FAR better PAYING and respected careers. And why not if you have to spend the best years of your life stuck in class?

@wendellbabin6457

22 күн бұрын

1:10:21 Black man in a suit? Or work clothes? Or a black man who ducks into shadows and wearing a hoodie and gloves in the middle of summer? Or ANY man dressed and acting in that way. I think I saw some black comedian YEARS ago comment something like not because of black, because you're acting suspicious! I would cross the damned street too! I ain't giving you MY watch! Might have been Def Comedy Jam or Showtime at the Apollo back in the day. Audience was definitely NOT some Conservative Fund Raiser whatever show it was.

As someone who has spent the last 18 years in a public school setting I have recognized many of the issues you address in this conversation myself. The current system is failing our young men at a shocking rate. Glad to see that at least some experts are trying to address this.

Men being a breadwinner is not solely due to socialization. Men have been breadwinners for thousands of years by way of human evolution. Even today, women are still attracted to the things that make men good providers: high income, resources and status.

I'm a man who switched into nursing as a mid-life career change, and I can say that one of the reasons people don't go into it is that it is hard, VERY hard. The work is extremely stressful, the demands on productivity very high, the need for psychological and emotional labor also high, the intellectual demands are very high, the incidence of abusive or assaultive patients higher than most other jobs short of corrections officers, and most hospital environments are extremely clique based, where you can get a talking to by HR for both being too introverted and sharing too much with your peers. I work in a great hospital, but I've had clinicals in some where I really would not want to work. In addition, part of the reason it's hard to convince people that males deserve to be helped by males in healthcare is that there are so few males, but also that the attitude among healthcare workers when a man says he would prefer a man is to have that dismissed specifically because we are understaffed and there are fewer of us, but the moment a woman says she'd prefer a woman that it is respected. In fact I'm constantly on the watch for signals that a female patient might be uncomfortable with a male nurse and unwilling to say anything, so that I can bring it up and trade a patient (which is rare), but I have never once been asked as a nurse or nursing assistant to specifically care for a male client unless the female nurse found them creepy and had to perform an intervention involving their genitals or face shaving, but have been told by a great many male patients how relieved they were to finally talk with a man "who understands".

@voice_from_pizza

Жыл бұрын

Males breaking into nursing seems almost impossible until we go through some serious trial by fire and cultural updates in the psychology surrounding what a caretaker is. At the same level of the military considering what a soldier (or fighter) is.

I'm glad he is making the podcasts of you and Chris Williamson. While there are a few men who rule the world, the majority of men are oppressed.

@aquarius-woman5364

Жыл бұрын

You mean losers.

This content was absolutely amazing! As a black woman who is educated, I have seen the struggles of our black men being overlooked in our society. Wanting to be upwardly mobile, but having very few or no opportunities for grants and scholarships to start businesses or go to higher education. I’ve personally seen where The grants are only for women and girls of all races. This should not be! just because I love my daughters, doesn’t mean I don’t love my son, and want him to do well in his life. More opportunities should be available for men, especially black men. I personally believe that the pendulum has swung so far to the other extreme, as to make a disadvantage to men and boys in such a way to make them feel discouraged and unappreciated in society. We need Godly male leadership, back in its rightful place.

@aquarius-woman5364

Жыл бұрын

Why can't black men create their own opportunities? If black women could make the journey from slavery why can't black men? There are more rich black men then black women, why aren't they helping each other?

@sydneyevans2637

Жыл бұрын

@@aquarius-woman5364 They are busy competing. Men seem to be wired to compete rather than work together as a group to solve common problems or achieve common goals. I did see a documentary some years back where a man started a work shop open to men to teach them vocational skills. It was a great eye opener for me. Men teaching men with no pressure of a power/ hierarchy structure.

@juana7035

11 ай бұрын

@aquarius-woman5364 in the world of government contracting, Black men are rewarded significantly more contracts than Black women. This provides Black men a bigger opportunity to build wealth.

@soundsaboutright---

2 ай бұрын

This has been the case for bm for a long time, yet it didn't inspire him to write a book. It wasn't until it hit his community that he cared. Please realize when a group is being pandered to

Thank You for writing in your book , Mr Reeves ,that documents the confusion in connection to employment advancement and educational success for boys and men today. Please continue your great work.

I’m a male teacher having taught in multiple settings and with many age groups. This conversation is true to my experience. I have a son, knowing the school system was what he’d soon face. I took steps to prepare him. When he was very young, I trained him to sit in a desk and write. We read books daily and in abundance. I found numerous extracurricular activities I could afford. I’ve sought male mentors for him to teach my son their skill sets. He can now handle school and does well but I think back, and I did this mostly FOR school. There’s benefits, but it’s took a lot of work. His peers all struggle and many have been diagnosed by their teachers as having a learning disability.

Unionized dockworker jobs in southern California ( Los Angeles, Long Beach ) are prized jobs. With one promotion, you are making $24-32/hour and have excellent health benefits. Unfortunately, that fact is known across Southern California. The people who get those jobs there are the sons & daughters of workers, friends of dockworkers, and few military veterans. My friends & I applied every year for several years after high school. All we got was a confirmation postcard that they received our applications. We got stuck in the 90's working in retail/ fast food. One of us had kids, so he had to increase his income fast. Instead of selling gray market cigarettes, he got pest control certificates and went 50 hours a week spraying cancer causing chemicals at restaurants, crawlspaces, and dilapidated apartments.

There is a pay gap. In a recent 2022 study of 2000 urban communities, Single Women make more money than Single Men by 8% annually. Moreover, they have a higher home ownership rate over men by 27% and even higher in many cosmopolitan markets. In no market within the US do single men have higher home ownership rates than do single women.

@hedgefundphil

Жыл бұрын

women are a protected class men are not.

@mattg4965

Жыл бұрын

I don’t doubt, but source? That’s quite shocking

@lazysundayz

Жыл бұрын

@@mattg4965 not shocked ? seems like a kind of fantasy land stat to me. I'm open to consider anything based on actual research... I am not surprised you got zero reply here.

@enhancedutility266

Жыл бұрын

@@mattg4965 Bloomberg

This is an important issue across the whole Western world, particularly in industrialized nations.

Indiference towards the struggles of Boys and Men will not help to overcome current challenges of discipline inside the classroom in the state of Pennsylvania City of Philadelphia. Finally Indiference is also a national Challenge.

Excellent conversation! thank you both

"The difference between a man and a boy is that a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman." -- Jack Handey Sorry. Could not resist. :-D

Great and much needed conversation!

That was amazing, please keep doing these

The discussion on intersectionality was brilliant. I had not thought about it in that particular way. Thank you.

Bruh, this conversation is LONG OVERDUE!!!

I am interested in this thesis as a feminist, mother of two sons and someone who has become 'gender critical' in relation to the extreme LGBTQ++++++ ideology which is used in some arenas to attack women's sex-based rights. I am beginning to wonder whether there is a connection between the failure of men and boys to maintain a status in society alongside women and girls (as outlined by Ric Reeves) and the ideology that insists biological reality is a social construct so a man is a woman should he declare himself to be one.

@grahamstrouse1165

Жыл бұрын

Humans, like most social animals, are sexually dimorphic. Trying to socially engineer things that are wired into our DNA is always going to be a recipe for failure.

@patstedmanspolishpassport9264

Жыл бұрын

What does it objectively mean to be a feminist. What's the definition?

Richard brings an incredibly refreshing attitude to these topics that seems to be in genuine good faith. Thanks for having this conversation.

Fantastic conversation. 🤝

Having been a teacher and holding this view for a long time, I am now convinced it would be an appropriate strategy to help boys catch up to girls in cognitive development in the early years of school. I am referring to learning through play. Extend the school years where children develop through structured play. Delay subject matter. Structured play can build the foundation for more cognitively demanding subjects for both boys and girls. I think a byproduct for the boys would be a sense of confidence that may decrease boredom and the need to act out. Having boys start their schooling later just does not sound right to me. This would not mean more years of schooling because readiness for a more structured curriculum would have been enhanced.

Great conversation

Important conversation on so many levels. As a life log feminist, I've tried to think about how gender roles/expectations harm boys and men. I really appreciate Reeves cautioning us about a ZERO-SUM GAME mindset---- which is relevant in more contexts than simply gender. Also: I've had some of the SAME critique of "intersectionality" for some time. It's a concept that can be useful but, is too often oversimplified to the point of cliches that are NOT useful for either deeper (& more COMPLEX/NUANCED) understanding, much less problem-solving. Thank you for this exchange!!!

The fall off of boys in school is multifaceted, but the number 1 reason is discipline. As a former teacher I can attest to the FACT that students aren't held accountable for their actions in elementary/middle/high school. There's zero actual consequences for bad behavior these days.

@kathlenes6947

28 күн бұрын

Could a boys outward behaviours be confused with bad behaviours?

@TradeWinds66

27 күн бұрын

@@kathlenes6947 define "outward behaviors".

I think something that would help everyone is making sure that traditionally female jobs are well paid. Nurses, teaching, childcare, service jobs and elder care are chronically underpaid, essential and there’s a shortage of workers. This would make these careers more attractive to men and support women as well. We may be less likely to see men as bread winners now, but I think they are still more likely to ask, “can I support a family with this job?” “Pink collar” jobs have always been lower paid because they were not expected to support a household. They were seen as “pin money.” Society needs these roles filled well and they could help replace manufacturing jobs….if they were better paid and had job security.

@keyboarddancers7751

Жыл бұрын

I think we can confidently predict that pay will not go up significantly in those jobs any time soon. Maybe we should make trades like electrician, plumber, carpenter, mechanic, engineer etc (none of which in day to day practical reality actually demand huge physical strength) more attractive to women. Having said that, I've been deeply, deeply worried for a very long time indeed that in my field, social work (no way can you say that's a poverty salary), only 15% of the workforce is male!

@priyavoothuluru2375

Жыл бұрын

I was just combing through the comments looking for this point of view. If they make HEAL jobs better paid, you would reduce the shortage in these fields by attracting more men and women. Unlike Keyboard Dancers opinion, I think people will take any job that pays well and provides a purpose. I can see why men are needed as nurses and there was a conversation about it by the author and Coleman. I can see the same with teachers, what better purpose than educating the young and getting paid a "decent" wage.

At a conference on male psychology (and how often is that considered) a presentation was in how family courts contribute to male suicide. The pain and despair of loosing your children is killing men. Let alone the mental health , drink and drug use and incapacity to function aspect.....

@deadsetanime7102

Жыл бұрын

@@davebryant8050 What the hell are you talking about? I lost both my kids to divorce in 2021.

@ng38477

7 ай бұрын

@@deadsetanime7102 That's not how it works and you probably did something you shouldn't have. You don't lose custody of kids like that. They would have to make a case that YOU are unfit parent and then prove that point.

@deadsetanime7102

7 ай бұрын

@@ng38477 You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

@soundsaboutright---

2 ай бұрын

Yeah that's interesting. The thing is men made these laws for the most part. So if men feel a way about it, they should probably take it up with other men. The thing is, this isn't reality for most men. Most men are absent because they choose to be

@nnadiblaise

2 ай бұрын

​@@soundsaboutright---and some how we live in some Patriachy where Men create situations not only is to their disfavour but to the Favour of the women they sought to oppress?

Fabulous content.

Indifference concerning the struggles of Boys and Men can not become acceptable. Title nine was passed on Friday June 23, 1972 The struggle of Boys and Men begins at that time until now . The law of averages does not lie about women are interested in people, Men are interested in things . However some men are interested in people. Some women are interested in things. Please understand that I have been trying to get this situation inside my figurative heart.

@Tmichellefit

2 ай бұрын

can you explain how women simply being allowed to go to school impedes men's ability to go to school and do well?

Sometimes it is OK to be angry and cynical. Thank you for speaking out against the black female lobby.

@krissifadwa

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, like how sometimes, revenge has a place and a role in our world.

@kentklostreich95

Жыл бұрын

@@krissifadwa Criticism is different from revenge.

13.02 min mark, male only schools taught by men. Would work as well

@enhancedutility266

Жыл бұрын

Right and offer more Athletics like boxing Brazilian jiu jitsu in high school sports

Boys need educational subjects that sets their hearts on fire because they will want to stay in school such as math . Enjoyable learning makes higher test scores possible . Genuine dialogue matters in connection to English writing development process. Boring Boys with books that are not interesting to them is not helpful in a classroom situation . Do not bore boys out of their minds . Enjoyable learning matters . 22:19

*Can the gender academic performance gap not be at least partially explained by more men becoming more autodidactic and seeking education online? I know that platforms like KZread have mostly male audiences, and men listen to podcasts more than women, I wonder if platforms like skillshare and the like have more male customers?*

@lancewalker2595

Жыл бұрын

That is a good point. Someone should definitely look into that, I know that's been my path.

@joelharvey

Жыл бұрын

@@lancewalker2595 Me too. I didn't even finish high school, let alone go to university, but I don't think my education has suffered at all. I have practically all the educational resources I could ever want at my finger tips and it costs almost nothing.

@lancewalker2595

Жыл бұрын

@@joelharvey I wonder if the economic value of a college education has decreased in proportion to the increasing female over-representation? Just a thought. Maybe a political science degree does not a high paid worker make. Maybe college is mostly a scam? I didn't go to university, I decided to start reading books and go get a job, I've been making $80,000 a year doing software development since I was 18. Maybe... just maybe... people don't need to go to college.

@joelharvey

Жыл бұрын

@@lancewalker2595 Well yea, the scope of university degrees has broadened but not necessarily in a way that corresponds with the skills demanded in the marketplace. As far as I'm concerned, if it isn't STEM, law or medical school, it isn't really worth paying for. All these other subjects that don't equip students with marketable skills can essentially be replaced by reading books and listening to podcasts. It would be better if large companies had apprenticeship programs that trained people for real jobs.

@sportscarman5

Жыл бұрын

That's a real possibility. But even if that is the case, we need men and male perspectives in the areas that have completely been overtaken by women. Teacher is a good example. You have to have a degree to do that. And we absolutely need male teachers, there has to be male role models in that system.

I was surprised Hughes didn't demonstrate his literary capital by asking whether the book's title was refering to Steinbeck's brilliant novel with a similar title.

Exactly. I'm a commercial carpenter/ residential trim carpenter/ welder/ ironworker. I'm successful in life. As a whole. I'm not perfect. Guys should have technical schools . I have such a love, passion and such deep meaning from technical schools. Blue collar jobs, it's so so so important that if young men are lost in the world. Blue collar jobs is a beacon of hope. So much richness besides the actual job come from this world

@herbertrichard614

Жыл бұрын

Right. Why does 12 years of general education turn people out into the world without a marketable skill.? After grade 10, children, based on aptitude, could be steered into technical education.

@jmoney9494

Жыл бұрын

@@herbertrichard614 because it would be expensive unfortunately

When Richard talked about conservatives not wanting to use government funding to address social issues and he said liberals are not yet convinced about the problem, you did not need to do any liberal bashing. It is the bashing and divide that has got us where we are today. We should move forward. What do you say?

How can the educational gap of male and female students be reduced ? What can be done to make the learning process more enjoyable on an daily basis ?

@lolivingston6827

Жыл бұрын

The gap is Women are 80% of teachers and Male bashing culture. As a Former SW. It's only going to get worse.

@matthewryan3798

8 ай бұрын

Public schools (private schools in UK) weren't set up to be educational, they were meant to reinforce the state religion. So the educational gap between female and male students reflects that female students automatically learn, while male students don't. For male students to keep up with female ones, male students need to learn as males do, not like females; males students need to use proper learning methods to actually learn and not just commit something to memorization.

Coleman, you might be right that some people will be upset about this conversation. I believe part of the upset may be partly an emotional response to you and perhaps a lack of trust from them to you. That is possible. I do not know that for sure However, as a Nigerian-American feminist man in California, with my own business where i employ people, i am concerned that the guys that work for me should have the ability to rise through the ranks and make enough money that nakes them viable candidates for a life partner. This is definitely a problem. I do encourage them to go into their advanced education, save to purchase a home and make life affirming family commitments. I am of course very pragmatic in doing this. Over the years, i have had more women do amazing job in comparison to men in my business. Although at this very point in my business, the men are doing great and progressing. I continue to encourage both the men and women in my business to reach their full potential if they are working for me or not. Thriving men will contribute to society, while non thriving men are more prone to doing real damage to society. We are all in this together. Listening to this video interview, i am more committed to helping men be better. I'll keep doing my part. All of us should care.

Another KZreadr pointed out that this man compared working class men to black men 😂. They don’t even see BM as equal men in general. Apparently they’re on the same level as poor people.

So I am going to ask with question with the best intentions: why didn't men keep up? Richard talks about how "the breaks were taken off women" and then they soared you know, but men already had such a huge lead, why didn't they adapt? I understand the raw numbers, I understand that this is a thing that is happening, but I feel like the why was never answered. (Save for the slower brain development comment)

@juliebella1221

Жыл бұрын

Men were never smarter. Back in the day, all these now Boomer or older men all the way to the 90s and probably today, men were given "Gentlemen's C" to pass in school. If you played sports, they passed you even if you couldn't read. Girl's, while bleeding once a month, had to get a B+ in college to pass the same classes. In my Gram's day, all the women said, "men only want a nurse or a purse." Women were forced to go into the kitchens, we ran all the factories and made everything, men were at war for years. To make men SEEM needed, they denied women equal pay or even a job at all and gave women all the hard jobs for almost no pay, teacher, nurse, maid, cook, nanny, wife. Everyone wants a family if they can be the man. It's a running joke now for over 100 years. So many men say hell is coming back to Earth a woman. They were NEVER smarter dear, just given a handicap, like in sports, to make them SEEM smarter. Don't forget how many disobedient wives doctors and husbands were allowed to give Mommy's Little Helpers to and outright drop them off at the looney bin for hysteria, "thinking too much" and "wanting too much" sex on the charge sheets from those "good ole days, the 50s and 60s." Men NEVER mention this when saying it was better back then. NOPE. Women wanted to stay in the factories, electrician jobs, plumbers, etc. They were FORCED to give them to men and the bosses said the women did it better and it took two men for every woman replaced. Don't forget, women weren't allowed bank accounts or credit cards back then or custody of their children. We only have safety standards like we do because so many women workers died. Look up the Triangle Waist Shirt Factory Fire. And don't forget we do all that men do while bleeding and carrying and feeding babies. They have zero pain. We lose 10 years of our life to periods and pain. They already have that advantage and it hits us in our childhood, they get a blissful childhood compared to being in a little girls body. And still they can't keep up and still they whine.

@ninagrace-lee8323

Жыл бұрын

Giving women opportunities disincentivized men. Women were held back so men could be held up. Each man was given his own household to rule, including a wife. Even poor men. Even ugly men. Even abusive men. They all got a woman to rule and feel superior to. That was the social contract. The drawback: those same men would get drafted for rich men’s war if need be We haven’t had a draft in a long time. We also decided women can and should be able to work whatever job they need to. The increased competition in the workforce made men think subconsciously “well if I can’t be in control and dominate women, why try? What’s the point of the whole system?” We see this mindset prevalent today, where women (coded as feminism) get the blame for male lack of achievement. But notably there’s been no legislative push to marginalize men at all. Many of the lowest paying fields are female dominant. And women are flooding higher education to qualify for the same jobs men can get with a mere certification and a nod from a colleague internally.

@matthewryan3798

8 ай бұрын

The likely reason is due to men not knowing how to act and think like women. As men in the past were raised as boys, to think and act like a woman, by religion instilling the thinking of a woman, the reversion of religion to just being a religion, means that men are increasingly having a difficult time doing what men in the past were easily able to do. In men in the past, literally and metaphorically building a world based on women's thinking, men deprived of the Thinking of a Woman were set up to fail.

Interesting conversation but some quite ignorant comments about ADHD. The notion that boys with ADHD ‘just aren’t academic’ is dangerous and wrong.

Consider that the field of andrology hardly exists at all. Men get directed to urologists, even though nothing about urology may be their issue or concern.

Hi Coleman, amazing conversation! Thank you! Could it also be that the way we’re stuck in the not useful mirage of romanticism as it pertains to male/female relationships - we’re also stuck in certain behavior buckets- prescribed roles and attributes is where the ‘epithet acting white’ comes in- bc it seems to me that the US is a special case in using this type of ‘bucketing’- other european countries who were not imperialistic and don’t have the history of oppression- that epithet of ‘acting white’- does not exist- so in a sense the narrative- the story needs to be rewritten- in the psyche of African- Americans from the cradle on- for that the parents/milieu need to have the consciousness of a different story(I might sound a bit naive as an European baffled by the atributive role assumptions in the US)

"Equalization of culture" doesn't seem right. The alternative is perhaps less distasteful framing for some (if you place a priori value judgements on these things), but descriptively more accurate. Not only that, but "equalization" may appear more sensible to a man who has trouble recognizing more feminine styles of social hierarchy and their maintenance. Both sexes are very much human in their proclivities. More masculine social spaces have been under systematic attack, even when it comes to completely voluntary, non-work related activity. That's not a sign of equalization. That's a power move. It would be different if the sexes respected their respective ways of doings things, rather than sought to dominate each other to the point of having cultural top-down control. It all boils down to the legacy of feminism and what feminism itself has become. It's almost a faux pas to respect more stereotypically masculine traits these days, when the individual carrying them is a man. This will never be cracked, unless more women also want men to succeed, be respectable members of society and embrace their masculinity, in part because of the way the education system is.

@juliebella1221

Жыл бұрын

You're wrong that they were taken down as a power play. Boys en mass were assaulted in sports, church, scouts, so they shut it down and made more rules to protect them. Watch Spotlight, Boys for Sale. Educate yourself. The number one purchaser of boys is hetero married men with children.

@ktsterlin9304

Жыл бұрын

Can you give examples of the social spaces? What comes to mind are removing thing like workshop, gym or weightlifting from schools but I’m just guessing with that.

Minute 59:00 - 60:00 summarizes so many of our issues.

Temple University student body census count Forty -Four percent men Fifty six percent women. Twelve point gap . (44) (56)

Actually the discussion about age/ brain development is not new at all. I have a 24 and 20 yo and when they were 4-5 yo there was the discussion of how successful people were when they were at the older kids of their grade vs the youngest kids; and most but not all data shows the older kids do better in life. Having said that I do agree with what you are saying. Interestingly I had a very good friend, Doctor, who pushed his oldest child ( same age as my oldest) into school a year early….and after 3-4 yrs held him back a year to get more mature because he wasn’t keeping up. That child now is in Medical school.

Only a little bit into the podcast but a knock-on effect I could possibly see from raising the starting age of boys in school, is greater rates of teen pregnancy. I was a bit of a late bloomer in this regard so maybe I am bias but even at the age of 15 you still have wide swathes of boys in school who aren't developed yet thus barring them from sexual activity, on top of this when you factor in that women generally find men who are a bit older more attractive, I feel this could be a real risk from such a policy. That being said I would imagine the early on benefits from having smarter and better educated young boys would outweigh this, if this is even a risk at all.

@mikejmcc1970

Жыл бұрын

An interesting sidebar actually. Hadn't considered that. It might not be a bad idea to segregate the sexes. I remember the unbelievable distraction girls supplied (no fault if their own) by their very presence to my ability to concentrate. Maybe uniforms?

@juliebella1221

Жыл бұрын

@@mikejmcc1970 In the nicest tone possible, why are girls such a "distraction?" In Hawai'i, we're basically naked all day, young and old, boys and girls, we still manage to get everything done. Seeing boobs and torsos and bums and all that is no big deal, you see thousands a day, bump into them, tops get taken off by the waves all the time. It seems in the locations where people are like nudity means sex, they have this undeveloped mind set of depravity. Seriously, live in Hawai'i or some bathing suit community, and this stigma or "distraction" as you call it, goes away. When everyone's basically naked all day and night, 365 days a year, it's no big deal. Nice to look at, sure. Amazing how anything gets done in Hawai'i with so many almost naked girls EVERYWHERE. LOL!!

Hook me up with that male psychology scholarship!

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I am not sure that just incentivizing men in to the "HEAL" jobs will work. One of the differences between men and women is that men are more interested in things and less interested in people. That difference seems to be more nature than nurture. The HEAL jobs are much more people focused and much less thing focused.

@user-cz5lj2vx1f

2 ай бұрын

It would be nice if the HEALING jobs PAID BETTER. SInce women have always done them, the pay has always been LOW.

Camera goes zoom.

@jmoney9494

Жыл бұрын

After I read this comment I can't stop noticing it 😂

I expect a lot of women really do want a man to be the breadwinner but can't afford it. Feminism has damaged women as well as men. Reeves is doing something very important, in particular regarding education, and kudos to him. But his misunderstanding of feminism is a major weakness. (In short, feminism is not about helping women or equality and most of the gains women have made in the last 100 years are due to non-feminist women and circumstance).

BGS brought me here.

although men earn a little more on wage, women have access to more money than men because part of mos mens wage is to provide for women and rarely the other way around.

The idea of starting boys in school later than girls is not new. My parents read books that advocated this in the early 80s and didn't send me to school until 2nd grade. I was never behind.

13:05 probably a good idea to redshirt boys. Should probably start them in Developmental Kindergarten as well. Or maybe DK by testing or something and rest in regular Kindergarten.

Indifference concerning the struggles of Boys and Men is a zero sum gain that is breeding a spirit of do not care about them, Boys and Men.

@user-cz5lj2vx1f

2 ай бұрын

This cnversdation here between Hughes & Reeves is an example of CARING ABOUT BOYS AND MEN! And I'm seeing more of these conversatoins pop up. Do look at conversatons with CHRIS WILLIAMS, for example. This subject is finally getting attention.

We could solve school by gamifying it. It's already part of the way there.

Men have been artifically propped up over the last few centuries. What we are seeing now is what happens when men and women are on a more equal playing field. Men struggle to keep up. This is odd. I'm listening to him talk about all these carve outs and exceptions that need to be made for men and general struggles they have. Ive seen some of these se talking points over the past few years, especially in spaces trying to appeal to traditionalism. These same people also make the claim that men should be leaders. Those seem to be mutually exclusive concepts if you really believe them.

Enjoyable learning stirs up plenty of enthusiasm in connection to personal studies of the scriptures with spirit and truth. - John 4:23,24

Roe v Wade is not a women's issue. It's a human issue.

@ugh4387

Жыл бұрын

it is a woman's issue, taking away access to women's fundamental rights (the right to choose when and how to start a family) by denying them healthcare is BAD, it increases things like domestic violence towards women and femicide (the biggest killer for pregnant women isn't medical issues due to pregnancy itself or car crashes or accidents it's HOMICIDE!!! often by intimate partners like husbands or boyfriends) not to mention pregnancy and labor itself is inherently dangerous (if women don't get murdered during pregnancy by a man they could die giving birth, it happens ALL THE TIME, like yes we have advanced in medicine but that doesn't mean it's completely without risk), taking away access to abortions doesn't make it happen less it just means women will go back to the dirty conditions of coat hangers and back alleys where we could - you guessed it - ALSO FUCKING DIE!!!! hasn't history taught you anything? pregnancy and labor isn't a gentle wholesome thing about "bringing new life into the world", it's disgusting, messy, and a risk to women's lives both in the fact that we can be murdered by men and by the fact that we can die in the fucking hospital in labor 🙄 and now also die performing self abortions in back alleys due to our access to safe abortions being taken, isn't that great?

Not chromosomes, for sure. Somewhat nurture. The main aspect is hormones.

Patriarchy. Yeah, right. Is that why "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"?

I wonder if the economic value of a college education has decreased in proportion to the increasing female over-representation? Just a thought. Maybe a political science degree does not a high paid worker make. Maybe college is mostly a scam? I didn't go to university, I decided to start reading books and go get a job, I've been making $80,000 a year doing software development since I was 18. Maybe... just maybe... most people don't need to go to college.

Intersectionality is Individualism for fools.

I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me what my problems are because I couldn’t think of anything besides the same issues that are effecting women. Wages, healthcare, (That includes reproductive health) cost of living? If you’re the average white man in America, (that would include me) rejoice! You’ve got it made.

@Werebat

Жыл бұрын

What are you trying to say?

@nosondre

Жыл бұрын

@@Werebat just being my sarcastic self.

@grahamstrouse1165

Жыл бұрын

@@nosondreYou’re not being sarcastic. You’re being incoherent.

In my opinion, the lack of men in social work and in teaching is a social disaster.

As a man who is recovering from ADHD, I was astonished by the mischaracterization of ADHD at 29:30. ADHD affects every aspect of life not just boring lessons, and can make people fail in almost every way, if not treated. This is highly misleading

@grahamstrouse1165

Жыл бұрын

ADHD is not a medical diagnosis. It’s a collection of symptoms which may be associated together but it is not a scientific description of a medical malady.

Address please, deaths on the job. Men comprise upper 90% of all deaths at work. Put that next to so-called pay disparity...

*His reasoning for suggesting that boys should start a year later in school is unconvincing if you ask me. Firstly, how can you truly objectively define and measure such a thing as "mental maturity"? And isn't the idea that girls mature faster than boys actually just rooted in the observation that badly behaved children are mostly male? Badly behaved adults are mostly male as well, but I'm not sure that's due to maturity. It's more likely to be due to the male tendency to be lower in neuroticism and agreeableness. And doesn't this whole sentiment imply that female behaviour should be the ideal standard? I personally think that boys will fare better in school when separated from girls, simply because it removes the incentive to be misbehave and act out to impress girls who reward them for their rebellious behaviour.*

@joelharvey

Жыл бұрын

@@ricklee1756 lol what?

@shortminute

Жыл бұрын

This seems partly true. Boys will perform better in small groups if they feel the groups are somewhat equally distributed. So for example the groups they’re in have an academically gifted student. When boys seem this they buy in and try harder for the group than they do on their own. The arguments for separating the boys is they are more likely to engage in the arts. Such as writing, poetry, theatre, areas where they’d normally be hesitant to express themselves.

@kamu747

Жыл бұрын

His reasoning is actually convincing when you factor in Biology. Mental maturity is measured by placing into account Brain development. It is a fact that women and men develop different parts of the Brain at different rates in order to gain and benefit certain advantages for survival in their early years. These factors balance themselves after adolescence but the foundation matters, because that foundation will have set into motion ripple effects well into adulthood. For instance, with respect to how schools are structured with their curriculums, they inadvertently provide an advantage to females over males because their prefrontal cortex develops earlier and faster than males. The prefrontal cortex modulates cognitive control, thereby influencing attention, impulse inhibition, prospective memory, and cognitive flexibility.

I found Mr. Reeves to be far less compelling than the usual Coleman guest. Possibly because I disagree with much of what he says and am more attentive to the flaws in his arguments. For instance, when he talks about destigmatizing men working in female dominated fields, one gets thr sense that he is addressing merely the idea of other men harassing a man for being in a female-dominated field. But I think that is a laughably small issue. A comparatively larger issue is concern over misperception. One of the consequences of a cultural focus on the inherent evil of men and classical masculinity is that that becomes the lens through which everything is viewed. A woman going go her male-dominated workplace and talking about her endometriosis might be seen as uncouth by her coworkers but not offensive enough to call HR. A man going to a female-dominated workplace and talking about his ED would immediately be labeled as sexual harassment , fired and probably cancelled. I'm not worried about being seen as girly. It takes no food out of my mouth nor the roof from over my head. I AM concerned about being seek as predatory because that can have significant material consequences. That perception is less likely in a workforce that is mostly men, therefore I would prefer that environment to the one where I have to be constantly on guard with everything I say and do. That goes to the comfort of the customer Mr. Reeves talks about buy I think it has an even greater impact for the coworker and in today's society the argument for for that is an even harder sell.

@herbertrichard614

Жыл бұрын

Right. Hysteria over sex harassment and child sex abuse discourages men form entering female dominated fields, e.g., K-12 teaching, health care, caregiving.

@priyavoothuluru2375

Жыл бұрын

One could live with fear or one could see the possibility of serving people (either childcare or elder care). I think more than that it is pay. HEAL jobs pay pitiful salaries for the amount of hard work that is done. That is why those jobs are not preferred by men. There are more male doctors even in pediatrics but very few pediatric male nurses. We are talking about a capitalist society here; so put the money where you want and people (men in particular) will flock to those places.

@antoniomosley9410

Жыл бұрын

​@Priya Voothuluru Because nurses do have an easier time. Male nurses have to do the actual heavy lifting.

I don't even know where to start. Men created the educational system, initially ONLY for males. Last I checked, education hasn't undergone this insane overhaul, so it doesn't make sense to complain that boys are struggling. Maybe they always have, but since they were basically running a one man race it wasn't so noticeable. The fact that women/girls are now outperforming their male counterparts maybe means that a lot of the concepts about men being more logical/scholastically inclined are myths, not that the sytsem is giving an unfair boost to women. As far asen being teachers...I'm a bit lost. Who's stopping them? They need to go to univerisity for that and he already acknowledged they aren't doing that at the same rate as women.

64-year-old, white male, American, lower-working-class, community college dropout, libertarian religio-existentialist here, so there's not much in this that's really relevant to my life. I'm also self-employed and living (quite contentedly) below the "poverty line", as are many other people I know. My demographic markers, nomenclature in the theories of highly educated sociologists and other academics with advanced degrees, do not define me. I suppose I should stay out of it, but I'll offer a few remarks anyway. I notice there's a centrist/center-left movement to invite "disadvantaged" white males (e.g., impoverished hillbillies) into the deeply concerned intersectionalist movement, but if I were younger, I wouldn't be interested. I wouldn't want to become part of the victim club, become coddled and have my life engineered by technocrats. However, many white males may want that, so to each their own... This is apparently all about "helping" boys join the consumerist rat race, and I suppose, giving them therapy when they don't love it. It's mainly about integrating them into the soul-deadening welfare state/crony capitalist/mixed economy. No talk of self-liberation and opting out. People with an aptitude for gadgets and technology (which I don't have much of by the way) can learn through doing, through tinkering. Craigslist has masses of cast-offs that can be fixed. How many exploit this opportunity? Maybe the problem isn't a lack of funding, but too much interference by government with its million and one regulations. I dodge these, as do many self-employed people at the bottom of the socio-economic pecking order, but they still stifle efforts at self-sufficiency. I'm against Title IX and all other regulations against freedom of association and trade. If women and minorities are discriminated against, let them start their own colleges, trade schools and companies, and more power to them if they want to practice affirmative action in them. Nothing wrong with AA, as long as it's voluntary. Let super-rich progressives fund and invest in them. But I suspect all this is unthinkable to Coleman and Richard, who can't imagine that the lowly masses can improve their own situations without the help Big Government and wise, caring experts like themselves.

@AnArchaicSoul

Жыл бұрын

I was firmly in agreement with you during the ""helping" boys join the consumerist rat race" issue but then you turned all libertarian and I just gotta say... of all the economic theories out there Libertarian is by far the silliest and most delusional of them all. And it always happens to unearth the subconscious and even conscious racism that's difficult to extinguish in this society.

The problems facing men are directly negatively affecting women. Cause and effect.

Men have been artifically propped up over the last few centuries. What we are seeing now is what happens when men and women are on a more equal playing field. Men struggle to keep up. This is odd. I'm listening to him talk about all these carve outs and exceptions that need to be made for men and general struggles they have. Ive seen some of these se talking points over the past few years, especially in spaces trying to appeal to traditionalism. These same people also make the claim that men should be leaders. Those seem to be mutually exclusive concepts if you really believe them. Also, i notice how he tries to conveniently point out the struggles of black men. Interesting how race gets brought up when ot's convenient

I wonder what would happen if we took away all porn and video games. Might have a chance.

@juliebella1221

Жыл бұрын

I find it interesting that so many men say the hate women and yet they spend all their time and money on porn, dolls, pros, etc. Women want pros illegal and men don't. If you took all pimps/pros and porn away, would they all become like in prison???

@rex9288

Ай бұрын

@@juliebella1221 youre not very intelligent

I completely disagree that we are attaining balance. I think we have pendulumed the other way. While the concerns around education are completely valid, they are not even close to the most urgent. We live, in the west, in societies that are becoming, where policy is concerned, pathologically compassionate. We treat refugees better than citizens, we value feelings more than facts (speech laws) and we are constantly eroding meritocracy in favour of "equity". I believe these trends are the result of the complete feninisatiom of public discourse.

List of guys Coleman should interview: 1. Obama 2. Thomas Sowell 3. Tommy Sotomayor

@divinegon4671

Жыл бұрын

Obama…??? Give me a break.

@trevorjames6185

Жыл бұрын

I'm pretty sure he's had Thomas So well on. I don't see the point with Sotomayor though

@enhancedutility266

Жыл бұрын

@@trevorjames6185 because Tommy was the spearhead on KZread about the dysfunction in the black community

@smalltalk1373

Жыл бұрын

Tommy sotomayor?!!!

Aggression is not the same thing as violence. Aggression is not a bad thing.

@sportscarman5

Жыл бұрын

Violence is not inherently a bad thing either

@lancewalker2595

Жыл бұрын

@@sportscarman5 I'd say only when someone has introduced violence as a variable to begin with does violence become anything but a bad thing. I don't subscribe to the naive notion that "violence never solves anything", violence is sure to be the proper response to a situation that is already violent; other than that though, I'd say, ya, violence is pretty much inherently bad.

@rex9288

Ай бұрын

@@lancewalker2595 you have a very oversimplified view of this

@lancewalker2595

Ай бұрын

@@rex9288 How so?

@rex9288

Ай бұрын

@@lancewalker2595 Violence isn't always obvious and what's violent to one person isn't always violent to another. Its very difficult to pin point exactly the beginning of a chain of violence. You sound like you're talking about physical violence but I think that's a naive view because there's a lot of violent things that aren't necessarily physical. Also I've come to realize violent situations can have a starting point that is just murky, or starts from a violence that is introduced by neither party or one party unintentionally. The variable of violence underlies a lot of situations and is not necessarily introduced by any party. My personal opinion is violence isn't inherently good or bad. It depends on the situation. Some violence is justified and some isn't. I actually think everyone should have the capacity for violence because people have less of an incentive to be violent if they know everyone else is equally able to be violent.

The 2 male teachers I knew in HS (math and history) ended up with a sexual assault charge, and the other quite because he was sleeping with a student. 2 others were complete misogynistic men (math and science), making fun of women. And another one would give A's to all the girls who wore short skirts (biology). A coach I knew ended up dating an athlete (wrestling). My track coach was a complete perve, and always had sexual comments. And this is just me. Ask the women you know about the "male teachers" they knew. I think keeping men out of underage environments is a good idea. Honestly most men can't keep in in their pants, and taking a risk is to high as it happens to often. Plus, the elementary schools would attract all the pedos. No, I don't want any men teaching.

@juliebella1221

Жыл бұрын

Then they went to church and ccd......men have always abused both boys and girls in "teaching" "camp counselor" "boy scout leader" "coach" Even the principals are pervs.

@deborafernandes1026

11 ай бұрын

Not all men are like that ! I had male teachers and nothing never happened

Great guest. Mediocre interviewer.

You have a huge misinformation about ADHD. The main reason is the name, it is not and never been a *deficit* of attention. It is the inability to regulate your attention based on priority, not interest. ADHD people are great at focusing on things they're interested in. Given that they're also more creative than average people, it is very likely that they choose creative professions, such as music. So it is pretty logical to assume those musicians you meet may have ADHD and spend hours on practicing. Because they like it. In fact mostly we can't stop focusing on what we like. If the thing you like is your job, then it makes you great at your work. That 1:4 gender ratio on diagnosis is beacuse criteria is based on boys with ADHD I am 1 of those millions of undiagnosed girls now. Because my hyperactivity didnt present as running around in class. It was just talking a lot and playing with my hair and doodling, like many other females. I like your channel but please do some research before you talk about a topic this important.

@FREE_WILL_DEFENDER

4 ай бұрын

Again the issue is ADHD is aimed at boys specifically and is seen as a malfunction of males

Does it seem like every time the subject of male specific issues are broached there is a need to couch it in a racial discussion? Don't get me wrong, on certain particular manifestations of disastrous outcomes there is a racial element, but nearly every disastrous outcome is primarily a male issue. Also, I get his need to give the feminist caveat, however "feminism" doesn't seem to be the answer here (and frankly, why it should it be? It's called feminism). Do boys develop more slowly on average, or just differently? Verbal intelligence is not the same as spatial intelligence, could it be simply that our education system values verbal intelligence over spatial intelligence (ergo, word problems in math class)?

@roelofjacobs5807

Жыл бұрын

"Do boys develop more slowly on average, or just differently?" There are parts of the brain that matures later in boys, this has been studied and known for years. Also, the growth spurt during puberty occurs roughly two years later in life. Although you could argue that boys also develop differently and that this 'different' might sometimes be contributed to developing more slowly, there are also biological processes that occur later in boys. As to the racial element, now that you mention it... I can imagine that boys from poor working-class families are affected more. That black families tend to be more likely to be a poor working-class family (or a poor single mother household) can therefor result into racial disparities, while race has little to do with neither the problem(s), nor the solution(s). As to feminism, I don't think that feminism provide any solution to these problems either. But you could argue that 'tools' or 'lenses' were created for feminism, that can be re-used. If not mistaken, that is where Richers Reeves was mostly hinting at. Might be a nice question to ask him. Perhaps he could give one or two examples (or not).

@lancewalker2595

Жыл бұрын

@@roelofjacobs5807 Right. But what is developing in the meantime? You think male development just has a deadspot? That doesn't strike me as very likely, probably the developmental differences are there for a good evolutionary reason.

@roelofjacobs5807

Жыл бұрын

@@lancewalker2595 "You think male development just has a deadspot?" No. Why do you think I might think that? "Probably the developmental differences are there for a good evolutionary reason." Yup, probably there are. A reason I can think of is due: A later growth spurt could have been evolutionary's successful attempt to make men end up taller and stronger. And as a result, more successful in general. This difference does not have to be beneficial at the age of fifteen, just beneficial overall. This could be because of the mating competition. A male that has an earlier grow spurt might be able to outperform males of similar age for two years but might get physically outperformed by them later in life. And during those two years, this male will still get physically outperformed by males who are two years older. And... now we have invented schools where you have to sit still and do your homework at the age of fifteen. -- -- -- Side note, there are other differences that are mentioned which can easily be traced back to evolution. And as society the task to make sure to explore the good bits of these different character traits. Enhance its strengths and control its weaknesses.

@andrewfox368

Жыл бұрын

Couching it in race is, frankly, the only way for a lot of intersectionalists to be capable of empathizing.

@lancewalker2595

Жыл бұрын

@@andrewfox368 And fuck em for that. These dogmatists are the last thing humanity needs right now.

He did well, for a guy that says "it's true" with too much confidence and too little supporting data. On top of that, he then goes on to talk about "making an effort to help men get into jobs traditionally dominated by women". Is this man just textbook social constructionist? It's almost insulting to hear him acknowledge that both nature and nurture are relevant, proceeds to criticize those who focus on only one of them AND then does EXACTLY the same thing by proposing to get men into jobs that are PROVEN to not be in their domain of interest. Please, anyone. I have watched this man talk for about 5 hours total and I haven't seen him challenged in the least bit about these assumed starting points. What am I not getting?